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Sephiroth-Kun
January 6th, 2008, 07:23 AM
I just thought I'd share my Fan-Fiction to see what everyone thought about it. Tell me if can write good or not! Thanks!

This is based off of Twilight Princess, so you won't understand some of the story unless you've played the game.

This is also just a short story.

The Legend of Zelda: The Unwanted Visitor



Link dodged another swoop of Ganon’s humongous sword, rolled around behind him and jumped up and swirled his blade around. Then took his chance and gave Ganon two or three slices with the Master Sword. Ganon, got up and Link came in to do yet another attack, but Ganon caught him, knocked him over with his free arm and just as he was about to plunge the sword deep into Link’s chest, Link leaped out of his bed, panting and sweating. Yet another dream. Link had been having recurring dreams about Ganon for several weeks, ever since the…incident.

Link had been back in Ordon, taking care of his regular business when he saw a bag of rupees going down the river. Link dived in to get the bag and return it to one of the residents of Ordon. He swam, but just couldn’t seem to get the bag. Eventually he came to a cave at the end of the river. He climbed out of the water and grabbed the bag of rupees. He looked in the cave and saw a tiny glowing light zoom past and into one of the corridors. Link followed it through the winding passageways and eventually came to an odd door. He twisted the intricate knob and pushed the door open. It was an elaborate room with a tall ceiling. The floor was so detailed with words and writing it would take Link days to read all of it. The walls had strange pictures of shadows going out of bodies, or the shadow moving the person's body, instead of a person controlling the shadow. In the center was a black crystal with a white crack on the front. Curious, Link stepped forward and looked at the crystal. He reached forward to touch it when suddenly it exploded, and a darkness surrounded Link’s entire body. Link ran around blindly as the darkness covered his eyes, he was flailing, running, then he ran right into a wall and knocked himself out. He woke several hours later and stood, rubbing his head which had developed a large welt. He looked around and suddenly a white glowing fairy popped up and said,
“Hi!! My name is Narai! I saw you touch that weird stone in the middle of the room. I stayed in here and waited for you to wake up because I wanted to stay with you. The other person I used to follow died a long time ago…Anyway, your name is Link, right?” Link gave the Narai a puzzled look. “Oh, I knew your name because it says it right there, on the side of your shirt.” Link shook his head…he didn’t remember that being there before… “Well, what are you waiting for, let’s get out of here!”
Link and the fairy worked their way back out of the cave and he walked up the side of the river back to Ordon. Later that evening, when Link was showering, he noticed he had a white crack along his chest. He touched it and there was a watery glowing white liquid in it. Now he had been trying to hide it from everyone, because it was very strange. He had been hiding it for at least three weeks. Today, right after he went to the barn and let out the goats, he was going to go to the Ordon spring and ask the Light Spirit what it might be. Link put on his regular villager clothes and walked out the door.

Link walked down the path through the forest and stepped into the warm waters of the Ordon spring. He called for the Light Sprit, Ordona, and it rose up from the waters before him in its form of a goat.
“What is it, young Link?” Link took off his shirt and pointed to his chest “What might this be? Drop some of the liquid into my waters so I might figure what it could be.” Link touched his chest then stuck his index finger into the unimaginably soothing waters of the Ordon spring and let the strange liquid flow off of his finger. The liquid drifted up the spring and the tiny little semi-circle miniature waterfall in front of Ordona. It went into the Light of the Light Spirit, and it turned white. Ordona examined it’s Light. Thinking, looking into it. Then suddenly the spirit looked up and said,
“Link! Run! The crack on your chest it’s Ga-“ Suddenly the Light turned black and absorbed Ordona. Link jumped backward. Suddenly, the Light withered. Link’s eyes turned from a vivid blue to yellow, and a streak of red grew into his golden blonde hair. Ganon let out a deviant chuckle.
“Ha Link, you fell for my plan to return. I told you I would be back for my revenge, and I was. This fairy, Narai came to me, and touched the dark power flowing from my chest, and I took control of her body. I then went around and searched into the art of possession. I finally found that cave at the very edge of Ordon that provided me with all the information I would need to posses someone. I retrieved a dark crystal and put all of my life force in it, and then I took the crystal to the cave. Then one day, finally, you came to the cave and I used the fairy’s body to take you to the room that I put the dark crystal which contained my darkness and my life force. You came in to touch it, and I released the power, and the possessive powers of the dark crystal enveloped your body and pushed me inside of you. I knew every thought you had, and anticipated taking out one of the Light Spirits. Plus, I could regain my power from living off of you and now I will— ” Suddenly the Light Spirit stood and rammed directly into Link’s chest. Ganon screamed and suddenly darkness spilled from the crack in Link’s chest. All of the Darkness gathered in one spot and there – Ganondorf formed. Link returned to normal.
“Just thought…I could help…make it a fair…fight….Good luck, Link.” The Light Spirit then dried out and died. The water stopped flowing from the spring. The light tears floated out of the Spirit, and into Link’s body…Suddenly, Link was garbed in his green tunic and hat. He had a Hylian sheild and….The Master Sword. It was the doing of the Light Spirit. It awakened once again the ancient power of The Hero of Time.
“You think you can defeat me again Link? I don’t. I am going to kill you now, Link.” Link drew the Master Sword and took a stance. Then he leaped forward and prepared to slash straight down into Ganondorf but Ganon lifted up his abnormally large sword and blocked Link’s jump attack. Link rolled around slashed his back a couple times and then stabbed him. Ganon whirled around and whacked Link in the side with his sword. Link went flying across the dry spring and hit the wall. Ganon walked forward. Lifted up his sword and then, as he was plunging it downward to Link’s chest, Link slung the Master Sword into Ganon’s and knocked it out of his hand. Stunned, Ganon stood there. Link leaped up, grabbed Ganon’s sword, and slashed him with it and the Master Sword. Ganon fell over, injured. Link jumped up into the air, came down and drove both swords straight into Ganon’s chest.

The life left his eyes as Ganondorf died and peace was once more returned to the land of Hyrule.

Vanilla Kitsune
January 6th, 2008, 09:08 AM
Is this supposed to be an entire story or just a chapter? You didn't specify I don't think which one it was.

If it was an entire one shot story, it needed to be MUCH longer. I realize if it was just a one shot, then naturally, it's gonna be short. One shot stories tend to be either romantic rather than epic as this one was.

If this was a chapter, it was rather on the short side, but okay for what it was.

There weren't that many character interactions, which kind of upset me. Instead of keeping Link mute, you could've had him talk. Typically, the main character should speak and interact with words AND preform actions. Afterall, this isn't the video game.

It was short, but it was okay. Room for improvement. Description needs lots of improvement.

Sephiroth-Kun
January 6th, 2008, 09:22 AM
Well, it was a SHORT story. I wrote it at 4:00 a.m. because I didn't want to forget anything. And also, I didn't want to stray from the classic "Silent Protaganist" theme Link had.