PDA

View Full Version : Don't Hate Me


Ludger
January 1st, 2009, 8:41 PM
This one sucks.

Only good line:

But don't hate me, baby...
How I wish you understood...
I'm a monster,
I'm an angel.
I'm a killer,
I'm a saint.

h POKE
January 2nd, 2009, 3:07 PM
Nice one again. And with no literal death, although I could definitely sense a loathing of oneself (it was hidden like a Mac truck on the highway) in the words. Also, in the first two lines, I know the idea was to have stanzas without rhyme or reason, but to a person reading it (who no matter how much it would be helpful, can't go inside your mind at the point you wrote that), they're just redundant...

Ludger
January 2nd, 2009, 7:59 PM
but to a person reading it (who no matter how much it would be helpful, can't go inside your mind at the point you wrote that), they're just redundant...

I realised that a little while ago, and decided to see if someone had commented on this one and pointed it out, and well...yeah, it's been pointed out. Anyway, I know it seems redundant, but it's just something readers aren't going to get...well, some. Depends on who knows me really well. At first, I didn't plan on posting this, so it was originally just for my own eyes, but I obviously said, "Hey, I'm going to post this poem because it's really good" and here we are now.

And yes! No one died! But even still, there's a line that death counterparts with. I can't seem to escape dying, can I? Heh.