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captainunderboy
January 4th, 2008, 03:40 AM
dash starts his pokemon team with his friends chica a water type trainer
pish a grass type trainer and dash the fire type trainer. they start of on route 1 and find their rivals blocking the path to hehe city. they battled their rivals, dash used chimchar and his rival used poliwrath chimchar used
flamethrower and poliwrath dodged and used water gun and knocked chimchar out. piplup used ice beam and turtwig dodged and used razor leaf scoring a hit and took out piplup, last was turtwig and he took on blazaken and used bite blazeaken used fire kick and finished him off. the rivals win and they left and laught at them back to thier home town pallet town. are heroes put their pokemon to nurse joy and they got better.

Astinus
January 4th, 2008, 04:23 AM
First of all, this is completely in the wrong section. Fanfics go in the main section.

Second of all, this isn't even up to the standards of the regular fanfiction section and should be in the Bin. But I'm not going to move it there since the evaluators are busy so this will just sit there without reviews.

Third of all, please have a better command of the English language. Learn to use capital letters, punctuation...heck, just have more coherent wording. What does it mean to "put your Pokemon to Nurse Joy"?

"Path to hehe city"? If this is in Kanto, why don't you just use Kanto cities instead of random badly named towns?

I would advise you to try another fanfic with better English in it. Try to learn the rules of the English language or ask for help from someone who knows it.

And I remember you from before and an unpleasant run-in from last month.

All these strikes against you pretty much equates to a closed thread. Learn lessons from previous events and use it to better yourself. Improve yourself on this forum, or it's not going to be a good time here for you.