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Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 11:39 AM
No Flaming.

What are your thoughts on relationships nowadays? How do you see them?

From how I see it, drama has become the main thing in a relationship. If there's not enough drama, it's just not "exciting" enough for the majority of people. People seem to be trying to incorperate what they see in reality shows into their real-life relationships, when reality shows are unrealistic in regards to happiness in a couple.

Now, the following isn't because of my religion, or my previous one (Christianity). The following is what I believe is wrong with relationships in society today, and why I feel it's wrong. These are morals and values that I've discovered and I live by, and I'd like to see how other people feel about some of these things.

I personally feel that women and men shouldn't expose too much of their body. Why? Because lurking eyes will see exposed skin, and perhaps think obscene things. These comments shouldn't be taken as flattering, but insulting; most people are flattered by it, though, and the partner more often than not thinks they have the "hottest piece of ass" because of it. Mini-skirts, tube-tops, and short-shorts have become appropriate. So has low V-necks. I personally would never wear something like that out of respect - a person's body belongs to themselves, and their partner, and not to the entire world so they can look at it sexually.

Another thing is strip clubs, bars, "gentleman" clubs, and other similar places. Why would someone in a good relationship want to watch a man or a woman flaunt their stuff for money? Why would someone want to see a 1/2 nude body that wasn't theirs or their partner's? Bars are places to pick up men and women for one-night stands. Even in a group, I don't feel that bars are an appropriate place to "hang out". Surely a restaurant bar would be just as fitting. A similar thing would be pornography. Again, why would you want to look at another person's naked body that wasn't yours or your partner's? Surely your partner's body is enough to satisfy you?

Checking out other men / women while in a relationship is another thing, too. When you're in a relationship, you should only find your partner attractive truly. Sure, you can say that "so and so is cute" when it's brought to your attention by another person, but it should be done apathetically, and you shouldn't search for people to compliment and/or drool over. I don't get that at all. Most couples permit this, when it's just showing disloyalty.

Defending your partner is another issue. Most men and women don't even defend their partner when they're ridiculed - they laugh along with it, or say nothing, or murmur "don't do that". They don't stand up for their partner at all. They might even still be friends / hang out with the person who humiliates and talks badly about their partner. I don't know how people can see this as reasonable to do.

Kinkiness is another thing. If you have one woman or one man, why would you want another person to look at you while you're having an intimate moment? It's a sacred thing, and not something done out of pleasure for you or another's prowling eyes. Threesomes, chairs, toys, etc. - why? Why has this stuff become appropriate, when it's truly disgusting at every angle?

My father is one of those prowling men who like early-twenties women, pornography, etc. He disgusts me to no end. Really.

How do you guys feel about the following (I've expressed my views; now, share yours, if desired):

- Revealing clothing / your partner baiting themselves to other men/women
- Strip clubs & bars
- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes
- Defending your partner when needed
- Intimacy in general

Try to be broad on that last part. Obviously details would get this thread closed :|

Gold warehouse
April 28th, 2010, 01:20 PM
In response to all the 'why' questions you've made; everyone's different, everyone has a different perspective on what is and isn't appropriate, aswell as different urges and levels of self-control.

- Revealing clothing / your partner baiting themselves to other men/women
Nudity is nudity, sex is sex. They are two different things. Exposure of the body is not always suggesting sex or "baiting" other people, people wearing swimwear at a pool, for example, aren't all looking for some action; I don't see why being revealing in any other way is different. It wouldn't really bother me, although if other people were gawking over my partner that would bother me, although they would be the source of annoyance rather than my ~revealing partner~ although I doubt anyone I'm with would dress in that fashion anyway seeing as I prefer actual prettiness rather than playboy girl wannabes.

- Strip clubs & bars
To each their own, if someone wants to go there for entertainment, fine by me. I wouldn't though.

- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes
Porn doesn't ever interest me so I can't comment on that. Admiring the beauty of another is fine, flirting (or "drooling over" as you put it) would bother me though.

- Defending your partner when needed
Of course I would.
Most men and women don't even defend their partner when they're ridiculed - they laugh along with it, or say nothing, or murmur "don't do that". They don't stand up for their partner at all. They might even still be friends / hang out with the person who humiliates and talks badly about their partner. I don't know how people can see this as reasonable to do.This is just cowardice, I doubt many people think that it's actually reasonable they're just too cowardly to say anything.

- Intimacy in general
why would you want another person to look at you while you're having an intimate moment? It's a sacred thing, and not something done out of pleasure for you or another's prowling eyes. You mean being intimate in public? I'll be intimate wherever I want, I don't care if some pervert is getting wet over watching it.
"threesomes" no.
"chairs" lol.
"toys" redundant.

Alinthea
April 28th, 2010, 01:30 PM
Relationships are wayyy too much effort for what they are in my opinion. Anyway:

- Revealing clothing / your partner baiting themselves to other men/women
If it is in a private area and you are alone, then that is wrong if you are taken.
Bikinis and such on holiday, beach, swimming pool (etc) are fine.

- Strip clubs & bars
Bit of a laugh and nothing bad if you don't take it too far. Been to a few for some 18ths and 21sts, ain't that great.

- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes
Guys will always look at porn. End off.

- Defending your partner when needed
A must or you are a crap partner.

- Intimacy in general
Depends but normally no.

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 01:31 PM
Yeah, this is just an opinion thread really xD Not a debate one.

Obviously bathing suits are different. That serves a purpose - it's a bit, uh, I don't know how to say that. You wouldn't swim in a shirt lol but showing off your body for the purpose of showing off, I see that as rather different than a swimsuit.

You mean being intimate in public? I'll be intimate wherever I want, I don't care if some pervert is getting wet over watching it.

Kissing and such in public is fine. I was meaning, inviting another couple or another man or woman to watch while you perform intimate activities in your home. Not just kissing. You get the idea << I'm just curious why people like that / approve of that / would want to do that.

We're all raised differently. I'd just like to see how other people see these types of things.

- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes
Guys will always look at porn. End off.

Not all men, no. My fiance doesn't do that, and neither do I. The majority do look at porn, though, so I see what you mean when you say that.

Gold warehouse
April 28th, 2010, 01:41 PM
Obviously bathing suits are different. That serves a purpose - it's a bit, uh, I don't know how to say that. You wouldn't swim in a shirt lol but showing off your body for the purpose of showing off, I see that as rather different than a swimsuit.I know what you mean, I was just saying I don't really see why it's different exposing yourself in other situations. In other cultures nudity is far more accepted as a social norm, unfortunately it seems people are more perverted than that in North America & Europe, so nudity is instantly associated with sex.

Kissing and such in public is fine. I was meaning, inviting another couple or another man or woman to watch while you perform intimate activities in your home. Not just kissing. You get the idea << I'm just curious why people like that / approve of that / would want to do that.Lmao. Whatever excites them I guess, as long as everyone's consenting and comfortable with it, why not.

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 01:46 PM
It's different because when you go swimming, you need to wear a swimsuit to be comfortable. Meanwhile, you're perfectly capable of dressing yourself to go to school in comfortable jeans and a covering shirt, and still be attractive / feel nice about yourself. The difference is that men and women are dressing in a way to attract attention, and usually, that attention is sexual and men and women both find it flattering.

That's America for you. If you show your breasts a tiny bit, or wear tight clothing, men will pant as they walk by. It's a country full of perverts.

Canada has been influenced by it, too. Nudity = sexual thoughts. It's disgusting that men and women look at each other and think that way instantly, like a pack of wild dogs.

I noticed a pattern. In places where television is permitted to show sexual and violent themes, men and women are more perverted and violent. Specifically Hollywood movies and reality shows. The new Transformers: Revenge is rated E, and it had a provokative scene that was sexual. They weren't nude, no, but the guy was looking at her breasts and she was on top of him. How is that an "E" film?

I associate most of the perverted issue with Hollywood. Europeans and North Americans <3 Hollywood and reality shows. The rest of the world really doesn't watch Hollywood or American-based TV shows. It seems to be a pattern.

Dakota
April 28th, 2010, 01:49 PM
- Revealing clothing / your partner baiting themselves to other men/women
Well, revealing of cloths isn't really baiting, as already said. As for my partner, I'd talk to her. I'm not gonna get mad though.
- Strip clubs & bars
For entertainment, fine. As long as they keep themselves level headed
- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes
A lot of males look at porn (I admire the ones that don't). Admitingly, I have gone through that path. >_>. As for checking out other people, as long as they don't make a move, I'm preatty lax, actually. As for wandering eyes, to me, the're totally irrelevant.
- Defending your partner when needed
100%. I've very protective
- Intimacy in general
Intimacy in front of others? Ehh... kissing, okay. Hugging, okay. Exposing very intimate stuff, not okay

Fxcking Tatertots
April 28th, 2010, 02:25 PM
- Revealing clothing / your partner baiting themselves to other men/women

I would dump them. I understand if it's a decent bikini for a pool/beach/whatever where a bikini is appropriate, but that is the only exception. I hate when my guy looks at other girls in that way.

- Strip clubs & bars

Overrated, and crawled by scum. I like my guys humble and homebodies, not bar crawling and strip club going chauvinists. It's my definition of "he will be an ******* to me if I don't go to the gym 4 times a week or grow a single pimple".

- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes

I hate porn. I mean, HATE. It ruined my last relationship. And when a guy I'm in a relationship mentions another girl in a "oh, she's cute" way, I get mad. I'm not exactly the prettiest thing, and in a world full of perfect skin, hair, and the bane of my existence, Photoshopped appearances, I'm considered "ugly". So it makes me feel worse about myself.

- Defending your partner when needed

If he can defend himself, it's fine. Otherwise, the peon will receive either offensive words or a punch in the face, depending on my mood.

- Intimacy in general

As long as it's not turning into "public sex" then it's ok.

INB4 prude or uptight.

Kura
April 28th, 2010, 03:03 PM
So basically your argument is.. what you hate about relationships nowadays is wandering eyes, and allowing cheating/ infidelity to be acceptable or appropriate.

I agree with what you're saying, but you pretty much can't stop it. Sexuality and nudity is the same everywhere and you just gotta try to find a guy or girl that you can set up your OWN relationship rules with.
Heck, sure some couples might love pornography and public expose and etc. And others don't. YOU gotta set that standard and tell your girlfriend/ boyfriend what your boundaries are and what's acceptable if you or they are going to stay in the relationship together.

That's what I'm sayin' about this.

Yusshin
April 28th, 2010, 03:05 PM
Pretty much. I'm just curious why others find it acceptable. I've never been familiar with that after all. Having the personality I do, it's always been taboo those kinds of things.

I'm just looking to see what others have to say, and why they feel that way, so I can understand better :]

RuRuBell
April 28th, 2010, 03:06 PM
I'm a huge contradiction when it comes to this. On one hand, I hate how girls are so sexualized now. It makes me mad when I walk down the street and see girls in shorts that look more like panties. But, you know, it's what they want to wear. I don't like it, I don't wear it.

On the other hand, I like porn (will I be the only one who admits this?), strip clubs, etc, even though I know it's demeaning to women.
I can understand that sexuality is a part of human life. It shouldn't be a HUGE part of it, but it's perfectly normal to look at someone and think that they're attractive. If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't blame him for checking out other girls. Just because he's with me, doesn't mean all other girls will suddenly become ugly. I think it's only human nature to look at someone who's physically attractive...it'd be a waste of my time and his if I became jealous, and it would strain our relationship. It just seems unfair, too, to demand that he only look at me.

Loyalty is a huge must in a relationship, though...I would never consider someone who would ridicule me in public along with his friends out of cowardice, or whatever else.

Throat
April 28th, 2010, 04:10 PM
Basically, I'd be happy with someone who loves me and I can rely on.

I wouldn't date/marry a promiscuous girl, it doesn't mean she can't be open minded, I just don't want to go through things such as jealousy. "Defending your partner", well, as I said, I don't want someone I can't rely on, although I wouldn't let anyone try to ridicule me. About the intimacy, we can't avoid the voyeurs, hehe.

Ayselipera
April 28th, 2010, 05:20 PM
I've always been a very open person. I really don't care what the person beside me is doing as long as they aren't hurting anyone else. So when it comes to this stuff I tend to just let it be. To each their own as they say. Sorry this is such a short and not as elegant answer, but I'd just end up saying the same thing to every circumstance you mentioned so I might as well sum it all up here.

Throat
April 28th, 2010, 05:29 PM
I've always been a very open person. I really don't care what the person beside me is doing as long as they aren't hurting anyone else. So when it comes to this stuff I tend to just let it be. To each their own as they say. Sorry this is such a short and not as elegant answer, but I'd just end up saying the same thing to every circumstance you mentioned so I might as well sum it all up here.
You mean you wouldn't mind having an open relationship?

shookie
April 28th, 2010, 05:56 PM
I've never really had a relationship or anything close to a boyfriend/girlfriend, but I've still picked up on a lot of things from what my friends have gone through...especially since I'm usually caught in the middle. >_>

- Revealing clothing
Depends entirely on the circumstance. Do I want to go to a beach and have my guy show up in a Speedo? No, I think Speedos are only for professional swimmers and need to stay that way. If my guy is more comfortable in one though, I don't want to make him change his shorts just so I'll feel safer.

- Your partner baiting themselves to other men/women
Yeah, I was in the middle of a situation like this, and it's something that's hard to come back from. If you're physically and emotionally uninterested in your partner to the point where you direct all of your attention onto someone more desirable, I don't understand why you would stay with that person. Just having a casual conversation with somebody of the desirable sex is one thing, but flirting and making passes is another.

- Strip clubs & bars
Bars are fine. Most bars have great food and I still have fun with people even if I don't drink. Strip clubs I am completely against, though. It's not because they'd be around other women, even if buddies take them to a strip club for whatever reason, but I've heard some bad stories about the women that work at such places, and I wouldn't want my guy to treat women that way.

- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes
I try to live by a "look but don't touch" standard. I can't help it if there are women out there that are more physically attractive than me, and likewise, I also can't help it if there are physically attractive men around. Wandering eyes will happen and to freak out at every quick glance would get tiring and make me seem insecure.
Pornography I'm against as well. Yes, there's some well-done/artistically made footage out there, but most of what's mainstream is very demeaning to women and just, well, ridiculous and unrealistic.

- Defending your partner when needed
I don't even understand how somebody couldn't defend their partner. If I was getting picked on and my guy stood by twiddling his thumbs, I would kick his butt to the curb faster than he could say "sorry." It boggles me that people out there do this on a regular basis and yet the couple stays together.

- Intimacy in general
PDA in terms of hugging, kissing, holding hands and so on within the normal range is fine by me. Smothering each other with love in public gets nauseating after a while. Dealing with people who have "No you hang up first! No you hang up first!" conversations with other people around them makes me want to punch them in the head. Being physically intimate to the point where you need to bust out portable censor bars is definitely crossing the line. Sure, if it doesn't actually involve (errrr) or hurt anybody around them then it's really nobody's business, but that's something that should really be left private.

Ayselipera
April 28th, 2010, 06:36 PM
You mean you wouldn't mind having an open relationship?

What I'm trying to say is I don't judge or think badly of people who do have open relationships, look at porn, use sex toys, etc. Every relationship is different and if that's what works for them then great. I personally would have to be in a very trusting and understanding relationship to start an open relationship. So I don't rule it out, but it would take a while for me to agree to something like that.

Reginaldvonburger
April 29th, 2010, 10:00 AM
I love my relationship with my boyfriend, and he loves it too. Neither of us would trade the other for anything. He even said he loves me more than Star Wars! haha :P

- Revealing clothing / your partner baiting themselves to other men/women
I think that's wrong, but guys don't tend to wear revealing clothing unless they're a Crossdresser or Femme Homosexual. If they're trying to get other men/women, then well, they don't care about you.
- Strip clubs & bars
I don't see the point in these anyway. It's all "Look but don't touch and if you touch you get an infection".
- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes
Me and my boyfriend both have the same views on porn. It would be the same as cheating. We don't see anyone else in a sexual way.
- Defending your partner when needed
Of course. It's only natural. Though, he only needs protection from me hitting him when he licks me or something :P
- Intimacy in general
I love kissing and cuddling my boyfriend, if we're around people then we keep it to a minimum, maybe just a peck or he kisses me on the top of the head, but if we're alone, we act how we want to show our love to one another :)

Cherrim
April 29th, 2010, 10:07 AM
Bored Erica is bored on lunch break. Here we go.
I personally feel that women and men shouldn't expose too much of their body. Why? Because lurking eyes will see exposed skin, and perhaps think obscene things. These comments shouldn't be taken as flattering, but insulting; most people are flattered by it, though, and the partner more often than not thinks they have the "hottest piece of ass" because of it. Mini-skirts, tube-tops, and short-shorts have become appropriate. So has low V-necks. I personally would never wear something like that out of respect - a person's body belongs to themselves, and their partner, and not to the entire world so they can look at it sexually.
Of course lurking eyes will see the exposed skin. Tbh, isn't that kind of the point? It's certainly ridiculous for someone to go out dressed provocatively and then take active offense to being oggled, but I would assume most people who dress that way do it on purpose. They want to be noticed, and they want to know they're attractive. Like you said, it's their body and if they want to flaunt it, that's their right. You may disagree but hey, if they're okay with it and their (hypothetical) partner is okay with it, then there shouldn't be a problem.

Besides, if someone is already in a relationship, there shouldn't be a problem anyway because they shouldn't find anyone else in the world attractive, right? ;( So if a single person dresses that way in order to attract other singles, is that still bad? And if someone dresses "provocatively" for their partner who likes it, is that still bad?
Another thing is strip clubs, bars, "gentleman" clubs, and other similar places. Why would someone in a good relationship want to watch a man or a woman flaunt their stuff for money? Why would someone want to see a 1/2 nude body that wasn't theirs or their partner's? Bars are places to pick up men and women for one-night stands. Even in a group, I don't feel that bars are an appropriate place to "hang out". Surely a restaurant bar would be just as fitting. A similar thing would be pornography. Again, why would you want to look at another person's naked body that wasn't yours or your partner's? Surely your partner's body is enough to satisfy you?
...just how many bars have you been to? :s I'll admit I haven't been to many at all since I'm just not into the scene but... you're making it sound like strip clubs and bars are practically interchangeable. There are many reasons to go to a bar. Maybe to watch a sports game with a like-minded crowd (which ALWAYS makes it better :D), maybe just to do a bit of pub-crawling with a group of friends, or maybe, like you said, to pick up a date. (And just because you meet someone in a bar does NOT mean 100% that you're gonna go out and have sex with them. Yeah, some people do that, but others just wanna buy you a drink and chat with no immediate ulterior motive past getting to know you and maybe hanging out sometime.)

I guess I can't really say anything about strip clubs because I've never been to one but... idk, I think you're just very closed-minded when it comes to sexuality? :( I'm not sure I know many people (if any?) who regularly go to strip clubs for the sole purpose of seeing someone naked when they're already in a relationship. (I'm actually uncertain if I know anyone who hasn't just gone for the ****s and giggles of it, lol.) Even just with pornography--someone may not BE in a relationship... is it still bad to watch it then? Or what if you and your partner both enjoy it (together or not)? Is it horrible then? :s

As for getting paid to strip, hey, if you're comfortable with it and don't mind the job, it pays! Nothing wrong with that (imo).
Checking out other men / women while in a relationship is another thing, too. When you're in a relationship, you should only find your partner attractive truly. Sure, you can say that "so and so is cute" when it's brought to your attention by another person, but it should be done apathetically, and you shouldn't search for people to compliment and/or drool over. I don't get that at all. Most couples permit this, when it's just showing disloyalty.
One cannot help who they are attracted to. I cannot stress this enough. I could be in a committed relationship of 30 years and see a movie with a hot actor/actress and find them attracted and, at the same time, be attracted to them. Does that make me an immoral person? No! If I acted on those attractions without my S.O.'s permission, yes that would be immoral, but just being attracted? You can't help that.

Okay, the movie actor example wasn't great but if I see someone attractive on the street, I'm going to KNOW that they are attractive (assuming they're my "type"). Now, if I'm already in a relationship, according to you, I'd already be in the wrong just for looking and finding someone attractive--something one honestly cannot help. You make it sound like anyone who happens to notice someone attractive [who is not their partner] is disloyal. Whaaaat. No, they're disloyal if they go out of their way to pursue and strike up relations with that person. And I mean any sort of relationship akin to the one they are currently in... so seeing someone attractive and thinking "hey, I'd like to get to know that person" and becoming friends? Ehh, it's pretty damn shallow but I don't see why it would be a problem.

Plus, what if your partner just... isn't that attractive? :( Of course looks should not be an issue when it comes to love or relationships, but chances are, you (general you) probably aren't going to end up with the most attractive person in the world. Not everyone can look at their partner (especially if said partner isn't a "serious" partner yet) and say "wow I will never find someone more attractive than this". Yeah, it's bad taste to be with your partner and to point out attractive people, but really, it's not the end of the world to find someone outside of your relationship attractive.

Again, it's ACTING on those attractions that is the big mistake. Just having them? Human nature.
Defending your partner is another issue. Most men and women don't even defend their partner when they're ridiculed - they laugh along with it, or say nothing, or murmur "don't do that". They don't stand up for their partner at all. They might even still be friends / hang out with the person who humiliates and talks badly about their partner. I don't know how people can see this as reasonable to do.
I can see where you're coming from on this one, and I agree, in a case like that. I wouldn't say it's "most" though... :s Harmless teasing is one thing (and honestly, I would encourage it because no one wants a super srs all the time relationship... or at least I certainly don't), but if it becomes at all hurtful, yes, that's when you need to step in and tell your friends or whoever it is to knock it off. Buuut this isn't even really a "partner" issue. This sort of thing happens all the time, even with just friends. It's kind of a peer pressure issue if anything. u_u
Kinkiness is another thing. If you have one woman or one man, why would you want another person to look at you while you're having an intimate moment? It's a sacred thing, and not something done out of pleasure for you or another's prowling eyes. Threesomes, chairs, toys, etc. - why? Why has this stuff become appropriate, when it's truly disgusting at every angle?
Um, whoa, what? Kinks... are bad? :( Again, that's not really something one can help! If someone's really into BDSM and their partner is too, who are you to judge what they do in the privacy of their own bedroom? It's not like anyone is (necessarily) watching them. It's not like they go out the next day and announce to the world right in front of you what they did. (Voyeurism may be a kink but it's not required of all kinks.)

So long as everyone (...and... everything...) involved is legal and consenting, I really don't see a problem with it. :( I'm not sure this part of the discussion is entirely appropriate for PC but I'm just gonna leave off and say not everyone is totally into plain vanilla sex. (tbh, pornography probably has a part to play in this but I don't think that's related to relationships and it's another topic entirely.)

The Cynic
April 29th, 2010, 10:46 AM
Relationships have not changed whatsoever since Mitochondrial Eve first started tottering about the face of this planet.

All of the things you have mentioned are not disgusting or wrong, they are human. They are ways of expressing our undisclosed desires towards another human being. Saying that pornography is a bad thing is like saying Bach, Seurat, Wilde and The Beatles are all bad things. No matter how cold or phlegmatic human beings may seem there is always something that gives us a warm feeling. You can call it art, you can call it spirit, you can call it soul. But deep down it shows that we can all love, and be loved.

Is intimacy such a bad thing?

Yusshin
April 29th, 2010, 12:18 PM
Thanks for all your input guys.

Lightning, if a bar is accompanied by a restaurant, it's not that bad. I mean places that is just a bar and dancing. My hometown only had that kind of bar, and they were referred to as the places you go to pick up chicks/dudes. Some bars are all right. It's the ones designed specifically to get drunk and make out / dance with everyone that I'm not a fan of.

I also have a different view on what's human nature. You can find another person attractive, but ideas shouldn't sprout up in your mind, and the remark should be apathetic. I believe firmly that humans started off as a monogamous species, and developped later on into what it is now (for the most part) - drama, marriage, divorce, fighting, and cheating. Not all relationships are like this of course, but everyone I know either cheats or got cheated on, including my aunts and my father. An example would be that my aunt's fiance cheated on her with my brother's girlfriend. He had a kid with my aunt, was planning to marry her, and then snuck around with another chick - my brother's girlfriend - behind her back. Again, I don't find this human nature at all. I see it as certain humans wanting taboo "thrills" and attention overall. You shouldn't be thinking about other people during an intimate moment, either.

I don't think I'm close-minded about relationships. I feel I'm old-fashioned, and that I'm probably one of those people who hold sexuality and intimacy as a sacred thing to be shared with one person in a lifetime - or at least, at a time << I find it shouldn't be just for pleasure or bodily attraction either. It should be shared with just someone you feel you love at 100%, personality- and body-wise. Otherwise, it's just animalistic pleasure and I think it's disgusting. I find pornography unacceptable because you're looking at another person naked, and I find that unacceptable and disloyal. It's as if the body of your partner isn't enough. You should find your partner the most attractive person in the world, and be blind to all others unless the topic of "Do you think that person is attractive?" is brought up.

That's how I feel in any case. I don't feel I'm odd, either, for being this way. I've met others like me, but they are few. The majority is into things that I would personally never do / look down on them for. I won't say anything since it's not my business, but I will think of them as lower beings if they happen to do something I find animalistic or unappropriate. Again, I don't say anything to those individuals, though.

Aegis
April 29th, 2010, 12:58 PM
- Revealing clothing / your partner baiting themselves to other men/women
lol baiting? what? some people just like wearing revealing clothing, especially if you live somewhere that gets really hot in parts of the year like I do. If that's what my partner wanted to do I wouldn't really care, just so long as they didn't care if I did it.

- Strip clubs & bars
I see nothing wrong with going to bars, like Lightning said, people go to them for all sorts of reasons, not just sexual ones. They can be pretty fun, especially with friends, and I would find it kind of ridiculous to deny a partner access to them unless they like, had a drinking problem or something.

As for strip clubs, I can understand not wanting a partner to go to them, but for me personally I wouldn't care if they went to one every once in a while, just so long as it was like with friends or something. The few strip clubs I've been to didn't seem overly wild, so it wouldn't bother me that much if they went overall. Can't speak for others though, since I do live in a pretty conservative area haha.

- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes
Ok, no matter what I'd say to them any guy I date is going to check out other guys, even if they don't admit it. I would too, that's just human nature. Trying to control that would be stupid :/ Like Cowrie/Sylphariel(w/e her name is) said to me just now, the policy of "look but don't touch" seems pretty reasonable. As for pornography, I would rather them look at porn then go out and actually sleep with other people, not that looking at porn would bother me anyway.

- Defending your partner when needed
I'd expect defense when defense is needed or warranted, but otherwise I wouldn't expect them to jump to my side every time somebody disagrees with me. Physically... idk, depends on the situation haha.

- Intimacy in general
Well I wouldn't be too pleased if they were intimate with somebody else if that's what you mean. Otherwise I'd be ok with people watching us kiss/cuddle/fondle or whatever, and maybe even open to people watching us do more, but haha I dunno about that.

----------
So yeah, I've already been in a really restricting relationship as well as a really open/shallow one that wasn't even a real relationship. Obviously both didn't work out well, and I think I've learned a good bit from them XD Being in a relationship and observing one are very different things~

Illekn
April 29th, 2010, 08:59 PM
Relationships... not the same as they used to be...

- Revealing clothing / your partner baiting themselves to other men/women
I know lots of people that wear revealing clothing, heck, even I do sometimes. It doesn't necessarily mean we are baiting ourselves to other. It just gets really hot. However, when they do dress in a revealing manner to bait themselves to others, it is kinda stupid. Especially in smaller towns.
- Strip clubs & bars
Really unnecessary, but it really comes down to your morals. Moreso the strip club than the bar.
- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes
These are two different things. Pornography is completely different than checking someone out. I mean, you could look at some, think they are cute, no harm is doe. It is where you go up and try and get intimate with them wherein the problem lies.
- Defending your partner when needed
Yes. I mean, why would you just let people walk all over your SO? I mean, if it gets really bad.. then yeah. If they did it for every little argument, then they would need to defend them self from me.
- Intimacy in general
Well, uh, being intimate with others while in a relationship is bad. As for doing things in general, and in public, it doesn't really matter. I mean.. as long as they don't start like.. eh.. really going at it. Kidding, Cuddling, Hugging, that kind of stuff in public is perfectly fine. You really shouldn't be bothered that much by it. If you are, then just quit looking in the direction.

Guillermo
April 30th, 2010, 04:25 AM
The way I see relationships in everyday life, they've just gotten silly. People enter a relationship for nonsensical reasons. It's in human nature to want to be loved, and that's all people think about. That's why half the relationships don't work in the first place, and hell, if a couple end up making it to marriage, they just usually end up divorcing anyway.

I can imagine that roughly 70-80% of relationships are based on looks alone now, and that's just wrong. They want to have a physical attraction, not an emotional one.

abnegation
April 30th, 2010, 12:35 PM
Rather than taking the specifics questions that you raised, I'm going to take the title of the thread and reply in respect to that. I'm not going to hit on them because they'll come up but under an umbrella term; cheating, within this post.
The aspect of an intimate relationship for me simply means that there is someone in my life that I have an attraction for and someone who I care about a lot to spend more of my time with. At my age and maturity, I think you're better off being short sighted with them rather than expecting to be together for a long time. I say this because commitment is quite a big deal when you're in your teens. You're going to be making a decision that can affect the rest of your life on what may be the lower quartile of your life expectancy. There are so many responsibilities for those my age -assuming you're the average student with aspirations and the likes- so being in a relationship shouldn't be something that will define your life and how you look at things.
I'm not just speaking from personal experience but also from what I've seen around me. People talk about marriage at a young age, whereas I can't judge the legitimacy of love between the couple, as an outsider I think you're never too old to marry. Religious views aside, there isn't a whole lot wrong with staying with someone but not rushing into tying the knot. To be quite honest, i don't know how an average teenage couple who have recently become independent can afford a wedding, or at least the type of wedding they had hoped for. What makes me scratch my head is that a couple in the US who plan on getting married before the age of 21 cannot even enjoy a celebratory glass of champagne legally.
Relationships in the 21st centry haven't changed greatly in my opinion, or at least serious ones haven't. That would mean the definition of "love" is has differentiated from what it once was. But of course the things that may happen in a relationship would have changed due to the implementation of newer technology and the pressure teens have to make love thanks to media sensationalizing the act. I think true love is a little hard done by because of the media, there's a difference between making love and having sexual intercourse. If you love someone or care about them a lot you'll make love, otherwise, it's different in my opinion.
When it comes to cheating, I think anything physical with another person is the most obvious form of cheating but we're all human. People might be somewhat flirtatious, it can be a personality trait and end up flirting with someone but not in spite of their other half. I wouldn't condone it but it does happen. Personally if that happened to me I could get over it but if my significant other was having an affair, I wouldn't accept it so easy.
As far as being attracted to someone else goes, I wouldn't call that cheating at all. You can't help who you're attracted to. If your girlfriend is attracted to a good looking man, it doesn't mean they want to leave you and get with them. So in that regard, it's not something I'm concerned about.
I'd like to reiterate my opinion on marriage at a young age though, I'm all for marriage, but I think it's not something that should be rushed. I'm aware of relationships that have lasted twenty or thirty years before they were tied down under law. At the end of the day, there's not a huge difference when it comes to how you treat each other I may assume, it's a lot more paperwork and commitment and hard-work, it's not something I'd wish to do for a long long time. I'd want to have my priorities straight, my career in line and have my mind set in the right place as well as being financially sound before getting tied down to someone for what I hope to be the rest of my life.
You've just got to be careful and take your time with relationships in general. I'm trying not to generalize as there's plenty of situations and variations of relationships out there. Each to their own but there is a little bit of general morality tied to relationships almost every couple should take heed of.
Relationships can make you feel on top of the world but in contrast, make you feel terrible.

FaithInMe
April 30th, 2010, 02:42 PM
I can imagine that roughly 70-80% of relationships are based on looks alone now, and that's just wrong. They want to have a physical attraction, not an emotional one.

Ive always operated under the notion that you come for the physical and stay for the emotional.
I wouldnt want to be in a relationship that was pure, unconditional love, but with no physical attraction. Nor would I want to be in a relationship that was all physical with no feeling of love to it.

As far as all the other stuff goes. People wear what they want to wear. In my experience it seems highly determined on the weather at the time. The hotter it is, the less may be worn/the colder it is, the more may be worn. Its only logical, dress to the conditions.
I mean, you can still look very attractive being fully clothed so whats the difference.

Bars are great. I usually check a couple out every weekend, I of course have my favourites that I really like going to on a regular basis but the odd change here and there is nothing to worry about.
The ones around here almost all do magnificent counter meals.
Strip clubs are a tough one, I dont mind it. An ex-girlfriend of mine actually took me to one for my bday one year. If neither in a relationship has a problem with them, then it shouldnt cause problems for the relationship, correct?

Pornography and checking out other people. Hmm. Porn isnt everyones cup of tea, but the people that do it, if there partner is against it, limit their usage. Or do it while their partner isnt around. Its not being sneaky, its doing the things you like and avoiding having a fight about it at the same time.
Checking out other people though, obviously you are going to find them attractive.
As far as Im concerned its a base primal instinct to look at someone you find physically attractive.
Anyone who doesnt like it and thinks you should only ever look at the person you're with, in my opinion, is highly insecure with very little self-esteem.
I mean seriously, you're only in a relationship, you arent dead.

Defending your partner is kind of bleh. If they need defending then be there.
If they can handle it themselves, take a backseat.
Its not something that should be a big relationship issue.

Intimacy. Is really up to the couple. By your reasoning Yusshin everytime you have sex should not be just for enjoyment, which leads me to believe that everytime you do it you should be aiming for pregnancy. ( when I say you, I dont mean you personally, I mean generally)
Pregnancy and reproduction is the original purpose for it and reproduction is an animalistic concept being that its for the continuation of a species.
Therefore by my reasoning why should the act be looked down upon for being animalistic, even though in my eyes, in any form it is already.


Im not entirely whether that last part made a lot of sense, if it didnt say so and Ill try and explain myself better.

Yusshin
April 30th, 2010, 02:46 PM
Intimacy. Is really up to the couple. By your reasoning Yusshin everytime you have sex should not be just for enjoyment, which leads me to believe that everytime you do it you should be aiming for pregnancy. ( when I say you, I dont mean you personally, I mean generally)

Oh, no xD I don't mean that. The only time I feel it's right to do it for pleasure is if it's with a long-time girlfriend/boyfriend who you plan to marry at some point. When I say "for the pleasure", I mean one-night-stands, being with a girl/boy you don't even find appealing just for their body, etc. If you do it just for the pleasure, it becomes animalistic to me. Meanwhile, if you do it for pleasure with someone you plan to be with for a lifetime, it's almost divine.

<< I hope that clarifies my view.

1,600th post

KillehKiwi
April 30th, 2010, 03:14 PM
- Revealing clothing
Eh, I say wear what you want, but risk looking like a complete w****. It may be 'attractive' to some guys to have your breasts bulging out of your shirt, and every freaking curve showing, but I know plenty of guys that look at girls like that and say 'She's such a s****.' So, wear what you want, but to a lot of men, you loom ridiculous.

(Listen to 'Boobs Outcha Blouse' by Wanda Sykes. It's amazing. ;D)

- Your partner baiting themselves to other men/women
No. If it's like coming on to them, then absolutely not.

- Strip clubs & bars
No. It's a huge part of society now, and I am revolted by anything like this. I find no appeal, in any way, shape, or form, to watch men (or, if you're a guy, women) prance around with their junk hanging out. Stuff like this is meant for a bedroom, and a bedroom only.

- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes
I really don't want to go into this, but I shall anyway.
This is disgusting. Just, revolting. Watching two (or one, or more, frequently) people(s) engaging in the act of... you get it, is just revolting. I could never sit down at home and watch pornography. Ever. It's a waste of time, and most of the time, money. Thats all I have to say.

Checking out others is going to happen, yes. It's not going to stop, it's just how men work. I believe it's less common for women to do. But the thing is, even if you do check someone else out when you're already taken, it can lead to a more healthy relationship with your current partner. A guy may look at another girl, and then think how lucky he is to have you. Same with girls.

- Defending your partner when needed
Yes. Hands down.

- Intimacy in general
Affection? Yesh; Hugging, kissing (not making out, please save that for when you're alone, people), playing around (like, having fun. Not THAT kind of playing around), and such is fine with me. More intimate such as ....well, I don't want to give examples. But you guys'll get the picture. Sex, strictly for the bedroom. Nowhere else. I find it disgusting to be in public places... or... special places and have it.

But I find sex to be supposed to be saved until marriage. It's a sacred honour, to take someone's body like that. And it's the highest form of respect and love. It really shouldn't be flaunted around like an everyday thing!

Again, these are just my opinions. ;D

FaithInMe
April 30th, 2010, 03:20 PM
Oh, no xD I don't mean that. The only time I feel it's right to do it for pleasure is if it's with a long-time girlfriend/boyfriend who you plan to marry at some point. When I say "for the pleasure", I mean one-night-stands, being with a girl/boy you don't even find appealing just for their body, etc. If you do it just for the pleasure, it becomes animalistic to me. Meanwhile, if you do it for pleasure with someone you plan to be with for a lifetime, it's almost divine.

<< I hope that clarifies my view.

1,600th post


Oh ok then, well that makes more sense to me now.
I guess it doesnt change how I see things, but nevertheless. Im not old fashioned or anything though, so to me sex is really nothing more than a physical attraction thing, whether it be a one-nighter or with someone you plan on being with for a long time.

Gary, the Magic Fairy
April 30th, 2010, 03:28 PM
What are your thoughts on relationships nowadays? How do you see them?I honestly think people are too conservative and make "inappropriate" activities (by their standards) taboo.

I personally feel that women and men shouldn't expose too much of their body. Why? Because lurking eyes will see exposed skin, and perhaps think obscene things. These comments shouldn't be taken as flattering, but insulting; most people are flattered by it, though, and the partner more often than not thinks they have the "hottest piece of ass" because of it. Mini-skirts, tube-tops, and short-shorts have become appropriate. So has low V-necks. I personally would never wear something like that out of respect - a person's body belongs to themselves, and their partner, and not to the entire world so they can look at it sexually.See, I think the opposite. You should wear what you think makes you feel pretty. We're born naked, and we're the only creatures who feel ashamed of our bodies. It's natural. If a girl wants to wear skimpy outfits, then good for her. Like you said, a person's body belongs to themselves, and if they feel like showing it off, then good for them.

Another thing is strip clubs, bars, "gentleman" clubs, and other similar places. Why would someone in a good relationship want to watch a man or a woman flaunt their stuff for money? Why would someone want to see a 1/2 nude body that wasn't theirs or their partner's? Bars are places to pick up men and women for one-night stands. Even in a group, I don't feel that bars are an appropriate place to "hang out". Surely a restaurant bar would be just as fitting. A similar thing would be pornography. Again, why would you want to look at another person's naked body that wasn't yours or your partner's? Surely your partner's body is enough to satisfy you?Sometimes your partner can't satisfy you, and you want to look at some other people. Those people want to show it, you want to see it, there's nothing wrong with that. Sex and love aren't exclusive. Family proves that. If it's okay to love someone without having sexual feelings for them, then the opposite should be true as well. Why would someone want to see the naked body of someone other than their partner? Because it's a natural feeling that all people have and there's no use in trying to suppress it.

Checking out other men / women while in a relationship is another thing, too. When you're in a relationship, you should only find your partner attractive truly. Sure, you can say that "so and so is cute" when it's brought to your attention by another person, but it should be done apathetically, and you shouldn't search for people to compliment and/or drool over. I don't get that at all. Most couples permit this, when it's just showing disloyalty.Same point as I said before. Natural feelings.

Kinkiness is another thing. If you have one woman or one man, why would you want another person to look at you while you're having an intimate moment? It's a sacred thing, and not something done out of pleasure for you or another's prowling eyes. Threesomes, chairs, toys, etc. - why? Why has this stuff become appropriate, when it's truly disgusting at every angle?It isn't a sacred thing for everyone, though. It's a natural, animal instinct. Some people like others to watch, that's their choice. If they want to invite more people in, then good for them. It's no one else's business to judge them.

My father is one of those prowling men who like early-twenties women, pornography, etc. He disgusts me to no end. Really.That's sad that such a petty thing causes such disgust for your father. It's truly sad.

I feel like relationships work better when open and you aren't forced to limit yourselves. If it feels good and doesn't hurt anyone, then there's no harm in it. People should spice things up a little. Some people can eat vanilla ice cream forever, but most people want to try something new every now and then. I think relationships would be better if everyone wasn't so uptight. Luckily that seems to be going away.

Bluerang1
April 30th, 2010, 03:45 PM
That's sad that such a petty thing causes such disgust for your father. It's truly sad.


It's not a petty thing. How would you like you parent to act like that? And not even hide it from you?

That's all I'm saying on this thread, though I agree, PDA should be minimum and the stuff should be one-on-one and for couples, mostly marrieds.

RTHookers
April 30th, 2010, 03:45 PM
No Flaming.

What are your thoughts on relationships nowadays? How do you see them?

From how I see it, drama has become the main thing in a relationship. If there's not enough drama, it's just not "exciting" enough for the majority of people. People seem to be trying to incorperate what they see in reality shows into their real-life relationships, when reality shows are unrealistic in regards to happiness in a couple.

Drama is annoying, sure, this and that, but sometimes one of the sides just takes it too far. I don't like it IMO.

Now, the following isn't because of my religion, or my previous one (Christianity). The following is what I believe is wrong with relationships in society today, and why I feel it's wrong. These are morals and values that I've discovered and I live by, and I'd like to see how other people feel about some of these things.

I personally feel that women and men shouldn't expose too much of their body. Why? Because lurking eyes will see exposed skin, and perhaps think obscene things. These comments shouldn't be taken as flattering, but insulting; most people are flattered by it, though, and the partner more often than not thinks they have the "hottest piece of ass" because of it. Mini-skirts, tube-tops, and short-shorts have become appropriate. So has low V-necks. I personally would never wear something like that out of respect - a person's body belongs to themselves, and their partner, and not to the entire world so they can look at it sexually.

Somebody said to you how to dress? No? Good. No reason to complain. I've said to you this and I'll say it another time. Don't give a ****.

Another thing is strip clubs, bars, "gentleman" clubs, and other similar places. Why would someone in a good relationship want to watch a man or a woman flaunt their stuff for money? Why would someone want to see a 1/2 nude body that wasn't theirs or their partner's? Bars are places to pick up men and women for one-night stands. Even in a group, I don't feel that bars are an appropriate place to "hang out". Surely a restaurant bar would be just as fitting. A similar thing would be pornography. Again, why would you want to look at another person's naked body that wasn't yours or your partner's? Surely your partner's body is enough to satisfy you?

Who the hell watches porn when he/she has a boy/girl friend >.>
In Israel at least, be some time together and you'll "do" "porn" yourself.

Checking out other men / women while in a relationship is another thing, too. When you're in a relationship, you should only find your partner attractive truly. Sure, you can say that "so and so is cute" when it's brought to your attention by another person, but it should be done apathetically, and you shouldn't search for people to compliment and/or drool over. I don't get that at all. Most couples permit this, when it's just showing disloyalty.

"Hey, Eliran, who's sexier, me or Megan Fox?"
"(Oh crap..) You, of course honey"
"LIAR!"
-Dummy situation.
That's a trap. Of course saying her is better is the ideal thing, but all girls know that if you give Megan to a guy.. oh well.

Defending your partner is another issue. Most men and women don't even defend their partner when they're ridiculed - they laugh along with it, or say nothing, or murmur "don't do that". They don't stand up for their partner at all. They might even still be friends / hang out with the person who humiliates and talks badly about their partner. I don't know how people can see this as reasonable to do.

Both are idiots getting into a relationship in the first place.

Kinkiness is another thing. If you have one woman or one man, why would you want another person to look at you while you're having an intimate moment? It's a sacred thing, and not something done out of pleasure for you or another's prowling eyes. Threesomes, chairs, toys, etc. - why? Why has this stuff become appropriate, when it's truly disgusting at every angle?

I dunno what to say about this, didn't get it much.

My father is one of those prowling men who like early-twenties women, pornography, etc. He disgusts me to no end. Really.

Nobody will say it for you but MOST men (I'll include teenagers, boys, o'course) WILL, eventually take a peek at some good looking girls on the internet. And most boy teenagers won't say it but they watch porn regulary, even myself. And I do masturbate, I'd rather spit **** up at the toilet other than having it come to me sometime inappropriate. (And I dunno why but I think because the lack of sexual pleasure rape scenes occour)

How do you guys feel about the following (I've expressed my views; now, share yours, if desired):

- Revealing clothing / your partner baiting themselves to other men/women
Lolwutclothes. Attracted to other women (men) is pretty naturally. Dunno about women.
- Strip clubs & bars
I'm a quiet guy. AKA I don't like crazy dance parties and stuff. Here and there with my friends is OK but eh.. I like staying home and listening to music I like. Most of the time.
- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes
The hell wondering eyes means?
Porn: Men has to get a way to release sexual stress. Otherwise, let's see how happily you will act when your boyfriend gets a horny boost from his brain for not masturbating for some period of time.
- Defending your partner when needed
Sure.
- Intimacy in general
Since I do know what that word is but I do not know what it really means I can't answer.

Try to be broad on that last part. Obviously details would get this thread closed :|
Answers in Bold.
Umm, nice topic anyway. (I wish I could have used my lovely steam-forums way of passing a char limit. Like 25Bolds)

Yusshin
April 30th, 2010, 03:46 PM
That's sad that such a petty thing causes such disgust for your father. It's truly sad.

My father's 40. He likes 18-22-year-olds, whistles at them from the car, and has poster girls, pornographic magazines, and porno sites bookmarked on his browser. He tells me often enough to bring home college friends, too, for "sleep overs."

I would hope you would be disgusted with your father if the same thing happened to you lol o_o

FaithInMe
April 30th, 2010, 06:57 PM
Actually, Im in agreeance, that is a petty thing to cause such disgust. I
f my father was a single man and he did that I would applaud him.
We would actually have much more in common.
Id be thrilled honestly.
Maybe Im twisted, I dont really mind, its whatever to me.
Id be alright with it nonetheless, far far far from disgusted.

T3h Kaiser
May 1st, 2010, 04:26 AM
This thread is too long and I am too tired to suffer through it all, but...

No Flaming.

No fun. =/

What are your thoughts on relationships nowadays? How do you see them?

I think by and large, most people pursue relationships simply to have someone. They need that companionship to give them a sense of worth... or perhaps to simply satisfy a primal, instinctive urge to have a mate, for reproductive means.

But this is okay! The more partners you have, the more social practice you have. Imagine someone growing up without having a single friend, only to be forced into a friendship at age... thirty. Would they know how to communicate with this friend? Would they know what sort of activities they should do together? How would they be able to handle it? Truth is, they probably couldn't. Not at first anyway.

Relationships are trial and error, so for all the hateful things I said about the jocks in high school who would date the closest thing with breasts only to leave them a few weeks later, they probably have alot more intimate-relationship sense than I do now. Although in my defense none of them were ever very good listeners, which also helps.


From how I see it, drama has become the main thing in a relationship. If there's not enough drama, it's just not "exciting" enough for the majority of people. People seem to be trying to incorperate what they see in reality shows into their real-life relationships, when reality shows are unrealistic in regards to happiness in a couple.

I can't speak for adult relationships, but in the case of teenagers and young adults, yes, there is an unhealthy amount of TEH DRAMAZ. I don't want to offend any teens or whatever - I'm not stereotyping here, only speaking from experience - but the reason for this is simply due to a lack of life experience. As I said before, relationships are trial and error. Teens instinctively, no matter how hard you try and fight it and be "mature", focus only on the "now." Due to a lack of life experience, they tend to have a hard time looking ahead and suffer from a narrow world view. Because of this, they'd rather rush a relationship and force dramatic events in order to speed things up. It has to be a constant up and down, high and low because they have never experienced a lull in social growth. Once you reach adulthood, things calm down... for most of us, anyway.


How do you guys feel about the following (I've expressed my views; now, share yours, if desired):

- Revealing clothing / your partner baiting themselves to other men/women
- Strip clubs & bars
- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes
- Defending your partner when needed
- Intimacy in general

Try to be broad on that last part. Obviously details would get this thread closed :|


Revealing clothing, eh. It's a tough subject. I think to a certain extent it's fine, people need to keep in mind that sex should be sacred. Leaving things to the imagination is a powerful thing, and if your cleavage and midriff is always showing the sex appeal kind of gets... dull. But then again, I'm the kind of person who vastly prefers FFIX's Dagger over FFXIII's Fang.

Strip clubs and whatnot, bleh. To say nothing of the morality of the issue, I think it is a business and to make it illegal would be wrong. I am also in favor of legalizing prostitution, simply due to how much employment would increase because of it. It would also cut down on the cost of fining and jailing prostitutes; police action costs money, you know. As for the morality of it all, I think as long as it is done in a safe and controlled environment and everyone is a willing participant, I can't really knock it. We're talking about instincts, here; sexual urges. If they can let out those feelings without getting people hurt then that's fine with me.

Pornography may tend to get a bit disgusting on occasion, but again I feel that it serves a purpose. Like strip clubs, it deals with urges and instincts. I think as long as you're in a relationship you shouldn't need it and frankly I would be uncomfortable and perhaps even offended if my significant other were to watch porn. But for those who are single, pornography in moderation is fine. After all, masturbating regularly is healthy.

Wandering eyes are only natural, but if it happens often enough there may be a deeper problem. I think in this case it's every person's right to confront their partner on the issue, but only if it happens enough, otherwise you might become paranoid.

Defending your partner should go without saying, but unfortunately for alot of people that isn't the case. If I love someone, I'll defend them on any issue regardless of what it might be. That's just how the emotion works. If you can't do that much, it's not real love. But admitting that is difficult to do.

Intimacy can be a beautiful thing, yeah. But I also think it's sacred, for the most part. Innocent stuff like kissing and hand holding, sure, I'm not Amish; that stuff is fine. But you start juking and you can go home. There is a certain romantic feeling to have in spontaneous over-the-topic intimacy, though; in those rare cases, I guess it is sort of hard to be prudish.

It isn't a sacred thing for everyone, though. It's a natural, animal instinct.

Something can be sacred as well as instictive; the two aren't mutually exclusive. Whenever you're really hungry, but you wait for awhile and build it up and when you finally eat it's twice as special? Yeah, same concept.

Gary, the Magic Fairy
May 1st, 2010, 12:38 PM
My father's 40. He likes 18-22-year-olds, whistles at them from the car, and has poster girls, pornographic magazines, and porno sites bookmarked on his browser. He tells me often enough to bring home college friends, too, for "sleep overs."

I would hope you would be disgusted with your father if the same thing happened to you lol o_oWhy would you hope that? My dad has porno magazines, and has porno sites bookmarked in his browser. It doesn't affect me at all, and I sure as hell am not disgusted by him. Who am I to judge?

Something can be sacred as well as instictive; the two aren't mutually exclusive. Whenever you're really hungry, but you wait for awhile and build it up and when you finally eat it's twice as special? Yeah, same concept.That's what I was saying. It may be sacred for some, but for others it isn't.

piece of something
May 1st, 2010, 01:04 PM
having 0 relationship experience my post should be taken with a kilogram of salt :P

- Revealing clothing / your partner baiting themselves to other men/women
i'm a really simple dude, reckon people should be able to wear whatever they want regardless of being in a relationship or not...if partners do it with the intention of baiting themselves to other men/women then they shouldn't be in the relationship...problem here is with the relationship not the clothing...

- Strip clubs & bars
i'm a very uncomplicated dude...don't understand why people can't retain their freedom and be in relationships at the same time? i reckon people should be allowed to go wherever they want regardless of being in a relationship or not...if people want to get away from a relationship and look in places like these, then again the problem is with the relationship, but if they just going for pure entertainment, why not? =D

- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes
i'm a very easy going kinda fellow, pornorgraphy watching in a relationship just another form of entertainment and nothing more - if it is, then something isn't going right in the relationship. its natural to be attracted to members of the opposite sex...nothing wrong with wandering eyes...in a good relationship both partners would be totally reassured and trusting of their partner, right? :P if not, something is definitely lacking in that relationship...

- Defending your partner when needed
i like to think of myself as a logical guy, reckon people should defend what they believe is right, and if their partner says or does something that they don't think is right then they shouldn't have to defend their partners...some ppl don't have the bollocks to defend what they oughtto, but tbh i don't see how this particular point should have anything to do with relationships...

- Intimacy in general
i'm an easy going lad, i don't really have a problem seeing people out having fun together :P