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View Full Version : Sibling Rivalry, Race to the Pokemon League.


md-Martin
August 23rd, 2009, 01:57 PM
"Shut the hell up or I'll punch you in the face!"

"I'm not scared of you, were gonna be 14, And leave home, I don't care if your stronger, I'll be a great trainer, I'm gonna win this years Pokemon League, You'll see"

"Like hell you will, I'm gonna, When Dad gives us our Pokemon, I'm gonna beat you in our first battle as trainers, then I'm gonna get 8 gym badges and be the champion when the thing comes"!

"It's called a league conference retard, and I'll win"

knocked to the ground by his twin brother, Martin held his face in pain after being punched. Logan and Martin were Fraternal twin brothers living in Jubilife city. They were two different people, and if they weren't brothers, just people hanging out, it would be like the queen of England and a criminal.

Logan was born 20 minutes earlier, and always though of himself as the older, supierior one. He was more popular in Trainer school, physically stronger. However, he was terrible in school, very stupid. Logan looked a little like Martin, the two could look like brothers, but not twins. He was short, but taller then Martin, at 5 foot 4. He had short brown hair. He usually wore collared shirts, based off of brands, and other stupid stuff.

Martin, however was great in school, and has three best friends. Martin is skinny, and short, with short brown hair like Logan. He was pretty weak, physically, and slow. Martin wore simple things, regular T-shirts, and jeans. He was short for his age, at 5 foot exactly. He and Logan had quite a history. The two always fought, Logan controlling the relationship.

"Martin, I know your looking forward to traveling, and being a trainer, but it will help you realize, that you and your brother do love each other. You two will most likely cross paths many times, and it will be nice. You won't be with any of your family, It'll be nice to see something to remind you of Home. Me and your Aunt Michele always fought as children, but now with her living in the Hoenn region, we never see each other except on holidays" Martins father said to him. He was once a great trainer himself, he traveled in the Kanto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh Regions, settling down in Jubilife town.

"OK Dad, thanks. So, You gonna give us a hint of which Pokemon we get for our birthday tomorrow"? Martin curiously asked. He was so exited to get his own Pokemon. Dad had his Pokemon still and let the boys play with them, but they wanted there own.

"Nope, Now go to bed, faster you go to sleep, the faster you'll get yours" Dad told Martin. Logan was already out on the couch. "Goodnight"

"goodnight"
~~~~~~~~~~~

It was 11:00 AM when Martin woke up. It was bittersweet, as now traveling he couldn't sleep this late. He yawned and rolled out of his bunk bed, no surprise, he had the lower bunk. He looked around his room, taking it all in that he was 14 today, and he wouldn't see all of his stuff for a long, long time. He got dressed in a black T-Shirt and jeans. He wore a black hoodie, that was unzipped. He walked to the bathroom and went, and brushed his teeth. He took his tooth brush and put it in his backpack, in a zip-lock bag with tooth paste. He put it in a small section of the bag and left it on his bed. He had already packed the majority of items he would bring. He had a bag of chips, and some canned food, with plenty of water in his bag. He had one change of cloths, as Pokemon Centers now double as a laundromat for trainers.

Martin had a Pokeball section in his bag, for empty Pokeballs. He put some potions, in another section, and had two antidotes, but nothing else. They had finally added a new feature to Pokeballs, on the opposite side of the ball were the button was, in the far back on the black line that separates the two half's of it, it now says in small white print the Pokemon name of the pokemon in the ball, apparently a lot of people were having trouble figuring out which one was in which. Martin took his Poketch and put it on, he got it 365 days from today, on his 13th birthday from his friend Drake.

Martin went into the living room to find Logan, their little brother Chris, and Mom and Dad. "Happy Birthday"! All of them minus Logan said.

"About time you woke up. Dad, can I have my Pokemon now"? Logan impatiently asked. Martin felt sorry for all the Pokemon Logan would catch, if he would even be able to do that.

"Yea, now that your brothers up, I want you to take this pokemon Logan" Dad said handing Logan a Pokeball.

"And for you Martin" Dad handed Martin his. Their was tape over the name of the pokemon. Dad noticed Martin looking at the name.

"On three, Press the button and release them" Dad exclaimed happily, proud that his two sons were about to take the same path he did.

The two pressed the buttons, and pink energy came out of the balls, and formed the shape of Pokemon. They were the same Pokemon.

"It's an Eevee"! Martinsaid happily hugging his first Pokemon, and picking it up. The Eevee cried out in happiness and licked Martins face.

"Awesome" Logan said. He picked his up and it jumped out of his arms, and sat on his head and cried out. Everyone in the room, even Logan laughed.

"Thanks dad!" The two said and hugged their dad. He smiled, knowing he made the right choice, picking these two Pokemon for the boys.

"My Umbreon and Leafeon had these two eggs a month ago, I didn't tell you because I wanted to give you them" Dad explained. "Now, I know it's still early, but I think it's time you two headed off"

"they don't have to leave yet, they can stay longer" the boys Mom said, as she started to cry. "No, It's time" Dad said.

The two boys said their goodbye's and left their house. Martin had named his Eevee Hunter, because it didn't look so menacing, and Martin liked misleading names like that. Logan had named his Shadow, and wants to evolve it into an Umbreon like Dads.

"Hey Martin" Logan yelled. The two were in front of the Poketch company building, one was going to go north, and one was going to go East.

"What" Martin answered, confused, because Logan would never say goodbye.

"I challenge you" Logan threw his Pokeball up in the air. A ball of Energy came out, throwing the Pokeball in the direction it came from, back to Logans hand. "Go Shadow"

Hunter was sitting in Martins hood of his hoodie until Martin took him out and put him down. "I Choose you, Hunter"!

The two boys stared each other down from opposite ends of the street they were on. Logan finally broke the tension with the first move.

"Shadow! Use Tackle"! Logan said. Shadow ran up to hunter and pounced up, hitting Hunter with his body. Hunter rolled over with a bit of pain, but stood up and uttered a battle cry.

"Eevee's know Tackle, Tail whip, and Helping Hand from the start so...

Hunter, Tail Whip"!

Hunter wagged it's tail, and it's eyes glowed for a split second.

'Dumbass it did nothing" Logan said. "Tackle"

Shadow once again charged at Hunter and hit him. Hunter Got up quickly, though.

"Hunter tackle!" Martin ordered the evolution Pokemon. Hunter hit Shadow with full force, inflicting more damage then Shadow's tackle.

"Idiot, You can't just use Physical moves, I lowered Shadow's defensive Energy with Tail Whip" Martin gloated at Logan. Logan's face turned red with shame, he couldn't loose to Him when he boasted so much about being better then him.

"Shadow Tackle with your hardest!" Logan Screamed to the Eevee, and Shadow went full force.

"Hunter, Finish this with Tackle!" Martin said. his unzipped hoodie blew back like a cape with the wind.

The two brother Pokemon ran toward each other with full force, and hit each other. Both knocked unconscious. The two ran over to their Pokemon and picked them up.

"so, It's a draw" Martin said angered with his brother.

"But next time, you and Your dumb Pokemon are done" Logan said as he walked northern. He never looked back. He put Shadow back in it's ball and put it in his pocket and left.

Martin put Hunter back in his hood and walked East. He was heading to the first Gym. He wanted to hurry before Logan realized he went the wrong way. Martin would reach Oreburgh City first.

Haz
August 24th, 2009, 03:03 AM
Corrections are in bold red.
"Shut the hell up or I'll punch you in the face!"

"I'm not scared of you, we're gonna be 14, And leave home, I don't care if your stronger. I'll be a great trainer, I'm gonna win this years Pokemon League, You'll see."

"Like hell you will. I'm gonna, When Dad gives us our Pokemon, I'm gonna beat you in our first battle as trainers, then I'm gonna get 8 gym badges and be the champion when the thing comes!"

"It's called a league conference retard, and I'll win."

After being knocked to the ground by his twin brother, Martin held his face in pain after being punched. Logan and Martin were Fraternal twin brothers living in Jubilife city. They were two different people, and if they weren't brothers, just people hanging out, it would be like the queen of England and a criminal.

Logan was born 20 minutes earlier, and always though of himself as the older, superior one. He was more popular in Trainer school, physically stronger. However, he was terrible in school, and very stupid. Logan looked a little like Martin, the two could look like brothers, but not twins. He was short, but taller then Martin, at 5 foot 4. He had short brown hair. He usually wore collared shirts, based off brands, and other stupid stuff.

Martin, however was great in school, and has three best friends. Martin is skinny, and short, with short brown hair like Logan. He was pretty weak, physically, and slow. Martin wore simple things, regular T-shirts, and jeans. He was short for his age, at 5 foot exactly. He and Logan had quite a history. The two always fought, Logan controlling the relationship.

Back at home...
"Martin, I know your looking forward to traveling, and being a trainer, but it will help you realize, that you and your brother do love each other. You two will most likely cross paths many times, and it will be nice. You won't be with any of your family, It'll be nice to see something to remind you of Home. Me and your Aunt Michele always fought as children, but now with her living in the Hoenn region, we never see each other except on holidays." Martins father said to him. He was once a great trainer himself, he traveled in all of the regions, before settling down in Jubilife town.

"OK Dad, thanks. So, You gonna give us a hint of which Pokemon we get for our birthday tomorrow"? Martin curiously asked. He was so exited to get his own Pokemon. Dad had his Pokemon still and let the boys play with them, but they wanted there own.

"Nope, now go to bed. The faster you go to sleep, the faster you'll get your Pokemon." Dad told Martin. Logan was already out on the couch. "Goodnight son."

"Goodnight Dad."
~~~~~~~~~~~

It was 11:00 AM when Martin woke up. It was bittersweet, as now traveling he couldn't sleep this late. He yawned and rolled out of his bunk bed, and big surprise, he had the lower bunk. He looked around his room, taking it all in that he was 14 today, and he wouldn't see all of his stuff for a long, long time. He got dressed in a black T-Shirt and jeans. He wore a black hoodie, that was unzipped. He walked to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He took his tooth brush and put it in his backpack, in a zip-lock bag with tooth paste. He put it in a small section of the bag and left it on his bed. He had already packed the majority of items he would bring. He had a bag of chips, and some canned food, with plenty of water in his bag. He had one change of cloths, as Pokemon Centers now double as a laundromat for trainers.

Martin had a Pokeball section in his bag, for empty Pokeballs. He put some potions in another section and had two antidotes, but nothing else. They had finally added a new feature to Pokeballs, on the opposite side of the ball were the button was, in the far back on the black line that separates the two half's of it, it now says in small white print the Pokemon name of the pokemon in the ball, apparently a lot of people were having trouble figuring out which one was in which. Martin took his Poketch and put it on, he got it for his 13th birthday from his friend Drake.

Martin went into the living room to find Logan, their little brother Chris, Mom and Dad. "Happy Birthday!" All of them minus Logan said.

"About time you woke up. Dad, can I have my Pokemon now"? Logan impatiently asked. Martin felt sorry for all the Pokemon Logan would catch, if he would even be able to do that.

"Yea, now that your brothers up, I want you to take this pokemon Logan." Dad said handing him a Pokeball.

"And for you Martin." Dad handed Martin his. There was tape covering the name of the pokemon. Dad noticed Martin looking at the name.

"On three, press the button and release them" Dad exclaimed happily, proud that his two sons were about to take the same path he did.

The two pressed the buttons, and pink energy came out of the balls, and formed the shape of Pokemon. They were the same Pokemon.

"It's an Eevee!" Martin said happily hugging his first Pokemon, and picking it up. The Eevee cried out in happily and licked Martins face.

"Awesome!" Logan cried. He picked his up and it jumped out of his arms, and sat on his head and cried out. Everyone in the room, even Logan laughed.

"Thanks Dad!" The two said and hugged their dad. He smiled, knowing he made the right choice, picking these two Pokemon for the boys.

"My Umbreon and Leafeon had these two eggs a month ago. I didn't tell you because I wanted to give you them." Dad explained. "Now, I know it's still early, but I think it's time you two headed off."

"They don't have to leave yet, they can stay longer" the boys Mom said, as she started to cry. "No, it's time" Dad said, patting his wifes knee to comfort her.

The two boys said their goodbyes and left their house. Martin had named his Eevee Hunter, because it didn't look so menacing, and Martin liked misleading names like that. Logan had named his Shadow, and wants to evolve it into an Umbreon like their Dads.

"Hey Martin!" Logan yelled. The two were in front of the Poketch company building, one was going to go north, and one was going to go East.

"What?" Martin answered, confused, because Logan would never say goodbye.

"I challenge you to a battle!" Logan threw his Pokeball up in the air. A ball of energy came out, throwing the Pokeball in the direction it came from, back to Logans hand. "Go Shadow!"

Hunter was sitting in Martins hood of his hoodie until Martin took him out and put him down. "I choose you, Hunter"!

The two boys stared each other down from opposite ends of the street they were on. Logan finally broke the tension with the first move.

"Shadow! Use Tackle"! Logan said. Shadow ran up to hunter and pounced up, hitting Hunter with his body. Hunter rolled over with a bit of pain, but stood up and uttered a battle cry.

"Eevee's know Tackle, Tail whip and Helping Hand from the start so..." he made up his mind.

"Okay Hunter, Tail Whip"!

Hunter wagged it's tail, and it's eyes glowed for a split second.

'Dumbass, it did nothing" Logan taunted, a smirk apon his face. "Tackle!"

Shadow once again charged at Hunter and hit him. Hunter got up quickly, though.

"Hunter, Tackle again!" Martin ordered the evolution Pokemon. Hunter hit Shadow with full force, inflicting more damage then Shadow's tackle.

"Logan you idiot, you can't just use physical moves. I lowered Shadow's defensive Energy with Tail Whip" Martin gloated at Logan. Logan's face turned red with shame, he couldn't loose to Him when he boasted so much about being better then him.

"Shadow, Tackle with your hardest!" Logan screamed to the Eevee, and Shadow went full force.

"Hunter, finishthis with Tackle!" Martin said, his unzipped hoodie blew back like a cape with the wind.

The two Pokemon ran toward each other with full force, and hit each other. However, both were knocked unconscious. The two ran over to their Pokemon and picked them up.

"So, it's a draw" Martin said, rather angey at his brother.

"But next time, you and your dumb Pokemon are done!" Logan snarled as he walked north. He never looked back. He put Shadow back in it's ball and put it in his pocket and left.

Martin put Hunter back in his hood and walked East. He was heading to the first Gym. He wanted to hurry before Logan realized he went the wrong way. Martin would reach Oreburgh City first.

It's good, but has a LOT of grammer mistakes. It also got too much dialogue and doen't describe enough. But its a good length.