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Mika
September 22nd, 2009, 06:18 PM
author's note
one shot [?] written because Audy's MEAN. ;_; rated m for crazy people, attempted suicide and all around wtf. read and review <3 hope you like it? It's a parody of ghost stories.

Few bits of information:

the gurl was done on purpose
Erik = Ursula
Matt = Arioku or w/e the hell his username is now
Audy = Audy

yarn

One morning, Annie woke up in her sunny dorm room and started to get ready for a long day’s worth of classes. She changed out of her pjamas and slipped into a pair of jeans and a tshirt. She took three steps outside and decided it was too cold to go out in such meager clothing and she wandered back into her dorm to select some sort of outerwear to protect her from the cold. She opened up her closet and reached for her favorite highschool sweatshirt when she spied something behind the majority of her sweatshirts that she hadn’t seen before. She pushed aside the tshirts and the skirts and the dress shirts and the pants and pulled it out. It was hooded grey and purple sweater with a hood that zipped up in front. It was soft to the touch but as she continued to pet it she was trying to remember where on earth it was she’d gotten it. It matched her brown hair and blue eyes almost to a t and against her creamy skin, it looked absolutely stunning. But, for the life of her, she couldn’t remember where she’d gotten it.

She went around, after her classes that day, the city her college was located in for several hours, looking at stores trying to figure out where she’d gotten this sweater. The store clerks, some of whom had worked in their respective stores for years, had never seen anything like it before and a couple of them asked if she remembered, would she tell them they wanted to buy one. She left, puzzled, and returned to her dorm.

Two days later, as she walked into her first class, she noticed that the boy she sat next to in the large lecture room was wearing the same sweater in a slightly larger size. He’d never worn it before, she was certain of that, and she decided, after a half hour, that she was going to ask him where he’d purchased it. She reached out a hand and nervously tugged on his sleeve.

“Excuse me, Bill? Where’d you get that sweatshirt?”

“This? I’ve had this since my freshmen year of highschool. My mom bought it at Target. It’s my favorite.”

They were two months into classes by this point and she’d sat by him three times a week since they’d started. She’d never seen him wear it.

“No, that can’t be right, you’ve never worn it before.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, “Are you feeling okay?! I’ve worn this sweatshirt every day for the past three weeks because it got colder out. Are you feeling okay? You don’t have swine flu do you?” he laughed, patting her head and went back to taking notes.

She settled back into her chair, confused as to what had just happened. Every day? But she’d never seen it before. And it was the same one as hers. She’d gone to Target and asked the woman there, but she’d been told by the woman who had worked there for almost twenty years, that this sort of thing had never been in style and they’d never carried something like it, especially not in unisex styles.

She brushed it off for two weeks and went about her work.

Two weeks later, in that same class, she noticed four more people wearing the same sweater. Another week, almost twenty people had the same sweater on. This time, when she asked a couple of them where they had purchased the sweater, they said different stores. Each of those stores had no recollection of this particular sweater. It was starting to scare her. More and more, more people were starting to show up in that sweater.

On top of this, she started to dream with the sweater in her dreams. One time, she tripped walking to class. The sweater got stuck on the railing and it strangled her. Another time, the sleeves got caught in a shredder and cut deeply into her hands. A third dream? She was working in the university dining center and she got too close to the broiler and caught herself on hot greasy based fire. The more time passed, the more people were wearing the sweater and the more graphic and realistic the dreams became.

Annie woke up one morning in a cold sweat and decided to get rid of the sweater once and for all. She took it off the hanger and she shoved it in the bottom of the pressing room trash bin and piled on five bags of garbage ontop of it. She went to her classes thinking she was free of the sweater. When she came home, it was lying on her bed, completely clean without a trace of any garbage on it.

She was scared. She yanked it off the bed and shoved it into the pit of her roommate’s closet which was full of beer cases and dirty clothes and old food and went to bed. When she woke up, she was wearing the sweater.

Annie ripped it off and bit her lip to prevent herself from screaming. She hung it up in the closet and went to her second class of the day. This class just happened to be oral communications. It was a required class where they had to, at this particular time in the semester, a project based on a media they really liked. The girl who was speaking today was doing her project on the hit TV show Supernatural and the characters were discussing how the only way they’d be able to stop the haunting and stop the killing would be to salt and burn any remains of the person. Annie couldn’t remember anything else in that class that day but she went to the library and logged onto to the internet. After searching, she found out that according to the Supernatural Fanbase, her sweater was possessed by a ghost. If she found the ghost’s remains, she’d be freed from the sweater’s curse. Annie wasn’t the smartest girl on the block, she was an Elementary Education Major after all, and she took this to mean she had to set the sweater on fire. So, that night, she went to the field outside her dorm with a can of gasoline, a lock of her roommate Matt’s hair, a can of his favorite Axe Body Spray and a Hello Kitty Lighter. She put the sweater down, soaked it in gasoline, put the lock of hair on the edge and sprayed the axe spray, catching it on fire with the lighter. The flames attached to the sweater and in thirty minutes, there was a barren patch of grass in the middle of the award winning field and the sweater was no more.

Annie slept that night, better than she had in years.

Now, Annie doesn’t have the world’s best vision. She wears contacts, and because she is a poor college student who lives on ramen, she buys disposable contacts to avoid having to buy cleaning solution. The night she burned the sweater, the smoke got in her eye and tainted the contacts so she threw them out. The next morning, she wandered into the common room and Matt, who was sitting on the couch watching America’s Next Top Model, gave her a head shake

“Annie gurl, that sweater is so trashy and unfabulous. I thought I told you to get rid of it.”

Annie looked down, and noticed that she was wearing the sweater.

She shrieked, ripping it off and ran into the other room, only to look down and see that it was once again on her person. After three more failed attempts, she curled up in the closet, sobbing hysterically, trying to get the thing off her body. Matt tried to coax her out and managed to get the girl out and sitting on the couch with a cup of tea. He whispered on the phone to his RA, Audy Lanvaldear, who said if she didn’t calm down soon, they’d call a bus to take her to the hospital.

But while he was in the other room, Annie took things into her own hands.

She wandered to the window of their third story apartment dorm and opened the window. If the sweater wouldn’t come off, she’d force it off. She wasn’t intending on jumping, she was just going to throw it out the window. But somehow, someway, the sweater got tangled around her wrist and she fell along after it, hitting the ground hard.

She opened her eyes two weeks later, as the snow was falling outside, the first snow of the year.

“A-ah! D-d-doctor Destler! T-t-the patient, she’s-“

“I have eyes gurl, I can see she’s awake.” The petite male stepped around next to her, doing the normal doctor things before he pulled back, “You took a hard fall. You’re at the hospital. Do you remember anything?”

She shook her head, which made her wince in pain.

“You have a concussion. I don’t recommend moving.”

She nodded softly.

“now, I know the room’s a bit chilly, would you like a blanket? You’re only in a hospital gown.”

She looked down, confused, because she was still wearing the perfect sweater that was covered in her dried blood. “B-but I’m wearing a sweater-“ her voice cracked, tears streaming down her cheeks.

The doctor turned, a concerned look on his face. “What sweater?”

Bay Alexison
September 22nd, 2009, 11:01 PM
She shrieked, ripping it off and ran into the other room, only to look down and see that it was once again on her person.
Not sure why you put “person.” Sentence sounds awkward like that.

Have to say, this is an interesting piece you have there. Hehe, a sweater, huh? Interesting you use that item as the concept for your ghost parody. :P I especially love the end where the doctors asks, “What sweater?” Nice twist there.

Hm, one thing is even though you did “gurl” on purpose, that saying still bugs me for some reason. ^^;

Another thing is some parts of the story I think you could have showed more than tell and give more depth and emotions to the characters. For instance:

She shrieked, ripping it off and ran into the other room, only to look down and see that it was once again on her person. After three more failed attempts, she curled up in the closet, sobbing hysterically, trying to get the thing off her body. Matt tried to coax her out and managed to get the girl out and sitting on the couch with a cup of tea. He whispered on the phone to his RA, Audy Lanvaldear, who said if she didn’t calm down soon, they’d call a bus to take her to the hospital.
This scene I feel you can expand a bit, especially with Matt trying to coax Annie. For instance, Matt’s feelings when Annie talked about not able to rid of the sweater. That scene could also develop more of the purple sweater mystery. :P

Overall like the parody here. You could have expand the emotions on some parts, though. I know this story doesn’t need to be filled with terajerkers and such, but I thought a couple scenes you could have show, not tell. That’s just me, though.

Misheard Whisper
October 9th, 2009, 02:12 PM
OMG it's the sweater. (I can't escape the damn sweater. I know how Annie feels.)

It's really kinda creepy, though . . . good story, overall. Like Bay said, could have done with a bit more depth, but definitely not bad at all.