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Disrupter
September 17th, 2010, 08:17 PM
http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/1543/crystaltrollcopy.png


This is my Let's Play of Pokemon Crystal. I'll try to update weekly or as much as I can, I'm busy with school and personal stuff. If you want make a suggestion for my team post it on the comments and I will consider it.

The Shenanigans of Kris!
http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/3949/pokemoncrystaloak.png
Gay butt smex with Mr.Pokemon is no excuse for being late, good sir.

http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/7417/pokemoncrystal2.png

Oak, you fudging pedo. I'm a girl problem brosky?

http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/2026/pokemoncrystal3.png

I also woke up your mother in my own way. ZING!

http://img816.imageshack.us/img816/8137/pokemoncrystal5.png

Best mum evar. LIEK OMGAWD I HAS TO GO TO ELM!

http://img213.imageshack.us/img213/7282/ginger.png

LIEK NO WAI! TEH GINGERZZ KICKED ME IN MY VAG I Z BE BLEEDING!

http://img842.imageshack.us/img842/3531/mmmlettuce.png

New team member. GET YO HANDS OFF MAI LETTUCE

http://img684.imageshack.us/img684/1844/pokemoncrystaluc.png

Last picture has no purpose at all, want me to improve? Post suggestions below.

Disrupter out.




Current Team:

http://archives.bulbagarden.net/media/upload/3/3c/Spr_2c_152.gif
-MaiLettuce




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http://img185.imageshack.us/img185/5605/33mqy6bcopy.png

Yuoaman
September 18th, 2010, 04:15 AM
Suggestions:


Try to use less "L33T Speak", it distracts from the "humor".
More images. Seriously, this is far too few images to be considered and LP, screenshot LPs traditionally show everything you are able to screenshot, not just one whenever you feel like it.
Work on your humor, definitely. "Gay butt smex with Mr.Pokemon is no excuse for being late, good sir." is not funny, and you haven't developed Oak as that sort of character yet, so it feels very incongruous.
Reader participation. This is one of the things that separates LPs from walkthroughs with jokes, and the fact that you chose your starter and named them without any of that is a little odd.

Hybrid Trainer
September 18th, 2010, 12:22 PM
yuoaman you left out one of the best parts of your own lets play.
Always have a recurring joke that begins from the start. and with crystal you have SO many, the mom that takes your money and spends it, the stupid professor that doesn't know what an egg it, the weird ginger rival with the weird hair style.