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View Full Version : Pokemon Wishing Star (Mostly PG)


Danielle The Great
August 29th, 2009, 07:01 AM
My first attempted-to-complete-fanfic :'D

I named it Liza's Adventure at first, then I changed the title to Pokemon Wishing Star, the title of a hack I might make.

So. Sorry the story is a bit confusing, but I'd appreciate compliments and critiques if you can. :'D

LONG POST AHEAD

Chapter 1:
It was a rainy day. Really, really rainy. Liza was sitting in her room, all alone. Liza was a blonde girl who enjoyed brown clothing and enjoyed sitting by herself in her own room. But today was different. “Bag packed...” She thought to herself.
Tomorrow...
She was starting her Pokemon journey.
“I guess it’s time to leave home,” She sighed. She got her bag and put it on her shoulders. She walked downstairs. Her mom wasn’t there.
She nodded to herself. “Right,” She smiled.
She walked out of her house.

Her Poketch- or Pokemon Watch for short- was just turned on. She looked at the time. It was exactly time for her to leave.
10:23. Yes, she planned that exact time. She was very picky with the time.
She was walking out of her hometown; Starlight City. “So Downleaf town... My mom said to start out there...”
Suddenly, she heard screams down route 301; on the way to Downleaf town. She knew it was very important to help others, so she ran to where she heard the screams.
There was a boy about Liza’s age. Being chased by some odd people. “Help! Help!” He noticed Liza. “You! Over there! Help me! There’s a Pokeball in that bag! Grab one and defeat these people!”
“Okay...” Liza didn’t know what to do. She never had a Pokemon before. She only saw her mother’s. And now she was forced to battle people with them.
Liza walked over to the bag. She looked at 3 circular shapes, one green, one red and one blue. She wondered which one she was gonna pick.
“Hurry! The green Pokeball has a Flespeed. It’s a grass-flying type. The blue one has a Platforil. It’s a water-grass type. The red one has a Fireth. It’s a fire-ground type! Hurry and save me already!” He panicked quickly.
Liza did not catch whatever he said. She did not know anything about type matches. She went by how much she liked the names. She liked Flespeed the best, so she chose the green Pokeball. She looked at it. “How does this thing work?” She asked him.
“Press the gray button in the middle! It will call out the Pokemon!” The boy shouted.
“Okay...” Liza was extremely nervous. “Alright. I’ll give it a try. Go, Flespeed!” She called out the Pokemon. Vine-like strings were coming out of its head. There was a flower band around its neck. The boy said Flespeed was a flying type, and she noticed the small wings on it. It had a stubby tail, and she knew it was not very strong.
The men chasing the boy turned to Liza and giggled. “Go, Eevee!” Eevee seemed very confident, while Liza was not confident herself.
“Give it a command!” The boy said.
“Alright... Flespeed! Attack!”
Silence.
“You have to give it an actual attack! Try Tackle!” Tackle was a move that had the Pokemon ram into the foe. It was not a very powerful attack, but good for starters.
“O-Okay! F-Flespeed, use Tackle!” Liza commanded nervously. Flespeed was very fast while ramming into the foe. It was also very powerful. Eevee got sent back.
“Eevee, use Growl!” The Eevee let out a cute cry. Liza cooed.
“Girl! That might be a cute move, but it lowers your Pokemon’s attack moves! Try Vine Whip! That’s a special attack move!” The boy yelped. He started to notice Liza was a new trainer.
“Alright! Flespeed, use Vine Whip!” She commanded. The vines on Flespeed’s head shot out and hit Eevee. Eevee fainted. Liza felt kind of bad for it.
“Great job!” The boy applauded.
The men retreated, as the one with the Eevee called it back. Liza thought to herself, ‘Is this what it’s like to be a trainer?’
“Let’s go back to my dad’s lab.” The boy said. “My name is Andrew by the way. You are?”
“Liza.”
“Okay, I’ll remember that... thank you.” He smiled. The boy got his bag and they headed back to his father’s lab. In Downleaf town.

Chapter 2:
Andrew and Liza arrived at the lab at Downleaf Town. They went inside. “This is my dad’s lab,” Andrew explained.
“Ah, hello. My name is Professor Maple.” A male professor said to Liza. “I heard you saved my son on the first time you used a Pokemon. Great job!” He smiled.
“Thank you... it was nothing...” She blushed. “Pokemon are cute... just hard to take care of.”
“You’ll get used to them.” Andrew said. “Anyways, the way you battled was suburb! I’d like you to take these.”
Andrew handed her five Pokeballs and a red, advanced device.
“What’s this?” Liza asked about the device.
“That’s a Pokedex. You record Pokemon data with it.” Professor Maple informed. “When you encounter a Pokemon, take it out and press the “record” button.”
“Oh, cool!” Liza exclaimed.
“I go everywhere with my Pokedex to work on it. But I don’t have a Pokemon yet... Dad! Can I pick a Pokemon?” Andrew asked. “It would be a lot easier for me, since I was attacked by two men. They wanted my papers.” Andrew, after a pause, suddenly slapped the palm of his hand on his forehead. “That’s right! Liza, I forgot to mention, those men called themselves Team Galactic. They wanted my papers and the bag to steal Pokemon. I don’t know what they want with them, sorry...” He sighed.
“It’s fine,” Liza smiled. “What Pokemon are you going to pick?” She asked.
“I think I’ll go with Fireth. I tend to like a mixed team.” Andrew said. “I hope we can battle sometime!”
“When I get better.” Liza laughed slightly.
“Well, take care. Have fun on your adventure.” Andrew smiled.

“Hm... So the first gym is in Downleaf City?” Liza wondered. “I guess so. That’s what the map said...”
Liza heard commotion.
“Huh? What’s that?” She ran over to where she heard the commotion. There was a huge crowd, and she had to stand at the back. “Excuse me...” She tapped someone on the shoulder. He turned around. The man had gray hair, a red tie, and a dark gray outfit. “What’s all this commotion?” Liza asked him, blushing.
“Oh, that’s the opening of the new gym. The old gym had to shut down due to some... problems.” The man said.
“I see gyms are much more important than I thought.” Liza said. “So, what’s the new gym like?”
“Oh, it looks amazing.” The man said. “I heard the new gym leader’s name is Crystal, and she uses Ice types.”
Liza’s face paled. She knew Ice types were good against grass types. And good against flying types. And her only Pokemon was a Flying/Grass type.
“Oh,” Liza sighed. “Thanks for telling me. Guess I’ll have to train and catch some more Pokemon.” She laughed.
“Yep, that’s a trainer’s goal.”
“By the way, I never got your name. I’m Liza. You are?”
“I’m Steven Stone. The Champion of Dassho.”
Liza’s eyes widened. “Oh, cool!” She gasped.
“Yeah, I became a champion yesterday.” He laughed.
Liza’s legs shook. She was so nervous. “Well, it was nice meeting you, Steven! Bye!” She smiled nervously, walking off. If she wanted to be a trainer and challenge a gym, she would have to catch more Pokemon.

Chapter 3:
“Hey, look! A wild Baboom!” Liza gasped. She was on Route 302, and a wild Baboom appeared. A Baboom was a baboon like creature which always made flickering sounds. It was a Normal Type. “Go, Flespeed!” Liza called out. She knew she would have to weaken the Pokemon before chucking a Pokeball at it, her mom told her that.
‘Where is my mom, anyways?’ Liza thought. “Anyways... Flespeed! Use Vine Whip!” Liza commanded.
Baboom was fast. It dodged quickly. Baboom growled defensively. It opened it’s jaw, showing it’s giant front teeth. It gave a big glare from its eyes. Flespeed flinched.
“I know that move. It’s Leer.” Liza said. “Flespeed! Try to ignore it!” She cried. “Use Vine Whip to grab it!”
Baboom was stunned. It never knew Flespeed could use Vine Whip like that. Flespeed jumped towards Baboom and tried grabbing it with the vines on its head. Baboom dodged, and the process repeated multiple times. Finally, Baboom got tired and stopped moving. Flespeed was still strong, and not damaged. It quickly grabbed Baboom with its vines and threw him up. Flespeed grabbed him again and banged him to the ground. Baboom was weak.
“Alright!” Liza grinned, knowing this was her chance. “Go, Pokeball!” Liza shot a Pokeball at Baboom.
Roll. Roll. Roll.
Ding.
“Yeah! Yeah! I caught my first Pokemon!” Liza jumped for joy. She ran back to the Pokemon Center at Downleaf City.

“Congrats on catching your first Pokemon, Liza!” Liza was talking to her mom on a telephone after healing her Pokemon. Her mom asked the usual ‘How are you doing?’, ‘How was it?’ ‘What did you catch?’.
Liza answered all of her mother’s questions.
“That’s great! Well, I gotta go. Gotta do some Pokemon League stuff.” Her mom ended the call.
‘Pokemon League... stuff...’ Liza blinked. “Well, gotta go.” She left the building.
“Hmph. How pathetic.” A purpled haired boy (a little older than Liza’s age) huffed. He was wearing a green-brown outfit.
Liza was confused. “Pathetic? What’s pathetic?”
“You.” He smirked.
Liza was still confused. “Me? What do you mean?”
“The Pokemon you caught. Why don’t you go catch a stronger one? And release the one you just caught? You know what I’m talking about. The Baboom you caught. “
Liza glared. “Why would I release my first caught Pokemon?”
“It’s useless training them. Just catch a new Baboom. With better everything.”
Liza was getting annoying slowly. “Training it is the fun part though.”
“Training is useless. Why train when you can already have a strong Pokemon?” The boy grinned.
Liza was completely pissed now. “YOU’D BETTER-” She started to scream, then she realized she had to keep her cool to make new friends. “...I’m Liza. We never introduced ourselves.”
“Hmph. I’m Paul. Do you care?”
Suddenly, Liza heard screaming from the telephone.
“Liza, it’s for you.” Nurse Joy called. “It’s your friend, Andrew.”
“Andrew?” She turned to Paul. “I’ll be right back, have to take something.” She smiled.

Andrew seemed worried. Very worried. “Liza! Liza! There’s no time for introductions! You have-”
“Calm down, Andrew. What’s the fuss?” Liza reassured.
“A purpled haired boy... Stole... Stole... my Fireth! Before I even got it!” Andrew gasped.
“Huh? A purple... haired boy...?”
“Yes! His name started with a ‘P’, I think!”
Liza turned to Paul, shocked. Paul laughed a little under his smirk. “Was his name... Paul...?” Liza’s eyes were wide opened to Andrew.
“Yes! Yes! That’s him!” Andrew yelped. “How did you know...?!”
“He’s... right... next to me...” Liza yelped silently.
“Hmph.” Paul huffed, eavesdropping on the conversation.
“What?!” Andrew yelped. Professor Maple tapped him on the shoulder to go. “Come on, hun, it’s time to go.” He said, although Andrew was gasping, his face bright red. The phone call ended. Liza turned to Paul.
“Did you really...?”
“Yes. I did. And it’s a really weak Pokemon too.”

Chapter 4:
“What?!” Liza gasped at Paul’s comment about the newly received Fireth. Her face turned red.
“You heard,” Paul said coldly.
“Don’t you have anything nicer to say?!”
“Well, yeah. I just don’t feel like saying it.” Paul sighed. He left without saying ‘goodbye’. Liza growled. She thought all trainers were nice to their Pokemon. But what could a new trainer do?
“Well, it’s time for me to go too.” She sighed sadly, leaving the Pokemon Center.

After training her newly caught Baboom, Liza decided to continue her journey. She arrived at a statue, near the cave leading to another town. It was of a strange Pokemon. It looked graceful, and had a big ring around its center. Liza stared for about a minute or two.
“Hmph... Children at the statue?” A man’s voice said. Liza turned around. The man was dressed in an odd uniform. He had light blue spiky hair. “What are you doing here?” He asked coldly.
Liza didn’t like the tone of his voice. She turned away. Then, she realized she couldn’t ignore anyone who was asking something to her. “Um... I... I’d rather not say.” Liza shrugged, without turning back.
“Listen, move. I’ve research to do.” The man said.
Liza was curious. She wanted to know what research he wanted to do. She also knew it would be rude to ask about someone’s information. “Um... okay.” She headed back to Downleaf City.

“Well, I think I’ve trained enough to challenge a gym.” She smiled to herself. She walked towards the gym. She stared at it. “Wow, huge building.”
She went inside. It was really bright. It was filled with many flowers and grass.
Suddenly, the grass and flowers moved. Liza didn’t feel a breeze either. A tree appeared out of the ground. And it was not a cardboard tree. This was a real tree. Liza was astounded. She didn’t feel a breeze for the grass and plants to move. And it was really bright.
Liza was confused. “I do not think this is a grass type gym.” She gasped.
“Correct.” A girl’s voice said. A door appeared on the tree. “Greetings. I’m the Trick Master.”
A girl appeared. She had long hair, and two bangs that appeared as if they were coming out of her head. The bangs here half red and half the color of her normal hair color. They looked natural, although very red. She actually wore a trainer’s outfit and a top hat. Liza didn’t think she looked like a gym leader, just a normal trainer with a top hat. A really tall top hat. Was something in it? Liza didin’t know. But whatever, a gym leader can wear whatever he or she wants.
“I take it you challenge me? Tsk tsk. You can’t beat me though. I have many tricks up my sleeve.” The Trick Master smiled. “Alright! You can try to beat me!”
She took out a Pokeball. She threw it. A yellow Pokemon that had a... mustache appeared out of the red light. It had a spoon in its hand.
“Kadabra,” The Trick Master grinned.
“Alright! Go, Flespeed!” Liza called out the vine Pokemon.
“Flespeed, eh? Well, Kadabra, use Confusion!” Flespeed was held in place! “Send it back flying!” The Trick Master ordered.
Kadabra moved its spoon foward. Flespeed was sent to the wall! It started gliding towards the ground, standing back in position.
“Flespeed! Are you alright?” Liza gasped. Flespeed turned back and nodded. “Alright! Use Vine Whip! Grab it!”
Flespeed’s vines extended and grabbed Kadabra by its hands.
“Kadabra! Use-” The Trick Master gasped.
“No chance I’m letting you! Flespeed, do it!” Liza grinned. Flespeed threw Kadabra up and grabbed him when he was close to the ground and slammed him against the ground. Flespeed then, after repeating the process a few times, when Kadabra was up in the air, Flespeed flew up and grabbed Kadabra and shoved him down. Kadabra fainted.
“Alright, Flespeed!” Liza grinned.
The Trick Master recalled Kadabra. “You were great.” She smiled. “Go, Kirlia!” A Pokemon with a green top (which looked like long hair) and had a red half-oval in the middle of its white dress appearedout of the red energy.
“Use Hypnosis!” Kirlia’s eyes turned a bright red colored and gleamed at Flespeed. Flespeed closed its eyes and fell to the ground. It was asleep.
“Flespeed!” Liza gasped. “Return! You were great.” She smiled. “Go, Baboom! Use Uproar!” Liza was getting more confident with Pokemon.
Kirlia was annoying by the loud noise. “Kirlia! Ignore it!” The Trick Master gasped. Kirlia, however, could not stand the noise and fainted. “Thank you, Kirlia.” The Trick Master recalled Kirlia. She tilted her head up to Liza. “Thank you for the great battle. You were great.”
“Thank you!” Liza smiled.
The Trick Master looked a little scared.
“What’s wrong?” Liza asked.
“It’s just that... people are going after me. They want something from me. I can’t say what yet. I’d rather not.”
“I see...” Liza stared. She then smiled. “Would you like to come with me? I’ll protect you.”
“You’d really do that?” The Trick Master’s eyes glittered. “Thank you! I’ll gladly come with a strong trainer like you!”

Chapter 5:
“So what’s the next town?” Liza asked. “I know you’re a gym leader, so I guess you know you’re way around.”
“Uh...” The Trick Master blushed. “Well, I just became a gym leader, so I might be wrong... But I think we head to a submarine at the end of Route 302. Then, we get on and we go to an underwater city. It’s actually called Underwater City,” The Trick Master said. “It’s interesting.”
“Wow, really? Cool!” Liza’s eyes sparkled.
“Yeah, so we head over here, then over there...”

“Well, here we are.” Liza said. “The submarine.”
“This submarine comes only once every day, so we’re lucky we got there.” The Trick Master said, as they bought tickets and got on the submarine.

“Wow...” Liza was astounded. “Look at all these Water-Type Pokemon!”
“Well, we’re underwater...” The Trick Master informed. “Look at that!” The Trick Master pointed to a light blue Pokemon. It had a blue lining coming out of its head with a circle at the top. It had a big, red gem on its body. The bottom of it looked like a spinning top. “That’s a Phione! That’s a legendary Pokemon! It’s said to bring good luck.” The Trick Master gasped.
Liza was astounded. The Phione looked at her! Was it bringing her good luck? She wondered what it was doing. Then, it swam away. Liza’s eyes were wide opened.
“Good luck. I wonder what it gave you good luck for?” The Trick Master smiled, looking at Liza. Then, they arrived at Underwater City.

“Wow! This city has glass bottoms! We can see what’s underneath us!” Liza gasped. “So, is there a gym here?” She asked the Trick Master.
“Yes. The gym leader’s name is Ashley.” The Trick Master informed. “You’d be good against her. She’s a water type gym leader and you have a grass type. But She can use moved like Ice Beam...” She frowned. “...Hey! I got it!”
“Huh?” Liza wondered what she was going to say.
“If you can rent scuba diving gear for you, you can train your Pokemon underwater!” She grinned.
“That’s a great idea! I’ll go buy scuba diving gear now.” Liza smiled.

“Okay, here it goes...” Liza went out of the mini submarine she was in and put on her diving gear. There were lots and lots of Water Types. ‘I have 10 minutes to stay here, and I can’t go too deep...’ She said in her mind.
Suddenly, a beautiful Pokemon charged at her. Liza dodged swiftly. She took out her Pokedex, and learned it was a Milotic. She called out Flespeed. “Vine Whip!” Flespeed charged at Milotic and slapped it with its vines!
Milotic covered itself in a water veil. ‘Aqua Ring,’ Liza thought in her head.
“Razor Leaf!” Flespeed glided in the water and shot many leaves at Milotic. It was severely damaged!
“Great Ball, go!” Flespeed threw the teal ball at Milotic. It rolled... and then Milotic was caught! “YES!” She cheered, grabbing the Great Ball.

“Wow, you caught a Milotic?!” The Trick Master gasped. “That’s a really rare Pokemon!”
“Aw, thanks!” Liza blushed. “It was all thanks to Flespeed.”
“Well, maybe that Phione did mean good luck to you! And maybe you can challenge the gym now!” The Trick Master grinned.
“Maybe I can. Maybe I should.”

Chapter 6:
"Ah! You wish to challenge me?” Ashley, the gym leader, said, after Liza and The Trick Master went into the gym. The gym had water and two platforms (which the challengers and gym leaders stand on). “You see, this is an underwater gym. You get scuba diving gear and we battle underwater with water-type Pokemon!” She grinned.
“Interesting! I’d love to do it!” Liza smiled.
“Very well! I warn you, I’m strong! We’ll use 1 Pokemon each and we battle underwater.” Ashley informed. Ashley jumped in the water and swam while holding scuba diving gear. She handed it to Liza. Then, she swam back.
“Thank you!” Liza smiled. “Alright, here it goes! Go, Milotic!” She called out, also jumping into the water as Milotic came out of its Pokeball.
“Milotic, right? Go, Gyarados!” Ashley called out. Gyarados flew into the water from above and Ashley jumped underwater too.

“Milotic! Aqua Tail!” Liza commanded.
“Gyarados, use your Aqua Tail!” Ashley yelled. The two Pokemon gained water on their tail and slammed it into each other. Gyarados surprisingly took more damage!
“Huh!?” Ashley gasped. “Use Crunch!” Gyarados opened its mouth. It showed its huge jaws. It swam towards Milotic and bit into it!
“Milotic! Are you alright?” Liza gasped. “Aqua Ring!” A veil of water surrounded Milotic! “Use Ice Beam!” Liza commanded as Milotic shot a line of ice out of its mouth to hit Gyarados! Gyarados fainted!
“What?!” Ashley gasped. “Return, Gyarados!” She recalled it. Ashley and Liza (After cheering for Milotic) went back up above water.
“Liza, you were great. I have learned that sometimes gym leaders need more practice, therefore, here if your Aqua badge!” Ashley showed Liza a glittering badge. Liza took it out of her hands.
“Thanks!” She smiled.
“Liza, let’s go.” The Trick Master said.
“Alright! Bye, Ashley!” Liza waved, as they left.

When Liza and The Trick Master went out, they heard screaming. “The city is sinking!” Everyone gasped. “Who could have done this!”
“...” The Trick Master stared. “I know who.” She said. The whole city’s people turned to her. “It’s Team Galactic.” She said blankly. “The new evil team in Dassho.”
“Team... Galactic...?” Liza blinked. “Wait! I’ve heard about them...”

“That’s right! Liza, I forgot to mention, those men called themselves Team Galactic. They wanted my papers and the bag to steal Pokemon. I don’t know what they want with them, sorry...” Andrew sighed.

“I’ve heard of them! Team Galactic!” Liza gasped. “From Andrew!”
The Trick Master growled. “We have to stop them!”
“I’m gonna help!” Liza grinned.
“...Thanks.” The Trick Master smiled.
“Let’s buy scuba diving gear and get out in the water!”

Swimming fast out of the submarine, Liza looked around. ‘What could be happening...?!’ She thought.
Suddenly, she noticed a young woman with odd, red hair. “Who is she? Could she be causing this?” Liza asked herself. The red haired woman noticed her!
“I know that face.” The Trick Master growled. “It’s Mars.”
“Is she part of Team Galactic?” Liza asked.
“Yes.”
“Hey! Intruders!” Her high, annoying voice screamed. “Go away! I’m busy!”
“Sinking the town?” Liza growled.
“Can’t you see you’re saying the truth?” She grinned.
“YOU... BI-!” The Trick Master yelled.
“Stay calm, Trick Master!” Liza gasped. “I’ll take care of this!” She swam quickly for Mars and tackled her!
“Get off of me!” Mars screeched.
“Not until you stop sinking the town!” Liza growled. She punched her! Mars was badly injured. “That’s right!” She smirked.
“Okay, okay! I’ll stop!” She growled, noticing The Trick Master’s tall hat. She knew something was inside it. Something special, but she didn’t know what. She swam away.

“Hooray!” The townspeople cheered for Liza and The Trick Master
The two regained their breath. “Thank you... Thank you...” They gasped.
“So, how do we get to the next town?” Liza asked The Trick Master.
“We get to a submarine... and take it to Glitch City! Interesting city.” The Trick Master laughed, as they now got on a submarine for free... for saving the city!

“Hmph. I’ll get them later...” Mars growled. “Now I have to report back to Cyrus about those two. Maybe he can get rid of them...”

Chapter 7: (Contains swear censoring)
“Ah, here we are. Glitch City. Odd...” Liza blinked, as they arrived out of the submarine into the city.
“Yeah.” The Trick Master laughed.
“Is there a gym here?”
“Yeah again. The leader’s name is SIlver. He uses the Dark Type.” The Trick Master informed.
“Oh, really? Cool! What’s he like?” Liza smiled.
“Well... he’s uh... cool.” The Trick Master frowned.
“You mean he keeps his cool. Even when he’s angry.” Liza stated. “He sounds like a very fun guy!”
“How the f--k did you come to that conclusion?!” The Trick Master gasped. “Anyways, he’s pretty strong. So we should train a little...”
“Hmph. So you haven’t beaten Silver yet? How lame.” A voice spoke. Liza recognized the voice.
Paul.
“Huh? Who was that?” The Trick Master asked.
“That’s a jerk ass I met. His name’s Paul.” Liza glared, turning to Paul, as well at The Trick Master.
“Hmph. Go faster. Speed up. Speed up on the badges.” Paul glared.
“Why should I? It’s good to go at an easy pace.” Liza said blankly.
“Your Pokemon are weak. Very weak. THAT’S why you can’t speed up.”
Liza’s face was red with fury.
“Hey! Leave her alone!” The Trick Master yelled.
“Why? Do you wanna battle me?” Paul grinned.
“Trick Master, don’t! Your Pokemon aren’t-!” Liza gasped.
“Don’t worry, Liza. I took different Pokemon out of my PC.” She smirked.
“Hmph. I’ll battle. Prepare to lose.” Paul grinned.

“Alright! This’ll be a Double Battle, 2 Pokemon Each!” Paul called out.
“Fine with me! Go, Darkrai! Go, Glaceon!” The Trick Master grinned, calling a black Pokemon with a red, spiky collar and a blue graceful Pokemon out.
“Honchkrow! Electabuzz! Standby for battle!” Paul called out a black Bird Pokemon with a hat looking shape on its head and a white tuff. He also called out a yellow Electric-Type Pokemon with shocks coming out of the antennas on its head.
“You go first.” The Trick Master grinned.
“Okay! Honchkrow, use Dark Pulse on Glaceon!” Paul ordered. Honchkrow shot black rings out of its mouth and it hit Glaceon.
“Pretty good!” The Trick Master smiled. “Now, Glaceon... Blizzard!” The Trick Master ordered. A freezing cold blizzard came out of Glaceon’s mouth, and hit Honchkrow and Electabuzz! Honchkrow fainted, and Electabuzz was very weak.
Paul called back Honchkrow. “You’re worthless.” He said coldly.
The Trick Master cringed, glaring at Paul. She called back Glaceon for doing its job.
“Electabuzz! Use Thunder!” Paul commanded.
“Nu uh uh, not so fast!” The Trick Master smirked. “Darkrai! Use Dark Void!” She commanded. Darkrai shot a big, black blob at Electabuzz. Electabuzz was hit, but not hurt... and it fell asleep!
“Electabuzz! Wake up!” Paul gasped.
“Don’t attack, Darkrai!” The Trick Master tilted her head up to Paul. “Darkrai’s special ability. Bad Dreams. It chips at the sleeping opponent’s health.” She grinned. She paused. “Now, Darkrai! Use Nightmare!” Darkrai’s eyes turned dark blue and so did an veil around Electabuzz. Electabuzz could not take anymore suffering, and fainted. “Piece of cake.” The Trick Master grinned.
“YOU ONLY WON BECAUSE MY POKEMON WERE WORTHLESS!” Paul yelled.
“Oh, you’d win if you were nicer to your Pokemon!” The Trick Master glared.
“Hmph. Whatever. I’ll win next time.” Paul frowned, walking away.

“Paul’s such a jerk.” The Trick Master was annoyed with Paul’s low ‘kindness’ to his Pokemon.
“Agreed.” Liza sighed. “Well, we’d better get going. Where do we go next?”
“We go to...” The Trick Master looked at her map. “...Hey! We forgot the gym! You should go challenge Silver soon!” She smiled.
Liza smiled a little. “I’ll give it a try. But tomorrow, really.” She yawned. “Let’s get some rest at the Pokemon Center.”

Liza nearly fell asleep. She then noticed The Trick Master with her top hat on. “Hey... why is your top hat on? Don’t you want to take it off?” Liza yawned. But it was silent. The Trick Master was asleep. “Oh well... I’ll learn later.” She smiled.

Chapter 8:
“Hey! Is anyone here?” The Trick Master called out. The gym was dark. Very very dark.
“...Hmph. I’ve seen you made it.” A boy’s voice sighed. The lights turned on, and The Trick Master and Liza cringed at the lights. “Hello. I am Silver. I see you challenge me.”
“Well, I do.” Liza said.
“...Hmph. But don’t cry if you lose.” Silver growled. “Go, Sneasel!” Silver called out a black Pokemon with a red feather on its top and a yelled gem on the middle of its head.
“Sneasel, eh? Go, Baboom!” Liza called out. “Use Slam!” She commanded. Baboom slammed Sneasel with its long tail and Sneasel took serious damage!
“Silver, Icy Wind!” Silver commanded. Sneasel shot cold air out of its mouth and sometimes little shards of ice. Baboom took some damage.
“Ack! Baboom, Uproar!” Baboom make a loud, obnoxious sound and Sneasel couldn’t take the noise. It fainted.
“Gr... Mighteyana! Go!” Silver called out.
Liza recalled Baboom. “Flespeed, go! Vine Whip!” Flespeed started to shine though!
“Liza!” The Trick Master gasped. “It’s evolving into Vinehawk!”
Flespeed changed shape in the white light. The vines on its head became longer. The flowers on its neck became lilies. It grew a pretty tail with a small rose at the top. “Great job, Vinehawk!” Liza cheered. “Now, use Razor Leaf!” She commanded, as Mighteyana was hit with multiple sharp leaves. The move was very strong. Mighteyana fainted suddenly and Liza ran up and hugged Vinehawk.
“Hmph.” Silver snarled. “The gym rules here are 2 on 2... so here’s your badge. Reluctantly...” Silver grumbled, giving Liza a sparkling Shadow Badge.
“Thanks!” Liza smiled.
“Whatever. Get out.” Silver snarled.

“He’s just like a second Paul.” Liza growled, being at the Pokemon Center with The Trick Master.
“Yeah, good theory.” The Trick Master laughed.
“Well, should we get going?” Liza asked.
“Where next?” The Trick Master asked. “...Oh! There’s a Pokemon Contest here! I think you should enter with Milotic! Lots of contestants that enter with Milotic win.”
“Thanks; Maybe I will!” Liza smiled.

“Let’s run!” Liza gasped, as the two ran to the Pokemon contest. Liza turned to The Trick Master. “What are you entering with by the way?” She asked.
“I’m entering with Glaceon,” The Trick Master smiled.
“Well, good luck! Ah, here we are; the Contest Hall...” Liza smiled.

Chapter 9:
“Finally! It’s my turn!” Liza grinned. She entered the Pokemon Contest, and it was finally her turn. She ran on stage.
“And it’s Liza’s turn! What Pokemon will she call out?” The announcer spoke.
“Alright! Go, Milotic!” She put a seal on Milotic’s Pokeball. It was a sparkle seal. As Milotic came out, sparkles came out with it. “Milotic! Use Aqua Ring!” Liza ordered. Milotic spun around, and made a veil of water for the moist on its body. The crowd gave cheers.
“Alright! They love us! Now, use Hydro Pump!” Milotic, spinning in its veil, shot a Hydro Pump in the air. “Iron Tail!” Milotic made the Hydro Pump into multiple shapes using its tail; a heart, a star, L, I, Z and A to spell ‘Liza’. The crowd cheered for Liza.
“Now, for the final appeal! Use Aqua Ring, then Ice Beam to freeze it!” Liza commanded as Milotic made another veil of water. Once it was completed, Milotic span around in circles, around the rings, freezing them with Ice Beam. “Iron Tail!” Milotic spun around swiftly, Iron Tailing the ice, which made pretty sparkles. The crowed applauded for Liza and Milotic, as they bowed and went off stage.

“Did you see that, Trick Master?” Liza asked eagerly. “See how well I did?”
“You did very well! Congrats!” The Trick Master cheered.
“It wasn’t THAT good.” A voice spoke, unpleased.
“Huh?” Liza turned around.
It was Paul.
“Oh, hey Paul!” Liza smiled. “You like contests too? This is my first one!”
“Hmph. Do you care? Of course this is my first contest, I’m only entering to strengthen my Pokemon.” Paul huffed.
“Oh, well, good luck!” Liza smiled.
“I won’t need it. Especially from you.” Paul sighed. He went on stage after his name was announced.

“Our next contestant is PAUL! Give it up for him!” The announcer screamed happily.
“Fierth! Standby for battle!” Paul called out his stolen starter Pokemon. Liza was growling as she watched the TV screen.
“Eruption!” He ordered. Fierth sent out magma from its mouth. “Now, Iron Tail! Use it on the rocks!”
Fierth seemed scared to hit his tail against burning hot rocks. “Well? Do it!” Paul yelled. Fierth was scared, but it gained courage. Its tail began to shine gray and it hit its tail against the rocks in the Eruption. Without complimenting his Pokemon, Paul ordered Fierth to use Sunny Day to make a sparkling light. Fierth reluctantly did so, because of its harsh trainer.
“Spin and use Fire Spin!” Paul ordered.
Fierth jumped and spun, making circles of fire around it, and then breaking it to make little hot sparkles as a final appeal.
The crowd cheered happily. However, Paul walked off stage silently.

“Paul! That was really good!” Liza cheered.
“Hmph. I know it was. That’s how good I am.” Paul laughed a little under his smirk.
“Hey, don’t you have anything nice to say?” Liza growled.
Meanwhile, The Trick Master could hardly sit still. It was her turn next.
“Good luck out there, Trick Master.” Liza smiled.
“Thanks.” The Trick Master smiled.
The announcer called The Trick Master up on stage. “Hey, why didn’t it say her real name? Did she enter with just The Trick Master? Oh well.” Liza thought to herself.

Chapter 10:
“Go, Glaceon! Use Ice Shard!” The Trick Master commanded her Glaceon as she got it out of its heart-sealed Pokeball. Glaceon spun and, on each of the hearts, hit them all with an Ice Shard. It made pretty red sparkles.
“Now, jump and use Blizzard!” Glaceon jumped up high and hit the ground with Blizzard, freezing it, as Glaceon fell down. “Run on the ice and use Iron Tail on the ground!” The Trick Master ordered as Glaceon slid everywhere on the icy ground. Eventually, it hit a ramp. But instead of ramming into it, Glaceon hit the ramp with Iron Tail. Still skiing on the ice, Glaceon’s tail kept hitting the ground, making ice shards fly up everywhere. Soon, the floor was clean, but wet.
“Use Sunny Day to clean up the ice!” The Trick Master yelled, as Glaceon’s crown shined. Bright lights appeared, and the water slowly disappeared, as Glaceon was doing tricks on the water. When the water was clean, it ran up to The Trick Master’s shoulder and jumped on her. The Trick Master bowed, and the crowd cheered more than they cheered for anyone else.
“Thank you, thank you!” The Trick Master called out happily. She went off stage.

“Trick Master, you were awesome!” Liza hugged The Trick Master as she came back to Liza and Paul.
“Hmph. Mine was better.” Paul huffed. Liza glared at him, but The Trick Master put her hand on Liza’s shoulder, and Liza stopped glaring, and sighed.
The announcer’s voice shouted out in the building. “Alright! It’s time for the battle match-ups!” Her voice sang. “The battle match-ups are...!” A television showed a tournament like battle match-up screen. Liza, The Trick Master and Paul looked up.
Liza’s face paled. “Uh...”
Paul smirked. “Hah.”
The Trick Master shrugged. “Meh.”
The match-ups were...

Paul - Liza
Trick Master - Davis
Ilana - Jerry
Danielle - Sarah

Liza was speechless. Paul was against her! She tried not to cry. “Uh... Good luck.” She was wide eyed. She covered her eyes with her sleeve. The Trick Master came to comfort her. She patted Liza on the shoulder.
“I won’t need luck, you’re going down.” Paul frowned. “Because your Pokemon are so worthless.”
“That’s not true!” Liza yelled, stomping towards Paul. However, she was shaking all over her body.
“Don’t try to act so tough, you’re shaking all over.” Paul glared.
Liza growled as the two walked up stage.

“Well... here goes nothing! Go, Vinehawk!” Liza called out the evolved Pokemon.
“Heh. You made a pretty bad decision. Weavile! Stand by for contest battle!” Paul sighed, calling it out.
‘Oh CRAP! Weavile’s an Ice Type! Grass-Flying types stand no chance against that!’ Liza shivered as she said this to herself. “Alright!” She tried to keep her cool. “Vinehawk, Vine Whip!” Liza commanded.
Vinehawk shot out its vines from its head.
“Pathetic. Weavile, grab those vines!” Paul commanded, as Weavile caught the vines coming at it with its hands. “Blizzard! Use it across the vines!”
“Vinehawk! You have to get free!” Liza cried. Vinehawk tried to get free of Weavile’s grip, but it was too weak to get free.
“Heh... Weavile, do it!” Paul ordered. Weavile shot a Blizzard down Vinehawk’s vines! Vinehawk took serious damage, and fell to the ground!
“VINEHAWK! Try to get up!” Liza cried. Vinehawk growled in pain. It tried to get up, but fell back down. “Vinehawk! Are you okay?” Liza called out. However, she didn’t know how injured it was. It was covered with scars and it was freezing cold... It just couldn’t fight anymore. “Vinehawk! Please...!”
A red ‘X’ went across the judge’s screen. Liza had never been in a contest, but she knew what it meant;
She lost. Vinehawk was too injured.
“Heh, how pathetic.” Paul snarled. He recalled Weavile without a word and left the stage, with Liza looking down at Vinehawk with tears forming in her eyes.

Liza was back in the waiting room. Tears were falling down her eyes into her hands. The Trick Master was in the room with her, trying to comfort. “I’m so sorry you lost, Liza!” She cried.
“I-I stink! All I thought was how good my Vinehawk would do out there... but I was wrong! I-I’m a horrible trainer!” Liza sobbed.
The Trick Master looked at her sadly. “It hurts, Liza. It hurts.” She tried to go over her sobbing, but she couldn’t get to her.
“To think I was such a good trainer... I was totally wrong... And now, I thought I’d do good, but... I didn’t think how hard it’d be to lose!” She cried really loudly. The Trick Master patted her on the back.
“Maybe this contest might have been too much for you,” She sighed. “Maybe next contest you’ll win.” But she just couldn’t comfort Liza... She finally thought of a way. “I lost against Davis. I lost. I feel sad. But let’s just move on!” She smiled to Liza.
Liza looked at her in shock. “...Thanks.” She smiled, wiping her tears.
The two left the contest hall to join the crowd.

Chapter 11:
“Alright! There’s one minute left for the battle between Paul and Davis! Who’ll win?” The announcer yelled to the crowd eagerly.
“Ursaring! Use Focus Blast!” Paul ordered. It was fighting Davis’ Peliper.
“No way!” Davis grinned. “Peliper, use Hydro Pump!” Davis ordered. Peliper shot the powerful water attack, which knocked out Ursaring!
“Ursaring!” Paul called out angrily. He recalled Ursaring. “You’re worthless.” He growled, walking off stage. Paul lost the contest. He didn’t stay to watch Davis take his ribbon, he just went away.

“Paul!” The Trick Master and Liza called out. Paul turned around.
“Wow, you were great throughout that entire contest!” The Trick Master giggled.
“Hmph. I just won because all of you are weak.” Paul huffed.
“Hey!” Liza growled.
“Hmph. Whatever. I won’t be seeing you soon.” Paul growled, walking away.

“What a jerk! I hate him!” Liza slammed her fist on the table at the Pokemon Center.
“Liza, calm down...” The Trick Master sighed. “I think we should get going to the next town. We should head to iCity. It’s a high-tech city. But before, there are some ruins in between Glitch City and iCity. Would you like to go see?” The Trick Master smiled.
“Sure! And I’d love to go and challenge the gym leader after!” Liza smiled.
“Then let’s go! I know the way.” The Trick Master laughed.

On the way to the ruins, Liza encountered a vicious enemy. “A Pikachu!” She gasped. She knew she put Baboom in her PC, so she had more room in her party. “Go, Vinehawk!” She called it out. “Use Magical Leaf!” She gasped, as Vinehawk released many shining leaves from its mouth, hitting Pikachu.
“Pika!” It growled. Shocks released from its red cheeks, releasing a Thunderbolt. It hit Vinehawk.
“Vinehawk! Good, it’s okay... Vinehawk, go, and use Vine Whip!” Vinehawk’s head’s vines slashed at Pikachu.
“Great job! Great Ball time! Go!” Liza took out a great ball and chucked it at Pikachu.
Roll.
Roll.
Roll.
DING!
“Alright! I caught a Pikachu!” Liza smiled, holding up the Great Ball. “We should go to the ruins now!” Liza said.
“Yes! We should!” The Trick Master grinned.

“Ah, so these are the ruins...” The two arrived at the ruins. There were some strange engravings on the brick wall. It was dusty at the top. Very, very dusty. Below the dust, there was a strange Pokemon. Liza recognized it from the statue on Route 302. She didn’t was to say it to The Trick Master though.
“Why is it dusty at the top?” Liza asked.
“I don’t know.” The Trick Master sighed.
“Should we go find out?”
“...Alright.” The Trick Master sighed.
The Trick Master took out a duster. She dusted off the top of the ruins. She looked in astonishment.
It was her. Without her top hat. With a sword above her. And Unown letters; I. S. A. B. E. L. Liza could recognize her, and Liza was just as astonished as her.
“Is that you...?” She asked nervously.
“...Yes. It is.” She cringed.
“Hmph... Children, in the ruins?” A man’s voice asked.
Liza and The Trick Master turned around.
The Trick Master glared at the man.
Liza recognized him.
The man from the statue.
“I know that person.” The Trick Master whispered to Liza.
“Really?” Liza gasped, whispering.
“Yeah. And I have no time to waste. I need to protect the ruins from him seeing. He’s Cyrus, the leader of Team Galactic.” The Trick Master cringed.
“Move aside, I have research to conduct.” Cyrus said.
The Trick Master stood in front of the ruins. “No! I can’t let you!”
“Move, girl.” Cyrus twitched.
“Um, no.” The Trick Master glared.
“Really?” Cyrus growled, taking out a knife.
“Aah! A knife!” The Trick Master gasped, running up to Liza, who was... aside from the ruins.
“Trick Master! Don’t!” Liza gasped.
“Good girl...” Cyrus grinned, staring at the ruins. He looked at The Trick Master. Then at the ruins. Then at The Trick Master. Then at the ruins. He looked in awe.
“...Ah. Oh. That’s bad.” The Trick Master laughed nervously.
“You... are on here.” Cyrus stared.
“Trick Master. What are you planning on doing.” Liza asked her, glaring.
The Trick Master was silent until...
“No. That’s my sister. She lives on P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney.” She laughed.
“You liar! That’s from Finding Nemo!” Cyrus yelled.
“...Um... Crap?” The Trick Master growled.
“Give me the sword!” Cyrus growled.
“What sword? Do you see me have a sword?” The Trick Master growled.
Cyrus knocked her over. Her top hat fell off. Out of it, there was a sword! Liza gasped.
“Trick Master... seriously...?” Liza was wide eyed.
“...” The Trick Master sighed.
“GIVE ME THAT!” Cyrus yelled.
The Trick Master fainted at his yell. Liza picked her up. “Go away!” She growled. “Leave my friend alone!”
“Not until she gives me the sword!” He smirked.
“Pikachu! Thunderbolt!” Liza commanded, calling Pikachu out as it used a powerful Thunderbolt. Cyrus was paralyzed, and Liza ran off, holding The Trick Master’s top hat and The Trick Master herself.
They escaped far away from Cyrus... Until...
Paul showed up.
“WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR CRAP!” Liza yelled.
“I don’t care. Battle me.” He smirked.

Chapter 12:
“I SAID! We don’t have time! We have to run!” Liza growled.
“Prove it.” Paul smirked.
Liza pointed to Cyrus, who was close behind them.
“Hmph. I don’t care. I want a battle, NOW!” Paul yelled.
“How stubborn!” She scowled. “The Trick Master is in danger! Can’t you see that?!”
“I said, I don’t care!” Paul growled.
“Huh...” The Trick Master mumbled, while waking up.
“We can’t!” Liza cried. “We have to run!”
“BATTLE ME GOD DAMNIT!” Paul yelled.
“SHUT UP!” Liza ran past him.
“Liza... Thank you...” The Trick Master was finally awake.
“Good. You’re awake. Listen, Cyrus is chasing after us. We have to run fast.” Liza stared.
“Okay...” The Trick Master sighed. She didn’t want to chased around.
“Trick Master... I have a question before we run. Is your name really Isabel?” Liza asked.
“Yes. It is. I was just hiding it so no one would see my true identity.” The Trick Master said.
Suddenly, Galactic grunts surrounded the two.
“Crap!” Isabel growled.
“What do we do...!?” Liza panicked.
“Absolutely nothing.” Cyrus said, walking through the crowd. “Hand over the sword.”
“No! I will not!” Isabel growled.
“And how did I get involved in this?” Paul asked.
“BECAUSE YOU HELD US UP WITH YOUR CRAP, that’s why.” Liza glared.
“Guys, that’s not important right now!” Isabel gasped. Then, she had an idea. “I got it! If I can, I’ll teleport us to iCity... But it’s only a chance. Let’s take it!”
“Sure!” Liza grinned.
“Whatever.” Paul huffed.
Isabel took out her sword, and slashed thin air, making a portal. “Perfect! This should do it.” She grinned. “Jump in, everyone!”
“Right!” Isabel nodded, jumping in, with Paul, while he was growling.

After lots of spinning and turning...
They finally arrived in iCity.

Chapter 13:
“Yay! We made it!” Liza cheered after the three arrived in iCity secretly through the portal. Liza and Isabel were happy, and Paul was reluctant.
“Ugh... Someone happy-go-lucky lives here...” Paul growled.
“Who?” Liza asked.
“My older, cheerful, idiotic brother. Ugh. I hate him.” Paul sighed.
“You have a brother?!” Isabel gasped.
“Yeah. And I hate him too.” Paul clutched his fist in anger.
“Well anyways we won’t get through much just standing here. I think we’re safe from Team Galactic... So... There’s a gym here. Who wants to go challenge it?” Isabel asked. “I think the gym leader here’s name is Julia. And she uses Electric types.”
“Yeah, I have her badge as well.” A voice said. Paul recognized it and growled.
“Huh? Who was that?” Isabel asked. The boy turned around.
“Hi, I’m Reggie. Paul’s my younger brother.” He smiled.
“BY 1 YEAR!” Paul growled.
“Well, you know what I mean.” Reggie laughed. Paul growled.
“Anyways, you said you had her badge. How many badges do you have in Dassho?” Liza asked.
“Well, let me show you.” Reggie smiled, taking out a Dassho badge case. It had:

The Confusion Badge
The Shadow Badge
The Aqua Badge
The Icicle Badge
The iElectronic Badge
The Wing Badge
The Clown Badge
The Final Elder Badge

All 8 badges. Liza was astounded. Isabel was wide eyed.
“Hmph, so you still haven’t gotten the final medal from the Hoenn Battle Frontier, right?” Paul sighed.
“No. I gave up on that long ago.” Reggie said.
“Pathetic.” Paul glared.
Reggie ignored Paul’s comment. He turned to Isabel and Liza. “Anyways, good luck on the gym battle. Have fun!” He smiled.
“Thanks!” Liza smiled, as Reggie walked away.
Paul turned to Liza. “NOW can we have our battle?” He asked, fairly irritated.
“Wow, calm the hell down. We can have a battle, ONLY if it’ll be a 1-on-1 battle. Right?” Liza grinned.
“Sure, whatever.” Paul huffed. “Honchkrow, standby for battle!” Paul called out.
“A flying type, huh?” Liza smiled. “Pikachu! I choose you!” Liza called out her newly caught Pikachu.
“AUGH PIKACHU! THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE.” Paul growled. “Honchkrow, Dark Pulse!” He ordered.
“Pikachu, counter with Thunderbolt!”
The two attacks collided, making an explosion. Both Pokemon were sent back flying.
“Honchkrow! Get up!” Paul yelled.
“Pikachu! You can do it!” Liza called out. “Use Iron Tail!” Liza ordered, as its tail glowed, launching a powerful attack from its tail, hitting Honchkrow. Honchkrow was really damaged.
“Honchkrow, Sky Attack!” Paul ordered. Honchkrow started to light up.
“Pikachu, before it can attack, use Brick Break!” Liza ordered. Pikachu hit Honchkrow with its tail, knocking it out.
“WHAT?!” Paul growled, recalling Honchkrow without a word.
Pikachu ran back up to Liza and hugged her, as Liza hugged back. “You were great!” Liza laughed.
“Hmph. You only got lucky. I’m gonna go for now, but I’ll beat you and your stupid team later.” Paul huffed, walking away.
“Well, we battle the gym leader now?” Liza asked Isabel.
“We sure do! Let’s go, now!” Isabel grinned.

Thanks for reading, and sorry for the huge post! ^^;

Again, compliments+critiques plz

Astinus
August 29th, 2009, 06:12 PM
One thing you can do to make it easier for other people to read is to space the paragraphs better. Each time you make a new paragraph, hit the Enter button twice. This way, there's an empty line between each paragraph.

Also, just from skimming, if you can fit thirteen chapters in one post, the chapter length needs to be increased. Because that's really short for a chapter, unless done deliberately.

I would say more, but the lack of paragraphs makes it rather difficult to read, so I can't say much.

Danielle The Great
August 29th, 2009, 09:12 PM
One thing you can do to make it easier for other people to read is to space the paragraphs better. Each time you make a new paragraph, hit the Enter button twice. This way, there's an empty line between each paragraph.

Also, just from skimming, if you can fit thirteen chapters in one post, the chapter length needs to be increased. Because that's really short for a chapter, unless done deliberately.

I would say more, but the lack of paragraphs makes it rather difficult to read, so I can't say much.

Thanks for the critique! Much is always appreciated. ^^
Yeah, I need to make my chapters longer, really. xD So I should also try to double-enter the lines in my story? I think that would help too.

Danielle The Great
September 2nd, 2009, 12:04 AM
Well. Since I now have the power to post links, I shall give you the links to this story on my dA.

Chapter 14: http://daniellethegreat.deviantart.com/art/PWS-We-have-to-find-Darkrai-135450147

Chapter 15: http://daniellethegreat.deviantart.com/art/PWS-We-finally-found-Darkrai-135546019