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Soul Eater
March 17th, 2008, 12:49 PM
I know, the topic title for the fanfiction sucks but its my favorite pokemon fanfiction that's ever been successful! 8D It's not very good since I'm kind of suffering from slight writer's block. I know my grammar and wording needs work too, so that's not a new thing either.

Once I get all the chapters together I'll edit this post so you can have easier access.

I hope I did this write, I havent posted a fanfiction on here in so long. XD

Anyway, here is my first chapter:

Chapter 1: Who needs you?

It was always plan after plan to catch Pikachu, a rare pokemon that was highly prized by non other than, Jessie and James had been after for so long; they always failed their plans and they were getting impatient.

“Why don’t you let me come up with the plans for once?” Jesse told James.

“Your ideas never work!” He snapped.

“How do you know? I bet my ideas are more brilliant than yours! You never let me try my ideas!”

“I know well enough that they failure. Only the genius comes up with better plans!” James replied; he brushed his fingers on his shirt.

“Grrr, genius my a-”

“You twos better stop it now. This is going nowhere!” Meowth broke in.

“Quiet Meowth! This has nothing to do with you,” Jesse kicked him into the bushes, “You know what? I quit!”

“Fine, I quit too!” James crawled into the bushes.

James sat among the bushes; he noticed Meowth crawling out.

“At least you haven’t left me yet,” James replied, in a sad tone.

Meowth was confused, “What’s with you?”

“Nothing, we’re going to go find that stupid twerp and come up with our own plan for Pikachu.”

“Can we really do it without Jesse?”

James frowned, “No.”

“Why can’t you show her what you can do on your own?” Meowth suggested.

“It’s not as easy as you think it is, Meowth. I don’t know if you understand or not but I’m in love with her.” He confessed.

“Whaaaat?! Are you serious James?” Meowth was very surprised.

“I could never tell her. I wouldn’t know how to tell her and I guess I am kind of stubborn to tell her what I feel.” He tried to hold back his tears.

“I’ll be right back, okay? I’m sure Jesse needs a friend too.”

“You’re leaving me?” He cried.

“I’ll comes back later, I promise!”

Meowth found Jesse sitting up on a tree branch; she looked as if she had been crying.

“Jesse, do you want to talk?”

“Why would I talk to someone as low-lived as you?” She frowned.

“Come on,”

Jesse jumped off the branch; she didn’t show her tears or her face, “He’s so stupid.”

“Is that really how you feel?”

Jesse’s cheeks turned red, “What?! What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know, I just thought maybe you had feelings for him.”

“D-Don’t be ridiculous…I don’t need him! I can do things on my own!”

“I’d like to see you try!”

“To protect the world from devastation, to unite all people within…oh, who am I kidding? You are right I cant do this myself.”

“Why don’t you tell him how you feels?”

“I don’t feel anything for that idiot!” She lied but her red cheeks were a dead giveaway.

Meowth snickered, “If you don’t have feelings for him, why do yous keep blushing?”

“Quiet, you! Just because I like him doesn’t mean I…GRRRR.” Jesse folded her arms angrily.

“You twos were meant for a each other. If yous weren’t, the boss wouldn’t have made yous a team, right?”

Jesse felt a tear run down her cheek; she couldn’t ignore her feelings and yet she couldn’t bring herself to tell James what her feelings really were. Jesse was afraid of getting her heart broken; she also thought that if they did tell each other how they felt, they wouldn’t keep the team going very much.

What will happen to Jesse and James next? Will they ever get back together? Will they ever express their true feelings? Find out in the next chapter!

Alli
March 20th, 2008, 05:34 PM
Well. I love RocketShipping. <3

Anyway...ummm...this is a lot, and I mean a lot of dialogue. X.x

A little description. Where are they? Virdian Forest? Paris? The moon?

And actions would be nice...also, if you spell something one way, the next time you use that word/name, spell it the same. You've got 'Jessie' up around the top...but you've got 'Jesse' throughout the chapter, and that's typically the male spelling.

More length would be nice. You've got plenty of dialogue, you just need description and action, as mentioned.

One other thing...James didn't seem to hold back telling Meowth. X.x Just came straight out with it. I dunno about you, but I sure wouldn't just admit to that kinda thing directly under pressure like that. But it's your fic. I'll be tuning in.