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Zet
October 17th, 2011, 06:03 PM
source (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/17/jamie-hubley-commits-suicide_n_1015646.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cbabylon%7Cdl1%7Csec1_lnk2%7C104998#s415593)

Jamie Hubley, a gay 15-year-old from Ottawa, Canada, committed suicide on Friday.

The 10th grade student documented his life, including his depression and the hardships of being a gay teen, in a blog, reports the Ottawa Citizen.

The blog, called "You Can't Break... When You're Already Broken" featured posts with numerous references to and photos of self harm and cutting, pictures of guys kissing and mentions of wanting a boyfriend, and bleak, ominous messages like "Sometimes I wish the breeze would just take me with it," "The only thing worse than being hated is being ignored. At least when they hate you they treat you like you exist," and "Suicides is always an option."

Other posts revealed how difficult school was for Hubley:

"I hate being the only open gay guy in my school… It f***ing sucks, I really want to end it. Like all of it, I not getting better theres 3 more years of highschool left, Iv been on 4 different anti -depressants, none of them worked. I’v been depressed since january, How f***ing long is this going to last. People said “It gets better”. Its f***ing bull****. I go to see psychologist, What the f*** are they suppost to f***ing do? All I do is talk about problems, it doesnt make them dissapear?? I give up."

His last post, which he wrote on Friday, paints a heartbreaking portrait of a boy looking for -- and ultimately unable to find -- acceptance:

Im a casualty of love.

Well, Im tired of life really. Its so hard, Im sorry, I cant take it anymore.

First Id like to mention my friends Nancy, Abby, Colleen, jemma, and Kasia

Being sad is sad : /. I’v been like this for way to long. I cant stand school, I cant stand earth, I cant stand society, I cant stand the scars on my arms, I cant f***ing stand any f***ing thing.

I dont want my parents to think this is their fault either… I love my mom and dad : ) Its just too hard. I dont want to wait 3 more years, this hurts too much. How do you even know It will get better? Its not.

I hit rock f***ing bottom, fell through a crack, now im stuck.

My favorite singers were lady gaga , Adele , Katy perry, and Jessie james, Christina aguilara and most of all I think KASIA!!! I LOVED Singing, and she helped me a lot : ) Im not that good at it though :”/, Im going to miss you guys
(well You know who you are, But to the people who didnt like me (many) A big f*** you, Go ride a unicorn. But w/e I love you anyway.)

Remember me as a Unicorn :3 x) MAybe in my next life Il be a flying squirreel :D

Il fly away.

"From the outside, he looked like the happiest kid. He was always smiling and giving everybody hugs in the halls,” said Steph Wheeler, a close friend of Hubley's.

"I just remember him wanting a boyfriend so bad, he’d always ask me to find a boy for him. I think he wanted someone to love him for who he was,” she said.

A Facebook page dedicated to Hubley has been set up and students are planning a memorial performance in his honor.

Hubley's death comes just weeks after American teen Jamey Rodemeyer committed suicide after being bullied for being gay.

While many, including Lady Gaga who has called for bullying to be made illegal and Dan Savage who began the It Gets Better campaign, are working to help gay teens, sadly, it's obvious there remains much work to be done.

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or visit stopbullying.gov. You can also visit The Trevor Project or call them at 866-488-7386.Another sad story that brought tears to my eyes. I wish he found someone :(

Sydian
October 17th, 2011, 06:11 PM
Il fly away.

Ahhh this got me right here...

"Some glad morning when this life is o'er, I'll fly away, to a home on God's celestial shore, I'll fly away."

I hate stories like this. It's so sad that he seemed so helpless with it too...and he had no one, it seems. Unfortunately, those that are depressed seem to hide it well, in regards to him seeming like a happy person. We don't always know what really haunts someone's mind. It's terrible that this happened. RIP Jamie. <3 :(

Sodom
October 17th, 2011, 06:25 PM
This is what scares me more than anything about depression. I've heard so many stories like this, where the people who you'd least suspect to commit suicide are the ones that end up doing just that. It makes you think that anyone could be hiding some dark turmoil and be taken from you at any moment. This is why whenever anybody shows me the slightest hint that they might be unhappy, I always ask "Are you OK?" It's all I can think to do.

The "I'll fly away" line didn't get me until Sydian posted that :(

R.I.P Jamie, I hope that wherever you are, you've found what you were looking for.

Sydian
October 17th, 2011, 06:30 PM
This is what scares me more than anything about depression. I've heard so many stories like this, where the people who you'd least suspect to commit suicide are the ones that end up doing just that. It makes you think that anyone could be hiding some dark turmoil and be taken from you at any moment. This is why whenever anybody shows me the slightest hint that they might be unhappy, I always ask "Are you OK?" It's all I can think to do.

Maybe it's just me, but I think that depression is at its worst when someone has just had it for so long it just doesn't show (or even any amount of time without showing is bad). They've learned how to hide it, and that's just not the thing to do. At least when someone is obviously depressed, you can see it, and you know you can go in and help. But when someone seems happy, bright, and optimistic, but deep down they're depressed, then yeah. The condition has overstayed its welcome.

-Jared-
October 17th, 2011, 06:54 PM
Oh god, we don't need any more of these stories. ;___; I mean it, this breaks my heart, both as a gay man, and as a friend to a (formerly, and thankfully alive) suicidal person. Everything he wrote sounds so familiar to me, and I can only wish he had more people to support him. ;-; My prayers go out to his family and friends.

FreakyLocz14
October 17th, 2011, 09:56 PM
My friend used to be suicidal. He never actually did it (that I know of; we've lost touch). He mostly used to cut.

Esper
October 18th, 2011, 09:57 AM
I wonder if his blog where he mentions self-harm was a long term thing or a something new he started. Like, I'm wondering if there were signs that his behavior had changed or if it was a long-standing depression. But it said he talked with a psychologist and was on antidepressants so at least someone knew he was having trouble and was trying to help him. That's the silver light I'm seeing in this story: although it wasn't enough, he was still getting help.

femtrooper
October 18th, 2011, 10:02 AM
Yeah, this is incredibly sad. I hate reading stories like this mostly because of the bullying and how I hate it so much, but also because it is so sad that these kids think that killing themselves is the only way out. Life must be pretty ****** if your only resort is suicide. It bothers me so much because there are so many outlets to go to like free counseling, talking to anyone, people on the internet, and most of all, it gets better. I love that campaign because it's so true. Being 15 sucks for anyone, and omg, it gets better. Being 18 is better, then being 20 is better and so on. It really does get better because kids mature and then even if you are bullied, once school is done, you can move on with your life. This is why I find it so sad to hear of kids committing suicide at such a young age. They need to know that things are going to be okay!

marz
October 18th, 2011, 10:13 AM
This is sad, but suicide is the easy way out. He was in his freshman year of high school, he had a ton of maturing to do. High School is hard on everybody.

Oryx
October 18th, 2011, 10:18 AM
This is sad, but suicide is the easy way out. He was in his freshman year of high school, he had a ton of maturing to do. High School is hard on everybody.

Not in the same way, unfortunately. A lot of the things that makes things hard in high school are overshadowed by the social aspect, which he felt he didn't have and was completely alone. It's terrible that he did that, I wouldn't go so far as to say "high school is hard on everybody" as if you're implying that his high school experience was the same as everyone else's.

FreakyLocz14
October 18th, 2011, 11:01 AM
I wonder if his blog where he mentions self-harm was a long term thing or a something new he started. Like, I'm wondering if there were signs that his behavior had changed or if it was a long-standing depression. But it said he talked with a psychologist and was on antidepressants so at least someone knew he was having trouble and was trying to help him. That's the silver light I'm seeing in this story: although it wasn't enough, he was still getting help.

The parents should have done something like pull him out of school and sue the parents of the kids responsible, as well as the school district if they knew of the bullying and did nithing to intervene. Taking him to therapists won't solve anything. All therapists are are people you pay a lot of money to listen to your problems for an hour a week. They don't solve anything.

Alinthea
October 18th, 2011, 11:10 AM
This kid has some issues, excessive swearing?
Look, this is a shame, it always is when a teen takes their life, but what I don't understand is how he can CERTAINLY KNOW he is gay at 15.

I never understood this frame of mind, while I can understand some people might realise this from an early age, but everyone has thoughts and goes through some form of thoughts about being gay.

Normally, I am sympathetic, and I still am, but from reading that entry, I just think he was an angry person, end of.

Sydian
October 18th, 2011, 11:19 AM
This kid has some issues, excessive swearing?
Look, this is a shame, it always is when a teen takes their life, but what I don't understand is how he can CERTAINLY KNOW he is gay at 15.

I never understood this frame of mind, while I can understand some people might realise this from an early age, but everyone has thoughts and goes through some form of thoughts about being gay.

Normally, I am sympathetic, and I still am, but from reading that entry, I just think he was an angry person, end of.

And some realize it and accept it earlier than others. I don't understand why you feel the need to chastise him for knowing that he's gay of all things. 15 is a normal age to figure that out, least it seems to be for people I've known.

marz
October 18th, 2011, 11:22 AM
Not in the same way, unfortunately. A lot of the things that makes things hard in high school are overshadowed by the social aspect, which he felt he didn't have and was completely alone. It's terrible that he did that, I wouldn't go so far as to say "high school is hard on everybody" as if you're implying that his high school experience was the same as everyone else's.

The feeling of being completely alone is exactly that: a social aspect. Secondly, in the article we see someone saying that Jamie was always asking them to find him a boyfriend. Unless he went around asking random people to find him a boyfriend, it sounds to me like he had at least one good friend. If he took more appreciation in that friendship, he might have made it through. Furthermore, he had the complete wrong attitude towards his psychotherapist. For 2 years of my life I went to see a psychotherapist and believe it helped me drastically. He could've also looked to his parents for comfort. I'm not bashing the guy for not knowing how to handle the stress of life, but suicide is simply the easy way out. With age and maturity, what he so firmly disbelieved, that it gets better, is actually true.

High school is definitely not the same experience for everyone. But I know I had a terrible time in high school. My junior and senior years were tough as hell. Not academically, but socially. Everyone I've spoken to regarding high school have said it was not fun for them either. I'm sure some may have thought it was the time of their life but I think most don't.

Drew
October 18th, 2011, 12:13 PM
Auugh, man.. I just read through some of his blog, because I was trying to go far enough in to find some happy posts. They were quite a few pages back, but were still mixed with so many suicide messages. :/ There are some people who've said that high school is hard, and bullying sucks but you can get through it, and that.. really depends on the person. Some people can't get through it, and depression at that level is often something that takes a long time to fix. When you're that down nothing really matters anymore, and it sucks that he didn't hang on because he was only 15. Likely if he would've told his parents, really told his parents, what he was going through they probably would've worked with him as far getting through school, or taking a break from it.

Not that it matters at this point with what happened, but it's pretty shattering when someone that young takes their life. It's amazing to me how some kids who are barely past 13 can feel such deep negativity. Bullying makes me sick. Any type of bullying is wrong, but I feel so bad that he was basically destroyed just because he was in love with another guy, and / or was openly gay. That took bravery on his part, to come out at all, and it ended up taking his life. Ugh. How sad. ; ;


Just thinking out loud, not much debating going on in this post.

Edit: Just I started browsing that blog, Dr. Phil started up and it's about teen suicide and bullying. D; How saaad.. :/

Chikara
October 18th, 2011, 12:17 PM
"The only thing worse than being hated is being ignored. At least when they hate you they treat you like you exist,"

This is when I started tearing up.

But what Penetrait said isn't exactly wrong either. He did have a lot more maturing to do. 10th grade is around the time when kids get stubborn and don't want help with their problems. I'm assuming that's why he thought talking to a psychiatrist about it wasn't going to help him in any way. I was like that when I went to one, and I was around that age. I didn't want to talk, because that stranger wouldn't understand.

The fact that he didn't hold on long enough to see things improve is the most upsetting part. I didn't see anything saying he had gotten bullied, it just seems to me like he was depressed and done with life ):

femtrooper
October 18th, 2011, 01:11 PM
This kid has some issues, excessive swearing?
Look, this is a shame, it always is when a teen takes their life, but what I don't understand is how he can CERTAINLY KNOW he is gay at 15.

I never understood this frame of mind, while I can understand some people might realise this from an early age, but everyone has thoughts and goes through some form of thoughts about being gay.

Normally, I am sympathetic, and I still am, but from reading that entry, I just think he was an angry person, end of.

Personally, I have never ever gone through thoughts of contemplating my sexual orientation, however, why wouldn't he know he was gay at 15? I certainly knew that I was heterosexual at 15. Actually, I'd say by 1st grade that I knew I was straight (not in those terms, I just knew I liked boys). I started dating my boyfriend of 7 years at age 15...it's not like I was like, Ummm, well, I might be gay, well, not sure. People know if they're gay or not, or straight or not. Well, I do not agree with his decision to kill himself, people know what their sexual orientation is by 15 and well before.

Drew
October 18th, 2011, 01:22 PM
but what I don't understand is how he can CERTAINLY KNOW he is gay at 15.

For some guys any sort of sex drive can kick in as early as age 11 or 12, so from that point on you'd start questioning things related to that. So Jamie probably had a few years to figure out what he was as far as his orientation goes. Plenty of people who are 13, 14, etc develop crushes. Crushes or falling in love for the first time is normal when you're around that age, and if you can fall for someone, then you'd definitely have to have picked up on whether you were straight or gay to get that far in the first place.

(=Nemesis=)
October 18th, 2011, 02:30 PM
Much as I hate to be the Voice of Negativity, people commit suicide surprisingly often, and threaten it even more often. This isn't a notable case. I just wonder why it's the subject of a topic here. He isn't even notable for Gay+Suicide. Reading what he said, it sounds like he's more a victim of Hollywood Logic than anything else in particular. Seriously the only social values kids get out of movies these days is that being popular and attractive will make you a special special person who deserves nothing but the world on a silver platter. That you're so wrapped up in your own identity that everyone you meet should like you regardless of what it is you actually do. That's not how the world works, and this kid's parents should have sorted that out with him while they still had the chance to.

Sorry if this is coming off as overly harsh. But if you ask me, throwing away the gift of life in an attempt to find relief ranks quite highly in the list of Most Ill-Conceived Things You Could Do.

Alley Cat
October 18th, 2011, 06:28 PM
This is a real sad story. But I'm tired of hearing about this crap. What is with everyone(and mostly gays as it seems to be) that makes them just give up the moment the going gets tough? He didn't even have it that bad to be honest.

This is what bugs me:
"I hate being the only open gay guy in my school…Highschool isn't all of life. Someone will come. I'm the only openly gay in my highschool too. Yeah, it sucks pretty damn bad. But you know what? I'm going to push through until I do find that amazing enough guy. It f***ing sucks, I really want to end it. Like all of it, I not getting better theres 3 more years of highschool left, [b][color=red]Well, there's his problem. He's too negative. How can he get better when he is always doubting his life? Iv been on 4 different anti -depressants, none of them worked. I’v been depressed since january, How f***ing long is this going to last. People said “It gets better”. Its f***ing bull****. It does get better, but not with that attitude. It won't just magically transform into a better life, you have to change the things you don't like. I go to see psychologist, What the f*** are they suppost to f***ing do? All I do is talk about problems, it doesnt make them dissapear?? Well, obviously they don't make the problems go away. The just help you react and handle them better. Everyone has problems, you can't just expect them to all disappear. AND, just because you have problems, doesn't mean that your life isn't good. I give up.

From what he seemed to describe, I'm in the same boat as him. Except for the fact that I haven't resorted to meds, and that I actually am trying to stay positive and enjoy life. That's all that it comes down to. You can't control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to everything that happens to you. It's about time people learn to stand on their own two feet again.

Now... to move onto my disgust with the media: Him being gay doesn't have anything to do with his suicide. The article portrayed as if he took his life because he couldn't find love, and didn't agree with society. It didn't really mention that he had any form of great torment, which would make that fact irrelevant. It seems the media feels they have to report on him just because he is gay.

Sydian
October 18th, 2011, 06:34 PM
Now... to move onto my disgust with the media: Him being gay doesn't have anything to do with his suicide. The article portrayed as if he took his life because he couldn't find love, and didn't agree with society. It didn't really mention that he had any form of great torment, which would make that fact irrelevant. It seems the media feels they have to report on him just because he is gay.

I wondered this myself. Nothing in there was really about him being gay. The closest it got to that was that he wanted a boyfriend, but I mean, straight or gay, there are a lot of people that want a bf/gf. So yeah. The part about him being gay really isn't the kicker here. The depression seemed to get him, not anything pertaining to his sexuality.

Mr. X
October 18th, 2011, 07:09 PM
So what. Another person off's themselves.

Happens numerous times, every day.

Only reason this was reported was because he was supposedly gay. Know why? Because that gets the views which for news groups means profit.

imo, not news worthy.

Know what is though? The fact that their are numerous gay teens who haven't killed themselves. That there are numerous teens who, unlike this waste of carbon, continue on through life no matter how hard things get. Those are the ones who deserve respect. This one, sad his circumstances were, is not deserving of anything.

There is only a couple of times where suicide is a solution, and this isn't one of them.

(=Nemesis=)
October 19th, 2011, 03:09 AM
<snip>
There are numerous teens who, unlike this waste of carbon, continue on through life no matter how hard things get. Those are the ones who deserve respect. This one, sad his circumstances were, is not deserving of anything.

There is only a couple of times where suicide is a solution, and this isn't one of them.

Hey, I thought I was being a little harsh but... just because you hear about someone acting stupidly doesn't give you carte blanche to judge their total worth.

Also... hold on, doesn't being a "waste of carbon" constitute a perfect reason for suicide? You aren't even making internal logic.

Mr. X
October 19th, 2011, 03:38 AM
It doesn't matter what he is worth. When he commits suicide, his previous worth has no matter. After all, if he doesn't care about his worth then why should I?

I call him a waste because of the effort his parents put into raising him, only for him to off himself. I'd list a few other things, but I don't feel like making myself seem like a complete *******.

Their are some topics that I can't talk about without getting harsh. Suicide is one of them.

(Ment to put this in previous post but decided on something else. Guess i'll post it now)
Anyway, you know what good this story is? You'll have depressed and/or gay teens who read this. Some of them will feel that no one cares of them. Some of the comments, like rip *insert name here* hope you find the peace you were looking for, will lead them to believe that more people will notice them if they kill themselves. Then that drives them to kill themselves.

Sodom
October 19th, 2011, 05:16 AM
Oh dear Mr. X, whatever will we do with you?

If any gay suicidal teens read this I would certainly hope that wishes of them finding peace after the fact of their death will not be taken as an advocation to follow in their footsteps. Indeed, I believe comments such as "so what? another teen kid has offed himself" are the ones that will be damaging to their self-worth. The fact that he is gay may well be why this is being publicised. So what? Does it make it less worth reporting? No. I've heard tons of teen bullying suicide stories that have not been LGBT related. This one happens to be.

Clearly from your comments you have no understanding of depression or how it affects the mind. Having never experienced depression, I do not either, which is why I would never attempt to judge Jamie or any other teen for having killed themselves after the fact. Until you have even a baseline level of understanding as to what he was going through, you have no right to make these insensitive and heartless comments. Shame on you.

Mr. X
October 19th, 2011, 06:37 AM
If you are going to use my words against me, don't modify them. I said person, not teen or kid.

Anyway, I have a right to my opinion just as you do. They might not be the same, but thats ok because we are diffrent and have been raised with diffrent ideals.

As for understanding, I used to understand. That understanding is what lead to me having such heartless views on this particular subject.

Anyway, as for the finding peace part and how my views are coming across. My comments express hatred to suicide, not the reasons. That said, I think it better that a person finds peace in life rather then death.

Esper
October 19th, 2011, 09:34 AM
Mr. X, I just hope you realize that when someone is seriously contemplating/attempting suicide (and isn't suffering from some long, painful and incurable disease or something along those lines) that they are suffering from a mental illness. Their thinking is impaired. Depression does that to you. I would hope that you (or anyone) would have some sympathy for them.

As for the idea that publicizing teen suicides might encourage others to all do it for attention, I don't think it will. I can't discount the possibility because when when you're at that point where you think suicide is an option you aren't thinking clearly, but every time I read about another person committing suicide it mentions the pain it causes people and how much people wish it hadn't happened and how awful it is.

Making these things known will help because people who have friends and family members who might be suicidal might learn something or take that extra step toward helping. The knowledge of these unfortunate deaths will far outweigh any potential harm.

2Cool4Mewtwo
October 19th, 2011, 01:11 PM
I agree with Mr. X. to an extent in this situation, but then I'm not going to call him worthless and "waste of oxygen" nor will I ever think so (though I will contend that it's not worthy of a national news). It's a sad story, but sad only because these things happen too often, not just because the guy committed suicide. (there are deeper concerns, but I'm not getting into it)

It may have a positive effect on someone in a similar situation, but I've never been depressed in my life so only God knows.

[EDIT] Looking from a bullying perspective, it is another whole issue that I will not be getting into.

-ty-
October 21st, 2011, 09:30 AM
I agree with Mr. X. to an extent in this situation, but then I'm not going to call him worthless and "waste of oxygen" nor will I ever think so (though I will contend that it's not worthy of a national news). It's a sad story, but sad only because these things happen too often, not just because the guy committed suicide. (there are deeper concerns, but I'm not getting into it)

It may have a positive effect on someone in a similar situation, but I've never been depressed in my life so only God knows.

[EDIT] Looking from a bullying perspective, it is another whole issue that I will not be getting into.


I think that there is a problem here because this type of thing happens so often. I am glad that the media has chosen not to ignore the frequent gay teen suicides that were instigated by bullying. It makes us more aware of the severity of the situation; it's not something that happens once in a blue moon, but rather, it something that is happening quite frequently.

Also, people do not choose to kill themselves on a whim, they have a chemical imbalance.
"According to a 2004 report distributed by the National Institute of Mental Health, research shows that risk factors for suicide include depression and other mental disorders, and substance-abuse disorders (often in combination with other mental disorders). More than 90 percent of people who die by suicide have these risk factors. Examples of stressors are, family violence, sexual orientation confusion, physical and sexual abuse and being the victim of bullying." (American Psychological Association)

You cannot choose to have a mental disorder or depression, nor can you choose to be bullied or not.

As mandatory reporters, when there is family violence, the school/government required by LAW to step in and protect the child. When there is physical/sexual abuse the school/government is required by LAW to step in and protect the child. When there is gay bullying, the school/government does NOT have to deal with the issue; therefore, no one is there to help at least combat the stressors of bullying.

Blue Nocturne
October 21st, 2011, 09:33 AM
Alley Cat hit the nail square on the head for me. I have sympathy for most cases of teen suicide, but I have little to none for this guy.

To my knowledge, I'm the only non-heterosexual guy in my school, I'm certainly the only one who's open about it, because I would almost certainly have been shipped by now (having said that, I haven't even met a lot of the other new Sixth Formers). For at least two years I've dealt with homophobia, crushes that could never be anything else and a little harassment here and there (2x the time he's suffered, but who's counting?!). Unlike this guy, I've never gone to anti-depressants, therapists or whatever. It's sad he's managed to fall into such a steep depression cycle, but with the attitude he seemed to have, he brought it on himself.

-ty-
October 21st, 2011, 09:43 AM
Alley Cat hit the nail square on the head for me. I have sympathy for most cases of teen suicide, but I have little to none for this guy.

To my knowledge, I'm the only non-heterosexual guy in my school, I'm certainly the only one who's open about it, because I would almost certainly have been shipped by now (having said that, I haven't even met a lot of the other new Sixth Formers). For at least two years I've dealt with homophobia, crushes that could never be anything else and a little harassment here and there (2x the time he's suffered, but who's counting?!). Unlike this guy, I've never gone to anti-depressants, therapists or whatever. It's sad he's managed to fall into such a steep depression cycle, but with the attitude he seemed to have, he brought it on himself.

So because you didn't commit suicide, anyone else that does should not have sympathy. Obviously this happens often, you and myself do not know the full circumstances of the kid's situation. Someone like you may not have suffered from depression or mental illness because of different situations, upbringing, or genetics, but that doesn't mean that someone else has not suffered those ailments along with the stressors of bullying in which you may have undergone. His "bad attitude" is blatantly a symptom of the depression he suffered, and again, no one chooses to be depressed.

Livewire
October 21st, 2011, 09:50 AM
Once again, I am shocked by the lack of empathy we have for other human beings, let alone other children. So charming.

Sydian
October 21st, 2011, 09:50 AM
To my knowledge, I'm the only non-heterosexual guy in my school, I'm certainly the only one who's open about it, because I would almost certainly have been shipped by now (having said that, I haven't even met a lot of the other new Sixth Formers). For at least two years I've dealt with homophobia, crushes that could never be anything else and a little harassment here and there (2x the time he's suffered, but who's counting?!). Unlike this guy, I've never gone to anti-depressants, therapists or whatever. It's sad he's managed to fall into such a steep depression cycle, but with the attitude he seemed to have, he brought it on himself.

Depression isn't just something you can slink out of. Depression, in a sense, is the bad attitude. It's hard to tell yourself "things are going to be okay" everyday, when deep down, you feel like you're just lying to yourself. So saying he brought it on himself is incorrect. That's like saying he decided one day that he wanted to have depression and it magically came to him. Such is not the case.

-Jared-
October 21st, 2011, 10:04 AM
If we are gonna get into depression here, maybe, just maybe, this'll help some people understand it.

http://i.imgur.com/pP3rO.jpg

Blue Nocturne
October 21st, 2011, 11:07 AM
Depression isn't just something you can slink out of. Depression, in a sense, is the bad attitude. It's hard to tell yourself "things are going to be okay" everyday, when deep down, you feel like you're just lying to yourself. So saying he brought it on himself is incorrect. That's like saying he decided one day that he wanted to have depression and it magically came to him. Such is not the case.

You can't just slink out of it, but similarly it's unlikely to just slink into it. From what I can tell, his depression seems to have been caused by bullying and harassment over a long period of time. He doesn't seem to have tried to resolve the problems when they started. To say he brought it on himself was, admittedly, quite cruel and a bad choice of words, but there's plenty of options and support for young gay teens. It's a shame he didn't find them.

-ty-
October 21st, 2011, 11:30 AM
You can't just slink out of it, but similarly it's unlikely to just slink into it. From what I can tell, his depression seems to have been caused by bullying and harassment over a long period of time. He doesn't seem to have tried to resolve the problems when they started. To say he brought it on himself was, admittedly, quite cruel and a bad choice of words, but there's plenty of options and support for young gay teens. It's a shame he didn't find them.

Depending on your family genetics, many people are prone to "slinking" into depression. That is even without the presence of stressors like bullying.

How do you know he hasn't tried to resolve the issue; how would he do so?

The school doesn't have to do anything about the bullying (stressors).
The antidepressants/therapy could not stop the chronic depression instigated by the stressors/genetics/family issues or the combination of these things.

What was he supposed to do? How do you force someone to stop verbally bullying you?

(=Nemesis=)
October 21st, 2011, 03:29 PM
You don't. You, in a sense, adjust your reality such that you can largely ignore being bullied. When I was at school it helped to compartmentalise being bullied as an unavoidable, unpleasant part of living with other humans. Without doing that, the fear and anticipation was becoming a problem.

And this guy thought that finding a boyfriend was going to solve all this? OK, so, dropping the gender-bending for a Common Sense Analogy, if I were a morbidly depressed 15 year old, finding a girlfriend would hardly solve anything. Being morbid and suicidal and relating it freely in an attempt to find sympathy would always backfire, for a start. Also it's inherently selfish. I want to find a girlfriend so that I can feel better. So that I can have someone to comfort me. I. Me. Me me me I mine. That's not how love works, sorry.

Alley Cat
October 21st, 2011, 04:58 PM
^ You have his intentions a bit wrong. He didn't want someone to comfort him. He was lonely, he never really got on a deep level with anyone. He was missing that connection, and that could be part of what drove him to sadness.

I just.. don't see why he would let people bother him. You have your life, live it however you want. He listed of more friends than I could, and I'm pretty sure that he said parents, with an s. I can see where his sadness is coming from, and I can feel his pain. It isn't that I'm condemning him for killing himself, I'm just tired of how people(in general) aren't strong enough to stand on their own.

Maybe it's just me... but my depression isn't extremely hard to get over. When I get sad and mopey, I get up and do stuff, get my mind off it. It get's hard, and then get's harder, and then when you're just about to give up, it gets easy again. You have the hang of it. This was a tragic loss, he could have lived for so much more. That is what makes this a sad topic. The fact that so many people these days are all just quitting when it gets too tough is just pissing me off! Urgh.

(=Nemesis=)
October 22nd, 2011, 12:18 AM
The fact that so many people these days are all just quitting when it gets too tough is just pissing me off! Urgh.

You said it, Chewie.

I do think, though, that if people thought less about themselves and their own problems, and instead tried to help other people through theirs, maybe there would be less to be miserable about... or at least, less time to be miserable in. Not necessarily a one-size-fits-all solution that can be scientifically proven. But for the vast majority of people who feel lonely or depressed...

... maybe it's because I get a kick out of cheering up the glum, that I say it? I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Mr. X
October 22nd, 2011, 02:06 PM
To say he brought it on himself was, admittedly, quite cruel and a bad choice of words, but there's plenty of options and support for young gay teens. It's a shame he didn't find them.

He didn't find them because he didn't attempt to find them.

Well, then again, he was more concerned about solutions near him. Had he truly wanted help, he would have looked out farther for it.

Sodom
October 22nd, 2011, 02:38 PM
I'm kinda disgusted with most of the people in this thread. It is so condescending for anyone to assume they know the first thing about what this specific boy was going through in his head, even if they have had depression themselves (which, by the comments I've read, I strongly suspect they have not). Everybody is different, every case is different, and to try and suggest that he could have looked further for help if he'd really wanted to live just makes my skin crawl.

Shame on all of you, how dare you disrespect his memory that way.



Also,

I do think, though, that if people thought less about themselves and their own problems, and instead tried to help other people through theirs, maybe there would be less to be miserable about...

Oh my god. Wow, I don't even. I just. don't. even.

Melody
October 22nd, 2011, 02:47 PM
I don't condone suicide.

I don't condone it because I know that nobody in their right mind would actually kill theirself. This does not mean I blame the ones who do commit suicide, because oftentimes they're not in the right state of mind. I encourage anyone who has suicidal thoughts to seek treatment for them...they're not natural.

With that being said, I realize that even the professionals fail sometimes to curb the depression enough to prevent suicide. It's not like you can put every depressed person on suicide watch 24/7.

In a sense yes, it's sad that someone commits suicide. It's fine for the media to mention these stories in passing from time to time to keep awareness up, but it's NOT COOL when they blow it out of proportions or use it to boost their ratings.

The main issue here is bullying, and it needs to stop. It needs to stop now. Ideally, there would be protesters at schools and places like that where people peacefully protest bullying, peacefully distribute materials against bullying and peacefully educate young people that bullying is not cool.

wcdaily
October 22nd, 2011, 04:38 PM
I've never been through depression so I can't really comment on it. Also, unlike what Mr. X I don't believe he is a waste of carbon or space, his decisions might influence people to try and put a stop to bullying, homophobia, etc or just enjoy their lifes and don't let these people get them, if he influenced or inspired several people is he really a waste of carbon?

This is a thought that been in my head for a while and I want to say, I want to be alive the day I can see a pride flag sitting next to my country's flag proudly, and people standing in front of it and not discriminating it, making fun of it, hating it, but smiling at it. I don't just want to see this happen in my country but every country out their on this planet! (The thought sounds a bit childish, I know, but it would be nice if that did happen someday.)

Mr. X
October 22nd, 2011, 05:06 PM
All I'll say about that is that if you believe death to be a effective catalyst for change, you are more disturbed then I am.

Alley Cat
October 22nd, 2011, 05:17 PM
You are right death is not an effective catalyst for change. But sometimes it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. He was worth something, you don't need to be so harsh. I understand where you are coming from, but people just want to be LISTENED TO and UNDERSTOOD. This "tough love" bravado doesn't work too well when it comes to suicidal people. He could have handled this a lot better, he could have gotten all the help he needed and overcame his depression. But he didn't. That doesn't make him worthless, everyone and everything has worth. I can feel your strong anti-suicide sentiments, but you might fight hate with love, my good sir.

Mr. X
October 22nd, 2011, 05:28 PM
And thats the point im trying to make.

He WAS worth something. But now that he has killed himself, he has no worth. After all, what good can a corpse do?

-ty-
October 22nd, 2011, 05:37 PM
In the last gay bullying thread I brought this up, but then the thread was closed because of flaming and homophobic remarks, but anyway, I think we can all agree that gay bullying, and bullying in general, is a major issue. Suicide is the third most common cause of death among teens next to homicide and driving accidents.

How can we help prevent teen suicide (in ways in which have not been explored)? How can we prevent gay teen suicide (in ways in which have not been explored) ? (the two answers may be the same)

Mr. X
October 22nd, 2011, 05:45 PM
The only way is to accept them for what they are, just people. Nothing special, just another person in the world. It matters not their race, sex, or sexual prefrence. In the end, they are all just people.

Alley Cat
October 22nd, 2011, 05:48 PM
Disrespect him for killing himself, hate on him for taking the easy way out. But do not denounce his worth, for he is and always will have worth. The memory of him, that's an important memory to people. Thus, he has worth.

Mr. X
October 22nd, 2011, 05:58 PM
As for his memory, I made my views on that subject very clear a few posts above.

Just breathing does not entitle you to being worth something. Its the actions that you do while breathing that give you worth. All we can judge his worth by is the fact that he killed himself. To me, that action is not worth anything. But if you consider suicide a worthwhile action, thats fine to.

FreakyLocz14
October 22nd, 2011, 08:03 PM
How can we help prevent teen suicide (in ways in which have not been explored)? How can we prevent gay teen suicide (in ways in which have not been explored) ?

The only real way is for people to accept that homosexuality is normal.

wcdaily
October 23rd, 2011, 06:37 AM
How can we help prevent teen suicide (in ways in which have not been explored)? How can we prevent gay teen suicide (in ways in which have not been explored) ?

The only real way is for people to accept that homosexuality is normal.Then you're ignoring the big picture, his questions aren't just about gay teen suicide it's about teen suicide in general, he's actually comparing the two questions. Unfortunately I don't believe his question can be easily answered with a solution that will work though.

Mr. X
October 23rd, 2011, 07:10 AM
The solution is easy to see. Sadly, there is no way that it can be implemented due to the flaws with humanity.

But, as for accepting it as normal (A solution of lesser scope then mine) that can never happen due to religion, and its hatred of homosexuality. I don't feel like going into my whole 'religion is crap' speech, but i'll say this. Religion has held back and is holding back numerous advancements that would be beneficial to humanity as a whole.