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View Full Version : Do you think it's acceptable for one to date their own cousin?


Gilgαmesh
September 3rd, 2011, 05:42 PM
Decided to make this a straightforward topic than vague. I guess it helps that way? lol. Anyway, going to go with a few "disclaimers" or something here. First of all, don't give me weird looks. :( In a lot of cultures, dating one's cousin is actually perfectly acceptable, as well as having intimate relationships and all that kinds of stuff with them. at least have a cool enough head to respond to the topic in a level-headed manner, yes?

In a way, I don't consider this incest, because hey, they're not an immediate part of your family, and even if certain sexual activity does happen and whatnot, chances are, the child won't be born with deformities and the such. So I guess this kinda makes it okay in my eyes.

What do you think PC? I guess you can say I'm kind of in the middle and "eh" about it, but then again, I don't really mind it at the same time. n__n;

...And by the way, yes, this is a serious thread. I was confused about whether to make it in either OVP or OC, but I guess this would be the place to make the topic since it seemed more or less controversial. I'm incorrect, Nick can help move it to OVP or something. xD;

TornZero
September 3rd, 2011, 06:01 PM
If they knew they were related, I would have had to be raised in one of those accepting cultures to accept it more than if they didn't know they were cousins. However, I honestly wouldn't mind it all that much if they didn't really bother mentioning it like it's something to brag about. To each their own, right?

Mr. X
September 3rd, 2011, 08:32 PM
Speaking of knowing, I can't remember what country but I think I read about a brother and sister having a kid together.

They were a year apart, but both were in fostercare. They never knew each other and just randomly met in a bar.

I can't remember where I read this, but i'll try to find it.

Anyway, nothing agenst cousins dating each other but its not something that I would do.

Bluerang1
September 3rd, 2011, 09:02 PM
No. They're practically siblings, their parents are anyway. Not enough gene pool mixing. It'll cause problems.

Zet
September 3rd, 2011, 09:19 PM
Depends how distant they are. If they're distant enough that the possibility of deformities is low(like really really low), I guess it would be acceptable for them to do stuff.

Ryanna Jameson
September 3rd, 2011, 09:21 PM
No. They're practically siblings, their parents are anyway. Not enough gene pool mixing. It'll cause problems.
Do you have proof to back this up?

IMO, cousins together are fine. Free love, right? Though they should make themselves aware of any risks if they plan to have children; apparently doctors can tell if they'll have a seriously abnormal child. /shrug

Zet
September 3rd, 2011, 09:27 PM
Do you have proof to back this up?

IMO, cousins together are fine. Free love, right? Though they should make themselves aware of any risks if they plan to have children; apparently doctors can tell if they'll have a seriously abnormal child. /shrug

By saying free love, do you also approve of siblings having kids together?

Sodom
September 3rd, 2011, 09:33 PM
I think anybody should be able to love whoever they want. If it comes from a little closer in the bloodlines than other people are comfortable with, then that's their problem and not yours. Children are a tricky issue however, because it would still be a higher chance of deformity than having a child with someone who was not related to you at all. So I would be hesitant about saying it's OK to have children with your cousin, but if you want to date them, love them, marry them, then who am I to judge?

Kaean
September 3rd, 2011, 09:42 PM
Its actually misconception that incest causes an immediate and horrifying amount of mutations in offspring. Its usually takes generations of inbreeding before the chances get very high and it usually has to be direct relatives as in brother+sister or parent+child. Two cousins having sexual relations that result in children I think only have a 4.4% chance higher of having genetic abnormalities. Some people would say any increase is to much but that makes no sense as anything can rise the chances of genetic mutations. Also I read about a study that in same cases, inbreeding actually increases fertility, though that was between people who were third cousins.

As far as how I feel about it I really don't care, but then I only have three female cousins and only one of them, who I don't find particularly attractive is even close to my age, so its hard for me to say how I personally would deal with it. For two other people, if they love each other, then hey, just take precautions to protect any possible children from birth defects and so what.

Ryanna Jameson
September 3rd, 2011, 09:50 PM
By saying free love, do you also approve of siblings having kids together?
What Andy said.

Love =/= having children. That's why I said that bit about having kids. They should know the risks if they want to have kids and I believe if the combination of genes would result in debilitating physical or mental handicaps then the couple absolutely should not have children. That also applies to anyone who has a high chance of producing offspring with those types of handicaps, not just inter-familial relationships.

Bolanboy
September 4th, 2011, 06:22 AM
You can't help who you fall in love with. This happens more often than you'd actually think, but personally, both my cousins are ugly so nah, I would not tap dat.

Forever
September 4th, 2011, 06:32 AM
lol I think I had a crush on one of my cousins when I was a little kid :x

Buuut idk, the whole idea of actually being -with- someone related to you is sort of creepy to me. I wouldn't do it but if others really want to then they can (just would be weird if you find out and be like "oh hey you're my cousin" "whaaaaaaat").

However sibling relationships or parent to child relationships I don't think is a good idea at all really. Idk I guess it's the society I've been brought up in as mentioned. I guess the chances of love could kind of make sense since in general siblings usually have things in common, aka brought up in same family etc so they might be attracted more due to having common interests.

-ty-
September 4th, 2011, 07:12 AM
I would never dream of doing it.

But for someone else... I'd definitely would not say I am for allowing those with certain percentages of shared blood to have children because they are very likely to have health problems. Although it creeps me out, I can't enforce others to not be able to get married/date so I'd have to say it should be "legally" acceptable.

Mew~
September 4th, 2011, 08:09 AM
Honestly, the way I've been brought up. The sound of it does make it sound kind of well, crazy to me. But I can understand these sorts of things. I just don't think I'd do it, or rather any other person I know. :x It's weird.

Having a child? I read something in a life mag about this couple that didn't know they were cousins and had a few children. They looked fine. xD;

Patatas Fritas
September 4th, 2011, 08:31 AM
I don't see a problem with this, love is love it's up to them if they want to date eachother.
I do recall seeing evidence that having children with your cousin has as much chance of genetic la-di-da as dating someone you're not related too, and, in the past you could marry your cousin and no one would bat an eyelid - It's highly likely every single one of us has family members who were related to eachother by blood and were together.
While I wouldn't do it myself just because I don't really see any of my cousins as being attractive I don't see a problem with it or understand why so many people are against it.

Who is anyone to judge who someone else loves anyway? Is it hurting you? If you don't like it, don't do it it's hardly as if you're forced to date a cousin.

dozo
September 4th, 2011, 08:59 AM
I personally would never even look at a cousin in that sort of way. Being brought up, my cousin was my best friend. But I just couldn't imagine going in for dating them or something, knowing they were related to me. However, if I fell in love with someone and later figured out they were a cousin, I don't know if I would really care, cause I'd already be in too deep or something haha.
I agree about it also being a factor of the distance--first cousin vs. fifth cousin, etc.
Having children with a cousin though wouldn't really make much of a difference in where it messes up genes or anything like that, unless there was a long line of it in your family. Royal families from England used to marry and have children with their cousins to keep "royal blood" and it caused to children to have things like Anemia and things like that.
A lot of people where I live make fun of it, and laugh at the idea of loving a cousin in that way, but I guess it's just a matter of the situation.

Gold warehouse
September 4th, 2011, 09:10 AM
Nobody is getting hurt so I don't see why anyone should consider it unacceptable.

It was commonplace in previous centuries.

I think the "they shouldn't have children" argument is silly too. It's no different to the debate about banning disabled people from having children; we might as well just do tests on any potential parents to check if they've got any risky recessive genes.

If any random pair of scumbags can legally have a child together, why should cousins not be able to?

Oryx
September 4th, 2011, 09:19 AM
Vendak made the point that I was thinking about when I first saw this thread. The only real reason for having marriage of cousins, etc. illegal is due to the genes and possible deformities. But, look at someone with a genetic disease that has a 50/50 chance of being passed on or something like that. Do we make it illegal for them to marry and have children? Why are the cousins any different?

Although the question of legality is completely separate from the question of right and wrong, so. If I was in that situation (either disabled genetically or with a family member), if I wanted children I would adopt.

Dr. McNinja
September 4th, 2011, 10:50 AM
Your children will be your own second cousin?
Besides, it's just... weird.

Blue Nocturne
September 4th, 2011, 10:58 AM
One of my cousins is absolutely gorgeous and a really cool person, and there's no real chance I could have a kid with him. I know he's gay...

But no. I wouldn't. No particular reason, I just guess the concept is a little weird to me. Having said that, is it acceptable? Sure, whatever floats your boat.

Dr. McNinja
September 4th, 2011, 11:03 AM
It depends on personal opinion, some people just find it weird, it shouldn't be illegal to marry your cousin though, in reality it's your choice, and people have to make their own choices on their own opinion.

It's one of these things that has to be decided by the individual.

DarkAlucard
September 4th, 2011, 12:01 PM
I think more than if it is acceptable or not, you should see what everyone thinks about this. From me to do something like that would be impossible my cousins ​​are like my brothers and never cross my mind falling in love or have some kind of relationship with any of them.

xelarator
September 4th, 2011, 02:28 PM
Lets see, can you 'date' your cousin? Yes. But can you date your cousin's cousin?

22sa
September 4th, 2011, 02:43 PM
I accept

Don't see its relation to me.

I heard there's biological problems regarding the offspring of incest, but it's unimportant compared to love.

People have to happy, so they need those they love even if it's a related person.

Mr. X
September 4th, 2011, 10:58 PM
I heard there's biological problems regarding the offspring of incest, but it's unimportant compared to love.



Hey, lets have kids even though they will turn out deformed and mentally challenged! It doesn't matter how many things are wrong with our kids because we love each other right?

*facedesk*

I don't have anything agesnt dating/sexing your cousins, but still... Your statement is numerous kinds of wrong.

PokéSwimmer
September 4th, 2011, 11:41 PM
I kinda like pushing genetic diversity, so, in my book, it's totally unacceptable to date one's cousin. I honestly don't have a problem with other people doing it though, as long as they understand the risks of taking that relationship to the next level. I would be lying if I said I wouldn't think less of someone if they did, but I wouldn't interfere unless it was a good friend or family member that was going to do this.

Also,
Vendak made the point that I was thinking about when I first saw this thread. The only real reason for having marriage of cousins, etc. illegal is due to the genes and possible deformities. But, look at someone with a genetic disease that has a 50/50 chance of being passed on or something like that. Do we make it illegal for them to marry and have children? Why are the cousins any different?


People with genetic diseases bear the risk of passing them on regardless of who they reproduce with. Cousins, however, do not bear the same risk. They can simply marry other people and avoid the risk of genetic deformaties. People born with genetic diseases do not have that choice.

Gold warehouse
September 5th, 2011, 02:07 AM
People with genetic diseases bear the risk of passing them on regardless of who they reproduce with. Cousins, however, do not bear the same risk. They can simply marry other people and avoid the risk of genetic deformaties. People born with genetic diseases do not have that choice.
So there's someone who is planning on having children with their partner, who carries a genetic disease, would you say
"Oh, your partner has a genetic disease! don't have kids with him/her, you have a choice to go and have kids with someone else that's healthy, go and do that instead, who cares about love!"

It's not even like it's certain the children are going to have issues. Everyone acts like if cousins have kids it's going to create a goddamn Shrek look-alike that can't do anything but blow spit bubbles.

Ice Car
September 5th, 2011, 03:37 AM
I honestly have no problem with people to go out with whoever, whether it be with someone related, someone of the same gender, or whatever. Whatever goes on between them, I have no business in. I have no right to tell them they are wrong for doing so, nor do I believe it is wrong.

In fact, I don't even see what's so wrong about incest at all. It's not like people haven't done it in the past, it's natural. The only reason it's bad is because society makes it out to be, for no real reason at all.

Hell, if, say, I got along really well with, say, a sister or something, assuming I had one, I would go out with her if she also agreed. As in, being really close. If people ask and I tell them, I would just tell them to **** off and stop trying to impose their own views on us like it matters, and who gives a ****?

2Cool4Mewtwo
September 5th, 2011, 05:59 PM
The feeling of "dating" my cousin sounds extremely weird O_o... it's not wrong though, IMO.

aruchan
September 5th, 2011, 07:31 PM
Genetically? It depends how close you are. Morally? As long as you don't have children, I don't see any moral reason not to. My opinion? I don't really support it, but I've seen and heard cases of first cousins marrying.

twocows
September 5th, 2011, 08:50 PM
To each his own. There's zero question if they don't plan to have children. If they do, I still don't see a problem with it. I'm not a supporter of eugenics, so I do not think people should be prohibited from having children for genetic reasons even if the research showed a statistically significant link (and for the record, 1950s pseudo-science doesn't qualify).

Incest is a cultural oddity and not something I'm really comfortable hearing about, but I really don't care what people do behind closed doors so long as nobody's getting hurt or taken advantage of.

22sa
September 5th, 2011, 09:45 PM
Hey, lets have kids even though they will turn out deformed and mentally challenged! It doesn't matter how many things are wrong with our kids because we love each other right?

*facedesk*

I don't have anything agesnt dating/sexing your cousins, but still... Your statement is numerous kinds of wrong.
I mean, the chances of this are there, but still slim right? (I don't know the percentage)

It's not guaranteed the children will have a bad life, but if you turn your back on love you're guaranteed .... well yeah. : D

Esper
September 6th, 2011, 08:58 AM
There are several good reasons why any two given people shouldn't date and most of them deal with gross inequalities between the two people. That's why parent-child incest is often a bad thing, because the parent is likely to have too much authority in the relationship and the child too little freedom, but with cousins I don't see this happening outside of some individual circumstances.

The big leap from dating -> having children is a little extreme, too. Not everyone is going to want children in the first place, there are tests to check for lots of genetic abnormalities if that's the parents' worry, and denying people something solely because of their genetics is not a direction we want to head in.

-ty-
September 6th, 2011, 09:52 AM
I really could care less if someone wanted to marry their third, second, or first cousin, although it's not for me.

The thing that is tricky about the offspring issue is that short-term in-breeding and long-term in-breeding yield much different results. Also, how close is the cousin genetically.

More recent studies have shown a "slight" increase in venerability to inbreeding depending on how much blood percentage is shared. Like Scarf said, parent/children and siblings are not very good relationships, and have a much higher percentage for birth defects with about 25%.

Although I am not going to scream my support for first cousins to have children, I do not think that the risks are great enough for a right out ban like they should be for parent/child and sibling inbreeding. There is a 2-3 percent chance for non-related individuals of giving birth to a child with birth defects. There is about a 6 percent chance that first cousins will have birth defects. Although I would not recommend having children, I don't think it constitutes a ban. However, when we talk about anything closer than first cousins, like uncles, parents, children and siblings, the risks are great enough to be considered an unnecessary threat to the child's auto-immune system and cognitive/physical health, and I think that like smoking or drinking alcohol while pregnant, the act should be illegal. Sadly, most state, (not sure about other countries) allow women to drink and smoke as much as they would like during pregnancy.

Melody
September 16th, 2011, 09:09 AM
I don't shun it, but I don't have any cousins I like that well anyway. Not to mention none of us would try it willingly if we knew we were cousins. So meh.

Genetically speaking:
The more distant the cousin, the more OK it is.
First and Second Cousin pairings should ideally consult a doctor before bearing children, just to evaluate the risks...but there's no need to forbid it if both like each other.
Third and beyond need not worry; unless the family has a history of genetic disorders which are deforming or dangerous.

Discouraging brother/sister couplings makes sense because the risk increase is greater but I believe that if both grow up together and stick together for that long...no need to forbid it if they're not bearing children.

Kura
September 16th, 2011, 11:42 AM
To me it's still immediate family.. so I personally think no; it's not ok.

Guy
September 20th, 2011, 10:11 AM
I'm not going to tell someone, "Dude, you can't date your cousin!" but I won't say that I find it okay for them to do so. Honestly speaking, it's just the thought that dating someone from your family puts me off about it. Probably if this cousin became part of the family through marriage and not by blood, it'd be a bit easier to wrap my mind around, but otherwise, I just personally find it a bit weird.

To make what I just said a bit more clear, when I refer to dating in this case, I mean by being physically involved with said cousin. Using your cousin as a date, but not having any sort of intimate feelings toward them, I can say I've seen been done before and am okay with. It's just the other thought that I can't really seem to find absolutely right; to each their own I guess.