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Beginnings
July 19th, 2008, 07:40 PM
It's not the best, but I thought I might as well post them here,
Comments please :)

Love can't save you

The thing is….
I can’t explain it,
But here I am trying,
So I’ll give it a go

It’s like I’m flying,
Now I’m falling
Cause I know it can’t be true
My thoughts, they all seem to point right at you,
Missing you, wherever you are,
Seeing your smile,
I remember why I waste my time dreaming of you,
I know we’re just friends,
But nevertheless,
All I can think about is you,
Sure I may’ve liked other people,
You probably have too,
But I’ve never felt this before,
And I’m feeling it for you.


He.
He wears his heart on his sleeve,
But he wears his sleeves long, to hide his scars
He feels alone in a world full of faces
An isolated island in an ocean of loneliness
The doc keeps the meds rolling, but they don't help
The emptiness grows,
He knows he's heading for hell
The race is run he can't keep up
He let's go unable to catch the perceptions
An empty shell, he walks
At night all alone he leaves the godforsaken home,
All he knows, is scribbled down in the smallest of books
Tucked away under a pillow
His dreams are his refuge,
Sleep, he wishes he could forever
He knows he's a failure
He can't bear to drag on
Collapsing into himself, a rotting interior
In a worse exterior
His mind is an asylum,
Absently dreaming of more than this
He knows it can't happen
A single note scribbled on the wall
"Now I'm The Most Free Of Them All."

This One Is A Song :/
I can't remember [to forget]

I can't see the bottom,
But I don't care.
I'll jump, from this plane
And then I begin to fall
I see in vain,
I left my parachute at the top

And now I fall,
And now I fall,

When I fall to the ground,
I see the memories, flyin on by
I remember the relapse,
of my life
And somehow, I see,
You right beside me.

It seems to me,
I seem to be
The kinda guy who forgets everything
And yet in my head
Theres a clear image,
But I can't figure out,
Who it's supposed to be

And now we fall,
And now we fall,


When I fall to the ground,
I see the memories, flyin on by
I remember the relapse,
of my life
And somehow, I see,
You right beside me.

When I fall to the ground
[flyin on by]
I remember the relapse
[of you]
I can see you
[right beside me]
But I can't
re-mem-ber you. [cut off immediately

Poem Without A Title (Any Suggestions)

When I look into a mirror,
What should I see?
I really don't know what I can be,
Inside I fall apart,
While I make it hard to see
it's there none the less,
Eating away at me
I take it in stride,
And try to suppress
But it bottles up inside
And adds to all the rest
I'm falling apart,
Ripping at the seams,
Like an old and rotting building,
Who can't support its beams
I see the shadow of what I used to be
And watch in sorrow,While I wonder how it came to be.
I'm falling apart,
Ripping at the seams,
Like an old rotting building
Who can't support its beams.....

Memory Lane

Black roses lay on memory lane
The sky is crying its full of pain
It can scare away the bravest child,
Or wipe away the brightest smile
Hopes wash away in a river of tears
So many people with so many fears
The monsters appear and their breaking my heart,
And slowly but surely I'm left in the dark
My dreams wont come true,
The smiles will fade, the braveness will go.
Instead of my heart, they're stabbing my back
And I notice one thing,
The roses are black.
So we have just one last moment together,
Oh how we wish it could last us forever.
But I see you leaving, and you're not coming back,
The world is crying again and the sky is black
The world is sad, but so am I.
We're hating each other because you lied,
Why cant you understand that for you I would die?
Remember all the good time and the memories we shared?
Your true colors have shown and I guess you never cared.
I see you've moved on, and made other friends,
But, you were all I had, and for me it's the end.


A Letter To Myself (!!NEW!!)

My heart feels ready to burst,
Love brimming from the seams
The pain is agony,
I can't understand it,
Why?
Everytime I think of you,
Your smile,
Your eyes,
Your voice,
My heart aches,
So this is what I'm reduced to,
A letter to myself, to be mailed in a week,
Filled with love and emotion,
That I'll never understand,
Feelings left unexplained,
Are felt in vain,
I want to say something,
to anyone,
I can't find the words,
or the courage to say them,
you turn to walk away,
and that's when I say
I love you

No Title Yet:

An all time low,
From an all time high,
These broken wings weren't meant to fly
An island of misery,
In a sea of pain
My feelings for you never waned
Old scars open,
New ones appear
The loss is the deepest wound,
Absence of love the sharpest knife

Has there ever been a time,
In this wretched life on mine
Where you saw my love?
Felt as I've felt?
Loved as I've loved?
Or hurt like I've hurt?
I'm ready to burst,
Filled to the brim with emotions that could never be
Love that will never be returned,
and pain that will scar,

They say time heals all wounds,
But they don't know my love for you

yup yup :)

moments.
July 20th, 2008, 02:10 AM
Wow they are some deep love poems..
I really like the language used in Memory Lane and Love Can't save you.
I like the way they are written with feeling and compassion and it reflects on the poet.
When I read those I felt quite dark and emotional which is what you were intending and I believed every word of your poem.
The flow is good and I loved the patterns.
Keep writing beautiful poems.

Beginnings
July 20th, 2008, 03:44 PM
Thank you soooo much.
It always makes me feel good when people enjoy my poetry :)
Yea, I'm not really a consistent writer, which is one of my many flaws,
But when the words come the flow from mind, to palm, to pen, to paper.

moments.
July 20th, 2008, 04:43 PM
Well I can assure you that consistency is something, but the ability to write amazing poems without consistency is great!
I would recommend keeping a pad of paper and a pen with you always for when small emotions or feelings are expressed which you like or even just 1 sentence. Write it down wherever you are and you will succeed greatly. (grasshopper?)

Beginnings
July 20th, 2008, 05:54 PM
Thanks for the advice :)
I think I'll start doing that
Thank you master I will train diligently :P

Beginnings
August 5th, 2008, 06:37 PM
hey guys, i added the newest poem and i removed spoilers to make it easier on the eyes :)

MrRandomIDon'tCare
August 25th, 2008, 05:30 AM
very awesome :D:D check out my lyrics thread in this poetry section. and i want to give you a proposition. how would you like it if i made memory lane into a song? i am a musician, and i would give credit to you for the lyrics. how bout it :D:D

Toblerone
August 25th, 2008, 09:19 AM
Wow. I loved all of these poems. You pour passion into your poems, my favourite was (as is most of the other posters) was memory lane. It had a very good flow.