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Vincent.
March 2nd, 2009, 09:37 PM
I was in the land of darkness
Only yearning for happiness
I lost hope that I can get out of this
But when you came I realized all my dreams.

You gave light and happiness to my day
which before are so dark and gray
You saved my soul from endless drowning
And in my life you brought a brighter morning.

With your hands you picked me up from the ground
So now I beg you please don't bring me down.
You gave me a new and brighter life
So please don't go and don't let me die

Reminiscing
March 2nd, 2009, 09:39 PM
it's quite good I liked it C:
keep up that work of yours.

Revelation
March 2nd, 2009, 11:37 PM
I just like it keep it up!

Pledge
March 7th, 2009, 04:52 AM
ahh yes it is good and nice work good job^^

~ecto

Micro
March 7th, 2009, 04:58 AM
Good work Marche :3 Although I spot some things that bug me a bit.

You save my soul from endless drowning

It should be "You saved my soul from endless drowning"

You gave me a new and a brighter life

I suggest using the word better instead. Brighter doesn't seem to fit it.
And get rid of the "a"

Ranken
March 7th, 2009, 04:59 AM
nice work keep it up^^
and improve.

Vincent.
March 7th, 2009, 05:05 AM
Good work Marche :3 Although I spot some things that bug me a bit.



It should be "You saved my soul from endless drowning"



I suggest using the word better instead. Brighter doesn't seem to fit it.
And get rid of the "a"

okay then I didn't see that but I'll fixed it.thanks anyways.

Micro
March 7th, 2009, 05:08 AM
Your really good in poem writing :3 You should make more poems :>

Vincent.
March 7th, 2009, 09:40 PM
Your really good in poem writing :3 You should make more poems :>
well thanks yeah maybe I should make more poems if I had time.

Brownies
March 26th, 2009, 05:36 PM
That's a great poem Marche, I like your work!

BHwolfgang
March 26th, 2009, 05:40 PM
It's very nice. =) I like.

Yes, you should totally try makin' more poems. ^^ I'll be anticipating them.

Tear
March 26th, 2009, 10:08 PM
This is a really good poem you should make more..if you want to Marche!

Megaera
March 29th, 2009, 05:36 AM
Well it is a great poem Marche, I really like it.

Good Work on your work.

Moon-Rider
April 14th, 2009, 09:23 PM
I love that poem of yours :3

Needle
April 20th, 2009, 03:33 AM
Nice poem=3 you should make more of it like that=3
I like it !

Translator
April 23rd, 2009, 02:04 AM
This is a really good poem. Try making more poems. Keep it up.

Vie
April 29th, 2009, 04:20 AM
I was in the land of darkness
Only yearning for happiness
I lost hope that I can get out of this
But when you came I realized all my dreams.

You gave light and happiness to my day
which before are so dark and gray
You saved my soul from endless drowning
And in my life you brought a brighter morning.

With your hands you picked me up from the ground
So now I beg you please don't bring me down.
You gave me a new and brighter life
So please don't go and don't let me die

I love it, though I don't really like the rhyme scheme. I prefer a b b a.
It sounds like it comes from the heart. thats what makes it special and beautiful x3
great job, don't stop writing.