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View Full Version : Er... haven't really got a name, but it's a song/poem...


Kylie-chan
November 6th, 2004, 12:39 AM
Excuse me for being the worst poet in existence, but here goes...

(And no, I've never been heartbroken. Luckily. Cos no boy would even want me in the first place to break my heart... *sniffle*
Pikachu: Shut up, stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Depression Pikachu: You shut up. It hurts my feelings. Waaahhh! I need a hug!)

All I know is I'm drowing
In the tsunami of tears
All I feel is the ice
As I fall into the realm of fears

I'm shattered I'm splattered I'm broken in three
I'm crying I'm dying I'm screaming to you to, tearing out my hair
My tears run wild, I'm alone in the darkness
But it's not like I'd expected you to care

Oh yeah I'm terrified and lonely,
I'm trapped, because I let you in
You sucked me dry like chocolate
Then threw me like a wrapper in the bin
I didn't mean anything to you
I was just a toy for you
To play with but when it's broken
It's replaced - my love at least was true
Maybe you didn't care - but I did

The rubbish truck overflows
With all your discarded trash
Everything you tired of
Everything you smashed

I was just a crash test dummy
I had no feelings, at least that's what you thought
It's not like I'd be hurt
When you threw me away, when in your equasion I was nought

Oh yeah I'm terrified and lonely,
I'm trapped, because I let you in
You sucked me dry like chocolate
Then threw me like a wrapper in the bin
I didn't mean anything to you
I was just a toy for you
To play with but when it's broken
It's replaced - my love at least was true
Maybe you didn't care - but I did

Well, why should I feel pain consuming me
What did I deserve to do this?
I blame it on you, it's not fair that you can hypnotise
With the gentle brush of a kiss

So what? You're gonna get sick of her
But I'll never let you back in
Cause I don't care... I don't care
Still, it excruciates me within


BRIDGE:
So when you throw her away
Don't expect her to stay
It doesn't matter anyway
It doesn't matter anyway
Why should I feel pain biting inside
You're just a sleaze who doesn't care
You didn't listen, your love wasn't there
So when you want to recycle
It'll be too late
Too late
Too late
It doesn't matter anyway

Monzae
November 6th, 2004, 01:11 AM
O_O

*sees you making headlights one day*

That....was....amazing! I wish I could write songs like that! But mine are all about the same topic: Depression xD Great job! PLEASE keep writing more!

Kylie-chan
November 6th, 2004, 03:25 PM
Wow thank you.

Everyone tells me I'm gonna be famous. I personally expected having to post my PLAN B (failure reception):

*dies* why did I post that?

PHEW.

smithy.boy
November 6th, 2004, 03:49 PM
wow thats some amazing lines, welldone
i giv u 4 smilie heads
:):):)
hey were did the other one go...........................
:) <-- tried to escape

Kylie-chan
November 6th, 2004, 03:54 PM
lol thanks for all the support

Kelsey
November 6th, 2004, 04:54 PM
Ooooooooh, I really like this one, DP. I think the flow is pretty good, and I like how you used some original cliches in your song. Good job! =D 9/10

~Kelsey

Gardy
November 6th, 2004, 05:07 PM
OMG this is SO NICE and VERY VERY GOOD! I just love it! It really touches me bcuz something lik that happened to me. *rates 5* *tears come down*

Kylie-chan
November 6th, 2004, 05:38 PM
Original cliches?

here here don't cry *gives Amanda a tissue* Thanks so much

Kelsey
November 6th, 2004, 05:46 PM
Yeah, cliche, like.........uuuummmm...oh, here's a bad example XD : "White as Snow" it's just an overused expression. ^_^ But, like I had said, I really do adore your song, very descriptive. ^0~

~Kelsey

Kylie-chan
November 6th, 2004, 07:13 PM
then how can they be original? that's an oxymoron

Geometric-sama
November 7th, 2004, 03:44 PM
*hugs the depressed Pikachu*

Anyway, that's good, the only lines that don't fit are

You sucked me dry like chocolate
Then threw me like a wrapper in the bin

Because that's specific, kind of, and everything else is... general.... well, you know what I mean... right?

Kylie-chan
November 7th, 2004, 09:07 PM
*the depressed Pikachu is now the hyper Pikachu*

ok that's SPAM... O.o

thanks for giving me the rep points guys I gained one rep pip in a day

darkblastoise89
November 11th, 2004, 05:25 AM
i can't believe i missed this thread >< nice job D_P, i'll look forward to whatever you write next. [puts on D_P fanboi shirt]
-matt ^_~

Kylie-chan
November 12th, 2004, 12:29 AM
aw thanks *pops matt in friends list*

I'm quite un-depressed thanks to your poetry oh and my birthday... pretty tough if I were to be depressed on my BIRTHDAY...