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View Full Version : what do YOU do to telemarketers? (be creative!)


XCHAMPX
March 13th, 2010, 08:24 PM
what do YOU do to telemarketers? (be creative!)

Anti-Hero
March 13th, 2010, 08:29 PM
I never get called by them, I don't have a landline. But, I would act all interested in what they say, even though I'm not.

twocows
March 13th, 2010, 08:35 PM
Pretty much this.
Sound warning. Don't play at work. Serious about the age limit, too. http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

Mariah Carey
March 13th, 2010, 09:17 PM
I've discovered that answering all their questions with magic 8 ball answers drives them insane, for example:

"HI! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY FUJITSU AIR CONDIIONING FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF $130 DOLLARS?"
"Better not tell you now."

"UHHH..UM..CAN I INTEREST YOU IN ONE OF OUR OTHER PRODUCTS?"
"As I see it, yes."

And so forth. I can keep a conversation for ten minutes, going round and round in circles until the telemarketer hangs up.

curiousnathan
March 13th, 2010, 09:21 PM
I've discovered that answering all their questions with magic 8 ball answers drives them insane, for example:

"HI! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY FUJITSU AIR CONDIIONING FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF $130 DOLLARS?"
"Better not tell you now."

"UHHH..UM..CAN I INTEREST YOU IN ONE OF OUR OTHER PRODUCTS?"
"As I see it, yes."

And so forth. I can keep a conversation for ten minutes, going round and round in circles until the telemarketer hangs up.

Hey, that's what I do! =D

donavannj
March 13th, 2010, 09:29 PM
Well, I actually just politely refuse them, and I will always hang up within 10 seconds if the call isn't over by then.

reyzn
March 13th, 2010, 09:32 PM
I just hang up.. I don't have the patience to wait for them to finish their speech.

Sydian
March 13th, 2010, 09:34 PM
1. Talk like a 3-year old. 2. Yell "some people eat bugs!" and hang up. 3. "HAY GUUUURLLLL"

curiousnathan
March 13th, 2010, 09:37 PM
1. Talk like a 3-year old. 2. Yell "some people eat bugs!" and hang up. 3. "HAY GUUUURLLLL"
Bahaha! I should try that one sometime soon..

Niprop
March 13th, 2010, 10:04 PM
"Hello. Would you be interested in..."

*Niprop pulls out a Foghorn and blows it into the telephone*

"Hangs up*

La Foudre
March 13th, 2010, 10:17 PM
I just answer and put the phone down, letting them talk until they realize I'm not listening and hang up.

FreakyLocz14
March 13th, 2010, 11:22 PM
I just answer and put the phone down, letting them talk until they realize I'm not listening and hang up.

I would actually do that if my minutes weren't limited.

I usually act like I'm interested and hang up when they think they've got a sale.

Elite Overlord LeSabre™
March 14th, 2010, 04:47 AM
The whole "Start singing 80's songs really off-key" trick is surprisingly effective.

Barring that, I have a small chalkboard by my phone, which I can scratch with my fingernails....

emoBill™
March 14th, 2010, 09:10 AM
I don't get calls from them, but if I did, I'd act interested.
I'd ask all kinds of questions like, "Really? It's that cheap?"
And then at the end I'd be like, "No, sorry, not interested."

Comrade Nikita Ivanova
March 14th, 2010, 09:31 AM
Most of the time, they hang up before I reach the phone, which is odd.

But when I do get to talk to them, I try to sell them something, which is quite fun.
I usually try to sell them either telephone insurance or a Soviet Union travel guide, neither of which have any practical uses. xD

Yuukihime
March 14th, 2010, 10:55 AM
My friedn came up with a bunch of scenarios but I thought the msot memorable one was.

"HELLO, WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN X PRODUCT?"
"Sorry, the only person who would be interested in that product is currently beign eaten by a bear *hang up*"

NikoBelic999
March 14th, 2010, 02:26 PM
"Hello Sir, Would You Be Interested in the TVX 5000?"
"Tell Me What It Does."
"It Lets You Watch TV and Lets You Do Housework!"
"Keep On Talkin'."
"It Costs 3 Payments of $49.99, Plus Ship--"
"Go take your S*** and shove it!"
*hangs up"

XD

.little monster
March 14th, 2010, 02:35 PM
I act like I actually am going to buy it, right before I give them my information I scream "LOLJK" and hang up.

Kon~
March 14th, 2010, 02:50 PM
I have a little music player by the phone, and when they ask "Is Mr X there?" I say, "Hold on a minute" and start playing the music until they decide to hang up. Occasionally, I put in a little "Please hold the line. Your call will be taken soon." before resuming the music.

If I'm tired, though, I just say "NO!" and hang up.

Code
March 14th, 2010, 02:50 PM
Example of a convo I have had. XD

Telemarketer: "Hello, would you be interested in-"
Me."Hi, You've reached Pizza Business. May I take your order?"
Telemarketer: "-A new T2- Vacuum cleaner?"
Me: "So you want the Janitor's Pizza. Right. Want soda with that?"

Throat
March 14th, 2010, 02:58 PM
I never get called by them, I don't have a landline. But, I would act all interested in what they say, even though I'm not.
Neither.


I think I'd try to politely say I need to hang up. Some people mock or get upset, but that's what they do to live.

.Fenris
March 14th, 2010, 03:03 PM
I fake going into a cursing fit and just blow an airhorn into the speaker when I 'curse'.

Example:

"Hello, would you like to purchase--"
"Hey, ya know what? *airhorn* you piece of *airhorn*, now get the *airhorn* off my line, you *airhorn*-ing little *airhorn*!

And then the telemarketer teaches me all the nice words he knows. 8D

chikorita125
March 14th, 2010, 03:06 PM
i say i got another call, and then hang up

Tater Tot
March 14th, 2010, 03:22 PM
Telemarketer: Hello, would you be interested in...
Me: DON'T YA WISH YOU'RE GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME!

That, or I sing Milkshake by Kelis. :3

poopnoodle
March 14th, 2010, 06:40 PM
breathe heavily into the mic then ask what they're doing on Friday

Melody
March 14th, 2010, 07:16 PM
I just answer and listen for about 3 seconds...if its a human telemarketer I just stay silent until they hang up. xD

If its a machine I hang up immediately

Dakota
March 15th, 2010, 04:22 PM
Telemarketer: Hello, would you be interested in...
Me: DON'T YA WISH YOU'RE GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME!

DAMN, THAT WAS GONNA BE MINE

Him: Hello, would you be interested in-
Me: I SAID NO
Him: Huh?
Me: ARE YOU DEAF? GET THE HELL OF THE LINE?
-Idiot doesn't get of the line-
Him: Um, yea, so-
Me: GET OF THE GODAM LINE.
-He hangs up-

Yoshimi
March 15th, 2010, 04:33 PM
I…hang up on them. :/
As much as I don't like them, they're just doing their job.

Mario The World Champion
March 15th, 2010, 07:55 PM
There's this thing I have called "the answering machine". I use it all the time. And if they talk and they leave a message, there's this things on the machine called "delete". Press it, problem solved.

Syndrome
March 15th, 2010, 08:24 PM
I basically chant things in Japanese to them until they hang up....

works every time :D

Guillermo
March 16th, 2010, 03:19 AM
I don't see why people treat telemarketers as anything less than a human. They're doing their job, not so you can make an ass of them, but to get by and live their life. I politely tell them I'm not interested and hang up, as I always will.

john c0nnor
March 16th, 2010, 08:56 AM
Tela: hello, this is ---- I am calling on behalf of---.
Me: hello... hello.... hello?
hello, this is ---- I am calling on behalf of---.
Who is this?
i just told you.
do you own a lamp in your house?
can i please speak to an adult?
do you own a lamp in your house?!
yes. can i please speak to an adult?
what coulor is your lamp?
Is there an adult around?
WHAT COULOR IS THE LAMP!
black...
thank you for your time sir. *I hang up*.

^this happened at my grandmas.

Droidz
March 17th, 2010, 03:54 AM
Ask them why they are calling so early in the morning and if they were me would they be happy answering the phone early in the morning to only listen to someone try and sell your something.

NarutoActor
March 17th, 2010, 12:26 PM
I usally don't pick up. I let my parents or my brother pick up.
My mom usually gose can you please wait one minite then leaves until the telemarketer hangs up. My dad usually tries to be funny and dose something different every time. My brother always tries putting is maderin knowledge to use and screaming chines at the top of his longs and in Chinese keeps saying DO YOU KNOW CHING CHANG CHUNCH!!!

Team Fail
March 19th, 2010, 09:24 AM
I lol'd at some of these.

My friend, Mack911 told me one he did:

"A telemarketer once called me, so I was quiet for a sec. When he was in the middle of his statement, I was like, SHDJ4U49FHYRHUFGEJFYBTBYYH!!!!!!! He just hung up."

I thought, why didn't I think of that. But my favourite is either:
A) Faking a death. Best one ever.
B) Calling the telemarketer. I know one:
000-000-0000 easy number, no?
I love doing a prank call to them

Dawson
March 19th, 2010, 10:45 AM
Can I just point out that, while they are incredibly annoying, they're just trying to earn a living. They don't deserve to be abused or led on and have their time wasted when they're salary is dependant almost entirely on sales.

I just say, "Sorry, I'm not interested. Thank you, goodbye."

Cherrim
March 19th, 2010, 10:56 AM
Can I just point out that, while they are incredibly annoying, they're just trying to earn a living. They don't deserve to be abused or led on and have their time wasted when they're salary is dependant almost entirely on sales.

I just say, "Sorry, I'm not interested. Thank you, goodbye."
^ This.

It's boring in threads like this but I know sitting at a phone all day is horrible, let alone calling people who do not want to hear your calls. :( Feels bad, man. Also if they bug you that much, there should be a "No call" list you can register your number for.

(Though now that we finally have caller ID at home, I just don't pick up if I don't recognize the number.)