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-ty-
July 29th, 2011, 07:05 PM
Gay Adoption?

Several states do not allow gay couples or unmarried couples to adopt children. Florida even prohibits LGBT individuals from adopting children. Is denying gay couples the right to adopt best for the children?

I personally know people who were in the foster care system who just wanted some place to call home, with people who care for them. Why prohibit people who do not have a criminal background and have the means to support a family from adopting a child?

Another pertinent issue, is custody. Many state agencies only allow one gay individual to adopt, and their "partner" cannot have any form of custody. So if something were to happen to the legal guardian parent, the other parent would not be able to have custody of the child. A child that they may have taken care of for several years.

Cherrim
July 29th, 2011, 07:16 PM
I don't understand it at all. At all. As far as I know it's completely legal in any province in Canada for a same-sex couple to adopt and that it's not the same everywhere, or at least in developed countries, makes my blood boil a little bit.

This isn't even like the dumb "should same-sex people be allowed to give blood" debate with the HIV/AIDS thing, this is just plain discrimination for no reason than ~morals~. If a single-parent can adopt a child and be considered a fit parent despite any shortcomings (lack of a father/mother, lack of second income), I see no reason why two people who could be deemed fit on their own should both be able to adopt the child if they live in the same household. :s

Mind you, I honestly don't know that much about adoption but regardless, it makes no sense to me that something like this isn't allowed. The only argument I've seen against it is that people think it's "weird" for a child to grow up with two dads or two moms but I've never seen any evidence of that. :/

Kyoko
July 29th, 2011, 07:34 PM
For people interested in this issue, I recommend reading The Kid (What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to get Pregnant) and The Commitment by Dan Savage. He and his now husband adopted their son back in the 90's when there were only a few states that allowed gay adoption. They're great/hilarious/interesting reads from the perspective of a gay couple adopting.

That being said, I think it's so horrible some states don't allow it. It's so sad that there are children in the foster system who could benefit from a loving family and are being denied certain families who would be happy to adopt them because they're a gay couple. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with how well you can love and raise a child.

deoxys121
July 29th, 2011, 07:47 PM
I fully agree that every state should allow same-sex couples to adopt. I'm all for homosexual rights, and adoption is no different. The fact that homophobia is still so abundant in the world, especially developed countries like the United States, is just ridiculous, in my opinion. Sexual orientation says nothing about a parent's ability to raise a child.

G.U.Y.
July 29th, 2011, 07:48 PM
There has never been any evidence besides superstition and stupidity (the dreaded double 'S') that says gay parents are any worse or any better than straight parents. My state bans gay couple adoption (although single gay people can adopt) and their reasoning have no basis. All it does it run around in circles screaming superstition.

FSQQK2Vuf9Q

Sydian
July 29th, 2011, 07:48 PM
It's ridiculous that it's against the law for same-sex couples to adopt. What's better for the child? Being in the adoption home forever or being adopted by a same-sex couple? It's not like having gay parents will make that child gay, and even if the child does end up gay, there's nothing wrong with that. It's just the US being homophobic is all.

As for unmarried couples, I can kind of see why that wouldn't be allowed, because there's nothing binding the couple in question together legally. Plus it's easier to leave a relationship than it is to leave a marriage. So that would be hard, but who's to say that a married couple that adopts won't divorce? That must be taken into consideration too. But I think the main reason for this is because like I said, there's nothing holding the two potential parents together legally. Not really sure where to go on this subject.

As for single parents, why not let them adopt? I guess it's because being a single parent is hard, but I spent most of my life in a single-parent household, and I turned out fine. Plus there are some people that probably just don't think they can handle marriage, would prefer to be alone, and then there are widows. I know someone who lost her fiance and then remarried a few years ago, but that man passed away shortly after as well. Marriage isn't something she really wants to pursue now after losing two loves, but what if she wanted a child? Because single people can't adopt, she's pretty much denied the right to be a parent. Sure, there are other options for single people to have a child, but some would prefer adoption. Of course though, there's this law prohibiting it in the way, so alas.

tl;dr It's better for children to actually be adopted, no matter if it's by gay parents, unwed parents, or a single parent. They do background checks and interviews and such, from what I understand. So it's not like they'll just go to a horrible household.

2Cool4Mewtwo
July 29th, 2011, 07:59 PM
As much as I support much of gay rights, I don't think Gay Adoption is a good thing for the child. Just imagine how traumatized and ostracized that child would be if he/she or other kids around him found out that his/her parents were gay.

Sydian
July 29th, 2011, 08:25 PM
As much as I support much of gay rights, I don't think Gay Adoption is a good thing for the child. Just imagine how traumatized and ostracized that child would be if he/she or other kids around him found out that his/her parents were gay.

Unfortunately, kids are going to make fun of other kids for whatever reason. "You're ugly." "You're weird." "You're stupid." There are far more things a kid is going to get made fun of other than just "You have two dads/moms." I think our society is getting more accepting of homosexuals. We're not totally there, especially in certain places, but we're more far along than we were a decade or two ago.

Also, is it better for the child to have parents that love them? Or being made fun of? A parent's love, whether it's a man and a woman, a man and a man, or a woman and a woman should be more assurance and comfort for a child to where what kids say shouldn't matter. If a gay couple comes in wanting to adopt a kid and they're denied, what are the chances of a heterosexual couple coming in for them? Sure, they exist, but what if that gay couple was their only chance? That child was just robbed of the love it deserved.

-ty-
July 29th, 2011, 08:31 PM
As much as I support much of gay rights, I don't think Gay Adoption is a good thing for the child. Just imagine how traumatized and ostracized that child would be if he/she or other kids around him found out that his/her parents were gay.

So our laws should have to cater to homophobia? Should interracial couples not adopt because they are not in the social norm either? Should parents lose weight so that kids aren't teased b/c they have an overweight/obese parent? Should disabled parents be able to adopt, because children may tease them?

"Perry v. Schwarzenegger Trial-Day 05" Michael Lamb, Ph.D.: "The studies that have explored this in more detail show that while children with gay or lesbian parents are more likely to be teased about their family configuration, they aren't more likely to be teased in general. Children tease one another for a variety of reasons. Children get teased because their ethnic group is different, because they have curly hair, because they are fat, because they have a funny accent. Children can be very cruel to one another. And when it's possible to tease somebody about the sexual orientation of their parents, they may be teased for that but that doesn't mean that they are more likely to be teased overall."

Kids will always tease other kids. But some kids will not be able to have loving parents.

Black Ice
July 29th, 2011, 08:43 PM
The fact that this is still an issue in 2011 simply boggles the mind.

As much as I support much of gay rights, I don't think Gay Adoption is a good thing for the child. Just imagine how traumatized and ostracized that child would be if he/she or other kids around him found out that his/her parents were gay.
That is society's problem and it's not going to go away by denying gays something so simple.

There might also be that slim possibility that being in an orphanage is worse than having parents.

FreakyLocz14
July 29th, 2011, 09:16 PM
My personal opinion is that same-sex couples should be able to adopt.

-ty-
July 29th, 2011, 09:43 PM
i feel bad for the kid who is ugly weird stupid and has the gay parents.



no silly, laws regarding adoption have to cater to children in a homophobic world. im a *** so dont mistake my position, but its easier for a kid adopted by one gay parent to say thats there only parent, not so much when there are two of the same. its not a law to spite gays, it has to do with the childs welfare. there are also some heterosexual couples that arent allowed to adopt. the only reason all gay couples in certain areas arent allowed to is because the reason why they arent allowed to applies to all of them. im sure if two people of the same sex managed to produce a child of their own the state wouldnt take it away. unfortunately this is impossible thus far.

i think as we become less and less of a homophobic world these laws will change. i dont think its too far off either, but dont mistake why the laws are still in place as catering to homophobia.

I guess you just have to weigh being teased with providing a loving home. Which one is more important to the child?

Guy
July 30th, 2011, 05:03 AM
Unmarried couples I can understand. There's no legal binding of the two partners, therefore compared to a divorce, it's easy as walking out the door and never coming back. Which in return, can leave struggles for the parent remaining with the child. However, I see no reason as to why a married couple of the same gender couldn't adopt. That's just being discriminative of people and saying they're unfit just because of their choice of lifestyle.

The way I see it, if a mother and a grandmother can raise a child by themselves or a father and his brother can raise the father's kid together without the opposite sex being present in the raising of the child, then I see it no different than if two gay or lesbian parents did the same. It's just being homophobic if you believe them raising that child will make the child the same way when he grows up.

If a child can receive love from these two parents, then why should it matter what sexual orientation they are? I think that's what should count the most above anything else. So, when I hear a married gay couple can't adopt, I just find that to be absolutely ridiculous.

Went
July 30th, 2011, 05:23 AM
My parents aren't married and I have had a wonderful childhood. I think no couples should be banned from adopting by default. If a couple has been living together for long enough, have appropriate income, etc, I don't see a reason to deny the child the love of the wannabe parents. Each case should be checked individually, but forbidding couples from adopting because they haven't signed a legal contract (that's marriage anowadays) or because they have the same sex is discriminative. Plus, it denies the child from love, and no studies ever said that traditional couples give more love or anything.

Freedom Fighter N
July 30th, 2011, 05:24 AM
Oh look, another thread that has a definitive answer. And you know what it is.

I have only one question.. once a child starts properly interacting with other children, and other children say mother and father, and kindergarten starts talking about mother and father.. how would a child with two fathers or two mothers feel?

Gothitelle.
July 30th, 2011, 05:35 AM
Oh look, another thread that has a definitive answer. And you know what it is.

I have only one question.. once a child starts properly interacting with other children, and other children say mother and father, and kindergarten starts talking about mother and father.. how would a child with two fathers or two mothers feel?

I was going to ask the same question. It... it just wouldn't be right to the child, you know. Calling two men "daddy" or calling two women "mommy" is just....

And the probably won't know what a mom or dad is depending on the situation. Yeah... my state bans gay couples from adopting and I think it's for the best interest of the kids if it stayed that way. To me that is.

*holds flamesheild*

Kyoko
July 30th, 2011, 05:40 AM
Oh look, another thread that has a definitive answer. And you know what it is.

I have only one question.. once a child starts properly interacting with other children, and other children say mother and father, and kindergarten starts talking about mother and father.. how would a child with two fathers or two mothers feel?

obviously it's going to happen, but it's not going to do massive damage or anything. If a child grew up with gay parents, it's what they're used to. Even if kids make fun of them, they still love their parents. I have a friend who was raised by two moms and...... surprise! she's completely fine. She's happy with her life and has no emotional problems or confused ideas about gender. She didn't shun her parents because they were lesbians or stop loving them just because certain kids didn't agree with it. She questioned it for a little when she was little but only because that's what kids do, especially when she's forced to question it in a society that still isn't 100% accepting. Then she continued on living her life happily.

Ursula
July 30th, 2011, 05:47 AM
I was going to ask the same question. It... it just wouldn't be right to the child, you know. Calling two men "daddy" or calling two women "mommy" is just....

And the probably won't know what a mom or dad is depending on the situation. Yeah... my state bans gay couples from adopting and I think it's for the best interest of the kids if it stayed that way. To me that is.

*holds flamesheild*
Usually one is Dad and one is Daddy, or one is Mom and the other is Mama or something.
.............and so you're saying you think it better for children to stay in adoption agencies than receive loving homes?
Gurl.
What is your life.

Blue Nocturne
July 30th, 2011, 05:58 AM
I think it's very sad that there's still a debate about this kind of thing.


.............and so you're saying you think it better for children to stay in adoption agencies than receive loving homes?
This.

Freedom Fighter N
July 30th, 2011, 06:00 AM
obviously it's going to happen, but it's not going to do massive damage or anything. If a child grew up with gay parents, it's what they're used to. Even if kids make fun of them, they still love their parents. I have a friend who was raised by two moms and...... surprise! she's completely fine. She's happy with her life and has no emotional problems or confused ideas about gender. She didn't shun her parents because they were lesbians or stop loving them just because certain kids didn't agree with it. She questioned it for a little when she was little but only because that's what kids do, especially when she's forced to question it in a society that still isn't 100% accepting. Then she continued on living her life happily.

Massive damage? Perhaps not.
But when there's a gathering or something, it would feel extremely awkward when everyone has one mom and dad and you have two of one of them.
I appreciate your input, but one individual can't show results for many. Different children will have different reactions. I suppose some research should be done in order to find different reactions and how to deal with them.

Banjora Marxvile
July 30th, 2011, 06:02 AM
I was going to ask the same question. It... it just wouldn't be right to the child, you know. Calling two men "daddy" or calling two women "mommy" is just....

And the probably won't know what a mom or dad is depending on the situation. Yeah... my state bans gay couples from adopting and I think it's for the best interest of the kids if it stayed that way. To me that is.

*holds flamesheild*

Basically, instead of feeling weird for having 2 of the same gender of parents, it's better to be asked when they may not have parents and in a children's care home, which could happen? Just saying a possibility, because, as I see it, there wouldn't be any less couples consisting of a man and a woman adopting, so if same sex couples didn't adopt, some children may not get a home at all/

It is a little weird. Surely the need to have a stable home should take the utmost importance. If any couple can provide that, then they should be allowed to, and if anything it may help them become more accepting later in life of that lifestyle.

Kiyoshi the Polar Bear
July 30th, 2011, 06:27 AM
As was said multiple times in this thread already, Kids tease each other about everything. Having two fathers or mothers is no different. I personally was teased literally and jokingly about my weight as a child because I was quite the tubster until I was around fourteen. Even though I lost quite a bit of confidence, when I realized that the only person letting it get to me was myself; I came back with a surprising great amount of confidence in myself, which continues to grow today.

So yes, the question truly is whether we should let the silly behavior of children and bigoted adults get in the way of granting homes to many children wasting their lives in adoption care.

Home and Loving Parents > Teasing that they will get past and not care about later

And it's not like the kid will be screwed up for having two dads or moms. Nothing has been shown proving unadulterated evidence that children are harmed or hindered by having two same-sex parents, and there are things proving that the opposite is true.

The only things that would be different is the question of:
"Why don't I have a Mommy/Daddy like everyone else in my class?"

Which the answer to would be answered. (But if you're determined to know what that answer would be, just ask in a reply. I'm sure plenty of people can answer you.)

I plan to have kids when I'm an adult, and I'm going to have a husband. Through we're probably going to use In-Vitro with my friend as the mother but that's besides the point.
I don't see why I should be prevented from having kids just because they might get teased for having same-sex parents. That's like preventing black people from having kids just because they might get teased for being black. And that makes no sense whatsoever.

The world shouldn't cater to bigotry, all we'll get in return is more people thinking it's okay to be bigoted.

Ursula
July 30th, 2011, 06:59 AM
Massive damage? Perhaps not.
But when there's a gathering or something, it would feel extremely awkward when everyone has one mom and dad and you have two of one of them.
I appreciate your input, but one individual can't show results for many. Different children will have different reactions. I suppose some research should be done in order to find different reactions and how to deal with them.
What about when a kid has a single mom/dad...?
Frankly, situations are only as awkward as one perpetuates them to be. If it's not made to be a big deal, it won't be a big deal.
Simple as that.

Gothitelle.
July 30th, 2011, 09:09 AM
Usually one is Dad and one is Daddy, or one is Mom and the other is Mama or something.
.............and so you're saying you think it better for children to stay in adoption agencies than receive loving homes?
Gurl.
What is your life.

No I never said that lol. I don't think that younger kids should be subjected to that yet.

I know that I wasn't. I mean friends with same sex lovers couldn't bring them around the kids when I was younger. Life experiences.

-ty-
July 30th, 2011, 09:12 AM
I was going to ask the same question. It... it just wouldn't be right to the child, you know. Calling two men "daddy" or calling two women "mommy" is just....

And the probably won't know what a mom or dad is depending on the situation. Yeah... my state bans gay couples from adopting and I think it's for the best interest of the kids if it stayed that way. To me that is.

*holds flamesheild*

Gay parents let their children know that other children might have a mom and a dad prior to social engagements like school; it is not a huge surprise to them. Also, many people have two grandmothers, two grandfathers, two brothers, two sisters, two aunts, and why should you have to limit to one dad or mom? I don't know if everyone understands how awful the foster care system can be for a child. Every single person I know whom had gone to foster care said that it was awful.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, "At any given point in time, approximately 540,000 children are in foster care, most of whom have been placed there as a result of abuse or neglect at home. Compared with children from the same socioeconomic background, children in foster care have much higher rates of serious emotional and behavioral problems, chronic physical disabilities, developmental delays, and poor school achievement."

Typically, these conditions are chronic:

Anxiety
Stress
Depression
Substance Abuse

Here is another statement from the American Pediatrics Association, " Studies have shown that children with gay and/or lesbian parents are ultimately just as happy with themselves and their own gender as are their friends with heterosexual parents. Children whose parents are homosexual show no difference in their choice of friends, activities, or interests compared to children whose parents are heterosexual. As adults, their career choices and lifestyles are similar to those of children raised by heterosexual parents."

Research comparing children raised by homosexual parents to children raised by heterosexual parents has found no developmental differences in intelligence, psychological adjustment, social adjustment, or peer popularity between them. Children raised by homosexual parents can and do have fulfilling relationships with their friends as well as romantic relationships later on."

So which one is really best for the child, aside from what biases our society may have?
(P.S. do not reply with info from the Family Research Council or I may vomit in my mouth, lol. )

Bluerang1
July 30th, 2011, 09:26 AM
So our laws should have to cater to homophobia? Should interracial couples not adopt because they are not in the social norm either? Should parents lose weight so that kids aren't teased b/c they have an overweight/obese parent? Should disabled parents be able to adopt, because children may tease them?

"Perry v. Schwarzenegger Trial-Day 05" Michael Lamb, Ph.D.: "The studies that have explored this in more detail show that while children with gay or lesbian parents are more likely to be teased about their family configuration, they aren't more likely to be teased in general. Children tease one another for a variety of reasons. Children get teased because their ethnic group is different, because they have curly hair, because they are fat, because they have a funny accent. Children can be very cruel to one another. And when it's possible to tease somebody about the sexual orientation of their parents, they may be teased for that but that doesn't mean that they are more likely to be teased overall."

Kids will always tease other kids. But some kids will not be able to have loving parents.

OK hold up who said interracial couples aren't a society norm. I find your statement very, very offensive.

Regarding this topic, I couldn't care less. Though, if kids who need parents have people willing to take them in, don't stop them.

QuilavaKing
July 30th, 2011, 09:36 AM
I used to think it wasn't right, as it wasn't the natural situation for a child to grow up in... That's pretty stupid though, imo.

I even know someone who had lesbian parents, and he's extremely successful, has a wife, etc etc

Doing waaay better than most people.

-ty-
July 30th, 2011, 09:55 AM
OK hold up who said interracial couples aren't a society norm. I find your statement very, very offensive.

Regarding this topic, I couldn't care less. Though, if kids who need parents have people willing to take them in, don't stop them.

I don't understand how you were offended. The average couple is not interracial; however, that does not mean that they should be treated atypically. Not too long ago interracial couples could not marry in many states b/c it was not socially acceptable, and therefore they could not adopt children. I am just saying that it is not right to deny children a good home purely based off the fact the house hold may have difference of race and sexuality comparably to the average home.

Freedom Fighter N
July 30th, 2011, 12:10 PM
What about when a kid has a single mom/dad...?
Frankly, situations are only as awkward as one perpetuates them to be. If it's not made to be a big deal, it won't be a big deal.
Simple as that.
To answer your question, if there's a single parent, the child will most likely will get a story like "Mom/dad are not here because"...
Well, it will be strange in a child's point of view. "Hey, why does everyone have only one mother? I have two!". If that isn't strange.. nah I can't think of anything. Imagine there's some sorta metaphor or whatever here.

Gay parents let their children know that other children might have a mom and a dad prior to social engagements like school; it is not a huge surprise to them. Also, many people have two grandmothers, two grandfathers, two brothers, two sisters, two aunts, and why should you have to limit to one dad or mom? I don't know if everyone understands how awful the foster care system can be for a child. Every single person I know whom had gone to foster care said that it was awful.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, "At any given point in time, approximately 540,000 children are in foster care, most of whom have been placed there as a result of abuse or neglect at home. Compared with children from the same socioeconomic background, children in foster care have much higher rates of serious emotional and behavioral problems, chronic physical disabilities, developmental delays, and poor school achievement."

Typically, these conditions are chronic:

Anxiety
Stress
Depression
Substance Abuse

Here is another statement from the American Pediatrics Association, " Studies have shown that children with gay and/or lesbian parents are ultimately just as happy with themselves and their own gender as are their friends with heterosexual parents. Children whose parents are homosexual show no difference in their choice of friends, activities, or interests compared to children whose parents are heterosexual. As adults, their career choices and lifestyles are similar to those of children raised by heterosexual parents."

Research comparing children raised by homosexual parents to children raised by heterosexual parents has found no developmental differences in intelligence, psychological adjustment, social adjustment, or peer popularity between them. Children raised by homosexual parents can and do have fulfilling relationships with their friends as well as romantic relationships later on."

So which one is really best for the child, aside from what biases our society may have?
(P.S. do not reply with info from the Family Research Council or I may vomit in my mouth, lol. )
Wuuut are you talking about? FRC is a divine research council! Are you singling it just because it's a religious one?!

Obvious sarcasm is obvious. I didn't expect reasonable when I saw "Christian" and "Judeo-Christian" below the page link in google anyway..

Well, I find your input fair enough. I suppose I might have been too hard on this particular subject.

OK hold up who said interracial couples aren't a society norm. I find your statement very, very offensive.

Regarding this topic, I couldn't care less. Though, if kids who need parents have people willing to take them in, don't stop them.
Should I use that word.. hm, hard choice.. make someone laugh and get permabanned or nothing.. Nah I'll go for nothing. I'll still ask you this: How from an we-already-have-an-answer-I'm-not-sure-why-this-is-still-an-issue topic to whether interracial couples..

Some members on this site really surprise me more and more.

FreakyLocz14
July 30th, 2011, 09:52 PM
I have no doubts that a same-sex couple could be just as good of parents as a male-female couple. My only worry is the kid getting picked on for having two daddies or two mommies.

Anders
July 31st, 2011, 01:04 AM
I sort of agree with FreakyLocz14. I myself know that there's nothing wrong with being gay or adopting kids when you are, but I think adoption focuses on the best interest of the child. Although it's not a guarantee that a child is going to be made fun of for having gay parents, it's a distinct possibility, considering there's another thread in this section that's labeled "I think I'm going to be sick: US teen killed because he was gay". Obviously there is still homophobia and these children shouldn't be forced to be unwilling martyrs for the cause.

Sodom
July 31st, 2011, 01:31 AM
I don't understand how the argument of "the kids will get picked on for having two mommies/daddies" is even a valid concern. I mean... a child being teased in a school? That never happens, right? Imagine!

But seriously, loving home > adoption agency. Nothing else matters. It's really that simple. Case closed.

-ty-
July 31st, 2011, 01:55 AM
I sort of agree with FreakyLocz14. I myself know that there's nothing wrong with being gay or adopting kids when you are, but I think adoption focuses on the best interest of the child. Although it's not a guarantee that a child is going to be made fun of for having gay parents, it's a distinct possibility, considering there's another thread in this section that's labeled "I think I'm going to be sick: US teen killed because he was gay". Obviously there is still homophobia and these children shouldn't be forced to be unwilling martyrs for the cause.

Martyrs? The gay parents are using their kids for a cause? To the contrary, they are providing a stable home for children. Legislation should not coerce children to have to suffer in the Foster Care System; if you read my previous posts in the thread, I have statements from the AAP (American Association of Pediatrics) that says that their studies have found that there is no difference in development of children that have homosexual parents and heterosexual parents; therefore, yes teasing may affect the child, but ultimately all children are teased, and the study found that homosexual parents do not put their children at a higher risk of detriment to health than those of heterosexual parents. With that being said, the AAP has thoroughly compared children living in foster care opposed to an adoptive family. The results show that children put into foster care are much much more likely to suffer from an array of developmental and psychological disorders than those in homes. Adoption of children, whether the parents are gay, straight, or anything else, is in the best interest of the child, if they are providing both financial and loving support. I mean look at Elton John's kid; I think that with all of the opportunities his fathers can provide for him, being teased about his fathers' sexuality will not really play a major role in the quality of his life. Do you think that taking the child out the home would be in the child's "best interest"?

Anders
July 31st, 2011, 02:36 AM
Martyrs? The gay parents are using their kids for a cause? To the contrary, they are providing a stable home for children. Legislation should not coerce children to have to suffer in the Foster Care System; if you read my previous posts in the thread, I have statements from the AAP (American Association of Pediatrics) that says that their studies have found that there is no difference in development of children that have homosexual parents and heterosexual parents; therefore, yes teasing may affect the child, but ultimately all children are teased, and the study found that homosexual parents do not put their children at a higher risk of detriment to health than those of heterosexual parents. With that being said, the AAP has thoroughly compared children living in foster care opposed to an adoptive family. The results show that children put into foster care are much much more likely to suffer from an array of developmental and psychological disorders than those in homes. Adoption of children, whether the parents are gay, straight, or anything else, is in the best interest of the child, if they are providing both financial and loving support. I mean look at Elton John's kid; I think that with all of the opportunities his fathers can provide for him, being teased about his fathers' sexuality will not really play a major role in the quality of his life. Do you think that taking the child out the home would be in the child's "best interest"?

Whoa. o_o

I didn't mean that gay couples adopting would be doing so to use the children, I'm saying regardless there is homophobia, and them being brought up by a gay couple through adoption would be one thing in a million working towards a better future, but against there will and in a world that isn't that better future.

I don't feel like saying anything else or having an argument with you about this, you seem intent on choosing a side and force feeding your opinions rudely while only bringing up instances that support your cause. I don't care to enter this type of "debate" where people aren't in it to learn something, but to be right just like they are right every other time they get in an argument.

-ty-
July 31st, 2011, 03:19 AM
Whoa. o_o

I didn't mean that gay couples adopting would be doing so to use the children, I'm saying regardless there is homophobia, and them being brought up by a gay couple through adoption would be one thing in a million working towards a better future, but against there will and in a world that isn't that better future.

I don't feel like saying anything else or having an argument with you about this, you seem intent on choosing a side and force feeding your opinions rudely while only bringing up instances that support your cause. I don't care to enter this type of "debate" where people aren't in it to learn something, but to be right just like they are right every other time they get in an argument.

How was I rude at all??? I clearly used credible research and well-constructed points to debunk an opinion. Also, children are "forced" to be adopted into heterosexual, Catholic, Mormon, Jewish, black, white, Muslim and many other different types of families, as long as they have been screened and will be able to provide for the child's needs.

After working with many families, all of which were either single-parent or heterosexual parents, in a school setting, I have seen children living in awful conditions. The parents neglect to support their children in academic endeavors and have substance abuse problems that make the household unstable. Although the children are not taken away from many " at-risk" households, the living situation is unjust for the children. In the future, I intend to provide a much better living situation for my children to ensure that they have better opportunities and more affection than these unstable households, although the parents may be of the same gender.

Furthermore, I could never force anyone to uptake my opinions. It is your choice to believe that they are convincing or not.

Myles
July 31st, 2011, 03:27 AM
The correct response to oppression is not to accept it so as to avoid conflict. Here's an analogy:

Picture America back when there was open and widespread oppression of black people. Would you suggest that black people not have children because they might be mocked and ridiculed?

That is oppression and so is this.

Esper
July 31st, 2011, 11:02 AM
It shouldn't need to be said that children need loving parents and the more care, the more love they have the better adjusted and happy they will be.

If you think kids raised by gay parents would become gay, you're wrong. Even if it were true there's nothing wrong with being gay anyway. This argument against gay people adopting fails both ways.

If you think kids raised by gay parents would be bullied because of it you're blaming the victims, not the bullies. You're also ignoring the fact that kids can be resilient and can get support from their family, their teachers, and even other kids. The possibility that kids might be bullied for something is not a good enough excuse for denying gay couples to adopt.

If you think that kids need to have a female and male role model you're discounting the work done by single parents to raise healthy children. You also discount the possibility of children finding role models in their teachers, neighbors, extended family, and anyone else who might be in their life. More than anything you're putting too much emphasis on something which doesn't have a significant bearing on children's health and well-being as well as playing to gender stereotypes.

Bluerang1
July 31st, 2011, 11:09 AM
Being black is not the same as being gay. I can't say let me be white for a day whereas someone can be "curious" and be involved in homosexual relations for a day. My thoughts anyway. And black people aren't the only race apart from white.

And we're going in circles. "Kids get bullied for anything". "A loving home is better than care. case is pretty much closed".

Myles
July 31st, 2011, 11:57 AM
That wasn't the point. The point was: some people are saying don't have kids if they will be ostracised. And black people were ostracised way more than someone would be if they had gay parents today.

-ty-
July 31st, 2011, 01:38 PM
Being black is not the same as being gay. I can't say let me be white for a day whereas someone can be "curious" and be involved in homosexual relations for a day. My thoughts anyway. And black people aren't the only race apart from white.

And we're going in circles. "Kids get bullied for anything". "A loving home is better than care. case is pretty much closed".

I think something that everyone should keep in mind is their own sexual identity. Assuming you are heterosexual, do you think you could choose to be gay, and do you think you choose to be heterosexual? People do not choose sexual orientation; simply, they choose whether or not to be honest about it with others or whether or not to suppress it.

Furthermore, minority groups, such as black people, have had many struggles in recent years as far as the adoption issue. It wasn't until 1994 the Howard M. Metzenbaum Multiethnic Placement Act was passed. It prohibits an agency that receives Federal assistance and is involved in foster care and adoptive placements from delaying or denying the placement of a child based on race, color, or national origin of the child or adoptive/foster parent. Before they had "race-matching" adoption policies in several agencies. Although it was not accustomed or normative for interracial adoption, the children were placed in good homes that would outweigh any bullying by a mile. The protection should be extended to sexual orientation.

And yes, I agree. I think it is fair to say that we have weighed bullying vs. a loving home, pertinent to the child's best interest. Anyone have any additional points to address?

Black Ice
July 31st, 2011, 01:50 PM
Being black is not the same as being gay. I can't say let me be white for a day whereas someone can be "curious" and be involved in homosexual relations for a day. My thoughts anyway. And black people aren't the only race apart from white.

And we're going in circles. "Kids get bullied for anything". "A loving home is better than care. case is pretty much closed".
I don't know of a single person who, out of the blue, decided to manually rewire his brain to become chemically attracted his own gender. There's a difference between being curious and actually being gay.

FreakyLocz14
July 31st, 2011, 02:32 PM
The couple should be married; though, regardless of gender/orientation.

-ty-
July 31st, 2011, 02:49 PM
The couple should be married; though, regardless of gender/orientation.

So Oprah should not be able to adopt?

If a single-parent is able to provide financial and emotional support, why not allow them to adopt the child out of the foster care system?

Groze and Rosenthal conducted a study that reports on the responses from parents in three midwestern states who had finalized their adoption of a special-needs child before 1988. The sample included 122 single-parents and 651 two-parent families. Researchers found that comparisons of single-parent homes to two-parent homes showed that children in single-parent families experienced fewer problems. (Groze and Rosenthal, 1991) In the same study, research found that single-parent families were more likely than two-parent families to evaluate the adoption's impact as being very positive. (Groze and Rosenthal, 1991)

Single parent adopters have more stringent guidelines than couples. That could be a reason why they were more successful.

FreakyLocz14
July 31st, 2011, 03:08 PM
It is natural for children to be raised by two parents. It's beneficial to their development. Single parents aren't bad, but a couple is preferred.

deoxys121
July 31st, 2011, 03:11 PM
It is natural for children to be raised by two parents. It's beneficial to their development. Single parents aren't bad, but a couple is preferred.

I was raised by a single mom for the first 12 years of my life, and alongside my older brother, and I turned out just fine. As long as parents are able to provide for their children, single or not, homosexual or heterosexual, they should be allowed to adopt.

-ty-
July 31st, 2011, 03:28 PM
I was raised by a single mom for the first 12 years of my life, and alongside my older brother, and I turned out just fine. As long as parents are able to provide for their children, single or not, homosexual or heterosexual, they should be allowed to adopt.

The only problem that comes with single parents is the income. That is why some studies say that single parents are more likely to not provide for their children efficiently. But that doesn't mean at all that a single parent will not be successful, like you stated. I can say the same for myself, as I was raised by my mother, and the same can be said for Barack Obama.

It is natural for children to be raised by two parents. It's beneficial to their development. Single parents aren't bad, but a couple is preferred.

With adoption, the likeliness that a child will not be provided for financially/emotionally is not comparable to the data of non-adoptive single parent families. Single parents undergo an extensive evaluation as far as career, mental health, and other pertinent information. The study above indicated that these single parent adopters were less likely to cause detriment to their adopted children, than couples whom adopted children. Couples have a more lax process in comparison to single-parent adopters.

Bluerang1
July 31st, 2011, 07:40 PM
Oh ok new point: Can one of if not both of two men show the loving desire of a mother? Can one of if not both of two woman show the strong guidance of a father?

Especially the first one, mum's are ace.

-ty-
July 31st, 2011, 08:09 PM
Oh ok new point: Can one of if not both of two men show the loving desire of a mother? Can one of if not both of two woman show the strong guidance of a father?

Especially the first one, mum's are ace.

There are mothers that drown their children. There are mothers that put their children in front of their needs at all costs. There are fathers that beat their children. There are fathers that are caring for the children. Furthermore, women and men are capable of love and guidance. Generally, I think all parents strive to do both. Gender roles are nonsense; they limit each person's responsibilities rather than allowing themselves to achieve more. For instance, my mother was not a house-wife, she worked 10-12 hours every day and brought home the bread for the family making just at six figures. Then, she would bring us places for vacation, use strict discipline when we misbehaved, stay home from work when we were sick, and cook and clean. I can understand the whole bullying point to some extent, but saying a male is not capable of love for his children, and that a woman is not capable of supporting a family's structure is pure rubbish.

Kiyoshi the Polar Bear
July 31st, 2011, 08:10 PM
Oh ok new point: Can one of if not both of two men show the loving desire of a mother? Can one of if not both of two woman show the strong guidance of a father?

Especially the first one, mum's are ace.

Can a single parent do both of those things alone? Yes.

Then I don't see why two males or females can not accomplish the same thing as one person alone could do.

Kyoko
July 31st, 2011, 08:16 PM
Oh ok new point: Can one of if not both of two men show the loving desire of a mother? Can one of if not both of two woman show the strong guidance of a father?

Especially the first one, mum's are ace.

You act like the parents are going to be the only fatherly/motherly interaction the child is going to get. Children can have plenty of motherly love and fatherly guidance from other people such as aunts, uncles, neighbors, teachers, family friends etc.

That being said, why can't a father be both guiding and loving? And vise versa for the mother. You make it sound like only the mothers can be loving and supportive and the fathers as guiding and sturdy. Either or both parents can play those rolls.

U.Flame
July 31st, 2011, 08:25 PM
I agree with Kiyoshi and Kyoko. Two men can have the love of a mother and the guidance of a father, while two women can have the love of a mother and the guidance of a father. I don't see anything wrong with homosexual parenting. With the right education and info, the child shouldn't grow up confused. And I believe most homosexuals are born that way so it's not like the child will become homosexual. Even if they do, what's the problem? The only issue I see is prejudice of others and the child being bullied. But that's not a reason to prohibit homosexual parents, as that's the rest of the world's fault. That's my opinion with the matter, anyone who isn't dangerous deserves to be a parent regardless of their race, sexuality, or anything.

Guy
August 1st, 2011, 03:23 AM
It is natural for children to be raised by two parents. It's beneficial to their development. Single parents aren't bad, but a couple is preferred.
There are many kids I've known and still know who grew up with a single parent and the ended up perfectly natural. In the raising of a child, all it takes is love and guidance for a child to grow up right. The need for two parents, especially in today's time, isn't all that necessary anymore. Sure, having two parents is a wonderful benefit ─ I have grown up with both of my parents ─ but that isn't to say a single parent couldn't be just as good or even better than some parents who are a couple.

Oh ok new point: Can one of if not both of two men show the loving desire of a mother? Can one of if not both of two woman show the strong guidance of a father?

Especially the first one, mum's are ace.
Let me make one thing clear. We don't live in the early 1900's anymore. This is something I was aiming at in what I just said above. Today isn't the same as what it was almost three decades ago. Women can do just as much as men can, and men can do just as much as women can. Gender comparison is absolutely void when it comes to this.

Honestly, there is no factual statement that can prove why kids should not be adopted by gay couples or even a single gay adult. It's all in the head of those who oppose the idea, thinking that it's wrong or that the kids will turn out differently. And you know what? So, what if they turn out different or they're not straight like what society sees fit today? I think living by the standards of society is absolutely boring. If we all lived in the same black and white world as the Dursley's, then they'd be no color on this canvas of ours. Being gay isn't a choice. So long as that child can have the support and love from his or her adopted parent(s), whether they're gay or not, then nothing else should matter. At least that's one more child going into the warmth of a place they can call home.

Melody
August 4th, 2011, 03:51 AM
It sickens me to think that a responsible couple be barred from adoption for being gay or same sex, when there are children in need of families to raise them. There's no factual evidence that speaks against this view. I find people who are morally objected to it to be ill-informed anyway. That's the problem. Most of the time when moral objections can rise above lack of factual backing is when the majority is ill-informed and does not have any reason to remain against it, other than being stubborn.

When it comes to financial things or governmental politics, then stubbornness is fine. Things like that aren't as important. When it comes to children getting what they need however, taking a position against gay couples adopting should be unforgivable. If a child and a same-sex couple are clearly a match, if all the child cares is that it has loving parents then who really has the right to deny them that?

If the couple is stable, has sufficient income and want for a child, both holding a clean record...then there really isn't any reason to bar them from adopting. This is especially true for lesbian couples, who are STILL women with all the mothering instinct despite their orientation. That does not mean I think gay male couples should be left out however, men have parental instincts too.

Sodom
August 4th, 2011, 04:19 AM
Oh ok new point: Can one of if not both of two men show the loving desire of a mother? Can one of if not both of two woman show the strong guidance of a father?

Especially the first one, mum's are ace.

Yes, and yes.

The idea of a child being raised by two parents is of course preferable. Not necessary, but preferable. It allows for shared workload that the child brings or for one parent to work while the other stays home, whatever works for each situation. But the idea that a child needs to be raised by one parent of each gender is as Christian archaic as it is false. The gender of parents is far too emphasised in a child's upbringing. Being raised by two mothers or two fathers will not mess a child up, this much has even been proven with studies.