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Beginnings
July 22nd, 2008, 10:29 AM
This is my latest poem that I wrote, comments, reviews, and suggestions please?

No Title Yet:

An all time low,
From an all time high,
These broken wings weren't meant to fly
An island of misery,
In a sea of pain
My feelings for you never waned
Old scars open,
New ones appear
The loss is the deepest wound,
Absence of love the sharpest knife

Has there ever been a time,
In this wretched life on mine
Where you saw my love?
Felt as I've felt?
Loved as I've loved?
Or hurt like I've hurt?
I'm ready to burst,
Filled to the brim with emotions that could never be
Love that will never be returned,
and pain that will scar,

They say time heals all wounds,
But they don't know my love for you

Eh, this ones alright, but I want some advice on how I can make it better,
If you would like to read some of my other writing, I have another thread in this forum somewhere.

Black Rose
July 22nd, 2008, 10:47 AM
Very beautiful, very expressive. ^_^

Some titles I could see for this are:

Timeless Pain
Mending a Broken Heart
Ignored Love

~BR

-HeaveN-
July 23rd, 2008, 04:04 AM
Timeless Pain would be a better name. I suggest:
1. Agony

Great writing. You've gotta "poet sense"

mcrc
July 23rd, 2008, 04:35 AM
yea this is really cool i enjoyed reading it how about Absence of love for the title?