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ShadowLeader
April 2nd, 2009, 11:48 PM
Tell me what u guys think about this poem! I wrote it...so pls be honest!

Walking Through Shadows
Each day of my life
I feel like I'm walking through shadows.
The way the world is
Darkness is all that I can see
It festers in the air

Hate and corruption
Are fuel for these shadows
Death feels welcome

I fear the world is ending
And everything I know with it
Who will save us?
The future looks Grim.

idk about this one...really let me know if its any good!

Astinus
April 3rd, 2009, 12:07 AM
Poems go in the Poetry section. I'll move it over there for you.

ShadowLeader
April 3rd, 2009, 02:29 AM
Oh thanks!!!!! I really mean it!

Reminiscing
April 3rd, 2009, 03:22 AM
Oo...I like this one :3 Great poem you got there~ *no suggestion*

Ranken
April 3rd, 2009, 03:24 AM
What/who is Grim? the reaper?
anyways...great poem!

ShadowLeader
April 3rd, 2009, 03:47 AM
even i dont know that....i capitilized it for effect...it can mean death yes....just depends on how u interpret it!

Feathing
April 6th, 2009, 05:24 PM
I like it, I think it can be written even better, but the whole idea and the words you use are quite good. Congrats!

ShadowLeader
April 7th, 2009, 04:10 PM
thank u guys so much for the feedback and the reputation!!! i really appriciate it!

WriteThemWrong
April 8th, 2009, 03:37 PM
its ok imo.
Theres a hundred poems about the crap in the world, you have to make yours stand out. Instead of saying whats happening (like walking through the shadows) describe it to the reader, really develop and bring all the emotion out.

Revelation
April 16th, 2009, 08:16 PM
Well not bad but it's good, the words are quite nice.

very nice poem.