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icomeanon6
February 19th, 2008, 08:42 PM
Before you start reading: This is an incomplete chapter fic I started when I was fourteen and had just joined the site. I was just getting back into Pokemon, and my lack of basic canon knowledge kind of shows (also my lack of writing prowess). Anyway, just know going in that the adherence to canon is little, the science is laughable, the prose is uninspired, the chapters are too short, and it isn't going to be finished. I may reboot it some day with more prior planning and attention to detail, but don't hold your breath. So, enjoy? :P

ages 13 and up

Kanto: The Disputed Frontier

Contents:

Book One: Getting Established

1. The Unintended Massacre
2. The Perplexing Autopsy
3. The Endangered Island
4. Capture and Research
5. Confrontation
6. A Consequential Decision
7. Hunter in the Dark
8. A Less than Cordial Debate
9. A Change of Opinion

Book Two: A Natural Mystery

1. The Young Explorers' Exposition
2. An Apparently Dead Issue
3. An Improbable Meeting
4. An Impossible Vision
5. And thus I Am

*****



Book One
Getting Established


1: The Unintended Massacre

The spinning blades fell closer to the water, sending ripples and disturbing the previous tranquility. In the mere action of moving air the helicopter was creating a consequence. While it was an insignificant one, it could easily be seen as the waves spread further. Sean Crowe observed this from his seat in the helicopter, and thought about what consequences might come from the other function the helicopter was performing. This other function would inevitably cause a greater effect, for on this particular mission Crowe was clearing an island for human habitation, and he was doing it with napalm. He could not possibly imagine the consequences that would ensue.

The flame resistant chopper landed on a mostly unaffected beach, and Crowe got out to commence with his surveying. The special suit surrounding his body was uncomfortable to say the least, but Crowe was a practical man and was thus only concerned with whether the thing would turn out to work or not. A voice came from his built-in radio. "How are the conditions so far?" It was that annoying guy from the UN, and Crowe winced at the sound of his voice.

"They're good. The flames have caught, and the trees are falling quickly. I'm going to proceed to the hill and take a bio-scan."

"The airborne scan we took last week confirmed that the native tribes of last century are already gone."

"There's more to biology than people, I want to make sure we don't have any surviving critters."

"If you insist."

Crowe walked up to the nearest hill, stepping over a few burning, partially decomposed trees. He couldn't stand the UN and their insistence on expanding the population to islands instead of the Moon or Mars. He really couldn't stand how they took no efforts to let the indigenous life on these islands remain. They insisted on immediately progressing to a dense urban environment instead of just settling. In short, Crowe hated the UN. This was regarded as odd by some, because he (officially speaking) worked for them. He reached the top of the hill, and sure enough, the rest of the island was either in flames or reduced to embers. He took out his scope, and surveyed the landscape. Sure enough, no signal. He was about to put the device away when there was a flash of white on the screen. He zoomed in to the signal, and saw a most peculiar sight that almost took his breath away. A small group of mammals were crowding on a rock, most of them already burned to a degree. The encroaching flames soon devoured them. Crowe looked at the data printout, and found that the animals were both unidentifiable visually and electronically. He scanned the rest of the island for more of them, and found a group closer to his hill. They would soon be engulfed, and he started off towards them. As he was walking, he adjusted a control panel on his suit’s arm. First he disconnected a wire in a port labeled "Audio out 1" and connected it to "Audio out 2." He heard on his radio, "Crowe, our radar confirms that you are moving; have you spotted something important?"

Crowe didn't hear anything from the communicator after that because he moved another wire from "Audio in 1" to "Audio in 2." He spoke to his radio, "Hey guys, I think I might have found something."

The site with the animals drew closer, and he spoke to the radio again, "C'mon, answer! Do you Silph Co. guys think you’re so important that you can’t check the radio once in a while? Trust me, you want to hear this!"

"Hey Sean, what's up?"

"It's about time; I may have found the big thing you guys have been looking for."

He arrived just as most of the animals expired, and found one isolated, still breathing steadily.

"Is it a new species?"

"Definitely. And it's about to become extinct."

He sprayed a substance on it, a flame retardant that would preserve the body.

"Can you get it sealed and off the island?"

"I'm doing it now."

"Excellent, report back when you get the chance."

Crowe reconnected his radio’s wires to their original positions and said, “This is Crowe. Sorry about the silence, I ran into a bit of interference. I was just checking the soil conditions down here, nothing to report. I’m returning to the chopper now.”

He picked up the animal. It was a light pink color, though charred black in spots. Its blue eyes appeared very tired, and it became clear that it would pass away in a second or so. Before Crowe put it in his bag, it gave a soft cry.

Mew.

Light Yagami
February 19th, 2008, 09:04 PM
It was good, and very descriptive.

The only thing is the reference to pokemon as "animals" and "mammals". It's no big deal, and I may just being picky. However other than that it was great.

icomeanon6
February 19th, 2008, 09:17 PM
It was good, and very descriptive.

The only thing is the reference to pokemon as "animals" and "mammals". It's no big deal, and I may just being picky. However other than that it was great.
Thank you. BTW, the usage of "animals" and "mammals" was intentional.

IceDragon2439
February 20th, 2008, 12:37 PM
This was great. I really enjoyed reading this one. It was decriptive and I visualized the story. I didn't see any errors but I may look back at it. I'm just a little busy at the moment. Keep up the good work and I can't wait for more.

icomeanon6
February 20th, 2008, 07:20 PM
2: The Perplexing Autopsy

There was a myriad of various sounds in the old warehouse, bombarding Crowe’s ears. The collected noise acted as a mockery of a symphony. Each metallic instrument maintained its own rhythm and purpose, and only achieved an overarching goal because of the other intstruments around it. This place was a true cacophony of productivity, and it was also the only building of Silph, a bioengineering company with a strong presence in the field of quantum storage. Crowe walked into the bare room just past the main gate, and heard the echo of his footsteps contribute to the auditory collective.

Crowe thought briefly about the more important members of Silph; there was the founder Jack Norwood, who was mainly concerned with advancing the application biology in industry. There was also Emma Henderson, who was called an environmental radical by some. Jack and Emma would be considered executives if there were enough employees at Silph for that title to mean much; as it were they were like player-coaches. The lower workers at Silph were interested in restoring the national sovereignty of their various home countries, and mostly joined because Silph had a reputation for underminging the UN’s regulations. These members together formed, metaphorically speaking, another cacophonous symphony. They worked as individuals towards their own goals and only seemed to move each other because they were all working in the same place. Perhaps it was this subtle link to their building that let them make do with such a wretched place.

Crowe was brought back to reality when he noticed Jack Norwood approaching him. The leader of the company inquired, “Do you have it with you?” The two had been friends for a long time, but that had no bearing on Crowe’s decision to do undercover work for Silph. Unlike the actual workers of the company, he was only concerned with making a living, and there were limited opportunities for a bio-specialist in that day and age.

“Yeah, it’s in this bag. Before I open it, do you have an air freshener handy?”

“It’s dead, huh? No matter, we just need the proof that its death was significant. Let’s head to the surgical room.”

They went to a rusted metal door, and Jack pulled an equally rusted lever next to it. There was a series of grinding clinks and clanks, and when it ended they knew the door was safe to open. It was a poor makeshift elevator, but Silph’s policy of “spare-every-expense” wouldn’t allow for a proper one. The real problem with this company was that they didn’t actually sell anything. Most of the money they had was what Jack inherited from his family, and he had used all that to buy the equipment needed for researching quantum physics. Their warehouse was acquired through some contacts that Jack had in a bank. This bank had seized the building from its original owner, and lost little in letting Silph have it. Through some free materials and engineering work provided by some more contacts of Jack’s, the entire warehouse was converted to a geothermal tap to provide free power for their operation. This operation was researching and biding their time. This whole facade was made possible by yet another contact of Jack’s, who occasionally “misappropriated” some UN funds to pay the employees' modest salaries.

The elevator slowly but surely reached a floor several stories below the surface. Crowe braced himself as Jack opened the door, letting in a waft of cold air. They walked on the dimly lit steel pathway, and paid no heed to how the walls were mostly soil, with cut ends of tree roots sticking out to try and trip a passerby. It wasn’t long before they came to a room that Jack had been itching to use.

*****

“Pass that scalpel over here.”

It looked like an ordinary surgical table, surrounded by doctors in sterile attire. The animal found by Crowe was laid on its back, its blue eyes now closed. Jack placed his blade gently against the sternum, and made a practiced incision down the abdomen. The skin and muscle was carefully pulled back, revealing a world of mysteries inside.

“The organs appear intact, but the blood’s all dried up. I’m going to have to chip it off to look further.”

Emma Henderson, who was also participating in this procedure, replied in her perpetually calm voice, “I’ve got a sterile bag here. We should store it for testing later.”

Crowe watched as the animal's operation continued. He did not feel any remorse for having killed all the other members of its species, for he was not sentimental in any definition of the word. While he considered animals important and concerned himself greatly with them, he never made the mistake of personifying them. He could see no reason as to why this one should be treated any differently. He looked at what he could see of the thing’s skeleton, and became curious about something. “Is it OK if I take a quick bio-scan? I want to examine its bone structure.”

Jack said cordially, “Feel free.”

Crowe moved his little instrument over the table, going slowly in order to get as detailed a reading as possible. He then connected the device to a nearby computer, tapped a few keys, and waited for the analysis to load.

“Oh my God…”

Jack took on a look of extreme concern and asked, “What is it?”

“This thing might not even be a carbon based life form.”

Emma replied, skeptically, “What are you talking about? Let me see.”

She walked over to the screen, and saw that Crowe was right. Only the skeleton and blood registered as organic matter, the rest was completely unidentified. “Give me a piece of its skin. I want to run some tests of my own.”

*****

It turned out that Crowe’s statement was slightly farther from the truth than they had first anticipated, for it was carbon based. However, it operated differently on a molecular level when compared to any other being they had seen. For one thing, The DNA was in the form of a single helix as opposed to two. And, every carbon atom in its body had twice the normal number of electrons, yet still bonded normally.

“That’s impossible. You misinterpreted the data.”

If Emma was annoyed at Crowe’s quick rebuke, she didn’t show it. “I can assure you, it’s correct. I only took the same test five times and reanalyzed the data five times for each test.”

“But, an atom only becomes stable when it has eight or zero electrons in its valence level. It can’t have sixteen and stay together.”

“If you don’t believe me, you should run the test yourself. I guarantee you’ll find the same thing.”

Jack decided to intervene, “So, according to your data, are the atoms carbon or not?”

“They are carbon by definition because they contain six protons. They’re carbon ions, but unlike any that anyone has ever seen.”

There was a long silence, which Jack ended by saying, “This is more than I ever could have hoped for. We can finally show those stuck-up UN jerks that there’s still reason to fund the science of life. I think it’s clear what we have to do now. As I’m sure you know, Sean, there’s another, larger island close to the one you found this guy on. It's close enough that species similar to this one could inhabit it. If I can pull the right strings, we can probably get the UN to fund a research base we can establish there.”

“That won’t be happening,” Crowe replied coldly. Emma looked up at his eyes, as if dreading something.

“The UN already passed a bill. I’m going to be burning the place in six months.”

Emma’s head slowly fell away from Crowe’s and went towards their subject. She then lowered it again, staring at the floor. Crowe thought he saw her eyes water and dry quickly, as if guarding a weakness of which no one must ever know.

“I see,” were the words that came from Jack’s mouth, “That throws a wrench into things. I might be able to get around it, but it’ll take every string within my grasp. And even then it’ll be a long shot. Well, all I can say is this: If you two want to stay with me and my cause on this, and keep all your work from having been in vain, you’ll do what I’m about to tell you. Pack your things, and get ready for a long trip.”

icomeanon6
March 3rd, 2008, 05:49 PM
3: The Endangered Island

The ripples returned to Crowe’s perception, only this time they were closer, more real. And they were not in concentric circles; they pushed out from the side of the boat, leaving a trail of disturbance getting larger as the vessel continued. He wondered if he would have the same devastating effect on this area as the last one, or if this time the land would not be wasted so. It would all depend on Jack, and whether he could find the right political levers to push. Crowe found it hard to concentrate on all of this, for the saline breeze around him was such a comfort. The ocean wind was enjoyed even more by Captain John Pallet, who approached Crowe with a concerned look on his face.

“We need to talk.”

Pallet was an experienced sailor, and was in charge of transporting this little expedition. Crowe hadn’t known him for very long, but he already respected him a great deal. He was a hardy man, over fifty but still as tough as they come. Crowe asked what they needed to talk about.

“If you don’t already know, then we have a bigger problem with crew dynamics than I thought.”

“Am I not getting along with someone?”

“It’s Dr. Henderson. She seems worried about some of the cargo you’re taking.”

“What cargo would that be?”

“Don’t play dumb, doc. False ignorance puts you so much out of character that you stick out like a sore thumb. I’m talking about that fire suit you don on occasion. I was under the impression that you were a part of my crew so you could save that island.”

“That’s my intention, yes.”

“Then why bring the damned thing?”

“It’s like this, Pallet. I’m out here to make a living, and I can either do it with Silph or with the UN. If Silph pulls through, I’m going to have a great job secured and be set for life. But if Silph blows it, I’m not about to fall to rock bottom by dropping my job with the ‘United Nutcases.’ I’ve got too much to lose to not keep that suit handy, but you can rest assured that I’ll give it all I’ve got to keep this crew on that island for the next half year.”

“I’ll trust you, Crowe, but you should talk to Dr. Henderson about this. I don’t want your antics to throw off my ship’s balance, y’hear?”

“Right.”

To put it bluntly, Crowe didn’t talk to Emma. He almost did a few times, but he never really got around to it. Maybe it was because she kept avoiding his gaze, or maybe he didn’t want to risk saying something that would only make her angrier. At any rate, he had to forget about it as they drew within of day of their destination. The crew, consisting of some thirty people, had to make sure that they could get off the boat and transport all of their equipment to the island as quickly as possible. They were making a close shave with the deadline that Norwood had given them, and the plan would not work if they had not lived on the island for a certain amount of time.

The day came at last, and everything was packed into motorboats. The colonists themselves went in rowboats, mostly because Norwood couldn’t get any more motorboats. The night before, the crew had all met together, and discussed what they would call this new land of theirs. One member of Silph by the name of Kensuke Ishida came up with an interesting idea for the name of the island itself. Around a decade before these events, a region in Japan called Kanto was nearly destroyed by a napalm attack from warring China, only to be saved at the last minute by a small but determined air force squadron. The parallels to the current situation, while obvious, were powerful, and the name Kanto was agreed on. However, they could not decide on what they would call the settlement they were to establish. Captain Pallet had an interesting idea, the leader of whichever rowboat reached the island first would achieve naming rights. This made quite a bit of fun the next day, as the adults laughed like children and sent catcalls back and forth during the race. As could have been predicted, Pallet’s boat won thanks to his expertise in instruction. Thus there was no objection when he christened their settlement Pallet Town.

*****

There was no real beach for them to land on, just a steep incline of rocks leading up to a grassy field. They started their colony on this field, cutting down the grass to a more workable height. Before they did this, they blew several horns, and heard many hidden animals scatter. They pitched several tents on wooden platforms, the tents being made of a highly durable material. Every member of the crew worked at this, save for three women who were carrying unborn children. They came because Norwood insisted on the importance of having children be born on the island. They would stay in more comfortable tents, which were set up by their husbands. Emma and Crowe were working on the scientific lab, which was merely a larger tent for storing more expensive items. After all structures were assembled, everyone returned to the boats to pick up their belongings and other equipment. Emma looked with shock as Crowe casually took his fire suit to his tent. “How can your conscience allow you to bring that thing?”

“Easily, I just remind myself that animals aren’t people.”

“They still have feelings, and I don’t see how their not being people excuses genocide!”

“Do you think I enjoy burning entire islands and everything on them? Well, I don’t. I can’t stand it, and I only do it because there’s no other job in the world I can take.”

“You could work for Jack, he needs people like you!”

“I intend to work for Jack as soon as Silph gets in a position to pay me a salary. I’ve looked at the records. You guys couldn’t have one more employee without sending all of you under the minimum wage. If this scheme pays off, I’ll join for good, and toss this suit in the garbage. If it doesn’t, I’m not giving up my life for the sake of some animals that no one except you will miss.”

At this, Emma walked off angrily, and Crowe couldn’t help but feel that he could have handled that better. He didn’t know how sociable people survived, there were so many vague rules that they had to follow so strictly.

That night, Crowe was hard at work getting all of their equipment in the lab running. There were some strange devices in a box that Norwood had marked 'fragile,' and they came with a note.

Sean,

The items in this box may greatly assist you; they’re the prototypes of the concepts in quantum storage I’ve been developing. They should be able to contain any organic matter of any size with little effort or electrical power. The units for storage are small spheres with one circular port on the front. Its interface device is shaped like a gun and has cartridge slots for both a sphere and a one-shot battery. The gun can be used to capture wildlife and release it later. The batteries are rechargeable with the solar adapter that’s included.

Have fun with it!

—Jack

Crowe reached in the box and picked up one of the spheres, it was white and about the size of a baseball. He turned it over in his hand, unaware of how important it would one day become. Meanwhile, in the tall grass to the north a new anomaly laid in the shadows, waiting and watching the newcomers.

icomeanon6
April 26th, 2008, 11:27 AM
[I would have posted about a month ago, but a major school project came up and I had to forget about this for a while. Please comment, I'd like to know if you think the story's headed in the right direction!]

4: Capture and Research

The silence around Crowe seemed to act as an amplifier, sharpening the tension of his situation. The butt of the converted rifle he got from Jack was flush against his shoulder, and the stock was supporting his cheek. The tree he was sitting in provided shade, but that did not stop the sweat from crawling down his forehead. He had been spending the last two minutes taking aim at an oversized rat. It was a deep purple in color on top, and was bleached white on the bottom. Its long tail curled at the end, and its teeth looked like they could inflict a serious wound. Crowe wondered why its outrageous color scheme had not been weeded out of the gene pool long ago by natural selection, but he set that thought aside and focused only on capturing it. When he was positive that the cross hairs met the thing perfectly, he pulled the trigger. The gun's battery flashed like a camera’s bulb, and a beam of red light shot forth from the barrel, striking the rat with unexpected precision. The light seemed to envelop the creature, and it minimized. When it had completely disappeared, Crowe lowered the gun. He looked at the containing ball, and found that the top half was now lit red. He assumed that this meant the thing was caught, and removed the ball from its slot. He then climbed down the tree and returned to the lab.

The rat-like animal was sleeping in a cage, apparently not too bothered by the sudden change in its environment. It was getting to be late evening, and Crowe was ready to call it quits. He had been studying the rat’s gene sequence, and had been noting similarities between it and the sequence of the now extinct animal he had found not too long ago. Scientifically, neither of the two animals had a name, seeing as there was no real way for them to be classified. The temporary name “Mew” had been given to the first one Crowe had found, though Emma found it disturbing that it be named after its dying noise. Crowe was wondering what they should name the rat when Emma suddenly came into the tent. “Has it made a good transition?”

Crowe waited a few seconds to reply, keeping his eyes on his work, “Yeah, it’s been pretty quiet. But here, take a look at this.”

Emma walked over to Crowe’s table, and looked at the notes he was taking. “Single helix, just like Mew.”

“And that’s not all, from what I can tell, this guy’s gene sequence is the entirety of Mew’s plus a little extra. Look, the first 99.998% is exactly the same.”

“That has to be a mistake.”

“I’ll run the test again tomorrow.”

*****

The tests that Crowe took several times early the next day confirmed one thing—it was not a mistake. The rat was literally Mew plus a little extra. On that same day, Crowe also managed to capture another animal, a bird around the size of an owl but physically more similar to a pigeon. Specifically, it was one foot high, brown in color, and had a beak best suited to eating insects. The DNA test Crowe took showed that this bird shared the rat's similarity to Mew. It had Mew’s complete genetic code, but also a section afterwards modifying what had previously been defined. Its DNA was also in the telltale single helix. Crowe found something slightly unnerving about the bird, which Emma had affectionately named “Pidgey.” This unnerving trait was that it would keep a constant stare pointed at him, as if fascinated by whatever it was he was working on. Emma’s explanation for this anomalous behavior was that perhaps Pidgey was a bit fond of Crowe; however he silently dismissed this theory on the grounds that no animal in the world had any genuine feelings.

That evening, Crowe ran a new experiment. It had long been accepted that early life began in the primordial soup, a liquid containing the main ingredients for a cell. Crowe was reversing a small flesh sample from Pidgey (retrieved in a completely humane way, of course) to try and create something similar to the primordial soup. This method was the most efficient way known of finding out the basic composition of a particular cell. When the sample was prepared, Crowe began to run various tests. He found nothing particularly interesting until the conductivity test. While it was apparent that current was flowing from the positive terminal, nothing was being received on the other end. This put Crowe unreasonably ill at ease, and he inspected the negative terminal to try and spot any obvious problems. Not seeing anything, he decided it would be safest to remove the tips of the wires. He stared at the stuff for about a minute with a concerned look on his face, and finally picked up a generic metal probe. He moved the steel tip slowly towards the sample, his hand shaking with an instinctive fear of the unknown. When the probe finally came within a few millimeters of the soup, Crowe felt a prick of electricity as the tool acted as a wire for the newly formed liquid battery. He dropped it quickly, breathing heavily from surprise. He turned his gaze quickly to Pidgey, who was apparently startled by his reaction. It was at that moment that he heard a faint call on his hand radio. “Dr. Crowe…Are you there?”

It was one of the lesser Silph workers. Crowe, being eager for an opportunity to get his mind off of Pidgey’s possible electrical property, picked up the radio quickly. “Yeah, need something?”

“Keep your voice down…we’re observing the first interaction we’ve seen between two different species.”

“What are they? And what are they doing?”

“One of them appears to be one of the rats you captured earlier, and the other looks like some sort of bipedal lizard, but there’s something you should know about it.”

“What?”

“The lizard’s tail appears to be on fire.”

“Don’t put it out; we want as little outside intervention as possible.”

“You don’t understand, let me finish. The lizard hardly seems to notice the flame, in fact, it’s almost like the fire’s supposed to be there!”

“I’ll be right over.”

bobandbill
April 28th, 2008, 11:48 PM
One feels this fic needs more attention - as it makes for quite an interesting read.

Overall it is very well written - the concept in quite different and intriguing - and well thought out and delivered thus far. Haven't really read that many fics set 'in the real world', so to speak, with a different UN to the one we normally know, and with Pokemon seemingly undiscovered until now.
Description is decent, and the pacing is steady as well, but I fell the plot and the various ideas having to do with it are the highlight of your work thus far.

Now some critique, as I often have the sort- most of it is minor however. :) Although the events you give usually happen at a ncie steady pace, sometimes it jumps ahead a bit with a lack of occurances inbetween. For instance, a part from the last chapter:

He looked at the containing ball, and found that the top half was now lit red. [FONT=' mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma]He assumed that this meant the thing was caught, and removed the ball from its slot. He then climbed down the tree and returned to the lab.
The rat-like animal was sleeping in a cage, apparently not too bothered by the sudden change in its environmentIn the first part, you have had the Rattata (yet named) into the 'Pokeball of sorts', and when Crowe returns, the rat is already in the cage. That's one minor sort of a 'jump' that you do - another is the paragraph that starts off talking about Crowe'snot talking to Emma, and so forth - a few events start to jump out suddenly in a time-leap, instead of occuring smoothly one after the other.

Also, with paragraphs, you can shorten up a far few of them - chop them up and separate into smaller paragraphs, as it does get a bit hard to read the longer ones. Stories on the internet are harder to read than books.

To put it short, Crowe hated the UN. This was regarded as odd by some, because he (officially speaking) worked for them.
'To put it short' does work, but better is 'to put in shortly', or 'in short'.
Suggest a comma after 'he' and the closing bracket for a slight pause - there are a few (but not manny) instances in which your fic could use a comma to make a pause.
"Excellent, report back when you get the chance."

Crowe reconnected his radio’s wires to their original positions and said, “This is Crowe. Sorry about the silence, I ran into a bit of interference.
Another small occurance of the 'jump ahead' - could have mentioned that he signed off with his conversation with Silph, or have a tad more 'padded' part about him changing the wires after signing off or something - minor however. That part did move a tad quicker than the surrounding parts though.
“That won’t be happening,” Crowe replied coldly. Emma looked up at his eyes, as if dreading something.

“The UN already passed a bill. I’m going to be burning the place in six months.”
Bugger. Like the whole dilemma developing, and the plan that follows - you have a really strong plot.
The crew, consisting of some 30 people, had to make sure that they could get off the boat and transport all of their equipment to the island as quickly as possible. Also minor, but with numbers, you write out any that are less than a hundred (e.g. thrity over 30).
There were some strange devices in a box that Norwood had marked “fragile,” and they came with a note. With signs and the such, refrain from using quotation marks as they are for dialogue rather than signs - do something like this for instance - 'sign message'.
He had been spending the last two minutes taking aim at an over sized rat. Oversized as one word, rather than two.

Not much wrong with it at all though - overall you have a pretty good story going there, that is more or less solid and with a well executed plot - mostly just make sure not to have those small time jumps, and no large paragraphs that go for ten lines for presentation - two half of that size is fine. Keep it up!

icomeanon6
April 29th, 2008, 03:09 PM
Thanks for the advice, it'll really come in handy when I write the next chapter, which should be in around a week or less.

Alright, 301 views!

Red1530
April 29th, 2008, 06:28 PM
It is a great story so far and I like how you made the UN an evil organization instead of the incompetent one we know.

icomeanon6
May 4th, 2008, 11:24 AM
5: Confrontation

Crowe quickly turned off his radio and grabbed the containment gun, having completely forgotten about what he was doing earlier. He ran from the tent, being as fast and quiet as possible. There was some adrenaline unlike any that he had experienced in years flowing through his veins, making it even harder for him to remain composed. When he reached the tall grass, he bent down to limit his visibility, and set out to find his companions and the new life form. It wasn’t long until he found them, and saw the lizard that had been described to him. Its tail did indeed have a steady flame flowing from it, which seemed appropriate for an animal colored a deep shade of crimson.

In the call, Crowe had been informed that this lizard was interacting with one of the rats, but by this point there was hardly any rat left for the lizard to interact with. It was a gruesome spectacle, but Crowe was used to seeing this kind of predator-prey relationship in nature. One thing he did find slightly disturbing was how the deceased rat’s blood blended in with the lizard’s skin tone. However, Crowe was still fascinated with the sight in general. This lizard was reminiscent of the dinosaurs; it stood on two legs and had the same ferocious look in its eyes. There was no chance that Crowe would just let it get away.

Crowe gave a silent signal to one of his comrades, and loaded a white ball into the gun. Then he raised it to the firing position, and took aim. He had to take more haste this time; he didn’t know when the lizard would decide to leave its meal. Crowe found his hands shaky, and had trouble getting the crosshairs to line up. And then he was struck with a greater sense of urgency as the lizard apparently started to leave. Gathering all of his concentration, he lined up the gun, and fired.

The red light shot forth and struck the lizard perfectly, covering its entire body. However, this time it was different. It began to minimize, but the process was slow, and unsteady. Just when it looked like it would be caught permanently, it became large again and the light disappeared. The lizard let out a terrible and angry roar, turned on its heels, and charged at the first person it saw. This person was the Silph worker who had called Crowe over, and he was tackled to the ground with hardly a struggle.

Crowe heard a painful cry as the lizard bit into the worker’s shoulder, and then he decided to do something that he might regret later. He removed from his jacket pocket a certain object that he hadn’t dared to show anyone. He knew that most of them would tolerate the fire suit, but he didn’t trust them to allow him to bring a pistol. The small gun was already loaded, so all Crowe had to do was flip off the safety and fire. There was a sharp exploding noise, and Crowe felt the kick from the gun jostle his unsteady hand. The shot grazed the lizard’s back, drawing some blood but not disabling it in any way.

The creature roared again and began to charge straight towards Crowe. He continued to shoot, firing four times and missing each one as the thing drew closer. Just as it dived for his neck, Crowe agilely stepped aside. He turned around and found the thing charging at him again. He raised his leg, and delivered a kick to its chest as it jumped at him. Unfortunately, the recoil sent him falling as well. He started to get up as quickly as he could, but the lizard proved to be faster. It tackled Crowe to the ground, and would have bitten his neck if he hadn’t grabbed its own. As long as his arm remained fully extended he had the range to prevent the lizard from using its jaws or claws, but he was tiring quickly. His arm began to quake. Sweat rolled down his forehead. The gun was still in his other hand, and he slowly prepared to use his final shot. He had to be sure to get it right, but his hand was far too unreliable for accuracy. It was a now or never situation. He did not question his morality, only whether he could be sure to kill it. In that final instant, Crowe made the decision to fire.

He didn’t need to. One of the Silph workers pacified the lizard by falling on it with a chain-linked net, and succeeded in knocking it off of Crowe. The net only covered most of the tail, but almost seemed to snuff its flame. The lizard gave a shrill cry, more in shock than in anger. It quickly retracted its tail and ran off into the woods. Crowe slowly stood up, panting hard and aching all over. He had trouble getting his eyes to focus, but when he did he instinctively surveyed the scene around him. Two Silph members were carrying off the one who was injured, and several others were rushing over to see what had happened. Among them was Emma, who ran to Crowe to see if he was OK. Before she asked him, she noticed the pistol in his hand, and stopped instantly. Crowe wanted to say something, maybe just an excuse. He couldn’t. There was a silence. He was exhausted, and she was struck dumb by the idea of Crowe trying to kill an animal that they were meant to be researching. The silence lasted much longer than Crowe hoped it would, and it was only ended when Pallet informed him that Norwood was on the radio. Crowe rushed off, eager to get his mind off of what had possibly been the most awkward moment of his entire life.

bobandbill
May 4th, 2008, 09:41 PM
Ok, first thing first - don't upsize the font, it doesn't quite help either, and makes paragraphs seem even larger.

Overall, ok there - interesting events, and indeed an awkard stituation for Crowe after the battle. :) The 'battle' was done well, but I would have liked to have seen some more reactions of Crowe and the other people there. And Crowe didn't seem all that affect by the battle after it ran off...

Also - the sentence length here was rather similar all of a sudden, making it feel like a list, albeilt detailed. Mix it up more - some longer or shorter sentences in places, like you did in other chapters, to break it up every so often.

Still, not bad - a little short and quick, but all right. Keep it up!

And one other thing I need to quote by someone else:
It is a great story so far and I like how you made the UN an evil organization instead of the incompetent one we know.
WIN! :)

Red1530
May 5th, 2008, 11:10 AM
I have to agree with bobandbill with his view of the chapter. However I found nothing wrong with the font. Also thank you bobandbill for quoting me with regards to my UN comments.

Mistress Darkrai
May 5th, 2008, 02:59 PM
The first chapter is wicked good! No insults or anything on that line! Hopefully you become an awesome author, icomeanon6! :)

Post Office Buddy
May 8th, 2008, 07:27 PM
Well, you asked me to review this, but there was nothing I could really find that was wrong. It seems that you smoothed down the chapters quite a bit before posting them, or edited them after posting. Either way, nice job. I'll take a look at the next chapter that you post.

icomeanon6
May 17th, 2008, 08:51 AM
6: A Consequential Decision

Crowe entered the encampment that he had come to call a town, and didn’t seem to notice the stares that he gathered. Everything was in a haze, his mind was simply an amalgamation of distracting emotions and thoughts, and he almost forgot that he was supposed to be heading to the communications tent. He completely forgot that he was still holding the firearm. By this point almost everyone in the crew knew of his previously well guarded secret. Around five seconds before he realized it, he arrived at the tent where Norwood was waiting to speak with him. As he walked in he stopped suddenly, and stared at the radio. Logic told him that it was just an object, and nothing that he should be personifying. However, his mind’s eye told him that it was a person, that it was Norwood sitting in the corner, with an atmosphere of frustration and disappointment hanging about him. And sure enough, when Crowe put on the headset, words of that exact mood came forth.

“Why don’t you take a few deep breaths and tell me what the hell you’ve been doing over there?”

Crowe stared at the radio, and saw Norwood more clearly. Somehow, he knew exactly what his partner and friend must have looked like at that moment. He could tell that Norwood had a cross face, with brows at a slight angle. And yet, it didn’t convey anger as much as it did a feeling that Crowe had let him down.

“Well, there was a sighting of a reptile on the border of the forest…”

“I heard about that. Tell me about what you did. Pallet mentioned that he heard gunfire.”

He already knew. Crowe had to recognize that Norwood was too smart to not already know. Crowe made his response with heavy pauses between sentences, weighed down by the shame he felt.

“I failed to capture it with the equipment you sent me. It went into a rage and attacked one of your guys. I think his name was Rivera, but I’m not sure. I took out a pistol that I had smuggled, and shot at it. It wasn’t seriously injured and retreated into the woods after I struggled with it.”

Norwood waited a few seconds before responding, as if to give Crowe time to think more carefully about his words and actions.

“I see.”

There was another pause that made Crowe feel even worse. He felt like a child who had just been found out for committing some forbidden action at home or school and was explaining himself to an adult. He felt even worse because of how calm and quiet Norwood was being. Crowe wasn’t sure if he was supposed to say something else, but fortunately Norwood did.

“Why did you bring it?”

“I brought it for that exact kind of situation. I made a promise to myself early on. I said that if I ever had to make a decision between an animal and a human, I’d have no trouble making it.”

“Were you shooting to kill?”

“I don’t remember. It was too fast. It was almost instinctive.”

Crowe heard Norwood let out a low and long sigh, which he followed with a response.
“Go lie down for a few hours. We’ll discuss later what to do.”

*****

Five hours had past, and Crowe was standing at the edge of the ocean. He was observing at just the right time for the sun to hit the horizon in such a way as to light the sky on fire. Beams of color painted the surroundings in the most brilliant of tones, which gave Crowe an excuse to be distracted if only for a while. He, Norwood, and Pallet had made the decision, and Crowe had to begin carrying it out in a few minutes. He heard footsteps coming from behind, the light pacing told him that they probably came from a female. He had a guess as to whose they were, but he didn’t want to admit it. However, when the footsteps stopped and a voice replaced them, he had to face his suspicion.

“I…wanted to apologize for the misunderstanding earlier. I don’t think you were at fault for bringing a gun.”

Crowe was surprised to hear Emma say words of that kind. Of all people, Dr. Emma Henderson was the one whom Crowe would have expected to take the reptile’s side. He thought she would be angry at how he had brought such a weapon, and that she would scold him for bringing an object that implied intent to kill the animals that he was researching.

“In that case, why were you so upset about the fire suit?”

The calm sound of the waves made the tone of this conversation seem lighter than the one Crowe had with Norwood earlier. Emma took a few steps closer to Crowe, and stood beside him.

“I'm not upset about the pistol because you attacked that animal to save Rivera. I understand that sometimes you need to remove individual beings for the sake of something more important. The suit is different. You brought it for yourself only. With the gun, you could remove a problem. With the suit, you could do nothing but destroy everything that we are trying to do here.”

“So, you’re telling me that I’m being selfish.”

“Well…yes. I guess I am.”

Crowe looked at Emma, and their eyes met. Her eyes seemed deep with understanding, as if she wanted to help. Crowe was unused to seeing her like this; he was always of the impression that she cared about animals and nothing else. And yet, it seemed at that moment that she cared about him, too. Crowe wanted to find something personal to say to her, but he couldn’t.

“I have to go.”

He picked up the backpack that had been resting at his feet, slung it and the capturing gun over his shoulder, put a containing ball in his pocket, and started to walk off. The way eastward was dark, in sharp contrast with the fading but still beautiful light behind him. When he was about 10 yards away, Emma spoke again.

“Goodbye.”

Crowe did not know how to interpret her speech. Was she being speaking to him as a friend, or was she implying that she didn’t think he would ever return? Was it rather a combination of both? Crowe couldn’t decide, and didn’t want to ask.

*****

In a matter of minutes, Crowe reached the edge of the forest. He found some footsteps that the reptile had taken, as well as the blood stained in them. He took out a device from his bag, and used it to scan the footstep and take a sample of the life-bearing liquid. This device was of Norwood’s design, and was the only one of its kind. It could track almost any being with almost no chance of inaccuracy. Crowe looked at the readout, analyzed it, and took the course into the forest that it described. He had promised Norwood that he would amend his mistake, and he had promised himself not to come out of the woods without the same reptile captured.

Acrutheo
May 19th, 2008, 07:32 PM
I enjoy this story - I really do. It's a great concept for the world of pokemon to meet our world in the future. One thing I can suggest to make it better is only indirectly related to the story - make the table of contents link to your posts of those chapters. XD;

Also, the story is a little weak on imagery, I think. It's not that we don't know what's there, as you do explicitly tell us, but it's a case of showing vs. telling: more imagery could definitely help this story.

But still, a novel (this is what I want to say, but after watching Yes Minister it seems like an insult, which is not my intention XD) concept and a great read. Keep it up. ^_^

Taylor5
May 20th, 2008, 02:17 PM
Your fanfic is awsome. :]

q2r5o900
May 21st, 2008, 07:33 AM
gosh that was cool and long it was very entertaining

Red1530
June 3rd, 2008, 03:44 PM
I just read the latest chapter and was impressed by it.

icomeanon6
June 22nd, 2008, 06:50 PM
Well, the school year's over, and I've now found the time to get back on track with this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter. As always, comments/criticism will be appreciated.

7: Hunter in the Dark

As the final beams of the setting sun dispersed quickly in the dense forest, Crowe silently questioned the wisdom of pursuing this creature in the nighttime. Yet he knew that it had to be done, waiting until morning might have given the reptile just enough time to recover and travel far enough so that it could not be found. The sun had now vanished, leaving only a meager amount of light still bouncing off the features of the forest. This light lost all of its strength in a matter of minutes, forcing Crowe to remove and use a small flashlight.

The silence of the woods drew unwanted attention to the relative noisiness of Crowe’s footsteps. Crowe was struck with the uneasy feeling that he was being watched. There was undoubtedly an abundance of life around him, in unfamiliar and intriguing forms that Crowe would have liked to study. However, he could focus only on the footsteps in front of him, and the readout of the device that was analyzing them. The small LCD screen of this device was not backlit, so Crowe had to turn his flashlight to it on a regular basis. Fortunately, the device’s input was taken in through infrared rays, so the lack of sunlight was not a problem.

The silence around Crowe was interrupted by a small patter against the deciduous leaves. Several more small taps followed, and collectively increased in frequency and noisiness. Soon Crowe felt the taps landing on the sleeves of his jacket, bringing with them the heaviness and chill that comes with rain. In a matter of minutes the rain progressed to a tropical gale, which Crowe was fortunately used to. He didn’t need to worry about the others back at Pallet Town, but he did worry about how well he would be able to make his way deeper into the woods with the ground so muddy and treacherous. Steps took twice as much effort as usual, and each one bore a greater risk of injury as the winds gained speed and the soil lost its friction.

After another hour of fighting the downpour and following the tracks, some new and unexpected information came to Crowe’s attention. After a few footsteps, tracks that the creature had made several hours ago were replaced by tracks that it had made only fifteen minutes ago. Crowe tried to make something of this. It could be that he was near the reptile’s shelter, but he didn’t think this to be very logical. If this creature permanently lived somewhere with such dense trees, it would frequently set them alight inadvertently. This brought up another question: What was this creature even doing in this sort of ecosystem? Also taking into account the rat of bright purple fur, Crowe had to wonder if the laws of natural selection even applied on this island. If fate had allowed Crowe more time to think about this situation, he might have figured out a biological puzzle that could otherwise go for years unsolved. Unfortunately, this was not the case, for his train of thought was interrupted by a guttural and unnaturally low growl.

Crowe turned on his heel to meet the noise and fell, twisting his right ankle beneath him. It took every last bit of his will power to keep himself from crying out in pain and shock. His flashlight had been dropped, but he didn’t need it so see what he was looking for. A mere fifteen yards in front of him stood a flame which made such sharp contrast with its pitch black surroundings. Any rain that came into contact with it was assimilated into a sizable pillar of steam. A flickering and sudden flash of lightning made visible the source of this flame: A bipedal reptile that stood in such a position as to reveal a bullet-inflicted wound on its back, still bleeding and not forgotten. In that instant of light, Crowe saw the beast’s eyes. They seemed to spark and flame just as violently as its tail, and they revealed just the intent that Crowe feared they would.

A tremendous roar reverberated against the trees and almost shattered Crowe’s eardrums. He heard the beast charge forward, and fumbled with the capturing gun that was still strapped to his back. There was another crack of lightning, and Crowe saw two things, one expected and the other not. He saw the reptile sprinting in his direction with both fangs and claws ready, but he also saw an avian figure diving in front of him, ready to collide with the rapidly approaching beast. The new figure gave a shrill cry and made ready its talons. A mere millisecond after the lightning diffused, a thud signaled to Crowe that his death just might have been delayed.

Crowe reached for his light, and found it miraculously quickly. He aimed it in front of him, and saw the fight between the bird and his target. The reptile was on the ground, furiously trying to bite its opponent, which was scratching at its eyes. Crowe knew that he would only have this opportunity once, and scrambled to get a proper hold on the capturing gun, already armed and ready to fire. He held the flashlight alongside the stock, and raised the butt up to his shoulder. He lined up the crosshairs as best he could, but with the rain and dim light he wasn’t even sure if what the crosshairs told him was accurate. Once again, he was being hesitant. He was paralyzed with the fear of making a mistake and capturing the bird, which would certainly lead to his own demise. But just then there was enough of a lull in the rain for Crowe to see that the reptile was about to tear the bird’s throat with its claws. A shock vibrated throughout Crowe’s body, and gave him the sudden desperation and courage to pull the trigger.

The flash from the battery momentarily blinded Crowe, and one of the figures was enveloped in a red light. It slowly but surely minimized with a diminishing cry of complaint. Once the red light had gone, Crowe dropped the gun, and began to breathe again. After several seconds, he heard the small pat of steps approaching him. Instinctively, he grabbed his light and shone it in the noise’s direction. The light hit the bird with much surprise, and caused its bright eyes to squint. Crowe lowered the light slightly, and gradually breathed more steadily. The bird came right next to him, and that was when Crowe noticed the tag on its leg. He was struck with confusion, and slowly half-whispered, “Pidgey?”

Pidgey lifted its head at the sound of its name, all the more confirming Crowe’s supposition. He did not concern himself so much with how Pidgey managed to find him, but wondered instead why it had done so. In all of his many years as a field specialist, he had never encountered anything to suggest this sort of behavior in a feral animal. These past months had done nothing but make him question his previous understanding of the nature of atoms, and of life itself. It was at that moment that he began to wonder if he should call this creature an animal at all. He then noticed a cut on one of its wings, and felt a sensation that he had never felt before: Compassion for something that wasn’t human. He reached out with his hand to touch the wound, and just as he reached it he witnessed a true miracle of nature. Pidgey was lit with a soft glow, and Crowe felt some sort of force run through its veins and reach every cell in its body. He thought he saw Pidgey slowly begin to grow in size, but in his confusion he couldn’t tell if his eyes were just playing tricks on him. His body had grown too tired, and he quickly fell asleep. His sleep was peaceful, for when his hand touched Pidgey’s wing he couldn’t help but feel that everything would be alright.

txteclipse
June 26th, 2008, 09:57 AM
At first I thought this was going to be a Jurassic Park crossover, but I believe I was fairly mistaken. In all honesty, I'm liking this quite a bit. It has almost a Jurassic Park feel, which is in no way bad, and it tries to quantify why Pokemon are the way they are without being lazy and saying "just accept it" (like the games, show, etc.).

Now: you told me in one of my fanfic threads that I should research the science I'm going to include in order to make it believable. You also said that you yourself didn't do so all that well. That being said, don't take what I'm about to say in the wrong way...it's solely for the sake of critiquing.

Single-helix DNA, if I'm not mistaken, would disintegrate immediately if it ever came to exist in the first place. The two strands in all currently-known DNA serve the purpose of literally holding each other together (they form a chemical bond with each other, in effect "gluing" each other together in the process). If the strands actually do split apart, it is to enable the strands to be "read", so-to-speak, allowing the genetic structure to be copied into RNA (another type of genetic acid).

Wordy, I know, and I'm not entirely sure what I'm talking about either, so if you're so inclined you may want to check out this (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DNA). Of special interest are the first section and "Replication" section.

Now: for the carbon with sixteen valence electrons, or C-16 as I will abbreviate. From what I've read, any strain of carbon with 14 or more valence electrons is unstable: exponentially so. This means that C-16 would probably be so unstable as to create a somewhat substantial radioactive pulse immediately after coming into existence (said pulse would obviously then un-make it).

This could conceivably all be worked around with good enough explanations, but those would require a bit of hard-core brainwork (you'd be using physics to define things that don't exist in physics, at least as far as is known). I could help you a bit, I hope, so I'd like to start a PM chain with you if you're so inclined.

By the way: I'm never going to tell you NOT to include these elements, as long as you feel they are necessary. Science is a young field by any stretch of the imagination, and we've hardly begun to scratch the surface. Think of it this way: if science was a gift, humans would just now be figuring out how to cut the ribbon off. There's still a lot we don't know, and an element of mystery is welcome as far as I'm concerned. This is what drives science: not settling for what we currently believe to be "fact".

icomeanon6
July 4th, 2008, 06:49 PM
8: A Less than Cordial Debate

The sound of the footsteps jumped from marble pillar to marble pillar, leading Jack Norwood to wonder why the (as he called them) “hooting blowhards” of the United Nations deserved such extravagant surroundings. The aforementioned footsteps were in fact Jack’s, who had worn the best pair of shoes he could scrounge up on that day. He couldn’t afford to come across as anything but entirely professional, for the UN had him over a barrel. His only hope was that the UN would not be daring enough to eradicate the humans on the isle of Kanto. “Of course,” Jack thought slightly aloud, “they would have to find someone besides Sean to do the job. There’s no way he’d burn an island that had people on it.” Then another thought occurred to Jack, which caused him to worry. What if the research team decided to leave at the first sign of trouble from the UN? “If they were to ditch, Sean definitely wouldn’t have a problem with torching the place.” Then he remembered Emma, whom he knew would not leave the place no matter what. Perhaps everyone else would follow her example.

If the team were to stay on the island, Jack knew he would be in the clear. With all of the connections to the press that Jack had, the UN wouldn’t be able to burn a bunch of researchers alive without a mass uprising. The United States and Russia gave up their national sovereignty with quite a grudge; there’d be no chance that the UN would be able to contain them after committing such an atrocity. The UN may have been the single greatest power on Earth, but they weren’t strong enough to stop the two most influential territories from revolting at the same time. They had achieved their position by isolating individual countries through extremely harsh tariffs and embargoes, by convincing everyone that they stood no chance to survive on their own. It was a bluff, a dangerously good one. All that needed to happen for them to fall apart was enough countries to call their bluff simultaneously, and Jack knew he could make it happen if he could exploit just the wrong move.

Jack was now standing in front of the door to the Senate Chamber, and was suddenly struck with an unpleasant thought. “Then again, what if they decide to kill me first? They could easily kill the team in secret, then.” He decided not to dwell on this prospect too much, and opened the door to the chamber, listening carefully to find the right time to make himself known.

*****

Every desk in the large chamber was filled with a representative from each of the “nations” that comprised the world government. It annoyed Jack greatly that none of these representatives were truly concerned with the interests of the people that they were supposed to be representing. Although they were all natives of their countries, they felt no loyalty to their people. They served only the overarching power, which was what kept them in such a high status. At the moment when Jack stepped inside the door—being careful to not call attention to himself yet—the chairman was listing the items of the day’s agenda. The first item was the finalization of the plans to level Kanto, which made Jack think to himself, “Good, that means I won’t have to listen to any of their other drivel first.”

When all of the agenda had been spoken of, the chairman proceeded to say, “Now, if there are no objections, we shall discuss the final details of the preparation of Pacific region 13d for human population. Could we begin with the chair from the Atlantic United States for the verification of the biologist?”

The representative stood up and took a look at his papers before responding, “My subordinates have informed me that Dr. Sean Crowe has been spending the last six months on the island for some reason. We have had no contact from him, but we have been informed that he took the necessary attire for burning the island with him, which shows that he still intends to cooperate. We will send a message to him informing him of the date that leveling will begin.”

Jack knew that he would have to speak up now, so he took a deep breath and made sure that he was ready to appear as confident as possible. He called out in his well practiced and renowned speaking voice, “Mr. Chairman, that will not be necessary!”

At that moment, every single head in the room turned toward him, and they all recognized him instantly. A tumultuous noise comprised of the Senate’s numerous voices filled the place. Many of the voices were expressing their general discontent of Jack’s presence, and all the others were expressing their downright anger. Comments ranged from “Who allowed him in here?” to “Rot and die, you anarchist!” Jack kept his cool against the scathing words, a skill that had allowed him to get this far in the first place. The Chairman nearly had to maim his gable and wear his throat dry in order to get the peace again, and when he finally did, he addressed Jack directly; a sign that hope was not yet lost. “Dr. Norwood, if you do not leave soon I will be forced to find you in contempt for disrupting this session.”

“Understood, Mr. Chairman. However, I reserve the right make a citizen’s objection informing the Senate of the illegality of their coming decision.”

At this, there was another outburst from the representatives, many were shouting for an objection, and some were angrily asking Jack how he could possibly make that claim. This uproar did not have as much fervor as the previous one, and the Chairman was able to quell it with his gable alone. He spoke again, this time with significantly more annoyance in his voice. “Now Doctor, I’m sure you have some evidence to support this radical claim of yours.”

“Naturally, Mr. Chairman. If I could use the presentation screen…”

Jack walked over to the screen in the front corner of the room with an air of casualness that must have been insulting to the members of the Senate. He plugged a small drive into the wall, and took a laser pointer out from his pocket. “The main problem with the Senate’s plan is that it involves the leveling of an island that currently has a native human population residing on it.”

At this, many of the representatives began muttering worriedly, and searching their papers for some mentioning of this. Jack continued with his distinct air of professionalism, “The researchers from my company, Silph, and another distinguished scientist have been residing on this island for the last six months, and have documented the current state of this native population. If you could direct your attention to the screen here, you can see a photo of the research team and the natives.” An image appeared on the screen, and Jack pointed out certain elements with the laser pointer. “The native population is currently comprised of Mattie, Ari, and Tom, who were all born on the island three weeks ago.”

At this point, absolute bedlam occurred. There was not a single senator who was not on his feet and yelling at the top of his lungs in fury. The Chairman’s gable was completely drowned out, and he had to order his personal guard to fire a blank shot to regain order. He looked at Jack, his eyes revealing how enraged he was at this presentation. “Dr. Norwood, I have put up with these antics of yours for long enough. I shouldn’t have to tell you that these infants are not natives of that island because their parents are citizens of their respective countries.”

“As a matter of fact, they aren’t. These children’s parents dissolved all ties with local, national, and international governments six months ago. They spent twenty three weeks outside of international borders, and received no benefits or protection from any government during that time. By the regulation established during the seventh session of the United Nations Senate during the year 2011, their citizenship was annulled three weeks and one day ago. These children were born exactly three weeks ago. Therefore, they were born without any ties to any nation whatsoever, and are the native and indigenous people of their island.”

Nobody said a word. Many opened their mouths to object, but they couldn’t. They knew that Jack was right, and that there was nothing that they could do about it at that moment. Sweat began to form on the Chairman’s forehead, and he said feebly, “This meeting is adjourned. I ask that those on the committee for the leveling project meet with me and Dr. Norwood in fifteen minutes in my office for further discussion and negotiation.”

*****

The atmosphere in the office was anything but friendly, all eyes glared at Jack as he entered the room. Jack’s eyes scanned the various figures, and he noticed that one had something in his pocket that looked like a gun. Things were indeed as he had feared, but after coming this far he was not planning on simply dying. He reached in his pocket for his cell phone, and said calmly, “If you gentlemen would excuse me for a moment, I need to make a call.” He dialed a series of numbers, being careful not to display how nervous he was. It didn’t ring for long, and Jack began to speak, “Hello, Dan? It’s me. I need you to do me a favor. If this line gets disconnected, otherwise tampered with, or if you so much as hear something suspicious on this end, I’d like you to send those folders I had prepared to the press. Start with the Washington Post and The St. Petersburg Times.”

The others in the room instantly understood Jack’s intentions, and began to sweat with nervousness. They knew of Jack’s potential influence in many matters, and that killing him now would surely lead to the UN’s eventual collapse. Jack turned to the Chairman with a new feeling of confidence and said, “You called this meeting, start talking.”

The nearly venerable Chairman was almost too worried to speak, but he managed to say, “Doctor, please see reason. Would you really put so much stress on the human population just for the sake of some animals? We need to ease the stress on urban areas; they are simply getting too crowded!”

“Mr. Chairman, both you and I know that we’ve had the technology and the resources to start colonies on the Moon and Mars for over a decade.”

“You know we can’t do that! How would we be able to maintain our military presence in America and Russia at the same time?”

“You wouldn’t. And you don’t need to. Listen to what I said years ago, you can’t expect to hold a world government indefinitely if you hold it through fear. If you can show the people that you care about them, and that you operate in their best interests, you won’t even need a military presence to hold them together!”

“How do you know this will work?”

“To be honest, I don’t. And I don’t care, either. You have three choices, your government can fall apart after attacking the island, your government can fall apart after doing nothing, or you can try for space and see what happens.”

The Chairman and all others in the room were speechless, completely unprepared for a dilemma of this kind. Jack broke the silence by speaking to the phone, “Dan, if you don’t hear a world-wide public announcement from the Chairman in a few seconds, send out the folders.”

Jack handed the Chairman a piece of paper, and the Chairman half silently muttered, “This is blackmail.” He opened the paper, and shakily drew a special microphone over from the far end of his desk. He put a pill in his mouth, swallowed hard, and turned on the microphone.

*****

“Greetings to the people of all nations, this is United Nations Chairman Malcolm speaking. A new era is upon us, an era of exploration and discovery. There are two frontiers before us, one large and one small. The larger is the Solar System, which we will begin to settle by the end of next year. The smaller is only an island, but it is an island that will captivate the imagination of every person of every age. We need your help to unravel the mysteries surrounding the new life forms that inhabit this island. Sign up soon to be a part of this discovery, but be prepared for a life of adventure. The renowned scientist Dr. Jack Norwood will divulge further details regarding this new frontier before the week is out. With your help, we can forge a bright future both at home and among the stars. That is all.”

*****

Jack sighed with relief as he closed the phone and left the room. As he began walking down the marble hallway, he knew that he had achieved the accomplishment of a lifetime. He didn’t know if things would turn out well for the UN in the long run, but he did know that Kanto would do more than well for a long time. He decided that he would have to get busy finding investors to further fund the project, but that would hardly be difficult once the various companies of interest saw his group’s findings. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him, and he took out his cell phone. With a few quick strokes, he cleared the call history. It would be a shame if one of the people who were in the office saw that the last number he had called was labeled “Five Minutes of Silence.”

It was a bluff, a dangerously good one.

Red1530
July 6th, 2008, 12:05 PM
Now you made the UN into a true World Government that is very corrupt. I like how the UN has to have a large military presence to keep the United States and Russia in check. Personally I would of liked to have saw open rebellion in Russia and especially the United States because the US has a large number of armed civilians. The way you had it come out was great. I do have one question however, when you referred to "the St. Petersburg Times", were you referring to the on in the state of Florida or the one in Russia because if it was the one in Russia, the word "the" needed to be capitalized.

icomeanon6
July 6th, 2008, 12:33 PM
Now you made the UN into a true World Government that is very corrupt. I like how the UN has to have a large military presence to keep the United States and Russia in check. Personally I would of liked to have saw open rebellion in Russia and especially the United States because the US has a large number of armed civilians. The way you had it come out was great. I do have one question however, when you referred to "the St. Petersburg Times", were you referring to the on in the state of Florida or the one in Russia because if it was the one in Russia, the word "the" needed to be capitalized.
Nice catch with the newspaper title error. I was referring to the St. Petersburg in Russia, because Jack's intent was to show them that he could start rebellion in America and Russia simultaneously. The situation I was trying to convey was that the UN could handle having one of them rebel, but not both.

I didn't describe open rebellion in the countries partially because it didn't end up happening just then, but mostly because that would have gone too far away from being Pokemon fanfiction (this chapter was a bit of a stretch). I don't know how well I conveyed this, but Jack doesn't really mind having a world government, he just despises the way that it's being run.

Thanks for the comment!

EDIT: 1000+ views! Epic win!

icomeanon6
July 21st, 2008, 09:36 PM
9: A Change of Opinion

It was around midday, and Crowe was walking in the woods. For some reason, he didn’t like walking around in the dark much, anymore. It had been fifteen days since he captured the reptile, and it had been five days since Jack called in with the good news of his success in the UN Senate. Crowe knew it wouldn’t be long until this island was much more crowded, so he was spending near all of his time in the forest to make sure he could tell the newcomers of all the area’s hazards. He shuddered at the thought of these newcomers finding out about the one foot tall worms by themselves. They may have been pretty weak and easy to capture, but the webbing these worms propelled from their mouths really slowed Crowe down, and it took hours to get that stuff off his clothes.

At the moment, Crowe didn’t have any particular reason to be walking around in the forest. However, he didn’t consider returning to Pallet Town for a moment. In Crowe’s mind, wasting time in the woods was far more important than helping Emma with whatever tests she was running. It then dawned on Crowe that he hadn’t said three words to her since they had talked on the shore. He quickly dismissed the idea of trying to have a conversation with her; it would inevitably end up in some kind of discussion concerning his morals.

Crowe’s thought process was interrupted by a stirring noise in the bush. He turned his head, and spotted the source of the sound. He began to slowly walk towards the shrub, and when he got within five yards of the thing a small fireball shot out from underneath it and almost set his foot alight. Crowe bit his tongue so as to avoid showing any pain or weakness, and decided to let one of his partners help him on this one. Crowe reached for one of the containment balls that he had strapped to his belt, and removed the one containing the reptile, which Emma had named Charmeleon. Charmeleon was very reluctant to work with Crowe, but after a few days Crowe had managed to calm her down. It had only been two days ago that Crowe started taking her with him on these trips in the woods, and already she had proven to be incredibly useful.

Crowe put Charmeleon’s ball in the capturing gun, and pressed the eject button. The iconic red light shot out, and Charmeleon materialized on her feet with claws raised. She growled at whatever was in the bush, and held her menacing pose without flinching when another fireball hit her shoulder. However, after sniffing the air a few times, she relaxed her pose, and approached the bush slowly and curiously. Crowe wondered why she had begun to act this way, but decided it would be best not to interfere. After sniffing the bush for a few seconds, Charmeleon made a low noise in her throat that almost sounded like a purr. After she had done this, a small, red-orange lizard crawled out from under the shrub. It looked similar to Charmeleon, but was much less bulky. The two reptiles softly rubbed their snouts together in a friendly and familiar manner, and Crowe began to understand why Charmeleon had come to this forest in the first place.

Charmeleon used her jaws to pick up the smaller lizard in a gentle manner that only a mother could manage, and started to walk off. Crowe decided not to stop her, he had hindered her long search enough already.

*****

Around an hour later, Crowe walked into the tent they called a lab in Pallet Town, and removed his partners from their balls and led them into their pens. Emma was sitting at her desk, and couldn’t help but notice that Crowe was short one animal. No, “animal” was not the right word for them after all. In a recent meeting of distinguished scientists, a decision was reached stating that these creatures could not be classified in any of the existing kingdoms of life. After hours of heated debate, the temporary name of “monster” was assigned to this new kingdom because they were all too tired to think of something either more scientific or at least in Latin. Regardless of what they were called, Emma was concerned about this shortage of Crowe’s, and inquired, “Where’s Charmeleon? You didn’t provoke her to run off, did you?”

If Crowe took any offense at this comment, he didn’t show it. Instead, he replied, “No, I didn’t. It turns out she was just looking for her offspring this whole time. She found it, and I let them go.”

Crowe sat down at his desk and began to type something into the computer, but Emma didn’t go back to her work. She continued to look at Crowe, and took her time before saying the next thing that she felt to be necessary. “You’ve changed.”

Crowe stopped typing mid-word, and remained silent for a few seconds before replying without emotion, “What do you mean by that?”

Emma was ready to reply quickly this time, “Well, I know for a fact that if this had been a few weeks ago, you would have simply captured Charmeleon’s young and come back here to run some tests on it. Face it, you felt sorry for something that wasn’t human!”

Crowe turned to meet her face and said, “I, unlike some people I know, do not suffer that weakness. I guarantee that I did not let them go because of emotion. I let them go because there was little use for the offspring, and the ecosystem would be better off if it were raised by its mother and grew up to serve its purpose as a predator.”

Emma smiled and said, “That’s a load of bull, I know you really care about their feelings.”

“Again, what gives you that impression?”

“Well, I couldn’t help but notice that your fire suit was thrown in the garbage.”

“I don’t have any need for it, I’ve got a job working with Jack now and I don’t need to work for the UN anymore. I didn’t throw it away because I’m too emotionally attached to those monsters.”

At this point, Emma started to laugh softly, which was something that Crowe had never seen her do. He inquired, “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, nothing. It’s just that we do have security cameras monitoring who throws what away when, and they happen to show that you threw away your suit one day before Jack managed to stop the Senate’s plans for this island.”

There was silence, and Crowe’s face slowly turned a deep shade of red. He never thought that she would look this much in to the situation. Emma stood up and began to leave, and said over her shoulder, “Don’t worry, I’ll keep it a secret. I wouldn’t want to hurt your reputation!”

Crowe’s silence was all that Emma needed to confirm her suspicions, he had said much more with nothing than he could have with words.

*****

The last beams of the setting sun were glistening on the vast sea, a sight that had never ceased to captivate Crowe. He lay at the foot of the water, and Pidgey stood a few feet away from him, pecking at the ground to find some worms. Something strange had happened to Pidgey, though Crowe and his colleagues didn’t quite understand it yet. Somehow, an addition to her DNA had been made, which caused her to grow in size and complexity. Crowe thought that this might be related to the glow he had seen before he passed out. He didn’t trust his intuition on this one, however, and stated that more research was needed to confirm the true nature of this phenomenon.

Crowe had grown rather close to Pidgey, closer than he had grown to most people. He hadn’t directly let anyone know about this friendship, and didn’t feel comfortable enough to start telling anyone anytime soon. He figured that he’d just let this friendship reveal itself to the others over time. The same would go for this newfound feeling he had for the other monsters on this island; no good would come from making a show of how he had changed his mind.

Just then, he heard a rumbling coming from the distance. He looked out across the water, and saw a small fleet of helicopters approaching. He didn’t worry, however, for he knew that they bore not burners from the United Nations, but rather pioneers from Silph. As they drew closer, Pidgey looked upon them as well, and Crowe was pleased to see that there was no fear in her eyes. Crowe turned his head back to the water, and saw the ripples that the helicopters made as they passed overhead. Crowe remembered the last time he had seen ripples underneath a helicopter. Back then he was preparing to burn an island and the monsters that inhabited it. He was glad that these disturbances in the water were a sign of something better. To Crowe, these ripples were a sign of hope, a hope that the rest of the world would one day be able to live with these creatures in the same way that he had learned to.

End of Book One

icomeanon6
September 6th, 2008, 07:19 PM
To clear up any possible confusion about the whole "book one" and "book two" thing, it was labeled that way because what follows is the start of a different plot line. I didn't want to label it as a different fic because it takes place in the same setting as the previous chapters, and that might prove confusing to new readers. I hope you enjoy this new addition, and as always any comments or criticisms will be welcome.

*****


Book Two
A Natural Mystery


1: The Young Explorers’ Exposition

“Do you ever get the feeling that you’ve done something so blatantly against the rules that it could mean the very end of your future, and that you’re just too near-sighted to realize exactly what it is?”

“That’s an awfully paranoid thing to worry about. Now c’mon, I want to get to the coast before sundown.”

The coast that this boy was referring to was known as the Indigo Shore, and it had presented quite a conundrum to geologists. As near as any of them could guess, there was no reason for there to be a shore there at all. It was almost as if only half of an island decided to rise from the sea, leaving the other half to rest at the bottom of the ocean. This “half of an island” that housed the shore was known as Kanto, and it was where the two boys journeying towards said shore resided. Specifically, they came from a town called Pallet, where they had lived with their families since they were toddlers. They had little to no memory of where they lived before then, and they didn’t concern themselves much with it. In their minds, Kanto was their native land. They had lived there for almost as long as anyone could have, and they knew the forests surrounding Pallet and Viridian better then anyone. That is, anyone save Dr. Crowe. As a matter of fact, it was Dr. Crowe himself who had told the two that they could never, under any circumstances, head as far west from Pallet as the Indigo Shore.

It’s not that Dr. Crowe considered the two to be unqualified to head out that far on their own. They were two of the most inherently intelligent people on the island, and even at the age of eleven they both were capable of helping him and Dr. Henderson out in genuinely effective ways. It’s just that between the two of them they seemed to have absolutely no sense of when they had gone in over their heads. The real reason why Dr. Crowe didn’t want the two to head out so far was because if they were to go that far out, they would venture out even farther and farther to the point where he couldn’t bail them out of sticky situations easily.

These two inconveniently knowledgeable nutcases—as Dr. Crowe referred to them—were named Taylor Kaufmann and Nathan Stevenson. Taylor considered it slightly unfair that he was considered to be just as incautious as Nathan, because he did try to act as a voice of reason every now and again. The real problem was that even he didn’t want to listen to his own advice. He sighed as they continued to walk through the woods, not wanting to admit how glad he was that Nathan had given no regard to his implied suggestion of turning around. Taylor was what one would call a case of nerves. He was constantly being torn between his sense of fun and his sense of reason, and he was constantly worried about why his sense of fun always won.

The sun was dropping much lower, and the two were unsure about whether they would get there on time. They may not have been very good at judging already travelled distances, but identifying geographic characteristics was something that Nathan had a knack for. However, there had been no good land features to identify since the top of the Indigo Plateau, so he was at a loss when it came to guessing the remaining distance. Just then, he noticed something that stood out to him.

“Look there! You see that big draw in the side of the plateau up north? I think we’re close!” After taking out his topographical map to confirm, he saw that they were only an eighth of a mile away from the shore. This reassurance prompted the two to start moving at a half running pace, while still being careful to avoid tripping on roots and underbrush.

“The adults should probably get some controlled cutting out here,” said Taylor between deep breaths as they ran. “All these tall bushes would make a real hazard if a wildfire were to start.”

“Shut up and run, we’ll worry about that later!”

Before long, the ground leveled out and they exited the forest, coming across a field of rocks at the edge of a vast sea, just in time to witness the climax of the sunset. As the rays reflected off the water at just the right time to meet the rocks at just the right angle, a certain normally subtle mineral embedded in the gray stone began to shine a brilliant purple-blue color. It was like an aura was surrounding each and every rock, a glow that one couldn’t resist putting his hand into to be enveloped by the light.

“The Indigo Shore…” said Nathan in a state of awe. “I can’t believe that Dr. Crowe wouldn’t let us see it until now.”

“He still hasn’t, we had to sneak off.”

“Whatever, it’s still awesome.”

Taylor picked up a small stone that happened to contain the mineral. He then knelt down and moved the stone in and out of the narrow section of air where the sunlight could make it glow.
“I think I’ll bring this home, and see if it works there, too.”

Far earlier than when the boys would have liked, the sun fell below the waterline, allowing for only a few more minutes with enough light to see. The glow vanished, and Taylor pocketed the rock he had picked up. He then said, “Let’s get the tent set up before it gets dark.”

Nathan stalled by making a humming noise, looking around for an excuse to stay around the ocean. The left edge of his mouth lifted into his telltale smirk when he found it. “I think we can get to that big rock a few dozen yards off shore.”

Taylor gave a few reasons as to why they shouldn’t go out so far, but that didn’t stop him from walking over with Nathan to the edge of the water and starting to remove his shoes.
“C’mon, it’ll be fine! Just let me see where the submerged rocks tend to grow taller, I’m pretty sure we can get there without the water coming up to our knees.”

They rolled up their pant legs and began to wade. Nathan led the way, noticing subtle aspects of the aquatic terrain that most people simply wouldn’t be aware of. Sure enough, they soon found themselves standing on a tall boulder out in the open with clothes dry. They were free to turn around and admire both the untouched nautical horizon and the island behind them, few things they had seen before could have compared.

Just then, Taylor looked up and noticed that the clouds had begun to move slightly faster. In a matter of seconds, he had concluded that the rate of their acceleration had increased as well. He then bent his knees to a more suitable position for the gust he anticipated, and was glad he had done so when the wind did pick up greatly. Nathan didn’t react as well as Taylor did to this change in the wind, but he only stumbled a bit before regaining his balance. The air was filled with such a howl, and the sea became surprisingly violent. Waves began to crash against the side of the boulder, sending a burst of mist into Taylor’s face. He stood up and said loudly that they had to go. As he began to head back down to the water, Nathan shouted “Stop! Did you feel that?”

Taylor stood still, and tried to ignore the noise so he could figure out what Nathan was referring to. Before long, he felt it: a tremor in the rock below them, not strong enough to be heard, but strong enough to be concerned about. They stood still for a minute, too afraid to head back to the shore. During that time, the winds picked up even more, and at the end of that period came what felt to the two like a full blown earthquake. They lay flat on the rock, not wanting to be tossed over because of a lack of balance.

Taylor then looked up and saw that something was happening to the very ocean around them. New boulders were rising up, and the water was being displaced. The water between the two and the shore was emptied completely by a massive section of rocks rising up from the waves. The surge of water almost caused the boys to be washed off the boulder to which they were clinging. There was a large cracking noise, and suddenly Taylor felt a sensation of falling. It happened too fast for him to see anything, and the impact as the hard boulder landed left him stunned. He heard small rocks falling around him, and then felt a sharp pain on his forehead before there was quiet.

Taylor was too stunned to cry, but not too stunned to start to sit up. He raised his hand to the spot on his head where there was a throbbing, disorienting feeling. His head stung when he touched it, and he retracted his hand quickly, only to find that it was marred by a streak of blood. His hand began to twitch involuntarily, and he found it hard to see Nathan approaching him with a flashlight. “Hey, are you o…oh man.”

Taylor couldn’t see what happened next, but he heard the sound of a knife being opened and some kind of material being cut. Soon he felt some nylon being wrapped around his forehead, and then felt pressure being applied to it. In the midst of his confusion, he became aware that there were a few tears rolling down his face. He opened his mouth to cry out, but nothing came.

“Hang on, man…We’ll get out of here soon…”

Hearing those last words, Taylor’s sensory awareness left for parts unknown, and his consciousness followed closely behind. Whether or not they would return was at that point anyone’s guess.

icomeanon6
January 13th, 2009, 05:33 PM
[Wow, that took a while, didn't it? At any rate, here's a new chapter. If you've got anything worthwhile to say about it, please comment. I didn't get any comments for the two previous chapters, so I don't really know if it's going in a good direction or not.]

2: An Apparently Dead Issue

It was around four hours until sunset on the same day that Taylor and Nathan had left to explore without permission. Sean Crowe was standing on Pallet's shore, watching the horizon for a certain helicopter. This was to be the first time that Jack Norwood had stepped foot on Kanto, which was odd seeing as he could be credited for the island's continued existence as a natural place. Though he had paid immense attention to the information sent to him by the scientists in Pallet Town, and though he gave frequent legal advice to the new cities of Viridian and Pewter, Jack was simply too busy with the United Nations to visit the island in person.

For that entire week, Emma Henderson had been working furiously to make sure that the labs at Pallet were in perfect condition. She and Jack had always had a bit of a rivalry when it came to who could manage a facility more competently, so she was determined to make a good impression. Crowe didn't concern himself much with this, and was simply glad he would have the chance to see one of the few people whom he called close friends. When he finally spotted the chopper, he quickly set off to Pallet Town to make sure that there were no children playing marbles on the landing area.

The slightly disgruntled marble-players dispersed just in time for the helicopter to find a clear place to touch down. As Jack Norwood emerged he found an eager group of subordinates and friends. As he walked towards Crowe and Emma, he made sure to greet all whom he passed with some sort of vague greeting or compliment. He could have greeted any of them more personally, but he had wanted to speak face to face with his two closest friends for some time. "Sean, Emma! Man, it's been years. How's everything holding up?"

Crowe smiled and said, "Don't give me that. You know what's going on here better than I do."

There was some light laughter, and Jack turned to Emma and said, "Well, the place looks great. How much time did you spend making it look that way?"

"Oh, it's like this all the time."

Jack glanced over at a few of the other researchers, who were predictably mouthing 'no,' shaking their heads, and holding back laughter. Few of them came to the island for the same reason, but they shared a common friendship with Jack, who could always seem to spark a sense of fun when working with biology. This sense of fun, however, was not shared by the three suit-and-tie clad individuals who exited the helicopter behind Jack. One of them said in a slightly cold tone, “Well Dr. Norwood, I must say I’m a bit surprised. You had given us the impression that you had a team of completely serious researchers down here. They don’t exactly strike me as being professional.”

Crowe scoffed quietly and shook his head. He then turned to Jack and said without the previous humor and friendliness, “You didn’t tell us you had investors coming.”

Jack shrugged and replied, “If I did, you guys would have gone out of your way to be uptight. Where’s the fun in that? Relax, once you show them the findings, we’re guaranteed to get some serious coin.” At this point, Jack motioned to the bag that he was carrying over his shoulder, “I brought it, so they should be really impressed.”

Crowe looked at the bag, and realized immediately what was inside. He wasn’t sure why, but for some reason when he looked at it now, he felt slightly guilty. He didn’t let this feeling show, however, and turned to the investors to say, “Well, I’m sure you gentlemen have been waiting long enough. Why don’t we head into the lab?”

Emma, Jack, Crowe, and a few other scientists led the way to the largest of the tents. When inside, Jack set the bag down on an operation table and scurried over to close the window flaps and turn on the artificial light. While Emma was hooking up some electronic devices, Crowe rummaged through a box of supplies to find the necessary instruments for the demonstration. It took them a minute or so to get fully ready, the only real delay being the investors, who were not aware at first that latex gloves could work on either hand. At any rate, it was not long before everyone was standing around the surgical table, ready to listen to Crowe.

As he zipped open the bag, Crowe began to speak, “Now, what’s inside here is no mystery to anyone in Silph or the UN, but the general public has no knowledge of it yet.” He removed from the bag and set on the table a small, pink mammal, the same one that sparked the entire expedition. Crowe noticed that as he set it down, his hand shook involuntarily, but he decided to ignore it. “This is one of a now extinct species we found on the island where the city of New Okinawa currently lies. It is in this animal that we first noticed the paradoxical chemical nature of the ‘monsters’ on this island.”

One of the investors interrupted, “Excuse me, but when you say ‘paradoxical,’ you mean that…”

“I mean that according to many physical laws that appeared valid until a little over a decade ago, these animals should be both highly radioactive and probably exploding.”

At hearing this, the investors began to show signs of nervousness, such as widened eyes and, in the case of one of them, involuntary twitching. Crowe continued, “I know it sounds far-fetched, but many scientists around the world have tested samples of this animal, and have all concluded that it is molecularly unstable, and that nothing we’re aware of is holding it together. You can see for yourself here, if our electron microscope is working.”

Emma said as if on cue, “It is, just give me a second to focus it.”

While she was doing this, one of the younger scientists connected the machine to a computer display so that all in the tent could observe it. Initially, there was nothing but visual noise, but Emma’s adjustments quickly changed that. She then began to deliver her overly-practiced speech, “What you’re seeing right now is a visual representation of the number of valence electrons that are present in the atoms being shown. If you’ll look at the key on the left side of the screen, you can clearly see that all of them have twice as many valence electrons as they should. We have tested many other specimens on the island, and all of them have shown the same characteristic.”

Crowe interrupted, “I think that’s enough about that for now. Why don’t you show them the abnormalities we found in its bone and muscle structure?”

“Certainly,” replied Emma, as she turned off the electron microscope. Just as she did, however, Jack spoke up.

“Hold up a minute. Turn it back on.”

Emma was hesitant for a moment, not knowing why Jack was suddenly showing renewed interest in the electron examination. The screen lit up, revealing an image that was identical to what had been displayed previously. Though Jack was staring at the screen intently, no one else in the room seemed to know what he was so intrigued about. There was a silence that was not broken for several seconds, and ended with Jack speaking again, “Did any of you see that?”

Crowe raised an eyebrow and answered with a question, “See what? It’s not the liveliest of images.”

“I swear I saw something, just as she was turning it off. Does that thing have auto-record?”

Emma answered slowly; she hadn’t seen Jack appear so concerned about anything in years, “Yeah…but what did you see, anyway?”

“I’m not exactly sure, just bring up the recording.”

Emma began to type some commands, and soon enough the screen showed multiple frames of what had been shown only seconds ago. Jack said with a strange sense of urgency, “Scroll back to the end of the previous session, when you turned it off.”

Emma did so, not knowing what the point was seeing as the images were all essentially the same. However, mere milliseconds before the end of the last session, they saw something strange in one of the frames. In this frame, all of the atoms inexplicably gained four electrons, and then promptly lost them by the time the next shot was taken. Crowe was especially perplexed. He found it unnerving that this monster could continue to surprise them even though he thought he knew its composition like the back of his hand. In his typically skeptical fashion, he said, “It might be a technical problem, maybe there was a small surge in one of the detectors.”

“I don’t think so,” said Jack, “If it were a surge, it would have affected the reading more dramatically. Emma, zoom that thing out to show the entire body.”

“If we did that,” replied Emma, “We wouldn’t be able to get specific readings on each atom. It’d have to return sectional averages.”

“I know, just try it.”

Emma tried it, and the screen showed a bright, monochromatic silhouette of the New Okinawa monster. As Emma expected, the entire screen was a solid shade, there was no particular region that stood out as having more or less electrons than the others. Not being satisfied, Jack asked Emma to zoom in slowly on certain areas of the monster. First they observed the head, and found no abnormalities. They attempted the same thing with the sternum, gut, and arms, but still saw nothing unexpected. Then they tried around the lower body, and found it: a few tiny pixels that were slightly brighter than its surroundings. Jack said, “What part of the body is that?”

Crowe looked at the measurements displayed to the side of the image and said, “It should be around the uterus.”

At hearing this, Jack’s eyes lit up like fire, and he said without disguising his excitement, “I’m running a scan.”

He then fumbled through his pockets, and brought out a pocketbook-shaped and sized device that he connected to the computer and turned on. Crowe stared in incredulity at Jack and spoke slowly, “Jack, have you gone nuts? Dead animals don’t have babies!”

Jack didn’t listen, and held the scanner over the monster’s body. He stared at the screen, observing intently what the device was showing them. At first glance, the uterus appeared to be empty, but much closer examination revealed something shocking to Jack. “There! You see it? It’s small, but it’s there! It’s…it’s…...it’s gone?”

Crowe looked at the screen, not seeing whatever Jack did, “Jack, I think this computer might be trying to mess with your head.”

Jack, still undaunted, snapped at him, “I’ve been recording this, just rewind it slowly!”

Crowe sighed, and began to backtrack through the footage at 1/8 speed. “See, Jack? It’s nothing but dead tissue; you’ve been jumping at shadows or somethi…Oh, Jesus.”

Crowe paused the film, and stared at what he thought Jack had been observing. Zooming in more closely, the contour of the shape became clearly visible. It was not terribly obvious, but it was clearly a cluster of living cells that had been present up until a few moments ago. They had not died in that time. They had just disappeared.

*****

In the last few minutes before sunset, Crowe was still going over the images that had been recorded by Jack’s scanner. He had not bothered to eat dinner with the investors; he was too absorbed in what he was seeing. For some reason, he could not stop analyzing the structure, even though there was no way he could be sure that they were the monster’s cells. While one part of him was trying to make the case that the cells had to have come from an outside source, another part of him was insisting that this finding might lead to his reconciliation with the creature. ‘But, that’s absurd,’ Crowe said in his head, ‘even if those cells did belong to this thing, what can we do about it now? They disappeared, and even if they hadn’t, what would we do with them? Besides, what I did back then was completely excusable. I had to get some money somehow.’

Emma then walked into the tent in a sort of cautious manner, knowing that Crowe probably would not want to be disturbed. However, she found the courage to speak, even though she knew how frighteningly cold he could become when in this sort of mood. “You haven’t eaten anything all day, aren’t you hungry? There’s still some fish left, if you want it.”

Crowe did not answer right away, as he was still momentarily lost in thought. He did answer soon enough, and in just the tone that Emma hoped he would refrain from using. “Thanks, but no.”

Emma sighed at a level she hoped would be noticed, and responded, “Look, Sean, you can’t keep killing yourself over what happened back then.”

“I’m not. This has nothing to do with it.”

“Give me a break; of course you feel guilty right now. I know I said I’d never bring it up, but everyone around here knows you’ve changed. You may not be a green-freak, but we can all tell that you’ve got some sort of empathy for the monsters around here, including that one on the table. Just forget about Jack’s footage, we can’t do anything about it.”

Again, Crowe avoided responding immediately. Though he would never admit it, he knew of no proper way to refute what Emma had said. Both fortunately and unfortunately, he suddenly had an excuse to avoid her statement. At that moment, they felt some strong tremors in the ground that sent a few instruments falling off of the operation table. The tremors continued for a good while, and began to gradually grow stronger. At the same time, the tough fabric that made the tent’s wall and ceiling began to shake as a result of a sudden increase in the wind. Crowe shouted over the noise, “I thought we didn’t have any earthquakes due for months!”

Emma shouted back, “I thought so, too!”

Crowe stood up and was about to exit the tent, when the radio sparked to life, and the voice of their regular contact with the mainland came on. “Dr. Crowe, are you there?”

The voice had a particular sense of urgency to it, so Crowe decided it would be best not to ignore it. He picked up the microphone and answered, “This is Crowe, and could you call back? We’ve got a bit of a situation here at the moment!”

“I know, Doctor, but this is important! It concerns Kanto’s western coast!”

Crowe then took on more seriousness for the call, “Well, what is it?”

“It’s weird, Doctor, our satellites are showing some odd new rock formations coming up offshore with the earthquake, and they’re growing too fast to be counted!”

Crowe hesitated for a second, wondering how so many oddities could occur in one day. “Thanks for telling me. I’m going to go check it out!”

“Wait, what?” was all that came from the radio before Crowe exited the tent. Emma thought she knew what Crowe was up to, and quickly picked up the microphone to say, “Hold on a sec, I’ll get him back here,” before she exited the tent as well.

Outside, Crowe was calling over Pidgey, who was now far larger than he had been previously due to a second metamorphosis that he had experienced during the last year. As Pidgey came down to the grass, Crowe began to climb on his back. Emma ran up to him and interjected, “You can’t be serious! There’s way too much wind! You could fall right off!”

“Quit worrying! Pidgey’s awfully good at this kind of thing!”

Once Crowe was steadily mounted on the bird-like monster, he took off into the turbulent sky. Immediately, Crowe began to fear that Emma had been correct, as the gusts were unprecedentedly strong. Fortunately, he had practiced flight with Pidgey extensively, so he was able to stay balanced well enough. It took them slightly longer than usual to reach the sea next to the Indigo Shore, where Crowe quickly saw that he could no longer call it by that name. The rock formations that Kanto’s contact had mentioned were massive, and seemed to spread for miles. What once had been the beautiful coastline had blended seamlessly with the new rocks, making it appear as if the island had suddenly grown an addition. Flying down more closely, Crowe saw some strange crevices in the rocks that seemed to lead into an underground cavern. He signaled to Pidgey to fly down into one of them, being unsure of what he would find there.

bobandbill
January 13th, 2009, 06:42 PM
About time I came back to reading this fic and did a review to boot.

Anyway, I'm continuing to enjoy this. It's still got that Jurassic Park-style, but you've made it your own story as well, I feel. It's very entertaining now that the plot has further developed, and the character development there of Crowe was also nice to see, IMO. I also quite liked the whole scenes involving convincing the UN (which were portrayed nicely too, btw), and the fact that he had bluffed at the end of it all. Very nice - certainly getting better. =)

Occasionally, I'll say that you tend to continue sentences somewhat unnaturally with commas, particularly in dialogue. The pause created by them is a bit unnatural, and a semi-colon or a new sentence at times seems to be the better option. I'll give some examples in a moment.

Also, occasionally, you still in recent chapters move from event to event a tad quickly, such as when Crowe is embarrassed by Emma's findings about him developing a friendship with Pokemon, to the following short scene with him and his Pidgey. I felt you could expand a bit on the latter but, so the jump wasn't as sudden. But that was kinda minor.

Random quotes from the last three chapters:
Crowe decided not to stop her, he had hindered her long search enough already.One instance of the aforementioned comma problem. For me when I read it it just felt a bit weird, and that it'd be better here as a semi colon, which'd make for a longer and more natural-sounding pause. It could even work as two sentences, but with a comma, less so.
No, “animal” was not the right word for them after all. In a recent meeting of distinguished scientists, a decision was reached stating that these creatures could not be classified in any of the existing kingdoms of life. After hours of heated debate, the temporary name of “monster” was assigned to this new kingdom because they were all too tired to think of something either more scientific or at least in Latin.
I'll mention that I also like the small scientific touches and quirks here and there too, such as how they were too tired to give it a Latin name. XD Anyway, I suggest (although it isn't really necessary), to reserve quotation marks for dialogue only, and use something else for names of things, signs, etc (e.g. 'animal', 'monster' over "animal", "monster").
Emma smiled and said, “That’s a load of bull, I know you really care about their feelings.”Another problematic comma. Here, it just makes this whole part seem too long and quickens the pace. It also makes it seem that Emma is really anxious to say what she wants to say; as if she was in a race or a rush or something. I'd suggest replacing with a full stop to slow it down.
Crowe’s silence was all that Emma needed to confirm her suspicions, he had said much more with nothing than he could have with words.Again - semi-colon or hyphen or a new sentence over that comma.
“He still hasn’t, we had to sneak off.”
"Well, the place looks great, how much time did you spend making it look that way?"
Two more - on the second I suggest a new sentence, and the former a hyphen or something other than that comma. Again - makes the pace a tad too quick and things sound a bit awkward in how they are said.
“I mean that according to many physical laws that appeared valid until a little over a decade ago, these animals should be both highly radioactive and probably exploding.”
Heh. XD
Emma answered slowly; she hadn’t seen Jack appear so concerned about anything in years, “Yeah…but what did you see, anyway?”
I suggest replacing that comma with a full stop - otherwise the whole sentence feels a tad like a run-on sentence to me.
Crowe shouted over the noise, “I thought we didn’t have any earthquakes due for months!”
Emma shouted back, “I thought so, too!”Presentation-wise only - an extra 'enter' press in between the two lines.

Overall this is quite good still, and I daresay better than the earlier chapters too (and they were good to start with). Looking forward to seeing what happens next. Keep it up!

icomeanon6
July 19th, 2009, 11:20 AM
Thanks for the comments, Robert and William. Sometime later I'll go back to the earlier chapters and find those pesky comma problems. As for some of the "jumps" within the chapters, I'm not sure what I want to do with those. I tend to envision this story as a series of scenes rather than a continuous narrative, but I can see how that can be jarring at times. At any rate, here's a new chapter.

3: An Improbable Meeting

After landing gently on the floor of the recently formed cavern, Pidgey stooped to let Crowe off more easily. Crowe’s slow steps all came back to him in the form of distinct echoes. Turning on a flashlight, the doctor could not help but be amazed at how sharp and fine the walls of the place were. It was as if the place was totally untouched by the eroding forces of nature. He signaled to Pidgey to wait near the opening for him, and then set off to explore the rest of the cave.

Crowe needed only to walk for a few minutes before he heard some small patters coming from a distance in front of him. He froze instantly, and shone his light straight ahead. He spotted a large rodent where the steps had originated. The monster then hissed and darted towards Crowe with its teeth barred. It stopped a few yards away from him and raised its claws. Its brown fur stood on end in a further attempt to be intimidating. In all frankness, Crowe was not intimidated, and simply snapped at the monster. “Hey! Shut up!”

Immediately, the rat-like being lowered its claws and ceased to hiss. It then looked up at Crowe as if it was expecting something. Crowe then dug into one of his pockets and tossed the monster a broken off piece of a cracker. “Here you go. What was with the growling, anyway? What have those two idiots been teaching you?”

Crowe knew perfectly well that the two idiots he was referring to deserved more intellectual credit than he gave them. They were Taylor and Nathan, and this rodent was the monster that Crowe had entrusted them with some years ago. At the time he had given it to them, it was a small purple thing named Rattata. However, once it had changed in the same fashion that Pidgey had, the two decided to rechristen it as ‘Raticate.’ Raticate looked up to meet Crowe’s eyes, and Crowe realized that he had been far too harsh on it. The fact that it was here meant that Taylor and Nathan were here as well, and that they had probably sent it out to scare away any potential threats. Crowe then dropped his annoyed tone and spoke to Raticate more calmly. “Alright, why don’t you just lead the way to them?”

Raticate turned around and began to walk back where it had come from. Crowe followed from a slight distance, making sure to watch his step. Before too long, he heard a young boy’s voice coming from deeper in the cave. “You hear that? I think someone’s coming.”

Crowe shined the light farther ahead, and saw two figures a couple dozen yards off. One of them, whom he recognized as Nathan, called out to him. “Who’s there?”

Nathan then aimed his flashlight into Crowe’s eyes, making him squint. “How many times do I have to tell you? Aim that thing at the ground.”

Nathan lowered his flashlight slightly, and then it dawned on him who it was standing with Raticate. Even though he was relieved that an adult had finally shown up, he was absolutely crestfallen that it was Dr. Crowe of all people. Any other adult would have been fine, but he could count on Dr. Crowe to make them feel stupid for being out here in the first place. Nathan instinctively swallowed as Crowe approached them, not looking amused with the situation.

Fortunately, Crowe didn’t focus on Nathan’s poor decision making, and turned his attention to Taylor, who had woken up, but was falling back to sleep. Crowe got down on one knee to examine the wound on his head, which Nathan had wrapped up with a cut piece of his shirt. After he was sure it was okay, Crowe stood up and instructed Nathan to keep Taylor awake. “He might have a concussion, so we can’t take any chances. I came with Pidgey, and I think he could carry two of us at a time. I’ll take Taylor out first, so you’ll have to wait by yourself for a little while, alright?”

Nathan let out a deep breath and said, “Yeah. That sounds good.” He then removed from his belt a containment ball and recalled Raticate. The ball was one of the new experimental models that could operate without any external aiming device, requiring only an accurate throw to work.

Crowe then asked him, “What about you? Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I’m feeling fine. I didn’t land as bad as he did when the ground fell out.”

Crowe’s expression then turned much sterner. “In that case, what the hell were you doing out here in the first place?”

Nathan winced. He had no answer, and knew perfectly well that the whole trip was a stupid idea. Crowe continued with the lecture. “You must think you’re real smart, waiting until Dr. Norwood makes his first trip to the island so you can sneak out here without anyone noticing. Do you think this is my job? Having to constantly babysit you two because you won’t stay out of trouble?”

Nathan looked at his shoes and responded quietly. “No.”

“You’re damn right it’s not! You’re old enough to be your own watchdog. Just because your parents are too aloof to keep track of you doesn’t mean you can do whatever stupid thing you want!”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t care if you’re sorry! Just stop acting so dumb!”

After saying this, Crowe ended the lecture and let out a low sigh. He knew he shouldn’t be so hard on them, but he was so annoyed at how they had picked the worst possible time to visit the shore. He then instructed Nathan to help Taylor to his feet. “We should get moving. This cave might not be totally sound.”

Nathan placed Taylor’s arm over his shoulder, and assisted him in standing up. Taylor had trouble keeping his eyes open, but could recognize Dr. Crowe standing in front of him. He wanted to say he was sorry for causing so much trouble, but all he could do was make a low groan. Crowe said to him, “Keep those eyes open. We’ll be out of here soon.”

Crowe started leading the way to where he had entered the cave. He checked over his shoulder frequently to make sure that the two kids were keeping pace. All of the sudden, they stopped in their tracks, looking off at something past Crowe. He asked them what was up, but they didn’t answer. He then turned around and saw something he had never dreamed of seeing again. It was Mew, or at least another monster of the same species. As it floated in midair, its body seemed to emit an unnatural light, and its cat-like eyes gave an unnerving hint of intelligence. Crowe was speechless. Everything he knew about science told him that all of Mew’s kind were gone, and that there was no way there could be a new one. It was impossible that this creature could have come from the small sign of life they found in the original, which left him with no explanation.

Crowe slowly moved his right foot forward, wondering if this was his chance for reconciliation; his chance to amend the eradication. As he took his first few steps toward the creature, however, he became aware that something was deeply wrong. In the back of his mind, he knew somehow that this being was entirely different than the weak, helpless mammal he had found all those years ago. From this new monster, he got a cold, threatening, and even callous feeling. As he looked at it, he felt as though his eyes were being tampered with. For a few sparse moments, the thing appeared as a humanoid creature, with eyes that held an unimaginable rage. Starting to panic, he shouted an order at the boys behind him. “Taylor! Nathan! Don’t look at it!”

Taylor heard him, but he didn’t listen. His eyes were fixed on the strange, pink monster that he had previously only heard stories about. Despite his injuries, the presence of the creature compelled him to stay awake and stare. The thing’s eyes then turned to meet his, and he found himself unable to move. At that moment, he heard Dr. Crowe speak again, this time in a cold tone that he had never heard him use before. “You know, Taylor, you were always a terrible listener.”

Taylor then found himself facing Crowe, who had turned away from the creature to speak to him. Taylor saw the doctor reaching into his jacket’s inside pocket, pulling out a small pistol. “I’m tired of bailing you out every other weekend, Taylor. So, now I'm going to send you to a place where you can't ever get bailed out from.”

Taylor wanted to run, but he was absolutely paralyzed with fear. Crowe started walking over to him, holding the pistol by the barrel and raising it over his head. With an angry shout, the doctor struck him square on the forehead, spilling blood on the cavern floor. Taylor cried out in agony and fell to the ground.

The events that passed next were something of a blur to the injured boy. He heard a few inexplicable gunshots, and then suddenly found that Dr. Crowe was not looming over him, but was back where he was previously standing, aiming his gun at Mew. He heard Crowe fire again, and saw Mew dart to the side with impossible speed to evade the bullet. With a glare in its eye, the creature turned tail and disappeared into the darkness of the cave. Taylor then began to slide back into unconsciousness, and retained only a few details of what had been said next as he closed his eyes.

“Nathan, hand me your med kit…

“…thing tried to confuse him…

“…opened the wound without touching it…”

Mizan de la Plume Kuro
July 30th, 2009, 03:44 AM
I've been rereading this a few times and I have to say that you have an interesting concept going on here. I like the fact that you made Kanto a newly found island. Although, this conflicts with Canon I don't have any complaints. The story is great and the concept is really well thought. Though, I am saddened by the lack of comments. It reminds me of my fic having a few comments then fading into obscurity.

Well, that's all I have to say, I hope you keep writing.

Caliban
August 22nd, 2009, 12:16 AM
It's too bad that you come anon. Otherwise we could send you oodles of cash!


Great fic. I found only three errors (which doesn't say much), and I promptly forgot them all. XD

Keep it up!

DK114
August 22nd, 2009, 01:37 AM
I just finished reading this and it is really good.... I hope you continue it

icomeanon6
April 6th, 2010, 09:01 PM
Wow, nine months already? At any rate, here's the latest chapter, which will hopefully be followed by another before too many weeks pass by.

4: An Impossible Vision

Crowe walked as quickly as he could to where he had left Pidgey, holding Taylor in his arms. He moved carefully, not wanting Taylor to lose any more blood than he already had. Under normal circumstances he would have wondered how the creature that appeared to be Mew could even exist, but an injured person carried greater priority in his mind. He reached Pidgey in little time, and set Taylor on his back. He got on as well, and with some difficulty Pidgey managed to get airborne. They flew out the same crack in the ceiling that they had entered from, and started back toward Pallet Town.

If Taylor had been awake, he would have seen that the landscape had now changed irrevocably. The rock formations were now so well integrated and widespread that the end of them couldn’t be seen with the naked eye. Though Crowe couldn’t tell from their vantage point, the island of Kanto had approximately doubled in size, with a massive addition having risen from the sea in less than three hours. Seams of magma could be seen emerging in the center of the new landmass, extending at speeds that didn’t seem possible. Crowe ignored the recent phenomenon, and focused entirely on returning to Pallet in as little time as he could. The winds were still strong, but this time they were with him, making for an easier trip.

Soon Crowe could see the center of town and Emma standing there waiting for them. As Pidgey touched down, Crowe shouted for a stretcher. Emma was nearly dumbstruck, and asked frantically what Taylor had even been doing out there. “Later! I’ve got to go back and get Nathan!”

Emma gently took Taylor off of Pidgey, and examined the gash in his forehead. As soon as Taylor was safely on the ground, Crowe and Pidgey took off again. Emma stared momentarily as they flew off, but she quickly jolted herself back to the situation at hand. She and the island’s two dedicated medics laid Taylor on the stretcher, and carried him into the hospital tent. It was only after transferring him carefully to a cot that they turned their attention to the shoddily bandaged gash on Taylor’s forehead. They made quick but more effective work of sanitizing it and getting it properly wrapped. Taylor’s breaths were shallow and slow, but he appeared to be stable. Emma instructed the medics to keep an eye on him, and then exited the tent thinking that something important might come over the radio soon.

Half an hour passed, and the winds continued to howl outside. It was only then that Taylor began to creep back into consciousness. His eyes were still closed, and his forehead throbbed every few seconds. He wanted to open his eyes, but he couldn’t get his muscles to move. Every breath seemed to last for hours, and the space between breaths became days. Weeks and then months passed for Taylor, until finally things began to change, though he couldn’t tell how they were doing so. His eyes stayed shut, but he became inexplicably aware of his surroundings. He was in the hospital tent, right below a patch in the ceiling. The two medics were standing at the entrance, and one of them had a coffee stain on her lab coat. He couldn’t see a thing, but all the details of the room were in some way apparent.

It was then that he became aware of something scratching at the back of his mind. He had trouble figuring out what sort of perception this was at first, but before long it seemed to take the form of words. He still could not see or hear a thing, but the words quickly became more pronounced.

‘At a fundamental level, none of it makes any sense.’

The similarity of the statement to what Taylor was thinking at the time made him wonder if he was somehow observing his mind from the outside. This notion was soon dispelled, when some new words came to his attention.

‘The delusions held and maintained by humans in their social interactions will lead to their own destruction with the utmost certainty.’

Taylor had never thought anything of the sort, which convinced him that these words came from some foreign presence. He thought “Who are you?” but had no way of knowing if this presence could hear or understand him.

‘This statement is difficult to grasp without immediately visible context. An example of my point is in order.’

Just then, Taylor found that his surroundings had changed drastically. He was no longer lying in a hospital, but rather standing in a kind of courtyard. He felt that his eyes were open, and he could see an arrangement of buildings, the kind of which he had previously only seen in old photographs. They were made of brick, were several stories tall, and had extensive arrays of glass windows. Taylor stared in awe at these exotic structures, until he heard a familiar voice that grabbed his attention.

“Why can’t you just have a more open mind about these things, Jack?”

Taylor turned to face a round table where a young man and woman were sitting. Taylor immediately recognized the woman as Dr. Henderson, though she was noticeably younger and had a longer haircut. She and the man, whom Taylor didn’t recognize, both had backpacks and cups of coffee from some local brewery. Taylor surmised that the two were students at that college place the adults mentioned now and again.

“Look, Emma, I’m not denying that things would be great if all of the left’s touchy-feely ideas about wealth were practical, but that’s just not how the world works. History’s totally on the side of Adam Smith.”

The man spoke in a friendly tone of voice, and in a manner that suggested he was less emotional about the topic than Dr. Henderson. He seemed to be more secure in the validity of his opinions, which almost made the discussion something of a game for him.

“That’s an exaggeration and you know it. You can’t just take a few dictatorships for examples and discount the theory behind it.”

“I’d say I can, seeing as enforcing the theory almost invariably leads to those dictatorships!”

Taylor managed to guess that they were talking about economics, which he had never needed to concern himself with and was therefore mostly ignorant of. He had heard the terms “bear market” and “bull market” before, but they didn’t make any sense to him. The way he looked at it, it wouldn’t be all that great to have either a bear or a bull running loose in a market.

“The dictatorships only happen when they try to do too much. That’s no reason to say we can’t blend some socialist principles in capitalist societies.”

“If you want a reason for that, just look at Europe. Their fiscal and social decisions have been totally irresponsible, and it’s becoming clearer all the time how unsustainable their seas of entitlements are. If they don’t rush the UN overhaul soon, they’re going to get eaten alive by the US and Russia, which is no skin off my nose to tell you the truth.”

“You know what your problem is, Jack? You’re callous. You just can’t bring yourself to sacrifice a little economic security for the sake of the less fortunate.”

By this point, Taylor was guessing that this man was Dr. Norwood, whom he was pretty sure had been mentioned as “Jack” at one point by an adult.

“Au contraire, my dear! If I didn’t care about the poor, I’d let the left do whatever they like because that’s what’s popular among all the kiddies these days. My entire motivation is that the left’s irresponsible policies will screw over the poor worse than any other socioeconomic group in the long run!”

Dr. Henderson pouted. “I’m not your dear, and I maintain that you have no soul.”

Dr. Norwood smiled and chuckled. “It’s those kinds of personal attacks that show your debating skills aren’t up to snuff.” He took a sip of his coffee. “Also shows you’re wrong,” he added with another laugh and noticeable sarcasm.

Dr. Henderson simply shook her head. She then turned to the table next to them, and addressed another young man who was staring off into space with the slightest hint of a scowl. “What about you, Sean? You got anything to say about the matter?”

Taylor did a double take when he realized that this man was Dr. Crowe. For some reason, he hadn’t aged as well as Dr. Henderson, so Taylor hadn’t suspected that they were roughly the same age. Dr. Crowe’s response was just the sort that Taylor had expected, showing that not everything about him had changed over the years. “Do you two seriously have nothing better to talk about?”

Though Taylor longed to hear more, his vision began to blur, and the sounds of the campus became dimmer and dimmer until they were gone. It was then that the presence from earlier once again made itself known.

‘Though they shake off their differences as if they don’t matter, their disagreements are irreconcilable at the most basic of levels.’

Taylor looked frantically for some sort of form to associate these words with, but to no avail. The words continued.

‘Though they collaborate with ease, and find that similar courses of action benefit them mutually, in due time they will turn against each other. Their ideologies are at odds, so they cannot trust that their means will remain the same permanently.’

Taylor was confused and disturbed by this message, and thought desperately, “What do you mean? Why are you telling me this? Who are you?”

For half a minute, there was nothing. Nevertheless, a reply did come.

‘I mean what I say. If you do not understand, it is none of my concern.

‘My reason for telling you this does not matter. It will all come crashing down soon, and I shall be the one to push it.

‘I was, am, and will be the survivor.’

It was only then and for a few fleeting moments that Taylor became aware of the form of this presence. He saw a humanoid monster of purple skin and piercing eyes of a darker hue. Before he could ask it anything else, he awoke. His eyes were now truly open, and he could see the ceiling above him as he normally would. He was breathing heavily, as one would after waking from a nightmare. His forehead still hurt, and when he tried to shift his body he felt that his clothes were damp from sweat.

Though it made his injury throb all the harder, he brought himself to sit up and leave the cot. The things he had experienced were far too real to be a dream, and he knew he had to tell someone. With all that had happened that evening, it could very well be suicidal to assume the experience was meaningless.

Mizan de la Plume Kuro
April 7th, 2010, 09:03 AM
It may be no better than me writing in Arial, but the only complaint I have here is that you wrote everything in Times New Roman which makes me have to squint when reading it.

Anyway, ignoring the presentation, I'm going to start off by saying that I didn't find any mistakes though there may have been since I don't think I was looking properly enough. I haven't read this in months so I needed a quick refresher then it all came flooding back.

Well, I'm pleased with where the plot is going and I have a feeling that Mewtwo comes into play somewhere? I also enjoyed that flashback-type conversation between Henderson and Norwood too. Politics is something that interests me. I'm not sure if you're going to have a fused-personality thing, but it will interest me whichever way you choose to write. Anyway, I hope to see more of your writing soon. And uh, welcome back/good luck. ^^

icomeanon6
July 25th, 2010, 08:03 PM
[Okay, the next one will take less than three months to arrive, I swear. I now have a clear idea of where things are going, and that means less stalling and more writing.

By the way, if you like this story and also like Digimon, why not try my newest fic, Digimon Campaign (http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?p=5982103)? End shameless plug, and now on to the latest chapter.]

5: And thus I Am

Jack Norwood walked out of the visitor’s tent, where the investors were cowering on their bunks. He was glad to finally have an excuse to take his leave from them, even if it was a potentially cataclysmic natural disaster. He was still sketchy on the details, as no doubt his colleagues were as well. He did know that some massive landmass was popping up just on the western coast of the island. This coast included a rocky beach that Sean had spoken very highly of. As Jack recalled, Sean had said that it was the perfect spot for watching a sunset with a hypothetical lady-friend. This made Jack somewhat miffed about how it was now gone forever. ‘Like I’d have the time for a date before I’m old, anyway,’ he thought to himself. ‘Oh well. Guess I ought to give the folks down at the Unqualified Neurotics a call, now.’

Looking up at the storm clouds, he could tell that there was no chance his satellite phone would get a signal. Instead, he walked over to the lab, hoping there was nobody on the radio. Once he walked in, he saw that the place was free of potential eavesdroppers. ‘Good. I hate having to run my thoughts through more than one filter.’

He picked up a headset that was lying on the floor and plugged it into one of the radio’s jacks. He then set the dial to the desired frequency and started speaking. “This is Dr. Norwood, calling from Pallet, Kanto. I repeat: This is Dr. Norwood, calling from Pallet, Kanto.”

A cordial voice answered on the other end. “Good evening, Doctor. I trust you are safe?”

“Very much so, thank you. I need to speak with the Chairman right away.”

“Just a moment. I will notify the chairman immediately.”

Jack heard a shuffling of equipment and footsteps on the other end. He figured it would be a good minute or two until the chairman of the ‘Useless Neanderthals’ could make it to the radio. In the meantime, he let his mind wander. He thought about the beach Sean had described. More specifically, he wondered why his uncommonly antisocial friend had stated that it’d be a great spot for a date. It was completely out of character. Sean was the most unromantic person Jack could think of. Then a thought occurred to him. ‘Could those two…Nah, that’s impossible.’

“You have something to discuss, Dr. Norwood?”

‘Oh, right. My job.’ Jack turned the entirety of his attention back to the matter at hand. “Ah, there you are, Malc. Nice to hear you still alive and acting as the face of the world.”

Jack thought he heard the sound of a bottle of pills being opened on the other end, but he couldn’t be sure. “I’m not in the mood for your insufferable attitude this evening, Doctor. Cut to the chase.”

“Gotcha.” He had had indeed enough frivolous banter at the chairman’s expense. It was time to get down to brass tacks. “Considering the present circumstances, Mr. Chairman, I think we stand to make a most mutually beneficial deal.”

*****

Battling the wind all the way, Pidgey struggled to carry Crowe back to the entrance of the cavern. The weather was worsening, and Crowe figured that they wouldn’t be able to make the trip from Pallet to the edge of the new landmass a third time. He was also worried that he might not be able to find Nathan when they got there. Nathan was currently in a dangerously unstable environment, and the thing that had pretended to be Mew was still around. “Oh damn,” said Crowe aloud, as the gravity of the situation suddenly occurred to him. “That thing is still around.”

He tried not to think about how defenseless Nathan was on his own, and instead kept his eyes peeled for the opening. When they reached it after a few minutes, Pidgey seemed somewhat hesitant to dive into the cavern. It was only with a little coaxing from Crowe that the great bird wheeled down and entered the unnatural cavity. Crowe removed his flashlight from his pocket, and called out as loud as he thought was safe. “Nathan?” No answer. “Nathan!”

Still nothing but an echo. Crowe pointed his light in every direction, but there was simply no sign of Nathan. He wondered if the little troublemaker had returned deeper into the cave. He dismissed the thought, as he didn’t have the time to search extensively for him. He then wondered if the thing disguised as Mew had gotten to him earlier. He told himself repeatedly not even to think about such a terrible prospect, but it seemed to be the most reasonable assumption.

Crowe was lost in thought with his worries for a solid minute, until some chirping from Pidgey snapped him back to the present situation. Pidgey was fidgeting in such a manner that conveyed he urgently wanted to fly out of the cavern. Crowe’s first thought was that Pidgey sensed danger, possibly from the false Mew, but then he noticed that there was no sign of fear in Pidgey’s movements. Pidgey simply thought that it was in Crowe’s best interest to leave the cave. Being out of other ideas, he swung himself onto the bird’s back and let him lead the way.

Pidgey flew out of the dark cavity and into the lighter but still hauntingly dark outside. He circled around the vicinity for half a minute, fighting the wind all the while. His eyes darted around the land in their immediate vicinity, until it spotted what it had been looking for. It started flying down, and halfway there Crowe spotted what Pidgey had as well. It was Nathan. Somehow, he had found another way outside, and was now staring at something in the sky. Whatever it was that had his attention, it wasn’t Pidgey and Crowe, so he was surprised to say the least when the two landed directly behind him. Crowe dismounted, and by this point he had changed from worried to angry. “You’re unbelievable! I told you to stay right where you were, not go outside!”

Nathan glanced nervously over his shoulder, and began to stutter in dissent. “Bu…but…”

“No buts! We’re leaving!” Nathan continued to protest, and Crowe grabbed his left arm. “And I mean now!”

“Just look up there!”

Nathan pointed up and behind him with his right arm. Something in the frightened boy’s eyes made Crowe’s feelings of anger and urgency subside momentarily, and he looked up to where Nathan was pointing. For a few seconds, he couldn’t see anything but whirling storm clouds. And then, in the corner of his eye, he caught a dull purple glow. He stared at it, and wondered why he hadn’t spotted it while he was in the air. Whatever it was, it seemed to be suspended higher than he could have flown with Pidgey in this weather. He continued staring at it, and slowly it seemed to grow larger. Or was it coming closer?

Just then, Crowe’s vision started to blur, and in his mind there flashed a vision of the burning island from all those years ago. He saw a group of Mew lying dead on the ground, having been consumed by the flames. He saw the last one die in his arms, and yet also at his hands. He saw the poor, extinct thing lying with its abdomen open on the operating table. He saw the computer printout that showed him he had killed something indescribably significant. He then saw something he hadn’t seen before: It was an abstract, ghostly vision of something’s genetic code. There was a flood of radiation surrounding it, and soon some of the pieces of the code started breaking apart and reassembling. And then the sight of the genes was replaced with a most terrifying image. It was an unnatural cross between Mew and a human being. It had many of Mew’s feline features, but its gaze was hot with rage.

Crowe’s head was then cleared of the illusions, just in time to see the purple glow land on the ground with a deafening noise. When the dust cleared, the monster from his vision stood but a dozen yards before him. He stood still in shock, and his grip on Nathan’s arm involuntarily loosened. The monster slowly took a step towards them, and then another. Crowe shakily reached into his jacket pocket for his gun. When he brought it out, his entire arm glowed for a split second as a spasm shook his wrist. The gun fell to the ground, and the monster continued stepping closer. Crowe glanced over his shoulder for half a second, and saw that Pidgey was already down and completely paralyzed. He turned back, and the monster was already standing a mere two feet away from him. He took a step backwards in sudden terror, but then heard a voice in his head that he knew belonged to the monster. ‘Stay where you are, you worm.'

Crowe froze.

‘You may have caught me off guard with that stupid toy of a weapon last time, but I was preoccupied with maintaining my disguise. Since you saw right through it, there’s little point in using the mirage now.’

Crowe wanted to grab Nathan and make a run for it, but none of his muscles would respond.

‘My existence shocks you. Your pitiful grasp of science states that it is impossible that I could be standing before you right now. This is arrogance. You understand nothing of the will to power: the innate psychic urge within all things to overcome setbacks and emerge all the stronger. Under the right circumstances, it can prove more potent than you could possibly imagine, and thus I am.’

Crowe didn’t understand, and he didn’t want to. He wanted to flee, but his entire body was numb.

‘It took me years to gather the psychic power to begin my development anew. And now I finally have the chance to take revenge on all of you sniveling little vermin who killed my mother and left me trapped inside her. It’s going to feel especially great carrying out what I have in store for you, Sean Crowe.’

Unknown Legend
July 26th, 2010, 01:00 PM
I haven't read all of this but its really interesting to see how this started in a logical way

-Jared-
August 15th, 2010, 07:00 PM
Wow. Just...wow. This is amazing. I have thoroughly enjoyed this, icomeanon. I can't wait for more!