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Distortion World
March 2nd, 2010, 11:24 AM
I don't want to go into detail, but let's just say this guy who I thought was my friend just proved to me he wasn't.

He was one of my best friends and someone I could always talk to.

But now I feel like everything I do is pointless.

He told his friends I was a failure and I had no life.

And he never even tried telling me to my face, which hurts.

So far, the day's half over but I just to start everything over again.

What should I do, cuz I honestly don't know anymore.

Galukxy
March 2nd, 2010, 11:30 AM
aww, that sounds so bad, just ditch him he's not exactly a good friend and he even proved it to you and your friends.

have you asked him why he said that about you? and why he didn't say that to your face?

Feign
March 2nd, 2010, 11:31 AM
If he doesn't confront you, confront him. If you truly believe he is and still can be a good friend, someone has to take the initiative, and if he doesn't you'll have to make him see why.

Distortion World
March 2nd, 2010, 11:32 AM
The worst thing is, he's been avoiding me all day.

I feel so awful.

donavannj
March 2nd, 2010, 11:32 AM
Ditch him and find some new friends. He clearly values being considered "cool" more than he values your friendship.

The Prince of Sweet Sorrow
March 2nd, 2010, 11:35 AM
What if he was just joking? That's a possible.
But if you're sure about it, go talk to him.

Kura
March 2nd, 2010, 11:37 AM
I don't want to go into detail, but let's just say this guy who I thought was my friend just proved to me he wasn't.

He was one of my best friends and someone I could always talk to.

But now I feel like everything I do is pointless.

He told his friends I was a failure and I had no life.

And he never even tried telling me to my face, which hurts.

So far, the day's half over but I just to start everything over again.

What should I do, cuz I honestly don't know anymore.

That happens more than you think. It's sad, and it's messed up. I think that you should just be a stronger person, and even though it hurts, you should stand up for yourself and prove that you're not pointless to yourself. Don't do it for other people. Be independent and be strong. You know you're the better person in the long run so don't let others keep you down.

It's happened to me countless times. Even a few days ago on PC here. Yeah it hurts, but you gotta realize that some other people do it because they're just "donkeys" and they think they're cool even though they don't know what it means or takes to be mature individuals.

Sooner or later you'll find REAL genuine friends. Ones that truly care about you.

Distortion World
March 2nd, 2010, 11:38 AM
I'd like to think he was joking, but he wouldn't avoid me for this long. He usually gives it up after first period.

dc_united
March 2nd, 2010, 12:31 PM
We all know someone like that, unfortunately. How much damage they do depends solely on how you deal with them. If you sit there and let them do whatever they want, they think it gives them free reign to do anything they want.

Unfortunately, the only way I know of out of this is too put out their fire with a hammer.Confronting them seems to work (since they're backstabbers, they hate confrontation... which is usually why they don't physically put you down.) my 'buddy' stabbed me and the rest of his so-called friends in the back one too many times and I headbutted him and threatened to report him as a sex offender... he hasn't bothered any of us since.

Honest
March 2nd, 2010, 02:37 PM
I swear, there is at least one of these threads every month or so, and most of them end up getting locked...

Well, friends do stuff like that. Back-stab. What can you do? Well, nothing really. Don't try to get revenge, cause that'll mess you up even more. Just don't do anything, and hope for the best.

DarkPrince_
March 2nd, 2010, 02:49 PM
Awww. That really sucks! I know how it feels.

MegaSlowBro.
March 2nd, 2010, 02:57 PM
Like some other people said, you could either find another friend or talk to him and see if they're still your friend.

Aquerex
March 2nd, 2010, 02:59 PM
Sigh. I hate when these things happen to people.

See, I've had this happen to me before.

First of all don't try to retaliate. Unless it's really good!

Confront him, maybe, tell him what you think.

If you don't do that, ditch him and make some new friends.

EDIT: 100th POST!!!

Syphr
March 2nd, 2010, 03:00 PM
It happens. And when you have something someone wants, it happens even more. And when you get the same thing someone else has, it happens even more.

I'm not promoting violence, but seeing as I see it happen a lot, you might want to start weightlifting and if you can't do that at least try to do some push ups every night.
As ridiculous as it sounds, as soon as you start getting big you're never going to see that again.
And if you are already big then your "friend" is either bigger or an idiot.
I'm not a fighter, but I've never been picked on either.
That would solve the long term problem.

Short term, confront him and get a confession, if he denies make sure he denies in front of other people otherwise you'll feel awkward and angry and angry is not good in school.

You have to stand your ground and no matter what happens, or what happened, don't let other people tell you what to do, what you are, or what you like doing.

Call me an idiot for suggesting you get big, but it worked for me, and I don't know anyone it hasn't worked for. And since I don't know the entire situation I'm not going to go any further than this.


You'll make more friends either way, don't worry about this, and certainly don't lose any sleep over it.

Edit: And seeing as you're not saying exactly what he's been saying (You don't have to), I don't give people more than one chance at having a friendship unless they really promise some changes (That CAN be made). If he's willing to exploit you so he looks cooler and more intimidating to other people, then he's not worth it.

Distortion World
March 2nd, 2010, 04:03 PM
Well, I just found out why he's doing this...

I don't know why, but it has something to do with me asking him to a movie since my other friend couldn't go.

And he doesn't want to tell me if he does or doesn't.

Did I make him mad by asking or was it something else...

Åzurε
March 2nd, 2010, 04:22 PM
I've seen stuff like this happen before. It can really catch a person off-guard.

I've learned that people who would insult you behind your back to get attention from others do not make good friends. I have also learned there are good reasons for not telling friends about certain things, but it seems that this time he may just be avoiding giving you real answers out of fear of your reaction. I would wait for him to quit with the avoidance thing, and then talk to him. If it turns out that he is the kind of person who would exploit you, I don't see why you would need to go on chasing after him. Best to drop it and let him have the choice on whether to come back.

Whatever else may come in to play here, there's no way to tell what exactly is going on unless you really know how his mind works.

Aquerex
March 2nd, 2010, 05:24 PM
It sounds like your friend got mad because you used him as a backup. Since your other friend couldn't go, you asked him, and he might of thought he was just a backup friend in case one isn't there.

You should try to explain it to him. He'll understand the confusion. Hopefully
XD

XCHAMPX
March 2nd, 2010, 07:16 PM
the more u put into people the more you will get hurt. You should do what i do and distance your self as far as possible from other people so you wont get hurt again

Distortion World
March 2nd, 2010, 09:26 PM
Well, after reading everyone's comments, I am sad to say I will do as you guys say and not involve myself with him.

It's gonna be hard, and it's already hard thinking about it.

I hope he changes his attitude one day, and maybe things can be normal again.

Thank you guys.

Living Desert
March 2nd, 2010, 09:38 PM
I think gossip is natural and inevitable, though we may not admit it, we all talk smack about our friends, our family, our enemies, it's what people do. We can always say, we didn't/couldn't see these things coming, and its usually a lie. We generally know what kind of people our friends are, yet despite that, we expect so much from them, like they're going to rain down praise because we sit with them at lunch and play video games with them on the weekends. I wouldn't take it so personally, it's not going to be the first time something like this is going to happen. In the end, we have to accept that our friends aren't truly bound/allied to us.

Go and confront the person and see what happens if you must, but realize that 9/10 times, it doesnt go anywhere. You'll end up coming to some kind of insincere reconciliation and move on to discussing your favorite sports teams, or whatever. It's much easier to set aside our indignant contempts for people, because abandoning our ties completely just means we have to find someone else to fill their hole, and that is just too much work.

Charliezard
March 3rd, 2010, 01:19 AM
Well, after reading everyone's comments, I am sad to say I will do as you guys say and not involve myself with him.

It's gonna be hard, and it's already hard thinking about it.

I hope he changes his attitude one day, and maybe things can be normal again.

Thank you guys.

If you want him to change his attitude then don't avoid him :| That's because he was talking about you behind your back and he's a jerk. But with what you said, he had a reason... While what he did was stupid and mean, he felt that the reason was valid and that's all that counts in his head. Talk to him if you really want his attitude to change, ditch him if you don't care.

Snatch That Child, Drifloon!
March 3rd, 2010, 03:15 AM
Lots of people are meanies in this world. My ex cheated on me with a few other girls :(

But there's always room to find a new best friend ^^

Halcyon
March 3rd, 2010, 03:39 AM
Maybe... you did something that he misunderstood?

PikachuFanForever
March 3rd, 2010, 11:45 AM
aww :( I have no friends cause they bully me but feel free to talk to me ;)

Ven
March 3rd, 2010, 12:09 PM
People are two faced, that's life.
It's human nature, he probably said that because he wanted to make his other friends think of him as superior.
Hell, I've done it, the point is he probably doesn't value you as much as you value him, so forget about him, he doesn't deserve your time.

Distortion World
March 3rd, 2010, 01:25 PM
O.K, I just deadded him on FaceBook.

I tried talking to him but now he's staying a whole mile away from me.

He even looks at me like he doesn't remember me anymore...

Syphr
March 3rd, 2010, 01:35 PM
O.K, I just deadded him on FaceBook.

I tried talking to him but now he's staying a whole mile away from me.

He even looks at me like he doesn't remember me anymore...

Someone probably instigated and said something that wasn't true and he decided to believe them before consulting you.

He's not a true friend if he'd believe them over you and not even talk to you about it.

Jeez, don't even lose sleep over this, he's the one who should be losing sleep once he realizes whatever happened didn't happen (Or was taken the wrong way)

Proto
March 3rd, 2010, 01:37 PM
O.K, I just deadded him on FaceBook.

I tried talking to him but now he's staying a whole mile away from me.

He even looks at me like he doesn't remember me anymore...

>deadded

re·move
/rɪˈmuv/ [ri-moov] verb, -moved, -mov·ing, noun, –verb (used with object)
1. to move from a place or position; take away or off: to remove the napkins from the table.

Distortion World
March 3rd, 2010, 01:42 PM
>deadded

re·move
/rɪˈmuv/ [ri-moov] verb, -moved, -mov·ing, noun, –verb (used with object)
1. to move from a place or position; take away or off: to remove the napkins from the table.


What are you saying? Did I spell deadded wrong?

Eucliffe
March 3rd, 2010, 01:49 PM
What are you saying? Did I spell deadded wrong?

I think Audy's saying that "deadded" isn't a word, and that you mean "removed". Which is the case.

Other than that, I know how it feels, it's happened to me here on PC and irl.

Just ignore the person, and if they want to apologize, then let them, then decide whether it was an actual apology or a fake one.

Distortion World
March 3rd, 2010, 01:58 PM
The only ting is, this guy was like my best friend, so it's really hard to ignore him.

But so far, I'm doing it. As much as it hurt to do so, I know it's the only way.

I'll try to keep on going, and mayb one day, things will work out.

Spikey-Eared Pichu
March 3rd, 2010, 02:01 PM
I'm sorry this happened to you =( I've dealt with this a lot, but all with the same person. He never talked bad about me, but he always seems to do something that hurts me. However, we eventually talk and clear it up.

My advice, don't give up on him. If you really, really, REALLY want to keep him as a friend, then you should try and talk to him face-to-face and figure it out. FaceBook, texting, phonecalls are crap in these situations because seeing the other person in front of you helps a lot more than anyone'd think. I really hope you two work it out. It's always sad when you lose a friend =(

Distortion World
March 3rd, 2010, 02:10 PM
Spikey, I wish so much I could but everytime I try to talk to him, he walks away or ignores me.

I hate it when people want nothing to do with m without any reason.

Makes me feel like a mess up.

Spikey-Eared Pichu
March 3rd, 2010, 04:04 PM
You are NOT a mess-up! Don't EVER think that way about yourself! No one on Earth is a mess-up. Our actions and our words make up who we are, but ultimately, we're what we want to be. You're not a mess-up, and if you feel that way because of your best friend, then I'd like to backhand him myself and yell at him for making you feel like that.

Guillermo
March 3rd, 2010, 11:30 PM
I don't want to go into detail, but let's just say this guy who I thought was my friend just proved to me he wasn't.

He was one of my best friends and someone I could always talk to.

But now I feel like everything I do is pointless.

He told his friends I was a failure and I had no life.

And he never even tried telling me to my face, which hurts.

So far, the day's half over but I just to start everything over again.

What should I do, cuz I honestly don't know anymore.
Hate to say it, but that's life. It doesn't matter who you associate with, or when you do it, or even why. At the end of the day, everyone can be an ass when they want to be, and every now and then, you're going to get backstabbed. It's happened to me on countless occasions, but I forgot about it and stopped dwelling in the past. Move on, find new friends and associate with them.

If this guy wants to be an absolute tool, then let him. It's his loss. You're being the bigger man by not making a big deal out of it.

Anxiety.
March 4th, 2010, 03:33 PM
I'm not being funny... but this happens every day, and to everyone too. People backstab people and thats life, and if having done to you puts you in such a bad state, then you need to sort yourself out, yeah?

And yes, this is coming from personal experiance. Ignore him back, don't confront him, don't let it annoy you, y'hear me? What I want you to do is go and hang out with someone else, but don't flat out ignore him, if he asks you something, casually reply, like you would do to a stranger ("Huh? Oh, yeah that's five I think") and he'll see that he hasn't bothered you half as much as he'd have liked to.

That's all I can say.

TheUltimateSacrifice
March 4th, 2010, 10:35 PM
Some people just want to see the world burn.