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Charchic
February 22nd, 2008, 12:12 AM
Pokémon Evil

15+ - This Fanfiction will contain some swearing and violence.

PROLOGUE: THE VIRUS


It was a cold dark night, in the region of Kanto. The sky was a dark shade of blue, and the stars were twinkling above the Earth. The lush green grass was wet with dew and the cities were quiet and empty due to everyone being in their homes. It was in Pewter City were the virus started, Inside a small building.

A man was sitting at a long mahogany desk, the desk was tidy and there was only two large wine glasses on both sides. The man picked up a wine glass and sipped some of the liquid inside it. He then put the glass down and grinned. He had pale skin, sunken in black eyes, and short black hair.

On the other end of the table was another man. This man was taller than the first, this was clearly noticeable as he was standing up,
patting an Arcanine on it’s head. The Arcanine looked proud and happy; it had clean and well groomed tidy fur. The taller man had tanned skin, short brown hair, and light blue eyes. He was grinning coldly.

He sat at a large dark oak chair and picked up one of the wine glasses before drinking some of the red liquid. He then put it down. The other man began to speak.

“So Leo, you are sure this is the right thing to do?” The man with the sunken black eyes asked in a weak cold voice, “You do know, that this could be upon the end of the world. You have seen what this does.”

The other man, known as Leo, nodded. “Yes Mr Jones, we have had to put up with the humans treating us like dirt, ridiculing us because of our ideas, criticising us because of our, believes! But now, they shall pay for all of this!” He lifted up the wine glass, “Now talk no longer! Release the Pidgey! Let them spread the virus among the humans and Pokémon! And let everyone feel the wrath of team Apocalypse!”

The other man known as Mr Jones sighed, before standing up and walking over to two rusty bird cages which were dangling from the dark ceiling covered in cobwebs. In the bird cages were to dead looking Pidgey, lying motionless in the rusty bird cage. They were both covered in bruises and cuts, and they’re eyes were white. Many of their feathers where no longer attached to their bodies, and they were covered in thick red blood.

Mr Jones quickly opened the cage and ran back from it. The bloody Pidgey slowly stood up and looked out of a window two the star filled skies. They then looked at Mr Jones, made a cruel hissing sound, and they flew out of the window. To see them fly was almost shocking, as their wings looked as though they could fall off at any minute. The Arcanine looked confused.

"The time has begun Mr Jones; the virus will affect the entire world! All the humans who ridiculed our experiments will pay! As they all slowly mutate, and die...”


(TO BE CONTINUED)

Cynic Kaka
February 22nd, 2008, 04:45 AM
Can I be in story?

Name Furizaa Pokemon Articuno Lucario and Glaceon as well as Gallade

Rinku
February 22nd, 2008, 08:31 AM
This seems cool. I liked it a lot. It was pretty short, but then again it's just the prologue. Keep going at it!

Trainer Kat
February 22nd, 2008, 09:48 AM
You guys, don't spam up Charchic's thread.

Charchic-It's a nice story. The chapter was relatively short, but it still drew me in. It kind of reminds me of a hybrid between Resident Evil and Pokémon. I'll be coming back for more. :]

There were a few spelling/grammatical errors (in the first paragraph, 'haid' should be 'head'), but all in all, it seems pretty solid.

Charchic
February 22nd, 2008, 01:19 PM
Yes. This is just a quick prologue to get you drawn into the story. No you cannot join this. Next chapter up today. And I will update the prologue.

[UPDATE]

I edited the Prologue. Read it again, enjoy!

Rinku
February 22nd, 2008, 04:21 PM
Trainer Kat: Well, what did you expect? PokemonEVIL!!!! I knew it was going to be related to ResidentEVIL the first time i heard of it. It's kinda obvious. I'm not trying to be mean. Also, I NEVER spam.

Astinus
February 22nd, 2008, 07:49 PM
_skittykittypies_, just add a little more to your reviews next time. You don't have to point out anything wrong, just tell Charchic what you liked specifically about his story.

Furizaa, you now get an official warning for spamming up another thread asking to be in the story. If you want to be in a story, write your own. Stop asking others to place you in when they might not have a need for your character. And your second post wasn't necessary, thus it has been deleted.

Charchic, you get an interested moderator. I just skimmed your prologue, and it looks promising. Plus, bloody Pidgey make me...intrigued. (Happy just sounded wrong.)

Charchic
February 22nd, 2008, 08:00 PM
Haha, I will post up another chapter today or tomorrow, thanks for the post people.

Charchic
February 22nd, 2008, 09:19 PM
CHAPTER ONE: PEWTER CITY

It was a typical night in the city of Pewter. The skies were a dark blue and the white stars were looking down at the Earth. The lush green grass was strangely empty as there was hardly any Pokémon to be seen for miles.

Michael Smith, a young boy aged 15 woke up abruptly to the sound of tapping on his window. His face was tanned and freckled and his eyes were a grass green colour, but currently had a red tinge to them as he has just woken up. He looked around his electric blue painted room; he could not see anything as it was too dark. Michael stood up and stretched. He was only around 5 foot, which was small for his age. He could still hear tapping at his bedroom window. Michael had the curtains covering his bedroom window closed, but slowly began to open them as curiosity took over his mind.

As he pulled them apart he screamed with terror, ran back and fell over something on his bedroom floor, he could not see what it was as the lights were off in his room and it was pitch black. Outside his bedroom, was a small Pidgey, flapping its wings and trying to break through the glass, It was one of the Pidgey that was in the office with Mr Jones and Leo, although Michael did not know this.

As he tried to get up and get balance the Pidgey flew back a little, and as fast as it could, smashed full force into the window. Michael ran for his bedroom door as the Pidgey flew back once more. It was very determined to get inside this room. The Pidgey was covered in thick dark red blood, and the more it smashed into the window, the more blood was splattered across it.

Michael ran out of his bedroom into a small hall, he stopped for a moment to catch his breath. As he placed his hand on his chest, he was suffering from Asthma and could not run for too long. He then noticed a cold draft; this was not because he was only dressed in his boxers and white vest. It was because a window must have been left open during the night. He then realised, his older brother Karl, left his windows slightly open every night. Horrible thoughts then swept Michael’s mind.

He turned around in the hall, instead of going left, which led to the stairs, his mothers bedroom, and the bathroom, he decided to go right, which led to Karl and Anthony’s bedrooms. Michael’s older brothers. He ran into Karl’s bedroom. The window was in fact open. But Karl was fast asleep, snoring heavily. It seemed as though nothing was in the room. Michael then turned the light in Karl’s room on with the flick of a switch, he was a deep sleeper, and so this didn’t wake him up.

He then lent over Karl, to close the bedroom window. As he attempted to close it, he heard a smash come from his room, the Pidgey had got in, he slammed the window closed waking Karl up.

“What the hell’s going on?” Karl asked terrified, he was mixed race like Michael, but looked more black then white. His eyes where dark green, he had short brown hair. Michael looked at him.

“I don’t know, I was just sleeping and then a Pidgey was trying to smash through my window and there was blood everywhere and I
panicked and I just ran!” Michael said tears running down his face.

Karl looked confused, Michael was talking too fast, “Wait a second, you’re saying that. A Pidgey was trying to get in your room?” Karl looked quite amused by the thought of it, as Pidgey were tiny birds.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t any normal Pidgey! It had pure white eyes and its beak looked like it had been smashed with a hammer, it hardly had any feathers and it was covered in blood!” Michael then turned around to the hall, “And it’s in my room right now! Quick we need to get out the house!”

Karl looked around, “Wait, you’re saying it was some sort of evil possessed Pidgey or something?”

“Yeah I guess! Look can we just get out of here!” Michael said wiping the tears from his face.

“Alright, I’ll get Anthony; you go and wake up our mum. And make sure you get all of our Pokémon.” Karl said slowly getting out of bed.
Michael nodded and ran to his mother’s room. Karl was dressed only in boxers and a white vest like Michael; he knelt down and got a baseball bat from under his bed. Karl then walked towards Michael’s bedroom, and not Anthony’s as he promised.

As he slowly turned the door handle the door began to creak open. Karl gave it a small push with his foot and then stepped back. As the door was nearly almost fully open, Karl could not see anything inside. It looked like the Pidgey must of left, and then in a moment of panic he swung his bat and smacked it to the ground as the Pidgey screeched loudly and flew at him.

Michael ran out his mother’s bedroom. “Karl! What did you do? Close the door now and kick that thing back inside there! There could be more of them!” Michael was followed out the room by his tired looking mother. She has tanned skin like Michael, and bright sea blue eyes, she also had long blond hair.

She then pointed at the Pidgey which was on the floor, “What the hell is that? And what’s it doing in my house? Get it out! Get it out now!” She said screaming in terror, there was blood now splattered on Michael’s door. Karl pushed the Pidgey back into the room with his baseball bat before grabbing the door handle and slamming the door shut, their mother nodded; then looked at Michael, “Right. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know! I was sleeping, then this evil Pidgey tried to get into my bedroom and after I got out it smashed the window and Karl opened the door like an idiot!” Michael said hugging his mother who was wearing pink pyjamas with yellow Pichu all over them.

“Well I only went in there to kill it; it would have got out anyway. Eventually...” Karl said frowning at Michael. Anthony then walked out his bedroom; he was wearing plain green pyjamas. Anthony was also tanned with short blond hair. He had blue eyes like his mother.

“What’s going on?” He asked before yawning. He then noticed the blood on Michael’s door and began to hold his forehead. He felt as though he was going to be sick.

“I’m not saying this again!” Michael said annoyed, “Mum, we need to get out of Pewter City! Or can be go to Brock’s gym? I’m sure Brock will be able to shelter us!”

“I don’t know Michael, first everyone get into my room. We need to see what’s really going on and see if it is anything to panic about.” Their mother said before walking into her room and switching her lights on. Her room was painted pink and she had a light brown oak
floor. She had a double bed with red sheets; in her bedroom was a television.

“Mum! There was an evil Pidgey in my bedroom! I think we now this is something to panic about!” Michael said angrily.

“Yes I know, but we still need to see what the news says. It will tell us what to do, where to go and stuff. Now come on sit on the bed.”

TO BE CONTINUED.

New Age Retro Hippie
February 22nd, 2008, 09:32 PM
Hm, this is indeed interesting. There were a few grammar blips like this:


Outside his bedroom, was a small Pidgey, flapping its wings and trying to break through the glass, It was one of the Pidgey that was in the office with Mr Jones and Leo, although Michael did not know this.

That should be a full stop.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t no normal Pidgey! It had pure white eyes and its beak looked like it had been smashed with a hammer, it hardly had no feathers and it was covered in blood!”
I am going to assume that is the way Micheal speaks, because that is a double negative.

Though I have not seen the Resident Evil series, this particular fic intrigues me. The fact that the mother wants to see the news instead of run is very "adult" ^.^;. I think you could've fleshed this out more, and made it a little more dramatic by perhaps shortening the sentences. I didn't really get an insight to Michael's mind, perhaps you could work on the empathy.

Overall, an interesting fic that I'll keep my eyes on.

Charchic
February 22nd, 2008, 10:17 PM
Thanks for the post. And yes that is how Michael is supposed to talk. I didn't want to make the fanfiction too dramatic at the start because then for the next chapter I would have to make it even more dramatic etc. But thanks for the post :D.

(EDIT)

I change the:

“Yeah, but it wasn’t no normal Pidgey! It had pure white eyes and its beak looked like it had been smashed with a hammer, it hardly had no feathers and it was covered in blood!”

To:

“Yeah, but it wasn’t any normal Pidgey! It had pure white eyes and its beak looked like it had been smashed with a hammer, it hardly had any feathers and it was covered in blood!”

Plus, you will get to know Michael and the rest of his family more during the next chapter. Because this fanfiction is not focusing only on Michael, it focuses on the rest of his family too.

(EDIT AGAIN)

If you are all reading this, can you please rate my fanfiction on how good you think it is please. Thanks.