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Wallace Berlitz
May 31st, 2008, 09:17 AM
AFTER RUBY AND SAPPHIRE SUCCESS STOP THE FIERCE BATTLE OF KYOGRE, GROUDON AND RAYQUAZA... ANOTHER STORY BEGIN...

Notes:
This story will follow Manga Series. And the Pokemon Contest will follow Anime Series. But most of the story is base on the Manga Series. And sorry about my poor English. I hope you forgive that.

- About -
After Ruby and Sapphire completed stop the battle of Kyogre and Groudon, awake Rayquaza and set the Hoenn peace again, completed Battle Frontier, the new story begin... It's about a new explore of Kanto. Someone had brought 4th Generation to Kanto and Prof.Birch ordered Sapphire and Ruby to explore and find out who did that. And Prof.Oak also sent 3 new trainer from Sandgem Town to complete all contest and all gym to rescue the mystery trainer that already became rock. The only hope is to find Arceus to relive the trainer...

...Features and Request...
- You can request to be part of the character of my story
- The story will focus at Kanto and the Seven Island
- There's plenty of 4th Generation Pokemon
- The whole story is about Exploring and find out the mystery of Manaphy Egg
- Sapphire and Ruby added
- New Pokemon Contest MC
- Wallace, Nurse Joy and the new character called Mr.Felix will be the judge of Pokemon Contest
- Pokemon Contest will have the Pokemon Battle
- Others Character may be in this Comic

...Characters...
Ryan (me)
Emelie (The female character)
Sapphire
Ruby
Wallace
And many random Characters

...Episodes Link...

CHAPTER ONE
Page One: http://img503.imageshack.us/img503/6879/episodeonegf2.png

Aero-LyNx
May 31st, 2008, 04:16 PM
Nice comic!
Well can you make it on box?
It will be very nice to read
Maybe ti's kinda like this.
http://i32.tinypic.com/64mp8o.jpg

Wallace Berlitz
May 31st, 2008, 09:18 PM
Hmm... It's hard to decided because I use MS Paint to do my comic. Btw, thanks for the praise

Aero-LyNx
June 1st, 2008, 02:54 AM
No problem. ^_^
Well, I'm making comic too in MS Paint, but I'm making five pages first before I post them. Comment my comic when I post them OK?

๒inaryקlastic
June 1st, 2008, 05:09 AM
Meh... it's Okay b to layout your comics a bit better. I like the story line though but maybe you should make a story out of some of the things. Like when she went to slateport you could make up that a Pokemon attacked her. Check out mine (Scott's Pokemon Journey) for help...

GreenStorm
June 1st, 2008, 05:56 AM
Well, I can see a lot of problems here:

-Like Kenwannabe said, align your panels and put them in boxes. You can leave the borders white if you want, but align them. It's a bit frustrating to read them even if you know how to.
-Don't skip from one character to the other just like that. Write meanwhile somewhere to let us know. Just like the "After several minutes", write "meanwhile".
-Put your name on your comic, so people will know you made it.
-Don't rush. This is a big problem. How did Sapphire get to Slateport City just like that?

I'm not going to comment about the sentences and such because you don't have good English but try to use a program like MS Word so people can understand your comic better.

Wallace Berlitz
June 1st, 2008, 06:29 AM
By Toxic0345
Like when she went to slateport you could make up that a Pokemon attacked her.
By GreenStorm
Don't rush. This is a big problem. How did Sapphire get to Slateport City just like that?

Haha, same question. Since you want to know how Sapphire reached to Slateport City and make some more about how she found Chikorita, I'll do another extra one.

No problem. ^_^
Well, I'm making comic too in MS Paint, but I'm making five pages first before I post them. Comment my comic when I post them OK?

I promise I'll comment yours.

Like Kenwannabe said, align your panels and put them in boxes. You can leave the borders white if you want, but align them. It's a bit frustrating to read them even if you know how to.

OK. I'll try to make line it. Promse ;)

Platinum Lucario
June 2nd, 2008, 01:18 AM
Hi Ryan, that's a really cooool Sprite Comic you've made there, it would be good if you made a hack on this. Anyway good luck on it.:)

Wallace Berlitz
June 2nd, 2008, 07:26 AM
Hi Ryan, that's a really cooool Sprite Comic you've made there, it would be good if you made a hack on this. Anyway good luck on it.:)

Haha, I've consider about hacking. But I don't know how to script.

GreenStorm
June 4th, 2008, 04:52 PM
So, do you have any new updates?

ComoToon
June 4th, 2008, 06:53 PM
Nice comic too many panels though and no layout ruined a little.

Wallace Berlitz
June 5th, 2008, 11:23 PM
So, do you have any new updates?

Yes, but not that fast. I'm re-making Episode One because many people dislike the view. So I box them and it'll be more neat. I'll update whenever I'm ready.

Nice comic too many panels though and no layout ruined a little.

Well, for now, I'm remaking the Episodes so I guess it'll improved.

Wallace Berlitz
June 9th, 2008, 08:44 AM
Sorry, I should not to double post but I added new sheet.

GreenStorm
June 9th, 2008, 01:14 PM
Well, there are a few grammar errors. And I got confused with the Viridian city sign because it's connected to 2 panels.

Wallace Berlitz
June 9th, 2008, 06:07 PM
The Viridian sign is to tell you, the main character is at Viridian City for now. Hehe... Sorry, I confused everyone?? And what's the grammar error? Can you tell me?

Aero-LyNx
June 10th, 2008, 03:28 AM
Well, i've found one of the error grammar
"Time to go to ride to pallet town"

Well, you can fix it into "Time to go to Pallet town"

GreenStorm
June 10th, 2008, 12:45 PM
Well:

Original: I forgot to take out my cap before I sleep.
Fixed: I forgot to take my cap off before I slept.

Original: Today is my 14th birthday and I'm going to Pallet Town to have my first Pokemon!
Fixed: Today is my 14th birthday and I'm going to Pallet Town to get my first Pokemon!

Also, what Kenwannabe said. "Time to go to Pallet Town" not "Time to ride to Pallet Town".

And try to make your story a bit more interesting than the usual journey.

Wallace Berlitz
June 11th, 2008, 06:58 PM
Alright. I will. Thanks for the fixing.