View Full Version : [Pokémon] Rise of a Ranger
October 19th, 2009, 03:51 PM
I decided to post this - for those of you who like OC adventures in Kanto - and those who don't really that much - careful, it's long. I already wrote a lot of it!
Chapter 1 – A firey start!
One morning, a blond 10 year old boy was awoken by what was obviously quite a large crowd outside his bedroom window. Rubbing his blue eyes, he silently cursed them all and sat up in his bed. He looked around his small, simply laid out room. Nothing had changed: the same boring beige curtains, the same boring dark green duvet and the same gray walls with the only added decoration being a simple desk which, as usual, was filled with a chaos of papers, pencils, scissors and empty wrappers of his addiction: chocolate. Above his desk was a framed picture of his parents and himself as a baby. The young boy had no memory of his parents, who had come to Pallet Town a long time ago from their mountainous homeland, Osutaria, and died in a car crash barely a week before his first birthday. As if on cue, his adoptive mother, Mary, called from downstairs.
“Mo! Time for breakfast! Today is an exciting day!”
Not for me, thought Mo sarcastically. He already knew what the ruckus outside was about: all the other 10 year olds in town would be leaving on their journey. “In a minute!” He shouted, so that he could watch from his window as the gathered crowd cheered outside Professor Oak's lab.
The reason for their cheering was quickly evident: Garry Oak had just come outside. I'll be cheering your departure too, he mused, and as he was about to go downstairs, he saw a boy in pajamas running up the street. That'll be Ash. Typical Ash, always late and in a rush. At least he hadn't been nasty to him at school, unlike Garry, who had constantly mocked his poverty and had been insufferable in his boasting at leaving on his traditional adventure. If only I had the money! He sulked down the stairs, but put on his best smile for Mary. She really had tried her hardest to protect Mo from life. So much so that he'd led quite an isolated life from the others, only ever meeting them at school. The only friends he could really count were Professor Oak, who had always been astonishingly kind to him, and the Pokemon he looked after for the professor to make a bit of pocket money. Looked after was exaggerated: he just played with them, was the test subject for Oak to make sure they would be ready for their journey with an unknown child. Mo had quite a few burns where Charmanders had attacked him, although he'd never had any trouble with a Squirtle or Bulbasaur. Which of course meant that Mo's dream was to have a fire Pokemon
“Good morning Mo! How are you feeling today?”
“Oh, great, Mum, really. Absolutely fantastic. I mean, I get to stay here instead of going on a great adventure! What is there NOT to like about today?”
“I'm sorry, but you'll see: everything will work out just fine eventually.” She smiled, and Mo noticed, but he couldn't be bothered to follow it up. No doubt she had, like always, found a silver lining to the cloud. He was about to eat his apple when the videophone rang.
“I'll get it!” he said, and jogged to the desk.
“Hey there Mo! It's me!” said Professor Oak's mouth, which was obviously far too close to the camera. He moved back. “Ahem, I was hoping it would be you! I need you to come here as soon as you can. It is a matter of great importance. Tell Mary the time has come, she'll understand.”
“But...” It was too late, Oak had hung up. Of course, he understood now: some of the other kids in town must have had the same job as him. Finally, he could earn more money! Not enough to go on his own adventure though...
Doubtlessly Mum's silver lining. Actually, this was great news: he could finally afford to at least own a Pokemon Mary had promised him that he could keep one at home if he looked after it, which included paying for its food and upkeep.
He did as he was told. Told his mother it was time, got dressed and leisurely skipped up the street to the lab. Mo marveled at its sheer hugeness. He always loved coming here: lots of interesting people and, most of all, lots of interesting Pokemon to play with! The gate opened before he could ring the bell – obviously, Oak was keen to see him. Unwilling to let the professor wait much longer and risk the possibility of losing his new-found job, Mo ran up the path and through the door into the professor's living room. In the room were Oak, his adoptive father Dave and an important-looking man Mo had never met before. The important-looking man said to Dave:
“Now if you'll just sign here.... and here... and here... that's me done! It was a pleasure finally meeting Mark and Janet's friends. Really, it was. These papers have been laying here for nearly 10 years!” And with that, he stood up, winked at Mo and walked out. Mark and Janet? What have my parents got to do with this?
“Come here Mo, have a seat. This is important.” Once again, Mo did as he was told.
“Who was that man?” Mo asked, and his father and Oak looked at each other with a knowing smile.
“This was Joe, an old friend of me and your parents'” explained Dave. “He has officially recognized your inheritance as transferable.”
“My inheritance?” asked Mo, flabbergasted. He didn't know of anything that his parents had left him other than the picture. Everything else had been sold to enable Dave and Mary to look after him. “But what for?” Mo finally asked.
“You see, all parents have to make a testament as soon as they have their child.” started Dave “and yours were no different. They started a fund for you when you were born, which has slowly grown over the last ten years. They wanted you to get the money when you were old enough to go on your own adventure, just as they had in their old country. But they wanted you to have yours here”.
Mo let these facts sink in. My own adventure?
Oak continued for Dave: “Your parents were good friends of mine, and valued assistants to my work. I was very sad when they were taken from us, and they made me promise to look after you if anything happened to them.” Oak paused, before quickly adding “not that their work was particularly dangerous, but they just wanted to be sure. I hope I have helped you in these last couple of years. You have, in fact, helped me by showing such promise in your interactions with Pokemon It seems you have their gift.”
“But why didn't you tell me any of this” Mo managed to get out, straining not to explode with rage.
“Simple: we thought it would make a great surprise for today!” Oak beamed. A great surprise?! Are they out of their mind? “Now Mo, it is my understanding that your dream is to, eventually at least, become a Pokemon ranger?”
“The greatest of all time!” He said, his spirits lifted. Slowly, he understood that he too would be leaving to become a trainer and, one day, a ranger. Tears of joy started forming around his eyes, but he managed to stop them from flowing.
“Now, I have something special for you. Not the usual starter Pokemon a young trainer gets. You have vastly more experience than the others in handling Pokemon, and I know you have a special liking for Pokemon who are able to breathe fire.” Oak looked at Mo's small scars. Mo started to feel self-conscious, he realized he didn't exactly look the part: old clothes, taken from family friends who didn't need them anymore. Any strain and they'd probably fall apart.
“Mo, you must understand that we have done everything in our power to give you a complete upbringing and turn you into a decent young man. Please, allow us to give you a final bit of help. Come home when the professor has finished with you. There'll be a surprise waiting!” With that, Dave walked out.
Mo looked at Oak, Oak looked at Mo. A short moment passed, until finally Mo could take it no more: “What Pokemon will I be getting then?” he asked. Oak chuckled, stood up and told him to follow. They walked through the room with rows and rows books where the three free famous empty pokeballs were set out on a table, and there were signs of some sort of fire on the floor.
“Trouble with Ash's Pokemon”, laughed Oak as he took out a key and opened a locked safe. In it was an unremarkable-looking pokeball. “Now this Pokemon is special. You have to promise to me to take good care of it, no matter what happens. Is that understood?”
“Yes sir”. Mo barely managed to whisper.
“This Pokemon does not exist in the Kanto region. It has been imported from Johto, and was one of your father's favorites. I feel it is only appropriate for me to give you this new arrival, who hatched barely a day ago. It seems fate has decided to pair you together. Are you ready?” Oak looked at Mo, who just nodded in disbelief. He couldn't believe this was happening! Before he could gather his thoughts, Oak pressed the pokeball into his hand. “Then press the release button”. Oak smiled as Mo squeezed. Come out come out whatever you are...
Mo stared. He hadn't ever seen anything like it, or quite so cute! He knew they would get on fanta-
“AAAARGH!” Mo and Oak shouted at the same time as sparks engulfed them both for a split second. Mo looked at the now black Oak, who looked a the singed Mo.
“Not again! I'll have to get changed for the third time today!” he complained. The Pokemon seemed to ignore the fact that it had just burned them and ran happily around Mo, yapping in what was clearly joy, as well as giving the odd lick and nip where it felt it could get a reaction.
“This is Houndour” explained Oak “a combination dark and fire Pokemon. You may not see it, but this is a fiercely loyal Pokemon once it respects its master. Of course, it doesn't know either of us yet and barely knows humans as a whole, but he is going to be an invaluable companion on your trip”.
Yeah, sure. Look at him. Why does professor Oak hate me? Wondered Mo. “Don't worry, everything will be alri-” Little bits of flame engulfed the two once more, and Mo put Houndour back into its Pokeball. “Probably a wise idea for now Mo, wait until you are out of town before letting him out again. He could cause considerable damage to my lab. Let's go to my office.”
Mo followed, thinking more and more that his journey was going certainly not going to have a dull moment if Houndour was anything to go by. Oak gave him a Pokedex and five pokeballs, and wished him all the best. Mo thanked him, gave him a hug (which surprised Oak somewhat) and ran home. Which wasn't exactly far. He opened the door, and Dave and Mary were sitting in the kitchen, crying and laughing. Mo asked them what was wrong, but they said they were just proud. “We just hope you won't forget us. Here, come with us, you were told there would be a surprise.” Firstly, they'd both been sharing a bottle of wine they gave to Mo freely. Secondly, something just wasn't right...
They all walked to Mo's room. On his bed were some brand new clothes: real jeans without holes in them, plenty of underpants and socks, a load of shirts and jumpers, as well as a raincoat. What caught Mo's eyes, however, weren't immediately any of these things. It was the black fingerless gloves that were lying on top of the pile. They seemed old and worn, yet in excellent condition. He tried them on. They felt great!
“These were your father's” said Dave. “He always said he wanted you to have them when you go on your adventure.” Mo welled up a little, but was overjoyed. Soon he was packed and ready to leave.
“What Pokemon did you get?” asked Mary.
“A baby Houndour.” answered Mo, and took the pokeball out of his pocket. Mary and Dave jumped back, covered their faces in anticipation and screamed “NOOOO!”
“That Professor Oak! Very clever guy, but somewhat silly at times. He was right in telling you it was one of your father's favorites. At least you won't need to spend any money on matches! Not that that's a problem now. Remember: be careful what you spend and you can keep doing this for years! We love you as our own son, you know? And don't forget to come visit from time to time! Change your underwear every day! Eat healthily! Call us as often as you can! Learn everything you can and don't be evil! Most of all though: please, have fun.”
“I will, you are my parents now. I will always love you!” Said Mo has he marched off with his rucksack, off into the sunset. And with his head held up high and his hopes equally as elevated, Mo decided he would achieve at least one thing no other had before.
That was Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 coming right up in the same post!
Chapter 2 – The beginning of a bond
After walking for an hour and being well outside the town's limits, Mo decided to let his Houndour out.
“Come on out Houndour!” he shouted, and sure enough there he appeared in a flash of red. Houndour was obviously happy to see him. So happy, in fact, that he immediately used ember on him. “Ow! No Houndour! You can't do that to everyone! It hurts!”. Houndour looked sad, and Mo immediately felt guilty at losing his patience so quickly. Maybe if I just played with him... thought Mo, and picked up a stick. He threw it far away and Houndour immediately ran after it, picked it up, and coughed some flames on it. The stick crumbled apart in ash when Mo tried to pick it up. Houndour then ran back to Mo for more. Not such a good idea – what'll happen when we enter Viridian Forest? It's full of sticks!
“Houndour, I'm sorry but we're going to have to find another game”. The Pokemon looked disappointed, and used ember on Mo again. It seemed to snigger, and Mo lost his temper once more: “Stop it stop it stop it stop it! Pah! You're insufferable!” And with that, he put a whimpering Houndour back into its pokeball.
Mo grumbled and mumbled: “Stupid Pokemon, stupid professor Oak, stupid traditional adventure, stupid everything!” when he suddenly stopped. Far across the plain, he could see a huge swarm of flying Pokemon chasing something at high speed.
I wonder what that's all about...Oh well, it's too far away to worry about, and I have my own troubles. He took out the pokeball. Maybe I was a little harsh on him. I'll let him out again. And with that, he pressed the button once more. Houndour was about to fire its embers again but Mo managed to shout “Stop!” at it in time. It didn't fire. Mo was very pleased, and showed it:
“At last! You didn't burn me! Very good! Good Houndour! Come here you...” Mo laughed and stroked Houndour, who seemed to be enjoying the attention. However, it hadn't not fired on Mo because of his order; much rather seen something in the plaoin that attracted its attention. It gave a low yap looking at it, and Mo turned his gaze.
Something was moving in that bush. Out came a rather weak-looking pidgey, and as it saw Mo and Houndour it just stared at them, before fluttering away. Houndour barked after it, but Mo calmed him down. Then Houndour used ember on Mo. Exasperated, Mo put Houndour back into his pokeball again.
As it got dark and clouds started to gather, Mo set up camp. Once he had set up his tent to be fire- and waterproof, he got to work on lighting his camp fire. But it was too windy.
Darn it! I'm going to need Houndour... Okay, no worries, this shouldn't be too difficult. Absolutely untrue to his words, Houndour came out and started running around like a child full of sugar. He obviously felt a bit cramped in the pokeball. He was yapping happily, sniffing about, and generally ignoring Mo's “COME RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW” shouts. Eventually, Mo just shouted, “Houndour, ember on that pile of wood!”. Houndour pricked up its ears, looked at mo and the wood, and fired in that general direction. Most of it hit Mo, but some of it reached the wood, and the fire flared up almost instantly. Well, it's a start! Thought Mo, slightly depressed. He decided to put Houndour back into his pokeball again. He made a tin of ravioli that Mary had packed for him. It was far too large for him alone, so he let Houndour out when he was done cooking and gave him a half. Houndour ate his food and had such a huge belly by the end that he could barely move. When he walked, it looked more like he was dragging his fat corpse to wherever he was going.
“Oops, I gave you a bit much there huh? Sorry” Houndour gave a content snort. “Not that you seem to mind.” And with that, they went to sleep, and Mo didn't even put Houndour in his pokeball.
That was a mistake: after all, they were inside the tent, and the ravioli had given Houndour some terrible gas. It stinks of death in here, thought Mo when he woke up with tears in his eyes. Houndour didn't seem to mind, and woke Mo up in a flash with a bit of ember. “Hey Houndour, thanks but can you stop doing that? It really isn't nice.” Houndour seemed to ignore him. The dog-like Pokemon was more concerned with what seemed to be a new arrival: a Rattata scrounging for food around the tent. Houndour chased it around a bit.
“Hey Houndour! Leave that poor Rattata alone! It hasn't done anything to us!”. Eventually Rattata turned around and nipped Houndour on the nose, which caused it to yelp in pain and hide behind Mo.
“Hey! Rattata that was unnecessary too! I don't need a Pokemon with that attitude!”.
But it didn't understand him and just scurried away. “Don't worry Houndour, one day you'll be big and tough and you won't need to worry about the likes of him.” Mo's words seemed to console Houndour, and he sniffed around in the grass while Mo packed his things. Mo thought about putting Houndour back into its Pokeball, but decided against it, preferring to let Houndour follow him around. They made their way towards Viridian, with Mo wondering what they would do there. It was a rather dull afternoon, and Mo ate an apple as they walked.
Suddenly, right in the middle of the path, they saw an odd-looking Pokemon with large ears and what seemed to be barbs sticking out of it. They froze, and so did the Pokemon. After a short moment, Mo said to Houndour:
“Okay, I think we should catch him. He looks pretty tough too don't you think?” Houndour growled in agreement, and immediately fired ember into the female Nidoran's direction. She got hit by some of them, but Mo was busy yelling at Houndour “What are you doing? Only do something when I tell you too!”.
Houndour looked sad, but then barked as the Nidoran made its escape.
“Oh man! Now look what you've done!” Moaned Mo, but secretly, he was happy that his Pokemon hadn't hit him with the ember. “Okay Houndour, let's go looking for some more of those guys!” and so they strayed off the path, with Houndour sniffing around. There were holes everywhere, and as Mo's Pokedex explained: these were the dens of a colony of Nidorans! Soon enough, Houndour started barking down into a hole. Out barged a rather large looking male Nidoran, striking Houndour with its tip, causing him to fly backward.
Mo shouted “Now Houndour, Ember!” and Houndour fired a volley at the Nidoran. It was a direct hit which caused it to fly back and land on its stomach, and Mo basked in the awesomeness of what had just happened. I can't lose this one! “Go pokeball!” The pokeball bounced off the top of the Nidoran, who was clearly weakened, and opened, sucking the Pokemon inside. The next seconds were tense, as the ball rocked from side to side, Nidoran not willing to give up its freedom.
Chapter 3 – Poison Surprise!
Come on, come on. Please let this be it! Suddenly, the ball stopped rocking and gave an audible 'ping'.
“Alright Houndour! We got him!” Shouted Mo and turned to Houndour. But Houndour was dizzily rocking from side to side, looking for somewhere to fall over.
“What's wrong Houndour?” he asked, and he took his Pokedex out. “Nidoran, the poison pin Pokemon. It is small, but its horn is filled with poison. It charges then stabs with the horn to inject poison.”
“Oh No! I don't have any antidote with me! What am I going to do? I'll have to get to Viridian city as quickly as possible!” Houndour collapsed, and closed its eyes. “Come on Houndour, I'm sorry! I didn't know!”
Tears were streaming down Mo's face as he picked him up. He pocketed Nidoran's pokeball and started running in the direction of Viridian with the rabbit in his arms. I can't let anything happen to Houndour. I promised the professor I'd take care of him! Now look what I've done!
Obviously, after a couple of miles Mo couldn't run anymore, so he started walking at a brisk pace and put Houndour into his pokeball – it really was easier. He was nearing Viridian, he could already see it! This spurned him on, when out of nowhere jumped a rather tall lad with thick black eyebrows and black hair.
“Stop! You're a new trainer, I can tell! I challenge you to a battle! You have to accept it!”
“I don't have time! My Pokemon is in bad shape and I don't even know where to take it!”
“Aw man! I was hoping to finally have my first battle. Okay, I'll show you where to go. Follow me! The Pokemon Center is this way!”
“Pokemon Center? What's that?”
“It's a place where you can get your Pokemon healed – for free! I've been there quite a lot since I started out.”
And so they walked towards the Pokemon Center, exchanging their names and history.
“I'm Raf, and my starter is Bulbasaur! I call him Saurus though, it sounds way cooler. I chose him because the first two gyms have a disadvantage against grass. I go to the Pokemon school here in Viridian, I mean I come from here so that's normal. I still haven't managed to catch anything though and it's been five days now!”
“Hi my name is Mo and I started yesterday. My starter isn't one of the normal ones, it's a Houndour.”
“A Houndour? Man I saw one on TV once, that's awesome. You're lucky man!”
“Yeah but we have to get to the Pokemon Center, he's been poisoned by a Nidoran!”
“Ha! I know the feeling. Don't worry about it much, that poison isn't too bad and can be healed really quick. Saurus has been poisoned like six times, I've been trying to get a Nidoran, they're really hard to catch.” Relieved at the news that it wasn't a serious poisoning, Mo decided to show off a little.
So he took out the newly used pokeball and said “Alright! Nidoran come out!” and out appeared Nidoran. Raf's jaw seemed to touch the floor.
“How long did you say you've been a trainer? This is your second day and you already got a Nidoran? That is SO unfair!”
Nidoran ran up to Mo and brushed its side on his legs. It obviously liked him, and Mo stroked it. “Yeah, I think I got myself another friend fairly quickly, huh?”. Raf was obviously impressed and it made Mo feel better at his utter failure to take care of Houndour.
Soon after, they arrived at the Pokemon Center in Viridian City. Nurse Joy seemed to be busy. “Please boys, be a little patient. I have a very seriously injured Pikachu to heal. It'll be about 15 minutes until your Pokemon are healed. And Raf, you again? You really should take better care of Saurus.”
“But I-” She tutted and walked away with the three Pokemon.
“Okay man thanks a lot, I need to call home now. See you soon!” and with that Mo went to call home. “It's a disaster Mum! Houndour already got poisoned once!”
“Don't worry about it kid! I'm shocked you even made it to Viridian so fast. Some of the best future trainers take days! And you've already caught your first Pokemon! Amazing! I can't wait to hear more from your adventure. By the way, I heard there's a day-course at the Viridian Pokemon school tomorrow – maybe you should go? They'll teach you some of the basics you need. Bye bye! Love you”. And that was it, until Mo decided to call Professor Oak:
“Hey there professor! I'm in Viridian!”
“Already? Well, that is somewhat astonishing. How's Houndour?” Mo explained what had happened, but Oak didn't seem to be overly worried either. “Oh, hang on, I have what seems to be an important call coming from Ash. Please, he wouldn't put the urgent signal on it if it weren't. All the best of luck my young friend!” With that, Mo got up and walked back to the desk, where Raf was already waiting.
“Your Houndour is beautiful and very rare in these parts Mo! Take good care of it and watch out: there's a gang of Pokemon snatchers who'd be all too pleased to take it away from you! Remember the faces on these wanted postes! Nidoran is fine too, as is Raf's Bulbasaur.” She nodded disapprovingly at Raf.
“Thanks Nurse Joy” they both said, and headed out. Raf suggested that Mo stay at his house tonight, and Mo agreed. He wanted to enroll in the school the next day and Raf could show him where it was.
“Oh man yes! You're going to school? I'll finally be the coolest guy there!” finally? Thought Mo, but just went with the flow. He didn't consider himself cool either, certainly not as cool as Garry or even, sadly, Ash.
Raf's parents were most welcoming, claiming that it wasn't often that Raf brought back friends. I couldn't have guessed. They made some delicious food and finally, with both of them being very tired, just went to sleep, even for a short while forgetting all about Pokemon.
They were awoken in the middle of the night by a huge explosion, and looked out of the window. There was a huge hole in the Pokemon Center, but Raf's parents forbade them to check it out. Some gangsters had attacked the center in the middle of the night, but been beaten off. Phew, that was lucky for us then too. That Pokemon must have been really powerful that beat them off! But Mo quickly went back to sleep.
The Pokemon school wasn't that far away from Raf's place, and that morning they both walked to it with a bounce in their step. Mo let Houndour and Nidoran out of their pokeballs, but warned them that they'd be right back in if they set anything on fire or ran away into the road. Houndour was just happy to see Mo again, and seemed to quite like Raf, judging by the ember he fired on him just before the warning had been made. Mo and Raf were chatting about their dreams. Raf seemed pretty set on becoming a gym leader one day or maybe even a part of the elite 4, and Mo explained his dream to be a Pokemon ranger. This just seemed to make Raf even more of a worshiper. Eventually they arrived at the school.
“It's not exactly as I imagined it” admitted Mo. It was a small house with one classroom.
“Well I know it's not exactly impressive, but the teacher is awesome. She's Miss Peggy, and knows everything about Pokemon battling and training.” Raf seemed pretty eager to show off his school. Before they arrived, Mo put Houndour and Nidoran back in their pokeballs.
As they walked in through the gates, a rather skinny and obviously immensely rich boy, who had two fat, ugly looking kids at his sides, shouted:
“Hey look! Raf's brought a new boyfriend! What a sissy!” his butch friends sniggered. “I wonder – did you accidentally destroy the Pokemon Center yesterday night?” This was obviously hilarious to all the other kids in the courtyard too.
“Why you little-”
“Children! Behave! Time for class! I will not tolerate such disputes.”
Mo was somewhat astonished by the turn of events. Raf really was obviously a bit of a loser, but he didn't mind: he certainly didn't want to have anything to do with that rich kid idiot.
“Who was that?” asked Mo.
“Oh, just the most dirty, arrogant, annoying, evil, scrawny and afraid little git the world has ever seen. He is the bane of my life. I hate Rorie! If it weren't for his protection that he pays for, I would probably have killed him by now”. Raf's face was red with rage.
“Well why don't you battle him? It's an easy way of determining who is better.”
“Yeah but I don't dare – he'd probably beat me up!” Pathetic, thought Mo, but didn't say it.
The morning lessons were in the classroom and somewhat dull, although Mo hadn't yet really grasped the concept of types, so he was pleased to learn about them all. He made a note of avoiding fighting, ground, rock and especially water types with Houndour, and ground and psychic types with Nidoran. I could easily have beaten Raf yesterday if we'd actually been able to battle. The afternoon lessons were what Mo was looking forward to: 'Present your Pokemon'. Basically, everyone had to introduce their Pokemon to the class. Raf and Mo paired up, and watched as each person showed their Pokemon. None of them were from Pallet Town and therefore none of them had received one of Oak's Pokemon They had had to get them from elsewhere. Raf's Bulbasaur was given to him by his uncle who was a Pokemon salesman, others had been given Pokemon by their siblings or parents. Their were a fair few classic easy-to-train ones: Pidgeys, Rattata, Geodudes, a Zubat and lots of bugs. Then Rorie came and showed off his Abra.
“This beast is a psychic Pokemon. It can teleport anywhere it likes! There are no Pokemon here who could possibly beat its psychic power! My daddy trained it for me a little bit too, so it's easily way more powerful than yours.” Everyone clapped, amazed, apart from Mo and Raf. Since Raf had already presented his Pokemon (and gained some respect with his Bulbasaur, it must be said), it was finally Mo's turn.
“Okay, before I let him out, I need everyone to realize that this Pokemon is a fire type who is very young and certainly has never seen as many people as will now surround him.”
“You mean we could all get burned?” asked Rorie, laughing.
“Err, yes. But he's a nice Pokemon really.” Rorie stopped laughing and hid behind his bodyguards.
“The only fire-type around here is Charmander, boring. We saw him last week” continued Rorie “I don't want to see another”
“Ah! But it isn't a Charmander, nor is it even from this region!” Miss Peggy began to take notice – she had been bored out of her mind until then. And she hated that little know-it-all brat Rorie, so it was nice to see him wrong. “My Pokemon is a Houndour from Johto! Go Houndour!” A collective wow erupted from the class, and Raf started shouting:
“he's my friend he's my friend! I showed him where the Pokemon Center is!”.
However, Houndour was terrified of the crowd, but Mo shielded everyone from its ember – which made them even more impressed. Mo hugged Houndour and promised him he'd be OK. Houndour accepted. Soon most kids were stroking him. Miss Peggy gave a slow clap:
“Well well well! That is a most unusual Pokemon you have – especially for a starter. May I ask where you got it from?”
“I'm from Pallet Town, Professor Oak gave it to me! Just like this Pokedex!” The class was beginning to love Mo. He had a Pokedex too! What didn't he have?!
“Interesting. Now kids, this Pokemon evolves into Houndoom, one of the most impressive, in my view, Pokemon in the world. If Mo here takes care of his Houndour, I'm sure he will be very successful. Okay, that's it for today class!” With that, everyone cheered again, lifting Mo up on their shoulders. A bit over the top and unwarranted thought Mo, but he enjoyed the moment, as everyone else did. Everyone else, apart from one, scrawny kid. Rorie shouted out!
“Enough! I challenge you to a battle!” His rage had obviously led to him forgetting the stupidity of what he was saying. How could this poor, dirty pleb scumbag nobody get the love Rorie deserved? How could they love Houndour more than Abra? Abra was way cooler. He could teleport! And, Daddy had taught it Psychic! That could destroy any other Pokemon, Daddy had assured him.
“Pffft. I accept your challenge” figured Mo. He was sick of this little kid. The school cheered.
And so they got onto the school's battle training ground and arranged a one-on-one. Houndour was restless but Mo managed to calm him down.
“Everything's gonna be fine” he whispered to him. I sure hope I'm right! This could get embarrassing. Houndour was starting to trust Mo now, and was eagerly anticipating the match.
“Halt! I shall be referee!” Shouted Miss Peggy, who had heard the challenge being made. Everyone seemed to agree with this decision.
“There will be one Pokemon per trainer, no time limit. Mo, as the challenged trainer, may pick who goes first”
“Please, Rorie, go ahead. Show me what you got!” Mo smirked.
“Abra! Go! Psychic on Houndour!” By now, Rorie had smoke coming out of his ears he was so angry. But nothing happened.
“I said Psychic Abra! Come on!” And yet nothing happened. Abra's eyes were shining blue, but Houndour was unaffected.
“May I remind you, Rorie, that psychic-type moves have no effect on a dark Pokemon?” said Mo smugly. With that, he shouted “Houndour, ember!” the little balls of fire and sparks shot towards and hit Abra square in the face. It erupted into a cloud of smoke, and when it dissipated, Abra was still standing, albeit clearly weakened.
“Abra! Use teleport and land on Houndour's head!” shouted an apparently ingenious Rorie
“Houndour use leer and then ember again!” Abra got caught in Houndour's leer, was too scared to teleport and wasn't braced at all for the impact of ember. As soon as the cloud of smoke dissipated, Abra was lying on the floor.
“Abra is unable to battle. The winner is Mo with Houndour!” Everyone cheered, and Mo the loudest. He had won his first ever trainer battle! “Mo, I want you to know: I think you have a promising career. It's no wonder Professor Oak gave you this Pokemon: you already have a bond with it! Good luck! I think this isn't the last I've heard of you. Goodbye! There is nothing more I can teach you that you mustn't find out for yourself.” On that note, Raf came to Mo and expressed his gratitude at finally putting Rorie in his place. And he basked in Mo's sheer brilliance at winning his first battle.
“Hey Raf, I'm going to Pewter City. Wanna come with me?” asked Mo. He'd taken a liking to Raf, and figured he could do with a human companion.
“Do I? I'd love to!” Exclaimed Raf, and put his arm around Mo's shoulder on the way home. And so it came to be that Mo and Raf were on their way to Pewter City together. Mo had made a new good friend and won his first ever battle – the first of many to come!
A certain boy in Viridian was complaining to his father about the loss to Houndour. His father was dressed in black, with a black cap, boots and a big red R on his shirt, and listening intently to what his son had to say. Jack was his name and, although he was unhappy at his son losing his first battle, he was grateful it had happened. Otherwise, he would never have found out about this Houndour, who was obviously a sensationally easy target to steal, and would get him into Giovanni's good books. He knew the Johto Team Rocket was barely starting, and so Pokemon from the region were still rare to come by – even one as common as Houndour. He called his partner:
“Jill! I think I finally have a Pokemon worth our time. Meet me at the usual place in Viridian Forest.”
“Hehe, I can't wait to hear what you have for us. See you there!” The line went dead.
So there you go - the first three chapters - if you like it, give me a kind review and I'll post some more. There is more there, but I wanted to make sure some people here liked it before I posted everything!
edit: just noticed there may be one or two spelling mistakes - whoops, not my fault honest! It's the computer wot done it! I'll sort it out tomorrow, right now I'm too tired. I have engineering mathematics to look forward to tomorrow morning and I really should be awake for that! So please, forgive any errors, I'll sort them out. I did proofread, but bear in mind I'm a little tipsy right now.
November 10th, 2009, 03:48 PM
The story continues, our intrepid adventurer enjoying his time with his new friend.
Chapter 4 – The way to Pewter City!
Mo and Raf walked along the path in the forest. It was still the same day, and it was a couple of hours before dark. They had spent some time in the Pokemart buying supplies and especially lots of potions for different situations. They got to a clearing and decided to break there. It had been a busy day, and they thought it best to have the camp set up so that they could look for dry wood before it got dark. They let out all their Pokemon, who all took a delight in meeting each other. Nidoran and Houndour had obviously agreed that what had happened before could be forgotten as time long gone, and so they played with each other. Saurus took a bit more time to get included, but they all introduced themselves. Whilst the boys set up their tent, the Pokemon slowly moved a bit further away from the camp. Meanwhile, hiding in a bush, not far away, a man and a woman observe...
“My oh my Jack, you really have struck gold. I can see the boss being very happy with our work. All we need is to get that Houndour and we'll finally get some recognition! And that Bulbasaur should be a nice addition to our squad.” Jill seemed rather excited at the prospect of her boss not kicking her for once.
“Yeah,” he started, getting all dreamy-eyed, “just imagine: the boss has had a really long day with loads o' guys comin in and givin him boring Kanto Pokemon. He's about to give up hope when – Taddah! - in come Jack and Jill with Houndour, a Johto Pokemon! He's sure to promote us then and give us the place in the gang that we deserve!” Jack could hardly contain his joy. “But let's not be too hasty – let them get deeper into the forest so that they take longer to raise the alarm.”
“Agreed”, answered Jill, and they sneaked off.
“Hey Raf! Wanna go collect some wood now?” asked Mo.
“Sure thing man, I'm starving!” His stomach gave an audible growl of agreement.
“Ok! Let's go! Come on guys, you can help too!” and so the Pokemon followed them. Nidoran, Houndour and Saurus were happily following the pair when Raf put his hand in front of Mo.
“This one's mine!” he whispered a little too loudly. The Caterpie looked at Raf. “Saurus, Go! Use tackle on that Caterpie!”
Saurus sprang into action, but as it ran toward the Caterpie, it used string shot on him, slowing him down considerably. By the time he reached Caterpie, the force of the impact had been greatly reduced. The Caterpie slid back a little, but it was all Raf needed.
“Go pokeball!” It hit the Caterpie in the face and, after a tense couple of seconds, gave the recognizable 'Ping' Raf had been waiting for for so long.
“Alright! I got me a Caterpie! Awesome! I'll call you Peepee!”
Mo cringed at the awful nickname, but congratulated his friend. It was, after all, the first Pokemon Raf had caught all by himself!
“Did you see that super well-timed tackle I got Saurus to do on Caterpie! Man! I'll never forget today”. Mo was growing slowly tired of Raf's showing off, but decided to ignore it for now. After they had collected their wood, they returned to camp for the night.
The next morning they set off deeper into the forest and Mo looked around to see if he could see a Pokemon worth capturing. Houndour won't stand a chance against a rock-type, and Nidoran isn't exactly ideal. Could a bug Pokemon really be of any use to me? Raf's got Saurus so he probably won't have much trouble. Just then, two black-clad people, a man and a woman, arrived in front of them. The red R was unmissable, and Raf whispered to Mo:
“Be careful. I've heard of these guys, they're Team Rocket! They aren't to be trusted”. True to his word, both boys suddenly felt the ground beneath them give, and they fell a rather large distance into what a moment ago had seemed to be ground.
“Hahaha! It's just too easy!” Shouted Jack with glee, as he caught Houndour, Saurus and Nidoran with a large net. The Pokemon had been following the pair and had therefore avoided falling into the hole. The three Pokemon cried as Jill looked down upon the kids.
“Team Rocket says thanks! You really have provided us with some perfect Pokemon – Toodle-oo! Huh? What's that noise?” Jill looked in each direction, confused. A loud buzzing noise could be heard even down in the hole.
“Aaah! Run! It's a swarm of Beedrill! Where did they come from? Why are they so angry?” Jack dropped the net in panic, and the Pokemon managed to drag themselves into the hole in a nick of time. The Beedrill swarmed over the top, seemingly ignoring the trapped companions and in search of something else. “Ow! Ah! You've – ouch – managed to – eek! - thwart us this time boys – oomph – but we will be back!”
As they ran, Jill panted to Jack. “how did they manage to summon them? They're obviously more powerful kids than we thought. Psychics perhaps!”
“Who cares?” Answered Jack. “Run!”
The Beedrills' twin missile attack hit them, and off the pair flew into the distance, leaving a small shining speck in the sky.
Saurus used his vines to help everyone back up. “Wow, that was close!” remarked Raf, who was rubbing his bruised knee.
“Yeah. Who were those guys?” Asked Mo, still hugging his Houndour and Nidoran, who were very pleased to be safely reunited with their master.
“Team Rocket. They're the gangsters who attacked the Pokemon Center in Viridian too. They make a living out of stealing Pokemon and selling them. Their evil boss is a guy called Giovanni, who's always been rumored to actually live in Viridian! No one knows for sure though, apart from the gang itself.”
It was clear then: they had tried to steal Houndour from him. Wow! I'll never let that happen. I will always be on my guard in the future. “Hey Raf!” said Mo, “wanna train battling for the rest of the day? We really should be better prepared if they come back!”
“Do I?” replied Raf, excited, “Aw man you have no idea. I really do! Shall we have a two-on-two to start off?”
They found themselves a small clearing and announced the rules: “Okay, let's not go too hard on each other. I'll use Saurus first Mo, who you choose is up to you.” he smirked.
“Alright! I'll use Nidoran first! Go Nidoran!” Nidoran appeared in front of him. Saurus and Nidoran faced each other, both shouting their respective cries. Raf started:
“Alright Saurus! Use tackle!” Saurus flew toward Nidoran, who didn't have the time to dodge the attack. He went flying back, but got back on his feet.
“Good hit Raf! Nidoran, use peck!” Nidoran ran towards Saurus and his horn began to shine a bright white.
“Peck? Nidoran knows peck?! Oh no! Dodge it Saurus!” Saurus managed to dodge the first attack, but Nidoran was too quick and immediately followed up with a second, springing sideways with his hind legs and smashing into the grass Pokemon. “Alright, stop before anyone gets hurt! Saurus, well done, come back and have some rest!” Raf put Saurus back into his Pokeball. “Caterpie, go!”
“Well done Nidoran! You come back too and have some rest. Go Houndour!” Houndour jumped forward, growling in anticipation. “Houndour, use ember on that overrated worm!”
Houndour opened his mouth and little darts of fire flew out, surrounding Caterpie with flames – but missing it.
“Okay Caterpie, now's the time for a string shot!” Caterpie fired a long string towards Houndour, which surrounded him completely and essentially immobilized him. “Now use tackle!”
“Okay Houndour! Use ember again, but try to hit him this time!” Mo shouted.
Sadly, Houndour was struggling against the string that enveloped him, and couldn't fire in time. He was hit square in the ribs by Caterpie several times in a row before Mo shouted “Okay! Enough Raf! Let's have a rest!”
Raf agreed, and he started with “I totally would have beat you! My Caterpie's awesome! Well done Peepee, you really did good.” He gave it a hug, and it started spraying an odd fluid into the air.
“Eww! What are you doing!”. The fluid hardened around Caterpie, and soon enough, a Metapod was sitting in front of him. “Yes! Caterpie evolved into Metapod!”
Already? “Well done dude! That's certainly a first for us!” answered Mo, slightly jealous. Mo used his Pokedex to tell him what moves Nidoran could do and what it could learn – coming across a very interesting piece of information. Nidoran can learn a fighting move?
“Hey Raf, if I train my Nidoran a bit longer, it can learn double-kick! That would solve my problem with facing the Gym leader at Pewter City!” he shouted in jubilation.
“Okay cool, I'll get Peepee to use harden for a while and you can use it as target practice!”.
Metapod didn't look too pleased with the idea of being a punching bag, but it accepted nonetheless out of respect for its master – and a distinct lack of choice. “And it'll be Saurus' turn to take on Houndour next!”.
The boys got ready: Metapod used harden a couple of times while Nidoran and Mo just watched. Eventually, Mo decided it was time.
“Nidoran go! Try a double-kick!” Nidoran lunged forward, but tripped over its own feet and fell over in front of Metapod, who wasn't moving. “Try again Nidoran, double-kick!”. This time, Nidoran managed to stay upright, but didn't really kick with any strength, barely causing Metapod to wobble a little. “Come on Nidoran you can do this! Keep at it!”.
This went on for some time, with each kick being only slightly better than the last. Suddenly, a Spearow saw Metapod out in the open and couldn't resist an easy meal.. Mo noticed it just in time.
“Nidoran! Protect Metapod! Use a double-kick on Spearow when he's close enough!”. Nidoran watched as the bird Pokemon swooped in an attempt to snatch Metapod and leaped at exactly the right second, smashing his paw into the Pokemon's jugular. The surprised bird made a dull 'thump' on the ground when it landed on its back spread-eagled, and Mo immediately went into action:
“Goooo pokeball!”. It barely moved, the bird was obviously KO. “Alright! I got my first flying type! Spearow!”. Mo was overjoyed – not only for getting a third Pokemon, but for getting it before Raf got another. I'll always have to stay ahead of him!
Raf was obviously impressed – and thankful that Mo had saved his Metapod from being abducted. They continued to Pewter City. Out far ahead of them were two figures who seemed to be running at full speed, but there was nothing following them.
“Must be late for something” remarked Raf.
That idiotic running style seems familiar. Oh well, it really could be anyone anyway. “Yeah”, mumbled Mo, as they made the final stretch to the city. They met a boy on the way.
“Hey stop! You there with the strange Pokemon! I challenge you to a battle!” he shouted. “I've got me an awesome Pokemon, and I bet he can beat yours!”. Mo, somewhat surprised by the challenge but in the mood to win, agreed. I wonder what Pokemon he's got?
“Alright. My name's Mo by the way, and I accept your challenge.”
“Cool, I'm Phil and I'm sending out Vulpix! Go!” The Vulpix came out of its pokeball in front of its Master.
“Houndour, you go out there” and Houndour jumped up to his battle position in front of Vulpix.
“Alright Vulpix, use ember!” the flames hit Houndour, but he didn't seem to mind. In fact, he obviously rather enjoyed it.
“Houndour use Smog!” Houndour turned around and farted a vicious looking cloud of smoke towards Vulpix. It was hard to tell who was more shocked: Vulpix or Phil! Meanwhile, Raf and Mo were in tears of laughter even before the attack hit, and even more so when it did. Vulpix was out cold.
“What? But why didn't the flames have any effect?” cried the boy. Pokedex chimed in:
“Flash fire. This ability makes the user immune to fire-type damage.”
“You see, Houndour is both dark and fire-type.” explained Mo.
“Aw man! I'll be going to the Pokemon Center now. Wanna come with me?” asked Phil.
“Sure thing dude, show us the way”.
In the Pokemon Center, they dropped off their Pokemon for a quick refresher and, after calling home to check in, went to a restaurant.
“I'm starving,” remarked Mo. Raf's stomach roared in agreement. They decided to go for the all you can eat menu, and stuffed themselves beyond belief. With both bellies now bulging well over the table, Mo got back to the matter at hand.
“Who'll battle the Gym leader first? You or me? I really don't mind, it's up to you. You're almost sure to win with Saurus anyway.”
“In that case I'll go first – maybe you'll be able to find a weak spot?” replied Raf, barely able to speak due to his mass being almost too heavy for his lungs to bear.
“Alright, you go first. Then it'll be my turn!”
They picked up their Pokemon and walked to the Gym. It was only the early afternoon so they had little trouble, although before they could go in an angry girl confronted them:
“Are you new trainers? Do you know who you're facing? Brock is no ordinary trainer. He uses rock type Pokemon!”. The ginger-haired girl seemed in a bad mood. Why's she so mad?
“Uhm yeah, but we should be okay. I've got a type disadvantage against rock but my Nidoran should be able to help me out. Maybe Spearow, but he's completely untrained-”
Mo was interrupted. “Completely useless, more like. Flying type aren't effective against rock-type! I'll tell you what: I'll battle you and see how good you really are.” And so she laid down the gauntlet.
“Alright! Another battle? I really should save myself for the gym battle though,” said Mo.
“It's okay”, said Raf “I'll battle Brock today with Saurus, you take her on. She looks tough, and you can battle Brock tomorrow.”
“Agreed!” Mo took out Houndour's pokeball. “I've gotta warn ya, he's fresh out of the Pokemon Center! A two vs two battle alright for you?”
“Yes.” she took out a pokeball. “Go Staryu!”
“Go Houndour!” The girl looked on in disbelief as Mo sent out his Johto Pokemon.
“What's that? A Houndour? Never heard of it!”
“It's from Johto, it's my starter Pokemon. Now Houndour, use smog!”
Again, the dog-like Pokemon turned around and fired a cloud of gas at Staryu. It took a little damage and was obviously poisoned, but the star-shaped Pokemon wasn't phased.
“Staryu, use water gun!” She shouted in reply.
Now it was Mo's turn to stare as Houndour got hit by the stream of water and got slammed backward, collapsing into a heap.
“How could I be so stupid!” He cried. “I'm so sorry Houndour. You tried your hardest, but water obviously isn't your forte.” He turned to the girl. “Damn! That Staryu of yours sure is strong. Go Nidoran! Use a double-kick!”
Nidoran burst out of his pokeball and immediately kicked Staryu twice in a row, knocking it out.
“Not bad! Go Starmie! Use bubblebeam!”. Starmie was far too strong for Nidoran, but he managed to endure the hit.
“Get it with a double-kick Nidoran,” ordered Mo. It rushed towards Starmie and jumped up, ready to give the opponent a powerful blow, but the odd Pokemon started spinning and was upon Nidoran before it could react.
“Never mind Nidoran, you tried your hardest. Get some rest, boy!” Said Mo dejectedly.
“Thanks Starmie, return! Hey, you weren't so bad for a beginner” she said reassuringly. “You should be able to handle Brock tomorrow. Unlike my traveling partner... I'm Misty by the way, it was nice to meet and battle you”. She stuck out her hand for Mo to shake.
“Well thanks for the battle,” he answered taking it. “I learned something, that's for sure. I'm Mo and this is Raf!”.
“I think we'll be seeing each other again, soon.” She winked, said goodbye and went away.
“Wow, what a battle” said Raf. “Let's get mine going!” and so they went into the gym.
Hehe! So that was Misty! I figured she could use something to do when she storms out on Ash in the restaurant – her having an angry battle seemed like the perfect solution!
As always, I do like a good review or comment. If you'd like to see anything in particular in this series, please tell me. Yes, Ash and Mo will meet face to face and possibly battle, I just have to decide when this will happen!
November 10th, 2009, 04:06 PM
Yeah, awful pun for the chapter title. Anyway, Raf is about to battle for his first badge, and Mo will follow!
Chapter 5 – Badgering for victory!
Raf opened the doors. It was dark inside and Mo went up into the stands. The spotlight lit up on Brock, who was meditating in the corner. “Welcome trainer. I am Brock, the leader of the Pewter City Gym. What can I do for you?”
“I'm Raf from Viridian and I want to challenge you for the boulder badge!”
“Alright. As gym leader it is my responsibility to accept every challenge. Let's begin. This is going to be a two-on-two battle. Understood?”
Doors slid open on the sides, but Raf was far enough from Brock to avoid having to run away from the battlefield that came rolling in. "I'm impressed. My previous challenger wasn't quite so careful."
Mo wondered what he meant with that. There had been no signs of an ambulance or mortuary wagon outside, so he assumed no one had died.
“Yeah, let's do this! Go Saurus!” Saurus stood at the battle starting position.
“Onix, come out!” Onix appeared tall over Saurus, who seemed a little worried - a beed of sweat appeared on his forehead.
“Don't worry Saurus, he's still only a rock-type. Use vine whip!” Saurus lengthened his vines and sent them up to Onix's face, slapping it repeatedly. Brock sighed.
“Dodge it!” Saurus moved just in time, avoiding the crushing mass of the falling Onix. “Use vine whip again!” Saurus slapped Onix again, who now collapsed into a heap.
“Alright, well done kid. Geodude, come out and use magnitude!” The Geodude did as it was told, shaking the ground. The Pokedex shows a magnitude of 5! Raf was lucky it wasn't more powerful!
As Saurus was thrown into the air, it started to panic, but Raf shouted at him “Saurus now's your chance! Use vine whip one last time!”. It was enough to knock out the Geodude, which was clearly weaker than the Onix.
“Well done. Raf from Viridian, I give you the boulder badge. Congratulations, although don't expect future gym leaders to take being beaten by just one move. Believe me, it will not be enough by the time you reach your third gym.” Brock walked out angrily, taking his Pokemon with him.
“Awesome Raf! You beat him!” shouted Mo, genuinely happy for his friend. But Raf didn't look too happy.
“You heard him. He thought it was a cheap win. Actually, I sorta agree with him on that point.”
“Come on, don't beat yourself up about it. You got the boulder badge, and I'm getting mine tomorrow!”. This seemed to cheer Raf up. "Let's go to the museum! I heard there was some interesting stuff to look at there!"
The next morning, Mo got up early for his battle with Brock. He had to be absolutely certain that he would win. A defeat just wouldn't do. "Hey Raf! Time to get up, I need one last practice battle!"
Raf groaned. "Come on, just a little bit longer. It's 7 in the morning!". Mo was having none of it, and soon the two were out of bed and out of the lodge they had slept at.
"Hey Mo! Did you get woken up by something in the middle of the night? Like a bright flash or something?" Raf was curious if it had just been a dream.
"Actually, I'm glad you mentioned it. I looked out of the window and it looked like there were huge yellow searchlights pointing up into the sky! Must have been a party of some sort. I'm sorry we missed it!"
"Yeah, oh well. So, that practice battle you wanted? This looks like a good place. Go Peepee! Use harden!"
"Nidoran go! Get ready for some training!" The Nidoran yawned at first, but quickly woke up.
"Peepee, harden again!"
"Wait for it Nidoran!"
"Peepee, harden again!"
"Nidoran, double-kick!" Nidoran unleashed a perfectly executed double-kick, causing Metapod to fall over, obviously nearly knocked out.
"That'll do Mo, Peepee can't take any more!"
"But we need to practice more!" Cried Mo.
An unknown voice shouted "I can help! I'm a friend of Brock's, my name is Peter. Battle my Sandshrew - if you win, you're worthy of battling Brock, I reckon."
"Gee thanks!” Said Mo. Alright let's do this! Nidoran, get ready for a real battle. One-on-one!"
"Sandy, go! Show these guys what you're made of! You go first Mo."
Mo smirked. “You're too kind. Nidoran, use double-kick!"
"Sand-attack." Peter said calmly. Nidoran was temporarily blinded and flew wide with his kick. "And now use scratch."
Sandshrew gave a vicious scratch across Nidoran's back as he flew past.
"Nidoran careful! Turn and face Sandshrew and use peck!"
"Dodge it. I said dodge it!" Shouted Peter, but it was too late. Sandshrew was too slow, seemingly having become over-confident. It took the Peck full-on. "Okay then use poison sting!"
"Dodge it and double-kick Nidoran!" Nidoran ducked under the poison sting and smashed his two hind-legs into Sandshrew, who crashed onto the ground after a brief period of flight and didn't get up anymore. "Awesome Nidoran! Good job. Have a little rest." Mo recalled Nidoran.
"That was a fine battle Mo. I think you may have what it takes to beat Brock. Good luck, and don't lose!" Peter left Mo and Raf with a final wave.
"I am PUMPED for this battle man!" Shouted Mo as they got to the doors. "Okay Raf, you go up and I'll challenge Brock."
"Welcome to the Pewter City Gym. How can I help you?" said a happy Brock, who wasn't meditating. The Gym was already set up and the lights were on. Hey, why don't I get all the cool introductions and stuff?
Seemingly reading his mind, Brock remarked that he'd seen Mo the day before, so didn't deem it necessary to do the whole yaddah-yaddah spiel again.
"I'm here to challenge you for the boulder badge!" Mo's confident smile made Brock feel a flicker of hope for the future. Yesterday's electric-type trainer hadn't exactly impressed him, and nor had his challenger's little friend.
"Alright, then let's begin. Onix, go!" The huge rock snake towered over Mo, who sent out Nidoran.
"Nidoran, use double-kick!"
"Take the hit and bind, Onix!" Onix took the hit as instructed, but caught Nidoran on his way down.
"Oh no! Nidoran, try to focus!" Mo encouraged. The Pokemon was clearly in pain. "Use leer!" In a last gasp effort, Nidoran stared at Onix, who seemed discomforted by the stare. It was just enough for Nidoran to slip out. "Double-kick!" the hit landed, and Onix fainted, collapsing into a heap - directly on top of Nidoran, who gave a "Nidoooo" before being crushed.
"Onix return!" Brock took Onix off the field and allowed Mo to run up to Nidoran and check on it. It looked like it had a broken leg. "Don't worry Mo, this happens all the time. Nurse Joy'll fix him right up." At the mention of the nurse Brock went all dreamy-eyed, but regained his composure. "Want to continue or do you surrender?"
"Surrender? Pah! Never. If this is so harmless, I'm sure Nidoran wouldn't be be happy with me giving up after he fought so well! Return, Nidoran - we'll take you to a Pokemon Center soon. Go Houndour!"
Brock's face was a picture at first, but he soon smirked. "Houndour? The Johto Pokemon? Impressive. Let's see how it fares against GEODUDE! Use rock-throw on that Houndour!"
Geodude picked up one rock after the other off the floor, launching each one in Houndour's direction.
"Dodge the rocks!" Houndour was agile enough, but got hit by one of them. "Now use ember!"
"Oh no, a fire-type move? Am I seriously seeing this? Geodude, use another rock-throw!" But Geodude seemed to be in pain - it was burned!
"All you need to do now is survive long enough Houndour! He's burned! Use Smog to stop him from seeing you!"
"Defense curl! An odd way to perform this move Houndour, might I add!" Brock was clearly enjoying himself.
"Take the hit! Magnitude!" Geodude was obviously nearing the end of its strength as it bashed the floor.
"Houndour jump!" Houndour jumped at the right time, avoiding the shock wave in the ground.
"Aw no! Tackle him!"
"Push him back with ember one last time!"
The small darts weren't exactly effective, but with Geodude low on strength, it was enough. He fell to the ground, out for the count. There was a cheer from the viewing area.
"Awesome! Well done Houndour!" Mo was pleased to have won the match.
"Excellent work, well done on dodging that magnitude - I've never seen anyone do that before! You fully deserve your Boulder badge. Thank you for showing me there is still hope. I really wish I could come with you on your travels! You look like a trainer with potential and I'm sure I would learn a lot about breeding Pokemon. Never mind, another time!"
Brock walked out, slightly upset at having to stay in Pewter City, and to heal his Pokemon.
"I got the boulder badge! I got the boulder badge!" Mo was ecstatic. It was better than catching Pokemon or winning battles with strangers. He knew that he would always be able to enjoy a moment like this one.
Raf congratulated Mo, and they decided to go to the Pokemon Center to fix Nidoran up.
“Nidoran's going to need until tomorrow to recover from that broken leg. Don't worry, it's not bad, it's just that injuries like these take longer than 15 minutes to heal despite our technological advances.” The boys looked at each other and shrugged.
“Then we'll wait till tomorrow! Raf, let's go practice a bit of battling. I still haven't tried my Spearow!”
November 10th, 2009, 04:30 PM
Chapter 6: Charmandada!
And so the boys ran off together, looking for a place to battle.
“Right then! Let's check what this Spearow can do!” Mo fired up his Pokedex. “Spearow's known attacks are peck and growl.”
Ah, not much. “Come out Spearow, come say hello” shouted Mo. It flew up into the air and looked pleased to be out for a bit. It certainly looked like it had a bit of a temper though, so Mo decided to direct this anger towards a more positive end.
The boys trained for the afternoon, with all the Pokemon becoming progressively more powerful and in tune with their masters. If only Nidoran were here to enjoy a bit of training too! Such a shame...
“Spearow's known moves are peck, growl, leer, fury attack and pursuit,” said Dex on Mo's second attempt at checking how well his bird Pokemon was doing.
“That's a lot better!” He cheered. “Well done Spearow.” It barked appreciatively. “Raf! One last battle!”
“Yeah one more and I'm done. Peepee go!” Metapod awkwardly hobbled into their makeshift arena. Mo sent in Spearow, eager to practice some of the other moves.
“Fury attack!” Spearow flew down towards Metapod.
The attack barely made any damage on the first go, but Spearow swooped down again two more times before he had finished. There were a few scratches more on that cocoon.
“That move looks like it'll be useful in the future!” remarked Mo. “Hey Raf! Why aren't you battling?” Raf was staring at Metapod.
“Peepee's got a crack! It's crumbling! Oh no! Spearow broke him!”
Mo recalled Spearow and ran towards Peepee, who's skin was indeed cracking. Suddenly it began to shine, and Mo shouted:
“It's evolving you fool! Peepee is evolving!”
Sure enough, a moment later, a Butterfree flew out of the Metapod carcass. “Wow!” they both managed to whisper, in awe of the beautiful bug before them.
“Well done Raf! You have a Butterfree! You must be doing something right to see him evolve so soon!”
Raf just nodded. He couldn't believe what had just happened. For the first time in his life, there was something he was good at. He'd made a Pokemon evolve! Twice! And Mo had seen him, and helped him. He looked over to Mo, thankful he had met the other boy. Without him, he'd probably still be around Viridian trying to catch a Nidoran.
“Thanks for your help training Peepee Mo.” He finally said.
“Don't mention it buddy, we help each other, that's what friends do!”
Without knowing it, both boys thought the same thing when the words left Mo's mouth. Friends. Man, I was always the idiot in my class, I've never had a real friend! Smiles crossed their faces, and they went to relax for the rest of the evening.
The next day, the boys set off after picking up Nidoran. He seemed as good as new, and certainly very pleased to see Mo again. They both let their Pokemon out for the walk, Spearow and Butterfree flying overhead, Nidoran, Saurus and Houndour walking.
“Peepee sure is a beauty!” Remarked Raf for the thousandth time as they neared Mt. Moon.
The road was deserted although at one stage Raf had fallen into a hole that was inexplicably dug in the middle of the road. Of course, he had been staring at Butterfree and not been looking where he was going. It looked at least big enough to fit two or maybe three people in, and was very oddly proportioned – as if it had been dug from underneath the earth. In the end, they figured it must be the scene of some sort of earth-Pokemon's rise to the surface to get some air, although Dex was clearly malfunctioning when it said a Meowth had been there.
Later, they came across a girl who was crying by the side of the road. She seemed ready to give up on life as a whole, wailing like a Banshee, not making sense.
“Hi there! Can we help? I'm Mo and this is Raf” started Mo. She just cried harder.
“Charmander! I lost him!” she managed between sobs. “We were walking, sniff, through Mt. Moon when we, 'gulp', got separated by a flock of Zubat. Waaaaah! Charmander!”
“Woah! Well don't worry, we'll help you find it!” Raf seemed to be overly eager to help out, but Mo didn't notice. He just wanted her to stop screaming.
“Yeah of course we will!” added Mo.
“Really? Aww thank you! Let's start now. I'm Dada by the way!”. She had deep brown eyes, black hair and was actually quite pretty. She wore trendy clothes, had a blue hat on that made her look somewhat like a Smurf and almost knee-high socks.
Mo and Raf soon thought they had made a terrible mistake in accompanying this girl. She just would not. Stop. Talking.
“So you started your journey recently too huh? You doing gym battles or contests? There's a new contest league in Hoenn you know. I don't want to do battling too much, well, I mean I do, but it just seems like hurting them for no reason you know? Did you know that in another region called Supein they kill Tauros for fun and eat them? Anyway I just want Charmander back you know, so I can get back to training, you know? We started out in Pewter City, my dad works at the museum, you know it?”
Mo was reaching boiling point. Eventually, he cracked. “STOP SAYING YOU KNOW! IT'S REALLY ANNOYING! NOW LET'S FIND CHARMANDER SO THAT ME AND RAF CAN GET ON WITH OUR JOURNEY!” Mo felt better, but immediately guilty too as he saw Dada stop, stunned. “I'm sorry, I guess I shouldn't have shouted.”
They didn't speak until they reached the Pokemon Center in front of Mt. Moon, and Mo felt awkward. He missed her endless chatter now. There, she slowly returned to normal, but was obviously a bit more careful. She's probably just nervous about Charmander anyway. After asking around the Pokemon center, where it was clear that Charmander had not been seen, they decided to look in Mt. Moon, which they had to pass through anyway.
“So Dada, where did you lose Charmander?” asked Raf.
“I don't know exactly. I know it was this way” she pointed. “Be careful though guys, those Zubat are nasty! I really don't like them.”
It was Mo's turn to ask a question. “Do you have any other Pokemon apart from Charmander?”
“Yes, I caught a Mankey, I needed it to beat Brock, Charmander just wasn't strong enough to beat the fire disadvantage. Look, I'll show her to you!” and sure enough, out popped a Mankey.
“Wow! She looks awesome! I wish I'd found one too. It would have been useful against Brock, you were right to get one.” Mo was very jealous.
“I love your Houndour Mo, it's so cute!” Houndour was somewhat surprised at being called cute, but seemed to like it. After all, it was unusual that someone described him as such. He growled to show he was tough too.
“Hey that gives me an idea! Do you have anything that belongs to Charmander? A cloth or something?” Asked Mo. Dada looked confused, but took out a little pillow from her bag. “That'll do! Hey Houndour, think you can help find Charmander?” The dog-like Pokemon barked in approval, it's eyes lightening up. “Sniff it well and good!” Houndour took the pillow and bit into it, ripping it to shreds. The kids just stared as the feathers flew.
“Charmander's not going to be happy – it's his favorite you know?” She caught herself saying you know, and resisted saying it again. “Well I guess that was a useless exercise – you owe me a pillow Mo!”.
Raf was just laughing, and Mo was looking sheepishly at Dada. Houndour barked, and they turned towards him – he was already ten meters away, and sniffing the ground, running somewhere.
“He's found the trail! Let's follow him!” They all ran, following Houndour as he twisted and turned deeper and deeper into the mountain. The three running kids seemed to be too dangerous of a target for the wild Pokemon, who left them alone until they reached a dead end. Mo looked at Rafi, who looked at Dada, who looked at Mo, who turned his gaze towards Houndour. The Pokemon seemed rather pleased with itself, grinning happily. “Charmander isn't here Houndour, it'll take hours to get out of he-” Mo was interrupted.
“Char...Charrr” came a weak-sounding voice from a hole.
“Charmander!” Dada ran towards the hole and reached inside it. A blast of fire came out, singeing her hair and blackening her face, but Charmander was out, angry at Dada for leaving him but happy all the same. “I found you! At last! Houndour here helped!” Charmander looked at Houndour blankly, not sure whether he liked him or not. “He had to use your pillow, and... I'm sorry, it's broken.”
Charmander decided he did not like Houndour at all, glaring at him. He didn't seem overly phased by the situation though, ignoring Charmander's ember attack, which didn't affect him anyway.
“Relax Charmander, I'll get you a new, nicer one. But we have to focus on getting out of here now. Hey, who are they?” She pointed towards a boy with blue hair, yellow sunglasses, stylish clothes and was followed two others. They were shorter than he was, and clearly only following him because they had no choice. Their face gave their frustration away.
“I'm Damian, you silly girl,” said the boy in a nasal, high pitched arrogant sounding voice. “That's a pretty bad Charmander you've got there. It looks very weak, mine is a lot stronger!”
The two boys sniggered, but still looked like they didn't want to.
“Oh yeah? Well how about a battle and I'll show you how strong my Charmander is!” She shouted, clenching her fists.
“Haha, I have caught so many Pokemon, you won't have a chance. These two are just here because I pay them to carry extra pokeballs for me – the six pokeball limit is such a bummer!”
“That's cheating” said Raf.
“Yeah, so what?” answered Damian smugly. “I'll tell you what, after I've beaten her, I'll take you on you little worm. And you too, blond kid!” he pointed at Mo, who didn't know what he had done to deserve the battle.
“Then let's get this started! Charmander, go!” Dada's Charmander ran in front of her, ready for battle.
So, there we go! You might recognize Damian from the episode Ash got his Charmander. The hole in the road was made by Team Rocket, in a much earlier episode. Also, any ideas for more references to the anime would be welcome. I've seen them all but my memory is a bit weak, it was years ago and Bulbapedia can only tell me so much. So yeah, anyway, I hope you're enjoying it!
November 10th, 2009, 04:42 PM
Chapter 7 – Angels and Damians!
“Then let's get this started! Charmander, go!” Dada's Charmander ran in front of her, ready for battle.
“Don't make me laugh!” said a smirking Damian. “Squirtle, go!”
“Oh no!” Cried Dada. “Charmander, use scratch!” Charmander launched itself at Squirtle.
“Withdraw” said a bored-looking Damian. The scratch glanced off Squirtle's shell, barely causing any damage at all.
“Use ember in through one of the holes!” Shouted Dada, frustrated, clenching a fist. The flames shot into the shell, causing considerable damage. Damian's smirk disappeared.
“Hey! No fair! Squirtle, just use water gun on Charmander!” The powerful stream of water hit Charmander in the face, causing it to fall on its back.
“Oh no! Charmander, are you OK? Can you get up?” The Charmander struggled back to its feet. “Good, then use smokescreen!” Smoke filled the cave, blinding everyone. There was no ventilation, and everyone started coughing.
“Squirtle! Quick, use rapid spin to dissipate the smoke!” The wind caused by the spin made most of the smoke to disappear. “And use water gun on Charmander again!” Squirtle fired.
But it was too late. The super-effective move hit Charmander and it fainted.
Mo looked at Raf, who seemed impressed nonetheless. What is it with that guy and this girl? What he saw next made him smile though.
“Never mind Charmander, next time! Mankey, go! Focus Energy!” Mankey leaped out and started to concentrate.
“Don't let him get ready! Use bubble!” Squirtle fired a load of bubbles towards Mankey, who seemed relatively unaffected – it caused minimal damage.
“Now use Karate chop!” Mankey jumped up, its right hand glowing as it was brought up.
“Dodge it Squirtle!” but once again, it was too late. Mankey scored a critical hit on Squirtle, smashing the full might of its Karate chop on the turtle-Pokemon's head. Squirtle fell backwards, knocked out.
“Yeah! Well done Dada! Keep at it!” cheered Raf. Mo cheered too, albeit a little less embarrassingly loud.
“Pah! Useless Pokemon. Now try this one! Hey you!” he pointed at one of his henchman. “Give me Pidgeotto! Alright, thanks. Now, Pidgeotto! Don't disappoint me! Use gust on that little Karate-monkey!”
Pidgeotto flapped its wings, causing strong wind to hit Mankey in the face. It fell back, but got up almost instantly in an impressive acrobatic fashion.
“That's still not good” remarked Mo. “Flying is super-effective against fighting types.”
“Yeah I know. This could get bad for Dada!”
“You're gonna have to do better than that to take out my Mankey! use fury swipes on Pidgeotto!” Mankey jumped up onto a rock, and then onto Pidgeotto, swiping viciously at Pidgeotto.
“Shake him off! He's already hit you three times! Don't let him get you again! Use aerial ace!” Dada gasped as Pidgeotto flew away, swinging around and smashing straight into Mankey, who was out cold.
“I'm sorry Mankey! I'm impressed at how well you tried. Have some rest!” she sighed as she put the Pokeball back onto her belt. “I agree that you won, but having 18 Pokemon at your disposal is an unfair advantage! Raf, please teach this guy a lesson!”
“You're just upset because you're a loser, and your Pokemon are weak. I caught or bought all these Pokemon apart from Squirtle, so I should be allowed to use them!” Responded a grinning Damian. Raf was boiling with rage.
“Let's see how you do against Peepee then!” he shouted, releasing the Butterfree out of its Pokeball.
Damian was almost crying with laughter. “Peepee? You called it Peepee? Oh my. Well, Pidgeotto, I guess this is another one for you, get ready!” A bleeding Pidgeotto looked angrily at Damian for not letting it rest, but hovered above, facing Butterfree.
“Look at him! He just doesn't care that Pidgeotto is in pain!” said Dada to Mo.
“Don't worry, Raf'll show him a thing or two, get him thinking about his technique a bit.”
Sadly, this was not to be
“Pidgeotto, this should be easy, use gust!”
“I don't think so! Peepee use Confusion!” Butterfree's eyes started to glow purple and took control of Pidgeotto, smashing it into the ceiling. It fell to the ground, out for the count. “Too easy Damian” Raf said smugly.
“Pidgeotto return. You, as usual, were useless. Geodude go! Use rock throw!”
“Counter with gust!” The rock met the wind and stopped, not hitting Butterfree. “Now use stun spore!” Butterfree flew over Geodude, sprinkling some glittering powder onto the bewildered Pokemon.
“Geodude, try to use rollout!” Geodude managed to roll itself into a ball, rolling at speed towards Butterfree and hit a stone on the floor, causing it to bounce up and smash into Peepee. It caused heavy damage, but Butterfree remained in the air.
“Damn it! Use gust!”
“Geodude, do that again!”. But Geodude couldn't move. The attack caused little damage anyway.
“And now Confusion!” Butterfree threw Geodude up and down again, causing a large cloud of dust to envelop it. “It's still not out! Do it again!” Butterfree needed a second to get ready.
“Geodude, you useless brat. Use self-destruct!” Geodude looked over with a sad look in its eyes. “I don't care what you think! Just do it!”
The explosion took out both Pokemon. Mo and Dada gasped in shock.
“You can't do that! Peepee, you poor thing! Return! I'm sorry! Go Saurus!” Bulbasaur seemed eager to battle.
“Okay Charmander, time to show me what you're made of!”
Mo looked at the Charmander with his Pokedex. It was still very young, and only just knew ember. “Are you sure Damian?”
“Yes! I paid good money to Team Rocket for this Charmander! They assured me it was powerful!”
“You what?! They steal Pokemon from other trainers!”
“So what? They didn't steal one from me, so what do I care?” He grinned.
“Charmander, use ember!” Weak little sparks of fire flew toward Bulbasaur.
“No worries Saurus! Use razor leaf!” the razor-sharp leaves span and hit the sparks, actually bursting through them to hit Charmander. It caused some damage to Charmander, but it shook off the pain.
“What? No way! Charmander, use scratch on that slug!” Charmander charged at Bulbasaur, eager to impress its master.
“Vinewhip!” as the tendrils grew out of Bulbasaur's back, they smacked Charmander's face repeatedly as it neared him.
“Alright then, use Ember from close-range!” Charmander was on its last energy reserves, but would not give up, using all its power to fire sparks at Saurus, who just closed its eyes and took it, still only losing little energy.
What a heartless sonofa...
“Poor thing. Saurus, just tackle it gently.” Bulbasaur did as it was told, bumping into Charmander, who fell back, exhausted. It tried to get up, weak from all the damage it had taken.
“You weakling Charmander! I can't believe I spent so much on you! Scratch him!”
“Tackle again, gently Saurus!”
Dada was crying, Raf was just watching in disbelief as the Charmander tried to obey. It was crawling towards Bulbasaur, who was clearly trying its best not to hurt the fire lizard. Houndour barked in encouragement, and jumped around in frustration. Charmander looked at Mo, its wide eyes filled with tears. I am going to destroy that kid! I'll make him suffer one day! I'll give everyone who makes their Pokemon suffer this way a world of pain! He clenched his fists as Charmander collapsed in front of Bulbasaur, finally unable to move.
“Pah! What a waste of money. You'd better show me something better next time, or you'll be alone, without anyone to make you big and powerful! Damn it, just give me Jynx!”
“Hey! I've beaten three of your Pokemon now and I only have two!”
“I'll give you my moon stone if you beat this one!” He showed a shiny rock. “I got it off a Clefairy I beat up earlier.”
“You what?! You're on!”
Damian smirked. “Go Jynx!”
Pokedex chimed in: “Jynx, the human shape Pokemon. It seductively wiggles its hips as it walks. It can cause people to dance in unison with it. .”
“Hehe. I got that one from Team Rocket too. You'd better show you're worth it you ugly old woman!” Jynx looked back slightly upset, but turned to face Bulbasaur.
“What an odd Pokemon. Anyway, use razor leaf!”
“Powder snow!” Jynx shot little balls of snow towards its opponent, canceling out the razor leaf.
“Okay, then use vine whip!” Bulbasaur's vines reached Jynx and threw it in the air.
Mo and Dada cheered, then groaned.
“Use your momentum to cause a huge ice punch!” shouted Damian. As Jynx regained control in the air, its arm started glowing, with ice shards growing around it. It it the ceiling with its feet, and jumped down at Bulbasaur, who couldn't see where she was.
“Dodge it!” Shouted Raf, but this was clearly not the day that dodging would work. The ice punch hit the bulb on his back, flattening him on the ground. He fainted immediately.
“No! Saurus! Come back! Well done, you had no way of knowing what Jynx was up to. I'll help you to get better!”
“Pah! One punch? Charmander is worse than I thought! Hey Blondboy, it's your turn to get mushed. How many Pokemon have you got?”
By now Mo was chomping at the bit to battle Damian. He hadn't felt this outraged his entire life. He had to teach this boy a lesson.
“Three.” He thought if he said anything more than a number he would fling so much abuse at his challenger that his foster-mother would hear him all the way from Pallet and order him to wash his mouth with soap.
“Haha! And I have 14! This should be good. If you beat more than 4, you get the moon stone!”
I'll need that for Nidoran some day!
“Oh really? What if I beat, say, all of them?”
“That won't happen, are you crazy? Haha, if you beat 8 I'll let you take any of my Pokemon! After 14 you can take them all, as that would prove they're all useless! And if I beat that pug of yours with Jynx I get it. Deal?”
“Whatever. Houndour, get ready to teach this guy a lesson!” Houndour barked in agreement, fully focused on destroying anything in his path.
Will Mo manage to control his anger? What other Pokemon has Damian got up his sleeve? This is just one of the situations that will drive Mo to become a Pokemon Ranger some day – or will it fill him with hatred and drive him to form his own gang? Well, I'm not sure yet actually – he certainly will be a ranger one day, but we're far off that stage for now. Hope you're enjoying the ride! :)
November 11th, 2009, 04:26 AM
Hmm, not a single review that hasn't been deleted yet – can't be good :(
Chapter 8: Exorcising the Damians!
“Alright Houndour, stay frosty out there!”, chanted Raf, earning himself a little laugh from Dada. He blushed. He figured that at least someone found his joke about Ice Pokemon funny.
“Good luck Mo!” Said the two observers to Mo, who was now set on getting a moon stone.
“What the hell is that overgrown pug of yours anyway? I've never seen one before”, remarked Damian.
“Houndour is a dual-type dark and fire type. That means your Jynx is screwed already”. Mo smirked, wanting to cause Damian as much anguish as possible – even if it meant going through his Pokemon. “Anyway, Houndour, would you please be so kind and start with a little Ember?”
Little darts of fire flew towards Jynx.
“Use Snow Powder against that Ember!”
As the two moves hit, they canceled each other out, although a few ember darts made their way through and hut Jynx, who seemed worried.
The wind howled through the cave they were in. Mo took in his surroundings as time seemed to slow down. He could see every detail, every movement at that very moment. The small amount of smoke coming out of Houndour's mouth, and the way its legs were spread wide, the Pokemon ready for anything that would come at it. Looking over at his friends, he saw Raf first, who was looking a little worried and encouraging him, his eyes looking excited and honest. Dada was just staring at the battle, scared of Damian. Don't worry girl, I'll get him!
As he thought the words, his eyes drifted towards the boy in question. He was smirking, his idiotic sunglasses making him look like even more of a fool in the darkness of the cave than he already was, his two henchmen looking worried. They must figure that if Damian loses, they're out of a job again!
Time accelerated again – the first clue being in the way noise became normal.
“Lick him Jynx!” Jynx ran to Houndour and used a huge tongue to inflict a little damage.
“Dodge it!” Jynx managed to escape most of the fire darts, but not all – it was hit in the feet, and fell over.
“Now's your chance! Bite it!” Houndour began to run at Jynx.
“Ice Punch!” Jynx got up and froze its right arm, bringing it towards Houndour's open jaws at full speed.
“Cancel Bite and use Ember!”. Houndour stopped in its tracks and fired the Ember straight at Jynx, whose Ice Punch was quickly destroyed. The darts flew into its body, hitting the eyes, arms, legs and torso point-blank. The little explosions of each impact were clearly visible. Jynx fell back and was out.
“Stupid Jynx! I can't believe it! That little pug got you? Consider yourself out of the team if you don't show a better performance next time!” He put the Pokemon away. “Go Meowth! Use Scratch on that thing!”.
The Meowth was quick, and landed a scratch in Houndour's face, who was thrown back and was now facing the wrong way.
“Fury Swipes on its hole!”, shouted a sadistic Damian, knowing there wasn't much Houndour could do. However, he saw Mo's smirk.
“That would be dirty play Damian! Smog!”
Houndour forced the dark cloud of gas out of its back passage, catching Meowth completely by surprise. It inhaled a lot of it, getting weakened by the poison faster than usual. “He's weak! Get him with Bite!”.
There wasn't anything Meowth could do as Houndour chomped on its arm. It looked severely weakened. “Don't take that from a dog! Fake Out!”. Quick as a flash, Meowth slapped Houndour, who flinched at the sudden movement, despite Mo's calls for an Ember. “And now scratch again!”.
The vicious strike was a hit, and Mo, Dada and Raf all gasped. Houndour was thrown to the floor.
“Can you get up Houndour?” asked Mo worriedly. It growled in rage as it got up. “Good, then use Ember on Meowth!”. The attack was too quick for Meowth, who was hit by the fire darts and fell on its singed face.
“I can't believe those Team Rocket guys we met have one of those. They're useless! Bellsprout go! Take some pain! I need you to get stronger anyway!”. Mo was surprised at the idiotic choice. “Don't look at me like that. Pokemon get tougher if you hurt them, it's only natural – they need to get better to defend themselves. Bellsprout, use vine whip!”
The vine struck Houndour's back, but didn't do much damage at all. “Ember”. Houndour fired the little fire darts at Bellsprout. The hits looked painful, but it stayed upright.
“Wrap yourself around that Houndour!”. Bellsprout immediately made itself look longer and wrapped itself 5 times around Houndour's chest. It was obvious he was having difficulty breathing as he tried to snap at Bellsprout, constantly missing.
“Bite it, come on!”. Finally, Houndour manage to bite Bellsprout's head, which caused the grass Pokemon to howl in pain and let go. “Ember again!”
That was enough to take care of it. As Bellsprout lay motionless on the floor, Damian recalled it, but didn't comment. He just smirked. “He's weaker now! Go Psyduck!”.
Raf did a sharp intake of breath. “That git! He just wanted to tire Houndour out a little bit!”
The perpetually confused duck Pokemon came out holding its tilted head. “Saiiiiiiii”. It looked at Damian, not really knowing what to do.
“Err, OK Houndour, use Bite!” Houndour jumped onto Psyduck, biting its beak. It was not happy.
“Psyduck! Try to use confusion!”. It accepted the idea, its eyes starting to glow red as it concentrated hard on Houndour. However, nothing happened, as Houndour was immune. This just confused Psyduck even more.
“Smog him in!” shouted Mo.
“Dodge it and use Ember!”
It was too late. The jet of water smashed into Houndour, who had been getting tired. “Thanks Houndour, you were great. Get some rest! Alright Nidoran, show him what you've got!”. Nidoran came out, giving a little hiss. “Poison Sting!”
Nidoran fired a volley of pink darts at Psyduck, who took considerable damage from the attack. “Water Gun on that weak little bunny!”. The water hit Nidoran and knocked it over, but it got up, quick as a flash.
“Double Kick Nidoran”, and Nidoran jumped forward, smashing a first kick into Psyduck that knocked it over, and then a second when it was down. That finished it. Raf and Dada cheered.
“Psyduck! You're as useless as the others! Go Graveler!”. Graveler gave a little roar as it came out, swinging its arms around. At that moment, Nidoran began to glow, and slowly started to shift its form. It grew bigger, and its jaw expanded as well as its ears and horn. The barbs on its back grew to an impressive size, giving the Pokemon a far more aggressive look.
“Yes! Nidoran evolved into Nidorino! Let's see what this beast can do! Bring it on Damian!”
Nidorino gave a roar of approval.
“Graveler, use tackle on Nidorino!”
“Double Kick”, replied Mo, looking almost bored. He's down to his weaker Pokemon now. No one has enough time to train 18 Pokemon to be powerful at the same time. Graveler was out immediately, the second kick being barely necessary.
“Alright, here's my superpower weapon! Go Machop! Defend my moon stone!”. The muscle Pokemon flew out, but looked worried. Dada used her Pokedex this time.
“Machop, the Superpower Pokemon. It loves to work out and build its muscles. It is never satisfied, even if it trains hard all day long. This Machop is a young example, the last learned move was Karate Chop”. Dada looked on sadly, knowing this was going to be one-sided.
She turned to Raf. “Another Pokemon Damian is using that is too far out of its depth. Why is he like this?”
“He clearly feels nothing for his Pokemon.” He answered, wanting to say something but not really sure what.
“Karate Chop!” Machop jumped up, its right hand glowing.
I'm not letting the same thing happen to Nidorino as happened to his Squirtle. “Peck!”. Nidorino's horn started to shine bright white as it turned diamond-hard. Just as Machop got close, Nidorino jumped forward, hitting the Machop in the chest. It was a one hit KO, the Machop was simply too weak.
“Already? OK Mo, you'll get the moon stone, but not any of my Pokemon. I'll tell you what: if I beat your Nidorino and whatever else you have before they can beat another four, I'll get to keep the stupid lump of rock. If you win, then each of you gets to pick one of my Pokemon!”
“Deal!” Anything to get as many of these poor Pokemon away from that evil trainer as possible. The moons stone isn't important now.
“Go Diglet! Use magnitude!”
“Jump over it!”
“Astonish”. The Diglet made a shrill sound which seemed to hurt Nidorino somewhat.
“Snap out of it and use Poison Sting!”. The pink darts flew at Diglet, which took the hit. It didn't seem overly bothered.
“Dig”. Diglet disappeared under the surface, leaving Nidorino at a loss – where was Diglet?
Suddenly, it reappeared, hitting Nidorino in the gut from underneath. Ground-type moves being particularly painful for Nidorino, he was on on his last energy reserves. “Then use Double Kick!” shouted Mo.
“Oh no you don't! Fire your Poison Sting into that hole!” Nidorino ran, but Diglet smashed out of the hole just as he appeared, hitting him in the face and knocking him out. “No! Okay Nidorino, you did well. Return and get some rest.”
“So, kid, what Pokemon have you got left? I bet it's really weak, judging by the way all your other Pokemon did!”
“You take that right back! I mean, look at yours! You obviously haven't taken good care of them! You're an embarrassment to yourself and your Pokemon.”
“What? I just catch or buy the strongest Pokemon available, It's not my fault they're all losers!”
Diglet looked sad at those words. It was trying to be good enough for its master! It sighed.
“Anyway, enough talk. Diglet, get ready!”. The Pokemon didn't move.
“Go Spearow! Use Fury Attack on that Diglet!”. Spearow swooped down and attacked Diglet.
“Astonish!”, said Damian, but Diglet refused. Spearow had the time to attack it five times, and it didn't make any attempt at defending itself. “I said Astonish! I'll hurt you I swear!”. Eventually, it tried to use Astonish, but Spearow remained unaffected anyway.
“Now! Aerial ace!”. The Diglet was out.
“Argh! What was that Diglet? You weren't even trying! When this is finished, you're out my team. Useless! Alright, next one up is Jigglypuff!”
“Jigglypuff? Alright, Peck it!”. Spearow's beak began to shine, and it flew into Jigglypuff.
“No! Use Disable!” Jigglypuff clapped its hands, and Spearow had a blank look.
“Guess I'd better not ask for that move again! Alright then use Pursuit this time!”
Jigglypuff dodged and started to run around in circles in panic, but Spearow was not having any of it – the Pursuit was still active. Eventually, Spearow glanced a blow on the back of Jigglypuff's head, causing it to flip forward and land on its back.
“Disable again!”. As the time before, Jigglypuff clapped its hands, causing Spearow some shock as it stared blankly, seemingly desperately trying to remember something. “And use Rollout!”. Before Spearow could shake off the feeling that something horrible had happened to its brain, Jigglypuff came crashing into it, causing it to fall and almost smash into a jagged rock.
“Don't hit the ground! Catch yourself and hit it with Aerial Ace!”. Mere centimeters from the ground, Spearow managed to regain control, swooping back up in a loop and hitting Jigglypuff with considerable force. It bounced back and hit the cave wall, slowly sliding down and falling over face-first. It had clearly given up.
“OK Damian, that's 8! Sure you want to continue?”
“Of course I am! You'll all be able to take a Pokemon that you beat of your choice, other than my Kanto starters. That would be unfair on them.”
“Unfair? You no nothing of fairness!” shouted Mo, flabbergasted that he could even pretend!
“Oh but I do. For example, this here is going to be a fair battle! Magnemite, go!”
“Oh dear. Spearow try to avoid the attacks!”
“Mwahahaha! Don't think I'll let you get away with beating me like this without me causing you some pain first! Magnemite, please use Thundershock as often and as quickly as you can. He can't hurt you anyway!”.
That rat! He tricked me again! I can't believe it!
Spearow was flying erratically, trying to avoid the attacks Magnemite was firing at it in quick succession. Raf and Dada were encouraging it, shouting directions for it to fly in, hoping Spearow would survive the onslaught. Come on you can make it!
“Try an Aerial Ace on it, but keep avoiding the attacks!”. As soon as he said the words, Mo knew it was a mistake. To pick up speed, Spearow needed to fly in a straight line. The first attack hit, before another, and then another, and another. Still Spearow was zooming at Magnemite. The look in its face was intense, it was shaking off the electrical hits and concentrating on hitting the freaky living magnet. Magnemite had charged up again and started firing electricity at Spearow, who was now getting very close to Magnemite. In the lull between attacks, Spearow hit Magnemite full on, smashing it into the ground, which caused even more damage to the electric-type. It couldn't move anymore. Spearow carried on flying until it glided down to the floor, where it finally fainted.
Everyone was quiet. This was an awe-inspiring moment. Spearow was on the floor, wings spread open and wide. Magnemite was half buried in the sand, stuck at a 45 degree angle, the other half looking out. It wasn't moving. Mo started to run to Spearow. Oh my god it took so many hits! I hope it's OK! Damian was kicking the floor in rage, but happy that Mo was finally beaten. He wondered what would have happened if Squirtle had been able to battle Houndour. That would have been an interesting battle! And he was going to complain to Team Rocket! Their Pokemon were sub-par!
Raf just stared. He was tired of all the battling, but hoped that one day, he could tell his kids and grandchildren that he had fought along the famous Mo.
Dada, too, was thinking about what had just happened. She had never seen a Pokemon so devoted to its master apart from Charmander just earlier. That Spearow had gone against all odds to knock out that Magnemite – even if it was clear that the electric Pokemon had still been quite young and inexperienced to be taken out by a Spearow, the win had been unexpected. She hoped that some of that passion would rub off on her Pokemon too, if she stayed with Mo.
Mo picked up Spearow and hugged it before putting it back into its Pokeball. “You were amazing Spearow, simply amazing! You deserve some rest. Now, Damian, what about our bet?”
Damian was already beginning to regret his decision. “Bet? What bet? Do you remember a bet guys? I certainly don't. Nope. Never heard of any bet. Definitely not.”
Mo punched him hard in the gut. Damian collapsed onto his knees. Raf and Dada ran forward, but Mo gestured at them to stop. “I don't think you understand, you worthless Magikarp-dropping. We had a deal, now pay up! You give me the moon stone, and each of us one of these Pokemon, not including your starters. I'm tempted to just take your Charmander because it looks incredibly tough, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt this time. I don't expect it will one day. You'll get a nasty burn. Instead I'll take your Diglet. The others can make their picks.”
Damian looked sad, and embarrassed at being beaten up by a ten year old in front of his so-called friends, who did nothing to help defend him. “Alright, here's the stone. Take that useless Diglet, I'd be surprised if you ever manage to use it for anything other than losing”. He threw the items in front of Mo, who picked them up, smiled and walked away without another word.
“I want Jigglypuff”, said Dada. Damian looked almost delighted when he threw the Pokeball at her viciously. Raf caught it before it hit her in the face.
“Now that wasn't very nice was it?”, asked an overconfident Raf. “Give me your Graveler!”.
“Haha! You mean the one that just went down after one hit? Please, be my guest. Take it!”.
“Thank you”, added a smirking Raf. “I think you probably won't want to challenge us again. Don't worry, we'll take proper care of your Pokemon. Bye!”
And with that, the gang of three strolled off, leaving only a weeping Damian and his two subordinates. Who just smirked at each other, glad to see their boss so destroyed for once. It made a change!
Some time later, just as Mo, Raf and Dada were about to leave the cave, someone came up behind them. “Hey Dada! Wait up!”
“Ryan? Wow! It's been a long time since I've seen you! How are you doing?” she hugged him. Raf turned a deep shade of purple.
“I've just been training Poliwhirl, Sandshrew and Beedrill in there. You know I delayed Pokemon medical school for this? Goodness knows why!”. Mo and Raf just stared. “Um, will you introduce me to these two?” he asked.
“Oh right! Sorry! This is Mo and Raf, they helped me find my Charmander when I lost it early this morning. Now we've found him! And guys, this is Ryan, an old family friend from Pewter City. He wants to be a Pokemon vet!”. This new fact having been revealed instantly gave Mo and Raf a lot more respect for the trendy-looking lad. Mo sized him up.
He was obviously considerably older and taller than them, and his light skin contrasted strongly with his long spiky black hair. He wore a green t-shirt with a blue fireball on it – it was obviously the logo of some sort of band or something. On his black combats were three pokeballs, and he generally looked the business. His dream to be a vet also explained the red bag with a big white cross on it. Meds! We could use some actually.
“Hey Ryan, can you check out our Pokemon? We've just spent ages battling this fool in the caves, and all our Pokemon need a little help”. Mo figured it was worth a try.
“Actually, I'm sorry, I ran out of anything but antidotes and status healers when in there – it was tough going! I can show you where the Pokemon Center is in Cerulean though... Is that OK?”
“Of course! Just lead the way!”
The gang of now four arrived at the Cerulean Pokemon Center a few hours later, with everyone handing in their Pokemon. Nurse Joy was shocked at four people all coming in with hurt Pokemon, and was relieved when none were seriously harmed. Even Spearow was fine. At one stage, she called in Dada, who walked out with a blank face.
“What?”, they all asked.
“She just accused me of mistreating my Pokemon!”
“WHAT?!”, they all exclaimed.
“Jigglypuff. It has marks where someone beat and kicked it. Damian was a real prize ba-”. She was interrupted by Ryan.
“Damian? I met that kid in the mountain, didn't battle him though. What a little brat. Yes, I'm sure that's what you were going to say Dada! Now, anyone else want to get something to eat while the Pokemon get spoiled silly in there? I'll cook!”. Everyone agreed, and they went to the center's kitchens, where trainers were allowed to use the facilities. “You'll love my ravioli!”
The mention of ravioli made Mo smile. He thought about the fact that it hadn't been long at all since he was sitting with a little, insane Houndour on a log eating tinned food. And now he was with three other people he was sure he would be able to trust with his life. He had punched someone, which was a first. He had a badge. He had yet another Pokemon. This was getting really good, and he hoped it would get even better!
If you got this far then... well done :)
Haruka of Hoenn
November 11th, 2009, 07:42 AM
First off, don't post your chapters so closely together. Possible reviewers might be overwhelmed by the mass of text and end up leaving your thread. Give it a week or so between chapters. I find it gives other people a chance to come by your thread and really read it without the feeling of being rushed.
I'll start with your opening paragraph:
One morning, a blond 10 year old boy was awoken by what was obviously quite a large crowd outside his bedroom window. Rubbing his blue eyes, he silently cursed them all and sat up in his bed. Usually, I prefer 'ten' instead of '10', since it seems neater. But that may be just me.
Instead of telling me that the boy was woken by a large crowd, show me that he was woken by a large crowd. You could do this by mentioning loud noises coming from outside, or anything else that you might associate with large crowds. Are the people happy? Are they an angry mob waiting outside his window with pitchforks? See what I mean? Throughout your story, you tend to make this mistake. Show me, don't tell me.
Your battle scenes could use work as well. Again, show me and don't tell me. How do you know the Pokemon is injured? Is it struggling to stand? Is it crying out in pain? You need to work on your description too. Example:
“Cool, I'm Phil and I'm sending out Vulpix! Go!” The Vulpix came out of its pokeball in front of its Master.You could include description while describing action. Like this:
“Cool, I'm Phil and I'm sending out Vulpix! Go!” The Vulpix came out of its pokeball in front of its Master, fanning its bushy tail.Basically, give the reader a good picture of what's going on. Most of us are Pokemon fans, so we know what a Vulpix looks like. Still, it distances the reader from the action if we don't get any information about how the Vulpix looks. Just like wild animals, Pokemon can't be exact copies of one another. Maybe this Vulpix is vain, so it always keeps its fur glossy and carries itself proudly. Or maybe its shy, so it hides its face behind its bushy tail. Just like people, give your okemon a bit of personality. SOme writers do this more than others, but its important to give a hint of a personality, at least.
You have quite a few grammar issues, so I suggest you proofread some more before posting. Spell check is a useful tool, too. Also, you should start a new line every time a new character is speaking. This will help break up blocks of text and make them easier on the eye.
Something was moving in that bush. Out came a rather weak-looking pidgey, and as it saw Mo and Houndour it just stared at them, before fluttering away. Houndour barked after it, but Mo calmed him down. Then Houndour used ember on Mo. Exasperated, Mo put Houndour back into his pokeball again.
As it got dark and clouds started to gather, Mo set up camp. Once he had set up his tent to be fire- and waterproof, he got to work on lighting his camp fire. But it was too windy. Darn it! I'm going to need Houndour... Okay, no worries, this shouldn't be too difficult. Absolutely untrue to his words, Houndour came out and started running around like a child full of sugar. He obviously felt a bit cramped in the pokeball. He was yapping happily, sniffing about, and generally ignoring Mo's “COME RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW” shouts. Eventually, Mo just shouted, “Houndour, ember on that pile of wood!”. Houndour pricked up its ears, looked at mo and the wood, and fired in that general direction. Most of it hit Mo, but some of it reached the wood, and the fire flared up almost instantly. Well, it's a start! Thought Mo, slightly depressed. He decided to put Houndour back into his pokeball again. He made a tin of ravioli that Mary had packed for him. It was far too large for him alone, so he let Houndour out when he was done cooking and gave him a half. Houndour ate his food and had such a huge belly by the end that he could barely move. “Oops, I gave you a bit much there huh? Sorry” Houndour gave a content purr. “Not that you seem to mind.” And with that, they went to sleep, and Mo didn't even put Houndour in his pokeball.
That was a mistake: after all, they were inside the tent, and the ravioli had given Houndour some terrible gas. It stinks of death in here, thought Mo when he woke up with tears in his eyes. Houndour didn't seem to mind, and woke Mo up in a flash with a bit of ember. “Hey Houndour, thanks but can you stop doing that? It really isn't nice.” Houndour seemed to ignore him. The dog-like Pokemon was more concerned with what seemed to be a new arrival: a Rattata scrounging for food around the tent. Houndour chased it around a bit.becomes
Something was moving in that bush. Out came a rather weak-looking pidgey, and as it saw Mo and Houndour it just stared at them, before fluttering away. Houndour barked after it, but Mo calmed him down. Then Houndour used ember on Mo. Exasperated, Mo put Houndour back into his pokeball again.
As it got dark and clouds started to gather, Mo set up camp. Once he had set up his tent to be fire- and waterproof, he got to work on lighting his camp fire. But it was too windy. Darn it! I'm going to need Houndour... Okay, no worries, this shouldn't be too difficult. Absolutely untrue to his words, Houndour came out and started running around like a child full of sugar. He obviously felt a bit cramped in the pokeball. He was yapping happily, sniffing about, and generally ignoring Mo's “COME RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW” shouts.
Eventually, Mo just shouted, “Houndour, ember on that pile of wood!”. Houndour pricked up its ears, looked at mo and the wood, and fired in that general direction.
Most of it hit Mo, but some of it reached the wood, and the fire flared up almost instantly. Well, it's a start! Thought Mo, slightly depressed.
He decided to put Houndour back into his pokeball again. He made a tin of ravioli that Mary had packed for him. It was far too large for him alone, so he let Houndour out when he was done cooking and gave him a half. Houndour ate his food and had such a huge belly by the end that he could barely move.
“Oops, I gave you a bit much there huh? Sorry” Houndour gave a content purr. “Not that you seem to mind.” And with that, they went to sleep, and Mo didn't even put Houndour in his pokeball.
That was a mistake: after all, they were inside the tent, and the ravioli had given Houndour some terrible gas. It stinks of death in here, thought Mo when he woke up with tears in his eyes. Houndour didn't seem to mind, and woke Mo up in a flash with a bit of ember.
“Hey Houndour, thanks but can you stop doing that? It really isn't nice.” Houndour seemed to ignore him. The dog-like Pokemon was more concerned with what seemed to be a new arrival: a Rattata scrounging for food around the tent. Houndour chased it around a bit.
See how much easier it is to read? You can also use spacing to add a certain effect to your story.
I realize that making all these changes takes time, but in the end, a great chapter is worth the wait. Its better to stray off your posting schedule every once in a while to add the finishing touches. Hard work leads to rewards.
Well, that's all I really have to say for now. You have a great story going on so far, but you can make it a lot better. If you have any questions, just ask. Hope I helped, and good luck!
November 13th, 2009, 06:28 PM
Thanks, I know the first few chapters especially are really, really bad and I need to look over them some more. I appreciate you took the time, so I'm gonna work on those right now. I can be as proud as I want to be about the next chapters (which I feel expand the story somewhat), the point is people won't stay if they're bored by the first lines - like me!
The plot does thicken as time goes on, even if it does look fairly simple so far!
By the way I had a question, actually:
What would you think would be a good way of incorporating the anime/ game into the story without repeating something somewhere along the lines of three thousand and five people have already done?
Mind you, if you had the secret you wouldn't share it :D Seriously, simply in terms of expanding a certain part of my story you feel is being neglected. I have a lot written out a already, which is why I posted so many chapters at the same time...
I'll try to be more descriptive in the future! thanks for the review!
November 15th, 2009, 08:44 AM
After an epic triple battle with Damian, the gang are sitting in the Pokemon Center with Ryan, an old family friend of Dada's. Mo, Dada and Raf all got a new Pokemon: Diglett, Jigglypuff and Graveler respectively.
Chapter 9: Spilling the Beans
Ryan worked hard to make the tinned ravioli as good as it could possibly get. Mo was impressed – he'd never tasted something so good out of a tin! Everyone was just wolfing their bowl of food down, stuffing their face until they could eat no more, splattering tomato sauce all over their shirts. They sounded like a family of starved Munchlax in a field of muffins.
“You know Ryan, I could get used to this”, said Mo. “And Dada, you did well in the cave and I think that apart from the incident where I shouted at you, I could easily stay with you a little longer. What I'm saying is, that if it's okay with Raf, I would love to travel with you guys!”
Raf's face was a picture: his smile was at least as big as the moon! “I'm all for it! What do you say guys?”
“Well, it can get kinda lonely going it alone”, answered Ryan. “I'm in!”
“And so am I,” smiled Dada. “I like the way you care about Pokemon! That can only be a good thing! And Raf, you have the purest heart I know!”
Raf blushed as she reached for his hand, and Mo smiled, although he did wonder why he didn't have a pure heart. Ah yes, was probably that punch... Whatever, she doesn't know what she's talking about...
Mo called home, and Professor Oak afterwards. “Ah! This should be good! You could go and visit Bill. Most people don't walk in the direction of his lighthouse at first, but you could take the shortcut over the bridge. Just go North from Cerulean instead of East! Bill could show you a lot about Pokemon, teach you a couple of things! Yes, brilliant idea. I'll call him and tell him you're coming – it shouldn't be too far away at all.” .
Mo walked to his companions after the conversation and told them about the mysterious Bill.
“Well I'm for it”, said Ryan. “Anything to get better at this training. I can take care of Pokemon, but I can't battle at all. Maybe he can show me something?”
“I doubt it”, answered Mo. “He's the guy who invented the PC storage system.”
Raf looked up. “Oh him! He'd be great! He has some great rare Pokemon apparently. Let's go!”
After picking up their Pokemon, the kids left the Pokemon Center and walked northwards. Houndour, as usual, was out of his ball, running around and generally sniffing everything. Butterfree and Beedrill flew overhead, playing in the air. Dada noticed a house had been broken into, but thought nothing of it, assuming that Officer Jenny had it under control (there was a guard outside). As they crossed the bridge out of town, a shadowy figure came towards them.
“Hey you! I challenge one of you to a battle! Yeah, the one with the dog!”
“Alright”, shrugged Mo, pretending to be bored. Actually, he was already bursting to battle again, feeling confident after Damian. Raf had also half-raised his hand, but figured it would be best to let Mo take care of things with this guy. He looked dangerous.
“Alright! Then it's a two on two battle, no changing!”. Mo nodded. “Then I'll go first! Bellsprout, show me what you got!”
“Oh dear. Houndour, you show them what you got!” shouted Mo. Damian had one of those! “Use Ember!”. Bellsprout was hit by the little flame darts and fell backwards, overwhelmed and singed.
“What? What the Heck is that thing?! I've never seen one of those! What's it called? Houndour? How was I supposed to know it knew fire-type attacks! You cheated!” The guy was frothing at the mouth, enraged at the easy defeat of his Pokemon. “Raticate! You can do this! Hyper Fang!”
The Raticate attacked Houndour as soon as it was out of its Pokeball, biting hard on his nose. Houndour gave a yelp of pain and ran back, before Mo shouted. “Use Ember on that overgrown mouse too!”
Again a volley of fire flew, but this time Raticate was ready and just dodged it without any order. “You'll have to do better than that. Crunch!”
It had a devastating effect on Houndour, even if it was a dark-type move. The Raticate was simply too strong, and Houndour collapsed. This was something of a conundrum for Mo, as he was ill-equipped to deal with Raticate – until he realized he had a new member.
“Houndour, super job, well done! Diglett, this is your first battle for me and I need you at your best! Show me something to impress!”
The Pokemon sprang out of the Pokeball and immediately half-buried itself into the ground – no one had seen its little feet or hands it was so fast. The odd Pokemon just glared at Raticate, ready, willing to impress its new master.
“Use Magnitude!”. Having clearly taken Mo's encouragement to heart, Diglett caused a massive shockwave to travel through the ground at Raticate, who was powerless to dodge it. Mo's Pokedex chimed in: “Magnitude 10. Has a 5% chance of occurring, but deals massive damage”.
The assessment was correct: Raticate was out. The dark guy sighed and recalled his Pokemon. Only then did Mo notice that he looked incredibly shifty: his eyes kept darting from side to side as if he were constantly on the lookout for danger. The tall and lanky man was no older than in his mid-twenties, but he already looked wrinkled and scarred.
“Well, you passed the test kid. You would be welcomed into our organization with open arms!”
“What organization?” Asked a confused Dada.
“Well, I'll answer that even if you're not actually invited. The most effective, elusive, impressive, powerful, resourceful gang of them all! Team Rocket of course!”
The four gasped in shock. “Mo! Surely you wouldn't?...” asked a worried Raf. Mo smirked.
“No, I wouldn't. It sounds tempting, being the kind of low-life Giovanni sends out to recruit young children or steal their Pokemon.” He paused. “Not! Diglett, use Dig.”
Diglett reappeared underneath the Team Rocket recruiter, colliding with him and causing him to fly off into the distance in a cloud of dust. He disappeared into the distance.
After Ryan had fixed up Houndour, the gang were on their way to Bill's again; soon enough they were walking along the beach, all Pokemon out. Poliwhirl and Sandshrew finally got to meet the others, and it was quite a sight to see 13 Pokemon out at the same time. Mankey climbed up a coconut tree and threw one down at a thirsty-looking Raf, who of course couldn't open it. Beedrill came along and stung the top of the coconut, making a perfect hole for Raf to drink from. He shared it out amongst the others, who had all never tasted its fresh milk.
“It doesn't taste anything like a Boonty!” Remarked Dada. The famous chocolate brand had been lying all along!
Spearow flew down to Mo, barking. Yes, a bird that barks. I've seen it all. Although of course he hadn't, because the next thing he knew it was obviously bugging him for some sort of job – it didn't want to play.
“Go scout ahead and come back when you see the lighthouse,” Mo ordered, not really sure what else to say. Spearow looked at him and cocked its head sideways, clearly delighted to have a mission for its master. It took only seconds for Beedrill to join in and challenge Spearow to a race. The took off at full speed.
“So Mo, I'd be interested to hear the story of how you got Houndour,” asked Ryan. Dada and Raf agreed. “I mean, did you pay for it to get imported? Do you have a trainer in the family?”
“Yeah, come on! Tell us! I want one!” half-joked Raf. Mo thought about it for a moment, wondering whether he should make up some inane story or tell the truth. Figuring they would find out eventually anyway, he decided to go for the latter option.
“Well, guys, I got it because it was my father's favorite type of Pokemon. I don't really know much about him since he died before I could even remember him, but Professor Oak seemed to think it would be a good idea. And it was! Look at us! We're awesome!” Dada, Raf and Ryan looked crestfallen. They hadn't expected such a sad answer.
“You never knew your Dad? Man that must have been hard, especially for your Mom!” Said Dada, trying to ease the awkward situation.
“She died at the same time. It was a car crash”. This made the silence even worse, but there was no time for quiet reflection. The ground began to rumble and a huge machine crashed out of the sand with a loud bang. It looked like a gigantic black drill on caterpillar tracks, and had two giant pink Rs painted on its sides. The sand had been thrown up in the air and got into the kids' eyes.
“We've finally found you, you waste of space!” Challenged a male voice.
“I must say, it was quite a chase!” Continued another voice, this time a woman's.
There was a pause as a hatch on the top was opened with some strenuous effort. After much banging and heaving, out hopped two figures, dressed in the typical black uniform. They were sweating profusely.
“Team Rocket wants your Pokemon, give'em up now!”
“Do it quickly, or we'll show you how!”
“Surrender now or prepare to fight!” Jack looked over at Jill. “You know, I love putting the Team Rocket motto at the end, I think those lessons on public relations we had were a golden idea by Giovanni, I mean now at least there's a little bit of consistency between all the different strike teams!”
“Stop wasting time Jack, and apply the hose!” grumbled Jill. Jack flipped a switch, and a gigantic tube came out of the machine, sucking all of the kids' Pokemon inside it and nearly taking Dada away, had Raf and Ryan not grabbed hold of her.
“No!” shouted the four in unison.
“Thanks for the Pokemon guys!” The two saluted and activated another switch, which caused a massive Magikarp-shaped balloon to grow above their heads. Jill just couldn't resist leaning over the side and blowing a kiss. “Tata for now!” as the balloon was rising.
All four ran after the obviously extremely slow balloon – it was, after all, carrying a heavy mechanical digger of rather epic proportions. “Why are we so slow?” asked Jill.
“Well we can't just leave the Mk II Superdrill there, they might use it against us!”
“Forget the Mark Two! We need to get outta here!”
“For 11 puny Pokemon? Be serious!” Jill looked mollified at that remark, but obviously not entirely convinced. “They'll give up eventually Jill, don't worry about it!”
A shout gave them a nasty shock. “Spearow use Aerial Ace!”. Mere seconds later, there were two huge holes in the balloon the bird had torn through. Jack and Jill started blowing into it from underneath, but it was no use. They crashed.
“Now wait! This is all a misunderstanding!” Pleaded a somewhat dazed Jill when she saw the four children standing above her. She was dizzily stumbling from side to side, and Jack was still knocked out – a huge bump on his forehead confirmed that!
“Oh yeah? Then maybe you'll understand this. Beedrill, Twineedle!” Shouted Ryan. He was glad they'd sent Spearow and Beedrill out to scout ahead, otherwise this would have taken a lot longer.
The two needle-arms that Beedrill had were stretched forward as it charged at the two Team Rocket members like a missile. The cloud of dust obscured exactly what happened, but a twinkle in the sky indicated that Team Rocket were out of business for now. The team picked up their pokeballs and checked out the Mk II Superdrill. Its main problem was that it was pedal-powered, so any suggestion of using it was quickly dismissed as idiotic.
Mo was looking through the glove-compartment when he saw something that intrigued him. It was a picture of an obviously small Pokemon with a cat-like face, beige fur and a long tail, hovering upside down. “Guys, what's this?”. The others shuffled over.
Ryan said “That's definitely not a Meowth.”
“Thanks, Captain Obvious. Any other suggestions?” The others shook their head. “I'll show it to Bill, maybe he'll know?”
It was late when they arrived, the sun beginning to set by the lighthouse. They rang the bell, and a skinny young man with shaggy brown hair opened the door. “Yes?” he asked, his glasses sliding down the ridge of his nose.
“Yeah, um, we're friends of Professor Oak's and he told us we should pop by to see you – and that he would warn you. I'm Mo and this is Houndour, and these are my friends Raf, Dada and Ryan!”
“Oh! It's you guys! Please come in! I had given up hope you'd ever come Mo, I've always wanted to meet you.” Mo looked surprised. “Oh, sorry, I knew your parents. You know before, erm, well I'm sure you know before when. Before the ambush.” He smiled weekly at Mo, who thought for a second he hadn't heard right.
“Ambush? What ambush? My parents died in a car crash!”
Had Mo and the others paid more attention then, they would have noticed Bill tapping his foot. That was his giveaway, but they didn't know that. “Oh sorry, yes, car crash, ambush, I'm just getting mixed up these days. Anyway, let's have a look at your Pokemon guys! Houndour come here, I want to have a good look at you.”
They all let out their Pokemon, Bill praising them all. He was happy to see Jigglypuff there – his favorite after Clefairy, although he tried not to think of the time he got turned into one.
“You're all raising your Pokemon very well, I'm surprised at how strong they are after so few days. And Mo, that Houndour of yours is very special! Here, feed it this lump of charcoal. It will make his fire attacks even more powerful.”
“Gee thanks Bill! Really nice of you. Can we get something to eat too?” Asked Mo as the four stomachs collectively roared.
They all ate in Bill's rather large dining hall, before moving on to small chat. Eventually Bill, who had noticed that the kids were thinking of something, or of a way to ask something, could take it no longer. “What is it Mo? What is it what you want to ask me? There isn't much I can tell you about your parents that you won't already know, I'm sorry.”
“This isn't about my parents”, answered a frank Mo, although he was surprised at their mention. “We found this picture of a Pokemon and wondered if you could tell us which it is?” Mo handed him the photo.
Bill eyed the photo for a split second and his face blanched as he recognized the Pokemon. “Oh my. Where did you get this?”
“From Team Rocket – they don't know we have it.”
“If this is true, then it is the most astonishing discovery ever made. It is proof that Mew exists! This would be even more important than my very own project!”
“Mew? What's a Mew?” asked Dada wide-eyed.
“It is said to be the hardest Pokemon to find, since it will only appear to those who are pure of heart. It has never been caught, and is thought to be related to every species of Pokemon in existence! To attract it, no one knows what could work, although some people have suggested lullabies for some reason. Until now I had only seen drawings!”
The four kids looked at each other. “Amazing! But why would Team Rocket have this picture then?” asked Ryan, worried.
“Good question, but I can guarantee they're up to no good. Don't trust these guys! Ever!” Snarled a stern Bill. He looked angry, but sad as he saw Mo, as if a memory was flashing by him.
“Well guys, I hope I helped! I think it's time to call it a night don't you?”
“OK Bill, see you tomorrow morning!”
And with that, they all strolled off to sleep.
Why did he talk to me about an ambush? What ambush? What's the deal with that? And why does he hate Team Rocket so badly? He seemed like a calm guy to me! Oh well, I'd better sleep – big day tomorrow! Hopefully I can challenge the gym in Cerulean. I wonder who I should use for that battle? We'll see.
Mo was plagued by these thoughts as he tried to get to sleep. When he eventually did fall into a deep slumber, it was already getting light outside.
November 30th, 2009, 05:53 AM
Yes yes I know it's been a long time since I updated this, but I hope those who enjoyed it can get back into it. I have a lot of work for uni, please forgive me. This chapter aims to reawaken your interest, if it was ever there.
Chapter 10: Project Mewtwo
The sun was shining, the Pidgey were singing and the air could not have been fresher. The four were happily sleeping in Bill's guest room, where he had two bunk-beds. The look on the kids' faces was so peaceful that Bill couldn't help but smile. He smirked as he lifted the pan up in one hand and got ready to hit it with a big spoon. Slowly does it, this is going to be excellent! He breathed in deeply in gleeful anticipation, until finally he could take it no more and started beating the pan as hard and quickly as he could.
Everyone screamed, jumped up and banged their head on the ceiling or bunk above them, and Mo shouted: “What's going on!”
“Wake up sleepy-heads! I have work to do and I still want to be able to chat with you. I've got a couple of things to show you.” He gave a huge toothy grin as he saw the pure rage being directed towards him at that moment. “Also, breakfast is ready. Bacon, eggs, pancakes, fruit, pastries... You name it, I've got it!”
“But... why did you have to wake us up like this Bill?” asked a groggy Dada.
“Because it's funny,” was his simple answer. “Now go down and eat.”
Mo, Dada, Raf and Ryan all shuffled their way down into the dining room, and immediately perked up when they saw the lavish preparations that had been made for their dinner. On the sides were dishes specially made for their Pokemon too! Bill explained which food was for which Pokemon, as he had decided to spoil them all individually. Mo laughed and threw his Pokeballs into the air.
“Houndour, Diglett, Nidorino and Spearow, go have your breakfast! Bill has made something special for you guys!”
The Pokemon licked their lips and Diglett refrained from digging a whole in Bill's house. It was odd seeing the Pokemon out of the ground. It looked like a sausage with two tiny legs and hands – a Sudowoodo without the branches. Dada let out Charmander, Mankey and Jigglypuff, Raf let out Saurus, Peepee and Graveler – who was now called Rocky, much to his friends' dismay – and Ryan let out Beedrill, Sandshrew and Poliwhirl. All were obviously enjoying their specially prepared meals, so Bill took them to the table.
“Now kids, there is something I need to talk to you about”, said Bill earnestly, “and yes that includes you Ryan, even if you are older than the others. I realize that all of you have a specific dream, a direction you want to take, and I want to give all of you a little tip for that respective dream, in Private. Before that, let me tell you about this Mew picture you found with Team Rocket. I don't think you understand quite how groundbreaking your discovery is. I did a bit of research in the Pokenet and could not find a single documented case of a Mew ever being photographed. The only things that exist are sculptures on walls far away from Kanto, and it worried me that Team Rocket are the ones to have managed to do it first, so I decided to, erm, 'find' myself in their network and had a snoop around. I thought you should know: this is actually a computer-generated image of what Mew would look like, taken from its DNA”.
All of the kids stared at him blankly. So Bill hacked himself into the Team Rocket network and found a 3D picture? So what?
“Okay I don't think you understand how important this is.” Bill slid his glasses back up his nose as he started speaking more and more quickly and excitedly. “No one has ever found any of Mew's DNA. Until recently, Team Rocket finding it first – and might I add they are still the only ones to have found it – wouldn't have been a problem. These days however, there are ways of creating Pokemon from only their DNA. If they manage to get their hands on this technology, they could quite easily create another Mew. They would have more power at their fingertips than anyone before them has ever had before.”
This time, the fear showed in the kids' faces. “But if you could hack your way in, couldn't you just delete all the data they have? I mean it might slow them down...” remarked Mo.
“You're very good for a 10 year old, Mo. Yes, that's exactly what I did.” Bill sniggered as he paused. “I permanently destroyed all the work they have done this far, but that will only slow them down since they still have the DNA somewhere. They have already learned from their mistake: the network is completely shut, there is no longer the possibility, at least for now, of hacking your way in. I think more annoyingly for them I also deleted all the programs they used to decode the DNA, and stole any information I could. I will pour over it for the next couple of months, it is very plentiful, and keep you updated. After all, without you I would never have known about this.”
“That's very good of you, Bill. Anything we can do to help, call us!” said Raf, who seemed slightly more agitated about this than anyone else.
“Anyway, now to the private stuff. I want to speak to each of you in turn in my office. Dada, you come with me first”, and he led her out of the room into his office, leaving the others in stunned silence. Their discovery in the Team Rocket machine had been a lot more significant than they had thought.
Meanwhile, somewhere in a gigantic building, a scientist was walking circles outside a huge wooden door. “How could this happen? How could anyone have found out about Project Mewtwo?” he mumbled desperately.
After what seemed like far too long – although in reality it was a mere three minutes – the woman at the desk picked up the phone and put it down after a a couple of seconds. She was officially the secretary, but he was under no illusions – she could snap his neck easily if she so wished. “You can go in now, the boss is impatient to hear of your progress and why you are bothering him at this time”. She smirked as he walked to face his fear.
“Ah, my favorite scientist has come on a visit. Tell me doctor, how is your project coming along?” beamed the huge, imposing and at least slightly psychotic Giovanni. He seemed to be a in a good mood. The scientist took in his surroundings: shelves filled with books, lavish carpet, a beautiful desk with a gigantic window looking over a nice view, a large Persian lying on the floor and finally what were rather obviously the marks of bloodstained hands on the floor. He gulped.
“Sir, we've run into some problems...”
Giovanni's smile disappeared and turned into a frown. “Tell me.”
“It seems that someone breached the firewall of our network and accessed the project file. I'm still not sure how they did it. Whoever they were they must have been very good.” Sweat was pouring down the scientist's face and his glasses slid down his nose. He pushed them back up.
“So someone has seen the file?” asked the boss. “It's not good, but it's not the end of the world. I'll send my team of crack hackers to find whoever accessed the files and I'll... make sure they don't talk. You're dismissed, keep working on Project Mewtwo.” growled Giovanni. He noticed that scientist wasn't leaving the room. “What else?” he barked impatiently. “Spill it!”
The scientist thought for a second about leaving and just fleeing, disappearing, but he knew Team Rocket would find him eventually – assuming he made it out of this room - so he answered instead: “Whoever hacked into the system managed to gain admin privileges. Admin privileges allow one to edit the information that is present, and to control the computer.”
“So what? Change what he changed back, there's a log of changes on the backups.” Answered Giovanni, but he was a little worried, since despite his incompetence the scientist would have thought of that.
“Not possible sir. The hacker uploaded some sort of program. It deleted everything in seconds, including the back-ups. He was very clever: when we tried to access the normally perfectly secure backups to restore our work, his program accessed them after we switched off the Firewall and deleted them in front of our very eyes.”
“You idiots! At least we still have the DNA, at least that can't be stolen!” shouted Giovanni.
“That is correct sir.”
“Then get back to decoding it!” he shouted the order, and still the scientist would not leave. His eyes seemed to be filled with a raging inferno as he glared at his 'top' scientist. “What else happened?”
“Sir, the hacker also overloaded several computers. They are completely out of action, fried – including the network computer, so we have no way of ever finding out who did this. Also, he deleted the decoding software. It will take months to re-calibrate it so that it can start decoding Mew's DNA again. At least I have some private calculations still on my notepad, so that means it won't take years like it did before. Probably only one, maybe two at the most.”
Giovanni was in shock. This had been a full-blown attack on his servers and there would be nothing he could do about it, since couldn't find out who it was. “Alright, here's what we'll do: the entire research team is being sent to the island earlier than planned. You will carry out the research there from now on, and I don't care that you will be away from your families, is that clear? You should consider yourself lucky to be alive. I will look into this matter myself. Now, if there's nothing else, go get busy! You have a week until you leave.”
The scientist bowed and walked out backwards, never turning his back until he reached the door.. He was relieved at the prospect of living his life to the fullest as soon as this damned project could be finished and his gambling debts to Team Rocket could be repaid. The wife would understand his departure, but the kids might not.
Never mind. I will finish this project, even if it's the last thing I do!
Dada walked out of Bill's office with a huge smile on her face. Her Charmander now had a little pink ribbon on its head.
“Hey,” said Mo. “What's that?”
“It's a ribbon to make Charmander look cuter in contests. He gave me loads of accessories I can use, and he uploaded a load of contest videos to my Pokedex so that I've got an idea of how they work as well as giving me some tips. I can't wait to get started on practicing,” she answered. “Ryan, he wants to see you next!”
Cool! It looks like he's giving us all some tips and is being extra-generous to us all. Bill's a class act, I hope I get something cool too! Mind you, I already have that charcoal for Houndour.
As Ryan walked to the office, Raf suggested that they go outside for some air and a bit of battle practice. Dada and Mo agreed.
The trio walked into Bill's garden and looked out into the sea.
“This is such a beautiful place. I can understand why Bill would like to live here,” remarked Dada, dreamy-eyed. She shook her head, as if snapping out of a trance. “Raf! I challenge you to a battle!”
“I accept your challenge Dada! Mo, would you be so kind as to referee?”
Hey! I wanted to battle! Mo grumbled, but accepted. “Raf, since you are the challenged party in this match, you may choose your first Pokemon. This is a 3 on 3!”
“Alright! Rocky, show me what you can do!” shouted Raf excitedly. He was desperate to prove to Dada that he was the better trainer.
“Alright then! Mankey, it's show-time!”
Both Pokemon gave their respective growls as they eyed each other. Raf was immediately worried: Rocky had a disadvantage against Mankey. “Rocky! Use magnitude!”
The Graveler punched the ground hard, sending a shockwave towards the waiting Mankey. It took the full brunt of the attack, getting thrown into the air and landing on its back.
“Mankey, get up and use a low kick.” Mankey ran towards Graveler as fast as it could.
The attack caused Rocky to fall over, but it managed to protect himself from most of the damage by rolling as he landed. Had it landed awkwardly its weight would have been a problem.
“Now do a Karate Chop!” ordered Dada. Mankey jumped up at least six feet and raised its hand, ready to chop down.
“Rock Throw!” Graveler reached for the nearest rocks on the floor and threw them in Mankey's direction, who easily avoided them with a flip and landed a critical hit on top of Rocky's head. It was dizzy from the attack, and Dada used her opportunity.
“Use another low kick,” she said. “He'll fall over!”
It worked, and Rocky stopped moving after landing flat on its face.
Mo pointed towards Rocky: “Graveler is unable to battle. Mankey wins this round.”
“Nice try Graveler, you tried your hardest and I'm proud,” started Rafi as he recalled his fainted Pokemon. Then he looked up with a smirk and a glint in his eye. “Go Peepee! Show me what you got!” The Butterfree burst out of its Pokeball and flew out with its battle cry, flapping its wings quickly.
“Mankey, Karate Chop!”
“Fly a bit higher and cover it with Sleep Powder!”
The Karate Chop missed because Mankey couldn't reach that high, and Butterfree released a spore that hit Mankey and caused it to fall into a deep slumber. Before Dada could make Mankey return, Raf shouted his next order.
Mankey was hit by the powerful wind and landed several feet away, out for the count due to the super effective attack..
“Mankey is unable to battle. Butterfree wins this round”. Mo was enjoying the match, as he could see that his traveling companions were taking this seriously.
“Sorry Mankey, there was nothing you could do! However, two can play at this game,” smirked Dada. “Jigglypuff, it's show-time! Sing for me!”
The ball-shaped Pokemon immediately started singing as it came out of its Pokeball, but Raf was ready. “Stun Spore!”
Jigglypuff suddenly couldn't sing anymore. It was paralyzed, and Raf wasted no time in taking advantage out of the situation. “Confusion!”
Butterfree's eyes changed color and Jigglypuff was surrounded by a blue haze as it was thrown up into the air and smashed into the ground several times. It was enough to make the poor thing give up.
“Jigglypuff is unable to battle. Butterfree wins this round”. Jigglypuff is still too weak to be battling a powerful Pokemon like Butterfree. But that's Damian's fault, not Dada's.
“Jigglypuff, you really did well. Have some rest, you'll get better. Okay then Raf! Charmander, it's show-time!”
Raf had been dreading this moment. He had nothing to counter fire Pokemon apart from Graveler, who couldn't fight anymore. “Peepee, use Confusion again!”. As Butterfree's eyes started to glow, Dada gave her order.
“Ember!” The flame darts flew towards an unprepared Butterfree and hit it, making the Pokemon erupt in a cloud of smoke. The Charmander smirked as Butterfree crashed into the ground.
“Peepee are you okay? Yes? Good. Use Gust!”
The violent wing-flapping caused another powerful gust of wind which hit Charmander, who was able to stay upright by digging into the ground with the claws on its back feet. “Scratch it, it's not even strong enough to fly properly anymore!”
True to Dada's words, Butterfree was in a sad state and could not avoid the attack, taking a vicious slash to the face that made it spin around twice before hitting the ground hard with a shriek. It was down.
“Butterfree is unable to battle. Charmander wins the round.”
“Well done Peepee, you took out two of her Pokemon. I couldn't possibly ask for more! Saurus, show them what you've got!” The Bulbasaur came out and immediately balked as it saw its opponent. “Don't worry, you've beaten one before, remember?” These words seemed to reassure the grass-type a little bit, but it knew it had beaten a baby Charmander, not a trained one.
“Alright then, Razor Leaf!”
The two attacks met in the middle and canceled each other out, causing little puffs of smoke to appear wherever a sharp leaf hit a fire dart.
The two Pokemon met in the middle and started a vicious fight. Charmander scratched Bulbasaur again and again, who in turn knocked his attacker over repeatedly. A stalemate had been reached.
I need to find a way out of this, thought Raf. “Saurus, use Vine Whip!” Bulbasaur moved back several steps and extended two grass tendrils that took a hold of Charmander and lifted it up into the air.
“Oh no! Ember Charmander, Ember!” shouted a worried Dada.
“Razor Leaf again, don't let go of Charmander!” ordered Raf, as once again a cloud of smoke appeared, blocking his view of Charmander. Just then, Bulbasaur started to glow bright white for several seconds as it evolved into Ivysaur. The bulb on its back opened, and it had grown several inches. “Awesome!” cried a gleeful Raf.
At the same time, Dada watched in horror as Charmander was suspended several feet in the air. She couldn't see Bulbasaur, so she assumed that he couldn't see her. Just then, Charmander began to glow brightly and evolved into Charmeleon. “I win,” she declared.
I can't believe it! Both at the same time?, thought the referee, the only one who could see everything going on.. The smoke cleared and both battlers stared at each other in astonishment. Dada was the first to get over her shock as she remembered her research into Charmeleon's move-pool.
“Dragon Rage, Charmeleon!” The blue and white flames shot out of its mouth just as Ivysaur decided that it was time to slam its opponent into the ground, which it did with considerable force. It then got hit by the attack and fell over sideways, singed and knocked out. Charmeleon was in no better state however, and was lying on its stomach, face-down and eyes closed.
“Both Pokemon are unable to battle. I declare this match a draw!” cheered Mo. “You guys did an awesome job!”
Both trainers ran to their newly evolved Pokemon, and hugged them. “Well done Saurus, you were simply magnificent!” exclaimed Raf.
“You too Charmeleon. I'm sorry I let you down,” whispered Dada as Charmeleon slowly regained consciousness.
Ryan and Bill were clapping from above, having watched the match from a distance. Bill turned to the teenager next to him. “Ryan, you can start your studies by trying to take a look at these guys. You've got the tools now! Raf, leave your Pokemon with Ryan and come up here please!” Raf did as he was told and jogged up to Bill's office, as he had gone on ahead.
“Hey Dada, that was a really cool battle. Let me have a look at your Pokemon and I'll sort them out. Bill gave me this scanner, it allows me to see what is wrong with a Pokemon in a couple of seconds. Genius!” Ryan was clearly pleased after his chat with Bill.
“Ryan, do you fancy a battle with me?” asked a hopeful Mo. Ryan shook his head.
“I don't want to battle now Mo, I'm sorry. I need to take care of these guys and you'll need to have your talk with Bill when Raf comes back. I'm pretty sure he's got something pretty special lined up for you.”
Oh man. I wanted to practice a little bit too, and I've never seen Ryan battle really. Another time I'm sure.
The three sat around talking about how generous Bill was and Mo watched as Ryan sprayed something gray and gooey on Graveler. “What is that stuff?” he asked.
“That's a potion developed specifically for rock-type Pokemon. It contains minerals that help its rocky skin get tougher again and fix faster,” he answered. “I want to be able to perform perfect first aid on Pokemon. I think I'll be a traveling vet with you guys, helping people as we move through Kanto”.
“That's a great idea Ryan, I'm sure you'll be a great help to all of us and other random people we meet.”
Raf was back already. He was holding an odd-looking Pokeball.
“What's that?” asked Dada, interested.
“That, my dear friends,” answered Raf. “Is a Masterball. Bill says it can capture any Pokemon alive!” The others stared in disbelief. “He says I'll know when the time is right to use it. Apparently, I probably won't even need it for a year or two, but when I do I'll be happy I've got it. Not many people get something like this!”
Everyone nodded, Mo burning up in jealousy. This was unfair. He'd received a piece of charcoal, and Raf got a Masterball? No way man.
“Mo, go up, Bill wants to speak to you before we leave too.”
Mo was annoyed, but decided that he'd honor Bill's word. After all, the guy really had been generous to them all from the time they arrived.
Giovanni picked up the phone, dialed a number and tapped his fingers on the table as he waited for an answer. After what seemed like an eternity, a strong woman's voice answered.
“Yes Sir, please excuse the delay in picking up. I had an... issue to deal with, but I'm all yours now”.
“Good. I trust everything went to plan?” His deep voice had a menacing tone to it.
“Not exactly-” she answered, but was interrupted.
“What do you mean, not exactly?” boomed Giovanni.
“I had to teach an interfering Officer Jenny not to interfere in Team Rocket's plans again,” she gave a slight pause. “Ever”.
“My my, you are a ruthless soul aren't you, my dear Jane,” he smirked, calming down. “Some day I'll probably have to watch out”.
“You know that won't be necessary Sir.” Jane was obviously enjoying that idea somewhat herself – he could actually hear her smirk..
“Anyway, listen. I have a little hunt for you to go on. A very different kind than the usual, in that this time you're hunting for a leak. A leak in my organization that cannot be forgiven. I'll send you the details, I trust you won't let me down like my other useless agents.”
“Of course, I'll take care of it right now Sir. About right now: I'll send the package through for your inspection in an hour, when I arrive back at our base here. Over and out”.
Giovanni put the phone down again. She really was a piece of work, this Pokemon hunter. Jane looked distinctly like material for a promotion.
Mo sat down on the chair, looking at Bill across the desk. He in turn was obviously scrutinizing him, looking for any sign of what Mo was thinking. I wish he would stop it and get on with it.
“Now Mo, as we discussed before, you said you wanted to become a Ranger, is that still your ambition?” Bill leaned forward on his desk, resting his elbows on it and putting fingertip to fingertip.
“Well yes,” he replied. “I've always dreamed of protecting Pokemon from organizations like Team Rocket. They are vile groups that need to be fought against, and I don't just mean defended. I mean with strikes on their facilities. If we just sit there and take it they'll never stop.”
Bill raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Mo, you're very intelligent for a boy your age, but you have to learn the virtue of patience. Rangers do not merely battle against criminal organizations. They help Pokemon in need, whatever that need happens to be. This is fundamentally different to what you are suggesting.”
Mo wasn't really happy about this. He had not come here to be lectured, but he understood what Bill was saying. What he wanted was not being a Ranger. It was being something very different indeed. A sort of agent. “Well Rangers go on secret missions against organizations too! I've seen it. This guy once fought against an entire sub-marine of hunters!”
“There's your clue: hunters. But he was rescuing Pokemon from them who had already been abducted.”
“Only because he failed to foil the hunters' plans before they were set into action!”
Bill sighed. “Okay Mo, maybe you just need time. What I will suggest, and I think you might agree, is that whenever you feel you're done in Kanto you go to Sinnoh before going to Hoenn or Johto,” he said. Mo looked interested. “The reason for this is that I believe Sinnoh will offer you and especially your friends more chance to develop as trainers or whatever you want to be. Then maybe you will be able to decide what to do with your lives.”
Mo didn't really know why this mattered, but he'd already basically decided to disregard this advice. Johto was clearly going to be the next place to go – after the Orange Islands even, perhaps. This was all too far away to think about. “I appreciate your advice Bill, really. Thanks a lot for all your help”.
“I'm not done yet. There is one more matter I would like you to look into for me. It's about this Mewtwo thing. I am very worried. You constantly need to be on the lookout for signs of what Team Rocket is up to on this or anything else. If you find out anything – and I mean anything at all, because you may not know of its importance – send it to me. I may need your help in this one day, do you promise to help me?” The question came across as an honest one, and took Mo by surprise.
“Well, sure but why me? I am not a powerful trainer who could help much,” he said. “What could I possibly do in the fight against elite Team Rocket agents?”
“Believe me, you'll have a role to play in this, just like someone will have a role to play in my search for the mysterious Pokemon that appeared here”.
Mo frowned. “I think you have me mistaken for someone else”.
Bill was getting a bit annoyed. “No, I know you are Mark and Janet's son and my god will you do them proud. They were top trainers, and so will you be.”
At the mention of his parents Mo stiffened up. This guy knew his parents and was willing to say more than the others. He decided to chance it. “Bill, you said yesterday that my parents died in an ambush, and not a car crash. What did you mean by that?”
A big drop of sweat appeared on Bill's head as he remembered his faux-pas from the day before. “Mo, I think next time you're home you need to have a long chat with your adoptive parents and Professor Oak. That is all I have to say about that.” Bill thought he had done pretty well to avoid the question, but as soon as he saw Mo's face he realized that it had re-opened an old wound. “Believe me, your parents were brave people. I was quite young when they were around, but I remember them clearly.”
Mo's eyes started filling with tears. “I have no idea why people have kept this from me. Why hide the truth? Why do you still hide it?”
Bill got up and walked to a cabinet, which he opened. He reached inside, took out a dusty-looking Pokeball and sat back down at his desk. He looked at Mo intently, who was already wiping the last of his tears away and sniffing the snot back into his nose. Finally, he spoke again.
“Mo, have you ever wondered what happens to peoples' Pokemon when they die?”
“Erm, no”, answered Mo uncomfortably. “But I know what happens to dead Pokemon”.
“Yes, dead Pokemon are buried in the Pokemon Tower, but it happens quite often that they outlive their owners. Normally what happens is that they are released back into the wild. Many of them visit their former owner's grave very often, but there are others who refuse to leave their trainer's side even after death. In this Pokeball lives exactly such a Pokemon. It belonged to your father.”
Mo stared in disbelief. Was he really about to see a Pokemon that had actually been, and not just been the favorite type of, his father's? “Show me, please!”
Bill smiled. “You know, this little guy has been grieving the death of your parents for ten years. He has only ever come out of his Pokeball for food once a week and has not been outside in nature since he is here.” Bill threw the Pokeball into the air, and with a flash of light a Pokemon appeared. “Say hi to your new Pokemon Mo!”
What Pokemon is Mo about to receive from Bill? Yes I know it's been moving along a bit slowly lately, but I want a good base to continue the story from. Yes, the Jane Giovanni's been speaking to is in fact the one you all know as the Pokemon-hunter Jane of Sinnoh. I've decided to start a little back story for her on the side.
December 3rd, 2009, 07:51 AM
I just read chapter one. I don't have time right this minute to read the whole thing, but in my professional opinion, the most important part of the story is the first part.
Reading through your first chapter, it seems childish. I don't know if you intended this for the younger (5/6/7 year old) crowd, or just got caught up in the writing, or are 5/6/7 years old yourself, the plot hooks (which are very lacking...I'll get to this later.), descriptions, and emotional depth seemed aimed towards that lower range. Yes, I know that this is a fanfic and not for publishing or whatever, but it doesn't really matter and I'm going to treat it like something you're planning to publish.
10 and not ten
Duvet - wait, what?
You need to make a decision - who are you writing this book for and do you really want them all to have to use a dictionary to get through it?
There's nothing here to catch my attention.
One morning, a blond 10 year old boy was awoken by what was obviously quite a large crowd outside his bedroom window. Rubbing his blue eyes, he silently cursed them all and sat up in his bed. He looked around his small, simply laid out room. Nothing had changed: the same boring beige curtains, the same boring dark green duvet and the same gray walls with the only added decoration being a simple desk which, as usual, was filled with a chaos of papers, pencils, scissors and empty wrappers of his addiction: chocolate. Above his desk was a framed picture of his parents and himself as a baby. The young boy had no memory of his parents, who had come to Pallet Town a long time ago from their mountainous homeland, Osutaria, and died in a car crash barely a week before his first birthday. As if on cue, his adoptive mother, Mary, called from downstairs.
These are the words that should be catching my attention.
I will be patronizing enough to read your entire first sentence.
So you're talking about some nameless blond kid. He has no name, stature, skin tone, clothing, face shape, or reason to exist. He was awoken by a large crowd that has no reason for existence, mood, purpose, direction, location (I know they're outside his window, but where is this window? Is it even what we here on earth know as a window?), or identity (are they humans? elves? animals? Giant flying buffamoose with suitcases?).
The problem here is not that you're not giving me enough information, though.
The problem is that you're giving me the wrong information.
One morning,Let's buff this up a little.
It was the beginning of one crazy day,What does this phrase have that 'One morning' doesn't?
1. Foreshadowing - it's going to be a crazy day for [character], they might die, cry, fry an egg, or do anything, but it's going to be crazy. I don't want to read about a morning, a want to read about something interesting.
2. Adjectives - crazy, a, beginning, it's all about description.
3. Movement - It's the beginning. Yes, morning symbolizes the beginning of something, but you have to think about it. Suspension of disbelief with disregard your reference.
a blond 10 year old boyThe best kind of hook that I know about involves absolutely forcing me to connect with your character. His hair color doesn't make me connect. His gender doesn't make me connect. His age helps a little. Let's give him a name and a personality.
as Mo, a perky ten-year-old boy
I didn't change much - he just doesn't need a physical description yet. Let the readers envision your lovely Mo in their minds before you crush their hopes and dreams entirely with your own picture start adding colors to it.
Perky - you really should switch this out with your own adjective (no laundry listing allowed! At all! You get three at most, and please don't push it. Well, if you relly want a lot of adjectives in the first sentence, you can have them, but my attention span won't last that long.) that actually describes your idea of this Mo person. We assume Mo is human because you call him a boy. If you should happen to make him a goblin in the next chapter, we would all be surprised, and check to make sure you didn't call him a human just a few pages back. But that's not important to your story, so we're moving on.
Finally, we reach our verb. This is a very dull verb, yo. Like way dull.
Was awoken. Were you awoken this morning?
Yes, I'm sure you were.
But how? It's not descriptive at all!
Were you jerked suddenly from your restful sleep by a violent earthquake?
Did you wake up slowly to the smell of eggs and bacon cooking?
Did you awake, only to discover that you were sinking into a humongous jello-filled pit???
Well, Mo didn't do any of these things. He just was awoken. How boring. I'll leave the fixing of this one to you, because I don't know Mo very well. Let's move on to the next phrase.
by what was obviously quite a large crowd
There is a vital piece of information missing from this phrase.
It answers all of these questions:
What? What do you mean obvious? There's no noise!
What's a crowd? Who? When? Why?
Large? What does large mean? Is it twenty people, or two thousand?
The piece of information is a description of the crowd.
by a wanton mob of shouting ten-year-olds, vieing for their chances at getting their own Pokemon
Well, maybe it's not that extreme, but still, you gte the point (I hope).
outside his bedroom window
He has a bedroom window?
Honestly, I have very little to say about this phrase. Can he see said window from his bed? I would cut down to 'just outside his room' or some such. Whatever.
Anyway, I hope this helps, but I unfortanately do not have time to disambiguate every phrase in your first chapter.
Once you get past the first two or three sentences, start your description. If you actually have a decent plot hook, readers will stick around to hear about Mo and his head of shaggy blond curls (nope, I have no idea what he looks like, it's just an example.) and [eyes] [skin tone] [stature] [clothing] (he's not a nudist, right? RIGHT? RIGHT????) and [home environment].
Once you have my attention, describe everything, I want to watch your book like a movie behind my eyelids when I close my eyes. But don't forget to keep the story going. Most importantly: have fun! This is your story in the world of your choosing you can fashion it to be any way you like! It's a free-form dream world where if you so desire, cookies fly and pork does not exist except in cereal! You can have any kind of creature, reality, power, or anything! Enjoy it, that's the power of a writer!
December 5th, 2009, 06:01 AM
Hey hey, I like a good harsh review. I've been meaning to rewrite the first few chapters for a while, but you know how it is - projects pile up, you don't have time, and you can't be bothered. Such is the way of things. There are, however, one or two points about your review that I don't really understand.
Vocab? How can you not know what a duvet is? Or new arrival? New arrival is a figure of speech meaning someone/thing who has just arrived - whether it's by boat, recruiting or childbirth. I would imagine that makes sense, but I guess I change it to something. I'm not even going to ask about evident because, well, evidently if you don't understand new arrival then that's pushing it ;)
No, the story isn't really aimed at 5/6/7 year olds, and I am not 5/6/7 years old myself. I just felt like writing something a little less dark - read my other fic here if you want something a little more grown up I guess (not actually a horror fic, just fairly brutal)... I just write a story I like.
I know this is the classic "Pallet Town kid going on his new adventure blabla" blurb with a few changes thrown in to make it look less like I stole the things that happened from Pokemon games/anime/comics. I don't care though, that's what I wanted to write. It was my first fic ever when I started writing it and I hadn't written a story in years, so forgive its pathetic start - I like the character and I want to keep him going, even if I make slow process.
Don't really understand what your problem with a bedroom window is. Again, it's something people say in real life.
Thanks for the review though, like I said I've been meaning to re-write the first two or three chapters. I'll ask you nicely to read it again then. Or, you know, read on and just look at the story develop :D