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Careful With That Axe, Pichu!
February 4th, 2008, 09:19 PM
A man in the maze, a roundabout vision,
in foretime we met as dim faith, in precision.
I had heard a death call, my name in the wood;
the song of a blackbird no traveler withstood.

He looked as to tears of tomorrow, temptations--
he led me to gaze at his hollow creations;
his cloud-cradled moon, requiems began
with laughter to curse upon age to the man.

The hermit seemed ailing and mournful, depressing.
Whoever should come across, mourning his blessing
had not halted journeys, together with pride,
and wed down to greed, aversion for bride.

Upon this I cried, the man looked with graces,
I smiled to his long dreams to faraway places;
my life’s light begone, a wise soul not taken
A grateful farewell, indulgence forsaken.

Klippy
February 4th, 2008, 09:25 PM
Beautiful, Oni. Really.

This is professional poetry. I'm simply amazed. There's nothing wrong with it, as far as I'm concerned.

Bravo.~

BeachBoy
February 4th, 2008, 09:38 PM
Beautiful, Oni. Really.

This is professional poetry. I'm simply amazed. There's nothing wrong with it, as far as I'm concerned.

Bravo.~

I completely agree! It was in my opinion, flawless. I enjoyed reading that wonderful poetry. The words flowed well through out the poem, which I marvel as well.

Excellent.

kidpunk
February 5th, 2008, 12:30 PM
I completely agree! It was in my opinion, flawless. I enjoyed reading that wonderful poetry. The words flowed well through out the poem, which I marvel as well.

Excellent.

Agreed with. Not one flaw anywhere throughout the whole poem. Amazing, simply amzing.

Careful With That Axe, Pichu!
February 5th, 2008, 07:39 PM
Thank you enormously for the replies. I'm glad to see you enjoyed it!