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Gymnotide
September 3rd, 2009, 04:05 PM
Gavinu told me to write some poultry, so I did.

[css-div="width:400px;border:1px solid black;background-color:white;background:url('http://images2.layoutsparks.com/1/91606/fairy-dance-grey-abstract.jpg');padding:20px;"]Poetri
Tickle me pink, you mischievous beast,
and zlerp the falschine plork.
Enfargle me with rafflesplacks and
Arfenzahl in tarph.

Channel through me your if-and-alls
And so-and-so's and cats-and-dogs...
But do it carefully and don't
Scribbling on the wall at colors such as
Tesfolange, esquily sarkeening the rhaahz
Xephishka in g'larlalral, komwetering the kwarfic phlaourqke.

Hence is hence hence, hence poetry,
Hence hence. Mind the "of" corridors,
Deepest the Through resounds
It, granting Sense to the lacisnesnoN.

People of sensible most,
The even overtake to shift and warp

Can that weapon
Language is a
Nevolzezvilkveskchol that ecreip's hguorht eht thgin.

And poetry is hence poetry and hence "hence poetry,"
hence hence poetry is hence poetry hence hence
hence hence hence poetry hence...[/css-div]

bit.trip void
September 4th, 2009, 01:56 AM
your poultry is so damn tasty

Thats really awesome, nice words.

Gold warehouse
September 5th, 2009, 01:24 PM
What is this I don't even...
As far as I can tell, this has no meaning whatsoever; you've just used random, pointless words and warped grammar to try and seem innovative. Not much else I can say about this.

Gymnotide
September 5th, 2009, 09:10 PM
What is this I don't even...
As far as I can tell, this has no meaning whatsoever; you've just used random, pointless words and warped grammar to try and seem innovative. Not much else I can say about this.

It's a testament to the English language. Also, try reading backwards.

Gold warehouse
September 6th, 2009, 08:49 AM
I'd already noticed that you'd used that in some areas, but it's inconsistent and a lot of these words still make no sense no matter how I read them.

Alli
September 6th, 2009, 11:07 AM
I for one loved it, but I'm just a big fan of random and made up words. Even I'd never delve into something this abstract, but you did a fantastic job.

abnegation
September 6th, 2009, 02:38 PM
I'm sorry Gym but, I have to agree with Vendak.
I told you my opinion on your other poems and this one has the same issues.
Especially putting in backwards meaningless sentences. You need to work on your poetry a little.
I'll expand more on MSN. I haven't had the time to go through it in detail as of yet.

Gymnotide
September 8th, 2009, 06:16 AM
Intention

Since I've once again created something which only I can appreciate, I feel like I need to explain my intentions about this poem. First off, the poem was intended to have a triple-false duality about it. It's supposed to be deceptively complex to begin with, then deceptively simple, then deceptively complex again, covering a rather simple theme -- a tribute to the English language, using complex and hard to understand methods. At first glance, the poem contains little meaning. In the first stanza, the reader is immediately bombarded with a random string of words, which while grammatically correct, has little to no meaning. The first stanza also sets up the metrical flow of the rest of the poem, in trochaic verse (more or less).

I am also aware that the first stanza may invoke a need for the reader to either (1) take the poem for what it is or (2) completely ignore any "unnecessary" words and only recognize those that they can understand. Both of these are intended, since they are supposed to invoke a desire to go back and try to find meaning within the words, rather than just read each sentence for what it means. The poem is supposed to be cryptic, as the English language can be cryptic.

Word Choice

The message is in the words themselves, not the sentences; even those that make sense. If you read the words shallowly, then there is no meaning to the poem. Likewise, if you take each sentence and decipher it, the meaning is lost as well.

... I guess what I'm trying to say is that you aren't supposed to read them as sentences, but rather as words.

If the reader merely skips over the words, then they may as well skip over the entire poem because, frankly, I value every word in a poem as much as the next. I carefully pick words, not because of how they sound, but because of what they mean in relation to the rest of the poem. If I want to say "remain," but I want it to be something not willed-for, then I will use "linger," or "restrained" if force is involved, or "harried" if I need a more brutish sounding word. I also keep in mind metrical feet and pick words that flow well, as well as paying attention to line-breaks, caesura, and assonance / consonance to make sure the word doesn't just seem misfit. If necessary, I also break form to draw attention to a single word if it's really important. Moreover, I don't pick words just because they sound good.

Even though it may not seem so, I put a lot of work into my word choice in this poem. Some of the things which I wanted to incorporate are the following:

Hard-to-pronounce words, which use a rare combination of letters to make strange sounds; as a measure of the reader's will to read the poem as well as a reference to the fact that English is complex and even idiosyncrasies have their place amongst regular words and phrases. Examples of this are "zlerp," "g'larlalral" (which makes a rather amusing guttural sound if you pronounce it right), etc.

Also in this category are "phlaourqke," which I tried to make the longest monosyllabic word I could think of while still fitting along with the line (I had to go back and change the adjective before it), and "nevolzezvilkveskchol," which at first glance appears to be nigh-impossible to pronounce due to its length and incorporation of strange letters (but after really trying to read it, end up being rather melodic; thereby reflecting a quality of the English language itself).

Hard-to-achieve transitions, like "falschine plork," which goes straight from a soft word to a hard stress, to slow the reader down, since I'm a total postmodern jerk.

Anapestic words, because I absolutely love them. They are there for rhythm, even though they break the meter. These are "tesfolange" and "xephishka." These words also help establish a line-pair between their respective lines (as they are both members of the second series of nonsensical lines); both of the words share the short-e and f sounds and have the same meter.

Assonant / Consonant word-pairs which I cannot live without. These are "enfargle" and "rafflesplacks," which are assonant about the a sound and consonant about the f and r sounds, "kwarfic" and "phlaourqke" which are assonant about the a sound and consonant about the k, f, r, and hard-c sounds, in an inversion of the first three, but sharing the final sound, "tesfolange" and "esquily" (which I used just for the reference to the qu sound), which are consonant about the s and l sounds.

Backwards words, "lacisnesnon" (i.e. nonsensical) as a pair with "sense" as well as a demonstration of how some words can sound melodic backwards, while others "ecreip's hguorht eht thgin," are nearly impossible to read and sound terrible; as a show of the diversity of words.

Variable parts-of-speech; I tried to incorporate a nonsense word of each part-of-speech for completion's sake.

Most of the currently aforementioned are mainly tributes to specific instances of special things within the English language itself, as well as implements to aid (and sometimes purposely impede) the flow and beat of the poem as a whole.

Grammatically, I tried to implement the following:

Idiosyncratic grammar / sentences, to also show the importance of grammar.

Grammatically correct English sentence that has no significant meaning to be compared to a grammatically incorrect English sentence that has arguably more meaning, to counterexample the previous.

Grammatically correct nonsensical sentence that has no meaning, to show the symbiosis between vocabulary and grammar.

Grammatically correct sentence flipped backwards, but still remaining grammatically correct, but having no significant meaning (either way, frankly), as a play on the versatility of the English language.

Words that belong in multiple sentences, as another show of the diversity of the language.

- - - - -

Furthermore, what I tried to do here was give meaning to nonsensical words and use them to convey my thoughts about the English language... Because, even though words are powerful, sometimes they aren't even necessary.

Otherwise, the poem was just supposed to be whimsical and bright, as my return party to poetry; mainly to reintroduce myself to the proper mechanics and as to help me practice some duality. I had fun writing this poem, and even if it didn't hit it off as "popular," I still like it for what it is.

@AbnegavinuZ

I went back to our MSN conversation, btw.
I didn't properly address you at that time because I was distracted :P & we still haven't talked about this poem in particular yet.

(5:52 PM) Abnegation <Gavi: Okay okay I see, you focus too much on using we'll say.. more complex words. Seriously it's good to know you like the english language well but poetry doesn't need to be as complex you know?

(5:55 PM) Abnegation <Gavi: Oh yeah that's understandable but you don't need to look for the most impressive word out there. It works sometimes, I do it but don't pack your poetry with complex words you know?

If you were referencing "Nepenthe," (since I think you said so in the conversation too) then the word choice was intended to be advanced because it was a mirror of Dickinsonian poetry (which I absolutely love). That poem in particular uses the classic iambic 8-6-8-6-8-6 upbeat rhythm that Dickinson uses, but also speaks of dire things like she did herself. tbh, I don't really see my vocabulary choices as too steep on the other poems.

If a word seems like it's large and impressive, it's because of what it means (as well as the fact that a lot of big words have amazing stress patterns). I'm a huge sucker for duality, and a lot of bigger words I like have so many different meanings. Then there's also the fact that I usually pick words based on preference. I really like the words I used in "Abandonment," e.g. "thrall," "osseous," "brimstone" (which tbh, was a maniacal idea because melted brimstone looks like blood while gaseous brimstone looks like an ignis fatui like in the poem :P), "ensiferous," "dirge," etc. because I just like those words and I use them on a daily (fine, weekly... Or biweekly) basis anyway. I like to make the poems a part of myself, after all XD

I also have an old Dickinson poem I liked and want to post up... Later.

(6:01 PM) Abnegation <Gavi: Hmm I can see that, I would advise reading modern poetry and writing some sonnets

I'm not much for modern poetry, but I'm going to be reading that stuff in class this year anyway : /
I'll still stick to the old-school like I do now.

I may write a sonnet, though; but probably not. I'm more in the mood for free-form lately.

Za, I have to go to school : \

Esper
September 11th, 2009, 04:58 AM
I got a real kick out of reading your thoughts on word choice, more so than from reading the poetri itself. The end brought up memories of Gertrude Stein and I'm not a fan of her.

Spearow
September 13th, 2009, 11:51 AM
"I use the language, it does not use me."

:o