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Guillermo
April 30th, 2010, 04:36 AM
There's more than likely a thread like this *somewhere* but I'm really, really lazy tonight and cannot for the life of me be bothered looking, so if there is, then sue me! :]

Anyway, do you believe it's healthy to have a friendship, no strings attached, with people of the opposite gender? I've seen a lot of people think this false but I truly enjoy having female friends around me, personally. Give your reasons as to why and why not and if you don't, you will be shot. In the face. Multiple times.

And I'm going to throw in this question too; which gender do you feel more comfortable around?

Cherrim
April 30th, 2010, 04:39 AM
...there are people who think it's unhealthy to share a friendship with the opposite gender?

That thought has never, ever crossed my mind. I've always had friends of either gender (and arguably more friends of the opposite gender). Why would it even make a difference? :|

Forever
April 30th, 2010, 04:42 AM
Hmmmm. A lot of my friends online are male, yet overall my closer friends are usually female, so, I think people are closer with their own gender? idk. :(

Horizon
April 30th, 2010, 04:43 AM
Forgive me, but I fail to see how or why people could think it was unhealthy to have friends of the opposite gener? Forgive my ignorance.

But yes, I have always had friends of the opposite gener, it's just a social thing that happens naturally in my opinion.

Guillermo
April 30th, 2010, 04:44 AM
...there are people who think it's unhealthy to share a friendship with the opposite gender?

That thought has never, ever crossed my mind. I've always had friends of either gender (and arguably more friends of the opposite gender). Why would it even make a difference? :|
Considering I know people, yes.

Forgive me, but I fail to see how or why people could think it was unhealthy to have friends of the opposite gener? Forgive my ignorance.

But yes, I have always had friends of the opposite gener, it's just a social thing that happens naturally in my opinion.
As above.

Horizon
April 30th, 2010, 04:46 AM
I'm sure you do, it's just an alien concept to me that people believe such a thing, and would be curious as to why. I'm not bashing them, for it is their belief.

Guillermo
April 30th, 2010, 04:47 AM
I'm sure you do, it's just an alien concept to me that people believe such a thing, and would be curious as to why. I'm not bashing them, for it is their belief.
I don't know either, but there's a few examples of such. Distraction from work, too scared to talk to them, had heart broken previously, whatever.

Cherrim
April 30th, 2010, 04:55 AM
Yeah, it's a ridiculous concept to me as well. I just... don't... understand. I can sort of see those reasons but that's really an issue with the individual, not a generalized "it is bad to be friends with someone of the opposite gender". :( I don't see how someone could justify generalizing male/female friendship based on conclusions of their own shortcomings with the opposite gender.

Yusshin
April 30th, 2010, 05:02 AM
Mm.. I don't believe in having close friends of the opposite gender. Your best friend of that gender should be the person you're with, and that should be enough really. You can have the occasional friend you chitchat with, but not online, and not all flirty on the phone. Your partner should be enough of that gender to suffice you. Co-workers of the opposite gender are obviously a different thing altogether; you can't avoid that, and it's best to be friends with your co-workers, but not too chummy.

It just equals a smoother relationship in the end. No jealousy, no suspicion, etc. And it's not like there aren't any girls (assuming you're female) with similar interests or anything, so you still have a wide variety of same-gender friends to choose from.

Gold warehouse
April 30th, 2010, 05:07 AM
It just equals a smoother relationship in the end. No jealousy, no suspicion, etc.

I believe that if both partners love and trust each other then there'd be no reason for jealousy/suspicion anyway. If there's doubt just because your partner is friends with someone of the opposite gender then tbh it doesn't sound like a great relationship in the first place.

I see no problem with it.

Yusshin
April 30th, 2010, 05:10 AM
I believe that if both partners love and trust each other then there'd be no jealousy/suspicion anyway. If there's doubt just because your partner is friends with someone of the opposite gender then tbh it doesn't sound like a great relationship in the first place.

I see no problem with it.

Mm... Maybe you trust your partner, but you don't trust the opposite gender.

After all, men are sleazeballs generally. Even if you're as trustworthy as can be, male friends tend to joke sexually and might cop a feel without your wanting. Women are just as guilty as trying to be flirtatious and promiscuous as well, regardless how loyal and trustworthy you are.

So it's not the relationship that's faulty; moreso the suspicion of these "friends" and their intentions. I don't trust the majority of men because most men have proven to be just after a piece of ass. Women I see the same as men, too. I trust my fiance at 100%, but I don't trust the women of society, so we generally just avoid it altogether.

It makes me feel fuzzy when he tells flirtatious girls at work that "I don't want your phone number; I already have someone".

<3

Gold warehouse
April 30th, 2010, 05:16 AM
Mm... Maybe you trust your partner, but you don't trust the opposite gender.
As long as you trust that your partner would remain faithful then there's nothing to worry about. Even if their opposite gender friend wants to take things further, they should say no.
Although, if you trust them and they betray that trust... Then you're better off without them.

After all, men are sleazeballs generally. Even if you're as trustworthy as can be, male friends tend to joke sexually and might cop a feel without your wanting. Women are just as guilty as trying to be flirtatious and promiscuous as well, regardless how loyal and trustworthy you are.
So it's not the relationship that's faulty; moreso the suspicion of these "friends" and their intentions. I don't trust the majority of men because most men have proven to be just after a piece of ass. Women I see the same as men, too. I trust my fiance at 100%, but I don't trust the women of society, so we generally just avoid it altogether.So much gender stereotyping.
Again, even if people are doing these sort of things to your partner (even though it's usually not to be taken seriously), if your partner really doesn't want it then s/he'd ask them to stop or whatever. Just because people are acting flirtatious it doesn't mean they're going to snatch your partner away against their will.

It makes me feel fuzzy when he tells flirtatious girls at work that "I don't want your phone number; I already have someone".

<3So what's the problem? He's declined them, they can be flirtatious as much as they want; it doesn't really matter, does it?

Yusshin
April 30th, 2010, 05:20 AM
As long as you trust that your partner would remain faithful then there's nothing to worry about. Even if their opposite gender friend wants to take things further, they should say no.
Again, if you trust them and they betray that trust... Then you're better off without them.

I don't worry lol As said, I trust him at 100%, but I don't trust the opposite gender. At all. Neither does he.

So we just avoid it altogether. It's no big deal. I have lots of female friends I can talk with who are just as quality of friends as male friends would be. There's absolutely no need for friends of the opposite gender specifically, especially if it risks causing suspicion (of the other person's, not your partner's, intentions) or jealousy for whatever reason.

Anyway, that's what my partner and I agreed on, and I don't see the big deal. I just shrug my shoulders really. There have been times when I'd have liked to add a male friend from PC to MSN, but it's no big deal that I can't. I don't absolutely need a masculine friend. My fiance is my best friend of that gender, and I'm his best friend, so that's all we need in the end.

Gold warehouse
April 30th, 2010, 05:25 AM
I don't worry lol As said, I trust him at 100%, but I don't trust the opposite gender. At all. Neither does he.

So we just avoid it altogether. It's no big deal. I have lots of female friends I can talk with who are just as quality of friends as male friends would be. There's absolutely no need for friends of the opposite gender specifically, especially if it risks causing suspicion (of the other person's, not your partner's, intentions) or jealousy for whatever reason.
But even if your partner does make friends with a female who has intentions to take things further, as long as you trust him it shouldn't really matter about what her intentions are. People don't seek out friends of any particular gender, people seek out friendship with other people. There's no need to segregrate people based on their gender and avoid making friendships with people of the opposite gender just because they may have intentions of splitting you up.

Whatever works for you I guess, if you're both happy with doing things this way then there's no problem for you two. I just don't see how it could be seen as something to avoid.

Yusshin
April 30th, 2010, 05:30 AM
But even if your partner does make friends with a female who has intentions to take things further, as long as you trust him it shouldn't really matter about what her intentions are. People don't seek out friends of any particular gender, people seek out friendship with other people. There's no need to segregrate people based on their gender and avoid making friendships people of the opposite gender just because they may have intentions of splitting you up.

Whatever works for you I guess, if you're both happy with doing things this way then there's no problem for you two. I just don't see how it could be seen as something to avoid.

Those intentions of that person could become bothersome, regardless your partner's good will and constant rejecting.

Whatever floats your boat, really xD It works fine with my relationship; I'm sure it works with others, too, who have that same "restriction". I just like to avoid any issues that may arise for whatever reason. Sometimes you hafta sacrifice things in a relationship. I don't mind sacrificing something so minor.

Cherrim
April 30th, 2010, 05:37 AM
Mm.. I don't believe in having close friends of the opposite gender. Your best friend of that gender should be the person you're with, and that should be enough really. You can have the occasional friend you chitchat with, but not online, and not all flirty on the phone. Your partner should be enough of that gender to suffice you. Co-workers of the opposite gender are obviously a different thing altogether; you can't avoid that, and it's best to be friends with your co-workers, but not too chummy.

It just equals a smoother relationship in the end. No jealousy, no suspicion, etc. And it's not like there aren't any girls (assuming you're female) with similar interests or anything, so you still have a wide variety of same-gender friends to choose from.
I disagree immensely. You're basing all of it on the concept that everyone will one day go out and find one person they intend to spend the rest of their life with--one person of the opposite gender. Throw different sexualities, whether or not someone is in a relationship, and all that jazz into the mix and I just don't see how your point stands at all.

Honestly, I think if anyone is with someone who gets suspicious or jealous when they see their boyfriend/girlfriend with someone of the same sex, they need to get out of that relationship because that is unhealthy. If there is unconditional trust in the relationship (as there well should be), there's no reason to suspect anything when someone sees their friends.

And really, that spreads into trusting your partner to have good taste in friends. Would you really not trust your partner to only hang out with women who, like you, are level-headed and not "promiscuous"? :\ You're making it sound like literally every other female in the world will be trying to seduce him if they so much as catch him alone. Sorry, but the world doesn't work that way. It is very possible to be good friends with someone and not be physically/sexually attracted to them in the least.

My best friend is male. I've had female best friends in the past (before I met him) but in retrospect I was never as close. We can talk about anything and we share a lot of the same interests. And you know what? I've never been attracted to him "that way" and vice versa. But the way you're speaking... if I ever got a boyfriend, I'd pretty much have to never speak to my friend again because said boyfriend should be all I ever need. :\ That just sounds depressingly lonely.

The only reason I can see to have your "best friend" be the same sex (not just gender) is so that you have almost everything in common. As in, so you really can talk about everything because really, a guy just won't understand when you want to whine about PMS or something but a girl will. But aside from sex-specific things like that? I see no reason aside from insecurity in a relationship to forbid oneself or others from being in a same-sex/gender friendship.

Gender roles suck and society needs to break out of them anyway. When choosing your friends, you should choose them based on compatibility and whether or not you like them. And those criteria transcend sex and gender. I really see no reason to dismiss an entire sex as potential friends just because of the organs they have.

Meowth! That's right!
April 30th, 2010, 05:47 AM
I believe that while you have a partner you shouldn't be hanging out one on one or having deep regular conversations with people of the opposite sex because that's disloyal regardless of your intentions. I'd rather any boyfriend of mine not have any female friends at all as recently a ****ty girl from my school befriended both me and my boyfriend only to steal him from me once he dumped me.

As for having a best friend of the opposite sex, that's just stupid because if you have so much in common then why aren't you together? One of you is gonna be attracted to each other eventually, and that would wreck the friendship. Plus it might be a bit off-putting to potential partners if you have a friend of the opposite sex hanging around you all the time.

The gender I feel most comfortable around? Probably gay guys, as I get slightly nervous around attractive boys, and a lot of straight guys nervous around me. I can't relate to most other girls at all, nor do I trust them.

Yusshin
April 30th, 2010, 05:49 AM
It has nothing to do with their organs. It has to do with past experience. All of the men I've met, besides my fiance, have been total douchebags and just after sex all of the time. My entire family cheats on one another constantly, and all of my old friends from school share that same attitude. From personal experience on my side, the majority of women aren't looking for a male friend to play video games with. They're looking for a compatible figure, regardless the other person's relationship status.

Meanwhile, my fiance's experience with other males and females alike have been 95% negative. He has few friends he would deem friend-worthy, since the rest are morons and interchange partners like no tomorrow.

From our experience, women and men alike are primarily just after sex when they befriend someone of the opposite gender. The wrong idea might even rub off without you knowing, and that's not good.

As said, it works for my relationship just dandy. Why not avoid trouble before trouble starts? I realize that there are women and men who aren't like the 95% we've met in life so far, or have shared experiences with in friendship. Unfortunately, the 5% don't come along too often. I have one or two female friends in real life, and that's better than 20 idiot friends really. Same with him. I'm friends with his male friends, and he's friends with my female friends. We're friends with all of our co-workers, regardless gender as well.

Just do whatever works for you, really. This works for us, and it's not a restriction. We feel it's how a relationship should work and we have barely any issues at all. My fiance and I are alike in almost every aspect, including food, games, morals, and values. I'm happy that I found someone who's so alike to me :< We've been together for nearly three years now with just a few misunderstandings here and there. We tried the "anyone can be a friend" idea at the beginning of our relationship for about a year, and it didn't work too well, because of the intentions of the other person. This sprouted jealousy and anger towards the "friend" and pretty much an argument with either me or him, too, depending on whose friend it is. It didn't work for us because of the intentions of others, and we've just decided it's best to avoid all of that altogether and befriend only the same gender, co-workers of any gender, and friends of each other of any gender.

It works for us. If it doesn't work for you, then so be it, but we have our reasons for rejecting other-gender friends, and those reasons are legit.

Throat
April 30th, 2010, 05:50 AM
I'm not the kind that will ever marry and live the whole life beside a single woman (actually, few people do so, I just don't even desire it).
If I'm just going to talk to a person, it doesn't matter wheter they are man or woman and due to what I stated above, no one will ever keep me from doing anything I want. If I am dating, the person won't have the right to claim anything from me, but surely I'd try to please her.

Moltres111
April 30th, 2010, 06:09 AM
I like being friends with girls. However, some of my friends are actually so effing stupid that they think i'm going to ask out any girl I talk to. They piss me off.

I have a really good female friend now though, and we always talk to each other as much as we can. We've been talking to each other a lot since February. :3

Elite Overlord LeSabre™
April 30th, 2010, 08:25 AM
I have really good friends of both genders, and I don't see a problem with it. With my female friends, so far it's stayed exactly as that - as friends, and that's perfectly fine with me.

helix
April 30th, 2010, 08:32 AM
I enjoy being friends with and am very comfortable with conversing with either gender. As off-whack as it sounds, I don't really distinguish people by gender so much these days- there are so many more traits a person has got going for them beyond that.
tl;dr I don't have to be in a romantic relationship with every member of the opposite sex I'm close to! D:

Patchisou Yutohru
April 30th, 2010, 08:34 AM
Hmmmm. A lot of my friends online are male, yet overall my closer friends are usually female, so, I think people are closer with their own gender? idk. :(
The majority of my friends (all together; offline and off) are female, but I'm closer with my male friends than I am my female friends, but that'd debatable and rather bias. I'm judging closeness by best friend "status" since I've had quite a few best friends in the past. The majority of my best friends have been male. I've had about seven best friends, only two of them have been female.

Does that make any sense?

Porygon-Z
April 30th, 2010, 08:36 AM
There's more than likely a thread like this *somewhere* but I'm really, really lazy tonight and cannot for the life of me be bothered looking, so if there is, then sue me! :]

Anyway, do you believe it's healthy to have a friendship, no strings attached, with people of the opposite gender? I've seen a lot of people think this false but I truly enjoy having female friends around me, personally. Give your reasons as to why and why not and if you don't, you will be shot. In the face. Multiple times.

And I'm going to throw in this question too; which gender do you feel more comfortable around?

I don't see why anyone should have difficulties having friendships with people of either gender.

People aren't attracted to every guy/girl they meet, so unless you are attracted to every guy/girl in the world then you should be able to have a normal friendship.

Sylphiel
April 30th, 2010, 09:10 AM
Well, why not? :) Admittedly, the line of thought that "opposite gender friend = bad" just boggles me. If I have things in common with somebody, I'm not going to refuse friendship because "you're not the same gender as me, too bad".

I tend to have a lot of guy friends myself, but I think that's mostly because I feel more in common personality-wise with guys than with girls. Shrug.

(And this is talking as someone with a partner. Both him and I have friends of the opposite gender; and since we both know that it's just friends the other is talking to, there are no problems at all.)

Magik?!
April 30th, 2010, 09:45 AM
I have a complete mix of friends from very girly girls to boy-ish boys, but I tend to lean on my guy friends more for advice and stuff, despite being a girl myself. The last school I went to was an all girls school and I ended up having no guy friends after three years there because I just didn't know how to interact with them and stuff, yet within three weeks of my current mixed school, I was best friends with a guy. I think it would be awkward maybe if I started going out with any of my close guy friends, but none of us think of each other in that way, we're just friends and that's perfect for me.

I think it's very helpful because there's times when they come to me for things that they don't want to go to other guys for because the guys would tease them for being girly or something (I dunno. They're weird.).

I think having a mix of friends is the best thing, because most people have different friends for different purposes, so it's whatever their comfortable with :)

Zebeedoo
April 30th, 2010, 10:18 AM
I've only got like one or two male friends irl and a lot of female friends. Online, however, I have more male friends than female friends it seems. ;o; Though I am closer with a few of the females. I prefer to be around females because around guys it just feels awkward. xD;

Binary
April 30th, 2010, 11:12 AM
I'd never heard of something like making friends of the opposite gender being unhealthy. I have a few female friends and they're really close too. I prefer hanging out with my male friends but I also try to keep in touch with my female friends. I think that it's good to have friends of both genders. Friendship cannot be discriminated by gender.

hiphiphippo
April 30th, 2010, 12:16 PM
i don't have a problem with having male friends.. (i'm female!)
my best friend online is male (loxius, -cough-)
we've known eachother for over a year and half and it's been perfectly nonawkward.. LOL

also, i think it's useful to have him around to talk about relationship stuff to see a guy's point of view

IRL, i have guys who i talk to a lot, but arent really close friends, which works for me.
but sometimes i find that i can be myself around guys more often rather than around certain girls, which i dont really understand..
anyway, i have more female friends

also, i tend to have the "rivalry" feeling with females more often. jus sayin'

Melody
April 30th, 2010, 01:32 PM
Honestly, if there isn't trust in a relationship, it's never gonna work out. With that being said, there's nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex. I have several female friends who I really enjoy being with, and my pair Kimi doesn't mind at all. n.n

That being said, my pair tends to obsess about HITT, and he's a guy, and she's spoken to him online several times. You don't see me getting jealous about that, I totally trust her anyways even though she fangirls about HITT all the time when we're talking. (personally I think it's cute to see her fangirling like that but that's me) xD

FaithInMe
April 30th, 2010, 01:52 PM
To be completely honest I find the concept stupid.
Im a guy. Probably 90% of my close friends are female. Including my best friend, a friendship going on about 16 years now, we talk pretty much everyday, whether it be a phone call, text, msn or video call.
On the other side of the coin, I live with one of my best guy friends, and I still have alot of guy friends that I see fairly regularly to hang out with (beer + sports ftw!)
I dont feel more comfortable with one gender than the other. Its all the same for me because I exude self confidence. Some of my closest friends are people Ive randomly walked up to and started talking to while out at a pub or something similar.

I personally dont have alot of online friendships, I find it somewhat empty. Especially when theres a very miniscule chance you'll ever meet them. It seems ridiculous to me to have a friend that you've never even met but whatever.

Yusshin
April 30th, 2010, 01:53 PM
I personally dont have alot of online friendships, I find it somewhat empty. Especially when theres a very miniscule chance you'll ever meet them. It seems ridiculous to me to have a friend that you've never even met but whatever.

You remind me of those people who would always tell me that online friends "aren't real".

90% of real-life friends aren't real friends after all lol what's the difference. Of sixty real-life friends, what? Two or three might be actual friends who'll support you and back you up. The rest are just "there."

Zameric
April 30th, 2010, 01:58 PM
Well, I have no qualms about someone having friends of the opposite gender. But I do think it's healthier to have friends of both genders rather than just one gender.

I myself have several female friends, though I have more female friends online than I do offline. Now that's either because I'm not as good at interacting with girls in person as I am online, or just because I seem to spend most of my time online now because I do online schooling and live in the boondocks. xD

Melody
April 30th, 2010, 02:02 PM
You remind me of those people who would always tell me that online friends "aren't real".

90% of real-life friends aren't real friends after all lol what's the difference. Of sixty real-life friends, what? Two or three might be actual friends who'll support you and back you up. The rest are just "there."

It's sad that you've lost trust in a lot of people Yusshin. I was in the same boat for a while, and I'm just now getting over it. Honestly, you shouldn't close yourself off. While I do agree that true friends will indeed respect what you believe in, understand that not everyone will believe the same things you do.

FaithInMe
April 30th, 2010, 02:05 PM
You remind me of those people who would always tell me that online friends "aren't real".

90% of real-life friends aren't real friends after all lol what's the difference. Of sixty real-life friends, what? Two or three might be actual friends who'll support you and back you up. The rest are just "there."


Online friends by very definition CANT be there to "back you up". They ARE "just there".
Therefore by logical reasoning, arent actual friends.

I have a VERY large friend base.
And Im very fussy about who I choose as friends.
Which leads me to make my point that, probably 95% of my friends, are actual friends, that support me, and back me up. Whether they think Im wrong or not.
To give you numbers, I talk to probably 200 people a day, that Im friends with (rough estimate), of that 200 I would consider 190 of them as actual friends.

Yusshin
April 30th, 2010, 02:06 PM
It's sad that you've lost trust in a lot of people Yusshin. I was in the same boat for a while, and I'm just now getting over it. Honestly, you shouldn't close yourself off. While I do agree that true friends will indeed respect what you believe in, understand that not everyone will believe the same things you do.

Oh, no, that's not just me XD A lot of people know this. There aren't really a lot of "true friends" anymore. They're rare.

What I'm saying is, online friends can be just as true as real-life friends. There are morons online and there are morons in real-life, and there are really nice people online and really nice people in real life, too. The majority of your "friends" though are fake when it comes to tough situations.

S'all I'm saying. There's not really a difference if you can't see an online friend. I have great online friends and I see them as real, regardless the inability to physically see them. I don't see what makes online friends not real :< Online friends can support your decisions and whatnaught. Some r/l friends don't even do that.

EmeraldSerenade
April 30th, 2010, 02:10 PM
Friendships with the opposite gender are quite fine with me. I have an even amount of friends in both genders, but talking to females can be fun ^^.

Which gender do you feel more comfortable around?
I feel more comfortable around my female friends. They're kind and well, it just feels more stable around them. When I'm around girls it feels so.. calm.
It makes the other boys envy me xD

Limey-chan
April 30th, 2010, 02:30 PM
My friends are pretty evenly split between boys and girls, and I feel equally comfortable with either gender really.

Why is having friends that are exclusively girls/boys unhealthy?? =/

Gary, the Magic Fairy
April 30th, 2010, 02:33 PM
I have friends of both genders. I'm not a sexist, like some people. I'm friends with people for who they are, not something as trivial as what gender they are. Not being friends with someone just because they're a girl is ridiculous. :\

SonicThrust
April 30th, 2010, 03:08 PM
I have more female friends than male friends and have since high school, perhaps earlier. And despite what's been mentioned previously, I've been good friends with these girls for about 5 or 6 years now and have no desire to be in a sexual relationship with them. I see absolutely nothing wrong with being friends with the opposite gender. There are somethings I talk about more with my male friends (most of which are mainly online), but the same thing goes for my female friends.

Oh I am male btw @_@ that probably bears mentioning.

Aegis
April 30th, 2010, 03:29 PM
I don't see why a guy and a girl couldn't be best friends. Not everybody is going to be attracted to each other, if you operate under that assumption you're going to miss out on a lot of potential good friends throughout your life. Some of my best friends are girls (I'm male), and there's never been any awkwardness or stuff like that because of our genders. Although I think they're all pretty, I'm not attracted to any of them sexually, and since I'm gay I won't ever be. Just because we're close doesn't mean we're going to "fall" for each other, this isn't a Lifetime drama :| If I ever got a boyfriend that forbid me from keeping my female friends I'd most likely dump him, it's outrageous haha.

Even if you're trying to say that it's impossible/unhealty/whatever to be friends or good friends with the sex you're attracted to (in my case guys), that's also a ridiculous idea. I have many good friends that are male, in fact, some of my best friends are gay males as well, and there's no awkwardness or uneasiness because of it.

Overall I just think it's kind of ridiculous to say that people of the opposite sex can't be friends. Just because you've had bad experiences with it doesn't mean everyone is like that :|

RuRuBell
April 30th, 2010, 03:58 PM
I've only got like one or two male friends irl and a lot of female friends. Online, however, I have more male friends than female friends it seems. ;o; Though I am closer with a few of the females. I prefer to be around females because around guys it just feels awkward. xD;

This is pretty much my situation, too. I treat my male friends like I do my female friends though, so it's not really awkward or anything. I think it's a good idea to have a mix of both.

hiphiphippo
April 30th, 2010, 04:44 PM
I personally dont have alot of online friendships, I find it somewhat empty. Especially when theres a very miniscule chance you'll ever meet them. It seems ridiculous to me to have a friend that you've never even met but whatever.

i think having online friends is a good thing, especially when you spend a lot of time on the computer and your RL friends arent actively online. this way, you can have people to talk to whenever :D

and an online friend can be there for you. not physically, but emotionally. meaning supporting you and advising you

sorry for being off topic? D:

Ayselipera
April 30th, 2010, 08:50 PM
Online I seem to talk to more males, but in real life I have close friends of each gender equally. I think it's perfectly healthy and fine to have friends of the opposite gender. I'm a very nondramatic girl who has very dramatic girl friends so it's really nice to have a guy friend to hang out with when I feel like not listening to people over act about everything.

Saltare.
May 1st, 2010, 05:59 AM
Just some of my friends...
Blade
Alex
Zack
Austin
Travis
Deondre
Tanner
Jesse
Brin
Michal
Krissie
Jon
Caleb
Ethan

I cannot stand being friends with girls...AT ALL. Too much drama...

T3h Kaiser
May 1st, 2010, 06:11 AM
Blade


Someone named their son "Blade"? >_>

Or is he the only Internet person you've chosen to list?

Throat
May 1st, 2010, 07:06 AM
Someone named their son "Blade"? >_>

Or is he the only Internet person you've chosen to list?
His parents must be fan of:

http://www.imotion.com.br/imagens/data/media/26/2325blade.jpg

PokéSprites
May 1st, 2010, 07:31 AM
I do because they can be fun sometimes they might go in a mood but still there fun to hang around with.

Pass!on
May 1st, 2010, 11:37 AM
I have way more girl friends, and I'm closer to them, but I'm still pretty close to a few guy friends. Overall I think I'm more comfortable making friends with girls, but hanging out with guys tends to be really fun.

Narcissus Secret
May 1st, 2010, 06:02 PM
I have more female friends, but mu guy friends are closer. I can do more with my girl friends without things turning all awkward though.

Saltare.
May 2nd, 2010, 04:36 AM
Someone named their son "Blade"? >_>

Or is he the only Internet person you've chosen to list?

Yeah, his parents named him Blade. I don't know why...but they did.

He is not an 'internet' person -_-

KillehKiwi
May 2nd, 2010, 06:12 AM
....Woow, the thought of having opposite-gender friends is a bad thing never even crossed my mind!

I love hanging out with guys, as well as my best girl friends! I have a tomboy-ish side to me, and almost all of my female friends won't play football, or see horror movies with me. I happen to love sports, and movies to freak me out, so if i can't find a female friend to go with me, why not a guy?

I may have more in common with others of my same gender, and I do like hanging out with them a bit more than with my good guy friends, but they aren't always what I need. I absolutely hate drama, and most girls I know love to start it.

And the same with guy friends, a lot of them are really immature, so I need my girl friends for more mature, less perverted time. ;D

It's alll about balance! ;D

Kenpari
May 2nd, 2010, 06:22 AM
I personally believe that having just a friendship with people of the opposite gender isn't right, unless you're already in a relationship with somebody and they introduce you to their friends and you become friends or whatever, but this doesn't happen extremely often, I believe. I'm not sure why I think so, but I believe that in older ages friendships with other genders are to develop into relationships, and that's what I stick by.

That being said I prefer to hang out with other people of my own gender(that's male, by the way) than those of the opposite gender.

InMooseWeTrust
May 2nd, 2010, 09:43 AM
The overwhelming majority of my friends are female, and it has never been a problem. I generally act exactly the same way in front of other people, regardless of gender, whether I'm with them alone or in a group. I have self-control, and I know all my friends do too. Otherwise, they wouldn't really be my friends because I could never trust them. Occasionally some dirty jokes get thrown around here and there, but that's just life. No harm in it.

Mm... Maybe you trust your partner, but you don't trust the opposite gender.

After all, men are sleazeballs generally. Even if you're as trustworthy as can be, male friends tend to joke sexually and might cop a feel without your wanting. Women are just as guilty as trying to be flirtatious and promiscuous as well, regardless how loyal and trustworthy you are.

So it's not the relationship that's faulty; moreso the suspicion of these "friends" and their intentions. I don't trust the majority of men because most men have proven to be just after a piece of ass. Women I see the same as men, too. I trust my fiance at 100%, but I don't trust the women of society, so we generally just avoid it altogether.

It makes me feel fuzzy when he tells flirtatious girls at work that "I don't want your phone number; I already have someone".

<3

I see, so I'm a sleazeball and most of my friends are flirtacious and promiscuous. Either that or you're just a hypocrite. You think others are so shallow-minded when it's clear that you're the shallowest of them all.

It has nothing to do with their organs. It has to do with past experience. All of the men I've met, besides my fiance, have been total douchebags and just after sex all of the time. My entire family cheats on one another constantly, and all of my old friends from school share that same attitude.

I see, so when I asked you to help me with spoken French and in return I would help you in various academic subjects, you rejected me simply because I have a penis and by your logic, I'm only after your body. I see how it is.

If your family has issues with sex, then they have issues with sex. It's not just because they're men and women who are attracted to each other. THEY HAVE PROBLEMS.

From personal experience on my side, the majority of women aren't looking for a male friend to play video games with. They're looking for a compatible figure, regardless the other person's relationship status.
I actually get both kinds of requests all the time (either gender, but mostly female, because most social networks are female-dominated), so I can tell you that they are. I'm surprised you would say the first line when PokéCommunity is so chalk full of people who are making video gaming friends regardless of gender.

From our experience, women and men alike are primarily just after sex when they befriend someone of the opposite gender. The wrong idea might even rub off without you knowing, and that's not good.
While it's true that people can get the wrong idea, you are simply wrong on your reasoning. They're NOT primarily after sex. I keep in touch with people all over the world both online and off, and the kind you think makes up the overwhelming majority is only an extreme minority that spends too much time in chat rooms.

People aren't attracted to every guy/girl they meet, so unless you are attracted to every guy/girl in the world then you should be able to have a normal friendship.
Are you suggesting that people should befriend people who they're not attracted to? That actually sounds somewhat reasonable, but I'm not sure if it's necessary.

I have a complete mix of friends from very girly girls to boy-ish boys, but I tend to lean on my guy friends more for advice and stuff, despite being a girl myself. The last school I went to was an all girls school and I ended up having no guy friends after three years there because I just didn't know how to interact with them and stuff, yet within three weeks of my current mixed school, I was best friends with a guy. I think it would be awkward maybe if I started going out with any of my close guy friends, but none of us think of each other in that way, we're just friends and that's perfect for me.

I think it's very helpful because there's times when they come to me for things that they don't want to go to other guys for because the guys would tease them for being girly or something (I dunno. They're weird.).

I think having a mix of friends is the best thing, because most people have different friends for different purposes, so it's whatever their comfortable with :)

I can totally relate. I go to girls for advice on different things all the time. You only get to live as one, so it's always a good thing to get the other perspective.

I myself have several female friends, though I have more female friends online than I do offline. Now that's either because I'm not as good at interacting with girls in person as I am online, or just because I seem to spend most of my time online now because I do online schooling and live in the boondocks. xD

I know what you mean. Before I was active on the internet, I never really talked to any girls except for a few daughters of family friends, and members of the extended family. Even then, I was weirded out by the whole experience. The internet helped me get over all that, and because I talk to so many different kinds of people, even in real life I can handle almost any social situation.

Why is having friends that are exclusively girls/boys unhealthy?? =/
It's only unhealthy if you think it is. Think about it as a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you raise a little boy to believe that he can't control himself around girls, and if he gets involved with anybody female he'll have sex with her, then you're conditioning him from an early age into believing that he will have sex with any girl he associates with. That's just wrong, but unfortunately, this is how a large number of people around the world are raised.

I think I know what you're trying to say, but there are two types of people in the world, and everyone should know how to interact with each other in various situations.

Honest
May 2nd, 2010, 10:01 AM
I don't see why it would be bad for you. I have a lot of male friends, but a decent amount of female friends as well. I mean, most of them know were only friends, and nothing more. As long as the girls aren't bad or anything (you know what I mean), and vise versa for males, I think its perfectly fine.

Amaruuk
May 2nd, 2010, 04:55 PM
I've always gotten along better with guys in general, and almost all my IRL friends are male. The first half of my life or so, all the girls shunned me, and though I never made 'friends' with any of them, most of the boys were at least kind. I also grew up having two little brothers, so male companionship is just more natural, I guess :3

I also tend to be a lot more in touch with my masculine side in general (not in terms of sexuality), and don't really relate to typical female things, so aside from having shared personal interests, I don't really have much to relate to with other women. Guys tend to judge less and care less about superficial or extraneous things (and seem to enjoy the company of a woman of a similar mindset).

Curiously enough, on the internet almost all my friends are female X3

Anxiety.
May 2nd, 2010, 08:36 PM
Pretty much everything this girl has said, I can't be bothered to list them all off, so forgive me ^^ - Anxiety.

...Y-You're joking right? Aha... ahahaha!

So, every girl is attracted to your man and every boy is attracted to you?
What about bisexual and gay men, can they hang around with your man? Can bi girls and lesbians hang around with you?
Oh oh oh, and what about transgendered people? How do you deal with those? Is it just the phsycal parts that matter?!

Oh god. I can't stop laughing at these points. I don't care if they're your opinions, they're hilarious. Someone stop me, please.

If your relationship is that unstable, get out of it. If you can't hang around with guys, then... balls. So what if they try to seduce you? If you love him so damn much, turn around and say 'Sorry, I'm taken', and you should trust him to do the same. Also, don't phrase it as 'I'm not allowed to' because your relationship sounds somewhat abusive to me.

tl;dr - lol, that's it, to be honest. Just lol.

--------------------------------

And as a reply to the question? Nah, hang out with who you want. It's the personally that matters, not if they have a penis or a vagina, or both!
I would be able to survive without my friends, a nice mix of boys and girls.

I'm only attracted to one of them... which is a very long story I don't want to tell. And the others, boys and girls, I'm fine with, I don't find it weird, I'm bisexual and as I said, I've only ever been attracted to one of them.

tl;dr - I'm comfortable with both genders equally.

EDIT: Oh my. I do apologise for this wall of text. I've added some tl;dr.

kissing. raindrops
May 2nd, 2010, 10:25 PM
Yeah, I think it's healthy for a girl to have a best friend who's a guy (and vice versa). Although with me personally, almost all the guys I've been best friends with soon turned into a relationship. XD I know lots of people who have different gendered best friends though, so it's possible even though I haven't really experienced that myself lol.

My best friend is a girl, she's awesome! I like hanging out with girls more than guys, just cause it's more comfortable for me that way, don't know why, just is. :)

The Kidd
May 2nd, 2010, 11:29 PM
Yeah, I think it's healthy for a girl to have a best friend who's a guy (and vice versa)

That's generally how it works. I have many, many girl friends. I can just simply talk to them a lot better than I can with guys. Just because I talk to a lot of girls it doesn't mean that I am attracted to all of them.

I disagree with everything that Yusshin has said to the dot! I have girl friends, that are friends, some that are close friends, and 2 that are best friends. If I had a girlfriend and she has many guy friends, I cannot tell her to stop speaking to them when she knew them first because I know if she'd asked me I would say no. Why? Simple. Friends are forever, girlfriends/ boyfriends .....well if it's meant to be, super awesome! If not...well they can suck on it!

Anyways, I only have 2 guy friends. One of them happens to be deaf XD That doesn't stop him from being his crazy self. Of course, I had to learn a little sign language, but its much easier to write or text.

I also, usually go to the girls for advice or my deaf friend, but either way I know I can count on all of them to be there for me.

Idiot!
May 3rd, 2010, 06:33 AM
It's great to have a variety of friends. It's much more fun that way.

TRIFORCE89
May 4th, 2010, 03:50 AM
I don't know either, but there's a few examples of such. Distraction from work, too scared to talk to them, had heart broken previously, whatever.
I don't understand any of those reasons.

They're distracted from work because....? Are they just staring at them? O_o
Why would they be too scared to talk to them if they are their friends?
If they're just friends with no strings attached, what does having your heart being broken previously by someone else have to do with anything?

I'm a guy and I have lots of female friends.

The only thing I could possibly think of as an issue is if you're married. Your significant other may not be fond of the idea of you hanging out with so many of the opposite sex, or something. idk. But that's....a per couple situation I think.

Porygon-Z
May 4th, 2010, 04:47 AM
Are you suggesting that people should befriend people who they're not attracted to? That actually sounds somewhat reasonable, but I'm not sure if it's necessary.


No what I'm saying is you won't necessarily be attracted to every woman/man in the world and the chances are that you wont be atracted to each and every single one of your friends of the opposite sex.

I'll put it this way. I'm gay, but I'm not attracted to any of my friends that are guys.

When we became friends my criteria was not:"hmm they don't seem sexy, so it's okay to be friends with them"

it was: "we have a lot in common, and this person is fun to hang out with."

All I'm saying is that the law of averages should mean that you won't be attracted to every woman you know and are friends with even if you are attracted to some of them, unless you're super duper horny.

That being said I have been friends with other Gay men who I have found attractive, but that didn't mean I felt awkward around him or obliged to make a move on him or anything. I can be attracted to someone without losing control of myself or doing things that aren't right for me and my friends.

The only reason you'd ever have a problem would be if the only thing you were looking for in others was hook up.

WonderGirl
May 5th, 2010, 01:20 PM
I used to be friends with guys a lot (no wonder I'm a tomboy now) but the guys in my school are impossible to me. I hate them. I can be really sexist but it's not my fault if they're so hateable.

But one annoying thing is that even when I'm with one of my boy cousins of my age, someone always says we're gf-bf. That's is VERY annoying so now I'm a bit less friends with guys than I used to be.