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Miss Raichu
January 24th, 2008, 02:16 AM
Change

Chapter 1 (http://pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?p=3274759#post3274759)
Chapter 2 (http://pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?p=3275374#post3275374)
Chapter 3 (http://pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?p=3275752#post3275752)




"Why do things change?"
"Because he wills it so"
"But I like the way it is now..."
"I'm sorry ”

Chapter One

At the top of Mt Silver, snow-capped peaks create fresh and sparkling clean water that travels down a slender and unshorn stream. After a long journey down the mountain face, the water reaches its final destination and rains down in a glorious cascading shower off a jagged cliff. A grand lake surrounded by a lush and radiant forest cradles this pure spring run off.

Entangled around the peaceful lake is thick, mossy grass, which is quickly swallowed up by an obstruction of overgrowing, ancient redwoods. This divine paradise is hidden in a dense forest, untainted by the toxic disease known as humanity.

In the gentile embrace of two withering roots from a huge decaying redwood lies a small Raichu lost in a blissful slumber. The majority of its body is covered with a layer of freshly dug up dirt: as if it had partly burrowed its self in the ground. In an almost perfect ring-like shape around it's nest is bare, scorched, earth. Powerful bolts of static suddenly charged from the Raichu's body as it exhales, sending bright blue veins of purified power dancing gracefully around the burnt, bark-less trunk of the massive tree and running out along the bare ground.

The Raichu's long ears twitched slightly as the electricity discharged from its body. It's cheek pads were small and a pale red, but still ripe with static from the earlier discharge. With a soft moan the Raichu rolled onto its backside; knocking it's make shift dirt blanket back onto the bare ground. With this is revealed what was once an elegant and thick coat, now nothing but a straggly and matted mess of thinning fur. Raichu's tuff of belly hair was no longer white, but a pale, coppery mess of tangled mud. It's lengthy, slender tail curled up to its body, resting the sharpend lighting bolt tip next to it's face.

The Raichu was quickly awoken by a deeply alarming whistling sound which seems to have come from the clouds themselves. Still trapped in a groggy state of semi-sleep, Raichu pulled itself onto it's hind legs and in a listless way it extended to the tips of its toes to slowly survey the area around its nest. The Raichu's glossed over, deep, black eyes focused on the lake a couple feet away.

In an almost divine way, the abnormally small creatures body went numb. Staring blindly into the dazzling sun soaked lake, only hearing its soft heart beat ring through its body. All of its senses were focused at a small awkwardly cast shadow on the lake. The obscure shadow began to grow and engulf almost a quarter of the water. As abrupt as Raichu was brought into this surreal experience, it was jolted from it, left only with the echo of a foreign voice in its head.

"Look out!" followed by a giggle that flowed off into the back of Raichu's mind.

Raichu tilted its head up slightly only to have its vision of the sky obscured by a catastrophic shadow cast down from the heavens. The next events are nothing but a blur of extreme senses, forever burnt into Raichu's memory: A brief gust of harsh wind, much like being at the mercy of a twister for mere seconds, followed by a thundering clash of destruction. Raichu felt the earth tremble under its paws, the feeling was almost instantaneously chased with the rush of chilly water, and lots of it.

The cold shock fully awoken the poor thing. It took a few harsh breaths as the icy water soaks through its fur and straight into it's bones, sending a cold chill up it's spine. Glancing around quickly Raichu saw that not only it was wet, but so was everything around it. What was once dirt beneath its paws is now a puddle of sloppy mud, which in fact was the same for everything near the lake. Even some lower branches on the trees were dripping with water.

Raichu sighed in confusion, as everything expect for the misplaced water seemed undisturbed. As if nothing had really happened.














I've already posted this fic once on PokeCommunity. But I forgot the password to that account ^__^;; So here it is again!Chapter two is done, but it's really late and I'm tired so I'm not sure how well it was done. I'll read it over tomorrow morning then post it. But I'm sure I'll dislike it and re-write a lot of it. I have a feeling I need to add more description. So expect it sometime in the late afternoon :P

I love constructive criticism <3

IceDragon2439
January 24th, 2008, 07:47 AM
I see no grammatical errors. There is great description in this story. I'm one that reads and in my mind creates the story in images. This definetly went through my mind vividly. Keep up the good work and I'll read the next chapter.

Miss Raichu
January 24th, 2008, 11:40 AM
Chapter Two

Nothing but an astonished look was plastered on the dripping wet face of a young Squirtle. Who was unfortunate enough to be sitting only a few feet away from the lake, when what seemed like a piece of the sky had fallen. Trickles of water run down it's creamy blue scales and flowed off the back of it's shell.

"Carson, what just happened?" The aged, calming voice of a male was accompanied by a reassuring paw placed gently on the Squirtle's shell-concealed-shoulder. Carson the Squirtle turned to meet the face of the undersized Raichu standing behind him.
"I have absolutely no idea Vehlin" Carson spoke softly, still in a state of complete shock. "I think... that... thing..." He slowly trailed off while his focus shifted back to the lake.

The overwhelming smell of what could only be distinguished as burnt tree bark and salt consumed the air and filled the noses of Pokemon near and far. Following the stench was a misplaced sound. This sound started as nothing more then a low, monotone hiss but it quickly caught the attention of Raichu and Squirtle as the innocent little noise morphed into the mighty roar of water being brought to a rapid boil. Almost in perfect sync the two males laid eyes on the strangest phenomena they had ever seen. Their once beloved lake was now nothing but a bubbling inferno. Steam and heat billowed from the boiling pit much like the smoke from a furious forest fire.

Carson's inevitable instincts began to kick in, he spun swiftly around to meet the large, black, orbs of Vehlin. The reassuring calm found in the Raichu's face gave Carson no relief and he scuttled off towards the forest. As Carson's eyes left the alluring gaze of Vehlin's, the Raichu was sent back into the same numbing state he was forced into only a few breaths before this whole catastrophic event had occurred. Life slowed down for Vehlin, and even the thunderous echo of his own heartbeat slowed to the pace of snail. Caught in this divine trance once again, it felt as if the air weighed more then himself, it took a tremendous amount of effort and time just to tilt his head towards Carson. His eyes widened as the glimpse of Carson's cowardly act came into focus. The Squirtle had also fallen pray to the mysteriously slow progression of time, though he had put all of his might and even the purified adrenaline that flowed through his veins into his fleeing, his lagged and sluggish movements made it seem like he would never leave the lake's clearing.

"No!" That same familiar yet so exotic voice bounced through Raichu's skull. "Look out!" Vehlin was thrust from his surreal experience and throttled back into the normal flow of time. All of his lost senses returned to him in a grand barrage of scents, feelings and sounds.

Vehlin's eyes where still glazed over as his line of sight extended up from the Squirtle's fleeing attempts and rested on the bushes in front of his path. A new, very unfamiliar sound emerged from the distant forests, the loud offset rumbling echoed through out the trees. The odd sound was accompanied by what Vehlin could only believe to be Stantler trampling the ground and bushes. But that couldn't be right he thought to himself as a sicking feeling began to set in the pit of his stomach.

The foliage that Raichu's eyes was set on where suddenly torn asunder by a blocky, monstrous, demon that had been the center of the frightening sound of power and destruction that Vehlin had heard only moments before. The small Squirtle was running straight into the beast's path. With only a few breaths between the coming disaster, Raichu had no choices left and resigned Carson's and his own fate by dropping his eyelids and keeping his eyes closed tightly.

The Raichu tucked his ears down, tightly against his head as they where being filled with a horrifying squealing from the mechanical beast.
"I don't want to die." It muttered between each gasp of breath. The despair shook his spine like an earthquake as the noise of the demon skidding through the muddy ground moved closer and closer towards him.
"I don't want to..."

"Oh my gosh! We...we hit something!" The shrill voice of a female human replaced the mighty growls of the demon. “Eww!”
Carson was paralyzed with fear, the near miss was so much of a shock to the little Squirtle that he could feel his heart skip each second beat. Tears swelled in his eyes as he turned to see a most horrid sight. Nothing but a tail, Vehlin's tail to be exact, was visible from beneath the monsters massive belly. Carson swallowed back as the tears run down his pale cheeks. He turned his back to the terrible accident and took off into the forest, with every muscle in his body working towards his escape.

And old man dressed only in some trousers and a lap coat stepped out from behind the young girl to inspect the problem himself. He had scraggy brown hair and facial hair to match. Plastered on his face was an angry, fiendish expression.
“Well then you idiot don't just stand there. Throw the damned thing in a garbage bag and into the back of the Jeep.”

“But sir...” the female replied with the feeling of her own morals choking her words. “It's a Pokemon, and you killed it.”

“Yes, and It's an outrages fine that I'm willing to cut out of your paycheck if you don't toss it in a dumpster when we get back to town!” the scientist said with a vile grin stretching across his face. He turned his back to the girl and glanced out over the lake.

The young female hesitantly crouched down and spoke words filled with regret “Yes sir.”

Splattered on the ground and up the tires of the jeep was thick, crimson blood. The girl swallowed back the sickness that boiled in her stomach, and watched as the blood rained from the underside of the Jeep into a quickly expanding puddle beneath the wheel.

“Poor thing.”








Constructive criticism is always appreciated!

Miss Raichu
January 24th, 2008, 02:41 PM
Chapter Three

“We've talked a lot, but I've never really explained to you why.”
“No you haven't, please tell me.”
“I'm... well I suppose it does not matter who I am, it just matters who you are.”
“I know who I am. I'm Vehlin.”
“You're not just Vehlin. You're one of my guardians.”
“A...a guardian?”
“Yes, I have many guardians on this planet. Me and god can't always be looking after everything right? That's a big job.”
“Yeah I bet. Wait... did you say god?”
“So I appointed some Pokemon to be guardians, to look after the other Pokemon on the planet. That's your job. You have to protect those that can not protect themselves, and make sure that the natural balance of life remains... balanced!”
“I don't think I can do that.”
“Not if you keep getting yourself ran over silly.”
“I got ran over?”
“Yup, you're dead!”
“...”

Vehlin opened his mouth to take what seemed like his very first breath.

“Oh don't worry about it, you're a guardian! They can't get rid of you that easily.”

However instead of the sweet forest air his lungs where so accustom too, his mouth was filled with a thick, metallic tasting liquid. In a panic he took another gasp only for it to end in the same terrible fate. His lungs pleaded for oxygen and against Vehlin's own common sense he inhaled sharply once more. Not only was his mouth packed full with this disgusting fluid, but it was sent shooting up Vehlin's nose. Panic and fear sank deep into his heart, in a last ditch desperate attempt, he flailed madly trying to obtain the air that his body craved. With each small movement pain filled his entire body, Vehlin's muscles ached severely, but he knew that if he didn't get air he would die.

His franticly swatting paws met with a most unfamiliar texture. A thin, stretchy membrane that completely surrounded his body, but this mysterious forcefield was no match for the furious swipes of Vehlin's paws and the membrane that was entangled around him was easily shredded to pieces. Although his eyes where shut tightly he knew that the bright rays of the sun were now shinning down on him. The flesh in his body burnt with torment and his lungs were dry and empty, yet still Vehlin craved freedom. With one final thrust from his hind legs he pushed himself up from his plastic prison and rested in the soft warmth of the midday sun.

Vehlin forced the terrible liquid out from his mouth with violent hacks. It spilled out onto his chest and paws and the life giving oxygen that now freely flowed through his fur took it's place. He took a few large gasps, reassuring his lunges that there was now plenty of air. The little Raichu rubbed the thick liquid from his face and slowly opened his eyes.

A terrifying vision filled his mind as his eyes came into focus. Red, red everywhere. He was covered in blood and he had been choking on blood... his own blood. The sinking feeling of hysteria shot through his mind. Vehlin took a few steps back, only to realize there was no back. He tripped over the edge of whatever he may have been resting on and plummeted straight to the cold, hard ground. A splatter of the blood that coated his body left an imprint on the ground where he fell.

Every inch of his body felt as if it was lit on fire, a tremendous amount of pain surged through each and every muscle with each and every breath. Vehlin could barely think, so he did the only thing he could, he sat there on the ground with his eyes shut tightly.

Vehlin kept trying to think of his home, and his friends. But now nothing but images of the past traumas floated through his mind. As much as the Raichu kept wishing he was home, he knew in his heart he was somewhere very far away. The ground was cold and dead, nothing like that existed in his forest. Everything there was full with pure, happy, life.

“Life” the word echoed in Vehlin's head. He had no life, for how long he did not know. All he knew was he got killed by a monster in the forest. But now, he was here. Breathing. Thinking. Living.

But Vehlin could not dwell on this. He understood that he was somehow now alive and could not even begin to think about going home, or do anything for that matter, in the sorry state he was in. Rest, that's what he truly needed...






I can't wait for the next chapter! Finally there is going to be action.