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Toblerone
April 22nd, 2008, 12:05 PM
Another one of my attempts at poetry. You are free to criticise it. I think i could make it better. It would be helpful if you gave me some tips. Thanks.

Rainbow

The end of a rainbow, what lies there?
Chase after it, people dare.
‘Cos at the end, of the thing so bright,
Lies gold, that glints in light.

Further and further, you wander the earth,
You’ve crossed mountains, and miles of turf.
Stay strong, be bold,
Will you ever find that gold?

Over valleys, through lakes,
You will risk anything, whatever it takes.
The gold is better than the sweetest honey,
You can’t wait to get that money!

Hurrah! Hooray!
Today is your day!
You’ve walked through lakes, and through the deepest ditch.
Oh my god, you’re filthy rich!!

Cookie luvs Green
April 22nd, 2008, 12:31 PM
Hrhr it made me laugh. I could just imagine a leprechaun singing it and stuff. I'M SO UNORIGINAL FOR LINKING RAISINBOWS TO LEPRECHAUNS!!!!
Very cheerful. I think this needs to be on front a newspaper one day to contrast the saddy sad news. (PS: The last line is my favourite.)

REPLY FOR BELOW: NO PROBLEM.

Toblerone
April 22nd, 2008, 12:33 PM
Thanks for that! I'm actually doing something right :)