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View Full Version : (FFC) Prompt: Rain - teh journey of Harrison!!


Astinus
March 27th, 2008, 10:52 AM
Hey, look! A story by Astinus! Read it.

Title: teh journey of Harrison!!
Rating: G
Warnings: None really, unless you said something that found its way into this fic. So don't read unless easily offended? o_O Oh, and there's two mentions of Legendary Pokemon excretion. :p
Notes: Constructive criticism? For this? Not needed. And future apologies if anyone is offended. I really don't care either way, but I do enjoy covering my arse.

-

It was raining that day.

That was what Harrison told everyone when they asked him: that it rained the day he received his first Pokemon. They told him that he was trying too hard to be different and asked if he also woke up early. Couldn't they just accept the fact that rain had fallen for the simple fact that weather is unpredictable? That just because Harrison started his journey the day it rained didn't have any factoring on his character?

But it did rain. And he didn't wake up early or late or not at all. He woke up in perfect time to get ready for his last day of school. Pokemon trainers still needed some sort of education, you know? It wasn't just about Pokemon even. Harrison could read, thank you very much.

School was boring, Harrison hated it, and he wanted it all to end. He didn't pay attention anyways that day. It's not like he was going to come back. He was going to be a Pokemon Master! Whatever that was. No one knew, no one wanted to find out, but it sounded good as a goal to tell others. "I'm going to be a Pokemon Master!" And they would all ooo and aaah and wonder what did that mean.

That should be taught in school. Instead of being taught that you are fitting some stereotype by starting your journey in the rain even though you're trying not to fit in another stereotype.

Harrison scratched his head. He wanted to get his starting Pokemon.

"C'mon, Harrison!" Morrison ordered. Morrison was one of Harrison's best friends. People said that Morrison looked like someone from the past, but Harrison had no idea what that meant. Morrison was Morrison, and that was all that mattered.

Tyson, the last member of the trio, grinned at the two. Harrison wondered if the three of them became friends only because of their names. It didn't matter. Anything could happen, and no one could say anything because giant guns provided no answers.

"Morrison," Tyson said, "it doesn't matter how fast we get there. Professor Birch will hold our Pokemon for us." With that said, the three left the school yard.

Yes, Harrison and his friends were receiving their starting Pokemon from the local professor of Pokemon. It meant that their Pokemon won't be anything different from what other starting trainers from Littleroot received. But why go through all the trouble of getting some different *special* Pokemon just so people won't hate you as much.

Did Harrison feel excitement as he walked to the lab? Or was he one of those people who hated Pokemon for no clear reason than to just appear edgy? Well, Harrison just felt happy. Though his brown hair hung down wet in his blue-green eyes, and his blue tee-shirt clung clammy to his torso, he was still happy and felt like the sun was shinning on him.

He looked up at the sky, wondering why he was thinking about the way he looked. A big raindrop plopped into his eye.

He smiled, though his eye stung. (It was rumored that the dirty-smelling rain was actually Kyogre pee. Oh, his eye was going to burn for a while.) He was getting his starter Pokemon today! If he could find the lab in all the rain (or pee). He kept his eyes on Morrison's broad red ki-covered back. And of course Tyson was wearing that long green coat that just barely dragged the ground. They made quite a group. Two were tall, one was short; two were skinny, one was on the chubby side.

Boy, Morrison sure was strange. He should chase more sandwiches - or did he eat rice balls? - than he ate.

Morrison whirled on him. Harrison blinked. Did he laugh out loud?

"Let's race to the lab! Last one there buys me lunch!" Morrison charged ahead.

Tyson crossed his arms over his chest. "There's a bet we don't want to lose. Though I am hungry."

"Didn't we just eat lunch?" Harrison asked.

Tyson shrugged.

As the boys continued walking, Harrison figured that he was the only normal one. Then again, Tyson and Morrison always said that they just never fit in with the rest of the Littleroot citizens. They felt like they were just plopped into Littleroot.

Birch's lab rose up before them. Morrison was standing in the doorway, trying to keep dry.

"There you guys are! C'mon!" Morrison yelled. He stomped his foot. Harrison was the last to enter the lab. He was always the last one of the trio. People tended to forget about him, except to insult him. He would prefer to just be left alone.

Prof. Birch greeted the boys. "Hello, you three. Your Pokemon are in those Pokeballs on the table."

The three looked at the table. Three red-and-white spheres sat labeled on it. The boys looked back at Prof. Birch. He said nothing more.

Harrison shrugged. It's not like Prof. Birch needed to say anything else. He wasn't really important. Harrison would never come in contact with the man again, completely forgetting about him even though Prof. Birch helped him start his trainer's journey.

Besides, wasn't that what all trainers did? Forget about everyone they ever met. Except for the love interests.

Love interest? At the age of ten? Harrison threw up in his mouth a little.

When he swallowed the bile, he looked towards the table. Morrison and Tyson were already deciding which Pokeball to grab. Of course Harrison was going to be the last one to get his starting Pokemon because he stood here over-analyzing the situation because it made him seem so much smartor.

Of course.

He walked over to the table and picked up the last Pokeball. Then he looked around the lab. Prof. Birch had randomly disappeared. It's not like it mattered if he still existed or not. He did his job.

"Aren't we supposed to get Pokedexes?" Tyson asked.

Harrison blinked at him. "What are those?"

"I dunno. I just thought that all starting trainers, no matter the age or region, got one."

"Why would we need one?"

Morrison said nothing. Morrison only talked about either food or competition. Morrison had no other aspects to his personality because no one wanted to break big guns. (Harrison could swear that the day Tyson and Morrison arrived in Littleroot Town there was a rather large explosion, but no one cared.)

Tyson answered, "Because it's a Pokemon world and no one knows what a Pokemon is even though we lived with them all our lives."

Sure, Harrison bought that explanation.

"C'mon, guys! Let's see what Pokemon we got!" Morrison exclaimed.

Harrison gave him a look. (You know the one!) "But Morrison, we know what Pokemon we got. The Pokeballs are labeled. See, you have Mudkip since that Pokemon is popular like you; Tyson has Treecko because that Pokemon is so awesome and everyone wants one, just like everyone wants to be like Tyson; and I have Torchic, since it's so generic, like me! Wait..." Harrison scratched his head. Sure he was generic and boring and plain, but he was the one telling this story, right? Well that had to count for something. He had the suspicion that he would regret it.

"All right!" Morrison cheered. "I'll be the first one at the Gym in Rustboro!" He released his Mudkip from the Pokeball and dashed out of the lab, blue mud fish behind him.

Tyson laughed. "I'm going to have supper first before I leave. Let's go, Treecko!" With his own Pokemon out of the Pokeball (Treecko's a green wood gecko Pokemon. Wait for the Pokedex to get invented before more description comes along. Besides, Treecko wasn't important.)

Harrison looked at the Pokeball in his hand. He figured that he should release Torchic and become acquainted so the two could become best buddies. And then Harrison could treat his Pokemon as if it were human and everyone would look at him as if he were some kind of weirdo.

Wait. Torchic was male. Gotta give Pokemon genders, but to capitalize the names of the species? Oh heavens no!

"Torchic, go!" Harrison popped the Pokeball open. In a brilliant flash of light, Torchic appeared. The chick pokemon... The Chick Pokemon (Get over it.) stood approximately at 1' 04" (that's one foot, four inches) and weighed exactly 5.5 pounds. It...uh...He was orange.

There's your description.

Harrison turned to leave the lab.

"Tor!" Torchic chirped.

With a smack to his forehead, Harrison remembered that it was raining outside.

Unforgettable
March 27th, 2008, 11:26 AM
Aww I love it!! It was interesting. XD
There were a few minor typos like misspelling, but other than that it was good. XD
YAY Hanabanako!!! Oh, you need a new nickname...^^:

bobandbill
March 27th, 2008, 11:30 PM
Notes: Constructive criticism? For this? Not needed.
For starters, I'm ignoring this message. ;)

Heh, not bad. Good incorporation of the whole 'Rain' thing - you kept that idea consistant throughout, including the ending.

The 'breaking the forth wall' comments, such as about the Pokemon genders were funny and interesting too, but I do feel that they appeared far more often in the second half of the chapter (or story?) than in the first half - seemed odd that they were mainly introduced there. Still, good work. Characters were interesting and established well - good introduction of them. And the small comments, such as the one concerning Prof Birch in particular struck a chord with me, as I've thought that myself, and were nice to read. It was enjoyable in its own quiet way - it felt like you conveyed what you wanted to.

School was boring, Harrison hated it, and he wanted it all to end. He didn't pay attention anyways that day. It's not like he was going to come back. He was going to be a Pokemon Master! Whatever that was. No one knew, no one wanted to find out, but it sounded good as a goal to tell others. "I'm going to be a Pokemon Master!" And they would all ooo and aaah and wonder what did that mean.
Nice. :) The last sentence falt a little bare though, not nesserary or anything but maybe an 'really' before mean or some word like that somewhere to make that sentecne feel less 'thought-up-on-the-spot'.



Instead of being taught that you are fitting some stereotype by starting your journey in the rain even though you're trying not to fit in another stereotype. The double use of sterotype... just feels a bit uncomfortable. A a bit confusing because of it as well, I do admitt. Probably could have been worded better.


It meant that their Pokemon won't be anything different from what other starting trainers from Littleroot received. But why go through all the trouble of getting some different *special* Pokemon just so people won't hate you as much?
Feels that a question mark is more warrented than a full stop there.


Though his brown hair hung down wet in his blue-green eyes, and his blue tee-shirt clung clammy to his torso, he was still happy and felt like the sun was shining on him.

He looked up at the sky, wondering why he was thinking about the way he looked. A big raindrop plopped into his eye.

Nice description here - quite nice, as well as his 'second thought' about feeling like the sun was 'shining' on him, rather than shinning BTW.
Also interesting remark about the Kyogre's piss part. :)
Love interest? At the age of ten? Harrison threw up in his mouth a little.
Nice reference there to the countless shipping fics. :)
(Treecko's a green wood gecko Pokemon. Wait for the Pokedex to get invented before more description comes along. Besides, Treecko wasn't important.)
Wait. Torchic was male. Gotta give Pokemon genders, but to capitalize the names of the species? Oh heavens no!
I liked these sort of comments. Nice and amusing.

Overall, good job. It was interesting and enjoyable in it's own little way.

Oh, and BTW, while I'm here, sorry for calling you a male beforehand - hadn't checked at the time and had been in a rush...

Astinus
March 28th, 2008, 12:22 PM
Yeah, this story was pretty much unedited from the time that I scribbled the first sentence in math class to the time that I posted it here. Which is why there were typos and what-not throughout this fic. I was just getting rather tired of it sitting in my notebook or on my LJ, so I finally just posted it to get it out of the way.

As for the fourth-wall comments in the second half, the reason behind that is that in the beginning, I had no idea what I wanted this fic to say. I just kept writing, and that's how things came out. Besides, this is probably the last parody fic that I'll write, and it's also the first, so that's why it blows so hard and why I really didn't care.

But I do appreciate the comments. Hopefully I can get reviews like this when I post my serious fics!

Saffire Persian
March 29th, 2008, 12:20 PM
Kyogre pee... that's a very interesting way to think of rain. XD

Anyway, I enjoyed this--it was the first time I actually got to see you write something. Well, other than that Digimon excerpt. I can't really seem to find anything to criticize (but then again, this fic doesn't really need that.) I was actually expecting there to be a girl as the third member of the trio :0 but we got Tyson instead! Oh well, Harrison's Love Interest will come Along and sweep him off his feet after he rescues her from Team Aqua or something.

Oh, wait! I do have one thing I can criticize!!

Pokemon

Where's teh ACCENT?!(Interrobang!) Not only must you Capitalize the Pokémanz's names, but you must put an accent on the E as well.

ANNNNND the Gate is Down, always down. And the Game is a Lie.

Sydian
March 29th, 2008, 12:25 PM
This is nice. At least it's not one of those annoying fics about starting a journey(those bug me). This one's actually worth reading. ^^

He smiled, though his eye stung. (It was rumored that the dirty-smelling rain was actually Kyogre pee. Oh, his eye was going to burn for a while.) He was getting his starter Pokemon today! If he could find the lab in all the rain (or pee).

Interesting. Very interesting. I'll be reading more about the Kyogre urination in the future.

Astinus
March 29th, 2008, 12:49 PM
Thanks, Saff!

I know about the accent. I would have put in on there, but I didn't type this on Word, which auto-formats. (I should ban myself right now.)

As for Harrison's love interest...well, I have plans for her. She just needs to finish her own journey! Unfortunately, in my verse, Team Aqua doesn't exist anymore.

Kyogre pee came about due to lack of sleep and being bored in class.

Now I really need to find good quotes from Speaker For the Dead. It's my favorite book and all, and yet there's nothing quote-worthy in it that I've found yet. Except for things that only make me giggle. (Like Andy wearing three sweaters. That always gets me when I read it.)

-

To Silver, this is a one-shot, which means that there's no continuation for this. So that means no more Kyogre pee, unless I can find a way to sneak it into my serious fic.

But Harrison will be making a come-back. He's my favorite canon character, and there's no way that he's escaping my wrath.

Saffire Persian
March 29th, 2008, 04:41 PM
I know about the accent. I would have put in on there, but I didn't type this on Word, which auto-formats. (I should ban myself right now.)

You know, that was pretty much said in jest... o.0

Now I really need to find good quotes from Speaker For the Dead. It's my favorite book and all, and yet there's nothing quote-worthy in it that I've found yet. Except for things that only make me giggle. (Like Andy wearing three sweaters. That always gets me when I read it.)

I recall a bit of quote-worthy dialogue from the end of the the book. Can't remember the exact words, but when Ender and this other person were talking about the Piggies...erm.. "birthing" process, and how they should change it somehow to reflect their way or life, and Ender responded by suggesting a scenario where they instead forced the birthing process of the Piggies on the human population in the "How would you like it if we went around changing your culture" sort of tone. That part stuck out t'me.

Sydian
March 29th, 2008, 05:11 PM
To Silver, this is a one-shot, which means that there's no continuation for this. So that means no more Kyogre pee, unless I can find a way to sneak it into my serious fic.

Once again, me not paying attention...it's always you who points it out, too. O.o

But...I miss the Kyogre pee. ;-;

Astinus
March 29th, 2008, 07:41 PM
You know, that was pretty much said in jest... o.0

Saff, I don't use emoticons anymore, so my tone doesn't come across easy on the forums. I was joking as well. When someone starts joking, I as well start joking. And I never take anything seriously anymore. So, unless I'm doing official moderator business, I'm relaxed and willing to laugh.

Ah, and the opening dialogue of chapter thirteen is an instant win for laughs. I'll have to see if there are any other poignant parts. (I mostly just start looking for humorous quotes, then go on to find serious ones.)

But...I miss the Kyogre pee. ;-;
If my main character for my other Pokemon fanfiction meets up with Kyogre, she's immature enough to mention pee. So the Kyogre pee will probably make a return.

Sydian
March 30th, 2008, 07:00 AM
If my main character for my other Pokemon fanfiction meets up with Kyogre, she's immature enough to mention pee. So the Kyogre pee will probably make a return.

Yes!

Wait, so if there's a landslide or something...does that mean it's Groudon feces?

Sike_Saner
April 3rd, 2008, 02:21 PM
All right, now I already told you part of what I liked about this. Now here's everything I liked about it:

That was what Harrison told everyone when they asked him: that it rained the day he received his first Pokemon. They told him that he was trying too hard to be different and asked if he also woke up early. Couldn't they just accept the fact that rain had fallen for the simple fact that weather is unpredictable? That just because Harrison started his journey the day it rained didn't have any factoring on his character?

Heh, yeah. I don't know why anyone assumes that every little thing in a story must surely be symbolic. Sure, maybe some out there have used rain that way, but that doesn't mean that everyone who uses it is always doing so for that sort of purpose. XP

He woke up in perfect time to get ready for his last day of school. Pokemon trainers still needed some sort of education, you know? It wasn't just about Pokemon even. Harrison could read, thank you very much.

Things mattering even thoguh they don't have to do with Pokémon? What a radical concept! :o

Heh, that part also made me think of how much it amuses me when I see the prefix "Poké" added to things that have nothing to do with training, coordinating, breeding, or otherwise dealing with Pokémon. XP

He was going to be a Pokemon Master! Whatever that was. No one knew, no one wanted to find out, but it sounded good as a goal to tell others. "I'm going to be a Pokemon Master!" And they would all ooo and aaah and wonder what did that mean.

Hey yeah, what does it mean? XD

"C'mon, Harrison!" Morrison ordered. Morrison was one of Harrison's best friends. People said that Morrison looked like someone from the past, but Harrison had no idea what that meant. Morrison was Morrison, and that was all that mattered.

Tyson, the last member of the trio, grinned at the two. Harrison wondered if the three of them became friends only because of their names.

XD

He smiled, though his eye stung. (It was rumored that the dirty-smelling rain was actually Kyogre pee. Oh, his eye was going to burn for a while.) He was getting his starter Pokemon today! If he could find the lab in all the rain (or pee).

I couldn't help laughing at that, especially with regards to the "rain (or pee)" part. XD

He kept his eyes on Morrison's broad red ki-covered back. And of course Tyson was wearing that long green coat that just barely dragged the ground.

One wears red, one wears green, and (as was mentioned earlier in the story) one wears blue. Nice. XD

Boy, Morrison sure was strange. He should chase more sandwiches - or did he eat rice balls? - than he ate.

Ah, the whole rice ball/sandwich thing (and, if I recall correctly, they were also referred to as "donuts" at one point in the dub). XD I liked seeing that referenced here.

Prof. Birch greeted the boys. "Hello, you three. Your Pokemon are in those Pokeballs on the table."

The three looked at the table. Three red-and-white spheres sat labeled on it. The boys looked back at Prof. Birch. He said nothing more.

Harrison shrugged. It's not like Prof. Birch needed to say anything else. He wasn't really important. Harrison would never come in contact with the man again, completely forgetting about him even though Prof. Birch helped him start his trainer's journey.

But of course! Everyone knows that Pokémon professors are nothing more than vending machines from which new trainers get their starters! XP Ah, poor professors...

Besides, wasn't that what all trainers did? Forget about everyone they ever met. Except for the love interests.

Love interest? At the age of ten? Harrison threw up in his mouth a little.

XD THANK YOU. *applauds*

Of course Harrison was going to be the last one to get his starting Pokemon because he stood here over-analyzing the situation because it made him seem so much smartor.

XD

"Aren't we supposed to get Pokedexes?" Tyson asked.

Harrison blinked at him. "What are those?"

"I dunno. I just thought that all starting trainers, no matter the age or region, got one."

"Why would we need one?"

Morrison said nothing. Morrison only talked about either food or competition. Morrison had no other aspects to his personality because no one wanted to break big guns. (Harrison could swear that the day Tyson and Morrison arrived in Littleroot Town there was a rather large explosion, but no one cared.)

Tyson answered, "Because it's a Pokemon world and no one knows what a Pokemon is even though we lived with them all our lives."

I still love this part. XD And that last line still also makes me think of the notion of how Pokémon must always be described in meticulous detail every single time they're mentioned because all readers need explicit instructions on how to mentally picture any given Pokémon or else they'll surely start running around in circles in their panic and confusion. XP

But Morrison, we know what Pokemon we got. The Pokeballs are labeled. See, you have Mudkip since that Pokemon is popular like you; Tyson has Treecko because that Pokemon is so awesome and everyone wants one, just like everyone wants to be like Tyson; and I have Torchic, since it's so generic, like me!

I'm also amused by the notion that the Pokémon someone has is always a statement about what kind of a character that person is, which is what that part there brought to my mind. XD

Wait. Torchic was male. Gotta give Pokemon genders, but to capitalize the names of the species? Oh heavens no!

XD

The chick pokemon... The Chick Pokemon (Get over it.) stood approximately at 1' 04" (that's one foot, four inches) and weighed exactly 5.5 pounds.

Gotta love those descriptions that include the exact height and weight of whatever's being described! XP


So yeah, funny stuff there. ^^

Kyogre pee came about due to lack of sleep and being bored in class.

I always thought Kyogre pee came about due to Kyogre drinking too much Mountain Dew. o.o[/badjoke]

Yes!

Wait, so if there's a landslide or something...does that mean it's Groudon feces?

There is a Fleetwood Mac song that I may never hear the same way again because of that question... XD