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View Full Version : In the Mokta Region..


Ris
April 3rd, 2008, 07:01 PM
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 - Welcome Home
Chapter 2 - Goodbye!

This has been rated PG-13 for the following reasons:
High Suggestive Themes
Mild Violence


Chapter 1 - Welcome Home

It was an exciting day for Marie. She was moving to the Mokta region! Knowing that she became 12, she was the required age for her to begin catching and using Pokemon! It was also her birthday. Her mother yelled, "Marie! It's time to go!" Marie came skipping to the kitchen, with everything packed. "I can't wait until we get there!" said Marie. "Well, the plane ride will be six hours. Don't expect to get Pokemon too fast." said her mother. Marie's parents were divorced, and they were moving because Marie wanted to be living closer to her father, and wanted Pokemon badly. Out of the door, and in the car, Marie and her mother drove to the airport. On the way there, Marie thought. "Can I catch Pokemon? Will this be a fun adventure?" She dozed off on the ride to the airport, but her mother woke her up once they got there. Marie jumped out and ran to the doors. Her mother laughed and said, "You sure are excited!" They waited in line to send in their tickets, and checked for metal. Marie jumped in the airplane and found her seat, next to her mother. She got the window seat. The intercom went on. "We will be leaving in a minute. Please fasten your seat belts for the takeoff. I will report to you when you may unbuckle." Everyone fastened her seatbelt, as the plane took off. She glanced her last over her hometown in Tipalga City. She knew she wouldn't seen this place again, but she was so excited. She went to sleep again, and she had a dream. She was in a world of unknown Pokemon, living as she was one. But her mother woke her up with an excited look. She pointed out the window. Marie looked, and she didn't believe what she saw! "It's a flock of Pokemon!" They were Pidgeys and Pidgeottos, however Marie didn't know. She was happy enough until it time to land, where she bursted with gladness! As they got out of the plane, they got their suitcases and began heading for their new home. They were going to be living in a town called Titap Town, a cute little town with friendly citizens. When they came in, they were glad to see People walking with Pokemon. It was one of the most amazing sights Marie has ever seen. She was staring off into the skies when her mother pulled her arm. "Marie! If you want to get some Pokemon, we need to get to our house and get settled!" Her mother entered the house, which the normal human would say it was a pretty house. She flipped on the lights, and she was happy with what she saw. The house was amazing! Her mother knew Marie was excited, and told her, "I called a professor that lived in this town. His name is Professor Maple. He said if you pass the test, he will give you a cute, adorable Pokemon. You can go over there once we put our clothes away." Marie said, "Thank you so much, Mom!" She gave her a hug and began to take clothes out. Marie was on the neat side, but some people say she is really perky, which was nothing she was ashamed of. Once she was done with the clothes, she went outside to find Professor Maple. She saw a sign that said "Professor Maple's Research Center", and she assumed it was the place where he was. When she came in, she saw many scientists examining Pokemon, however, one of them was creating some machine. Marie asked the scientist if she could take a look at it, and he said, "Sure. This machine will enter information for each Pokemon you catch, and you can view it at any time you want to. It's called a PokeDex." Marie nodded and said, "Interesting..." Then she completely changed the subject and asked, "Where is Professor Maple?" The scientist replied, "On the third floor. You can take the elevator if you wish to see him." Marie skipped to the elevator and pressed 3. When she got there, she found more scientists, however one had five Ball shaped items. Marie came to him and asked, "Are you Albert Maple?" Professor Maple put his glasses up and said, "Yes. Why do you ask?" She began to explain. "Well, I am Marie-" "Ah. I see you want your PokeMon?" Interrupted Professor Maple. Marie nodded. "Ok. Let's begin the test. First question. Name five types of PokeMon." Marie though for a moment and said, "Water, Ground, Grass, Fire, Bug." Maple said, "Correct! Next question. Well, this one is sort of a riddle. What flies, pecks, eats bugs, and is normal type?" Marie immediately remembered the flying birds on the plane and said, "Pidgey!" Maple said, "CORRRRRRECT! Last question! What is the most important thing you should do for your Pokemon?" Marie said, "Take care of it!" Maple said, "Good! Now pick one of the Poke balls. Each one contains a Pokemon within. From left to right there is Pidgey, Pichu, Turtwig, Bulbasaur, Azurill." Marie thought for a moment and chose.......

Pidodajsdisa!

Find out what she chooses in the next chapter!

~Ris


~

Ris
April 3rd, 2008, 10:09 PM
Marie stood there and didn't know which one. She thought of the types of them, and her favorite was water and psychic. After about ten minutes of silence, Marie made up her mind. She said, "Azurill!" Maple was surprised at her choice. Maple handed her the Pokeball. "Azurill will evolve into Marill with care and loving, and Marill will evolve into Azumarill." Marie wanted to go play with Azurill, so she left. She went home to tell her mother the one she had picked. "Hey, Mom! Look what I've got!" Her mother sat down and watched. Marie threw the pokeball, and Azurill came out. By the look of it, This Azurill was a she, which was uncommon because most of the lab testing was done on male Pokemon. Azurill seemed like a nice companion, and it seemed to like Marie. It bounced around in circles, with a smile on her face. Marie looked at it as if it was her own child, and put it back into the ball. Maple also had given Marie 1,000 credits that they use in the Mokta region. Marie decided she would evenly spend her credits among things for Azurill and her future Pokemon. Maple had also given her 3 pokeballs. Marie went to the shoppe and bought a few things. She bought two pokeballs, both for 100 each. Also she bought 5 potions, which were 150. She had 50 credits left as she walked out of the store with her new equipment. As she began walking back to her house, Maple called her name. "Marie! Marie! I have something for you!" Marie ran into the research center to see Maple holding a unique machine. "This is our newest invention, the PokeDex. My son, Robert helped me build it. Robert can help you on your Pokemon adventure also." Marie looked confused. "So... what is this PokeDex thing?" Professor Maple replied, "I believe a scientist might of told you on the first floor." Marie thought for a moment, and then realized. "Oh, yes! It registers a Pokemon and it's information when you catch one!" Maple nodded, and handed the PokeDex to her. "Keep it. Don't worry, we can make plenty more. We've still got the blueprints." Marie thanked her and Robert and left back to home. Marie told her mother everything, and she thought for a moment. "Marie. You can fulfill your dreams. Go out into the Pokemon world. Catch what you want. Don't worry about me back at home. You can come back whenever you want. But come back at least once a year, and when your dreams are fulfilled, come back home and live here in Titap Town again. I want to make sure you're in my life." Marie's mood turned more neutral. "Are...Are you serious?" Her mother replied, "Yes, of course. I know you can take care of your Pokemon and they can take care of you. You'll always be safe surrounded by them." Marie said, "Ok. I love you mom!" She hugged her mother and said goodbye to everyone in town. Right as she was leaving, Maple ran and stopped her. "I want you to take Robert with you." Marie said, "OK. Have a nice time here, Professor!" Maple smiled and went back to the center. When they left the town, Marie decided to make a decision. She wanted to change her name. As they were walking through the grass, they found a tree stump. Robert was tall for his age, he was 13. Marie said, "Jacqueline, Tina, Titania-" "Amanda!" interrupted Robert. Marie nodded and thought. "Yes! That's perfect!" She even did look like an Amanda. Amanda has long brown hair, with mint green eyes, and a nice face. Robert had shaggy brown hair, that hanged over his ears, with blue eyes. Robert also decided he wanted to change his name also. He began saying, "Tom, George, Tony-" "Zachary!" Interrupted Amanda. They both loved it and they decided it. Before she knew it, Amanda's birthday was only a a day away! She was going to be a teenager, and that meant a lot for someone like her. As they got up from the tree stump, they saw something move in some grass. They approached slowly, and came to find a mother Pidgeotto with it's Pidgeys. Pidgeotto jumped up, and began to come closer to Amanda and Zach. They quickly ran, heading to the next city, Makilio City.

Chapter 3 - I'm Bigger, Amanda!

As they approached Makilio City, which was only a mile away, they decided to take out their pokemon for a playtime. Zach had a Pidgey, and he was caring for it properly, too. Amanda let Azurill out and gave it a protein, with added flavor. Azurill liked lemon-lime, and that's what Amanda got her. After she was done feeding her some berries, Azurill began to shine. Amanda jumped back, and asked, "What's... What's happening?" A few seconds later, there was no Azurill! Azurill had evolved to Marill! Marill jumped all over Amanda in loving prettiness. Zach said, "Azurill just evolved into Marill. You must of been taking good care of it." Amanda nodded, and hugged Marill. They got up and finished their way to Makilio City. All of a sudden, something rare happened. Something began running pass them next to each other real fast. Zach took out his Pokedex and said, "It's a Sneasel! They're rare around here!" Amanda threw a pokeball at it, but it broke out. But Marill used cut on it a few times, which weakened it. Then she threw another one. It shaked One! Two! Three! And it's caught! Zach and Amanda cheered! Amanda picked up the ball and moved on her way to Makilio City. They just came in. It seemed like a lively city, and it looked a bit like Jubilife City in the Sinnoh Region. They passed a Grass Gym, whose leader was Earthy Ernest. Amanda was glad she was 13. That's her mother's limit for opening other things. Robert had also just turned 14, because they did not know their birthday was on the same day. Amanda called her mother on her cell phone. "Hi Mom! I'm in Makilio City!" said Amanda. "Oh! Marie, how are you?" Amanda shaked her head and said, "I changed my name, so I can have a different identity here. I'm Amanda now!" Her mom replied, "That's a nice name! Anyway, Happy Birthday! I'm sorry It's one day late. Check the mail! I sent you a present!" Amanda said, "I will! Thanks! Goodbye, Mom!" Her mom said, "OK! Goodbye, and be safe, honey!" She hung up. Zach was nearby getting directions to the next city. But they were in shock when they found out that is was 30 miles away. It was different than walking 2 miles from Titap Town. They had to rest, so they rented a Hotel Room at The Radabla, a fancy hotel. Nothing really happened that day until the night. It was about 9:30 P.M, and Zach and Amanda were searching for Urban Pokemon. Zach caught a Meowth, and Amanda caught a Shinx. However Zach had a secret. He had a crush on Amanda.

Chapter 4 - Pure Love

They woke up the next day at The Radabla, they were going to stay for one more day. They got dressed and brushed their teeth. Zach spoke up and said, "Amanda, I like your eyes." Amanda blushed and said, "Thanks!" Amanda was not a person who would not rudely reject someone, even if they sounded like insane idiots. They were on the Nineteenth Floor in The Radabla, and they took the stairs. They went into the Pokemon Store to buy a few things, then they went to the top roof. They got some sodas and talked. "What is your favorite color?" asked Zach. "Brown or Pink. I like darker shades of lighter colors." Zach seemed confused. They turned on the radio, and Amanda's favorite song, Romance In The Air, by Tori Tannica turned on. The lyrics went on, "And the park wasn't full of people, as Spring Fever came through me, Clefairy coming by my legs, Romance In The Air that gave us the love," and so on. However, Zach was looking at Amanda's eyes the whole song. Amanda took a while to catch on that Zach was looking at her. They stared at eachother for a few seconds, but Zach came closer. Right then and there, Zach kissed her. It seemed to have lasted forever. They knew that they were in true love.

Astinus
April 4th, 2008, 11:54 AM
Paragraphs: make them. Hit the Enter button twice to create a new paragraph, since your fic is squashed and nearly unreadable without them.

There also needs to be less confusion. Why did Marie change her name to Amanda? How long have Amanda and Zachary known each other, and why are they suddenly falling in love?

And add more description to your battles. When Amanda caught Sneasel, the entire battle was a sentence long. For an important battle, like catching a Pokemon, there should be more to it.

Read a few of the stickied guides in the Lounge to get a better idea of what's looked for in fics. Work on your paragraphing a bit. And try to make your chapters longer.

Ris
April 17th, 2008, 06:48 PM
Chapter 5 - Earthy Ernest


Amanda had dreams for the next few nights. Was Marill the one she should of chosen? Did she do something wrong? Things just seemed to be happening to fast for her. "Wake up! Wake up!" yelled Zachary the next morning. "We need to check out of the hotel," Amanda stood up. "If we don't leave in 15 minutes, we'll be billed another day." Marie grew an aware face. "Let's hurry up!" Amanda ran to pack up her things and Zach ran to the hotel man. Before long, they were out the door. They both gave a sigh of relief and decided to take a walk before going out for a Pokemon catching day. On the road, they saw two men dressed in... somewhat strange suits. When the men saw Amanda and Zach looking at them, they grew a scared look and ran. "Who are those guys?" asked Amanda. "I don't know, and let's don't find out neither." The two started walking into the wild. Right after they went out, the two strange men came to them. "Back in the city I saw you two lookin' at us." said one of them. "We isn't goin' to let you get away with this!" said the other one. Amanda realized they wanted a fight. "Very well then... Bring it on!" Amanda threw out her Marill, and Zach threw out his Pidgey. As the fight began, Amanda saw them send out some strange pokemon. She entered it in the PokeDex and it said...Alapirious? It also said Alapirious was a poison/psychic type, an unique and rare combination of types. The other man had a Glameow. Zach ordered his Pidgey, "Use gust on Glameow!" Pidgey quickly shot a bolt of air at Glameow, and it went back a little bit. Glameow, burning mad, charged straight at the Pidgey, but it dodged it, and it hit itself with recoil. Alapirious used poison sting on the Pidgey, and it poisoned it. Zach had no antidotes, so he panicked. "Amanda! I'm out of antidotes!" Amanda, not paying attention, threw an antidote at him. "..Thanks." Amanda yelled, "Water gun, Marill! On Glameow!" Marill charged up a small bolt of water and shot some water at the Glameow. Glameow wiggled a bit, then fell to the floor. It went back into it's pokeball. Now, to defeat Alapirious. Alapirious looked somewhat like a chipmunk, but it had spikes on it's arms, and a jewel-like thing on it's forehead. Alapirious used confusion on Marill, and it also confused it. Amanda looked through her BerryDex, and found a berry to cure it's confusion. Marill quickly came to it's senses. Pidgey used gust, again. "Marill...you can do this. Do what you think is best." Marill powered itself up highly and shot a huge blast of water at Alapirious, and it was very hot water. Alapirious did not have much HP and fainted. "Fine! You win!" yelled one of the grunts, and they ran off. Zach said, "High five!" Amanda high-fived back. Right then, a man appeared from the ground. "Hehehehe." he said. "..Erm. Who are you?" said Amanda. "Earthy Ernest. I'm the gym leader of this city, and I am an enthusiast of ground and grass." he replied. Zach said, "So, why are you here?" He replied, "I watched your battle behind my Burmy over there. You are quite a battler for a beginner." Amanda and Zach said, "Thanks!" He smirked and said, "Those men are part of Team Solaris. They are trying to create a strange Pokemon using the power of Pachirisu. They seem to have a liking for them." Zach sorted the information into his brain and said, "Ok, so are they threats to us?" Earthy Ernest frowned, "Not really. But they are a huge threat to Pokemon. They sometimes kill them." Amanda frowned, and looked at Marill, scanning the wild and beyond.

Marill was the one.

~Ris

~Night
April 17th, 2008, 07:30 PM
Please make paragraphs!

~!~Miss Cow~!~

BakingBluePotatoe
April 17th, 2008, 07:44 PM
power of Parachisuu......... LMAO

seriously though, describe stuff, and MAKE PARAGHRAPHS

Astinus
April 19th, 2008, 01:45 AM
I've looked at the other posts that you've made on the forums, and so I know that you know how to hit the Enter button.

You need to make paragraphs if you are going to write a story. Otherwise, the story is unreadable, and no one will want to look at it.

Make a new paragraph when someone speaks, or when talking about a new idea.

This story does not meet the standards of this section. It's being closed. You can try again once you learn to make paragraphs.