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Lumine
November 10th, 2007, 06:29 AM
Warning: Extreme suxorz poem lawlz

She flies around
Flower to flower
Taking what she needs
No more.

High and low
The butterfly goes
Trying to see
But not to be seen.

Past the trees
And the other bugs
She flies around all day
Until the sun sets.

When tomorrow comes
The butterfly keeps flying
She never stops
She never looks back

Above the grass
That snickers below
Past the trees
Which point and laugh.

When the sun sets
The butterfly's wings droop
As she sleeps
Upon a flower.

When morning comes again
It looks upon the butterfly
With sorrow
As the butterfly sets off.
Once again
Past the trees, above the grass
By the other bugs
And then, the butterfly lands.

A small child picks her up and
drops her
And the butterfly
She tries to fly
But she can't.

She stays where she is
Upon the cruel grass
Which tears at her wings
And the next day comes.

The trees and bugs
Ignore her
The grass
Stares haughtily

And as the sun sets
The butterfly dies..goodbye
No one notices
Does anyone care?


Sucks? amazing? boring? you be the judge.

Lady Nicole
November 10th, 2007, 07:03 AM
=O Damn you, you copied my warning idea!!! =P

I really like this. I think at the beginning it's really effective and just pleasant the way you go on about the butterfly's "way of life", if you get me. It's quite cute. And then it's really sad when the butterfly suffers; you make it so obvious how delicate it is :( I think it's one amazing poem. I mean, I'm not a very good judge on this kind of thing, but that's what I think =P

Lumine
November 10th, 2007, 07:08 AM
=O Damn you, you copied my warning idea!!! =P
So? sue me =P

I really like this. I think at the beginning it's really effective and just pleasant the way you go on about the butterfly's "way of life", if you get me. It's quite cute. And then it's really sad when the butterfly suffers;
To be honest I'm actually the boy who made the butterfly suffers..yes I still remembered the day I tortured a butterfly when I was like 10?

you make it so obvious how delicate it is :( I think it's one amazing poem. I mean, I'm not a very good judge on this kind of thing, but that's what I think =P
Amazing? thanks Nikki, that's one good rating so far xD



Comments in quotes, yes I'm lazy...