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Glitter Stain
September 20th, 2008, 01:18 PM
Sadly, this poem is no longer available. =[

Majide
September 20th, 2008, 08:36 PM
I love your poetry, Mobile. You have a way with words and a way of letting us have a glimpse at the real you. Great job.

Guillermo
September 20th, 2008, 09:15 PM
You think up some pretty cool stuff haha, I liked this one. Good use of Grammar as well.

.:Kanto:.
September 21st, 2008, 02:40 AM
Pretty nice! You're good at this

Glitter Stain
September 21st, 2008, 04:43 AM
You think up some pretty cool stuff haha, I liked this one. Good use of Grammar as well.

I love your poetry, Mobile. You have a way with words and a way of letting us have a glimpse at the real you. Great job.

Squirtle;3958395']Pretty nice! You're good at this


A "thanks" goes out to all of you; thanks for commenting.

Klippy
September 21st, 2008, 08:13 AM
I was pretty impressed with this poem. I thought the rhythm was great, but the last line definitely made the poem excellent, in my opinion. It's always good to have poetry with humor and just general silliness in it. So bravo. You told a story and made in rhyme without seeming like you were trying too hard. :D

Glitter Stain
September 21st, 2008, 08:18 AM
I was pretty impressed with this poem. I thought the rhythm was great, but the last line definitely made the poem excellent, in my opinion. It's always good to have poetry with humor and just general silliness in it. So bravo. You told a story and made in rhyme without seeming like you were trying too hard.
Thanks for commenting. The rhythm, well, if no one's already noticed, this is a six-stanza ballad.

Jak
September 21st, 2008, 04:56 PM
I like this. It's good to read lighthearted things every once in a while. Lets me escape the dark things I write.

Nice job.

Glitter Stain
September 25th, 2008, 12:11 PM
I like this. It's good to read lighthearted things every once in a while. Lets me escape the dark things I write.

Nice job.
Thanks. I'm not a huge fan of writing depressing poems. XP

used to be Twiggy
September 28th, 2008, 06:48 AM
Really cool. It's much better than that but I can't think of a word to describe it.

.
September 30th, 2008, 06:30 PM
This has to be one of my favorite poems ever ^__^ It was comical, had excellent flow, and a great ending. Excellent poem Mobile.

Glitter Stain
September 30th, 2008, 06:59 PM
This has to be one of my favorite poems ever ^__^ It was comical, had excellent flow, and a great ending. Excellent poem Mobile.
Thanks, Vance, I'm glad to know you liked it.

Spearow
October 1st, 2008, 01:00 PM
Cute, especially the last line. But I think last line of the fourth stanza would sound better with "should" instead of "ought". :P Otherwise, it was pretty nice!

Glitter Stain
October 10th, 2008, 05:43 PM
he he,

This thread got a lot more replies than I expected. Thanks everyone. <3