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사랑해
July 23rd, 2011, 10:11 AM
Has it gone too far? I know a girl who's been cutting because people call her fat. She's 5'6" and 150 pounds. NOT fat by my standards.

Share your stories of eating disorders, attempted suicide, etc, or just your opinion on the epidemic if you will, on being skinny.

QuilavaKing
July 23rd, 2011, 10:35 AM
Well, I'm 6 foot, and 130, so I think she's fine. :)

I do exercise a lot, and eat a healthy diet, to be sure I don't gain weight as I get older. I've actually gained 15 pounds in the last year though, but that was because I started working out. I don't have any eating disorders btw. This is just my natural body weight.

I do get a lot of people who don't believe me, or make fun of me for being really skinny though (or, at least I used to... last summer I was 6' and 115, so I'm not that bad anymore. lol)

Honestly, I've never really paid attention to anyone else's weight. So, I don't really have any other experience on the matter.

deoxys121
July 23rd, 2011, 10:40 AM
OK, I have a few points to make here. First of all, I'm a relatively skinny guy, but I actually find moderately overweight girls more attractive than super-skinny ones. My current girlfriend, who I love dearly, is overweight and my reassurance has given her something to fall back on when she gets insulted for her weight. I love her the way she is and I would never tell her to go on a diet. Anyone who insults or puts down someone for being overweight is, at the risk of being rude, arrogant and ignorant. I say ignorant because they don't realize the fact that different people have different body structures and different metabolisms. My mother has also been moderately overweight her whole life, but the way she looks at it, I think more people should look at being overweight the way she does. If anyone insults her about her weight, she simply lets it go in one ear and out the other. She is still living a relatively healthy lifestyle, so neither her nor I are concerned about her weight. I personally don't think anyone should be forced into dieting or getting weight loss surgery unless they have direct reason to believe they would die otherwise. I also think other people need to mind their own business about other people who they don't even know being overweight.

-ty-
July 23rd, 2011, 10:55 AM
Agreed Deoxys.

Overweight people are much much much more healthy than underweight people.
However, people who are neither over or underweight are prone to the least amount of health issues. Now obese people...I think that they should consider losing weight via surgery or lifestyle change because that extra weight may lead to Diabetes, Heart Attack, and several other serious complications. Same with underweight people; heart abnormalities and organ failure may develop without adequate diet. Overweight people should try to lose weight or maintain weight so that they don't become obese, and thusly, prone to more health issues.

Quilava is considered underweight, only by a few pounds. But as you explained, you are naturally that weight. Most likely your weight is not the result of malnutrition and therefore you shouldn't have to worry too much about heart abnormalities. What life would be like if I had a fast metabolism like you!!!

Myles
July 23rd, 2011, 11:07 AM
Whether someone self-harms or contracts an eating disorder usually has little relation to their actual weight. Especially self-harm. If people are calling her fat they need a reality check. She is in the correct weight range and considering that most people are overweight, she's doing pretty well.

Well, I'm 6 foot, and 130, so I think she's fine. :)

I do exercise a lot, and eat a healthy diet, to be sure I don't gain weight as I get older. I've actually gained 15 pounds in the last year though, but that was because I started working out. I don't have any eating disorders btw. This is just my natural body weight.

I do get a lot of people who don't believe me, or make fun of me for being really skinny though (or, at least I used to... last summer I was 6' and 115, so I'm not that bad anymore. lol)

Honestly, I've never really paid attention to anyone else's weight. So, I don't really have any other experience on the matter.

Although BMI has flaws, you are actually still underweight based on it. Lucky you're not still 115, that's just scary in someone that's 6' (and considered severely underweight by BMI).

Edit:

I forgot to mention. If she's self-harming, then if she isn't already she needs to get immediate psychiatric help. Self-harm is an incredibly addictive behaviour that needs to be treated asap for best results. It also won't go away by itself; even if the triggering torment does. If she's worried about drugs, you can get just behavioural treatment and no drugs.

Jak
July 23rd, 2011, 11:11 AM
There's still pressure to be skinny after all these years? I guess I've never understood that, because all my life I've been underweight without trying. I'm not telling my size or anything cause you'd all force me to eat, but still. It is appalling there's still this "you're fat" thing going on, especially for the girl that the OP mentioned. Makes me sad, really. And I agree with the poster above on obesity. If you're obese, that is something that should be worked on. That's an obvious health concern, but hey, so is extreme underweight. idk. I guess it's hard to speak on this because I've never had this concern, plus I tend to look past someone's size when talking to them or being friends and whatnot. It's never been a huge concern to me. /unhelpful post that means nothing :(

Eldena
July 23rd, 2011, 11:17 AM
I actually find moderately overweight girls more attractive than super-skinny ones

This, really. I don't like skinny girls that much. I will never understand all the prejudice against overweight people and I have also disliked myself in the past because of it.

Someone cutting him/herself cause of mockery shows lack of strength of character, though.

Myles
July 23rd, 2011, 11:23 AM
Someone cutting him/herself cause of mockery shows lack of strength of character, though.

It most certainly is not. Self-harm (http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses_and_conditions/self-harm) is a legitimate mental illness usually caused by low self esteem, self loathing, genetics or another mental illness and is in no way the fault of the victim.

Oryx
July 23rd, 2011, 12:02 PM
I've always been jealous of the people that are skinny without trying, that's how my best friend is. She eats everything and is still underweight. Meanwhile every day I'm doing jumping jacks (because it's too hot to exercise outside, lol) trying to lose weight. My family has always been overweight, but it's something I need to keep an eye on. I have diabetes on both sides of my family already, my grandfather on my mom's side and my dad both had it. Right now I'm within 10 pounds of "average weight" by the flawed BMI scale, I eat fairly healthy and exercise nearly every day. I mean I don't hate myself for it, but I definitely do feel the pressure to lose enough weight that my stomach is flat so I can feel comfortable with myself without having to pick outfits to "hide the fat" or whatever.

Xyrin
July 23rd, 2011, 12:55 PM
Well she's not fat! It's pitiful people get called fat even when they aren't. Even when they are it's horrible.

I actually have no pressure on me. I have no problem being underweight. I can actually eat tons of fattening food along with twinkies and suck and STILL be really underweight. I'm 12, around 5 ft and weigh 70 pounds. I get fun of for being TOO skinny. Sometimes people tell me I have tapeworms. o_O

QuilavaKing
July 23rd, 2011, 12:57 PM
Although BMI has flaws, you are actually still underweight based on it. Lucky you're not still 115, that's just scary in someone that's 6' (and considered severely underweight by BMI).
Well, the only reason I gained those 15 pounds, was because I started working out, so really, there's no difference.

Gold warehouse
July 23rd, 2011, 01:05 PM
I notice most of the posters so far are male; I think this issue is more prevalent with females. I rarely see guys get hassle for their weight, or anything about their appearance really. Unless they look terrible they can get away with pretty much anything, whilst girls are expected to be 7+/10.

G.U.Y.
July 23rd, 2011, 01:30 PM
Yes, it has gone way too far.

Normal weights are now viewed as fat by modern western society, at least in the U.S. But you can't help but think.."They're fat!" at least to our standards.

Guys are just as fed up with their weight as girls are. Guys are just less public about it and go to more extreme measures to hide it.

I'm fat. I'm fat because I like food and don't like exercise. I don't like being fat..and I am willing to change and am trying to (successfully I may add.) But I want to do it because I want to be healthy. Not to look good, I could care less about looking good, I'm basically homoromatic-asexual so sex isn't a factor for me really. :/ I just want to live as long as possible.

And my brother said something funny when we were talking to our parents about genetic disease in our family, this was, "Looks like I'm not living to be 80!" which is sadly probably true for both of us. :P Diabetes, tons of cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure (which my brother and I have both had since we were 10 - despite being skinny then), and more.

Being fat doesn't help that.

Wow, huge tangent.

Lilith
July 23rd, 2011, 01:34 PM
I'm very thin without trying. I don't have an eating disorder. I don't obsess over my weight. I just don't eat a lot. I do wish I weighed something closer to 150 pounds. Your friend is not fat. She's beautiful.

Bluerang1
July 23rd, 2011, 01:47 PM
I don't see anything wrong in wanting/being told to lose weight especially if you're clinically overweight. I got rid of my baby fat and haven't been chubby since, I'm skinny as they say xD People call me that too much... I try to gain weight for muscle but no, or it get converted to muscle. But I have small man boobs that won't go away >__>

Oryx
July 23rd, 2011, 01:55 PM
I don't see anything wrong in wanting/being told to lose weight especially if you're clinically overweight.

Why the "especially"? If they're not overweight, there can still be nothing wrong with telling someone to lose weight?

사랑해
July 23rd, 2011, 02:18 PM
I agree with Vendak. It's a much more major issue with girls.

It makes me glad to know there's still some kind people in the world. I know people that are absolutely out of control with the whole "be skinny or dai nao" thing.

Freedom Fighter N
July 23rd, 2011, 02:23 PM
There's pressure. So what?
It's better than having people sit there and munch Pringles and say crap like "people will accept me like that" or some other excuse to be lazy.

It fits well within the "being pretty" category that girls so happily obey.

I try to gain weight for muscle but no, or it get converted to muscle. But I have small man boobs that won't go away >__>
Fat does not convert into muscle. Fat goes away = muscles show up. If you're so interested in getting bigger, then look for Starting Strength and build yourself a menu.

daigonite
July 23rd, 2011, 02:25 PM
I think people both put too much focus on anorexia and also put too much pressure on people to be thin and beautiful, as paradoxical as it sounds.

I definitely feel that there is a pressure around me to be not necessarily "thin" but to be "beautiful", which I am certainly not - for example I'm 99% sure I got the boot at my last job because I was less attractive than the other person working there, even though I worked harder than her and I fixed her constant mistakes in my shift. However, I'm on the other end of the scale - skinny and small, while a lot of girls are, well... thick. So getting thinner is a constant obsession with society even today.

But I also think that anorexia is overpressured to the point of being menial. Trying to shove the disorder down people's throats constantly, telling them how horrible it is, makes it meaningless after a while, this in turn makes it less likely that people who are trying to thin themselves out be healthy over thin...

Anyways I'm quite thin but I'm not really "super underweight" (probably at most 5 lbs). The problem with BMI is that it doesn't take into account people like me who are built very very lightweight and are naturally skinny, and thus people like me are labeled as anorexic even though I get +2500 calories a day.

Azure
July 23rd, 2011, 03:07 PM
It's become a bigger issue over the years of course.

Aorio
July 23rd, 2011, 03:12 PM
It's terrible what the media has done to people.
Women on the covers of magazines always look so thin and so perfect, when really, they don't even look like that themselves. I remember a plus-size model doing a shoot for a cover of a magazine, she was absolutely gorgeous and probably size 12 or so (definitely NOT plus-sized, by the way, more like average-sized) and she loved her body and accepted herself as she was. Well anyways. the magazine came out and she looked like she was a size 2. People started complaining. The photographer retaliated, saying, "That's just standard editing for photos, nothing drastic." When I read that, my mouth just fell open. They completely changed the way this woman looked, making her airbrushed and several dress sizes smaller than she was, and called it the norm, just the usual editing. And to think, that's what people today chase after, that idea of a perfect body when there is no such thing?

I remember, throughout 7th and 8th grade, I was constantly going on low-carb diets.. my dad was even supporting it, he's a huge fan of the low-carb fad. I'm also vegetarian, so veg + low carb = basically being able to eat lettuce.
One day, I decided, you know what, this is SO not worth it. I love my life in every other area, so why can't I just love me and my body too? I was chasing happiness, thinking I would be so much happier and more confident if I was just thin, but that's NOT where happiness comes from.
So, instead of extreme dieting, I just made small lifestyle changes to be healthier (cut out soda and other sugary drinks, made an effort to put more fruit and veggies into my life, etc.) and NOT to be skinnier, and then I'd look in the mirror every morning and compliment myself on something that I loved about my appearance. I'd kind of pump myself up for the day, which brought up my self-confidence and made me truly happy with myself, despite not being a twig. I don't believe what's on the magazine cover anymore.
It's just terrible when I realize how long it took me to realize that I am beautiful no matter what. I went on my first diet in 2nd grade. And to think of the millions of people out there who are trying so desperately hard to be thin when they're perfectly fine and healthy just the way they are.

Oryx
July 23rd, 2011, 03:26 PM
It's become a bigger issue over the years of course.

Honestly, I'm not sure if I agree with this. In the past, there was little to no compassion for people that wanted to be thin, and people that weren't. Now, although we're still a long way from truly accepting peoples' bodies, we at least have plus-sized models, and at least there are campaigns pushing people to accept themselves. In the past we had this:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_h8swaZWFcE8/R2Uw5zG3omI/AAAAAAAAAJc/aizJ1px5PMQ/s400/cathie%2Bjung.jpg

At least now we have this:

http://plusmodelmagazine.com/Images/Tears/2006/septears8.jpg

Melody
July 23rd, 2011, 03:39 PM
I'm agreeing with OP. The whole weight thing has gone way too far.

I've had MDs, LVNs, RNs and more all tell me the whole BMI chart was inaccurate. Not to mention the fact that I can lose about 50lbs in a week or so...just by working at the family business. (A paper warehouse fyi; all sorts of paper products and more to lug around. And it's usually just me and the Warehouse manager. It isn't easy work though...but I walk around the warehouse all day anyway running errands so heh. XD)

I won't say what I weigh, that isn't important. I will say however that according to BMI that even at my most optimum, natural weight...which is also not listed...I had to find the formula to calculate it with, I'm STILL overweight. Frankly, I find that very hard to believe due to my family having a history of densely built folk who all had roughly the same "default weight" as I did. My height is never on any serious BMI chart. I'm close to 6'0 tall, if not exactly that.

The "default weight" being a weight number your body tends to drift to under NORMAL eating and work circumstances. Normal being a reasonably healthy diet and level of exercise activity, not excluding the potential exercise value of your current profession or day to day activities.
Also I find that BMI can't forecast your health either. BMI is only one small variable, of the many variables that total up to define your "risk factors"



But I digress, I think it's ridiculous that women are expected to be tiny. It's not right, nor is it fair. It's especially wrong for people to be bullied or even discriminated against based on their weight. A person's weight is not just an equation of variables within that person's control. As I can freely attest, I'm eating as healthily and carefully as ever, when I can. But my situation makes it difficult to obtain healthy foods for the weekend...so eh. And I don't have time to waste working out, I'm too busy with homework! >O

I'm sure there are many reasons people are fat, and the fat person isn't the one who is to be completely blamed. I'm certain that western society itself is responsible in a way for the number of obese people that exist within itself. And society is only a SMALL variable in the equation, one of many. You have to think about a person's economic status, the economic status of the city, county, state, country and overall society of where they live, the availability of healthy choices and how healthy those "healthy choices" actually are, how much TIME that person has on a day-to-day basis to actually be able to exercise a reasonable amount of time and recover from that and such, their fitness level, their childhood, how they were raised...like for example were they raised up to "clean their plates?" and there are just so many many more variables that I could list and still not even reveal more than the tip of the iceberg.

Most of those variables, can't really be influenced much at all by the person either.

So, why in the world should ANYONE tolerate ANYBODY bullying ANYONE about their weight? It should be completely socially taboo and unacceptable. The only person who should ever have any say about a person's weight is their doctor, IF AND ONLY IF it is a significant enough risk to their health, I'll arbitrarily say for example 40% or more risk, basically a % chance per day that they will spontaneously suffer a major medical emergency. Of course that percentage is arbitrary and can be overridden by anyone with a medical degree, but that's just an example of the only time it should be acceptable to ridicule or mention someone's weight in any negative way.

Anna
July 23rd, 2011, 04:07 PM
The thinness factor is so weird to me. I don't think about "thin" so much as "healthy". Would me being healthier equate to me being thinner? Hell yes. But I'll never fit under a size 10 in pants. I'm not built that way. And why would you want to be so skinny? It's not like it's really benefiting you to be skinnier than you are intended. Besides the fact that retailers seem only to make cute clothes for small people. Bikinis, bras, panties, shorts, dresses- you will not find cute ones if you are over C in the chest and 8 in the hips, I assure you. Terribly annoying and slightly insulting.

It's a bit odd that a lot of people don't seem to understand that some people are built to be thin and some are not. I and my friends Kelsey and Janyesha are all 5'6", give or take half an inch. Kelsey is thin by design, being 95-105lbs no matter what she does. And believe me, she eats the most unhealthy things. Nye and I on the other hand are built to be bigger. I weigh 190lbs- though you'd never guess, I look amazing- and she about 210. We've got big hips, butts, thighs and breasts. We're... curvy. Kels is a bit of a stick. Anyway. What I'm saying is that things like BMI and whatever are so inaccurate to even giving you a "healthy weight" to be at. Kelsey's healthy weight is about 100lbs, mine around 170 and Nye's perhaps 190.

And to everyone who is saying "overweight is good"- it's not. It's bad for your general health and increases strain on the muscles you use regularly and boosts chances of heart disease and such. There isn't a good way to tell if one is overweight, no, but I feel like I can tell when I myself am above a healthy weight. And it does not feel good.

All that one should be is "healthy". That's the best thing one can do for oneself.

/off on a tangent

Oh forgot to mention: John Barrowman approves of curvy girls. ;3

Esper
July 23rd, 2011, 04:23 PM
It's awful when you get pressured to be thin. People have different body shapes and body types. There's nothing wrong with that.

Someone cutting him/herself cause of mockery shows lack of strength of character, though.
Don't say things like that. Lack of character belongs to the bully.

Besides the fact that retailers seem only to make cute clothes for small people. Bikinis, bras, panties, shorts, dresses- you will not find cute ones if you are over C in the chest and 8 in the hips, I assure you. Terribly annoying and slightly insulting.
This is a big problem. I worked in a retail store once and you could see that the small sizes got the most interesting styles. Even when a store is better and carries something in all sizes you usually have a lot more small sizes in stock, as if that's the 'standard' size or something.

From what I understand sizes have changed over the years so that someone who was once a size 10 would be a 12 or 14 now. That's just hearsay, though I wouldn't be surprised if it were true.

사랑해
July 23rd, 2011, 04:42 PM
And why would you want to be so skinny? It's not like it's really benefiting you to be skinnier than you are intended. Besides the fact that retailers seem only to make cute clothes for small people. Bikinis, bras, panties, shorts, dresses- you will not find cute ones if you are over C in the chest and 8 in the hips, I assure you. Terribly annoying and slightly insulting.


Oh gosh, I know. My friend is a D cup and is a 7 in pants, and everytime we go shopping together, I feel so bad about her not being able to find something cute. /:

I do agree that it's gotten worse over the years, because we've gotten better editing for photos, just to make people appear even more thin. But it also depends on where you're located in the world, how much acceptance you will earn.

When I went to Korea with my aunt who is overweight (but not obese), we heard more rude comments about her clothing choices for her body than in America.

parallelzero
July 23rd, 2011, 06:16 PM
I've had MDs, LVNs, RNs and more all tell me the whole BMI chart was inaccurate. Not to mention the fact that I can lose about 50lbs in a week or so...just by working at the family business.

If you're losing that much weight that quickly, you should probably go see a doctor, because you're probably extremely sick. =/ Unless of course you were overdramatizing, because that's biologically impossible to lose that much weight that quickly.

I think everyone just needs to remember that we're all human, and that we're all different people. Weight can be altered by a number of reasons, and they aren't always reasons the people in question can control. Crap happens, and that's that.

And since I'm here...

@Freedom Fighter N: Nice theme, bro.

2Cool4Mewtwo
July 23rd, 2011, 06:29 PM
..........Not to mention the fact that I can lose about 50lbs in a week or so...just by working at the family business. (A paper warehouse fyi; all sorts of paper products and more to lug around. And it's usually just me and the Warehouse manager..........
WHHHAAAAAATTTTTTT????????????
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/102009/1255605321_shocked.gif

I wish I can lose at least 1/3 of that per week... 6'1'' 210lbs... I'm kinda fat :3

Anyways, I don't think it's nice to call someone fat and make fun of that... especially if that person is a female.

Shadow_Angel
July 23rd, 2011, 06:56 PM
I do think the pressure to be thin is...is just sad. I thinm I need to lose a few pounds myself, though. Though it's not fair to other people who are overweight because of...anything, an eating disorder, anything. It's disgusting society treats people this way. I have the pressure to be thin.
I have a story for you all.
So, I was at the beach. I didn't go swimming, because I'm awfully uncomfortable with my body. I think I'm overweight and ugly as crap. I was at the park, wearing a short sleeve shirt and jeans. It was like 90 degrees outside; people were giving me weird stares for wearing jeans in such hot weather, even my parents thought it was weird, and crazy.
My mom said I was weird. Anyways, onto the story. I was at the beach. they had a park in the middle of the beach, on the grass where people relax. I was playing on a swing set or something, and then I was talking to some people I had met (some girls younger than me) and one of the girls spoke up and told me I was chubby. I immiedately looked down at my stomach. I felt bad and my self esteem got lower. It hurt. Even if it is a minor comment like that, it stings to hear something like that. I didnt' say anything back, actually, i just shrugged and walked off, like it didn't hurt me at all.
But the truth is to me, words hurt. Even if it's a joke, a minor comment anything, it hurts me a lot.
People don't understand how much words can hurt and push people to the limit.

Myles
July 23rd, 2011, 09:10 PM
I'm agreeing with OP. The whole weight thing has gone way too far.

I've had MDs, LVNs, RNs and more all tell me the whole BMI chart was inaccurate.

The reason it's inaccurate is because it doesn't take into account the weight of your muscles, bones, etc. But ultimately, unless your muscles are visible, it won't be off by too much. So if you get say 30 BMI, you're probably overweight regardless of your body build.

Not to mention the fact that I can lose about 50lbs in a week or so...just by working at the family business. (A paper warehouse fyi; all sorts of paper products and more to lug around. And it's usually just me and the Warehouse manager. It isn't easy work though...but I walk around the warehouse all day anyway running errands so heh. XD)

That must have been a typo because that isn't biologically possible. 50 lbs = 175,000 calories. If you were working out at the gym constantly without sleep for one week you would lose ~60,000 calories (and that's generous). Also you would have to be eating ridicolous amounts (e.g. 300 Big Macs) in order to not lose weight.

But I digress, I think it's ridiculous that women are expected to be tiny. It's not right, nor is it fair. It's especially wrong for people to be bullied or even discriminated against based on their weight. A person's weight is not just an equation of variables within that person's control. As I can freely attest, I'm eating as healthily and carefully as ever, when I can. But my situation makes it difficult to obtain healthy foods for the weekend...so eh. And I don't have time to waste working out, I'm too busy with homework! >O

I'm sure there are many reasons people are fat, and the fat person isn't the one who is to be completely blamed. I'm certain that western society itself is responsible in a way for the number of obese people that exist within itself. And society is only a SMALL variable in the equation, one of many. You have to think about a person's economic status, the economic status of the city, county, state, country and overall society of where they live, the availability of healthy choices and how healthy those "healthy choices" actually are, how much TIME that person has on a day-to-day basis to actually be able to exercise a reasonable amount of time and recover from that and such, their fitness level, their childhood, how they were raised...like for example were they raised up to "clean their plates?" and there are just so many many more variables that I could list and still not even reveal more than the tip of the iceberg.

Most of those variables, can't really be influenced much at all by the person either.

I understand that some people have diseases that make it difficult for them to lose weight. But this is usually overblown. Those diseases are actually very rare. And while genetics can have an effect on your metabolism, it's not nearly the massive 'you either have it or you don't' that people act like it is. And people who are overweight usually have a faster metabolism than people who aren't because they need more energy just to move around so their metabolism compensates.

And your metabolism only really matters for day to day automatic weight loss. If you drink an ice cold glass of water, everyone will lose the same amount of energy trying to equalise it with their body temperature.

1 Calorie = 1°C of 1 litre/kg of water (waters weighs 1kg for every litre)

The same goes for other workouts. The same amount of energy needed to lift a weight will be the same for everyone regardless of metabolism. This is the laws of physics. energy = work

wcdaily
July 23rd, 2011, 09:57 PM
Actually, it's the other way around for me. I'm really skinny, and wish I was a little fatter. Also, incredibly skinny girls don't attract me, I would prefer it if I didn't see your ribs, or you at least had some meat on you.

Azure Rathalδs
July 23rd, 2011, 11:39 PM
I do think that the pressure to be thin is going too far. I do prefer being underweight to overweight, as underweight seems to have less health affects. Unfortunately I'm one of those people who has to have a near-prefect diet in order to stay healthy. It seems that it's the hormones that seem to be a major issue, which can't be changed, which is why a lot of people stay fat for the rest of their lives.

Buttered Coat
July 24th, 2011, 03:54 AM
Seeing as the pressure to be skinny has resulted in anorexia and bulimia, yes, I think it has gone too far.

I'm one of those people that don't read magazines because the women in them are so incredibly fake. I always seem pretty carefree about my weight, but I'm actually quite self-conscious. I don't think I'm overweight, but I feel like I'm getting kinda close, and I'm a bit bigger than some of my friends.
It's practically impossible for me to go shopping for nice clothes because all those pretty clothes that I'd like to wear are about 2 or 3 sizes too small, and I feel so out of place when I wander into the stores that sell those clothes because there are all those girls that are, by societies definition, 'perfect', and I'm not.
I have days where I feel really bad about myself, and if I pay any attention to what clothes I'm putting on on those days, it almost brings me to tears because all I can think of is how big they look.
I wish society would stop corrupting the minds of people by making a fake definition of beautiful. I wish that society would stop making people think that looks are everything. I wish society would give my innocence back.

Guy
July 24th, 2011, 11:35 AM
Every person comes in their own shape. No matter how round, how square, how tall, how short; we're each different. For example, no two abs are the same. Therefore, we each come with our own body types. Personally, the idea to be this solid form for both a guy and girl is taken way over everyone's head. To each their own, and if they're comfortable in their skin, then so be it.

I will say, if you're obese or you know you're just too heavy ─ or even too thin ─ and you feel uncomfortable with yourself, then you should get up and do something. Don't sit on the couch eating a bag of potato chips watching TV for hours expecting anything to change. It's only going to change when you start doing something about it.

Now, I don't think people should aim to be this perfect shape that is advertised everywhere on TV and magazines. Their goal should be how they would like to see themselves; not how the world wants to see them or how the world tells them they should be. Otherwise, the idea to be this perfect shape (note: I do not say thin or bigger, because today it's not so much about being thin in general, but having this "perfect" shaped and built body) is ridiculous in my opinion.

For myself, I was a pretty skinny kid growing up and this wasn't my fault either; it's just a family trait. It wasn't till I got to high school that I decided I wanted to make a change. I didn't want to be this skinny guy anymore. So, I started focusing on eating more and eating healthier and working out and lifting weights to get into a better shape. Of course, being in high school my focus was looking in so many directions, I never really stuck to it. But now, I'm really focused and more serious about it, and I can see improvements in myself compared to just the start of the year. I stick with a routine and change it up every so often so my body doesn't get used to it. I drink protein drinks, I eat right, and I'm making a change in myself.

In my opinion, it's all about being the change you want to see, not about being the change others expect you to be.

Gothitelle.
July 24th, 2011, 12:16 PM
This is one thing I've been made fun of for. The fact that I'm not "thin". I'm far from it actually. And that's one reason why no one wanted to be my friend when I was in school. Because I was always the fat kid.

It's hard actually, I wish I was perfect, but I'm not. So I just gave up trying,

deoxys121
July 24th, 2011, 12:43 PM
I'd like to make a comment about when people describe skinny as "beautiful." I don't agree with that in all cases. Here's my opinion of beauty: "You can't see true beauty with your eyes. You can only see it with your heart."

Freedom Fighter N
July 24th, 2011, 01:02 PM
I'd like to make a comment about when people describe skinny as "beautiful." I don't agree with that in all cases. Here's my opinion of beauty: "You can't see true beauty with your eyes. You can only see it with your heart."

WHHHAAAAAATTTTTTT????????????
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/102009/1255605321_shocked.gif
What the hell?
That's the most illogical thing I've heard in a while.

deoxys121
July 24th, 2011, 01:06 PM
What the hell?
That's the most illogical thing I've heard in a while.

That's just my opinion, and I'm entitled to it. If you don't like it, fine. Just don't be rude about it, please.

Freedom Fighter N
July 24th, 2011, 01:11 PM
Sorry, I didn't intend to.

But really that's like saying looks don't matter. Whenever someone says that it pisses me off.

deoxys121
July 24th, 2011, 01:18 PM
But really that's like saying looks don't matter.

Actually, that's exactly the point I was trying to make. When looking for a serious relationship, looks are the last thing I think about. The main thing I care about is personality. If they have a good personality, I would attempt to get with them no matter what kind of looks they had.

Gothitelle.
July 24th, 2011, 01:36 PM
Same here. Looks might matter to you because you proably are so good looking that you can get anyone you want. But for people like me, it doesn't work that way.

Freedom Fighter N
July 24th, 2011, 01:45 PM
Actually, that's exactly the point I was trying to make. When looking for a serious relationship, looks are the last thing I think about. The main thing I care about is personality. If they have a good personality, I would attempt to get with them no matter what kind of looks they had.

And like I've said, that's one of the things that can get me out of my calm, oh-a-nuke-fell-behind-me-let's-watch-smile-and-enjoy-the-fireworks-self. I give up. I can't, will never, and won't attempt to understand you further.

For me, it's the opposite. I would never enter a relationship with a girl no matter how great her personality is if she is not pretty enough, or at least looks decent. In fact, I'm not a psychic so I can't figure who has the best personality so the first thing I see is appearance. In fact, a significant majority of men say that beauty > personality. And I agree with the majority on that one, if I had not made it clear yet.

Where is the 12 years old that calls me lookist when you need him...

And Gothitelle., you raise a good point. Nobody ever said anything about how I look. But no; I've given up trying to find someone. I just can't a girl that fits me. In other words, words that will probably make deoxys here happy, never found a girl that.. had gold in her personality, I think you'll understand.
I won't say what I intend to say, because it seems you're quite sensitive about it, but I'll gladly point out the issue (or at least, what I think it is) if you'd like.

-ty-
July 24th, 2011, 02:01 PM
This is one thing I've been made fun of for. The fact that I'm not "thin". I'm far from it actually. And that's one reason why no one wanted to be my friend when I was in school. Because I was always the fat kid.

It's hard actually, I wish I was perfect, but I'm not. So I just gave up trying,

No one is "perfect". Although people may comment about your weight to boost their self esteem, do not let their insecurities discourage you. It is one thing to take pride in one's appearance; that shows good self-esteem. Conversely, when you need to tear someone down in order to take pride in your own appearance, it shows low self-esteem but that is masked by their feigned perfection.

Gothitelle.
July 24th, 2011, 04:24 PM
And Gothitelle., you raise a good point. Nobody ever said anything about how I look. But no; I've given up trying to find someone. I just can't a girl that fits me. In other words, words that will probably make deoxys here happy, never found a girl that.. had gold in her personality, I think you'll understand.
I won't say what I intend to say, because it seems you're quite sensitive about it, but I'll gladly point out the issue (or at least, what I think it is) if you'd like.

Sure, I don't mind. I was a little sensitive about it because while I think I have a great personality, I can never get a date because I'm not some skinny little *****. Because of that, I will always be alone in that department. You guys are lucky you have friends and dates. Be fortunate.

groteske
July 26th, 2011, 06:08 PM
Sure, I don't mind. I was a little sensitive about it because while I think I have a great personality, I can never get a date because I'm not some skinny little *****. Because of that, I will always be alone in that department. You guys are lucky you have friends and dates. Be fortunate.

You're probably not getting dates because insecurity and bitterness emanates in a mile-wide radius around you. If you have a pleasant personality and something decent about yourself to offer, someone's going to be interested. Stop whining, smile a little more, and do something about it.

I will say, if you're obese or you know you're just too heavy ─ or even too thin ─ and you feel uncomfortable with yourself, then you should get up and do something. Don't sit on the couch eating a bag of potato chips watching TV for hours expecting anything to change. It's only going to change when you start doing something about it.

QFTFT

The whining nonsense in this thread is nauseating. If you CAN change your weight, do it. If you have a health or genetics issue that inhibits it, either change what you can, accept yourself as you are, or look into procedures/pharmaceuticals that can manage it more effectively.

Last time I did something dumb and was too miserable to eat for days, I managed just fine on 2-3 crackers every few hours, and a small salad with some form of meat around 6pm. I lost 15 pounds in two weeks. You'd be surprised with how little food you actually need. If you order out, don't get fries. And good God, don't eat before sleeping. Easiest way to gain weight in the world. Conversely, a quick way to lose weight is to eat one metric ♥♥♥♥ton of fiber each day for a few days.

pokecole
August 2nd, 2011, 05:24 PM
It's true that weight has become a bigger issue over the years, and the media hasn't helped at all. Being a boy, it hasn't affected me as much. But, that doesnt mean I don't have an opinion. Some people are built differently. Some are bulkier, some are lighter. It is fairly genetic. Although, some people lack a good diet, and that doesn't help. I just happen to be lighter than my friends. I'm 12 and I weigh like 90 something and i'm about 5 foot. I have a friend who is taller heavier and younger. So it really varies on the person.

Kylie-chan
August 2nd, 2011, 09:07 PM
I'll be upfront. Something nobody here (afaik) knows about me is that I suffered from anorexia for years as a result of constant bullying at school and home. I mistakenly believed that I would be happy with myself if I could reach a (dangerously low) certain weight. My brain told me it was illogical and would only make me unhappier, and of course I was quite right. But inside I was such an unhappy and desperate person that I clung onto any belief that my happiness was in my control because in my life I needed hope that things would get better. I was terribly wrong and it's taken me the last few years to really snap out of the kind of self-damaging, irrational thinking that I employed to mask my more rationally-founded doubt and to spur myself on in the name of starvation. Mentally the scars were numerous, physically my weight plunged to a dramatically low level and some of my muscles even atrophied to varying degrees.

Something a lot of people with EDs do is go online looking for support groups. I relied on a LiveJournal-based support group for encouragement and tips, and one horrible thing I often saw there was girls asking how to 'become' anorexic. Because, shockingly enough, girls actually want to be that depressed and miserable in order to fit into smaller clothes and, more importantly, to believe they are lovable and beautiful and going to be happy.

Last time I did something dumb and was too miserable to eat for days, I managed just fine on 2-3 crackers every few hours, and a small salad with some form of meat around 6pm. I lost 15 pounds in two weeks. You'd be surprised with how little food you actually need. If you order out, don't get fries. And good God, don't eat before sleeping. Easiest way to gain weight in the world. Conversely, a quick way to lose weight is to eat one metric ♥♥♥♥ton of fiber each day for a few days.

For the love of God, please don't encourage people to starve themselves to lose weight, lol. It's not a 'quick and effective' weight loss tool, especially since if you aren't eating enough to support the energy you burn in a day, you'll end up putting it back on. There are far healthier ways to lose weight (exercise, HEALTHY diet changes... if you have a legitimate medical condition that causes weight gain, see a specialist). A few crackers every few hours devolved into a few crackers a day for me. In fact, I still have my old, rigorously-recorded calorie charts. They would likely horrify you. Exercise, and eat what you need to support that exercise.

Sure, I don't mind. I was a little sensitive about it because while I think I have a great personality, I can never get a date because I'm not some skinny little *****. Because of that, I will always be alone in that department. You guys are lucky you have friends and dates. Be fortunate.

The grass is always greener on the other side. Having been anorexic, I can tell you that you're never thin enough to satisfy yourself when you have that kind of eating disorder. At the start I told myself I'd be happy when I hit (x) pounds. When I hit (x) pounds, I lowered it to accomodate my compounding misery. I never, ever felt happy with myself inside or out. It's not being thin that made me a happy person in the end, it was accepting who I was and being happy with who I have become.

You are probably not as fat as you think you are; self body image is a treacherous thing. Furthermore, every body type appeals to somebody, and especially as people grow older and become more mature (people can be immature at any age, but in middle / high school, damn, it's terrible), they realise personality matters more. Personality is what you're going to be living with. Personally, I really am mostly attracted to personality. So don't give up hope, and don't make the mistake of envying people who look the way you want to. Learn to love yourself, and if there are things you would like to improve (such as becoming fitter and healthier), work on them in a safe, healthy way.

Finally: no, you can't lose weight sitting still. I agree that if you're unhappy with your weight then you should do something about it, but people in here are just being ridiculously unsympathetic and smug. I really love exercising. Something anyone can do is walk. Just walking for half an hour a day does wonders for your health. It builds up strength and releases endorphins. A good lone walk can clear your head (or get you and the dog out, or take you to see beautiful things), or you can join a walking group, or go walking with friends as a social activity. It all adds up and over the weeks you start doing it, you'll be able to feel yourself becoming fitter, getting more stamina, and being able to walk further and further. Chances are you'll come to really enjoy the fresh air and activity. Even the feeling of doing something and getting out of the house can make you feel really good about yourself. Even if you can't make the time for it every day, do it a few times a week. You might not lose half your body weight overnight, but it's a healthy and sane way of losing weight and improving your life.

Also, I'm going to implore everyone to consider the reasons they want to lose weight. If it's for other people, then maybe you don't need to be constantly bending over backwards to please others. If it's because you don't like who you are, then re-evaluate and work on your self-esteem, because weight loss isn't a quick fix for depression. If you need to, good luck!

deoxys121
August 2nd, 2011, 09:42 PM
Also, I'm going to implore everyone to consider the reasons they want to lose weight. If it's for other people, then maybe you don't need to be constantly bending over backwards to please others. If it's because you don't like who you are, then re-evaluate and work on your self-esteem, because weight loss isn't a quick fix for depression. If you need to, good luck!

Wow. I must say I've never known anyone who has been able to successfully come out of an anorexic stage, especially one that resulted from constant bullying and what-not for your weight. I'm even more impressed that you were able to say "You know what, who cares what they say?" and only care about whether or not you're satisfying yourself. I think a lot more women should be able to say that.

My girlfriend is overweight and has been made fun of for it in the past, but never by me. I have managed to show her that she doesn't have to lose weight for me, and that has been enough for her. (I actually find heavy-set women more attractive). She says I'm the first boyfriend she's had that hasn't told her to lose weight, and I think the worst thing you could ever do to someone you love is tell them to change something about themselves. This includes losing weight; I find it highly disrespectful to tell anyone to change something about themselves.

Overall, all I'm saying to you is congratulations on being the one to overcome your difficulties as a direct victim of today's pressure to be thin.