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Pikawolf
September 22nd, 2004, 09:14 PM
She stood below the street light,
With no one but her thoughts.
And though she didn't show it,
A soul is what she sought.

She drifted in and out,
Never fearing her demise.
And though she longed for someone close,
She kept herself in disguise.

The people say she haunts this place,
Just looking for a friend.
Others say her broken heart,
Is one that she must mend.

They say her family now is gone,
And have withered to the bone.
And her journey still continues,
For she must stand alone.

I tried my best on this one. Please read & rate. I hope you enjoy this one. ^^

~Kelsey

Sumomo & Kotoko
September 22nd, 2004, 09:52 PM
Its good,no wait,its great!.....8/10

darkblastoise89
September 22nd, 2004, 10:14 PM
yes yes! this is it kelsey! the best so far! this one has good flow and everything and haz a good rhythm to it when you say it aloud 10/10 it deserves it!

Pikawolf
September 22nd, 2004, 10:43 PM
Thanks you two! I love it when I get positive ratings about my poems...it makes me really feel like I did a good job. ^^

~Kelsey

darkblastoise89
September 22nd, 2004, 10:45 PM
well you did, and you should...

Finglonger
September 23rd, 2004, 12:20 AM
Beautiful pika. No criticisms on this one lol, just a hearty congratulations on a well written poem.

"She stood below the street light,
With no one but her thoughts.
And though she didn't show it,
A soul is what she sought"

I especially liked this first stanza. It flowed masterfully and it gave me a feeling of majestic isolation(if there is such a thing).

eevee_evolutions
September 23rd, 2004, 05:24 PM
I really enjoyed this poem,pika.It's amazing.Oh I wish I could convince my poem loving friend to come to this site to see the amazing poems here!

Pikawolf
September 23rd, 2004, 06:31 PM
Thanks everyone. And I am truly surprised there were no critisizms, Finglonger! XD lol, j/k. I do like it when you tell me what to improve on. Weeeeeell, until next time! ^^
*goes off to write some more*

~Kelsey

Finglonger
September 24th, 2004, 01:52 AM
Thanks everyone. And I am truly surprised there were no critisizms, Finglonger! XD lol, j/k. I do like it when you tell me what to improve on. Weeeeeell, until next time! ^^
*goes off to write some more*

~Kelsey

wow well its nice to know that Im appreciated, er yeah didn't feel like doing a big criticism here. Usually when I go into those things its because I see some syntax or diction error then Im drawn in to point out other things. Didn't happen with this one, so yeah thats a good thing. = )