View Full Version : Shotgun!
July 18th, 2009, 3:21 PM
Confusing title will confuse you.
But my actual question in this thread.
Do you think that your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/lover or whatever you want to call it, automatically gets the right to be your best friend?
Meaning that, in the circumstance of how long you've met them. Let's say.. about a couple month or so, they get rights to being your best friend as compared to someone else who you have known for about a couple of years or so and they've earn the right to be your best friend.
Or even if so, would you ever consider your partner as a best friend at all.
As for myself, it would depend on how close I felt to my partner. If it was just one of those "hey let's date and find out sort of things" I don't think I could consider them to be my best friend automatically. If I felt I had a strong connection with them, then yeah, I would say they are my best friend. If I didn't think we were serious and I felt like I couldn't trust them, obviously, I wouldn't be able to consider them a best friend to me.
In reality, I would rather end up falling in love with someone who is already my best friend or a good friend, someone who already understands me and I can relate to with no problems; then someone I just met and was drawn to by infatuation, I know nothing about and have no past with them.
July 18th, 2009, 3:35 PM
No one gets "the rights" to be anything.
Normally, you are with your partner for a reason, so you trust them as you would a friend.
So I think it is like the same.
I have known the girl I am seeing for about 5 years now, so she is a good friend of mine. So it works out.
July 18th, 2009, 3:38 PM
Usually, I try to only date my best friends to begin with. Sure it could cause some awkward situations, but I've learned very recently that your best relationship could be one with your best friend.
So, I suppose my answer to this thread would be a "yes", but that's only because my partners are usually best friends already.
July 18th, 2009, 8:22 PM
There's nothing like rights in this issue.
In fact, I think the whole idea of calling a specific friend your best friend can be argued against.
Besides, the 'best friend' title doesn't depend on the amount of time you've been with one person, but rather how much you can connect and like the other person.
If you are truely strongly willing to stay with your partner in life, it normally means you like them, and that in turn means you consider them to be a great friend.
I think the 'best friend' title has to be earned, whether it be any random person, or your partner in life.
But anyways, in my opinion, it's no use having a partner life if you don't really like them, or can't connect them to the fullest.
July 18th, 2009, 11:10 PM
I think if your significant other is someone you love to talk to or spend time with, then yeah, they're probably one of your best friends. You're not gunna say, "Yeah, my girlfriend is just my acquaintance. Not a friend." But yeah. :>
July 19th, 2009, 4:38 AM
Well lets see. Your best friend is someone you can relate to, you have many things in common, can solve each others relationship issues and for me I treat that person as my brother or sister. So no I do not give rights or shotgun to anyone that I would date or have a physical relationship only the power to be my best friend. They could be my mutual friend or my partner or my other half but not best friend.
July 19th, 2009, 6:13 AM
No. If I have a beast friend, they will stay as my best friend.
I don't date people anyway, so this doesn't affect me. But when I do, it has to be someone I know anyway, so they might already be a best friend.
July 22nd, 2009, 6:18 PM
No. I think a partner and a best friend are two completely different things. But I've been one to believe that your best friend should take some time to get to know your potential partner and have a serious impact on your future decisions in advancing your relationship with said partner. But that's not to say that they can't not get along or anything. But the thought of my partner being my best friend is not something that crossed my mind. I usually think of my partner to be my partner and that alone.
July 22nd, 2009, 6:32 PM
Well, no. No one just automatically gets the right to be your best friend, they have to earn it. But they wouldn't be my boyfriend if they weren't one of my best friends.
July 22nd, 2009, 7:21 PM
In my perspective, I don't think so.
I'm not used to having best friends, since I only have a few IRL.
Still, it seems that you need to be close with your partner to begin with. I could consider myself inexperienced, but I've been keeping in mind to not have a partner later in life that I don't know well of.
I've also thought about how to consider people as your best friend, since people have different perspectives on who they consider as their best friend from acquaintances or even strangers. In terms of how long one has been together or known a person, a majority of people think that they should know the partner longer before even considering the person as a partner, and I am one of those people.
Simply put, my partner would probably be considered as a best friend way before even considering the person as a partner. And also, best friends are of a different level in comparison to partners.
July 22nd, 2009, 7:24 PM
No way, If someone is my partner/lover/spouse then they will always know that my relationship with them is far above that of a best friend. Likewise they will also know that My best friend will never take the place of them.
July 22nd, 2009, 7:52 PM
She's gotta prove herself trustworthy first.....but then again...I usually prefer to already be near best friends with her...that way a realationship isn't just starting from scratch..
July 22nd, 2009, 8:00 PM
No. I think of best friends and lovers in a totally different prospective. Sure, you trust and love your partner, but I've got best friends that know stuff I couldn't even dream of telling a partner. There's just some girl stuff that I doubt a large fraction of the men I know would like to hear about.
Erm... So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I consider a partner a best friend that I love and trust, but not exactly the other girl that I can spill my heart to.
July 22nd, 2009, 8:11 PM
Well my ideal lover would be someone that I could trust more then anyone in my life. So therefore yeah I would definitely want them to take the place of my best friend, but they would have to prove that I can trust them like a best friend first.
July 23rd, 2009, 2:23 PM
I have a circle of best friends, but yes, my significant other is the one I can share everything with - more than I can with my other friends.
July 28th, 2009, 8:58 AM
Nope, unless if that person that I'm going out with, was my best friend or knew me for a very long time
July 28th, 2009, 9:36 AM
Naturally so. Should you ever have a boyfriend or a girlfriend in your life, they should be considered your closest friend if you share a deeper connection with that person. Consider the fact that your own partner happens to be the one person that ought to be closer to you more than anybody else, even closer than your friends. That is the person that you might perhaps marry one day and spend the rest of your life with, it is difficult to pull through with that if you don't share a very strong bond of trust, love and especially friendship. You cannot spend a marriage or a life-long commitment with somebody if they haven't already proven to you that they are the person who mutually loves you, and the person you can love unconditionally.
They want to be there to support you and to give you their tender affection, out of how much they really love you. They're there to give you somebody to confide in and for them to find comfort with you. They're not around just during those lovey-dovey moments of playful silliness, that's only an added bonus. When you know you share a lot with that person, experienced a lot with them, show that the both of you can be caring and understanding for each other, then you know you're on the right track with your relationship.The best feeling is knowing that you have somebody who truly cares about you in every sense.