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^^NICK^^ v.2.0
September 6th, 2003, 07:57 PM
*post edited by Niko*


Hey guys! This is Niko taking possession of Nick's body... XD

But yeah... this thread is for being off topic and is just basically the DCC of the Fanfiction Forum. But go ahead and share ideas! You can rant, review, explode, advertise your fic, etc! Have fun!

-Niko

oni flygon
September 6th, 2003, 08:06 PM
hmm...I made a new fanfic... a short Pokemon Special, Shipping, fanfic... it's called "Under the night sky" heh... I can't think of a better titile XD

btw, Congrats on your Modship ^^NICK^^

^^NICK^^ v.2.0
September 6th, 2003, 09:11 PM
Thanx O.F.

I can't wait to read your FF. Now I will start reading the other ones.

G-LANCE
September 10th, 2003, 03:52 PM
Well i started a fan fic: Legend Of Lance.
It's continued from the one i started on the old pc.

Squangos
September 20th, 2003, 03:37 AM
I'm in the process of writing a fan-fic. It's pretty raw now, but it is funny in places. I would advise reading it.

Omega-Brendan
October 8th, 2003, 03:03 PM
Well, I have a fic right now, have a read, it's a Next Generation sorta fic.

oni flygon
November 11th, 2003, 09:58 AM
I don't see the use of this thread. Only five posts? x.X;;

Shadow
November 11th, 2003, 11:50 AM
Well most feedback about fanfictions are in the threads themselves, and this is one of the less active forums on PC too.... -_-''

oni flygon
November 15th, 2003, 03:19 PM
I wrote a new story called "Ties of love and friendship" If anyone read it, please comment on it. ^_^

Shadow
November 16th, 2003, 02:36 PM
Once my father gets home, I will have my CD-Key for Microsoft Word. Then I will be working on a special fan-fiction project (as well as work on my Invader Zim Season 3, check Other Fan-Fiction and Role-Play for it)

Iveechan
November 22nd, 2003, 05:24 PM
I added another chap to Guilty, if anyone cares...

^^NICK^^ v.2.0
November 24th, 2003, 04:37 PM
I told Kwesi i wanted to demod myself from FanFics, but he hasn't done it yet, just to let you know, i'm not being neglectful ^_^. I started a new story, Plasma Matter. I hope you like it.

Shadow
November 25th, 2003, 01:32 PM
And I told Kwesi I want to mod it, and I took the mod interveiw via PM and I am currently waiting for his reply....

I still haven't found the Microsoft Word CD key so no fan-fics from me anytime soon...

^^NICK^^ v.2.0
November 26th, 2003, 11:38 AM
Me and Vito told the mods and stuff in the MOD and Admion lounge that, but they just ignored us.

oni flygon
December 13th, 2003, 02:33 PM
*sigh* I wanted to mod this place... and I might treat this like the SPP fanfiction forum... XD

anyways... I added Chapter 6 to my story "Ties Of Love and Friendship."

More Mysterious People... XD

Blizzard
December 26th, 2003, 04:42 PM
Konnichiwa! I've made a new fanfic... it's called The Fiery Blizzard. It tells about my history. Well, at least Blizzard's anyway. Wait! I'M Blizzard! Heh... too many M&M's.

Sankari
January 1st, 2004, 05:35 AM
I made a fanfic. Please read it if you have the time. I've only made about 3 pages, though. :laugh:

P.S.-Can we do stories not related to pokemon?

Shadow
January 1st, 2004, 11:07 AM
You can do stories not related to Pokemon, but they go in Other Fan Fiction and Role Play.

>.< Darn still haven't found that CD Key for Word.

oni flygon
January 1st, 2004, 02:44 PM
well, thanks to the good 'ol censors, my latest chapter has been destroyed. Plus, Sc_ rap and b_loody! ... *edits 5 chapters*

Latios Master
January 12th, 2004, 04:27 PM
If anyone cares, I've been adding new chapters to my story 'Latios Master: The Born Legend' if anyone cares to read it. Does anyone have comments on it?

Iveechan
January 14th, 2004, 04:05 AM
I think some of these censors are ludicrous. It's a pain to keep editing guilty and using censor bypass... which I love to abuse. I soppose I'll go search for my fic so I can add on to it. Oh yeah, there's a typo in this thread title [/stating the obvious]

Shadow
January 14th, 2004, 02:09 PM
I am now a mod here. And hopefully I can fix that....
nvm didn't notice...Kairi beat me to it...

Venasaur
January 14th, 2004, 09:53 PM
I have started a story; It's called THE ELITE FOUR CHRONICLES. It's not yet finished, it's only part :\ of :\ strories. So, read it, comment on it where ever u like, and enjoy!! :laugh:

MeLoVeGhOsTs
January 27th, 2004, 03:50 AM
I'm new, but not new to forums, BTW: I've posted a piece of my fic! Would you guys comment it?(Good or Bad) It's called: Zuta A New World!

oni flygon
January 27th, 2004, 04:59 PM
added more fanfics and edited minor bugs in my fic... ^_^

Big Mystery Fan
February 2nd, 2004, 07:25 PM
I have this idea for a fanfic it about a dying jesse who disides to kidnap misty (with the help of james and moewth) and put her mind in misty's body in which she suckseeds and leaves misty's mind in a body of a eevee now it up to ash and brock to get misty's body back.

Venasaur
February 2nd, 2004, 09:39 PM
So... what do you guys think of my fanfic, THE ELITE FOUR CHRONICLES?

Blizzard
February 8th, 2004, 11:27 AM
I have a new story: The Diary of A Legend.

And I ask that you PLEASE comment, criticism is accepted; don't be afraid to hurt my feelings. I know I'm taking a wild direction, but please. That's no reason to ignore me is it?

Matt & Vulpix
February 15th, 2004, 05:29 AM
Hi!

I write a fan fic, and I used to post it at PE2K before it got deleted. I'm wondering if I should post it here.... I had only written Four Chapters, but they took me a while :)

~Matt

Neko Keeshi
February 15th, 2004, 07:39 PM
I'v been looking for a pokemon fanfic to read, but most of them have 'magical quests' or the trainers talk to their pokemon and other stuff that shouldnt happen normaly. I'v been hoping to find a fanfic that doesnt have any of that. A normal journey. I like the stories everyone has writen here, they are all great, but I just need some sugestions for a story to read for my likings.

Blizzard
February 15th, 2004, 08:26 PM
Though no one much cares, I finally intertwined my two short stories to created "Tales of the Experiments." Which by the way, acronyms into TotE. So read my two other stories before starting this one, or you'll be confused. Though you don't seem to care.

Sankari
February 16th, 2004, 06:39 AM
I'v been looking for a pokemon fanfic to read, but most of them have 'magical quests' or the trainers talk to their pokemon and other stuff that shouldnt happen normaly. I'v been hoping to find a fanfic that doesnt have any of that. A normal journey. I like the stories everyone has writen here, they are all great, but I just need some sugestions for a story to read for my likings.
Hey...all of my fanfics aren't normal and people read them. Would you like a pokemon story that is just pokemon?

ScArLetSkye
February 16th, 2004, 09:05 AM
Hi,I'm posting this here to....well I guess....advertise....my fanfic,The Trainer Path-Scarlet's Journey.^_^; NEways I hope some more people will read it(Special thankies 2 the ppl who have read it so far!:) ),and I'll write more if some people like it.
That's all,the link's in my siggie,
ScArLetSkye

Neko Keeshi
February 16th, 2004, 01:30 PM
Hey...all of my fanfics aren't normal and people read them. Would you like a pokemon story that is just pokemon?


No, I'm just talking about a normal pokemon journey. Some kid, his pokemon and fighting trainers trying to survive...

Dragon Man
February 17th, 2004, 02:00 PM
I am in the process of writing a Fan Fic. I don't know the name yet and I've only been working on it for around 1 month so I'm not done with the 1st chapter. But when it's done I'll post it. It's about a boy called Grant who loses in the Semifinals of the Juneau League and decides to give up Pokemon but he gets encouragement not to give up and decides to become a Researcher/Trainer. I hope it sounds interesting. =)

Venasaur
February 17th, 2004, 09:04 PM
I'v been looking for a pokemon fanfic to read, but most of them have 'magical quests' or the trainers talk to their pokemon and other stuff that shouldnt happen normaly. I'v been hoping to find a fanfic that doesnt have any of that. A normal journey. I like the stories everyone has writen here, they are all great, but I just need some sugestions for a story to read for my likings.


Hmmm... well, my fanfic THE ELITE FOUR CHRONLICLES is pretty intersesting. Or so I've heard... Just browse along until you find it.

Neko Keeshi
February 18th, 2004, 07:49 PM
Its really good. I like your style. I wish people would just make a fic with no super powers or secrets stuff ya know? A nomal pokemon journey fic from start to finish.

Blizzard
February 19th, 2004, 07:58 PM
Hi. The unnoticed writer Blizzard here, telling you about Shining Star: my newest fan fiction story. It's in poem form, and I spent about 2 hours thinking of the first chapter. So for god's sake, please, please, please post feedback. Or I'll cry. And you don't want to see a Flareon cry, do you? I hope not...

oni flygon
February 20th, 2004, 05:12 PM
I'd be very happy if anyone could at least read and reply to my fanfic "Ties of Love and Friendship" ^_^

ScArLetSkye
February 20th, 2004, 05:51 PM
MMMMMmmmm....interesting...so many fanfics to read!Were to begin?^_^

oni flygon
February 22nd, 2004, 05:06 PM
added a chapter to my fanfiction "Ties of Love and Friendship"

I'd be happy if someone could read it and post any critisicms or comments ^^

Snivi
February 23rd, 2004, 03:00 PM
I wrote a new story an AAMRN see signature for link.

parallelzero
February 23rd, 2004, 03:57 PM
I need sum feedback for my story Clash of Groudon and Kyogre

Venasaur
February 29th, 2004, 05:55 PM
Added Chapter 2 to Part 2 of THE ELITE FOUR CHRONLICLES. Hope you enjoy it!

oni flygon
February 29th, 2004, 05:56 PM
Anyone would kindly read my fanfic "Ties of love and Friendship" ? ^_^

Big Mystery Fan
March 1st, 2004, 07:09 PM
a dying jesse who disides to kidnap misty (with the help of james and moewth) and put her mind in misty's body in which she suckseeds and leaves misty's mind in a body of a eevee now it up to ash and brock to get misty's body back.

i realized that i don't have the talent make my story maybe someone can do story for me.

if no one can that's ok

HKim
March 5th, 2004, 09:51 PM
I posted my story "Alternate". It's about the events that happened after a major world war and what one person in history will do to change the present and the future.

Onimusha
March 8th, 2004, 10:49 AM
How can I get my fic read more?

Skye
March 26th, 2004, 07:38 AM
Hi everybody! Lots of you have seen me on the RPG board, but I posted two fanfics also!

"Gaining Wings" It's a Brock fic, and he's shipped with a character I made up. The story takes place at Professor Ivy's place on Valencia, which has expanded drastically thanks to my little imagination. There's a little AAMR going on, because they are so kawaii! It's one of my earliest fics from about five years ago, so please enjoy! It's kind of long though...maybe that's why people haven't read it?

"Ego and Attitude." This one is about Gary, Ash's oh-so-arrogant rival. I wanted to look into his character a little more, and bring out his sensative side (unless his sensative side is my imagination...lol) by shipping him with a character I made up. TONS of AAMR in this one!!

Please read and critique my fanfiction! Thanks in advance!

Blizzard
March 28th, 2004, 12:57 PM
Dear Viewers,

My other fan fics kind of failed. But I tried again! Read "What You Never Knew About Celebi" and see for yourself! Comments welcome, I suppose...

WdrngWrdWvr
March 30th, 2004, 06:02 PM
WWW here, just hoping to coerce as many of you budding fanficcers to have a quick squiz at my fanfics, Dragonagi, Dragonagi 2 and 3.

They are completely original works, that i have taken long tumultuous hours in writing for your pleasure. I have now compiled a total of well over 20 chapters and without a single comment.

Anyone daring enough to actually take on the challenge of reading the story in its entirity, please dont hesitate to comment inside the topic itself. I love feedback, for without it, i wouldnt be half as passable at writing as i am today.

Even if i can convince a couple of you to simply put my story on your "To read" lists, you wont be dissappointed, let me assure you.
Thanks from the bottom of my heart in advance.
Your local... Wondering Word Weaver. *Throws an explosive smoke pellet on the ground at his feet... the smoke dissipates revealing me still scuttling away to await your comments*

Steeleon
April 2nd, 2004, 08:49 AM
Hey everyone! Just hoping that some of you people will check out my fan fic.

Venasaur
April 3rd, 2004, 01:46 AM
Hello! I added Chapter 3 to part two of THE ELITE FOUR CHRONICLES.

I hope you all enjoy!http://www.pojo.com/pokedex/Pokemon/Images/003%20gb.jpg

oni flygon
April 3rd, 2004, 01:14 PM
Added chapter 17 to my fanfic "Ties of Love and Friendship" ... anyone want to bother and read and comment on it? ^_^

Venasaur
April 7th, 2004, 06:07 PM
NEW FANFIC!!! JOURNEY TO FALLARBOR GYM!

chapter one coming soon!

oni flygon
April 7th, 2004, 07:29 PM
Added a chapter in my fanfic... ^^ hope someone read it... I have the link in my sig... ^^;

Venasaur
April 9th, 2004, 04:36 PM
Chapter Two of Journey to Fallarbor Gym is up!!!!! Read and enjoy! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :classic: :classic:



P.S: If you have any feedback on the story, post it up in the story itself, a PM, or umm... put it here. Yeah, that's it! Put it here...

Matt & Vulpix
April 12th, 2004, 09:05 AM
Posted Chapter 1 to A JOURNEY IN KANTO, my fic ^_^ This fic has been posted (up till chapter 15) at PE2K and the SPP. It's doing great at both with good reviews, so give it a shot, eh? ;)

oni flygon
April 16th, 2004, 04:35 PM
Anyone could please read my fanfic called "Friday" ? Please? ^_^

^^NICK^^ v.2.0
April 18th, 2004, 02:50 PM
I just posted my new fic, "Ditching Janet". I will probabvly update it around Friday-ish.

oni flygon
April 18th, 2004, 02:51 PM
I placed teh last part of "Friday."
I also added a new chapter to Ties of Love and Friendship

Mr Cat Dog
April 18th, 2004, 11:19 PM
Please please please please please give a review for my Fan Fic - A Tale of Matrimony. Only 9 people have even looked at it..... grrrrrr (pokes the millions of people who haven't looked at it). Please don't be turned off by the name... please?

pokey a.k.a espeon
April 19th, 2004, 09:16 AM
Can more people respond to my fan fic?I mean sure I put cuss words but beacause of that do you all think I'm a snob cause I'm not.Again please respond.

Plasma
April 19th, 2004, 04:42 PM
I got a new story, 'The Ultimate Battle'. Please read and review, I'm trying to further my writing career. Thanks!

^^NICK^^ v.2.0
April 22nd, 2004, 11:38 AM
I just updated Ditching Janet, and edited the format, or whatever it's called. It makes it look more exciting. LoL. Please R&R

WdrngWrdWvr
April 26th, 2004, 08:02 PM
Just letting you all know, i have finally concluded writing Dragonagi 2! Its complete and ready for your replies!!

Hope you all love it as much as i enjoyed writing it. Look foward to your ratings!

WWW

Skye
April 28th, 2004, 05:24 PM
Hello, everyone...just want to advertise my newest fic in the making: Learning to Fly. It's a sequel to Gaining Wings. Hope you all enjoy it!!




(Also, I would like to add that this forum is so constructive to its writers. I am very proud to be a part of this group!)

^^NICK^^ v.2.0
April 29th, 2004, 03:36 PM
I just updated "Ditching Janet". Enjoy.

oni flygon
May 2nd, 2004, 01:58 PM
Just Updated Ties of Love and Friendship...

Please Read and Reply! XD

Mew13
May 3rd, 2004, 04:58 PM
I just started my own fan fic, "The Mutants"!! Please read and critique! Thanks in advance!

^^NICK^^ v.2.0
May 5th, 2004, 03:13 PM
i JUST UPDATED "d.j." [DITCHING JANET] AGAIN. pLEASE READ AND REVIEW.

Venasaur
May 7th, 2004, 08:57 PM
Updated Chapter 7 of my fic JOURNEY TO FALLARBOR GYM! Please read and review it, i need to know your take on the story so far!http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/rsicon205.gif

oni flygon
May 7th, 2004, 09:50 PM
didn't update my story but can anyone read it?
Highest rated and longest lasting story in PC! XD
please Read and Reply! ^_^

Mew13
May 8th, 2004, 11:20 AM
I added the second chapter to my fic, "The Mutants" and edited the 1st one! Please read and reply!

Hey, where does everyone get thier inspiration for their fan fics? Mine came from many many years of reading sci-fi books and my love for Pokemon. I put the two together and this is what I came up with. Many of my characters are based on myself or people I know. Some are even people I dream of meeting.

^^NICK^^ v.2.0
May 13th, 2004, 02:56 PM
I just added the seventh chapter to "DJ"

oni flygon
May 14th, 2004, 06:04 PM
Added another chapter to "Ties of Love and Friendship"

Hope you guys will enjoy this one! ^_^ Please R&R!

Please read my fanfic... "Ties of Love and Friendship"
Five 5 star ratings. Longest lasting fanfic. Since October 2003!

^^NICK^^ v.2.0
May 14th, 2004, 06:07 PM
I posted my newest ff, "A Water Pokemon Summer".

oni flygon
May 20th, 2004, 05:34 PM
added chapter 25 for my fanfiction... ^_^
I hope someone reads and replies...

^^NICK^^ v.2.0
May 21st, 2004, 06:29 PM
After more than a week, I updated DJ, but the chapter was short.

~Ozy~
May 21st, 2004, 06:49 PM
I'll be adding the first chapter (From one vampire to another) of my fanfic, "A series of Supernatural Events" soon. A brief intro for y'alls. The old gang (Ash, Brock, and Misty) has reunited. Ash is 17, Misty's 19, and Brock is 23 or so. Ash is a bit smarter, maybe enough to graduate high school. Misty is given over to severe bouts of occasional depression. Brock...Well, not much has changed, although he might be somewhat involved with Misty. Enter Soichiro, a man of Ecrutekan descent. He's a bit odd. In the end, it turns out he's a vampire. He bites Misty. That's about as far as I am now. I'll get it up sometime soon, I hope. Chapters to come, up through five are:

1. From One Vampire to Another
2. Trio of Demons
3. Weaver's Song
4. Wings of a Fallen Angel
5. MiniTorous Madness (Comic relief)

These are all unrelated, each takes place in a different universe, and each fetures a different new character and has the main character at different time in their lives.

Mew13
May 23rd, 2004, 01:33 PM
I just added the next chapter to my Fic, "The Mutants". Please read and critique, as of now, I think there's only two people reading it....

Skye
May 23rd, 2004, 03:34 PM
This is a little off topic, but I posted a Digimon Fic in the Other Fanfiction and Roleplay section, entitled "Compassion." I would really appreciate a review if anyone would be so kind as to do so! Thanks!

oni flygon
May 23rd, 2004, 07:19 PM
cool! My reposted fanfic is fanfic of the the week! Do I get an award for getting two fanfics that are fanfic of the weeks? XD

raveberuk
May 24th, 2004, 12:04 AM
PPL :D

Please read and rate my fan fic (RAYQUAZA BOY) :dead: ! Thanks :knockedou

Rave

praetoritevong
May 29th, 2004, 03:05 AM
Well, I suppose I'm not exactly well known round here, but I do have a fic, in which I have written up to chapter 9, that I will be writing here, so anyone that has the time, please check it out! I'll post the chapters separately so it's not gonna be a huge page of chapters...XD.

^^NICK^^ v.3.0
June 4th, 2004, 07:18 PM
I just posted the nineth chapter of Ditching Janet. I wonder if they'll get to ditch her anytime soon...

oni flygon
June 12th, 2004, 02:48 PM
I'm in a chapter posting frenzy!
Posted chapters 31 and 32 to my fanfiction "Ties of Love and Friendship." Please do read and reply! ^_^

Dr Skottie
June 15th, 2004, 08:34 PM
Hey everyone! Dr Skottie here, I'm new to this forum and I have begun posting my award winning fan fiction "An Adventure of a Lifetime!". I have posted up to and including Chapter 5. So far there are 33 chapters all up and I'm still writing. Its a long running thing if you know what I mean. Go and check it out and tell me what you think!

UmbreonsShadow
June 16th, 2004, 09:56 PM
I just posted Chapter One of my Fanfic= Crystal: The Pokemon Detective. It's my first fanfic! If someone does read it, and finds it lame or something, please tell me! I'll be happy to try to fix it! >^^<

oni flygon
June 18th, 2004, 09:36 PM
Can someone please read my fanfic "Ties of Love and Friendship?" I'd be happy for your replies! ^_^

^^NICK^^ v.3.0
June 20th, 2004, 09:43 PM
I am in the process of reading it actually. I am on Chapter 7, which seems like it's gonna be exciting. So many chapters to go... *wipes forehead*

oni flygon
June 22nd, 2004, 11:24 AM
I made a new fanfic called "Some things never change"

I hope some Questshippers might like it... ^_^

Iveechan
June 22nd, 2004, 05:53 PM
Well I see Guilty is being ignored just because it's not a journey or shipping fic *rolls eyes*.

oni flygon
June 22nd, 2004, 06:09 PM
I'll read it then! ^_^

I get that same feeling when no one replies to your own fanfictions.

Dr Skottie
June 24th, 2004, 05:10 AM
Hey everyone, sorry for lack of updates... I had exams. But yeh I just posted up Chapters 6, 7 and 8. Have a read and tell me what you think. My fic really doesn't get good til around chapter 20 or so. Anyway, I hope you like it!

^^NICK^^ v.3.0
June 28th, 2004, 10:36 PM
I updated Ditching Janet, oh shoot, I need to edit something! If you read it, I hope you enjoy it.

oni flygon
June 29th, 2004, 05:26 PM
Added chapter 50 to my story! Chapter 50, everyone! XD

Toothache
July 5th, 2004, 06:39 PM
Just posted the prologue and first chapter to my brand new fic - Mystery of Cinnibar Island. This is set several years after Red has closed down Team Rocket, but mystery still remains at the mansion where Mewtwo was cloned... could a sinister new team be trying to bring him back... and what does keep following the thieves? The story of three slightly reckless trainers who somehow get sweeped up in the mystery takes them further than either of them imagined before...

Expect lots of twists and turns in this new mysterious fic. I hope you all enjoy it.

PS Is it alright to link to the fic in my signature? If not I'll take it off...

oni flygon
July 5th, 2004, 06:58 PM
Posted chapter 58 in my story. Sad chapter...was partially crying when I wrote it... ;)

Toothache
July 5th, 2004, 08:28 PM
Well, I went a little crazy, and Chapter 2 of Mystery of Cinnibar Island is posted already (within a few hours of the first part!). Enjoy :-)

oni flygon
July 7th, 2004, 07:07 PM
Posted chapter 59 on my story... CHAPTER 59 BABY! XD

Toothache
July 9th, 2004, 08:48 PM
Chapter 3 of Mystery of Cinnibar Island is now up. Go read, and enjoy... :-)

oni flygon
July 9th, 2004, 09:53 PM
Chapter 60 of "Ties of Love and Friendship" is out! It's down to the last few episodes! (sorta)

^^NICK^^ v.3.0
July 15th, 2004, 10:14 PM
I jsut read The One Drop. I like it, and Castform seems like an awesome starter, I wish i woukda thought of that. Um, I'm looking forward to reading what happens next, and keep up the great work. I can't even think of suggestions, it's that good.

Aiya Quackform
July 16th, 2004, 02:41 PM
Thanks, Nick, I'm glad you like it! I have to say it took me a long time to choose on a starter, and Castform seemed like an interesting choice. (Whismur was almost the starter.) So I hope you keep reading it! I plan on making Thursdays and Mondays my post days until you're caught up. Then it'll be just Thursdays.

^^NICK^^ v.3.0
July 17th, 2004, 09:58 AM
Those were my posting days, coincidentally. No it's anywhere between Wednesday-Friday. If differs now, because I'm usually too lazy to update.

oni flygon
July 17th, 2004, 11:26 AM
Chapter 65 posted in my fanfiction! That's chapter 65 people! XD

Jesus Freak Josh
July 17th, 2004, 08:35 PM
I didn't really need to read Aiya's seeing as I've read all of her other chappys!
Keep up the good work Aiya!

Dizzy
July 17th, 2004, 11:01 PM
I have a fan-fic (well there are a couple) so, please read them ^_^.

Aiya Quackform
July 18th, 2004, 02:44 PM
OK, Chapter 2 of "The One Drop" is now available for your reading pleasure.

And thanks for the support, Batesy.

Jesus Freak Josh
July 18th, 2004, 02:45 PM
I might read it again. I don't know. I could be too lazy. The second chappy's where you catch Castform isn't it?

Dizzy
July 18th, 2004, 08:50 PM
People never read my fan-fics, but they read other peoples -_-... How can I delete my fan-fics?

Jesus Freak Josh
July 18th, 2004, 08:51 PM
People never read my fan-fics, but they read other peoples -_-... How can I delete my fan-fics?
Ask a Mod/admin to.
People will eventually read it...

Dizzy
July 18th, 2004, 09:04 PM
Right, people will eventually read my 3 month old fan-fics too ^_^....

Aiya Quackform
July 18th, 2004, 09:31 PM
I might read it again. I don't know. I could be too lazy. The second chappy's where you catch Castform isn't it?

The beginning of the battle, yes.

Also, would there be some mod in particular I should ask to delete replied to my Fic? They replied on my thread after I specifically asked them not to do that.

Jesus Freak Josh
July 18th, 2004, 09:35 PM
PM a mod of this section. Aiya, are you going to fix up what I said in NB. Speaking of which, how bout another round?

Aiya Quackform
July 18th, 2004, 09:49 PM
PM a mod of this section. Aiya, are you going to fix up what I said in NB. Speaking of which, how bout another round?

Thank you, already done, and let me visit all my forums first. :classic:

Dizzy
July 18th, 2004, 09:50 PM
As mature as I can and want to be, it just doesn't work, people don't read my fan-fics, and that totally saddens me :(, Please read my fan-fics, I put so much work into them, and no one ever seems to notice (they don't notice anything I do, they just avoid it) so Please:

Read my Fanfics


Alternate Decisions (http://pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=12568) Oddyseus the Wanderer (http://pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=13044) Sapphire Tears (http://pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=12472)

In-Trance
July 18th, 2004, 10:04 PM
I read your Fan-Fic(s) Dizzy I think they are really cool, I'm also thinking of helping you out on your Fan-Fic Based Rm2k Game too!

Nemesis
July 19th, 2004, 07:47 AM
As you can see I am pretty new here, I came for the RP Olympics.

Anyway, I have just posted my short story, inspired by the dullness of the Movie 7 summary, which will be the first of my "Legendary Series." This one is based on Deoxys and Rayquaza, obviously. I would appreciate it if you could read and review it.

Frostweaver
July 20th, 2004, 08:58 PM
well mods don't delete a thread... at most it's a close but really there isn't a need to Dizzy...

@ note for all fanfic writers:
I just really want to say this... sorry to offend you but so many fics of these things happening really annoys me...

-there's ENOUGH EEVEELUTION fanfics out there... for every 10 fanfics, 4 of them has eeveelutions or something...
-and another 5/10 must have a legendary! Rayquaza, Kyogre, Groudon, Mew or whatever...
-the last 1/10 uses some "normal" Pokemon, those who aren't superior...

It's seriously boring after reading SO MANY fanfics that all revolve around pretty much the same Pokemon over and over again... if you do insist on writing about them, it's going to be REAL HARD for you to stand out of the crowd...


@ The One Drop: quite a well written fanfic with the battle between Castform and Whismur done very well... you know exactly what's happening in the battle. At the same time, it follows the game pretty well too, such as secret power making swift.

However, Castform seems to be a bit idle before it started using ember (ahh yes Castform in the game must be "it"s but I don't mind that being changed in the fanfic), and that's a bit weird... Also new trainer fanfic never excites me that much... and same for this one. Not that the fanfic is poorly written, but it's just my own prejudice on that one...

^^NICK^^ v.3.0
July 20th, 2004, 09:12 PM
I don't want any legendaries in mine, that makes it clich to me. My fic is kinda clich in some ways, though.

Frostweaver
July 20th, 2004, 09:29 PM
well I don't mind seeing legendaries appear... but not as some main character... legendaries and eeveelutions and anything else are nice to see as support characters... but legendaries and eeveelutions flood the main character role way too badly... so badly that any fic with them as main characters is automatically quite repulsive already. >>;

3 years of the continous eeveelutions and legendaries as main characters tend to make you feel so terrible when you see even more fanfics with them as main characters.

^^NICK^^ v.3.0
July 20th, 2004, 09:38 PM
Yeah, I still don't have that in my fics. I still have starters and beginning poks. My characters are almost in Dewford Island.

oni flygon
July 21st, 2004, 03:31 PM
Err...no offense to anyone but I think there's been too many Pokemorph fanfictions too... O_o

I mean...it's a unique fanfic before, now it's just everything about it... O_o

Dizzy
July 21st, 2004, 03:50 PM
My fan-fics are terrible, which must be the reason why no one reads them!

oni flygon
July 21st, 2004, 03:53 PM
My fan-fics are terrible, which must be the reason why no one reads them!

No they're not...You just need some patience and experience if you want people to read your fanfics... ^_^

^^NICK^^ v.3.0
July 21st, 2004, 05:40 PM
What exactly is Pokemorph, and I don't think I'm doing, so i guess that's good.

Dizzy
July 21st, 2004, 06:28 PM
No they're not...You just need some patience and experience if you want people to read your fanfics... ^_^

I know but...People just don't realize how much work I'm putting in my fan-fics for them to read it... They just Ignore it, and go on to another story..sorta of mean but seriously... I could be patient, I just choose not to be.

oni flygon
July 21st, 2004, 06:48 PM
What exactly is Pokemorph, and I don't think I'm doing, so i guess that's good.

Pokemorphs are those people who turn to Pokemon...XD

There's too much of them before...now they're sinking slowly...

Frostweaver
July 21st, 2004, 09:19 PM
Pokemorph... they disappeared into the thin air lately o.o; So it's fine with me I guess... it's those darned Eeveelutions though... THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!!! (and there's another new Eeveelution related fanfic out in PC today... see what I mean?)

As for you Dizzy, a good way to help you getting more viewers is to change your story layout...

-just start the story, and save the author's notes at the end
-don't start with a short summary of the chapter... why would anyone continue on reading if they basically know what's happening already?
-LENGTH!!! good cutline is at least 900 words a chapter (songfic and poems exception)
-and descriptions... 99% of all fanfics need a lot of those

Dizzy
July 21st, 2004, 09:37 PM
...I have no writing skills whatsoever then... I put all my work into my fan-fics but they just aren't good enough, I followed pretty much every rule and stuff, taking tips from the Great Oni himself, and still.......it doesnt get me anywhere. -_- oh the shame of writing

Frostweaver
July 21st, 2004, 09:43 PM
practice makes perfect ^_^ No one is born knowing how to write correctly. Most writers on ffnet has multiple accounts where they failed on 9 of them and got famous on the last one.

Dizzy
July 21st, 2004, 09:48 PM
But what's a story with no replies...how do I continue? How do I get as good as some of *not to be offensive but* some of the writers that don't have proper skill, like I do?

I mean it just doesn't make sense...

Frostweaver
July 21st, 2004, 09:56 PM
a good suggestion is to get yourself an account on ffnet... seriously it's by far the best place for any fanfiction. If you got yourself a review of one review per chapter for a Pokemon story, that's pretty good already... Oni Flygon is there, Cartoon is here, Keleri is there, Lightning is there, Pogiforce is there as well and I'm sure that's other PC members there as well (just that I haven't found them all yet).

Ties of Love and Friendship got 1 review per chapter I believe as an average, and we know that it's a hot seller in PC here... this proves how getting just one review is an excellent start. You just have to be persistent and keep writing... fanfiction.net is easier to get reviews actually because everyone gets to see...

a) title
-first ad for your story... a good title that's not cliche is an important step to a good start

b) 1000 word or plus+
-first filter available of FFnet to seperate the absolute junk from the pile of fanfics... having 1000 words is crucial because you'll survive the first filter then

c) the 2 lines of description
-this decides the fate of your story rather you get reviews or not pretty much... a good description will automatically suck up people to read your story, and will usually leave comments regardless of good or bad (unless it sucks to a point where they quit half way through, but those who can write a good description will usually have a good fanfic)


Also, try reading fanfics who got awesome amount of reviews from ffnet... learn how they write, and reflect upon it... and think how you can apply some of the special things they do to your story.

Dizzy
July 21st, 2004, 10:10 PM
I don't get any reviews though, it takes days to get reviews and I make them mostly (with In-trance ^_^) Maybe that's what I should do right now.

I really want people to read my stories, not ignore them, but maybe I'm not good enough (which pretty much is 99 percent of the case)

My Newest one should meet all of those requirements frosty!

Aiya Quackform
July 21st, 2004, 10:54 PM
Frostweaver: Thanks for your compliment and comment. I have to say I agree that legendaries, eeveelutions, and trainer fics are far too common. But I will tell you that while One Drop appears to be a trainer fic at first, it will greatly diverge from the standard story very quickly.

Also, Chapter 3 is being posted for your reading pleasure.

Frostweaver
July 22nd, 2004, 02:22 PM
*reads the latest chapter*

This time relatively short compare to your other chapters, but the length is still good ^_^ Most of it is more Pokemon battling, which really doesn't require much time to read (you can start skimming when you know that nothing is happening but a Pokemon battle).

I still think that the story is rather taking on a slow toll, but that maybe a psychological effect from seeing what could have been one chapter breaking up into 3 posts... meh.


Not to mention, gotta hate the MEGA CLICHE names like Inferno, Moonlight, and especially Shadow (even worst if it's on an Umbreon... that's the worst name possible for one of the most boring Pokemon). Fanfic writers should either avoid nicknaming in all, or choose some better nicknames that doesnt' sound like some magic from RPG games... >>;

oni flygon
July 22nd, 2004, 02:33 PM
My fanfic might look like a trainer fanfic at first glance, but the plot soon deepens. I only have one cliched Pokemon nickname...and that's Blaze... (who is a Charizard) Otherwise, here's other nicknames:
Abby - Gary's Alakazam
Doga - Gary's Steelix
Gabby - Gary's Milotic
Damian - Gary's Scizor
Sage - Gary's Pidgeot

btw, my main character's name is Gary since Gary is Green's anime counterpart and Gary is Green and Yellow's son...

Some of my character's Pokemon:
Emily - Yomi(Dragonair)
Nick - Leaf(Venusaur -cliched?) Alm(Beautifly) Sigurd(Mightyena) [Notice that all of his Pokemon's nicknames are names of Fire Emblem Lords]

That's just some... ;)

Jesus Freak Josh
July 22nd, 2004, 02:35 PM
Frostweaver: Thanks for your compliment and comment. I have to say I agree that legendaries, eeveelutions, and trainer fics are far too common. But I will tell you that while One Drop appears to be a trainer fic at first, it will greatly diverge from the standard story very quickly.

Also, Chapter 3 is being posted for your reading pleasure.
Let me guess (I read it on GHPF about 3 months ago):
Mari leaves the academy and goes to Slateport where she meets someone.

Dizzy
July 22nd, 2004, 03:34 PM
The first chapter of my latest Fan-Fiction is up, and ready for comments, you can find the link right here, or just go to the thread in this forum.

Gamemaster (http://pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=13281)

^^NICK^^ v.3.0
July 22nd, 2004, 04:55 PM
...I have no writing skills whatsoever then... I put all my work into my fan-fics but they just aren't good enough, I followed pretty much every rule and stuff, taking tips from the Great Oni himself, and still.......it doesnt get me anywhere. -_- oh the shame of writing
I think the reason people don't read your fanfiction is because you make them based on anceint history and geography most of the time. I think it's really good that you are well educated and interested in those topics, but most people aren't, and they don't understand whta you talk about. Like all the old royalty, and European stuff and tieing that into your fiction, most people are probably confused. Try to write so that your audiance understands, and is interested. That's just my opinion, trying speak for the rest of the readers.

oni flygon
July 22nd, 2004, 05:34 PM
Posted Chapter 67 of Ties of Love and Friendship
"Twin Hearted" (part two)

Dizzy
July 22nd, 2004, 05:38 PM
I think the reason people don't read your fanfiction is because you make them based on anceint history and geography most of the time. I think it's really good that you are well educated and interested in those topics, but most people aren't, and they don't understand whta you talk about. Like all the old royalty, and European stuff and tieing that into your fiction, most people are probably confused. Try to write so that your audiance understands, and is interested. That's just my opinion, trying speak for the rest of the readers.

No I don't, I don't do that to any of them (well there was one but it was total bull)

oni flygon
July 22nd, 2004, 05:45 PM
No I don't, I don't do that to any of them (well there was one but it was total bull)

One thing you need to do to attract people in your fanfictions is to make the title a bit more interesting. Second, try to make the start of your fanfiction as interesting as possible. That could be achieved by describing the main character or describing his/her past...

But you have talent in you. Don't discourage yourself I'm sure you'll be a great writer! I'm a struggling writer myself. I was like any amateur writer before...but if you keep on doing your best, you'll learn a lot and I'm sure you'll improve and become well-known!

Dizzy
July 22nd, 2004, 05:53 PM
One thing you need to do to attract people in your fanfictions is to make the title a bit more interesting. Second, try to make the start of your fanfiction as interesting as possible. That could be achieved by describing the main character or describing his/her past...

But you have talent in you. Don't discourage yourself I'm sure you'll be a great writer! I'm a struggling writer myself. I was like any amateur writer before...but if you keep on doing your best, you'll learn a lot and I'm sure you'll improve and become well-known!

I really don't think they'd read it even if I did that... but whatever, its worth a try. People will never read my fan-fics...they just won't. All this work for nothing.

Frostweaver
July 22nd, 2004, 08:18 PM
Actually, a good nickname is just taking off one or two letters from the japanese name of the Pokemon XD 80% of the time this works rather well. Also I personally avoid taking names from famous games like Fire Emblem, because it makes unintended allusions which may confuse your readers.

And Dizzy, just keep this altittude up and you'll be scaring away your readers... I mean why should people read your fanfics if they see the author saying "Hi my name is Dizzy and my story is crap!" Since readers must trust in the author to know what's happening, they'll also believe your own reviews of your story. If you say that it's crap, then it will be automatically assumed that it's crap. So really stop saying such things before you scare the rest of your readers away O.o;

Dizzy
July 22nd, 2004, 08:32 PM
Fine I'll just drop this fake attitude and be myself... ^_^

Hey I'm Dizzy and my story is the best thing in the world. I really put alot of work into it and I'd really appreciate if you'd read it. If you have any comments please post them in the thread, I will take comments and criticisms alike. Please, read my awesome story ^_^.

How's that, the only reason I put on this fake online attitude is to be "nice" I'm not really like this.

[Fair]
July 22nd, 2004, 08:41 PM
Um, yeah, hey, how's it goin'?

*Crickets Chirp*

Wow... Tough crowd. Anyhoo, I posted the first story of the Pellet Town Chronicles, "The Pellet Town Heist". I'd really appreciate it if somebody checked it out and told me what they think... *Sniff*

It's a different kind of story in that it's a parody of many popular movies and TV shows. But it's still a Pokmon story at heart.

Aiya Quackform
July 22nd, 2004, 09:33 PM
Let me guess (I read it on GHPF about 3 months ago):
Mari leaves the academy and goes to Slateport where she meets someone.

First off, thank you so very much for posting spoilers of my fic. I truly appreciate that.

Second, no, not even you have read what I was referring to. It's the true plot of the story, that will come around about when Mari goes to Fortree.

Dizzy
July 23rd, 2004, 05:35 AM
I edited a little bit of the text and added an Ending to my newest and latest fan-fic, Gamemaster, I'd totally appreciate it if anyone read and reviewed it, just so I can continue knowing I have a great story or not ^_^.

I claim this Page for France!

^^NICK^^ v.3.0
July 23rd, 2004, 07:30 AM
And Dizzy, just keep this altittude up and you'll be scaring away your readers... I mean why should people read your fanfics if they see the author saying "Hi my name is Dizzy and my story is crap!" Since readers must trust in the author to know what's happening, they'll also believe your own reviews of your story. If you say that it's crap, then it will be automatically assumed that it's crap. So really stop saying such things before you scare the rest of your readers away O.o;Darn Frosty, I was going to say that! Okay, I was gonna say, what makes me not want to read your stories, Jordan, is you always saying "Nobody likes my stories, Everyone ignores me". Even if people ignore your stories, so what, keep writing until they notice. Yah, that it's it.

I updated my story on Tuesday, I forgot to "announce".

EDIT: I'll go check out your fiction Diz.

Dizzy
July 23rd, 2004, 08:56 AM
Thanks Nick! I'm glad you think it's good, I think it's good also ^_^, It's one of my best works! I'm ready to post Chapters II and III ^_^. They're both short chapters but they're interesting!

Frostweaver
July 23rd, 2004, 04:48 PM
@ gamemaster:

-that's a LOT and a LOT and a LOT of dialogues for chapter 2 O.o; Did the narrator went on vacation or something?

-now there's one of those description paragraph again... the part about Veronica's eye color and jeans and so on... gotta watch out for those boring stuff!

Dizzy
July 23rd, 2004, 05:48 PM
I don't think it's boring, I think its totally cool! All my fan-fics are cool...

oni flygon
July 23rd, 2004, 05:54 PM
Posted Chapter 68 in my story...finished Chapter 69 and 70 in my fanfic...

Don't worry Dizzy! Your fanfics are very creative! XD

Dizzy
July 23rd, 2004, 06:07 PM
Thanks Oni! I think this is one of my best ones! I actually like it. I'm an awesome writer and I know my fan-fics are good, But Oni...your's is the only one good enough to publish. I have a good Fan-Fic though Its GOOOOOOOOD, READ IT!

^^NICK^^ v.3.0
July 25th, 2004, 01:25 AM
I just updated my darn fanfiction again. I think this is one of my most well written chapters, if not best. Check it out please.

oni flygon
July 25th, 2004, 05:00 PM
Added chapter 70 to my fanfiction...yep, Chapter 70!

Frostweaver
July 25th, 2004, 10:36 PM
@ Mew's Chosen One:

It's the blissey equivalent of the Pokemon gameboy game, but only this is the fanfiction version... It's overused to the max (Vulpix... appears in a lot of fanfics, along with my most hated of fanfic type combination: legendary/eeveelution + new trainer). However, despite of its style being exactly the type that I usually hate the 2nd most (at least Vulpix is better than Eeveelution), the story isn't written that badly. There's some description along with Kari's character description of her eagerness to get her first Pokemon (the dawn event). It can be made longer to be more enjoyable.

Perhaps it's *another* one of those OT fics that "will" take a twist "eventually"...?


PS: Yes I'm a harsh HARSH fanfic reviewer, and hard to please yet can't write any junk myself o.o;

Jesus Freak Josh
July 25th, 2004, 10:40 PM
What did you think of Aiya's fic?

Dizzy
July 26th, 2004, 08:12 AM
First of All, Yes I've grown to be ignored in the Fan-Fic area, and I know that my fan-fics are so great that people just don't read them, but what's one little review? I see other people getting reviews except for me.

Frostweaver
July 26th, 2004, 12:37 PM
I did read Ch.4 of The One Drop but was too tired to type up the review last night ^_^;;

The disses before the congrats, as always.

-it's either a psychological effect from breaking up one chapter into 4 posts, or I am getting a bit impatient with the plot movement... "finally" something happens and it's only the last line of the chapter. Really this chapter is quite easily neglectable for most parts as it's an entire post dedicated to opening presents... o.o;

The good stuff:

-nice job on character description... now we know a bit more about Aiya's family, such as being Wattson's granddaughter, and being loved by both of her parents. The plot didn't slow down to a "description paragraph" when all of this is taking place.

-great details are shown in the story just like always (such as the pokeball-like item-ball... sorry forgot name of that device)

-cliffhanger scene... it's always nice to end off with one of those

oni flygon
July 26th, 2004, 05:40 PM
Added chapter 71 of my fanfiction. Chapter 71!

Mew13
July 26th, 2004, 05:43 PM
@ Mew's Chosen One:

It's the blissey equivalent of the Pokemon gameboy game, but only this is the fanfiction version... It's overused to the max (Vulpix... appears in a lot of fanfics, along with my most hated of fanfic type combination: legendary/eeveelution + new trainer). However, despite of its style being exactly the type that I usually hate the 2nd most (at least Vulpix is better than Eeveelution), the story isn't written that badly. There's some description along with Kari's character description of her eagerness to get her first Pokemon (the dawn event). It can be made longer to be more enjoyable.

Perhaps it's *another* one of those OT fics that "will" take a twist "eventually"...?


PS: Yes I'm a harsh HARSH fanfic reviewer, and hard to please yet can't write any junk myself o.o;

Thank you for being honest, though I must dissagree. My story is not a "gameboy game story" as many Trainer fics are. If you read the prologue, it explains what will eventually happen.

I have just posted the 2nd chapter, and the 3rd will reveal much. All the cities are totally original, which proves I am not following any gameboy game!

As for Vulpix, I chose it because they are usually difficult to get along with. Thus proving my character's early skill. (hey, I coulda used Eevee or Pikachu!)

Sorry, but I found I had to defend my story, as it will get much better soon!

~Mew13

Frostweaver
July 26th, 2004, 10:34 PM
err... no no... the gameboy thing was just talking about how this is the "OU" of the fanfic world, aka overused idea. Vulpix never had the image of hard-to-tame-type, especially since no Pokedex descriptions ever mention that, unlike Gyarados or Persian.

Plus on fanfiction.net, you'll see so many "is <original trainer> destined to be the partner of <legendary Pokemon name here>?" type of thing... there's an AWFUL LOTS of that. It'll be very difficult for your story to standout along the gigantic crowd.

oni flygon
July 27th, 2004, 02:14 PM
Edited Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 of Ties of Love and Friendship. The edit versions are first to be released here in PC...

Can you rate them for me, Frostweaver? The edited versions weren't the ones that you read in FF.net

I know they're short...XP

Jesus Freak Josh
July 27th, 2004, 02:16 PM
I'll be posting a story.
It's in Kanto and takes place 20 years (Put minutes before :D) into the future.
This boy goes to a non-Pokmon school. Later, he recieves a letter saying to meet Professor E. Electra at the lab in Pallet.
He then gets a Slowpoke. The boy is also unpopular.

Aiya Quackform
July 27th, 2004, 04:51 PM
Oni Flygon, I recently joined ffnet, and I'm planning on posting a 'special edition' of The One Drop there. In other words, I'll take comments I've gotten from the forums I put Drop in, and use it to edit my story into a more refined version. That's what I'll be posting at ffnet. When I've got it going, would you care to be my test reader? (I believe they are also called 'beta readers' but I'm not sure.)

That's cool that you're making a fic batesy! A couple of thoughts though. Just by what you told me, it seems fairly unoriginal. Try to put a non-trainer fic plot twist to it. In mine, I'll eventually be getting into a war. (Which I'm not telling you about!) That way, it's not standard. It's my own little creation.

To come up with your own, unique plot, I'd suggest you free write. That means you just sit and write whatever pops into your head for awhile. It's like writing down your thoughts. That way you can organize and refer to them easier. Start off with something like, "Ya know, this pokemon's pokedex entry is interesting. I wonder what that could mean..." Like Dragonair control the weather, slowpoke supposed made it rain, etc. You can come up with a plot from something as simple as that.

Dizzy
July 27th, 2004, 05:08 PM
Would it be fine to post my 3rd and possibly final chapter of my wonderful story since its oh so great.

oni flygon
July 27th, 2004, 05:50 PM
Oni Flygon, I recently joined ffnet, and I'm planning on posting a 'special edition' of The One Drop there. In other words, I'll take comments I've gotten from the forums I put Drop in, and use it to edit my story into a more refined version. That's what I'll be posting at ffnet. When I've got it going, would you care to be my test reader? (I believe they are also called 'beta readers' but I'm not sure.)

That's cool that you're making a fic batesy! A couple of thoughts though. Just by what you told me, it seems fairly unoriginal. Try to put a non-trainer fic plot twist to it. In mine, I'll eventually be getting into a war. (Which I'm not telling you about!) That way, it's not standard. It's my own little creation.

To come up with your own, unique plot, I'd suggest you free write. That means you just sit and write whatever pops into your head for awhile. It's like writing down your thoughts. That way you can organize and refer to them easier. Start off with something like, "Ya know, this pokemon's pokedex entry is interesting. I wonder what that could mean..." Like Dragonair control the weather, slowpoke supposed made it rain, etc. You can come up with a plot from something as simple as that.

I'd be honored to be your test reader! ^_^

Btw, Posted Chapter 72 of Ties of Love and Friendship.
Chapter 72: The choice the could have changed a life

Jesus Freak Josh
July 27th, 2004, 09:45 PM
and write whatever pops into your head
That's what I was doing! I was looking at the sticker album post for Pokmon and saw Slowpoke!

Mew13
July 28th, 2004, 11:58 AM
Chapter 2 in Mew's Chosen One is up and ready to go. Chapter 3 should be up in a couple of days.

And I'll be starting another fanfic in a couple of days (depending on how long it takes me to get a few chapters in) I'll be posting the beginning to a new fan-fic: The Origin of a Legend.

Stay tuned!!

Bhati
July 28th, 2004, 12:12 PM
Hm, never posted here before, so I guess I'll make this the first.

I made a new story, Becoming. I only have the first chapter up, but the second should be up pretty soon.

Frostweaver
July 28th, 2004, 02:50 PM
@ Aiya: the "brainstorm" stage (or what you call free write) is done a LOT easier if you're writing on paper... I've picked that up in English class, that planning on paper is a lot easier. Just carry a small notebook with you and jot down anything that's interesting. Then, flip through your interesting analyzes and just write "something." This something will be crap because it's only the frame of the story. Then start writing on top of that to get a good unique story starting.

WORST possible way to write a fanfic, is to write one after just reading one... by doing that you'll start to write a reworded copy of whatever fanfic you just read O.o; I'll personally say that if you're writing a fanfic, don't read another fanfic for a day or two to stop other authors from causing a major influence over you.

I'll love to read your special editions too ^_^


@ Oni Flygon: sure I will... but is it in FFnet or PC? O.o;? Also I'll be out of summer school in 2 days so by then I'll write the fanfic tutorial thingie for you. I'll write the rough draft first, then let other experienced authors comment on it first, and then it should be good enough of a rough guideline for fanfic writing in PC ^_^;;

Personally I dislike reading ToLaF on PC because of its enormous length, and the numerous posts of irrelevant junk in between chapters that kill my reading mood >>;

@ Batesy: Ooo... slowpoke! Great choice for the Pokemon protagonist because it's just so rare of a Pokemon for fanfics (unlike annoying little bugger Eevee >>; ). Managing a slowpoke for the protagonist is certainly an entertaining thought. The fact that Slowpoke reacts 5 seconds slow to a command will definitely cause the protagonist to rather dislike Slowpoke a bit ^_^; It's probably the FIRST fanfic I am going to read that involves the starter Pokemon not being something super agile o.o;


@ Mew 13- err... another fanfic? O.o; I'm just a bit worried if the stories' plot will mix up with one anothers... that can be quite chaotic. Just watch out for that.


@ Bhati- If I have time, I'll read your new story too ^_^ but if it's Eevee related... ahem... I'll hesitate and think about it first if I have anything else to do >>;

Bhati
July 28th, 2004, 03:21 PM
No, it's not about an Eevee. I gave up on that idea after every other story centered around it. I also stopped with Pokemon POV becuase I also find that in every other story...

oni flygon
July 28th, 2004, 04:41 PM
Posted chapter 74 of Ties of Love and Friendship. Woohoo! I'm almost to the end! ^_^

I'm throwing off a party when I finish it...XD

Jesus Freak Josh
July 28th, 2004, 10:01 PM
HUZZUH!!!!!!!!!
I got a good review for my prologue!

Mew13
July 29th, 2004, 03:33 PM
Good Work, Batesy. A good review is certainly a rarity around here....

Oh, and by the by, there's no need to worry about conflicting plots in my new fics. I am currently writing 7 or 8, all of which are original. I don't have the time to read a lot of the fics here, so my stories can't be identical to any of the ones here....

Aiya Quackform
July 29th, 2004, 10:07 PM
Chapter five of 'The One Drop' is hot off the computer, so pull up chair, sip on your Starbucks, and enjoy!

Jesus Freak Josh
July 29th, 2004, 10:26 PM
Chapter five of 'The One Drop' is hot off the computer, so pull up chair, sip on your Starbucks, and enjoy!
What about on GHPF? Is chapter whatever up?

oni flygon
July 30th, 2004, 03:58 PM
Posted Chapter 74 of Ties of Love and Friendship...

I've also posted "Forbidden Love: Chronicles of the Pious Guardian" in "Ties of Love and Friendship."

Frostweaver
July 30th, 2004, 05:34 PM
@ Ties of Love and Friendship: Err... either I'm looking at the wrong place, or is the one on PC (supposedly edited) identical to the one I read on FFnet? O.o;

@ The One Drop: Aww... I thought that some evil evil antagonists finally appeared XD blah only turned out to be another professor-type-of-character. Hmm wonder what's the blue thing that appeared near the end of the chapter?

The seviper scene is a bit odd... For one thing is that it's pretty difficult for a huge snake like Seviper to "jump" suddenly on to the top of a small hill like that O.o; It would made a bit more sense if say Mari was running through a small path in tall grass, and then Seviper suddenly came out into the middle of the path which resulted in Mari crashing into Seviper... however that's still rather minor so don't worry too much about it ^_^

*still wants to know what's the blue thing*

oni flygon
July 30th, 2004, 08:13 PM
@ Ties of Love and Friendship: Err... either I'm looking at the wrong place, or is the one on PC (supposedly edited) identical to the one I read on FFnet? O.o;



TOLAF is sorta the same thing as the one in FF.net...only...I've changed some of the descriptions and the dialouge things...well...I'm going to change some of the forest scenes too since you suggested that joining up with the twins doesn't seem to make the plot smoother...I'm going to alter some scenes... ;)

T.W North
July 31st, 2004, 12:27 AM
A Knowledgable Journey(sp?): Addictive to read, I must say. Brilliant descriptions and an alround great! :D

Aiya Quackform
July 31st, 2004, 03:07 PM
I thought you all might like to know that the Special Edition of The One Drop has now started, check it out on ffnet:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1990095/1/

Please go there, read, and review! The more reviews I get, the more likely others are to read it!

And I'd like to give a BIG thanks to Oni Flygon for being my test reader!

Jesus Freak Josh
July 31st, 2004, 03:28 PM
I didn't have enough time to read it. But if the first chapter that wasn't the special edition was great, that one must have been MUCH better!

Ytnim
July 31st, 2004, 05:39 PM
I've posted five chapters of my fic A Knowledgeable Journey so you can review it here or in the thread. Oh cool I've already got a review here! Thanks T.W North!

Frostweaver
July 31st, 2004, 11:32 PM
@ Becoming: (the whining before the congrats as always)

Plot flaw: So now if Casey knew/heard of trainers who enrolled there to study, then that means someone from the Nomeko must have came back from the island to tell the tales. What does that mean? Somebody knows where the island is then... However, you can easily fix this problem...

instead of "Right now, she needed to go to Nomeko, an island whose location is unknown, even to the trainers who would be going there." you can change it to "Right now, she needed to go to Nomeko, an island whose location is unknown to the trainers who would be going there, including herself."

Hurray for not clichd nicknames!!!!!

*rofl at Wal-Mart*

This certainly reminds me instantly of one thing after reading about a trainer taking a boat to go to an island: Pokemon the first movie. It certainly does... (but that may not necessarily be a bad thing, so don't feel discouraged. It's just that after 4 years of Pokemon fanfic reading, I do expect quite a bit more than average fanfic readers.)

oni flygon
August 1st, 2004, 11:30 AM
Posted Chapter 75 of Ties of Love and Friendship. Now, the excitement builds up to the climax... ^_^

Aiya Quackform
August 1st, 2004, 09:48 PM
Chapter 6 of The One Drop is here! I hope you all like the character Atzie, she's one of my favorite characters that I've written. I'm currently coming up with a small plot involving her. I haven't decided if I'm going to make it apart of The One Drop or make it a seperate short story.

Ytnim
August 1st, 2004, 10:49 PM
I really liked Atzie because she is sort of like the main character in my fic (A knowledgeable Journey). My char's dad is a pokemon professor based in Lavaridge and he was sent by his dad to travel all over Hoenn to get him rare pokemon to study. Anyway I really like your fic and can't wait for the next chapter!

oni flygon
August 2nd, 2004, 07:09 PM
Posted Chapter 76 of Ties of Love and Friendship has been posted! ^_^

Ytnim
August 3rd, 2004, 02:23 AM
Meh I don't reckon anyone cares cause I don't think anyone would have read it but I won't have an update for my fic for two weeks since the comp I'm using now is playing up and won't let me save anything else but I'm getting a new comp in two weeks so ya for me!

oni flygon
August 3rd, 2004, 05:34 PM
Chapter 77 for Ties of Love and Friendship has been posted...woohoo! ^_^

Only one more chapter to go! XD

EDIT:

I hope someone notices this...but...

TIES OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP IS FINISHED!!!!

Yes, people! 78 chapters and it's all finished! 10 months of toil...
It's finally finished... *sobs*

Dizzy
August 5th, 2004, 11:14 AM
Currently, I'm still writing Chapter 5 of my Fan-fiction "Gamemaster" but I haven't even put out chapters 3-5 yet. I'm planning on doing this later on.

Frostweaver
August 5th, 2004, 12:16 PM
@ Pokemon J

-a very awkward fanfic @_@; It doesnt' flow very smoothly as it's like "suddenly" everyone blasts another o.o; perhaps I just missed something? Be sure to use spell checks next time ^_^;


@ Download

-certainly quite an original idea... there aren't too many Pokemon fanfics that uses the internet. However, more descriptions can be used during the parts where it's not only an online conversation.

It has been a while since script formats made sense for a fanfic as well...

Ryoutarou
August 5th, 2004, 02:10 PM
Ya I know my spelling sucks...I'd write it in spanish...but not many people here would understand it then o_0 I'll be working on the flow of it...as I plan to make this a rather long fic.

Mew13
August 5th, 2004, 05:24 PM
I have just posted the 1st chapter in my newest fic, "Life in the Eyes of Bluk"!

Please, sit back, grab some popcorn, and enjoy viewing life from some interesting characters!!

Frostweaver
August 5th, 2004, 07:58 PM
@ Life in the Eyes of Bluk

-blah... short chapter O.o;

-Electrikes are vermins, not dogs ^_^;

-highly awkward scene: so the next day after it hatched, it pretty much has the ability to talk, and look for berries by itself (hunt?)... growth spurt certainly comes easily these days O.o;

-can't really comment much more... because not that many things happened (and also, not long enough)

Ryoutarou
August 6th, 2004, 01:48 PM
Allright I just posted proluge 04 of my fanfic....I hope I'm getting better at it...now go read and review it....please?

oni flygon
August 6th, 2004, 03:13 PM
Coming fanfiction:

Call of Dragons

I'm sorry but I can't provide a description currently. If I did, I'd spoil the whole plot... ^_^

EDIT:

Call of Dragons is posted! I hope someone will read this new fanfic! ^_^

Ryoutarou
August 7th, 2004, 08:24 AM
Allright just got the second to last prologue of Pokemon J up...then the real story can start....I hope you all enjoy it and review it

Dizzy
August 7th, 2004, 09:56 PM
I posted my latest fanfic ^_^, please be sure to check it out and review it :)

Frostweaver
August 8th, 2004, 04:42 PM
@ Sunlight

-just one correction... do use paragraph for EVERY conversation dialogue, just to keep things neat and tidy. It's just easier to read that way.

-even better than your previous ones, and the lenght got better as well. Generally, the entire story improved compare to all of your old ones ^_^ Keep writing!


@ History's Past, Present's Future

-FINALLY a darkfic for PC!! *cheers*

-excellent story so far... it's nice to have a fanfic to fill us in on what's happening before Ash's time. However, perhaps you didn't know this as a lot of people didn't, but Onna Boss was the first and creator of Team Rocket. She was the mother of Giovanni (with who-knows-who husband once again), and was a money-hungry woman. Though she did start TR, she didn't have such great plans as Giovanni to take over the region. She just wanted Pokemon for money-making tools (we see that with the Mew incident and Onna Boss... she sent off Jessie's Mother to go record Mew's voice, instead of capturing Mew.)

Mew13
August 8th, 2004, 07:32 PM
WOO! I posted chapter three in Mew's Chosen One! Take a looksie!

I'm workin on chapter two of Life In the Eyes of Bluk, trying to fix a few things I screwed up on in the 1st chapter... (like, Bluk being able to speak and hunt on his 2nd day of life.... I must apologize for that, I got caught up in the concept and lost control... and all sense of commom sense....) It should be up within the next couple of days!!

Dizzy
August 8th, 2004, 08:12 PM
Well, I added up some pictures that I promised I would add to the fan-fic. I also cleaned it up a little bit to make it easier to read. So please check it out ^_^. I'd love the reviews while I'm writing and developing pictures for the second chapter.



Sunlight (http://pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=14479)
What happens when a girl explores the same old world with a new style?

Once again I hope everyone enjoys this fanfic, I put so much work into it.

gatene
August 9th, 2004, 05:20 AM
Well, I thank you for that kind review Frostweaver. I do believe you about Onna Boss, but how did you come to find out about that? I am very curious about it.

I'm working on Part 5 now,

Gatene

Ryoutarou
August 9th, 2004, 09:00 AM
Allright got the next part of pokemon j up...well i guess you can call it another fic since it's a diffrent title. anyways just posted chapter one of my new fanfic "zeta" now someone go read it and review please...?

Frostweaver
August 9th, 2004, 07:37 PM
Oops! X_x;

Sorry Blue... I posted in your fanfic instead of here... so sorry for putting a unnecessary post inbetween your chapters x_x; will you forgive me...?


Guess Farla is right... I was being too kind on fanfic reviews. No fanfic reviews are useful if they aren't heavy on criticism. So... even stricter revies from Frosty from now on! Don't say that I didn't warn you all fanfic writers out there!


@ My Poke-Adventure:

-isn't this just script format written with punctuations? =/ You gotta expand a lot more than this! Especially since this is (another) OT fanfic, you'll need to write even harder and better to stand above the crowd (seriously, PC has 97% OT fics already) You have to have a lot more descriptions to make your fanfic more readable and enjoyable.

-grammar... GRAMMAR!!!! You have to grasp the concept of paragraphing as soon as possible. The first chapter lacked paragraphing, yet the second chapter is pretty much paragraph spamming x_x;

-the entrance of Team Rocket is highly unusual and isn't so smooth at all... you'll have to edit things out a bit to make it so that it flows a bit better

-refer to the basic writing guide stickied in this forum a bit

Abskull
August 9th, 2004, 08:06 PM
Errmmmmm... I think it's kind of late, but I already finished my story ^_^;, I just found this thread! Uhhh... I just finished Life Being a Murkrow!

Dizzy
August 9th, 2004, 09:11 PM
Congratulations, Abskull, I'm going to take the time to read it all ^_^. Right now, I'm still developing and writing Chapter II, I'll make some pictures soon too ^_^>

Frostweaver
August 9th, 2004, 11:01 PM
@ Life being a Murkrow (yes I read the whole thing)

Before I begin my heavy criticism, may the ignorant ones who say this fanfic needs no improvement (all fanfics need improvements) be body slammed by one million Snorlaxes

-it is... short... need to be expanded, like adding on adjectives and so on

-character descriptions can be worked on a bit more... and certainly try to avoid more uses of an entire paragraph dedicated to character description. The fanfic won't flow as smoothly as it can when there's those hideous paragraphs

-speaking of paragraphs, let's use paragraphs... no paragraphs should have more than one dialogue unless it's from the same person. (but then in the later parts of the story, this kinda got corrected so good job)

-Malodor and Naomi's appearances are highly awkward... as if they just appear because the Pokegod said so... (after 4 seconds of thinking) it will be a little bit better if say Naomi lead off with fire spin before the narration talks of Naomi's appearance. It's just highly awkward to see little kids trying to stone a Charizard? I mean it's just common sense to not do anything that can upset a fire breathing dragon who's probably double or even three times the little kids' height. This part needs some serious editing...

-more narration can be used... and in return, reduce the overusage of dialogues... there's so many dialogues that it's almost a scriptfic

-however, the names are very well done... goodjob on the "no cliche names" by using some original names ^_^

-just wondering... did Amy *walk* all the way? O.o; The narration never told me... she is afterall a Murkrow you know... I guess you can say that she never learned how to fly, but then the story never told me that either... hmm... wait a sec if she can use Night Shade then she should be able to do some basic flying too, right?

-what's with the Ludicolo... that whole part is just confusing...

-So in 2 chapter worth of time (with hardly any travelling mentioned) they've reached Petalburg already to see Korari? um... did someone use teleportation or something? that was a little weird how they pretty much teleported... after meeting with Korari, they need a month to get to Pallet, yet it seems like it only took them a few days to reach Petalburg... hmm strange tales

-even if it's a comedy fanfic, descriptions can still be used (I can't stress this fact enough)

-Korari's "betrayal" is... not something I understand o.o;

-the 2 legendaries are majorly OOC >>;

-Vander's addition to the group is, once again, odd... then most of the time it's odd how the Pokemon/Pokemorph joins the group...

-the map is a little screwed up... Cave of Origin is weird to begin with already... and they just arrived in Sootopolis a few chapters later?

-if you want to reach Pallet Town, you'll want to reach the *eastern* end of Jhoto, not the western end... the western end will be the Olivine area

-if Jhoto Pokemon don't know anything about the Hoenn Pokemon, how come they know what's a Murkrow or a Charizard? kinda strange...

-the Golbat/Sableye/Gengar scene is also awkward...

-well so much for Jhoto not knowing the Hoenn Pokemon... there's a Wailord stuck just right in Jhoto boys and girls! >>; Triad's offer is also a bit weird...

-the Eevees are just crazy... >>;

-how come the Pokemon cannot understand human language? that's like another plot flaw within the story...

-Malodar is unusually happy for someone who lost his entire family... awkward

-ending is um... those Natu and Xatu wishing almost seems like you don't know how to end it so you just have to find something to end it swiftly


Stone me all you want... but that's my criticism for the story. Yeah yeah I'm rather hard to please...

oni flygon
August 10th, 2004, 10:19 AM
Hey Frostweaver, if you have time, could you review my new fanfiction "Call of Dragons?"

Posted new chapter in Call of Dragons.
Posted first part of character analysis in Ties of Love and Friendship.

Frostweaver
August 10th, 2004, 06:46 PM
@ CoD

-grammar mistakes are quite common... such as the misuse of "and" and "as," along with some spelling mistakes

-(in prologue) cobalt ocean doesn't match with the setting sun scenery... (color conflict)

-Yellow really doesn't seem *that* desperate, nor did she seems to be dwelling in such despairity

-(ch.1) atmosphere conflict: roaring/raging ocean vs the fluffy white clouds in the azure sky with warm sunshine... ahem?

-(ch.2) the conflict between Nina and Dennis was a little bit rough... the story didn't flow too well there but still acceptable

-a small thing: if you mention Yellow inviting Nina to stay over for the night(s) or something, it'll make a bit more sense regarding why Nina is still around the next day

-(ch.3) the verb "filtered" needs to be put into passive voice in order to make sense in the context

-Dennis's hatred for Vincent is slightly awkward... doesn't seem too justified

-(ch.4) a minor mistake, but the narration suddenly refers to Yellow by her first name, instead of Mrs. Oak or any other formal title... rather strange

-(reader's comment) *cough cough* somebody *coughNinacough* is trying unusally hard! XD

-(ch.5) *cough* once again someone's trying hard! XD

-the "date for battle" deal was completely "what's going on?" o.O; Dennis was acting OOC


Overall, it's not bad of a start! ^^ Not enough to be "Fanfiction Master" like whatever exaggerated reviews write, but certainly enough to keep going for another good chronicle.

<><><>

@ A Look at a Pokemorph's Life

-*sigh* just refer to the reviews of your other fanfic... same thing applies

<><><>

@ Quest for the Legendary Protector

-cliche titles... not the most suitable title

-cliche names = ugh/eww! Especially when Phoenix is a bird and Blaziken is a running chicken

-a Groudon used as an elevator kills all sense of coolness from this legendary >>; then again no legendaries that are captured and tamed already in chapter 1 can ever be cool

-descriptions are lacking as mentioned by the other reviews

-highly anime style... battle 95% of the time, and everything else the other 5%

-Pyra doesn't act like 6, even if she's special... and the fanfic really didn't hint of anything that she's special too. It didn't flow well at all for chapter 2.

Ryoutarou
August 11th, 2004, 12:11 PM
Hey frost could you go reveiw my next two chapters? I couldent use that spell check thing it kept bugging out on me...so I just reread it over and over and over again untill I fixed all I thought was wrong

oni flygon
August 11th, 2004, 12:29 PM
@ CoD

-Yellow really doesn't seem *that* desperate, nor did she seems to be dwelling in such despairity



The story mentioned that something happened to her 3 months ago... ^_^

-(ch.2) the conflict between Nina and Dennis was a little bit rough... the story didn't flow too well there but still acceptable

-Dennis's hatred for Vincent is slightly awkward... doesn't seem too justified


I'm going to explain that later in the story.

the "date for battle" deal was completely "what's going on?" o.O; Dennis was acting OOC

The story talks about Dennis being desperate. I designed him to be self-centered. ^_^

Thanks for reviewing, Frostweaver! I've edited some parts especially environmental conflicts...

~*~*~*~

Posted new chapter in Call of Dragons
New Character Analysis posted in Ties of Love and Friendship

Frostweaver
August 11th, 2004, 12:58 PM
-well that isn't enough... I do know of that line, but still her actions aren't as desperate as what the narration claims to be. Her actions, especially tone of voice, gotta match up with her desperation. I mean, she seems to be capable of thinking somewhat logically even during the moment she's about to suicide x_x;

-even if the hatred is to be explained later, you can't let it fly loose like that... x_x; Gotta drop off a hints here and there saying that there's some grudge between the two before this event.

-if you want Dennis to be self centered, there are TONS of opportunities for you to do that in your story. Also, his friendliness and his sense of responsibility as a big brother for Amy are somewhat acting against this personality of his... he seemed quite selfless and "perfect" at the moment of looking for Amy (especially when he waits for Nina to catch up and etc... it maybe better if you say that he just runs ahead of her despite of her calling for him to wait up and etc etc etc)

Well... have to go read Blue's story, then I'll come back to edit ToLaF, and then finally go see the new chapter of CoD o.o;


@ Zeta

-I dunno... the spellcheck website worked pretty well for me... I even tried to throw one of your paragraphs in and it successfully picked up some mistakes. Oh well

-once again, captured legendaries are never cool... or at least, not ones that got previewed by a computer

"I'm pretty good. It only took me 1 year to get Thirty-two badges...It's a wonder i made it this far" said Elli
-A contradicting sentence... the beginning part sounds like she's boasting/bragging, while the second part makes her seem so modest x_x;

-battling scene is rather awkward... nonstop Hydro pump was completely... err... new but unrealistic

-the way how Diya informs Zi of his family history and the current situation is a bit unreal, and not very smooth

-just HAVE to watch out for "he" and "she" mistakes... this one is quite crucial. You may not want Zi's father to be a female XD

-3 continous chapters of animestyle-battling can be a bit boring... as not much of anything else is happening at all. However the best cure for this is probably developing Diya's personality as the battle goes along... like playing mind games and whatever interesting stuff on any mysterious characters

Abskull
August 11th, 2004, 02:04 PM
I know I need some work on it, my mom said the same exact thing.

I made a sequel (SP?) for it though, it will even better! It's called A Look at a PokeMorph's Life.

Aiya Quackform
August 11th, 2004, 04:55 PM
Chapter 2 of the The One Drop: Special Edition is now out. Go read and review, people!!!

http://www.fanfiction.net/~aiyaquackform

Dizzy
August 11th, 2004, 05:34 PM
I wanna do another Fanfic, that takes place in the same time, It's called Moonlight Shadow, about Orange's friend Diamond, yes there will be pictures, and a Title Screen ^_^ Even a Themesong ^_^

Frostweaver
August 11th, 2004, 06:19 PM
before you even start Dizzy, already got critiques for that fanfic

-super mega cliched titles aka not cool

-it's a fanfic, not a music video... o.o; focus on writing, and just stick with pictures as extras... don't need *all* of those things or else it'll take things away from the fanfic.

Dizzy
August 11th, 2004, 07:35 PM
I'm only trying to make my fan-fics super-readable since people ignored them anyways. I just wanna have a fan-fic like everyone else where people actually read them instead of me wasting my time and putting effort in for nothing.

oni flygon
August 11th, 2004, 07:42 PM
-well that isn't enough... I do know of that line, but still her actions aren't as desperate as what the narration claims to be. Her actions, especially tone of voice, gotta match up with her desperation. I mean, she seems to be capable of thinking somewhat logically even during the moment she's about to suicide x_x;

-even if the hatred is to be explained later, you can't let it fly loose like that... x_x; Gotta drop off a hints here and there saying that there's some grudge between the two before this event.

-if you want Dennis to be self centered, there are TONS of opportunities for you to do that in your story. Also, his friendliness and his sense of responsibility as a big brother for Amy are somewhat acting against this personality of his... he seemed quite selfless and "perfect" at the moment of looking for Amy (especially when he waits for Nina to catch up and etc... it maybe better if you say that he just runs ahead of her despite of her calling for him to wait up and etc etc etc)

Well... have to go read Blue's story, then I'll come back to edit ToLaF, and then finally go see the new chapter of CoD o.o;




I see what you mean now.. XD

I need to work on my characters... *goes of editing some parts*

BLah...I edited some 20+ chapters of ToLaF ... 50+ more...

Frostweaver
August 11th, 2004, 08:19 PM
@ CoD ch.5:

-CRITICAL ERROR! No dark scenes of angst should ever involve names (most of the time this is true, and certainly true in this case)! Scrape off every "Dennis" in that scene and replace them all with "he" to add mysterious feelings to the dark atmosphere. As for the last line in the dark scene, change it somehow so that it reveals no name.

-no point of revealing the fact that those eyes are from a dragon of some sort either

-Frosty detects a lack of experience of angst-style writing here! ;p And only by writing more will you ever fix this... generally, that scene wasn't "dark" enough for the audience to be gasping in fear... (not exaggerating... good writers like Brian who mysteriously got lost in a FFNet database error can really do that...)

-once again, the date line is unusual : " The date is off, Dennis. I didnt want a date anyway. I only battled you because you forced me too. very ood... lol Nina and dates seem to only result in a picky Frosty pecking Oni's back it seems ;p

-how Nina broke in was unexplained and that's not very good either...

-the police won't only refer to Dennis as "the kid" when they think that he is the kidnapper... try "the kidnapper" or even "murderer"

-more setting conflict: don't use the word "horizon" when it's at night... horizon usually talks of sunrise or sunset.

-the dragonair swarm cannot be a "sentinel" if they're the one attacking. Sentinel just doesn't make any sense here. Sentinel means a look out. This word can only be used for the defending side in a war-like context.

-plot flaw: the chasing guards' reactions are unusually slow... WAY too slow to be even semi-logical. This delay in action resulted in a few short paragraphs making no sense at all.

-mega plot flaw: I see no reason why the guards of Pewter will not just shoot the kid who they believe to be the trainer of the dragonair pack immediately. They are once again, unusually slow in deciding to just shoot Dennis along with the dragonair pack.

-*cough* it would make a lot more sense (along with the fact that it'll be more visually pleasing to your fanfic audiences) if the dragonairs just blasted the guards apart to save Dennis, and then took leave... it's also a good way to resolve the tension that you built up. Currently, the tension was building just fine all along and BAM! Nothing happens.

-3rd time already, the guards of Pewter are acting stupid... why in the world would they let a highly dangerous criminal run loose to the other cities?


(please don't kill me for the last comment ._.)

In short, the chapter is...

(DON'T KILL ME!)

Overrated.

*arms himself with flame shield as he quickly runs away from the scene, using the shield as his only means of protection from the raging flames from the angry fanfic readers of PC, and Oni's fanclub*

oni flygon
August 12th, 2004, 07:44 AM
Nah, not angry at you...XD

It's been a while since I've gotten a real review...I was relly trying to find something that's wrong in my writing style. Note that this is my first attempt to darkfics...XD

You made a point about the police guards letting him loose...I'll edit that perhaps...XD

Fixen
August 12th, 2004, 08:34 AM
*shoots barrage of missiles at Frostweaver. XD
*follows up with nuke

Ryoutarou
August 12th, 2004, 08:49 AM
Ya I got more of my fic up. It's chapter four it's a set up for the deoxys corp arc of the story

oni flygon
August 12th, 2004, 09:53 AM
Fixen, stop it! XD

posted new chapter on Call of Dragons and new character analysis in Ties of Love and Friendship...

Frostweaver
August 12th, 2004, 12:43 PM
@ CoD ch.6 version 2 + ch. 7

-it's a lot better now with the dragonairs slaughtering all of the chasing guards instead.

-short fight scene but it served its purpose for the plot. it was short but sweet and realistic, so it really doesn't matter regarding the length of that in the end

-time to pick up the thesaurus! there's no need for 3 "darkness" in a paragraph that's 4 lines long... try using "shadow" or "umbra" once in awhile, or any other similar words that you can find

-Nina is OOC in ch. 7... she seems quite jolly even though she has just vitnessed one terrifying battles between Pewter city guards and the mysterious dragon army. Even though she's obviously less terrified than Dennis, she shouldn't be *that* happy

-minor diction note: "he can worm out of every tight situation" does make sense if you look at what the dictionary says, but at the same time, worm is a "very low" verb that really doesn't describes glorious scenes, but more like some dishonorable or embarassing escape. I don't think anyone will notice that but minor word changes here and there does eventually affect the mood

-great improvement for creating Dennis's character and his battle lust

-there aren't even nearly as much plot flaws as last chapter... great job!

oni flygon
August 12th, 2004, 03:08 PM
@ CoD ch.6 version 2 + ch. 7

-Nina is OOC in ch. 7... she seems quite jolly even though she has just vitnessed one terrifying battles between Pewter city guards and the mysterious dragon army. Even though she's obviously less terrified than Dennis, she shouldn't be *that* happy



Oh crap...I forgot that part. When I wrote this, I haven't planned on getting the guards killed first...

Anyways, I'm gonna edit it...

Dizzy
August 12th, 2004, 03:58 PM
Sorry for the major delay, I will have Act II up by tonight if not earlier. I just have so much to do and so little time so please bear with me.

Mew13
August 12th, 2004, 04:27 PM
Any chance of getting a review on the updated Mew's Chosen One? Just wondering...

~~~~~~~~~~

I posted Chapter 4 anywho... so reviews would be greatly appreciated!!

Frostweaver
August 12th, 2004, 08:07 PM
SHAMELESS ADVERTISEMENT

Please go read my fanfic! Critiques of any form are welcomed! Praises and flames are also welcomed! But don't give me the "this fanfic needs no improvement!" crap.

Note: not suitable for people who didn't watch the Pokemon anime within the past year

XP

ok now on to the others' reviews

@ A Look at Pokemorph's Life

-still the same-o, same-o o.o;

@ The Ghost and the Darkness

-again, same-o same-o like last time... you're publishing an awful lot of chapters within such a short time period. Use some time to make the chapters longer and add on some description.

Ice demon
August 12th, 2004, 08:25 PM
lol ok ^_^
whatever u say sir XP

PS go read the Ghost and The Darkness
it sucks but i want all the help i can get

oni flygon
August 14th, 2004, 07:59 PM
New chapter in Call of Dragons. Chapter 8!

Final Character Analysis posted in Ties of Love and Friendship...

Drak Hamayashi
August 15th, 2004, 11:04 AM
Okay, I posted the first chapter of a new fanfic I asked Pyra if I could work on. It's called "Quest for Justice," and it'll show why it'll be called that later on. ^^;

It's based on our RP, so don't flame me! *Cowers* o.o;

Ryoutarou
August 16th, 2004, 11:15 AM
There I did my new fic "the dreamer" it took forever to get the spell check done...yet I think there are still stuff wrong with it. Reviews please!

oni flygon
August 16th, 2004, 07:42 PM
Short Sequel to Ties of love and Friendship posted... (may contain spoilers if you didn't read Ties of Love and Friendship)

Chapter 9 of Call of Dragons posted

Frostweaver
August 17th, 2004, 12:41 AM
SHAMELESS ADVERTISEMENT #2

-go read the current sticky aka my fanfic- Mere Velleity =)

I'll give anyone who read it a cookie! And thanks to Oni to sticky it too ^_^ *gives 2 cookies*

@ The Ghost and the Darkness (redoned)

-ahem... the prelude scene looks rather "familiar" doesn't it... why it looks like I've read it elsewhere before! Hmm... I wonder what fanfic that can be... it cannot possibly come from *my fanfic* can it?

(lol how dare you stole my Jirachi scene! However, you're now pardoned XD)

-renaming chapter 1 to "Prelude" seems more fitting

-like mentioned, be sure to have a blank line between each paragraph

-overall minor grammatical mistakes, and there are a lot less compare to last time

-now an unnecessary allusion occured... don't give your character a name of "Seto" unless it's a YGO crossover or YGO allusion. I mean like I was reading and then suddenly the thought of "I sacrifice my two monsters on the field for the Blue Eyes White Dragon!" popped into my mind when I came across the name of Seto XD. Don't name the character Seto (it'll make the readers think of Seto Kaiba)

-it's a little bit repetitive after hearing so many "first voice said, second voice said, third voice said" and etc... after the first time, you no longer need to introduce who said what everytime. Just go on with the conversation without saying which of the 3 voices said it.

-overall, a *much* better job in comparison to the previous version. There are a lot more details, and the scenes flow a little bit better with the awake and dreaming theme. The only thing lacking is perhaps character background information of Sarah, which is not something that has to be mentioned in the beginning of the story. As long as you *eventually* mention it, it will be all okay.

@ Call of Dragons (ch.8 and 9)

-in the beginning of the chapter, Dennis seems to suddenly become "the perfect man" again for a short while, even when Vincent was present... OOC a little bit. It'll be better if his kindness lasted only after Vincent left the room already.

-yay it's the infamous love triangle, mother of all romance fanfic! ^^

-Nina: (*cough* ok ok we all know who you want already, no need to make yourself so sickenly obvious XD)
(that was rather a comment, and is nothing negative)

-Dennis's feelings regarding the dragons can be smoothed out slightly, but that's rather minor

-Dennis's party's acquaintance with the mysterious man is rather awkward... why would Nina and Vincent stand still to watch Dennis getting beaten up (in a way)? Also, Dennis's punch against the man is unexplained. Even for a person like Dennis, you still need some reasonings to why something like that happened...

-the scene with the "goddess" can be even darker but then only experience can fix that. Also, the "goddess" seems to be rather "quite mortal" with the way how she keeps saying "it's the first time I feel <such and such> about a mortal." Those corny mortal-only lines are not so fitting for a "goddess."

Mew13
August 17th, 2004, 06:52 PM
Posted Chapter two in "Life in the Eyes of Bluk"

SOMEONE PLEASE REVIEW IT!!!! (As no ones reviewing either of my fics...)

Frostweaver
August 17th, 2004, 07:25 PM
@ Life in the Eyes of Bluk:

-transition is still not very smooth... rather choppy

-now here's a big problem: why the heck will a Pokemon be so friendly towards an invader? O.o; Also all Pokemon are too magically understanding in nature... odd

-anime-style

-lacking a bit of description in terms of setting

Dizzy
August 17th, 2004, 07:29 PM
Congratulations frostweaver, totally dig your fan-fic. I want to compare to you, and trust me, I will ^_^. Sunlight Chapter 2+3 on the way to posting.

Mew13
August 17th, 2004, 07:31 PM
Is anima style a bad thing?

oni flygon
August 17th, 2004, 08:15 PM
Is anima style a bad thing?

Anime style is too stereo-typed.

If you noticed, my fanfics demonstrate "manga style battles"

The Pokemon don't growl their names for one example. ^^

Frostweaver
August 17th, 2004, 08:22 PM
anime style is flooded and is everywhere O.o; it is quite unoriginal at the same time. Also, it's not that difficult to demonstrate Pokemon battling without being anime-styled.

It IS possible to stay away from anime-styled battling, even if you're in situations such as gym battles. Tainted Webs on ffnet does a very good job on that.

@ Dizzy:

-Aww thank you for your kind comments ^^; I doubt that I can really be much of a good fanfic writer though

gatene
August 18th, 2004, 01:47 PM
To Oni Flygon:

Uhm, what exactly characterizes anime-style battling? Is growling their names one of them? If so, I've read some Pokmon manga, and it shows the Pokmon saying their names when they growl, especially during a battle. Perhaps I got it all wrong, please clarify, so I know what to do diff in my story too, and FrostWeaver please add to his reply too. I want people to be able to read my fanfic as if it were based in the real world.

Gatene

Frostweaver
August 18th, 2004, 02:02 PM
Anime battling- A way a fanfic writer describes a Pokemon battling scene, as if it is a battle from the anime. Anime battling relies heavily on trainer's commands within conversations, and usually lacks description in the Pokemon itself. Anime battling focuses on the trainers giving the commands, rather than seeing the Pokemon in action (as if you're watching the anime and you can see the Pokemon battle, so the writer didn't bother with much work in Pokemon battling). The Pokemon trainers say an unnecessary lots, making the battling scene feeling very laggy and boring. Trainers also like to say "anime lines" (corny lines) such as "try to get up," "you earn yourself a good rest" and all other battling common phrases that everyone who watched 5 episodes of Pokemon would have memorized already.


Anime battling will be something like...:

"Go Alakazam!" exclaimed Trainer A as he throw out a red and white sphere. Alakazam came out and eyed his opponents.

"Go Tauros" shouted Trainer B. Her Tauros was let loose from the Pokeball.

"Alakazam, use your psychic attack!" said Trainer A as his Pokemon launched the psychic attack right at Tauros.

"Oh no Tauros hang on! Don't give up!" shouted Trainer B as her Tauros got back on his feet. "Alright now counter it with horn attack!"

"Alakazam use teleport to escape!" said Trainer A. Alakazam dodged out of the horn attack.

"You're doing great Tauros! Keep chasing it down with horn attack!" commanded Trainer B as her Tauros launched multiple horn attacks at the psychic Pokemon.

"No Alakazam we cannot lose this gym battle! Use your disable to stop it!"

<repeat crap like that for 60 more paragraphs>


As you see, the trainer does a lot more than the Pokemon which is terrible. We see them giving commands more than the battling itself. Very ugly... however, there are 2 methods on stopping yourself from anime battling.

a) don't use so much conversation commands

b) add in description

The above scene can be improved into something like this to escape anime battling...


A gym battle has begun in the city of <blank>, as the challenger Trainer A stepped up to the plate. At his call, a psychic Pokemon appeared on the scene, with its deadly psychic weapons ready to launch its fatal attacks. The gym leader reacted calmly at the intimidating scene, and summoned her raging Tauros out into the battlefield.

"Alakazam, use your psychic attack now!"

The Pokemon obeyed the command as he raised up his hands, and a purple blast of energy was shot forward from its two metal spoons directly at the helpless Tauros in the blink of an eye. The bull Pokemon was forced onto the ground at the sheer power of the attack, and slid across the gym floor as the gym leader gasped at the power of the devastating psychic attack.


It's still a Pokemon battle, and trainers can still give commands. But this way it's a lot more entertaining.

Anime battling is sometimes purposely used for one of the trainer in a Pokemon battle (usually the loser of the battle) to indicate the fact that this trainer is an idiot. It's pretty much the only time when anime battling is allowed: to mock a trainer.

oni flygon
August 18th, 2004, 02:11 PM
Anime battling- A way a fanfic writer describes a Pokemon battling scene, as if it is a battle from the anime. Anime battling relies heavily on trainer's commands within conversations, and usually lacks description in the Pokemon itself. Anime battling focuses on the trainers giving the commands, rather than seeing the Pokemon in action (as if you're watching the anime and you can see the Pokemon battle, so the writer didn't bother with much work in Pokemon battling). The Pokemon trainers say an unnecessary lots, making the battling scene feeling very laggy and boring. Trainers also like to say "anime lines" (corny lines) such as "try to get up," "you earn yourself a good rest" and all other battling common phrases that everyone who watched 5 episodes of Pokemon would have memorized already.


Anime battling will be something like...:

"Go Alakazam!" exclaimed Trainer A as he throw out a red and white sphere. Alakazam came out and eyed his opponents.

"Go Tauros" shouted Trainer B. Her Tauros was let loose from the Pokeball.

"Alakazam, use your psychic attack!" said Trainer A as his Pokemon launched the psychic attack right at Tauros.

"Oh no Tauros hang on! Don't give up!" shouted Trainer B as her Tauros got back on his feet. "Alright now counter it with horn attack!"

"Alakazam use teleport to escape!" said Trainer A. Alakazam dodged out of the horn attack.

"You're doing great Tauros! Keep chasing it down with horn attack!" commanded Trainer B as her Tauros launched multiple horn attacks at the psychic Pokemon.

"No Alakazam we cannot lose this gym battle! Use your disable to stop it!"

<repeat crap like that for 60 more paragraphs>


As you see, the trainer does a lot more than the Pokemon which is terrible. We see them giving commands more than the battling itself. Very ugly... however, there are 2 methods on stopping yourself from anime battling.

a) don't use so much conversation commands

b) add in description

The above scene can be improved into something like this to escape anime battling...


A gym battle has begun in the city of <blank>, as the challenger Trainer A stepped up to the plate. At his call, a psychic Pokemon appeared on the scene, with its deadly psychic weapons ready to launch its fatal attacks. The gym leader reacted calmly at the intimidating scene, and summoned her raging Tauros out into the battlefield.

"Alakazam, use your psychic attack now!"

The Pokemon obeyed the command as he raised up his hands, and a purple blast of energy was shot forward from its two metal spoons directly at the helpless Tauros in the blink of an eye. The bull Pokemon was forced onto the ground at the sheer power of the attack, and slid across the gym floor as the gym leader gasped at the power of the devastating psychic attack.


It's still a Pokemon battle, and trainers can still give commands. But this way it's a lot more entertaining.

Anime battling is sometimes purposely used for one of the trainer in a Pokemon battle (usually the loser of the battle) to indicate the fact that this trainer is an idiot. It's pretty much the only time when anime battling is allowed: to mock a trainer.

Lol, I wasn't sure about the anime style battling and I thought my battle scenes will be classified as that...good thing to know that mine aren't anime style battles.. *sigh of relief*

Ryoutarou
August 18th, 2004, 02:16 PM
Got chapter 2 up of my fic. Thanks to CK for the editing. Reviews please...