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Emily.
August 13th, 2009, 03:35 AM
I wrote this in March, this year. It's not amazing or anything, but I did try. Please don't chew the wussy noob up. o3o; My writing means a lot to me (and I know a couple of you have read this previously *coughpaircough* but yeah. No stealing this and claiming it as your own, kay? ..not that you'd want to, lulz.

Oh um, it's a cross between lyrics and poetry.. but aye. x] And excuse the typos.. please. XD; There are likely to be a lot, I don't read over my writing.
Your Heart
Pin me up against the door; say I'll never forget it, not until I am sore.
You try and hide the answers, but really, it is the deadliest thing since forever
You never attempt to care, making everyone else want to stare
Hide your face from this state. Bring it on now, baby
You'll never see my face in my lap, I'm too afraid you'll find the map.
The map to my secret place, the map where nothing is a race.

See me hide, see me cry, see me break, see me fly, see me soar through the sky
My heart is breaking without you. Being strong make it be.
Rock and roll honey, it’s the way for me. I’ve got you you’ve got me.
Sing a song let it be, let me see what’s really inside you - your heart

Take me away, hold me close; make me happy and never whether
It’s your dream your soul; I love you, and you know
It hurts too bad just to see you go
You’ll find me sad, you’ll find me bad, but I’m here for you. Forever.

See me hide, see me cry, see me break, see me fly, see me soar through the sky
My heart is breaking without you. Being strong make it be.
Rock and roll honey, it’s the way for me. I’ve got you you’ve got me.
Sing a song let it be, let me see what’s really inside you - your heart
My love.

Summer roles on in, we’re still here, still together, going strong away with a feather
Honey, baby, dance and sing, rock this world and make me win
Loving you is so right, your here so I’m gone
I need you to see. Just let it be. your my love my dream to hold on.

I’m not letting go
For you
Of you
Love you

See me hide, see me cry, see me break, see me fly, see me soar through the sky
My heart is breaking without you. Being strong make it be.
Rock and roll honey, it’s the way for me. I’ve got you you’ve got me.
Sing a song let it be, let me see what’s really inside you - your heart

Hold it on
Yeahh
Keepin’ strong

And break it.
I’m staying strong and that I promise, never failure
Always my

Hope.

The love you bring so, so sweet.
My treasure always. I love it
The songs, the music, the sound, the dance.
Rock and roll honey, it’s the way for me
Rock and roll baby, let’s go


(Rock it, roll it)
(rock it, hey!)


See me hide, see me cry, see me break, see me fly, see me soar through the sky
My heart is breaking without you. Being strong make it be.
Rock and roll honey, it’s the way for me. I’ve got you you’ve got me.
Sing a song let it be, let me see what’s really inside you - your heart

See me hide, see me cry, see me break, see me fly, see me soar through the sky
My heart is breaking without you. Being strong make it be.
Rock and roll honey, it’s the way for me. I’ve got you you’ve got me.
Sing a song let it be, let me see what’s really inside you - your heart

(Loving you always)
(Loving you always)


See me hide, see me cry, see me break, see me fly, see me soar through the sky
My heart is breaking without you. Being strong make it be.
Rock and roll honey, it’s the way for me. I’ve got you you’ve got me.
Sing a song let it be, let me see what’s really inside you - your heart

abnegation
August 13th, 2009, 04:02 AM
<3.
Well I had a read through but it's more of a song than anything like you had said to me, which is fine though because writing lyrics is much the same as writing poetry except that there tends to be different rhythm and more beat to lyrics depending on the genre. There are also some words that don't work as well in poetry as they would in songs and lyrics.
When I read this I loved the rhythm, it was really rather nice. I could imagine the most part being such with a nice guitar in the background. It followed great structure except maybe the odd repitition here and there which I know was intentional but it still seemed out of place. Not that it effects the piece in a great way or anything, it just drags it out a little bit is all. But I loved some of the rhyming. It had some great fluidity. If you were to write poetry however I would advise you to implement the same sort of fluid rhythm yet with more of a poetic structure. Like a sonet for example. A sonet has 14 lines and is one of the most effective and neat ways to write. Your most famous Sonnet writer would be Shakespeare. I'm going to give you a little guide on writing a sonnet. But there's no need to read if you don't want to get into writing structured poetry.


It must consist of 14 lines.



It must be written in iambic pentameter (duh-DUH-duh-DUH-duh-DUH-duh-DUH-duh-DUH).



It must be written in one of various standard rhyme schemes.

If you're writing the most familiar kind of sonnet, the Shakespearean, the rhyme scheme is this:
A
B
A
B
C
D
C
D
E
F
E
F
G
G
Every A rhymes with every A, every B rhymes with every B, and so forth. You'll notice this type of sonnet consists of three quatrains (that is, four consecutive lines of verse that make up a stanza or division of lines in a poem) and one couplet (two consecutive rhyming lines of verse).
Ah, but there's more to a sonnet than just the structure of it. A sonnet is also an argument — it builds up a certain way. And how it builds up is related to its metaphors and how it moves from one metaphor to the next. In a Shakespearean sonnet, the argument builds up like this:


First quatrain: An exposition of the main theme and main metaphor.



Second quatrain: Theme and metaphor extended or complicated; often, some imaginative example is given.



Third quatrain: Peripeteia (a twist or conflict), often introduced by a "but" (very often leading off the ninth line).



Couplet: Summarizes and leaves the reader with a new, concluding image.

One of Shakespeare's best-known sonnets, Sonnet 18, follows this pattern:
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimmed;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest,
Nor shall death brag thou wanderest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest.
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
The argument of Sonnet 18 goes like this:


First quatrain: Shakespeare establishes the theme of comparing "thou" (or "you") to a summer's day, and why to do so is a bad idea. The metaphor is made by comparing his beloved to summer itself.



Second quatrain: Shakespeare extends the theme, explaining why even the sun, supposed to be so great, gets obscured sometimes, and why everything that's beautiful decays from beauty sooner or later. He has shifted the metaphor: In the first quatrain, it was "summer" in general, and now he's comparing the sun and "every fair," every beautiful thing, to his beloved.



Third quatrain: Here the argument takes a big left turn with the familiar "But." Shakespeare says that the main reason he won't compare his beloved to summer is that summer dies — but she won't. He refers to the first two quatrains — her "eternal summer" won't fade, and she won't "lose possession" of the "fair" (the beauty) she possesses. So he keeps the metaphors going, but in a different direction. And for good measure, he throws in a negative version of all the sunshine in this poem — the "shade" of death, which, evidently, his beloved won't have to worry about.



Couplet: How is his beloved going to escape death? In Shakespeare's poetry, which will keep her alive as long as people breathe or see. This bold statement gives closure to the whole argument — it's a surprise.

And so far, Shakespeare's sonnet has done what he promised it would! See how tightly this sonnet is written, how complex yet well organized it is? Try writing a sonnet of your own.
Poets are attracted by the grace, concentration, and, yes, the sheer difficulty of sonnets. You may never write another sonnet in your life, but this exercise is more than just busywork. It does all the following:


Shows you how much you can pack into a short form.



Gives you practice with rhyme, meter, structure, metaphor, and argument.



Connects you with one of the oldest traditions in English poetry — one still vital today.


Okay that should be all you need to know to get started with a little background on Shakspeare.