View Full Version : Pokemon: Kanto Reborned!
October 8th, 2007, 7:12 AM
Welcome to another comic of me :P
please be nice and give nice comments ;)
Bio 'bout the characters:
Credits: The spriters resource, Matt Silver (the speech bubbles) ^^ And last but not least Vgmaps for the maps :)
October 8th, 2007, 4:03 PM
Reborned is neither a real word nor a very enticing title (if you ask me.), because it makes you sound illiterate.
Also, the bio of your character is rather blunt.
-'He's a very good kid' That could mean anything.
-'He's strong' So he's a Mary sue?
-'He joins our hero's' If he's a good kid, then you wouldn't put him in the story, nor dedicate an entire comic to him, if he wasn't going to join the hero's.
Also, you have two credits. Unless you custom made those overworlds, your missing some. Fix all the weird grammatical mistakes in the last slide ("next ?,"), as well as never do that again. It's a waste of space. A four slide comic is rather short, as well.
Rethink your characters. Just because they're sprites doesn't mean they're not human. We are very advanced. So should your characters.
Some grammar mistakes
Use your space wisely, and make your comics longer.
October 8th, 2007, 9:50 PM
Who said you could use my speech bubbles? Lol, Im just kidding. They're not really mine anyway - I was just the first to use those colors and stuff as speech bubbles.
I basically agree with everything Angel said - your character isn't the peak of originality right now, and probably doesn't need a bio until we actually learn some more in the comic. Giovanni's kid who's good? That's kinda Mary-Sue-ish.
Keep trying. Just follow our advice if you want.
October 9th, 2007, 3:22 AM
Lol. Silver is Giovanni's son, but it's ok. You should go along with what they said, you'll get better.
For now I'll give it a 5.5/10.
October 9th, 2007, 3:49 AM
Omg Silver is Giovanni's Real Son o.o''
Episode 2 :D
October 9th, 2007, 9:38 AM
Alright, Comic is ok but you're missing credit I think, did you make all that yourself, You need to stop with the "Read the next episode" on the last panel, it is a comic, so we know there will be another comic. Plus it is toooo short. WAY TO SHORT!
October 17th, 2007, 12:18 PM
Meh about the panels to short idc i like them :P
I made a freewebs site with all comics i will update if i made another one