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kingrocker
August 30th, 2009, 12:37 PM
Hello, i'm writing this fan fiction, so Please enjoy it

Sometime i might make a theme music, so just wait

Events of the Horizon


Oh no, I’m late.
I really have to get to the lab, hey Ariel
Hey Leo, What’s up
Nothing much
Let’s do this
Hello Professor Granite
Hi Mom
Hi Kids, Let’s see, we have a Torchic for Leo, and For Ariel, a Mudkip
Thanks Professor Granite
Bye Mom
Let’s go Ariel
I’m coming
So, Why are you traveling with me
Because You want to take on gyms, and I want to try contests
I’m hungry, got any food
No, but aren’t we forgetting something
Hey, You Forgot about Me You Guys
Sorry Easton, I was late and I forgot to remind Ariel
Sorry bro
So How long Does it Take to Get to Rickshaw Town
About one day
And the contest is in Three
So we have a few days to spare
Who are those Guys Blocking the path
Please use the forest path to get to Rickshaw town, A landslide has blocked the path
Okay
This path is actually shorter than The regular one, only a third of a day to rickshaw
Okay, so what pokemon did you get Easton
A Treeko
Okay
So isn’t there a town nearby to rest at
Look ahead
Wha-OW
We’re here
So We rest, then head back out to rickshaw
Hello, Have you seen an Electrike
No, Why
I found an injured one and it ran when I tried to help it
Whoa
Hey, it fell asleep on me
You can have it then,
Okay
I caught an Electrike
Not really caught it, more like, recived
Okay Mr. Researcher
The next Day
Wake up Leo
Sorry Ariel,
Let’s get going

END

Soon another Episode, And maybe some maps
so stay tuned

kingrocker
August 30th, 2009, 02:30 PM
Episode 2
A Fast Recap

Here we are, Rickshaw town,
So, I’m Going to The gym
With a fire and electric type, she’ll cream you with her ground types
Sure, So I’m still challenging her
Hello
Hello, I’m Cealelle, Are you here to challenge me
You the gym leader
Yes
Then Yes
So, one on one
Sure
Go Torchic
Go Swinub
Use scratch
Use ice beam
Torchic, Tor
Torchic, use ember to melt the ice
Nub
Scratch it again
Tor-chic
Use ice beam swinub
Swine-ub
Scratch and ember again
Swinub
Swinub has fainted
You actually won
Here, Take this Badge
Take this too
This is TM28
It contains Dig
I know

Later
Hey, Guys Guess what
You actually won
Yeah
We should do something,
The Quickest way to The next city is by train
Yeah, Cause it’s called traisloth city, that means it Has a train, as in the Trai, in Traisloth
Sure
It’s in the Guide
Okay
So we have to go where to board it
Um the Station, it runs from here, to Traisloth
To The Ferry port
Okay
Three days later
The contest is here people
And I’m up
After the contest
Yes I Have my first Ribbon
So we can go to the City
Sure
Let’s go

End
New episode soon

Astinus
August 30th, 2009, 05:47 PM
I...what?

This is a really really poorly written script fic. Even with script fics that aren't well-written, you can still tell who's going on.

This needs improvement in everything. Grammar, description, characterization...everything. Because this is just... There's nothing there to even begin to guess what's going on.

Closed for not meeting the standards of the section.