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RR☆Oresama
January 7th, 2009, 03:15 PM
Here's this 2nd poem of mine, and I suddenly feel the need to write it.

I feel wronged.
I feel dead.
I feel castrated.
I feel uneeded.

Oh, and yeah, I DO know what castrated is.
So what?

I feel really bad.

Why the hell are you doing this to me?

I swear--

"I can't be with you any more!"
I resent that.

"I'm leaving!"
I resent that.

Are we being stepped on?
The world will go mad if you two continents drift apart.

Just stop it.
Just stop.
it.
Just.
Stop.
It.

h POKE
January 7th, 2009, 03:53 PM
Umm... This... Isn't actually that good. It doesn't have meaning beyond face value and use castrated just to prove you can (talking about balls, or the lack of them, is not a funny subject). It doesn't flow very well between ideas, and it lacks a clear point of view. Are you and someone else the subjects? Or is it you, telling a story of two (dysfunctional) lovers from the third person?

Sora_8920
January 7th, 2009, 04:45 PM
Kinda confused. What does the poem mean? =S

Alli
January 7th, 2009, 06:56 PM
Kinda confused. What does the poem mean? =S

Um, no offence, but it just seems a little rude to just straight up ask. Read it over and over. It's...really not hard to understand this one.

Umm...I don't like the fact you're telling us that you know what "castrated" means. I mean, seriously. I understand what you might have been going for and all, but you wouldn't be using the word if you didn't know what it meant. It's not making a lot of sense to me. I'm getting that someone got hurt. That's all I'm getting, and that you resent those quotes. Sorry.