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Finglonger
September 19th, 2004, 08:16 PM
lol well heres another piece that will probably never get a response but eh whatcha gonna do? this is one Ive been sitting on for a while. I looked at it and realized how bad it actually was(not one of my best pieces lol) so I did a little editing, but I just can't seem to get it down. anyhow any help that anyone can offer would be greatly appreciated. = )

Icarian dreams

Oh to soar unbounded,
beyond the problems of this earth
on waxen wings...
to reach the heavens; to touch the sun;
survive to soar again,

in slumber, blankets sheathed
from distant midnight skies
set my lofty ambitions,
against laws of logic;

And the glare, the rusts
that held me fast, give way
to flights of fancy...

a proud indignation,
glory days,
waft away.

prosperity, wealth all but an illusion
fading as spirits do;
no reconciliation,
no requiem sung for the beloved.

Now boast of pridefulness;
sins of the hypocrisy do not condemn.
as you may fly to the sun,
and nary a wing will burn

rest
rest has come at last
and what was dreamt
now dreams.

Pikawolf
September 22nd, 2004, 01:55 PM
Wow!! That was beautiful! It really encased me in a web of enchantment. I adore it! 10/10

~Kelsey

Sumomo & Kotoko
September 22nd, 2004, 05:56 PM
Its one of the best I'ev seen on here,lol.....10/10

Emerald_Ursaring
September 22nd, 2004, 07:22 PM
*Jaw drops* That was, like, THE best poem I've ever seen! Great Job! 10/10!!

Finglonger
September 22nd, 2004, 08:14 PM
*blushes* wow thanks guys, but I still see that it needs a lot of work. This one is on my mind right now along with maybe another one that I'm in the middle of revising, so if I ever produce anything worthwhile in terms of improvements I'll post them here. = )

eevee_evolutions
September 23rd, 2004, 01:18 PM
I give it 10/10 as well!That is really deep and I LUV it!*claps for Finglonger*