August 31st, 2008, 01:57 AM
Well hey, I have a different online affair now.
August 31st, 2008, 04:28 AM
Wow, this is definitely your best work so far, SilverSmeargleSplatter. At least, in my opinion it is. I agree with you that it looks sort of messed up at first glance but I think I saw the hidden meaning there, it wasn't too hard nor subtle to figure it out.
Just a tip, when you're moving onto the next sentence/line, put a comma or a period at the end of the current line. It makes the poem more organised and easier to read.
Your last line totally delivered what it should have, there's no denying that. And I have seen this, in another light. Very moving, very careful and very fragile, but amazing.
Well done, SilverSmeargleSplatter. Good poem.
August 31st, 2008, 07:16 AM
For a second, I thought it might've been a little too messy, but thank you, Rekhyt.
September 1st, 2008, 05:45 AM
Well, I don't have much of a comment...it's nice though, but right now, I have a headache and so...I cant really read through it all...but it's good.