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BMF-Arceus
October 12th, 2009, 01:45 PM
Chapter 1
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The wind rustled in the leafs territory,as voices arose from over 100 towns.As a little creature was born, it was green,with a red stoumach. It as an unloved being,being left after birth.This world obviously despised him,slapping sorrow into his puny,yet growing mind. He wondered so much about his little green and red siblings,and the one who had put him into this tradgic world,his mom. Humans were long gone,they died due to the lack of the the liquid that puts them in awe,water.How did the creatures live? They found water,while the non-genius species,the humans,paniced and gave up on there lives,like it was a twig that snapped off a beautiful red oak.His fingers,imune to the feeling of freindship,wondered on,in the living forest.His group,is called Poke'mon. In Ancient times,them and Human's used to work together,till the Humans died. Now Poke'mon have conquered this large and cruel land.Humans could only here Lapras,lap,la,or whatever the Poke'mons name is. But they are speaking English,it's just that the Human and Poke'mons brains are quite different,so the poor Humans couldn't comprehend there speakings. This baby Poke'mon new,for he is not like most baby's,he is quite special. He seems to know things by the strange flashbacks he gets,if you wanna call them that. He have seem many Poke'mon,but he longed to know his species. It was staring right at him,another one of him,a Treecko.

Astinus
October 13th, 2009, 09:15 PM
This needs a lot of clean-up done to it. I mean a lot. Grammar is shaky at best, there's no description at all (I was really really confused when I read this), there's no good idea as to what this is about.

Read the rules of this section, the stickied writing guide, and brush up on the rules of writing. Maybe even read other fanfics to see how things work.

Closed for not meeting the standards of this section.