View Full Version : My Poetry Thread

January 21st, 2008, 5:59 PM
This is my poetry thread where I will post my poems


You evil scum.

You've brought me down.

I hope you get to see your bloody face.

Once my friend, now a backstabber.

Now I must not hold back.

What has changed you?

Now it seems as if i'm in cold water colored black.

Enemy. Backstabber. Traitor. Rival.

Don't think you can fool me.

I know all your tricks.

Tearing me like a bear eating fish.

So long. My former buddy.


Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

You intelligent little schemer.

Telling us what we aren't supposed to do.

And then doing it.

Why must you not see the light?

Growing up in a hostile place,

Surrounded by nothing but fear in it's face.

Groundbreaking truth.

You just have to own everything.

No. no. no. no. no.

I will not listen.

Actions speak louder than words.

I will not watch.

I will do what I want.

I want to finish you off.

Breaking our hearts.

Eating our dreams.

Singing to themes while you're just sitting there,

Disobeying what you've told us.

Keeping us quiet.

Afraid of the truth.

Inside your mind you have all the proof.


You have betrayed us all.

My brothers and sisters.

My friends.

My teachers.

You were my teacher once.

But the brain has controlled and taken over the job of yours,

To tell us what we're not supposed to do.

The Archer

The archer.

He has come.

All of our lifes are now lost.

The devil himself.

Beating our hearts into the dirt.


My blank face.

All pale and no where to look.

Locked in a position where anyone or anything could push with the lightest touch.

I'm stiff. I'm limp.

I try to call out.

I can't.

My mouth won't move.

Please, someone save me.

My heart is fading away.

THUMP. THUMp. THUmp. THump. Thump. thump. thum. thu. th. t.


I have left this world.

Gone to a better place.

Contacting from signs.



My sign.


December 3rd.

My eyes.

They are closing.

I have...


My loved ones will grieve.

I will not.

My friends will rest.

I will not.

Untill one day where they have come,

I shall open the door and embrace them.

They will come and enjoy cloud tea with me,

In the place above the sky.

In the place beyond the stars.

In the place beyond the boundaries of time and space.

That one was written for my grandpa.
I put it in his perspective.
I hope he's okay,
In the place above the sky
In the place beyond the stars
In the place beyond the reaches of time and space.
I know you're up there.
I stare at you in the sky every night.
I know you are now part of Sagittarius.

January 22nd, 2008, 5:26 PM
My Bully, the Porcupine

You're evil,

You porcupine.

Just like the victims proposed.

A Porcupine is a bully,

It's thorns have been picked from a most generous rose garden,

But then twisted evil by growing up unloved.

You're just trying to get attention.

To get the attention you deserve, dear Porcupine,

You must simply get rid of these nasty deeds.

I have loved you,

Now love back.

If one gives you an opportunity,

Step through that gate.

Open a newlife, Mr. Porcupine.

Or if not, every time your victim moves, your thorn gets deeper,

And deeper,

And deeper.

Until it gets to the heart, where it turns the victim to evil.

Please stop it Mr. Porcupine.

Please by my friend, the Porcupine.

February 14th, 2008, 4:38 PM
Come on guys! Reply!


The Physics of Fun


What are you talking about?

There are no physics to fun.

Just get outside,

run around,

jump up and down!

Don't be a square!

Do what you like!

What's your favorite hobby?

If you're obtuse,

You're going to be really boring.

Play video games,

Watch TV,

Swing on a swing set,

Play paintball with your friends.


No friends?

Be funny!

Make jokes,

Hang out,

See what they like.

Then, let them see what you like!

If you have a hobby in common,

Play that!

Now come on!

Get off of this computer,

And I will too!

Because we're going outside to have fun!

Yes, i'll get off now.

March 1st, 2008, 5:43 PM
I would hate to be near you.

Poetry should be full of emotion when writing, but this kind of poetry just inspires more hate. Keep this kind of anger to your self.

It's not even passion ffs.

March 3rd, 2008, 3:07 PM
I thought it was good apart from, what pokecosmo said, it would be better if you had sad, happy, angry and diferent emotions of poems to make them seem better. They do seem quite good though.

March 3rd, 2008, 3:21 PM
Okay, thank you. I'll work on a poem right away.

March 12th, 2008, 12:28 PM
Okay, i'll do a little Haiku

My Fantasy Place
Ocean so peaceful
Fish carelessly float about
My fantasy place

My Favorite Spots
Florida beaches
California mountaintops
Ottowa great lakes

My Favorite Spots Cont.
Japanese gardens
Arctic Circle bays and seas
My favorite spots

Guardian Ninjas
Guardian ninjas
Start their war in pure chaos,
And end in a bow

Nights of Florida
Oranges bloom in the day
I hope to live there

Dawn means a new day
To do my activities
And play with my friends

Sorry if this is a little weak. I was just out of ideas, so just rate this, and please post what you would like me to write.

March 13th, 2008, 4:06 PM
weak?, come on you have a big repertory of faboulos poems, I have not yet read everything
But I will try to finish with all
Good luck!!

Romance Hero
March 21st, 2008, 3:57 PM
I would hate to be near you.

Poetry should be full of emotion when writing, but this kind of poetry just inspires more hate. Keep this kind of anger to your self.

It's not even passion ffs.

Your criticism isn't quite finished. You should clearly say which part bothered you the most. Frankly, I like this guy's poetry. And besides, isn't hate also an emotion? He expressed his anger into his poetry, and many poets do that -not all the time- for emotional poetry.

Right... so I see you're doing different kinds of poetry, which is not bad at all, it's good to excercise all different types. Makes you all the more well-rounded writer. :)