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SkythurBathandBeyond151
September 2nd, 2009, 10:14 AM
I couldn't sleep one night so I found something to do to cure my boredom.

It goes to Mr. Mom (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PokBAxtvW4) by Lonestar

Let me know what you think; if it's bad, don't sugar coat it, just tell me.


Lost a battle, got beat bad.
Nurse Joy healed me, and I was glad.
She said, “Try and buy more potions and I hope to see you soon.”
I looked at Venonat,
Wish he could learn DoubleSlap
So he could have more attacks, and beat more Pokemon!

Well
Natty gets pwnd by the flyers
Man I wish his stats were higher.
Just got beat for the fifteenth time.
The dude had six, Arcanine
There’s no way this battle’s fair,
She used Charizard and Dragonair.
Been training all day long, and we still get beat by
Everyone!

Sludge Bomb, Psychic, Sunny Day.
Those TM’s got thrown away.
I swear that Nat is deaf,
That’s seven commands wrong…
How much Smokescreen can he take?
We can’t land our Captivate.
Half my money they will take
Man I want my mom!

Well
Natty doesn’t like the fire
I still wish his stats were higher
Just got beat for the sixteenth time
Same guy with six, Arcanine
Houndour’s Howl pierced the air,
If only Nat was Unaware.
Been training all day long, and we still get beat by
Everyone!

Before I lose another fight
If it means training all night
We must reach evolve time.

Cuz,
Natty’s now himself a flyer
All his stats grew even higher.
Beat the Elite Four for the eighteenth time
And the six, Arcanine
Now that Natty is in the air
He can take me anywhere
Been training all night long
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Been training all night long, and now we can beat
Everyone!

Challenging trainers, gaining skills
Now there is nothing to it
Natty might be something you would steal,
But I advise you, not to do it.

Gold warehouse
September 2nd, 2009, 11:30 AM
if it's bad, don't sugar coat it, just tell me.

Okay, I won't. :[

Your spelling and grammar is awful, please make sure you're actually using real words when writing; "Cuz" is not a word.
It lacks any real layout or sentence structure and just seems to be a jumble of words randomly thrown into verses with poor attempts at rhyming.

lern 2 poem plz.

Fox♠
September 2nd, 2009, 11:34 AM
Okay, I won't. :[

Your spelling and grammar is awful, please make sure you're actually using real words when writing; "Cuz" is not a word.
It lacks any real layout or sentence structure and just seems to be a jumble of words randomly thrown into verses with poor attempts at rhyming.

lern 2 poem plz.

Ryan you just hate venonats.

But srsly. Awful grammarz aside. I loved it, reminded me of a cheesy 90s rap.

SkythurBathandBeyond151
September 2nd, 2009, 01:23 PM
Okay, I won't. :[

Your spelling and grammar is awful, please make sure you're actually using real words when writing; "Cuz" is not a word.
It lacks any real layout or sentence structure and just seems to be a jumble of words randomly thrown into verses with poor attempts at rhyming.

lern 2 poem plz.

Did you listen to the song with it...?
Most All of the structure comes from the song; that's where this...It goes to Mr. Mom (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PokBAxtvW4) by Lonestar
...comes in. :pink_wink:

Ryan you just hate venonats.

But srsly. Awful grammarz aside. I loved it, reminded me of a cheesy 90s rap.

As for the "Awful grammarz" I just needed some lines to fit.
They aren't perfect fits mind you, I just had to bend the pieces a little so the puzzle could be finished. ha ha

Yes!! That's all I was really going for anyway; I didn't expect it to go double platinum or anything.

txteclipse
September 3rd, 2009, 02:13 AM
If the pokerap were funnier (and country), it would probably resemble this. There were a few lines here and there that could have used some work (the last two spring readily to mind), but I was laughing by the end.

Daydream
September 3rd, 2009, 02:47 AM
This was really enjoyable and very funny. xD Teh awfull grammer fit in with the style of the song.

Natty might be something you would steal

Something about this bit doesn't seem right? Maybe rather than you would you could have you'd wanna ? Just a suggestion but otherwise I really liked it. =D

SkythurBathandBeyond151
September 3rd, 2009, 05:49 PM
If the pokerap were funnier (and country), it would probably resemble this. There were a few lines here and there that could have used some work (the last two spring readily to mind), but I was laughing by the end.

This was really enjoyable and very funny. xD Teh awfull grammer fit in with the style of the song.



Something about this bit doesn't seem right? Maybe rather than you would you could have you'd wanna ? Just a suggestion but otherwise I really liked it. =D

Yeah by the very end of the song I had gotten tired but I still wanted to finish so I just threw something in there.

If I was to rewrite it, I probably wouldn't even stay with the stealing thing; it doesn't really fit in with the rest.