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poke'glitch girl
February 18th, 2008, 08:02 AM
intro
Flara, a ten year old girl wanted to stop team galactic
from taking over the poke'mon world....Suddenly team rocket,team
aqua, and team galactic have come together,causing..............................


the poke'mon war!!!!!!!!!!!!

TurtleKing
February 18th, 2008, 08:21 AM
intro
Flara, a ten year old girl wanted to stop team galactic
from taking over the poke'mon world....Suddenly team rocket,team
aqua, and team galactic have come together,causing..............................


the poke'mon war!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will be taking ideas from anybody

If you're taking ideas from anybody, it's not necessarily a fic. More like Line Inspiration.

poke'glitch girl
February 18th, 2008, 01:24 PM
Thank you!I shall remember and edit that!
I am very grateful for your advice!

Abolishing Flames
February 18th, 2008, 01:31 PM
You may want to ask for ideas in the Writer's Lounge.

poke'glitch girl
February 18th, 2008, 02:28 PM
CHAPTER I

Flara was walking out of the house to ride her Ponyta
to the war whitch was far to the north from her.
Ponyta had a note on her saddle that said.

dear Flara,

I got Ponyta ready for you.If you and your poke'mon
get hungry,there are poffins and granola bars in
her bags.I sent some max revives and max potions with you too.

we will miss you,
Mom


Flara felt like crying as she got on the horse's back.
She knew that everybody would hear her.

poke'glitch girl
February 18th, 2008, 02:29 PM
I apriciate it dearly, both of you!

TurtleKing
February 18th, 2008, 02:45 PM
I'm sorry to say that this Fic probably won't last long. It's no way where near long enough to be considered a chapter, let alone a prologue.

Avey
February 18th, 2008, 03:39 PM
I'm sorry to say that this Fic probably won't last long. It's no way where near long enough to be considered a chapter, let alone a prologue. And don't forget the fact that this story makes little or no sense and has many grammar issues. I would advise you to read various fan fics and see how you can improve.

Astinus
February 19th, 2008, 10:19 AM
This fanfic does not meet the standards of Pokemon Fanfiction. Your grammar needs improvement. Your length of chapters is exceptionally short. Read other fanfics to see how things are done, and try again.

Description is really needed. What does the world look like? How does Flara feel as she's leaving home? Sure, she's crying, but why? I'm guessing that it's because she's leaving home, but you really didn't make a big deal about that.

What's the history of the world? How long has the war been going on? Why is Flara being sent off to fight in the war? Did she volunteer, was forced, doing it so her old father doesn't have to?

Just some questions to answer and to think about.

And grammar. Grammar is really important. There are guides online to help you out, or you could find a beta reader to read over your fic and help you improve before you post.