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Fishyman
August 19th, 2009, 11:49 PM
I walked outside into the sun. It was finally my day to become a Pokemon master. I went to Proffesser Oak's to see if he was handing out this year's starters yet. I had looked over the choices, and had chosen Squirtle to begin my adventure. I walked to the lab to see a long line of trainers. Thank God he had stocked up on more than 1 each this year. The line quickly diminished and only I was left.

"ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL?" I was startled by the sudden appearence of the old man, screaming in my ear for some reason. Then it hit me. Was I a boy? Or a girl? I looked down at my self and realized I was completely invisible. I thought a boy would be suitable, seeing that was how I was picturing myself the entire day.

"WHAT IS YOUR NAME?" Why was he screaming? Wait... what is my name? I really couldn't decide on what my name actually was. He then, very loudly, mentioned the name Will. Good enough, I thought. Then I noticed a boy walk up to me. Oak asked me what his name was. I decided Carlton was a good name for some reason. Anyways, we had our first battle, which I won with ease.

Then, as I walked to Viridian, I noticed a basketball court, where some ruffians were terrorizing a young girl. I took them on in a fistfight, which I managed winning. I went home to tend to my aches and bruises. I told my mother about the incident and she said

"YOU'RE MOVING WITH YOUR AUNTY AND UNCLE IN BEL-AIR"

I WHISTLED FOR A CAB AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR THE CAR'S LICENSE SAID "FRESH" AND HAD FUZZY DICE IN THE MIRROR. IF ANYTHING I COULD SAY THAT THIS CAB WAS RARE BUT I THOUGH "NAW, FORGET IT. YO HOLMES, TO BEL-AIR!"

I PULLED UP TO THE DOOR AROUND 7 OR 8 AND CARLTON CAME UP AND SAID "SMELL YA LATER!"

I LOOKED AT MY KINGDOM, I WAS FINALLY THERE, TO SIT ON THE THRONE, AS THE PRINCE OF BEL-AIR.

And Carlton became the greatest trainer ever.

The End.

mervyn797
August 20th, 2009, 05:23 AM
hahaha! funny! "was i a boy or girl?" really good thinking. just like what he does in the games,.!

Iqid Loopz
August 20th, 2009, 11:58 AM
HAHA oce its said the lyrics to the frsh prince of bel air song was LOLed , This was funny it made my day

Redstar
August 21st, 2009, 08:25 AM
Wow. Chill out Ditto-Jelly.

The story obviously isn't intended to be taken seriously. It's a humor-piece, and should be responded with a laugh. Nothing more. And about you reviewing? Yeah. Not every story posted in here is meant to be reviewed. It's usually a given over here, but generally the person asks if they want to be reviewed. He didn't.

Honestly, your (over)reaction is so extreme the only option is you were parodying reviewers by reviewing. Please have that be it.

Negrek
August 21st, 2009, 09:12 AM
Not every story posted in here is meant to be reviewed. It's usually a given over here, but generally the person asks if they want to be reviewed. He didn't.
Uh. No, that's not how it works. It's assumed that, if you're posting your story in a public forum where others can see it and comment on it, that you're interested in getting feedback unless you explicitly state otherwise. Not everyone may really be looking for criticism or thought-out feedback, but why would they put it up in a place like this if they didn't want others to see it and let them know what they thought? It's actually fairly rare that someone out-and-out *asks* to be reviewed, unless they haven't been getting as many reviews as they'd like by just putting their story out there.

Ditto-Jelly does seem to be taking the fact that someone wrote a fanfiction he thinks is bad really, really seriously, though.

Giratina ♀
August 21st, 2009, 10:21 AM
Like some others have said, Jelly, this probably isn't intended to be Serious Bzns, Book Two: the Serious People. In fact, it looks more to me like a crackfic than anything else. Nobody is supposed to be taking this story seriously, and judging by the Fresh Prince reference-tsunami, excessive caps, and semi-lampshading of the traditional Pokemon opening the author probably didn't take it all too seriously either. It's obviously not as... mature, for lack of a better word, as most of the stories here, but what you were doing was sort of like reviewing a M-rated horror fic under an 'ages 3 and up' guideline.

So yeah. Bottom line: It's crackfic and probably shouldn't be taken seriously. I personally didn't find it funny, but that's just me.

Ace~Sasaki
August 21st, 2009, 12:25 PM
OKay this was uber epic. lol

Neutrino
August 21st, 2009, 12:34 PM
:S
I don't know what happened to me there...
but that's how I react to things. It's my mental nature. But, seriously, I didn't find it funny at all, and I am a very fun guy to be with... if you get to know me, that is. I find things dunny when they're funny, and this wasn't funny.

Redstar
August 21st, 2009, 03:27 PM
Uh. No, that's not how it works. It's assumed that, if you're posting your story in a public forum where others can see it and comment on it, that you're interested in getting feedback unless you explicitly state otherwise. Not everyone may really be looking for criticism or thought-out feedback, but why would they put it up in a place like this if they didn't want others to see it and let them know what they thought? It's actually fairly rare that someone out-and-out *asks* to be reviewed, unless they haven't been getting as many reviews as they'd like by just putting their story out there.
I used the wrong word, excuse me. Most people would love a review, yes, but criticism is another thing that is typically asked for, but most people on this forum give it anyways. It astounds me that someone can post a cute poem about a Cherrim, and get criticism, (although respectfully) without being asked.

Not everyone is looking for constructive criticism to get "better". Some people write stories for... *gasp* other people's enjoyment. This piece was obviously an attempt to make people laugh, which negates the need for severe criticism by its very genre.

If Fishyman stops by again, he'll be able to clear up anything. It was a fun read.

Fishyman
August 21st, 2009, 09:02 PM
I go away for one day, and things go completely batshit insane. o.o

But, it's all in good fun. I know some people will take it seriously, and I thank Jelly for being mature and apologizing. It actually wasn't to long ago that I did the exact same thing, really.

And for everyone else, thanks for enjoying it, I was actually expecting quite a bit of hate to be directed towards this.

Greenmaybeaguy
August 21st, 2009, 11:04 PM
There's subtlety and whimsy in this, the epic tale of Carlton. Though we are in the perspective of Will the entire story, we can FEEL for Carlton as he loses his first match, yet also not lose hope. Will is also a deep character, lusting for power until his own fighting ways get him sent away.

I cried a tear when Carlton became the greatest trainer ever.

More like The Greatest Fanfic, amirite?

The Pretender
September 30th, 2009, 01:59 PM
He got banned?

I was hoping to see a sequel.