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Izanagi
April 26th, 2010, 03:46 PM
Do you think that spanking children is wrong? If so what disciplinary tactics would you use as a parent? I personally believe that spanking is a neccesary action. Spare the rod, spare the child.

Kauai
April 26th, 2010, 03:48 PM
Violence doesn't teach a child to behave, it simply teaches them to fear. Parents should set clear standards, explain to children why they are needed, and then set non-violent punishments on a sliding scale of severity if they misbehave. This way, they aren't doing it because they are in fear of pain, but because they understand it's the right thing to do and behave and will thus apply it to other places in their life without the need for violence.

Yeh...I've been watching too much Oprah.

Yusshin
April 26th, 2010, 03:48 PM
Some children only learn by force. I believe certain children can't be disciplined with just words.

Now, anything other than a bare-hand spanking isn't appropriate. You wouldn't take a rod and beat a child for something, or take a ruler and slap the hand.

People need to realize that children can be extremely evil and as malice as adults. Take the movie Sixth Sense. The children terrorized that child and locked him in a dark place by force, and started laughing. It is children who commit these types of actions who deserve a good wack on the ass.

Not the face, though. Just the butt, since you won't harm anything vital by accident - except perhaps, the child's over-inflated ego / pride.

A Pixy
April 26th, 2010, 03:48 PM
This is my plan if I have children.

1. Child does something bad.
2. Warn.
3. Child continues.
4. Warn sternly.
5. Child continues.
6. WHACK. (I'm leaving it at whack so it stays vague)

It seems to work with me. o3o

RuRuBell
April 26th, 2010, 04:34 PM
I turned out to be a decent person without any physical discipline (my mom didn't believe in it), but I do think it is nessecary for some kids.
There is no parenting technique that will work 100% on all kids, since they're all different.
Some will behave when told not to do something, some will need a scolding, and some need a good whooping. I don't see a problem with it, as long as you don't go overboard (as in, don't make it look like your kid has just lost a fight with a large animal).

Stairmaster
April 26th, 2010, 04:52 PM
Depends. If it hurts, it just pisses off the kid and makes them cry. If it doesn't hurt they just laugh at their parents and nothing happens.

So pretty pointless in my opinion. Not necessarily "wrong". Just pointless.

Melody
April 26th, 2010, 05:06 PM
I agree, it's wrong to spare the rod in extreme cases where the child just won't behave, but I believe there should be a couple of warnings before the spankings begin.

Artimis
April 26th, 2010, 05:08 PM
I belive it is essential part of growing up. With out getting hit you most likley become disobedient. but I guess i would warn my child a few times first. just to be fair

NarutoActor
April 26th, 2010, 05:19 PM
Spanking is okay only when you hug them afterwords, and say your doing it because you love them. <3

Yusshin
April 26th, 2010, 05:22 PM
I'd just like to add, I don't believe hitting should be first-up. I go with the "three strikes and you're out" system.

Always talk to your child before spanking them. It's when they refuse to behave after two incidents that you spank them the third time.

Kauai
April 26th, 2010, 05:27 PM
I realize I'm in the minority on this issue, but I maintain that violence isn't the best way to get a child to behave, nor does it reinforce lasting manners or reinforce things you want the child to learn. Every single study I have ever seen on the subject indicates that positive reinforcement is the better route. I realize anyone can probably find a study saying different, I'm just telling my experience.

With that being said, I don't believe spanking on the bottom or a slight tap to the hand should be illegal, while kids are still young that is. However hitting a child in the face, or leaving marks, IS child abuse and said parent SHOULD seriously be looked at by the relevant officials.

Zet
April 26th, 2010, 05:29 PM
Without discipline I'm sure the world would be on fire and we wouldn't have the internet or anything nice, just a big corrupted world and all because some people didn't want to discipline their kids.

But as much as it is bad to hit a woman or a child, it should only be done in rare cases(spanking children that is, not women you awful minded people!).

Kauai
April 26th, 2010, 05:32 PM
Without discipline I'm sure the world would be on fire and we wouldn't have the internet or anything nice, just a big corrupted world and all because some people didn't want to discipline their kids.

But as much as it is bad to hit a woman or a child, it should only be done in rare cases(spanking children that is, not women you awful minded people!).

The problem with this is that you assume all discipline must be violent. The idea that people who prefer not to use violence as punishment for children simply let their children misbehave and run wild is not true. Certainly I intend to be nothing of the sort.

Yusshin
April 26th, 2010, 05:35 PM
The problem with this is that you assume all discipline must be violent. The idea that people who prefer not to use violence as punishment for children simply let their children misbehave and run wild is not true. Certainly I intend to be nothing of the sort.

It depends on the child, really. I was pretty good at understanding what was bad and what was good as a kid, but parents who let their children tyranize other children freely need a good smack in the butt. To destroy another child's psychology is no small matter. It can seriously screw you up for the rest of your life, especially since the youngest age is the age where what people say cause you the most influence.

Oh, and "They're kids. Teasing is normal" is no excuse to breaking a child's emotional and psychological state.

Most children will understand without violence - 80%, even - but the 20% that are left won't understand the first or second times. They need to be smacked in the buttocks.

Ricky429
April 26th, 2010, 05:49 PM
I think its ok and plan to do it to my kids. I was spanked when i was younger and i believe it really helps. But the way i would do it is to give them punishment based on what they did. That being said I wont go willy nilly with it spanking them for something a warning or a scolding could accomplish. I plan to try a different approach but still spank them if they get out of hand mltiple times and tell them what they did wrong so they can understand whats acceptable and whats not.

I get alot of compliments on the way I act from complete strangers all the time. And my friends who weren't spanked as much as me act a whole lot different behavior-wise. On the bad side.

Yusshin
April 26th, 2010, 05:54 PM
I got spanked a few times, too, but 95% of the time, words were enough.

Trust me. It sets ya' straight.

Kauai
April 26th, 2010, 05:57 PM
I think its ok and plan to do it to my kids. I was spanked when i was younger and i believe it really helps. But the way i would do it is to give them punishment based on what they did. That being said I wont go willy nilly with it spanking them for something a warning or a scolding could accomplish. I plan to try a different approach but still spank them if they get out of hand mltiple times and tell them what they did wrong so they can understand whats acceptable and whats not.

I get alot of compliments on the way I act from complete strangers all the time. And my friends who weren't spanked as much as me act a whole lot different behavior-wise. On the bad side.

Anecdotal evidence really doesn't mean much. I often get told that I'm very polite and mature around adults, and I was never spanked. My Grandmother on the other hand used to slap my Mother and Aunt's around, literally leaving marks on their cheeks, and let's just say that my Aunt isn't known for being the most calm of people.

So please don't make such broad generalizations as that, it isn't very constructive and certainly serves to categorize people into good/bad based on if they agree with your parenting views or not.

On an unrelated note, bringing up my Aunt gives me a good idea for a thread.... :laugh:

Yusshin
April 26th, 2010, 05:59 PM
Anecdotal evidence really doesn't mean much. I often get told that I'm very polite and mature around adults, and I was never spanked. My Grandmother on the other hand used to slap my Mother and Aunt's around, literally leaving marks on their cheeks, and let's just say that my Aunt isn't known for being the most calm of people.

So please don't make such broad generalizations as that, it isn't very constructive and certainly serves to categorize people into good/bad based on if they agree with your parenting views or not.

On an unrelated note, bringing up my Aunt gives me a good idea for a thread.... :laugh:

Like I said, it depends completely on the individual. If you're a wild person with a bad temper, spanking is probably the better method. If you're reasonable and understanding, words will work.

In this case, words worked for both you and me (but spankings for me on those odd occasions ~.~)

Hamilton
April 26th, 2010, 06:04 PM
well in my experience, it all depends on the child- if my niece is being really bad, we'll "smack her hiney" which is really just a light tap- i'm sure her brother will get the rebellious gene and be a trooper, so we'll have to wait to see- some kids just need to be told- it all depends

Renege
April 26th, 2010, 06:06 PM
I've never been spanked, I know what's wrong and what's right. I'm not disobedient. Hopefully my child takes after me!

To be fair, I think I would discuss the matter with my partner to see how we should handle decisions like this. And we would both have to agree on whether to or not.

Lunatone_Solrock
April 26th, 2010, 06:08 PM
True story guys, my friend's cousin got spanked, and she had to go to the hospital because her mother hit her too hard and now she's hooked up to a machine and can't think for herself. So no, I won't spare the rod, I'll plain get rid of it. That sort of punishment is old and wrong and just causes pain.

Yusshin
April 26th, 2010, 06:09 PM
I've never been spanked, I know what's wrong and what's right. I'm not disobedient. Hopefully my child takes after me!

To be fair, I think I would discuss the matter with my partner to see how we should handle decisions like this. And we would both have to agree on whether to or not.

The only thing that's wrong with that is if it's blatant that the child deserves it and will only understand between right and wrong when physical force is applied.

Even if you don't feel it's right, your child might be responsible later on for screwing up another person's childhood - which ultimately, is your fault because you failed to discipline said wild, uncontrollable child correctly.

:s

Lunatone:

Her mother obviously wasn't spanking her buttocks then. If you believe spanking buttocks = a ticket to the hospital for life, then you've been trolled.

Lunatone_Solrock
April 26th, 2010, 06:11 PM
Well maybe that could cause trouble going to the bathroom or something. Either way, there are other ways to solve the problem.

Hantsuki
April 26th, 2010, 06:12 PM
I heard that it's now illegal to spank children.

But I believe it's necessary sometimes. I mean, you don't have to beat the living Helen of Troy out of them, but you shouldn't let them overstep their bounds. Not like it concerns me because I don't plan on having kids. Ever. But it does get annoying when you go out to a public place like a store and someone's child starts crying and screaming.

Yusshin
April 26th, 2010, 06:12 PM
Well maybe that could cause trouble going to the bathroom or something. Either way, there are other ways to solve the problem.

I don't believe so. An open hand smack to the buttocks won't hurt anyone, unless you take a stick or something and slam it with all your force.

Moderation of force is obviously a concern here. You don't hit to hurt; you hit to make them understand. Hitting the buttocks with your hand won't cause bodily harm - you should never hit anywhere else, though.

Lunatone_Solrock
April 26th, 2010, 06:14 PM
No, you shouldn't be allowed to hit someone anywhere, period. I don't care how justifying you think hurting somebody is, but I don't see anything good coming from it.

Hamilton
April 26th, 2010, 06:15 PM
I heard that it's now illegal to spank children.

But I believe it's necessary sometimes. I mean, you don't have to beat the living Helen of Troy out of them, but you shouldn't let them overstep their bounds. Not like it concerns me because I don't plan on having kids. Ever. But it does get annoying when you go out to a public place like a store and someone's child starts crying and screaming.

it's not illegal to spank them- it's illegal to ABUSE them- HUGE difference

Lunatone_Solrock
April 26th, 2010, 06:16 PM
I wish SOMEBODY would please explain what good comes out of hitting your child.

Yusshin
April 26th, 2010, 06:17 PM
No, you shouldn't be allowed to hit someone anywhere, period. I don't care how justifying you think hurting somebody is, but I don't see anything good coming from it.

Trust me. Even if it's a method to cause fear, you need to show that you're the dominant person - that you're the parent, and you obey the parent. Your children should not be permitted to run around wildly, screaming, and perhaps even hurting other people emotionally or physically, and not expect to be smacked in the butt for it.

If you don't cause fear to a child (assuming they won't listen to words, mind you), the rebellious ones won't listen.

Take my sister for example. She was treated too delicately as a child. Now, she insults my father with every name in the book, insults everyone around her, dropped out of school, and is so egotistical, self-absorbed, etc.

What's the difference? Personalities, really. She was never spanked, though, and she's the type of child that needed physical discipline.

Unfortunately, some children don't listen to words. These children need to be spanked. It's not abuse; it's a way of making them understand the only way that they will understand.

[Edit]

I'm sure you have friends that just won't listen to reason. You want to smack them, too, because communicating with diplomacy does not work with certain types of individuals. It's a fact. These people need to be shown physically who's boss and who's right, assuming that you are, indeed, right.

Spanking the rebellious child not only teaches them the only way they can be taught, but it also shows the boundaries and the differences in stature. A parent has more authority than the child; nowadays, children are switching this around. Children are becoming more and more demanding, and parents are pleasing them more and more because they just want their kids to stfu or they feel obliged. There are many reasons for this swap in authority - an authority that should always belong to the parent, and not the child. Ever.

Hamilton
April 26th, 2010, 06:20 PM
I wish SOMEBODY would please explain what good comes out of hitting your child.

so you don't end up with bratty mouthy drug addict kids that never listen to you- you have to show that you are the parent/guardian

Yusshin
April 26th, 2010, 06:29 PM
Not to mention, your disciplining your child can affect other children's parents. Let's say you let Bob treat you like trash and other kids see it; they'll start assuming it's all right to do, too, in the back of their minds, because "Bob's parents let him do it", so they start sassing their parents, too.

See what I mean. It affects a lot of stuff. Sure, if little Timmy's parents can convince him that Bob's behaviour is bad, nothing is affected, but kids have this weird obsession with needing to be identical to their peers. If Jim has a new Tonka truck, Timmy's going to want one, too. Likewise with behaviour.

I would sometimes visit a friend who was absolutely horrid with her parents - spoiled to the core, and always wanting more. Her parents were so kind, and she was such a rotten *****. You know what would happen? I'd subconsciously copy her behaviour. I'd come home and sass my dad. It's just a game of dominoes, really.

Ricky429
April 26th, 2010, 06:31 PM
I agree with Hantsuki. You dont have to torture them to behave or what have you.

Also Kauai, I'm not saying you should slap them on the face or anywhere else except the butt. Slapping your kids to a point where it leaves scars is completely wrong. Its not like your spanking them hard enough to make them bleed. Just to get a point across. And I wasnt trying to make a broad generalization about every kid who was or wasnt spanked just about what I have experienced. When a child continually misbehaves and words arent working spanking is the next step.

I also agree with Yusshin when she says kids can stop misbehaving when they are told but only some kids. Not all kids can be that reasonable haha

Leaving bruises, scars are the like is definitely not ok. If you are hitting your kid that hard then you need to try something else.

Hamilton
April 26th, 2010, 06:36 PM
I agree with Hantsuki. You dont have to torture them to behave or what have you.

Also Kauai, I'm not saying you should slap them on the face or anywhere else except the butt. Slapping your kids to a point where it leaves scars is completely wrong. Its not like your spanking them hard enough to make them bleed. Just to get a point across. And I wasnt trying to make a broad generalization about every kid who was or wasnt spanked just about what I have experienced. When a child continually misbehaves and words arent working spanking is the next step.

I also agree with Yusshin when she says kids can stop misbehaving when they are told but only some kids. Not all kids can be that reasonable haha

Leaving bruises, scars are the like is definitely not ok. If you are hitting your kid that hard then you need to try something else.

Bruises are a totally different story- if i ever left a bruise on my child i would lock myself up (that's assuming i ever have children)

I HEART MEGA HITT
April 26th, 2010, 09:42 PM
Violence doesn't teach a child to behave, it simply teaches them to fear. Parents should set clear standards, explain to children why they are needed, and then set non-violent punishments on a sliding scale of severity if they misbehave. This way, they aren't doing it because they are in fear of pain, but because they understand it's the right thing to do and behave and will thus apply it to other places in their life without the need for violence.

Yeh...I've been watching too much Oprah.

I actually agree with this. Spanking a child or even hitting them is obviously the same as abuse. The child doesn't understand why you spank them and it doesn't matter if you let the child cry after explaining... let them cry. They're just children. They'll get over it after a while because they'll tire out and stop crying.

Yusshin
April 27th, 2010, 04:48 AM
I actually agree with this. Spanking a child or even hitting them is obviously the same as abuse. The child doesn't understand why you spank them and it doesn't matter if you let the child cry after explaining... let them cry. They're just children. They'll get over it after a while because they'll tire out and stop crying.

Actually, if you explain it to them twice on two different occasions, I don't see why a child wouldn't understand already before reaching the third strike. They'll see how serious you are about it if you spank them a bit. They won't do it again because it hurts, and they might ask why, but the parents will say "I explained it to you three times already, and you refuse to listen. Don't hit your sister" or w/e the child did. They might even reflect on what they did and think twice the next time they're going to smack their sister, or write on the walls, etc.

It's not the same as child abuse, because you only do it to cause slight pain on rare occasions in a place on the body that can't cause long-term damage. Child abuse is leaving bruising, letting a child bleed, breaking an arm. Abuse is when you go too far - that's why it's called "abuse".

Take it this way. Casual drinking. That's not abuse; it's the same as spanking. Becoming an alcoholic is abuse, or in this case, beating your child with fists.

The dictionary says:

to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way

When you spank, you don't mean to be harmful, injurious, or offensive. Your intent is not to hurt them; your intent it to show a child, specifically children who won't listen to words, that you're the parent and you know what's best, and it's best not to fight against what you say because you have reason for it. Even if the child doesn't agree with the reasoning, they'll whine and complain about everything before the age of eight. If you let them control you from a young age, or get away with things that they shouldn't get away with, they won't understand how serious certain things are.

I said to my dad as a child "**** you". He hit me. I never did that again because I realized how serious it is to insult or offend a parent / guardian at that moment in my life. "Daddy never hit me before! Why did he hit me now? It must have been really bad what I said... I didn't realize..." If my dad hadn't done that, I'm sure I would be like my sibling of whom he didn't hit: my sister, who calls him an ******* and a bastard at least twice a day.

As said, not all children can be taught with words. Most people have friends like this, too, who don't communicate with diplomacy. For a child, you spank them on the buttocks to leave red, but not a deep red. It shouldn't last more than an hour or you've hit too hard.

S'all.

hiphiphippo
April 27th, 2010, 11:55 AM
i think that "spanking" is appropriate at times as long as you dont go overboard/do it too often

for example, when my dad gets mad, he goes nuts. he doesnt spank any of his children unless he's extremely mad. and so from stories, i know that my dad spanked me pretty badly just once, which worked (i think it was on the butt, i'm not sure). i dont even remember it happening but it must have been pretty scary. he never spanked me or any of my siblings more than a once or twice

on another note, my niece is 2 and 10 months and she's a little devil ;-;
when my aunt (her grandma) tells her to stop doing something, she does the opposite of what she's told. eventually, she'll get spanked and it'll keep her from causing trouble for a little while. sometimes she learns from it, but sometimes she doesnt. for example, she's been warned/spanked/punished (getting locked into the bathroom for a while) countless times for touching people's computers yet she still does it. she even has her own high-tech toy laptop! D:
and when she gets spanked, it's only on the butt with her pants on or on the hand, but then she gets ignored so she just cries for ages ._. i always wanna hug her but she only wants her grandma at that point

i do think that regularly spanking a child harms the child psychologically though

so i guess basically, it works for some kids but other kids are just hard to discipline in general

Fxcking Tatertots
April 27th, 2010, 12:01 PM
The most I do to my sister is a tap on the wrist. I dislike hitting little kids. =/

I HEART MEGA HITT
April 27th, 2010, 12:11 PM
Actually, if you explain it to them twice on two different occasions, I don't see why a child wouldn't understand already before reaching the third strike. They'll see how serious you are about it if you spank them a bit. They won't do it again because it hurts, and they might ask why, but the parents will say "I explained it to you three times already, and you refuse to listen. Don't hit your sister" or w/e the child did. They might even reflect on what they did and think twice the next time they're going to smack their sister, or write on the walls, etc.

It's not the same as child abuse, because you only do it to cause slight pain on rare occasions in a place on the body that can't cause long-term damage. Child abuse is leaving bruising, letting a child bleed, breaking an arm. Abuse is when you go too far - that's why it's called "abuse".

Take it this way. Casual drinking. That's not abuse; it's the same as spanking. Becoming an alcoholic is abuse, or in this case, beating your child with fists.

The dictionary says:



When you spank, you don't mean to be harmful, injurious, or offensive. Your intent is not to hurt them; your intent it to show a child, specifically children who won't listen to words, that you're the parent and you know what's best, and it's best not to fight against what you say because you have reason for it. Even if the child doesn't agree with the reasoning, they'll whine and complain about everything before the age of eight. If you let them control you from a young age, or get away with things that they shouldn't get away with, they won't understand how serious certain things are.

I said to my dad as a child "**** you". He hit me. I never did that again because I realized how serious it is to insult or offend a parent / guardian at that moment in my life. "Daddy never hit me before! Why did he hit me now? It must have been really bad what I said... I didn't realize..." If my dad hadn't done that, I'm sure I would be like my sibling of whom he didn't hit: my sister, who calls him an ******* and a bastard at least twice a day.

As said, not all children can be taught with words. Most people have friends like this, too, who don't communicate with diplomacy. For a child, you spank them on the buttocks to leave red, but not a deep red. It shouldn't last more than an hour or you've hit too hard.

S'all.

True but no matter how much i think about that... I just can't imagine doing it to my child. x_x

Forever
April 27th, 2010, 09:24 PM
If I had a child I would make her write lines on a blackboard as disclipline. I think she would get the message eventually.

Guillermo
April 28th, 2010, 02:06 AM
so you don't end up with bratty mouthy drug addict kids that never listen to you- you have to show that you are the parent/guardian
You know, there's plenty of alternatives to hitting them. I would personally never lay a hand on my child unless it was to embrace them in a gentle manner, like a hug or pat on the back.

FaithInMe
April 28th, 2010, 02:07 AM
Personally I think the worlds gone soft. Everyones always walking on eggshells as to what they can and cant do.
I understand I was a horror of a kid, all the way up until a couple of years ago when I turned 19.
I was disciplined. In some cases really very severely, I got thrown through a wooden door at one stage for something that I had done (I wont go into details, what I did is irrelevant).
However, it taught me right from wrong. It taught me respect for my parents.
I also am 100% clean for drugs, Im not an alcoholic and Im not a violent person.

Being disciplined the way I was did me no harm and like I said, Ive been literally thrown through doors and knocked out and all sorts of things.
My dad ruled with an iron fist, and I respect him for it.

Guillermo
April 28th, 2010, 02:09 AM
Personally I think the worlds gone soft. Everyones always walking on eggshells as to what they can and cant do.
I understand I was a horror of a kid, all the way up until a couple of years ago when I turned 19.
I was disciplined. In some cases really very severely, I got thrown through a wooden door at one stage for something that I had done (I wont go into details, what I did is irrelevant).
However, it taught me right from wrong. It taught me respect for my parents.
I also am 100% clean for drugs, Im not an alcoholic and Im not a violent person.

Being disciplined the way I was did me no harm and like I said, Ive been literally thrown through doors and knocked out and all sorts of things.
My dad ruled with an iron fist, and I respect him for it.
That's not discipline, that's abuse. Big difference. If you're abused, you're not going to cross paths with the abuser again. You'll fear them, and agree to their terms. However, your father went about disciplining you the wrong way.

Smack on the arm or bum vs Thrown through a door. Hmm.

Zet
April 28th, 2010, 02:13 AM
It's actually illegal here in Australia to smack your children..... in public, but nothing can be done about it a home.

FaithInMe
April 28th, 2010, 02:14 AM
I dont have any fear towards him at all.
I see him regularly.
I was disciplined. As discipline was before it became suddenly wrong to hit your kids.
As far as Im concerned the people who decided it was a bad thing, have never had kids, and dont know what its like to deal with a menace.
The world got along for millions of years of PROPER discipline before they decided it was wrong. It cant have been that bad at all could it.


EDIT:
Zet, this is true. We do have that over here now.
I dont believe in it.
I see mothers belt their kids upside the head in shopping centres all the time for being a nuisance.
And well deserved in my opinion.

Guillermo
April 28th, 2010, 02:16 AM
I dont have any fear towards him at all.
I see him regularly.
I was disciplined. As discipline was before it became suddenly wrong to hit your kids.
As far as Im concerned the people who decided it was a bad thing, have never had kids, and dont know what its like to deal with a menace.
The world got along for millions of years of PROPER discipline before they decided it was wrong. It cant have been that bad at all could it.


EDIT:
Zet, this is true. We do have that over here now.
I dont believe in it.
I see mothers belt their kids upside the head in shopping centres all the time for being a nuisance.
And well deserved in my opinion.
Pal, kids at school were whacked if they got a sum wrong or were caught writing with the wrong hand. If that's not stupid, I don't know what is. And I don't believe a kid should be hit in public, especially. That's just humiliation.

Zet
April 28th, 2010, 02:16 AM
Yeah but no one is going to bother to phone up the police and report them

FaithInMe
April 28th, 2010, 02:21 AM
Australia does seem pretty laidback about MOST things.
I still believe the world has gone soft.
I dont expect anyone to agree with me.
The worst thing that ever happened was letting kids know what their rights are.

Guillermo
April 28th, 2010, 02:23 AM
Australia does seem pretty laidback about MOST things.
I still believe the world has gone soft.
I dont expect anyone to agree with me.
The worst thing that ever happened was letting kids know what their rights are.
I don't really agree with you directly, but I do at the same time. The kids I see in the streets now are jerks, and they have no respect for their elders. They tag buildings, drink, smoke and have sex all well before 16, sometimes. However, whether it be the parent or not, everyone has a choice in what they do. You cannot blame the parent entirely if their kid is a screw up. It's the kids choice as to how he/she wants to lead his/her life.

FaithInMe
April 28th, 2010, 02:27 AM
I do agree with that to an extent.
Im just going off my own personal experience.
I was one of those screwups, fairly much what you're saying they are like.
Although I was never one for cigarettes, but the rest, yeah I did all that.
I learnt my lessons the hard way.
LIke I said, I dont expect anyone to be on my side with this, but its what I believe.

Guillermo
April 28th, 2010, 02:30 AM
I do agree with that to an extent.
Im just going off my own personal experience.
I was one of those screwups, fairly much what you're saying they are like.
Although I was never one for cigarettes, but the rest, yeah I did all that.
I learnt my lessons the hard way.
LIke I said, I dont expect anyone to be on my side with this, but its what I believe.
Surely it wasn't just your father that made you who you are today. You must have decided to stop what you were doing, too.

FaithInMe
April 28th, 2010, 02:31 AM
I made the decision based on the consequences I received for my actions.
Thats all. If I hadnt had as such severe consequences Id probably still be a screwup.

Guillermo
April 28th, 2010, 02:37 AM
I made the decision based on the consequences I received for my actions.
Thats all. If I hadnt had as such severe consequences Id probably still be a screwup.
That's cool, I guess. Good to know you made good moral decisions.

But just remember that there's plenty of good kids out there who's parents never laid a finger on them which was meant in a painful way.

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 11:11 AM
The only thing that I myself learned from corporal punishment [spanking + other things along that line] was how to hide my feelings and how to shut myself up. I didn't learn alternatives to bad behaviour and I lived in fear of getting thwacked again. I have a big brother [adoptive sorta, thank you internet. X3] who, when he's upset with me, doesn't smack me or anything like that. He scolds me [severely <<;] and not only points out what I did wrong but points out what I should've done in as kind of a manner as he can. Sometimes I get a 'time out' but it's not because he doesn't love me, he does it because even at my age I need a cool down time. I've learned so much more from that then I ever did in my house. I actually feel guilty about what I did and I have reason to change the behavior, not because I don't want to get hit but because I actually want to change and become a better person.

In my house, after I was spanked, I was given a hug to 'kiss and make it better'. Hugs =/= Hitting and they shouldn't be used in the same sentence. It just doesn't work. :x Firm parenting with a gentle hand is best, in my opinion, because it's a form of respect. Children need boundaries, not scars and bruises. Shouting matches, name calling and hitting shouldn't ever be a part of it. Even the 'worst' children can be taught to mind with a gentle firm hand, it just takes longer.

I think though that there are exceptions to this with very young children.

My cousins, whose children I was a nanny for, were only spanked or swatted in some way in very dangerous situations i.e. running out in a street got a light swat on the bottom, touching a hot pan got a swat on the hand etc etc. It stopped when the children turned 5 or so and no longer reached for very dangerous items that could hurt them. It stopped around age 5 becuase the children, then school age, knew that such things might be cool looking but were very very dangerous. Little kids don't understand a car can kill them but they don't like mommy swatting them. It's not ideal sure because you're using pain as a means of control but when you live on a busy street and your kids really could get killed [because no parent can have a handle on their child 24/7, it's not humanly possible] or seriously maimed in an accident, it's acceptable if it's the only thing that works. :x This, in my opinion, is the only exception.

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 11:12 AM
If you're giving scars and bruises, it becomes abuse and the parents should be punished, not the kid lol

Nothing wrong with a temporary red mark on the buttocks.

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 11:25 AM
If you're giving scars and bruises, it becomes abuse and the parents should be punished, not the kid lol

Nothing wrong with a temporary red mark on the buttocks.

I think there's alot wrong with it. You're smacking a child out of anger instead of taking the time to get the child to understand. Children aren't mini adults and sure, you can smack them and get them to shut up but at the same time, you're teaching them to fear you.

There's a huge difference between permissive parting and over the top authoritation parenting. The middle ground, which has been proven by most psychologists worth their salt to be the best, is 'Authoritative' where this is no fear but an understanding going on between parent and child. Parent sets rules and clear consequences and the child follows them and if the child does not the consequences are consistently carried through. There is also, if the child is respectful, a venue for discussion in the older years if the child believes he or she was treated unfairly and both sides listen and hear it out.

Authoritation parenting is the style of parenting when the parent is always right and the child is always wrong. The parent says no, the child obeys but not because the child WANTS to obey. The child obeys because they HAVE to obey or they're going to get hit.

Permissive parenting is when a parent sets no boundries and is a friend instead of a parent. This is where out of control children come from for the most part but some do come from Authoritation households [an outlet for having all their emotions and frustrations surpressed.]

The pros and cons can go on and on but a word on legality:

In most 1st World Countries, Spanking is illegal. :x

It's not because "it doesn't work" but because too many people abuse their child and call it 'spanking'. The minority ruin it for the majority if you will and that's perfectly fine with me. There's no way, especially because of the anger that comes from a parent when he/she spanks their child, to prevent injury 100% of the time. There's no way to limit each parent's 'output' when it comes to just how hard and how exactly they hit/spank a child. :x

Here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporal_punishment_in_the_home) is a list of the places that have either severely limited or all out banned corporal punishment/spanking in the home/school as well as those that have no rules or regulations.

chikorita125
April 28th, 2010, 11:39 AM
i don't beleive in disapline, serious

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 11:49 AM
Mm... But some children need to be spanked, and many have already agreed with me. Obviously if you're hitting with a paddle or too hard, it's not appropriate. A temporary red mark that doesn't cause bruising is fine in my opinion. I was spanked when needed, but usually words worked with me. Usually words work with children over all, actually, but there are runts who just won't take your words as an answer / won't take it seriously, and it's those children who need the temporary red hand mark on their butts.

Bruising, bleeding, or using anything but your hand is inappropriate.

In Canada, parents may spank their children, but there are several restrictions.

In Canadian Foundation for Children, Youth and the Law v. Canada (2004) the Supreme Court upheld, in a 6-3 decision, the use of "reasonable" force to discipline children, rejecting claims that moderate spanking violated children's rights. However, it stipulated that the person administering the punishment must be a parent or legal guardian, and not a school teacher or other person; that the force must be used "by way of correction" (sober, reasoned uses of force that address the actual behaviour of the child and are designed to restrain, control or express some symbolic disapproval of his or her behaviour), that the child must be capable of benefiting from the correction (i.e. not under the age of 2 or over 12, etc.), and that the use of force must be "reasonable under the circumstances", meaning that it results neither in harm nor in the prospect of bodily harm. Punishment involving slaps or blows to the head is harmful, the Court held

I actually thought it was illegal in Canada. Good to know it's not.

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 11:59 AM
Mm... But some children need to be spanked, and many have already agreed with me. Obviously if you're hitting with a paddle or too hard, it's not appropriate. A temporary red mark that doesn't cause bruising is fine in my opinion. I was spanked when needed, but usually words worked with me. Usually words work with children over all, actually, but there are runts who just won't take your words as an answer / won't take it seriously, and it's those children who need the temporary red hand mark on their butts.

Bruising, bleeding, or using anything but your hand is inappropriate.

But see you might differ from other people when it comes to how you were spanked.

Some are spanked through clothes, some are degraded and stripped. Some children are still whipped with birches. My parents personally didn't use their bare hand because they viewed that as abuse. They used a plastic spatula or a wooden spoon through the clothes. At church, the topic for us kids in sunday school was who did what and got hit with what. Again, I learned, as did many other kids I knew/have known growing up, to shut my mouth and not get caught. I didn't correct the behavior.

There are ungrateful brats who won't listen, that's called being rebellious and it's almost always a phase. Getting frustrated and striking them doesn't fix any of that. If you can't hit a co-worker you're frustrated with when they don't listen to you, why can you hit a child who you're frustrated with because they also won't listen to you?

I regret being spanked, I regret being struck by my parents. I still flinch when I see the object that was used to spank me even if my parents aren't around. It's done a lot more damage than good, especially because it was used past the preschool age.

Time outs, taking to-s, grounding, they're harder to do. They take more time and effort, time parents esp. in today's america just don't want to give. Thwack a child and say no, the kid's not going to want to get hurt and at least where you can see it, they won't do it again. They don't learn, at least not in a healthy manner.

Parents, to do time outs and groundings, have to be firm and be an ever looming presence. If the kid's grounded, they have to be home to make sure the child stays home. To make sure tv and computers are off. That drains a parent but it also bonds parent and child.

I was grounded for a week once by my big brother and it was a living hell for me, the worst punishment I've ever had and yet I learned more from that one experience than I have from any sort of corporal punishment I've experienced growing up. Words and time and consistent behavior are what kids learn from, I'm positive of it.

To be honest, if you're looking at it from a purely logistical point of view, spanking doesn't work because of the inability to set guidelines, specific guidelines on how it's supposed to work. The minority who abuse their kids can and to be honest should ruin it for everyone so that nobody ever again tries to use 'punishment' to excuse child abuse. I've seen it working in schools and as a camp counselor and there's just no other way to stop them. :x "It's my religious right to punish my child how I want" "kk" Back in the old days, nobody thought twice about whipping children unitl they bled because that was the social norm. Then we hit an era where we were told not to punish our children at all and now we're heading right back down towards flat out child abuse and calling it punishment.

The actual method that actually works lies in between permissive and abusive parenting.

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 12:05 PM
I got the "corner treatment" at school lol At home, it was just groundings, removal of things, soap in the mouth, or a spanking, but rarely.

I feel spanking with something other than the hand is abuse. You're taking a very hard item that you might not control at 100% and smacking your child with it. Being hit with an object is worse than being hit by an open hand.

As for the co-worker situation, you would assume a co-worker would understand. They're mentally capable of understanding your intentions and your words. A child, no. They're consumed with a childish mentality and a lust for stuff. You don't have to prove your authority to a rebellious co-worker like you would to a rebellious child belonging to you. It's quite a different situation. You can ignore the co-worker, but it's your responsibility to make sure your rebellious child doesn't rub off on other children, other parents, and other people's lifestyles, including your own. You're the parent. If the child doesn't want to hear words, let them feel temporary pain in the buttocks and they'll never want to do what they did again. They'll think twice. They'll reflect. They'll realize, hopefully, that their parents had reason and might even apologize themselves like they should.

I was spanked with my pants down on bare buttocks. It hurt, but it did me good. I realized at those moments just how bad what I had done was (i.e. disrespecting a parent). Most kids will realize that what they did was wrong after they bawl a bit.

Parents shouldn't hit too hard, though. Just once, maximum three times, to get the point across. The red mark shouldn't last more than 30min either.

Not to mention, you shouldn't spank the first or second times of an offence. If they write on the walls, talk to them first. Some things never deserve spankings, like taking an extra cookie, or a messy room, etc. It's when children become destructive or mouth off that they deserve it. You shouldn't spank them if they whine constantly, either. You shouldn't threaten them with spankings or anything like that, too.

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 12:17 PM
I got the "corner treatment" at school lol At home, it was just groundings, removal of things, soap in the mouth, or a spanking, but rarely.

I feel spanking with something other than the hand is abuse. You're taking a very hard item that you might not control at 100% and smacking your child with it. Being hit with an object is worse than being hit by an open hand.

As for the co-worker situation, you would assume a co-worker would understand. They're mentally capable of understanding your intentions and your words. A child, no. They're consumed with a childish mentality and a lust for stuff. You don't have to prove your authority to a rebellious co-worker like you would to a rebellious child belonging to you. It's quite a different situation. You can ignore the co-worker, but it's your responsibility to make sure your rebellious child doesn't rub off on other children, other parents, and other people's lifestyles, including your own. You're the parent. If the child doesn't want to hear words, let them feel temporary pain in the buttocks and they'll never want to do what they did again. They'll think twice. They'll reflect. They'll realize, hopefully, that their parents had reason and might even apologize themselves like they should.

I was spanked with my pants down on bare buttocks. It hurt, but it did me good. I realized at those moments just how bad what I had done was (i.e. disrespecting a parent). Most kids will realize that what they did was wrong after they bawl a bit.

Parents shouldn't hit too hard, though. Just once, maximum three times, to get the point across. The red mark shouldn't last more than 30min either.

Not to mention, you shouldn't spank the first or second times of an offence. If they write on the walls, talk to them first. Some things never deserve spankings, like taking an extra cookie, or a messy room, etc. It's when children become destructive or mouth off that they deserve it. You shouldn't spank them if they whine constantly, either. You shouldn't threaten them with spankings or anything like that, too.

But see, the way you're describing spanking and how it should/shouldn't be use is something that most countries, America and Canada included, can't agree on. If you can't agree on something and it's too dangerous to be left up to people to use on their own, it shouldn't be allowed period because people will take advantage of it. Sure, this happens with alot of things but when we're talking about innocent children getting caught up in the mess, then it's already gone too far. They don't deserve to be treated like that, not ever.

I could sit here all day and argue with you how your parents differed from mine because how you described your spankings is what my parents would call unnecessary abuse and vice versa.

Unless someone who is unbiased and highly knowledgeable in child psychology can come up with a blueprint [which, to be honest, people will still find a way around with the way our society is nowadays] on how spanking is defined what it can be and what it can't be, then it needs to be outlawed for the sake of protecting people who don't have voices in this.

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 12:21 PM
It's quite simple, really.

You spank with an open-hand. Not too hard, though. If a bruise appears, you've spanked way, way too hard.

It's too bad I don't know about force and physics and such. We need someone capable of doing that equation to calculate force applied from the hand on the buttocks :| That would solve all of this lol Also, speed and such.

You don't raise your hand up high. You keep it relatively close to where you're going to spank. This allows for less force to build up, and frankly, you won't hit too hard if you're close to the target. Force comes from speed. The further your hand is away, the harder you're going to hit, because the faster you're going to impact against the buttocks. You'd hit a child's buttocks a bit harder then you would clap for your favourite musician at a concert. You aren't slapping your hands to cause pain, but you are impacting with your fingers against the palm to cause slight disturbance. A bit harder than a normal person would clap on average should be enough.

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 12:27 PM
It's quite simple, really.

You spank with an open-hand. Not too hard, though. If a bruise appears, you've spanked way, way too hard.

It's too bad I don't know about force and physics and such. We need someone capable of doing that equation to calculate force applied from the hand on the buttocks :| That would solve all of this lol Also, speed and such.

You don't raise your hand up high. You keep it relatively close to where you're going to spank. This allows for less force to build up, and frankly, you won't hit too hard if you're close to the target. Force comes from speed. The further your hand is away, the harder you're going to hit, because the faster you're going to impact against the buttocks. You'd hit a child's buttocks a bit harder then you would clap for your favourite musician at a concert. You aren't slapping your hands to cause pain, but you are impacting with your fingers against the palm to cause slight disturbance. A bit harder than a normal person would clap on average should be enough.

But see, you can't judge just how hard you're hitting. My dad used to hit me 'not very hard' but it would hurt worse than anything I got from bullies at school. He didn't know his own strength and he apologized but the damage was still done.

The way you've set up spanking is precisely what my church and the churches in my area disagree with. And, in my opinion, this isn't something we can agree to disagree on because agreeing to disagree on something that causes physical damage to a child is just opening our children up to be victims of violence. :x

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 12:29 PM
Well, I think a standard for strength should be implemented, and a parent shouldn't be able to decide if they're hitting too hard or too lightly.

Imagine that. An instruction booklet on how to spank your child properly lol

It seems silly, but too many people don't "know their own strength". A book might help.

"Spanking for Dummies". I can see it now.

Brolywrath
April 28th, 2010, 02:41 PM
Mika:

Why do you assume that parents who spank their children do so out of anger and frustration?

If you want to speak in regards of studies you need to understand that every single one is too vague when describing the nature of "spankings." They also exclude important factors like how the child was spanked, the nature of the spanking, why the child was spanked, the social economic position they are in--the list goes on. As you know, the term "spank" can be used in a number of ways.

It has been said repeatedly that not every child requires a spanking. Not every child needs to be spanked because they did something wrong.

In reference to your comment about beating children without them understanding what they did wrong, that obviously is child abuse. It also leads the child to believe that their parent is unstable.

The fact of the matter is in majority of cases, children are well aware of what their doing before they decide whether or not they want to break a rule or not listen. A lot can be controlled with a verbal warning, others maybe taking something away physically, but there will always be the children who need a physical reminder of why following the orders of their parents must be heeded.

Gold warehouse
April 28th, 2010, 02:56 PM
Using violence against children is totally unnecessary, it teaches them so many wrong things.
They could get the impression that using violence to deal with a problem is acceptable, these are the sort of kids that end up being bullies at school.
Or it could have the effect that Mika described, teaching a child to just shut up, creating feelings of shyness and fear. Instead of teaching a child why what they did is wrong, all violence does is make them fearful of doing something wrong. It's just full of negativety. There are better ways to deal with problems, some parents just can't be bothered or can't think of anything better to do.

To those who say "some children are just so bad they need to be physically disciplined" no child is born as a bad person, if a child is misbehaving terribly it is more than likely the parents' fault. Anyone can be taught what is right and wrong without being subjected to violence.

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 03:01 PM
Actually, children have a "rebellious" phase in them. Some children see what others do, and copy it. If a child sees another child badmouth their teacher / parent, or hears stories about how it's acceptable to do that by peers, they'll turn bad. It's not necessarily the parents fault, unless the parents are always swearing and abusing each other. We live in a disgusting world. You could have angel parents and turn out a bad apple, just because of the worldly influence - especially television, radio, the news, etc.

Also, you always start by teaching them verbally. It's when they keep on doing it and refuse to listen that you smack their bum.

Again: some things you don't spank them for. If they take an extra cookie, you don't spank them. You always tell them not to do that, even if they do it fifty times. You spank them if they become destructive (writing on the walls continuously), hurt someone else constantly, or badmouth the parent or teacher.

Those are acceptable circumstances. If a child breaks a toy, you don't spank'em for that either. It's only for very, very severe things.

Throat
April 28th, 2010, 04:29 PM
My father and mother used to spank me, but I think it only teaches a child how not to be punished again. I will never beat a kid to "teach", I'm quite sure if you talk to them a way they can understand, prizing good deeds rather than telling them it's nothing but their duty, they'll become better adults.

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 04:31 PM
Spanking for Dummies will not work because each parent / church group has a different idea on what spanking is. >->;

If, supossedly, I still agreed with the way I was raised and wished to include spanking in the future when I raise my children, the method I would use theoretically would be considered 'abuse' by your standards. However, by my hypothetical standards, you are the one who is doing the abusing. There's absolutely no viable middle source to determine which of us is right and which of us is wrong and because there's no way to easily mandate control over how people spank their children, it's best to just eliminate it to prevent people from taking it too far.

"If you can't stop fighting over it we'll just take it away and then you'll behave >:<"

We wouldn't be the first country to do it. If you refer to the chart I previously linked to, you would notice that in most Western 1st world countries, a child sometimes gets a smack here and there [as everyone has a breaking point] but almost nowhere in a 1st world country is there anything like what we have in the US. Example: My European/Australian friends are, for the most part, utterly appalled by the idea of children being treated with such disrespect and they don't have nearly the crime rates we do. :x We might want to look into why this is.

Fox♠
April 28th, 2010, 04:34 PM
I used to get a clip around the ear or my backside when I acted up as a kid and I feel I've grown up as a better adult because of it. And I'll do the exact same if I ever have kids. It doesn't teach fear, it teaches that there are consequences to bad actions.

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 04:37 PM
Spanking for Dummies will not work because each parent / church group has a different idea on what spanking is. >->;

Sure it would. It would tell you where to spank, how hard, how much, and under what circumstances. How wouldn't that work lol

As for the crime thing, spanking would barely have anything to do with it. America is more into violent and sexual video games; Europe is, too, but not as much. America has the most vile, sexually explicit television shows, movies, songs, video games, morals, and values, and it's just right to say that the people who live in the country that hosts the majority of this content would be the most sexually explicit, demeaning, violent individuals. They grew up with that stuff on TV, in songs, and in video games, and it influenced them in the end.

Really, spankings is like... so miniscule compared to the crap kids see on TV. Even "E"-rated films have sexual scenes and alcohol, violence, etc. It's become the norm', the "appropriate", and the "acceptable". Their idols are the badass, violent rappers and the actresses, singers, and actors who cheat on their husbands/wives, chase them down with golf clubs, and do drugs like cocaine, heroine, while dressing inappropriately.

That is what's causing it. Not spanking. Europe has an issue with the above as well, but it isn't as bad as in the home country :|

And lots of places in Europe permit spanking, according to your link up there. You were talking to the people who obviously didn't experience it, or obviously didn't realize it's allowed in 1/2 of Europe, Canada, and the US. It's an acceptable form of punishment as long as you don't go too far.

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 04:39 PM
I used to get a clip around the ear or my backside when I acted up as a kid and I feel I've grown up as a better adult because of it. And I'll do the exact same if I ever have kids. It doesn't teach fear, it teaches that there are consequences to bad actions.

See that I'm not horribly against. I personally don't like it but I can look the other way at a VERY LIGHT thwap an appropriate punishment on occasion especially if the child's doing something that could endangers them. I'm not okay with the rituals assorted with spanking. I had to fetch the spanking utensil, speak what I had done wrong and count the individual swats out loud. I then had to, without shedding a single tear, explain again what I had done wrong, apologize, hug and then go back to whatever I was doing like nothing had ever happened. :x

To be honest, I think everyone has different opinions in this thread on the actual definition of what 'okay spanking' is.

What it means to me isn't what it means to you, etc etc.

Fox♠
April 28th, 2010, 04:42 PM
There shouldn't be a guide because every child is different. One child may be extra sensitive to pain and would only need the lightest tap to set them straight, another may be frail and any excess force could cause unnecisary harm, there is no right or wrong way to "spank" a child; It's down to the parents.

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 04:42 PM
There shouldn't be a guide because every child is different. One child may be extra sensitive to pain and would only need the lightest tap to set them straight, another may be frail and any excess force could cause unnecisary harm, there is no right or wrong way to "spank" a child; It's down to the parents.

Ah, I forgot about frailness issues. Whoops :P

But you know what I mean. Obviously you don't beat them like a boxer would his opponent. Judge fairly, and don't bruise. That's all.

Fox♠
April 28th, 2010, 04:47 PM
Ah, I forgot about frailness issues. Whoops :P

But you know what I mean. Obviously you don't beat them like a boxer would his opponent. Judge fairly, and don't bruise. That's all.

In my opinion it should only ever be enough to sting for a short while and not actually hurt, and it should be the ONE tap, with a hand, not with a ruler, or belt or whatever. That's sadistic and sick imo.

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 04:48 PM
In my opinion it should only ever be enough to sting for a short while and not actually hurt, and it should be the ONE tap, with a hand, not with a ruler, or belt or whatever. That's sadistic and sick imo.

Glad we agree :] Like I said earlier, only for severe things, too, and only after you explain verbally a few times. It's when they really, really, really do not want to understand how severe it is that you spank them (i.e. hitting someone; badmouthing a parent / teacher; writing on the walls, etc.)

Throat
April 28th, 2010, 04:48 PM
I used to get a clip around the ear or my backside when I acted up as a kid and I feel I've grown up as a better adult because of it. And I'll do the exact same if I ever have kids. It doesn't teach fear, it teaches that there are consequences to bad actions.
Pain isn't the only way to punish a kid, maybe one could take away a toy or something he enjoys for some time, leave him thinking (which is a professional's suggestion).

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 04:49 PM
Pain isn't the only way to punish a kid, maybe one could take away a toy or something he enjoys for some time, leave him thinking (which is a professional's suggestion).

I'm sure the child will be thinking about what he did when his butt is stinging. He might also think mommy is evil, but he's never going to want to get that spanking again.

Toys being taken away should come with verbal warnings. If even at that, the kid doesn't want to listen, you spank them. You don't take anything away, but you spank them instead. That's after a few warnings, of course.

Fox♠
April 28th, 2010, 04:51 PM
Pain isn't the only way to punish a kid, maybe one could take away a toy or something he enjoys for some time, leave him thinking (which is a professional's suggestion).

A tap from dad sorted me out far quicker than mum taking my toys away, trust me. Kids often have more than just a few toys, if one is taken then they go get another

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 04:57 PM
A tap from dad sorted me out far quicker than mum taking my toys away, trust me. Kids often have more than just a few toys, if one is taken then they go get another

Exactly. I had plenty of "favourite" toys. Playing with another while waiting for my dad to give me back the one he took was easy for me as a kid.

Throat
April 28th, 2010, 04:58 PM
A tap from dad sorted me out far quicker than mum taking my toys away, trust me. Kids often have more than just a few toys, if one is taken then they go get another
God... then forbid the kid of playing with anything for a period.



I'm sure the child will be thinking about what he did when his butt is stinging*. He might also think mommy is evil, but he's never going to want to get that spanking again**.

Toys being taken away should come with verbal warnings. If even at that, the kid doesn't want to listen, you spank them. You don't take anything away, but you spank them instead. That's after a few warnings, of course.

*I think it's harder to think clearly in pain
**Yes, he'll know how to avoid being spanked again

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 04:59 PM
*I think it's harder to think clearly in pain
**Yes, he'll know how to avoid being spanked again

He might think skewed, but eventually he'll get it.

And if he knows how to not get spanked again, he knows something's wrong with what he did. It goes hand-in-hand.

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 05:00 PM
Sure it would. It would tell you where to spank, how hard, how much, and under what circumstances. How wouldn't that work lol

Because, AGAIN, the people writing that book would probaby have different presuppositions on what 'how hard' 'how much' and 'under what circumstances' means.

Here, I'll give examples to illustrate my point.

Person A: "Spanking is a way of asserting power over our children and frightening them into never doing something wrong again and, in turn, fearing the parents. We should teach children what they do wrong through methods like time-out or taking away a certain priveledge instead of punishing them through physical violence, ignoring them, or withdrawing your love."

Person B: "A child who is not spanked does not understand the meaning of respect. Spare the rod spoil the child. Children must be physically made to submit to the will of the parent or they will not learn"

Person C: "My parents never laid a hand on me and I've never been in serious trouble nor has anyone else in my family. I've been punished sure and I've not enjoyed being punished but I've never feared my parents. I respect them and in return, they give me freedoms that I have earned with this respect."

Person D: "We spank our children with a light smack for each year of their life in instances where all other methods of parenting fail because we believe it has grounding and works for a worst case scenario. We would never leave a mark and we would never strike in anger"

Now, the two groups above posted that would agree to spanking in the home have two different ways of looking at corporal punishment in the home. One believes it should be used only as a last resort, the other believes it should be used for almost everything. The methodology used is different in both cases as well.

There is no one way to agree on how/when/why/should you spank because each person's individual family dynamics and culture is different. It sucks to ban it for everyone but it's really the only way to make sure people quit abusing the system imo.

That is what's causing it. Not spanking. Europe has an issue with the above as well, but it isn't as bad as in the home country :|

And lots of places in Europe permit spanking, according to your link up there. You were talking to the people who obviously didn't experience it, or obviously didn't realize it's allowed in 1/2 of Europe, Canada, and the US. It's an acceptable form of punishment as long as you don't go too far.

Again, 'acceptable' does not mean 'the same way I experienced it'.

Another example of what I mean by this:

The methodolgy you described your parents using as a child had you mentioned it at the camp I worked at [a very right winged religious church camp that is not against corporal punishment] I would've had to report your parents to the proper authorities for an investigation because of the way it was preformed because, according to the laws in my state, your parents crossed a line by removing articles of clothing. In other states [Alabama I know for sure has no rule against this, other states might as well but AL is the only one I know off the top of my head] such things aren't a big deal at all and no charges would be filed/no complaint would be investigated.

It greatly differs from area to area as far as what's acceptable and what's not. It depends on the culture of the area, the context of who lives in what neighborhood, the income of that neighborhood and the activeness of parents in the lives of the children in those neighborhoods; all of these things determine whether or not spanking is accepted and to what extent it's supported. In some highly urbanized areas, the idea of what's expected and what's not can differ within each individual neighborhood

A private school in my local neighboorhood encourages parents to spank their children.

A public school reports all spanking cases to the Department of Human Services.

They cannot agree.

This is not a case where you can agree to disagree.

[If you want to look at crime rate differences look at the percentage of incarcerated youth in the US compared to other countries. Enough said.]

Chibi-chan
April 28th, 2010, 05:03 PM
Children who were spanked as a child are less likely to be incarcerated than those who weren't.
Just a fact I had to mention. If you'd like a source, I could find it, but I don't think it'd help your (if you are opposed) argument.

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 05:05 PM
Mm.. I don't think we can find any common ground xD

I just know how I'm going to discipline my kiddos, and I find it's the best way. Verbal warnings + take stuff away for all offences; the most serious ones would lead to spankings. Meanwhile, after the age of eight or nine, I'll start grounding them.

That's how I'm going to do it in any case.

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 05:05 PM
Children who were spanked as a child are less likely to be incarcerated than those who weren't.

Just a fact I had to mention. If you'd like a source, I could find it, but I don't think it'd help your (if you are opposed) argument.

I'm well aware of that but there are other factors that prevent incarcerated as well. I believe the study you're reffering to also mentions that parents who are simply more active in their children's lives are also those parents who are not parents of the incarcerated?

I think there are more defining factors than if a child was spanked or not when it comes to a child who enters a life of crime. :o

Edit: I did mention in a previous post of exceptions to my personal dislike of spanking. I just view that in American culture, there's no way to find a middle ground and too many people are abusing the spanking defense because there's no standard definition that people can agree on.

Throat
April 28th, 2010, 05:09 PM
Children who were spanked as a child are less likely to be incarcerated than those who weren't.
Just a fact I had to mention. If you'd like a source, I could find it, but I don't think it'd help your (if you are opposed) argument.
That's quite vague. I don't doubt your argument is right, but those cases of kids who were raised without being spanked probably were raised with no care over their character.

Chibi-chan
April 28th, 2010, 05:13 PM
Mm.. I don't think we can find any common ground xD

I just know how I'm going to discipline my kiddos, and I find it's the best way. Verbal warnings + take stuff away for all offences; the most serious ones would lead to spankings. Meanwhile, after the age of eight or nine, I'll start grounding them.

That's how I'm going to do it in any case.

I've never been grounded; sending your kid to their room just gives them too many possibilities, especially if you live in your room. Taking away toys doesn't work either.

I'm hopefully not going to spank them....I was spanked when I was a child, and it got the message across, but I really don't see myself doing it to my kids. ):


I'm well aware of that but there are other factors that prevent incarcerated as well. I believe the study you're reffering to also mentions that parents who are simply more active in their children's lives are also those parents who are not parents of the incarcerated?

I also know of children who are incarcerated who were punished. :x

Your experience =/= statistics. If you seriously want to see the facts, I suggest looking them up instead of each of you arguing on your own experiences.

Edit: I did mention in a previous post of exceptions to my personal dislike of spanking. I just view that in American culture, there's no way to find a middle ground and too many people are abusing the spanking defense because there's no standard definition that people can agree on.

Do you have any idea what they do in Asia?

Dakota
April 28th, 2010, 05:14 PM
I, for one, am totally against hitting children simply to discipline them. I know from painful experience what it can make go through a young child's mind. It teaches violence. Ironic, seeing as how your trying to make them more "civilized" shall we put it. I don't despise parents who do it (how could I? My parents are two of them), but I would certainly love it if they found other ways of discipline. Take the kids game instead of smacking them in the face, for crying out loud.


When I grow up, I vow to never hit my children, despite the circumstances. I don't want them growing up the way I did. I know saying it and doing it are two different things, but I think I can hold to my words.

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 05:17 PM
Your experience =/= statistics. If you seriously want to see the facts, I suggest looking them up instead of each of you arguing on your own experiences.

The problem with statistics in a pool like this, imo, is the pool they pull from. I don't think there's been a study yet that's accurately pulled information from each little 'sect' of corporal punishment.

Regardless, unless my child goes running for the street or grabs a hot pan, I won't even consider spanking my children. It may take longer, in my opinion, to work out a disciplinary kink but I think in the end it will be worth it.

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 05:17 PM
ake the kids game instead of smacking them in the face, for crying out loud.

That's different. See, anywhere besides the buttocks becomes abuse.

Dakota
April 28th, 2010, 05:20 PM
That's different. See, anywhere besides the buttocks becomes abuse.

Eh, I usually got the face. But smacking the buttocks ends up with the same results: violence... and pain. >_<

Gold warehouse
April 28th, 2010, 05:21 PM
Children who were spanked as a child are less likely to be incarcerated than those who weren't.
Just a fact I had to mention. If you'd like a source, I could find it, but I don't think it'd help your (if you are opposed) argument.
There's conflicting studies on the effects. (http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1983895,00.html)
Although it is likely that children who received no discipline are also likely to be anti-social, there are other forms of discipline apart from spanking. (http://edition.cnn.com/HEALTH/9708/14/nfm.spanking/)

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 05:22 PM
Eh, I usually got the face. But smacking the buttocks ends up with the same results: violence... and pain. >_<

Not exactly. The face is violent, but on the buttocks isn't. A child isn't going to go around smacking people's butts to beat them, if they do become violent. They'll go for the face. That's much more aggressive.

Though spanking the buttocks won't lead to violence :| Everyone I know was spanked, except for that one spoiled brat who's just terrible. Besides her, everyone else I know is fine, and passive. Funny how the only one who wasn't spanked is the bad, bishy one.

Brolywrath
April 28th, 2010, 05:22 PM
It sucks to ban it for everyone but it's really the only way to make sure people quit abusing the system imo.



Thank goodness your opinion isn't absolute!

That's no different from banning a particular video game or movie because minors decided to sneak and play or see it.

The method a parent chooses to punish their child is up to them and a number of factors. I have learned that those who are strongly against spanking were abused themselves and are highly sensitive individuals. That's unfortunate but two extremes need a middle ground.

The majority DO NOT abuse the system. To outlaw the entire "system" would be entirely irrational because of a few.

Chibi-chan
April 28th, 2010, 05:23 PM
Eh, I usually got the face. But smacking the buttocks ends up with the same results: violence... and pain. >_<

I would never hurt a child in the face! Slapping a child just seems impulsive out of anger. Saying "don't make me get the belt" is much more disciplinary which gives them time to consider, 'do I really want to do this?'

Spankings =/= Abuse. I find it insulting to someone who's been abused to compare the two :|

Dakota
April 28th, 2010, 05:24 PM
Not exactly. The face is violent, but on the buttocks isn't. A child isn't going to go around smacking people's butts to beat them, if they do become violent. They'll go for the face. That's much more aggressive.

Though spanking the buttocks won't lead to violence :| Everyone I know was spanked, except for that one spoiled brat who's just terrible. Besides her, everyone else I know is fine, and passive. Funny how the only one who wasn't spanked is the bad, bishy one.

I see what your getting at, but spanking the buttocks is a form of violence, despite the low severity of it. I guess it's only me who see's it the way I am. I mean, I understand why parents would spank kids, but I just don't like it.


I always got smacked in the face, so I might reply with biased answers, sorry. =(

Fox♠
April 28th, 2010, 05:24 PM
Thank goodness your opinion isn't absolute!

That's no different from banning a particular video game or movie because minors decided to sneak and play or see it.

The method a parent chooses to punish their child is up to them and a number of factors. I have learned that those who are strongly against spanking were abused themselves and are highly sensitive individuals. That's unfortunate but two extremes need a middle ground.

The majority DO NOT abuse the system. To outlaw the entire "system" would be entirely irrational because of a few.

But the problem is the system is abused. It doesn't matter if it's 1 parent or 1000 parents, it shouldn't happen. "Spanking" should never be designed to hurt the child, but in all too many cases that's exactly what it's used for.

Chibi-chan
April 28th, 2010, 05:26 PM
But the problem is the system is abused. It doesn't matter if it's 1 parent or 1000 parents, it shouldn't happen. "Spanking" should never be designed to hurt the child, but in all too many cases that's exactly what it's used for.

I agree with this; sometimes it was just better to cry when you get spanked than to say nothing, cause then a parent would make it hurt until you cried. Basically, they're looking to make you wish you regret you did what you did. That's the fundamental purpose behind spankings, is it not?

Dakota
April 28th, 2010, 05:26 PM
I would never hurt a child in the face! Slapping a child just seems impulsive out of anger. Saying "don't make me get the belt" is much more disciplinary which gives them time to consider, 'do I really want to do this?'

Spankings =/= Abuse. I find it insulting to someone who's been abused to compare the two :|

Okay, but kids do pick of from what there parents say. Saying things like that teaches them things like that. And they might use it on there kids, and so on. It's pretty much threatening, is it not?

Chibi-chan
April 28th, 2010, 05:28 PM
Okay, but kids do pick of from what there parents say. Saying things like that teaches them things like that. And they might use it on there kids, and so on. It's pretty much threatening, is it not?

I've never told anyone at school I was going to go take my belt off and beat them :|
That's a bit ridiculous. But yeah, I probably will threaten my children with that. It worked for me.

Brolywrath
April 28th, 2010, 05:28 PM
But the problem is the system is abused. It doesn't matter if it's 1 parent or 1000 parents, it shouldn't happen. "Spanking" should never be designed to hurt the child, but in all too many cases that's exactly what it's used for.

Every possible system you can think of is abused. How is this any different?

Spankings aren't meant to be pleasurable for a child. It's supposed to hurt. Otherwise a parent would be striking its child with no purpose.

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 05:33 PM
But the problem is the system is abused. It doesn't matter if it's 1 parent or 1000 parents, it shouldn't happen.

It sucks to kill the majority for the minority but if it protects just a few children then isn't it worth it?

I agree with this; sometimes it was just better to cry when you get spanked than to say nothing, cause then a parent would make it hurt until you cried. Basically, they're looking to make you wish you regret you did what you did. That's the fundamental purpose behind spankings, is it not?

It doesn't always instill regret tho. It instills, instead of regret, the notion that you absolutely cannot do what you did again or you'll get spanked again. For some kids, my sister included, they dare the parents to spank them again and they hit back. As far as crying goes, if I cried, I got spanked twice the amount I was originally given as punishment for crying. This is very common practice in the area I grew up.

The more I think about it, I think the idea of spanking is 'okay' but only if handled delicately and with love and compassion for the child's best interest. The parent should never be angry when he or she spanks the child and it should never be more than a brief reminder.

Unfortunately, you can't force people to abide by that rule.

I know it seems mean to punish the majority for the minority but again, if it protects kids then it's worth it. I don't want anyone having to go through what I went through and I didn't even go through that bad of a situation.

Fox♠
April 28th, 2010, 05:33 PM
Every possible system you can think of is abused. How is this any different?

Spankings aren't meant to be pleasurable for a child. It's supposed to hurt. Otherwise a parent would be striking its child with no purpose.

Don't pull silly questions that aren't relevent and aren't really accurate.

Hitting your child with intent to hurt and harm them isn't the same as giving them a quick lash to teach them a lesson, what you're defending is sadistic abuse of what should be a sound system.

Chibi-chan
April 28th, 2010, 05:38 PM
It sucks to kill the majority for the minority but if it protects just a few children then isn't it worth it?



It doesn't always instill regret tho. It instills, instead of regret, the notion that you absolutely cannot do what you did again or you'll get spanked again. For some kids, my sister included, they dare the parents to spank them again and they hit back. As far as crying goes, if I cried, I got spanked twice the amount I was originally given as punishment for crying. This is very common practice in the area I grew up.

You never dare your parents to spank you again! What power do you have against your parents? Absolutely none. That's something I would spank a kid for, outright defiance like that. Who the hell do they think they are? :| You dare your parent to spank you again, what, you think they'll run away in fear? It only stresses you didn't get the message. And yes! The purpose of spankings is that you WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN. You will never draw on the walls again, steal a cookie again, cheat again, backtalk again...


The more I think about it, I think the idea of spanking is 'okay' but only if handled delicately and with love and compassion for the child's best interest. The parent should never be angry when he or she spanks the child and it should never be more than a brief reminder.

Unfortunately, you can't force people to abide by that rule.

I know it seems mean to punish the majority for the minority but again, if it protects kids then it's worth it. I don't want anyone having to go through what I went through and I didn't even go through that bad of a situation.

Different kids respond to different things. I really think it depends on what kind of punishment really gets the point across.

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 05:41 PM
Don't pull silly questions that aren't relevent and aren't really accurate.

Hitting your child with intent to hurt and harm them isn't the same as giving them a quick lash to teach them a lesson, what you're defending is sadistic abuse of what should be a sound system.

Precisely.

An example [Sorry to repeat myself guys] of when a quick lash is appropriate:

"A small child reaches for a hot pan. A mother smacks the child's hand away. The child cries but leaves the pan alone."

A small child can't comprehend why they can't touch the pan. A 'nono don't touch' here isn't just irrelevant, it's dangerous. If they go for it again after a verbal warning and end up tipping it on themselves, they could be seriously injured. Same with running into a street. Talking back to a parent, coloring on the walls, that stuff isn't life threatening. It's a royal pain in the butt to deal with but it's not life threatening. It can be handled with other means of punishment that aren't as violent.

And just to be clear, I am not saying that smacking a child creates a violent child. In truth, in my experience [which I'm using because my personal experience is a first hand testimony which makes it a primary source of information which you are free to disagree with] it's made me abhor violence, it's made me meek and mild to the point where in certain situations, I can't speak for myself because I associate those things with a spanking. Perhaps to some of you my experience is 'abuse'. In the community I grew up in, I was a 'poster child' on how a child was supposed to be disciplined in the home.

Perspective, it changes based on your own individual culture.

You never dare your parents to spank you again! What power do you have against your parents? Absolutely none. That's something I would spank a kid for, outright defiance like that. Who the hell do they think they are? :| You dare your parent to spank you again, what, you think they'll run away in fear? It only stresses you didn't get the message. And yes! The purpose of spankings is that you WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN. You will never draw on the walls again, steal a cookie again, cheat again, backtalk again...

Or with cases like my sister, you get big enough and you hit the parents back and they don't screw with you anymore because now they're afraid of you.

'WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN' does not mean 'change the behaviour'

A child will make sure they don't ever get caught but they won't always feel sorry for what they've done regardless of what method is used.

And to be honest I think you've hit the nail on the head with that.

Every child is different and not one method, not even the ones I am preferential to, will work every time with every child in every circumstance.

Dakota
April 28th, 2010, 05:42 PM
I've never told anyone at school I was going to go take my belt off and beat them :|
That's a bit ridiculous. But yeah, I probably will threaten my children with that. It worked for me.

=/ I know what you mean, but... Ugh, it's so hard to explain. I guess I don't like the fact that parents use basically threats to make there child act the way they want, which is usually the right way. Can't they simply talk over it? I guess I am being a bit stubborn, but...

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 05:43 PM
You're protecting your child from potential danger. That's understandable.

I'm still all for spanking when a child defies you / mouths off / writes on the wall (after verbal warnings, of course). You're protecting them from being obnoxious little brats when they grow up lol

Brolywrath
April 28th, 2010, 05:45 PM
It sucks to kill the majority for the minority but if it protects just a few children then isn't it worth it?


How would it stop the few cases of abuse though? How exactly would this system work? Where would the guidelines come from? You would think outlawing firearms in particular states of the U.S would have decreased the gun crime but it has not one bit.

Don't pull silly questions that aren't relevent and aren't really accurate.

Interesting.
So you're suggesting that only the imaginary "spanking system" is abused then?

Hitting your child with intent to hurt and harm them isn't the same as giving them a quick lash to teach them a lesson, what you're defending is sadistic abuse of what should be a sound system.

Slow down there, partner.

I'm speaking of a proper spanking. Why it is abuse to hit your child beyond a "quick lash?" Who determines where the limit is? And more importantly, why are we speaking in such vague terms? Looping everything together for the sake of a few?

I would say, to strike quickly seems impulsive. Logically, a parent should never spank out of impulse and anger.

Most parents decide on what particular punishment they want to go with whether physical or not. That's not impulsive. By that time they have cooled down and can think clearly. What if a spanking was in order then?

Abusive? Sadistic because we don't agree? Laughable.

Chibi-chan
April 28th, 2010, 05:45 PM
=/ I know what you mean, but... Ugh, it's so hard to explain. I guess I don't like the fact that parents use basically threats to make there child act the way they want, which is usually the right way. Can't they simply talk over it? I guess I am being a bit stubborn, but...

A five year old could care less your adulttalk about how you can't draw on the wall. You really think they understand how much it will cost to paint over it or the damage it will do to the value of the house?

Haha, do you really think kids will listen to why you shouldn't backtalk to them? That's an oxymoron! If talking solved everything, the world would be at peace. Some adults can't even solve things by talking.

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 05:47 PM
A five year old could care less your adulttalk about how you can't draw on the wall. You really think they understand how much it will cost to paint over it or the damage it will do to the value of the house?

Couldn't you make the child paint over what he or she did or scrub away the mistake if it's erasable?

Wouldn't that be more productive in a sense than swatting them?

And what about redirection? Is that completely lost? Can't you say 'I love the artwork you've done but it's not okay to draw on the walls. We need to draw on the paper. After we clean up the wall together, we can draw a picture on this paper together." if it's a first time offense? If it's happened multiple times, something else may be in order but why spank first if you have other options that could very well work just as well?

I'm speaking of a proper spanking.

There is no way, in my opinion, to come up with a 'common' definition of what a proper spanking is in today's world.

Dakota
April 28th, 2010, 05:48 PM
A five year old could care less your adulttalk about how you can't draw on the wall. You really think they understand how much it will cost to paint over it or the damage it will do to the value of the house?

Haha, do you really think kids will listen to why you shouldn't backtalk to them? That's an oxymoron! If talking solved everything, the world would be at peace. Some adults can't even solve things by talking.


Well, when you put it that way... I guess you have a good point. I guess I'm just being really biased. Getting smacked in the face isn't something I've liked having done to me... No I'm unsure. >_>

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 05:48 PM
Some adults can't even solve things by talking.

That's so true :| A five-year-old doesn't know the value of a dollar; they think two five dollar bills is more money than a 20$ bill. Why would they understand the concept of "drawing on the walls will lower the value of the house by 5,000$". They don't care. They just want a big wall canvas lol

Now that I think of it, even teenagers don't know the value of money until they live on their own. Some adults don't even know either.

Brolywrath
April 28th, 2010, 05:50 PM
There is no way, in my opinion, to come up with a 'common' definition of what a proper spanking is in today's world.

I didn't ask your opinion regarding that, though. I asked, "How would it stop the few cases of abuse though? How exactly would this system work? Where would the guidelines come from?"

Chibi-chan
April 28th, 2010, 05:50 PM
Or with cases like my sister, you get big enough and you hit the parents back and they don't screw with you anymore because now they're afraid of you. .

Haha, at that point, I'd just kick her butt out of the house :|
If she wants to bite the hand that feed her, she doesn't deserve to be fed.
Unless my child is holding a deadly weapon, I would never be afraid of my child. I hold the key to my child's future. They better realize that!

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 05:53 PM
I didn't ask your opinion regarding that, though. I asked, "How would it stop the few cases of abuse though? How exactly would this system work? Where would the guidelines come from?"

I've asked that question myself.

They'd need to come from a variety of sources, not just one, and they'd need to cover all the basis. For example, you, Yusshin, myself, Fox and Chibi all have varying ideas on what is 'proper' for a spanking and what is not. How do you 'make everyone happy' and where do you draw a line between abuse and discpline that the majority of people would respect?

Before I injured my leg I worked with special needs children and I worked with Behavioral Special Needs children. It appalled me to see what those parents called 'discipline' and 'spankings'. Some of those kids came to school with welts on their bodies and the DHS couldn't do a thing because it was done under the parent's right to punish as they saw fit.

It wasn't every child I worked with sure, it was only a small percentage, but that small percentage is worth the overhaul imo. :c

Haha, at that point, I'd just kick her butt out of the house :|
If she wants to bite the hand that feed her, she doesn't deserve to be fed.

Haha, I agree. :p But at the same time, it's not always so simple for a parent to throw their own flesh and blood out of the house even if he/she deserves it. Intervention anyone? :D

Brolywrath
April 28th, 2010, 05:54 PM
Couldn't you make the child paint over what he or she did or scrub away the mistake if it's erasable?

Wouldn't that be more productive in a sense than swatting them?



Depends on a number of factors. Has the child written on the wall before and knows that this is unacceptable behavior?

Spanking isn't a method a parent should use so quickly. I believe in most cases it's not even necessary.

I've asked that question myself.

They'd need to come from a variety of sources, not just one, and they'd need to cover all the basis. For example, you, Yusshin, myself, Fox and Chibi all have varying ideas on what is 'proper' for a spanking and what is not. How do you 'make everyone happy' and where do you draw a line between abuse and discpline that the majority of people would respect?

Before I injured my leg I worked with special needs children and I worked with Behavioral Special Needs children. It appalled me to see what those parents called 'discipline' and 'spankings'. Some of those kids came to school with welts on their bodies and the DHS couldn't do a thing because it was done under the parent's right to punish as they saw fit.

It wasn't every child I worked with sure, it was only a small percentage, but that small percentage is worth the overhaul imo. :c

Summed up: "I don't know."

I thought so.

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 05:56 PM
The DHS is crappy, then.

My dad got super angry at me once. He hit me in the face for saying "**** you" to him. CAS was at our door the following day, prepared to examine the situation and take us away if need be. I don't approve of hitting anywhere other than the buttocks out of my own experience as a child. That was the first time my dad struck me anywhere that wasn't the buttocks, and it's true, now whenever my dad raises his hand super-fast, I think he's going to hit me and I cover my face. But damn, did it work. Hell yes it did.

My fiance was belted by his parents and his teachers. This is abuse, as is striking in the face.

Spanking so that it stings on the buttocks, it does not bleed, and you leave no welts, bruising, or long-term marks is the best way to describe what the appropriate force to be used on a child should be.

Klippy
April 28th, 2010, 05:57 PM
I agree with Chibi.

I hate all these TV shows where the parents say they can't control their child or their child gets pissed if they can't go out and party one night. Until they're 18, they're under the parent's control regardless of how they feel.

If my child ever hit me back, I'd take everything away from them until they turned 18. No door, no TV, no cellphone, no fun. They can go to school, then come home and do their homework, eat dinner then go to bed. Until they're 18, they're under my house and I'm the one feeding them, paying for their schooling and whatever else.

I was spanked as a child and I didn't cry about it like my parents were abusing me. I did something wrong and that taught me to not do it again. My parents also made sure they were there for me to discuss things when I was having trouble and I've turned out really well. If a spank is what it takes for some children to get it through their heads that what they're doing is wrong, then good. There's just a difference between spanking and beating your children.

EDIT: If I ever cussed at my parents, I'd get my butt handed to me. Any child that disrespects their parents like that does deserve to get smacked in the face and soap shoved down their throat. That's just silliness. You're under their roof and under their responsibility.

Chibi-chan
April 28th, 2010, 05:57 PM
I've asked that question myself.

They'd need to come from a variety of sources, not just one, and they'd need to cover all the basis. For example, you, Yusshin, myself, Fox and Chibi all have varying ideas on what is 'proper' for a spanking and what is not. How do you 'make everyone happy' and where do you draw a line between abuse and discpline that the majority of people would respect?

Before I injured my leg I worked with special needs children and I worked with Behavioral Special Needs children. It appalled me to see what those parents called 'discipline' and 'spankings'. Some of those kids came to school with welts on their bodies and the DHS couldn't do a thing because it was done under the parent's right to punish as they saw fit.

It wasn't every child I worked with sure, it was only a small percentage, but that small percentage is worth the overhaul imo. :c



Haha, I agree. :p But at the same time, it's not always so simple for a parent to throw their own flesh and blood out of the house even if he/she deserves it. Intervention anyone? :D

You are now creating an emotional fallacy :|
You are at a clinic. With people who have been abused. What are you going to see? Abuse! That's not a very strong arguement. That's like me going to a retirement home and saying that adults don't care for their parents so they send them there.

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 05:58 PM
Depends on a number of factors. Has the child written on the wall before and knows that this is unacceptable behavior?

Spanking isn't a method a parent should use so quickly. I believe in most cases it's not even necessary.

And I believe that while I hate it, there are cases that something like spanking is necessary.

Summed up: "I don't know."

I thought so.

You have no ideas on how to make a standard that works either, do you? :p

Spanking so that it stings on the buttocks, it does not bleed, and you leave no welts, bruising, or long-term marks is the best way to describe what the appropriate force to be used on a child should be.

That's your opinion. In my opinion, kids should be spanked through clothing. See how it continues to differ?

Brolywrath
April 28th, 2010, 06:00 PM
I agree with Chibi.

No door, no TV, no cellphone, no fun.

Oh, my gosh. LOL

I had my door taken away before. I cut school one day in my freshman year of high school. NEVER AGAIN. I'm one of those people who love having my door locked and closed.

You have no ideas on how to make a standard that works either, do you? :p

Ah, so you caught the point. ;)

I'm merely suggesting because something cannot be ceased completely doesn't mean drastic measures like some ridiculous legislation regarding spankings should be passed. It wouldn't even stop the abuse.

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 06:01 PM
That's your opinion. In my opinion, kids should be spanked through clothing. See how it continues to differ?

No o0 That works fine. You're spanking them, it stings, and you don't leave any bruisings.

I didn't say the child had to have a bare bottom. Go for clothing on if you want, but get your point across without breaching the no-blood, no-bruising, no-welts, no-long-term-marks "rule".

Chibi-chan
April 28th, 2010, 06:01 PM
The DHS is crappy, then.

My dad got super angry at me once. He hit me in the face for saying "**** you" to him. CAS was at our door the following day, prepared to examine the situation and take us away if need be. I don't approve of hitting anywhere other than the buttocks out of my own experience as a child. That was the first time my dad struck me anywhere that wasn't the buttocks, and it's true, now whenever my dad raises his hand super-fast, I think he's going to hit me and I cover my face. But damn, did it work. Hell yes it did.

My fiance was belted by his parents and his teachers. This is abuse, as is striking in the face.

Spanking so that it stings on the buttocks, it does not bleed, and you leave no welts, bruising, or long-term marks is the best way to describe what the appropriate force to be used on a child should be.

If I said "**** you" to my parents, I would be destroyed. There should be nothing that should ever really make you say that to them :| Like, ever. It's careless and unappreciative of what they went through for you. I mean, it's not like you didn't know it was coming, I'm sure :(

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 06:02 PM
If I said "**** you" to my parents, I would be destroyed. There should be nothing that should ever really make you say that to them :| Like, ever. It's careless and unappreciative of what they went through for you. I mean, it's not like you didn't know it was coming, I'm sure :(

I was six xD and I heard my aunt say that, so I thought it was correct. I have never, ever since said anything bad to my parents, because that is wrong :| I learnt respect that day.

Klippy
April 28th, 2010, 06:04 PM
Oh, my gosh. LOL

I had my door taken away before. I cut school one day in my freshman year of high school. NEVER AGAIN. I'm one of those people who love having my door locked and closed.

I'm actually 18 now and my parents still don't allow me to have my door closed. I don't argue with it, because as of this age, I'm a guest in their home that they allow to stay. They don't have any responsibility for me, but I have barely ever fought with my parents so they have no reason to kick me out and I have no reason to leave.

It's much easier to follow what your parents ask of you. Saves loads of trouble.

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 06:08 PM
I'm merely suggesting because something cannot be ceased completely doesn't mean drastic measures like some ridiculous legislation regarding spankings should be passed. It wouldn't even stop the abuse.

That's true as no law permanently stops any bad behavior but on the flip side, it would make the abuse if it was found out punishable instead of something just swept under the carpet.

It's much easier to follow what your parents ask of you. Saves loads of trouble.

If you agree with your parents and there's no abuse, I've got no problem with that statement. You live under their roof, you live by their rules. I don't however, think it should be a relationship built on fear or intimidation. You can in most cases, fix things without resorting to violence.

Sorry for editing my posts so frequently, it's rather hard to keep up with you all on a bad internet connection :P

Chibi-chan
April 28th, 2010, 06:11 PM
That's true as no law permanently stops any bad behavior but on the flip side, it would make the abuse if it was found out punishable instead of something just swept under the carpet.



If you agree with your parents and there's no abuse, I've got no problem with that statement. You live under their roof, you live by their rules. I don't however, think it should be a relationship built on fear or intimidation. You can in most cases, fix things without resorting to violence.

Sorry for editing my posts so frequently, it's rather hard to keep up with you all on a bad internet connection :P

You are talking really extreme here. :|

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 06:12 PM
You are talking really extreme here. :|

How so? I don't believe I've made any points that are too far out there. o.O

Brolywrath
April 28th, 2010, 06:18 PM
I'm actually 18 now and my parents still don't allow me to have my door closed. I don't argue with it, because as of this age, I'm a guest in their home that they allow to stay. They don't have any responsibility for me, but I have barely ever fought with my parents so they have no reason to kick me out and I have no reason to leave.

It's much easier to follow what your parents ask of you. Saves loads of trouble.

I agree. I'm 21 years old; a lot more mature. I did have a talking back phase and it didn't work out too good. lol

Generally I was a good kid. I had earned a lot of gadgets by just going with what they said. I can't even recall getting hit.

I'm so old I remember when my mom got me a gameboy color back in 1999 with the yellow version for my birthday. BEST GIFT EVER.

That's true as no law permanently stops any bad behavior but on the flip side, it would make the abuse if it was found out punishable instead of something just swept under the carpet.

Abusing a child is a felony offense in all U.S states. It's not swept under anything.

Klippy
April 28th, 2010, 06:27 PM
I agree. I'm 21 years old; a lot more mature. I did have a talking back phase and it didn't work out too good. lol

Generally I was a good kid. I had earned a lot of gadgets by just going with what they said. I can't even recall getting hit.

I'm so old I remember when my mom got me a gameboy color back in 1999 with the yellow version for my birthday. BEST GIFT EVER.

I actually talked back to my mom a few weeks ago. I'm a pretty sarcastic person and she is really sensitive when I make jokes, despite me making the same exact jokes for the last 5 years. So she got all offended and she said something about how rude and cruel I am and I said, "Oh geez, shut up..." and my step-dad got all mad and so did I, haha.

But we got over it quickly, since that's the first time we've ever fought really. :)

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 06:27 PM
Abusing a child is a felony offense in all U.S states. It's not swept under anything.

If it's considered abuse. I've seen more than one parent get away with what I would view as physical abuse [i.e. welts on the child etc] because they had chosen to 'spank' their children. :x I know this probably sounds farfetched to you but I have done my research on it and while it's not anywhere near the majority, it's not a small minority in terms of people taking advantage of that definition to get away with things they shouldn't.

There are other factors that contribute to that sort of thing, there always are, but isn't this something that could be fixed? Is there really no way to find a common definition for the sake of protecting kids? :c At least maybe a little more than we are?

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 06:31 PM
You can't cause welts on a child if you use your hand - only an object, and using objects = abuse right off the bat.

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 06:36 PM
You can't cause welts on a child if you use your hand - only an object, and using objects = abuse right off the bat.

If you hit hard enough with a hand yes you can cause welts. :P I play fought with my friends [Wet Slapping FTW] all the time growing up and we'd purposely hit eachother hard enough to leave welts.

Again, on the objects, a lot of parenting seminars now-adays recommend using an item like a wooden spoon or a plastic spatula because it's less abusive than the hand. :o

I guess I'm curious, do you guys think there should be a more standard definition on what spanking is/is not? Who should write it if you think there should be that definition?

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 06:37 PM
If you hit hard enough with a hand yes you can cause welts. :P I play fought with my friends [Wet Slapping FTW] all the time growing up and we'd purposely hit eachother hard enough to leave welts.

If that's true, then you're hitting too hard. Obviously. A good parent would know that.

Mika
April 28th, 2010, 06:39 PM
If that's true, then you're hitting too hard. Obviously. A good parent would know that.

Again, that's your opinion. And to some extent, isn't it true you can't always know if you're hitting too hard or too soft. Hit too soft, it doesn't make an impact right? hit too hard, you're going over the top.

But, again, isn't it true that what you believe is 'too hard' is 'just right' for another parent who is a 'good parent'? :o

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 06:40 PM
But, again, isn't it true that what you believe is 'too hard' is 'just right' for another parent who is a 'good parent'? :o

Nope, leaving welts is just sadistic, and there's something wrong with a parent who believes otherwise. Welts can have your children taken away, and there's a reason behind that.

ReyRey-Pyon
April 28th, 2010, 06:42 PM
I was whooped as a kid.
Never got hit hard enough to bruise or bleed, but it still hurt. It wasn't supposed to tickle.
I never feared my parents, as in I wasn;'t afraid to be around them. I knew they didn't want to hurt me. They love me.


I was told to stand in the corner. I was told to write a punishment a hundred times. They'd take away TV from me. etc etc etc

only If i was being really bratty and bad would They get all "don't make me spank you >:C"

Worked wayy better thank taking away toys, pffft when you're a kid, You'll play with ANYTHING xDD
Of coarse now I;m older, that doesn't work anymore. Taking things away. oh yeah no fun. not like when i was five and i could have fun with a cardboard box D:
And I still get told to stand in the hall. if i don't do my chore after being told x many times

Not fun, having to stand around all quiet . I can't do that "standing still" thing. :C

whatever zskjhdkxzc

Some kids need the parents to spank the devil out of them. but I really don't think its nessesary to use unless like, they really really get bad oAo

RuRuBell
April 28th, 2010, 09:08 PM
My mom would make food that I hated as punishment...well, it worked for me. :|

Nowadays I just don't disobey my parents because I've become more considerate to their feelings, and don't want to disappoint them.

Gary Oak FTW
April 28th, 2010, 09:23 PM
I wish you guys could've had a talk with my dad when I was 7,I get more whoopings than I can remember.

FaithInMe
April 28th, 2010, 10:59 PM
It was actually a struggle for me to read all the last 3.5 pages of this.
I seriously do not believe much of it at all.
Kids need (and Ill say it again) PROPER discipline.
They're allowed to get away with way too much stuff these days, because they know they can call the cops if there parents so much as touch them the tiniest bit to hard.
What they need is to be seriously flogged.
Who cares if they get a little bit scared of their parents, they'll almost never do something wrong again.
The most powerful tool for anyone in a position of authority, whether it be a parent, cops, or leaders of any sort, is fear.
Damn kids these days need to harden up a bit. In my opinion.

Flame away.

Sotto Voce
April 29th, 2010, 06:29 AM
They're allowed to get away with way too much stuff these days, because they know they can call the cops if there parents so much as touch them the tiniest bit to hard.
What they need is to be seriously flogged.
Who cares if they get a little bit scared of their parents, they'll almost never do something wrong again.
The most powerful tool for anyone in a position of authority, whether it be a parent, cops, or leaders of any sort, is fear.
Damn kids these days need to harden up a bit. In my opinion.

Flame away.

Agreed. Every kid needs a good spanking when needed. So as long as the parents aren't going over the top. My mother broke a wooden spoon on my behind once; had everything taken out of my room for a week except my dresser and mattress (these happened when I was young, obviously); had to write "I will not (insert bad thing I did here)..." a couple hundred times (on a couple occassions); etc. and both my brothers and I have turned out to be good kids and we are a very close family.

I rarely hear of young children getting spanked, getting the soap/hot pepper in their tongues, or whatever other punishment we (speaking for other forum members) had; and I have a friend that works at an after-school program and she works with 5th graders and younger and they are so RUDE and they LACK RESPECT for adults and don't even get me started on their LANGUAGE. I'm a senior in high school, a 6-12th grade school, and the things coming out of the mouths of the 6th graders coming from the elementary school is HORRENDOUS. They're spouting off things, words my class never learned til 7th or 8th grade. Since our old principal left--right after our class moved on to the high school--and rules and punishment there have become way too lenient. We had consequences for poor choices we made and they never happen anymore, and I am very disappointed.

I can only imagine what I'll have to put up with when I start teaching... I am not a super-strict person by any means (I aide for a few teachers here--very good ones--and the kids love me) but I am not overly-soft either. I know when and how to put my foot down, and actually, I put up with a lot of crap from kids--I may be a teeny-bit too soft, but that's my personality--I let people walk all over me too much.

I feel like a hypocrite now... .-.

Sorry, went a little off-topic! ^_^;

Kids these days have it far too easy and parents have softened up too much, in my opinion.
And I'm not going to lie--I am a little afraid of having kids now, because no matter how good a mother I may be, they're still going to pick up this crap from other kids and their parents...
But then again, I think I can overcome that and apply my mother's parenting ways.

It'll all work out somehow.

Sorry, end of rant!

Yusshin
April 29th, 2010, 06:31 AM
I've seen five-year-olds singing songs about rape and violence, filled with swear words and other crude material.

The parents laugh because it's "cute", but that kind of thing shouldn't be acceptable. Those are some bad parents in all honesty :| The kid's going to go to school thinking it's fine, and never be punished for spurring slander every which way and that.

It's kinda depressing.

Zet
April 29th, 2010, 06:37 AM
I saw some woman discipline her kid at the checkout counter at a supermarket today. She told him not to bite her any more and than came the slap, but thankfully the kid didn't cry too loud.

hiphiphippo
April 29th, 2010, 03:56 PM
i saw some people mentioning kids living in fear of being spanked, so i thought i'd share some of my own experiences

i'll be referring back to my previous post, so here:

when my dad gets mad, he goes nuts. he doesnt spank any of his children unless he's extremely mad. and so from stories, i know that my dad spanked me pretty badly just once, which worked (i think it was on the butt, i'm not sure). i dont even remember it happening but it must have been pretty scary. he never spanked me or any of my siblings more than once or twice

nowadays, i understand that my dad can be very mean and powerful, so i'll avoid doing certain things in fear of punishment
as a teen, i'm sure my dad won't be hitting me anymore, but i still fear being yelled at by him from seeing him yell at others

the kind of fear that i have for my dad is just like "i shouldn't do ----, dad wouldn't approve" so it's not very major
i'm still quite close with my dad, and i love him


i understand that some kids have been treated harsher which may cause more fear, but i'm just sharing my experiences

also, idk if it's been mentioned before, but if a child gets spanked at a young age like me, they may not remember getting spanked but will still keep the discipline

Trap-Eds
April 29th, 2010, 05:03 PM
Shoot, I swore I posted in this thread. /darndatabaseerrors

But anyway, to disipline my kids I waould warn them and be stern at first, then if they continue being naughty or whatever I'd spank 'em. Or give them the evil eye, if we're in public.

Meowth! That's right!
April 30th, 2010, 06:05 AM
You know what really annoys me is parents who never spank or even yell at their kids, let them throw tantrums in public, give them candy everyday and then when their assh*le kids are running wild at school and mouthing off to everyone they blame their bad behaviour on "ADD".

Guillermo
April 30th, 2010, 10:44 PM
You know what really annoys me is parents who never spank or even yell at their kids, let them throw tantrums in public, give them candy everyday and then when their assh*le kids are running wild at school and mouthing off to everyone they blame their bad behaviour on "ADD".
As I'm still only 15, I still classify myself as a child. However, I feel much worse about myself when my father or grandparents say that they're disappointed in me rather than yell. My father has never yelled at me, or even hit me. I was always a good kid and I still am. If a kid decides that he/she is going to throw a tantrum, they will throw a tantrum, regardless of what the parent does.

Babies are babies. They don't know right from wrong and they rely on their parents to set a good example. However, letting a child learn on their own is also a good example.

Rich Boy Rob
May 1st, 2010, 12:46 PM
No. It's illegal to hit children in the UK anyway. The only thing it encourages is fear of being hurt, they aren't learning why it is wrong. Being given a talking to is a far far far better option in my opinion.

As I'm still only 15, I still classify myself as a child. However, I feel much worse about myself when my father or grandparents say that they're disappointed in me rather than yell. My father has never yelled at me, or even hit me. I was always a good kid and I still am. If a kid decides that he/she is going to throw a tantrum, they will throw a tantrum, regardless of what the parent does.

Babies are babies. They don't know right from wrong and they rely on their parents to set a good example. However, letting a child learn on their own is also a good example.

This is exactly how I feel. Children live to please their parents, and will feel bad if they have been told they have disappointing.

piece of something
May 1st, 2010, 01:09 PM
i think it's fine to discipline a child using physical force so long it's appropriate for the offense and not overdone...i was spanked growing up and gotta say it worked better than just about everything else xD;

Rich Boy Rob
May 1st, 2010, 01:24 PM
i think it's fine to discipline a child using physical force so long it's appropriate for the offense and not overdone...i was spanked growing up and gotta say it worked better than just about everything else xD;

How can you tell it worked better? To make a genuinely valid comparison, you'd have to be brought up from scratch twice, which is of course impossible.

piece of something
May 1st, 2010, 01:48 PM
How can you tell it worked better? To make a genuinely valid comparison, you'd have to be brought up from scratch twice, which is of course impossible.

ah, fair enough...totally agree...when i say it worked better i mean nothing else made me not want to do bad than knowing a potential smack was at the end of it :P

Rich Boy Rob
May 1st, 2010, 01:50 PM
ah, fair enough...totally agree...when i say it worked better i mean nothing else made me not want to do bad than knowing a potential smack was at the end of it :P

That's what I was talking about earlier. I don't think fear tactics should be employed in parenting.

piece of something
May 1st, 2010, 01:57 PM
That's what I was talking about earlier. I don't think fear tactics should be employed in parenting.

okay, that's fine, i can imagine why'd you feel that way. personally i don't have a problem with fear being used...you can still love and respect someone you fear tho in my case it was more fear of the consequences of the action than the person dishing it out...i ended up fearing doing bad, which to me isn't a horrible outcome. i think fear is natural in influencing behavior for a lot of things in life not just for the topic at hand.

Narcissus Secret
May 1st, 2010, 08:55 PM
I don't really think that spanking is good, or even necessary. I've known many a people who far well behaved than I, and they never got a spanking; whereas I have.

Also, when my cousin repeatedly ran way, smoke and drank.. my aunt just called the cops. They told her she could do whatever she felt was in reason to keep him at home. They watched as she smacked him around and they only thing they said was nothing to the face/groin. But.. he is still the same person he always was.

So.... things like spanking tend to be ineffective, and probably just inspire more rebellion to get back at the !@#$% who hit me.

FaithInMe
May 1st, 2010, 11:38 PM
I dont agree with that at all Im afraid.
Had your cousin been disciplined properly a lesson would have be learnt, in my opinion.
Obviously wasnt beaten hard enough.
I know I learnt my lessons the hard way.

Kenpari
May 2nd, 2010, 06:33 AM
I believe if the child is very disobedient and acts up a lot then it's necessary for physical discipline to be used. Sometimes a kid just doesn't learn unless you beat it into them(and I'm not talking about any thing extremely violent here, in case "beat" sounds bad to you). I was spanked when I was young and got the belt when I was older, and it was the same with my parents and grandparents(but my grandma's family got the stick).

Chiku Hamasaki
May 2nd, 2010, 06:49 AM
Well to be honest, i have been disciplined like that. Although you could say that my mother never once used her hand. Unless she was using a fist. It's come to my attention that a lot of parents seem to think this behavior is necessary when in fact its not. Yeah, okay, on the bottom sure. Give it a go, if that's the only way that that certain child will understand, then fine. But they should never .. EVER grab house hold objects to hurt the child more, thinking it will help. It doesn't. To be honest, I'm rebellious towards my mother now, i refuse to let her hurt me in that manner anymore.

Of course the problem now is, if i put my arm up or something for self-defense, she'll just get more pissed and throw things. &when she's in a good mood, which only happens when she's about to leave for work or when a friend is over, she talks about her mother.. My grandmother, did that to her. Then she'll speak of other people, saying something about them breaking the family chain. I think all the parents that have been hurt in such a rude manner, should break the chain, yes. But bahh, my mom is being a hypocrite ;__;

I plan on only spanking my child with my hand, and only on the bottom. I don't know how far that will get me. Considering the fact that all kids are different.. But i will never get as bad as my mother. I refuse. That's just plain straight out cruel.

Guillermo
May 3rd, 2010, 12:04 AM
I dont agree with that at all Im afraid.
Had your cousin been disciplined properly a lesson would have be learnt, in my opinion.
Obviously wasnt beaten hard enough.
I know I learnt my lessons the hard way.
But as it goes, you can't speak for the entire world. One person who was raised properly from harsh discipline and being thrown through doors doesn't make hitting people right.

FaithInMe
May 3rd, 2010, 02:00 AM
I wasnt speaking for the entire world.
I said, 'in my opinion', how could I single my own opinion out any more?
As it were, it doesnt make it wrong either.

perfectmonster
May 3rd, 2010, 03:21 AM
I agree with Yusshin, spanking your child can't hurt them so much they are hospitalised. I got spanked a lot when I was a kid (But I was a stupid kid, so I deserved it...) I don't blame my parents, they have to do what they have to do. The only time I think they went over the top was when my mum literally washed my mouth out with soap. It was ick, tasted horrible, and I nearly swallowed the bar. But she realised she had gone to far and apolagised appropriatley. Overall, I think spanking is sometimes necessary, but anything over that is just plain sick. :D *Ends rant*

TRIFORCE89
May 3rd, 2010, 04:52 AM
Spanking is wrong. You don't hit anyone weaker than you or who cannot defend themselves. Especially your own children.

And what does it teach them? If you don't do as you're told, you'll get smacked?

In my family, both when I was a small child, and today with my younger cousins, we treat children just like adults...but smaller. You don't yell, but you use a stern voice. You get your point across. And you give reasons and explanations - even if they're child-friendly. It's not "Listen to me, *slap*" it's "Here's why you need to do this (or not do this)"

Not that my entire family is like that. I've seen both cases. And in watching the kids grow up over the years, certainly those who were treated like they were intelligent, treated with respect and love, are certainly better-off and more well-behaved that those who were spanked. Those other kids continue to misbehave and are loud and violent.

If you treat your kids with respect, then later on they'll treat you with respect.

salochin
May 3rd, 2010, 05:23 PM
Do you think that spanking children is wrong? If so what disciplinary tactics would you use as a parent? I personally believe that spanking is a neccesary action. Spare the rod, spare the child.

As long as the bat isn't too heavy. Just kidding, but spanking isn't necessary in my opinion, you need to be firm yes, but just remember a firm look at a small child who is half your size does enough without hitting them, but then again everyone has there own parenting style. :3