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View Full Version : can attraction exceed physicality?


Liam Crawford
September 26th, 2011, 08:14 AM
This topic serves as a juxtaposition between being a simple answer and , yet, a hard answer. The basic question is whether attraction with another person, upon previous interaction, can exceed the physical aspects of that said person? Are generally attractive people bound to end up together or it can go beyond the looks and appearances of the two persons? Can a deep personality however complementing a rather mediocre look 'pull/attract beautiful people'?

I know the wording in the questions is a little off.

Patchisou Yutohru
September 26th, 2011, 08:18 AM
i'm more attracted to someone's personality than i am their looks, and i see attractive people with not so attractive people all the time over here, so yes. but beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. what i find to be attractive isn't what the person next to me finds attractive, or the person next to them, or the person next to them, and so on and so forth.

if you're adorkable (example: girl from new girl), quirky, a little awkard mixed with good self confidence, i fall for you easily and hard.

Yoshikkko
September 26th, 2011, 08:21 AM
If you mean whether it's possible for someone to fall for a person that's not necessarily very pretty, but has a nice personality, then of course. I come across a lot of people that are not unattractive, but aren't very good looking either, but I still find myself attracted to them sometimes because of their personality. Charisma is also a thing that plays a big role in that, it has nothing to do with the exterior really.

Oryx
September 26th, 2011, 08:22 AM
Your question is really, really confusing, lol. But I'm going to answer it as if the question is "can your emotional attraction to someone override the fact that you're not physically attracted?"

I'm going to have to say that it depends. Of course, everyone is shallow to an extent, 99% of us wouldn't be able to imagine dating someone with a major physical deformity for example, or one of the people who weighed ~700 lbs. But I would definitely say that I put more stock in personality than in looks. For me, physical attraction has a lot to do with my mental attraction. As long as they don't actively repulse me, looks don't really matter beyond that. I used to try to think of my favorite types of guys as far as looks, and although I still can now, I still find my boyfriend very attractive even though he doesn't meet those criteria, which shows how much I really care about them, lol.

I know a lot of people say that but it really is true. ;_;

Melody
September 26th, 2011, 08:27 AM
It's not just looks that defines the person. It's personality as well, and I do believe that attraction can and DOES transcend the physical world. Otherwise average looking people wouldn't stand a snowball's chance in hell when someone more attractive walked by.

As Pachisou said, there are personality traits that one can fall hard for, and this does vary from person to person, as does the value of one's looks. Being actively repulsive actually takes work or serious self-neglect and few have that going on so, it's hard to avoid the fact that personality really DOES close the gap most of the time.

Chikara
September 26th, 2011, 08:32 AM
I think it's wrong to say looks have absolutely nothing to do with it. They don't have EVERYTHING to do with it, but it certainly is a huge factor in the dating game.

FOR EXAMPLE, my boyfriend approached me first because I looked like a party girl(he said that idek, I don't know how he thought that but ok). I ended up just being the most chillaxed girl he's ever met, and he likes that about me. THAT'S the reason we're dating. I was approached for looks, but liked for my personality.

HOWEVER LMFAO... I have seen, more often than not, relationships that start over looks, continue over looks, and end over personality. It's sad ):


For me though, I like personality a bit more than looks. Though they're kind of really really ridiculously close.

Shiny Celebi
September 26th, 2011, 10:37 AM
Looks arent everything. I think that if someone's personalit were really great, but they werent nessesarily very attractive, I might be able to overlook that and fall for them if their personality were that great. That being said even if the person were really attractive physically, if they treated me like crap it would never be worth it.

Sydian
September 26th, 2011, 12:05 PM
If I like someone's personality, chances are the personality will shine through their looks and though they may not be the most attractive person in others' views, they will be gorgeous in my eyes because I know who they really are. Does that get it answered? did it even make sense

Patatas Fritas
September 26th, 2011, 01:28 PM
Looks are a trigger of course. No one can honestly say that looks wouldn't be the first thing that draws them to a person but it's definitely plausible to say that personality is generally going to play a bigger part in the long run unless you're ridiculously shallow...

It's not just looks that defines the person. It's personality as well, and I do believe that attraction can and DOES transcend the physical world. Otherwise average looking people wouldn't stand a snowball's chance in hell when someone more attractive walked by.

This basically.

Avey
September 29th, 2011, 09:22 AM
a). um. hello pc. i'm a male who's not trying to look like a - nice guy - in front of the ladies so let me deliver the dark biological truth that every guy who's hit puberty thinks: looks first, personality secondary. and by secondary this means if the girl isn't at least 8/10. if she's a quality bird then who cares what she's like? and when they say personality, we really mean 'is she annoying or tolerable? i can put up with her? works for me!' this is the blunt truth. it's because of evolution - males fought over the best of the females, which were distinguished by their nice bodies. a nice body means a nice offspring.

b). for women, the attraction is actually based a lot on confidence and personality because the guy who paired up with her had to be the guy who'd be likely to stay with her and help her raise the child.

if your answer isn't a for a boy and b for a girl and you're one of the aforementioned genders, you're lying.

Gold warehouse
September 29th, 2011, 01:28 PM
a). um. hello pc. i'm a male who's not trying to look like a - nice guy - in front of the ladies so let me deliver the dark biological truth that every guy who's hit puberty thinks: looks first, personality secondary. and by secondary this means if the girl isn't at least 8/10. if she's a quality bird then who cares what she's like? and when they say personality, we really mean 'is she annoying or tolerable? i can put up with her? works for me!' this is the blunt truth. it's because of evolution - males fought over the best of the females, which were distinguished by their nice bodies. a nice body means a nice offspring.

b). for women, the attraction is actually based a lot on confidence and personality because the guy who paired up with her had to be the guy who'd be likely to stay with her and help her raise the child.

if your answer isn't a for a boy and b for a girl and you're one of the aforementioned genders, you're lying.
"And that was a lesson on outdated ideas that are wrong. Next up, why eugenics is the way forward."

abnegation
September 29th, 2011, 01:34 PM
If you're attracted to someone, you're attracted to someone. If you don't play the field a bit you're always going to chase that "quality bird". In terms of looking for a one night stand for example, I can see how looks would be the only thing that matters. But when it comes to actually looking for a relationship that you want to last for longer than a month; you're going to want to find someone who shares your interests. Because there's more to a relationship than just sex.