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aRedMoon
December 31st, 2004, 08:08 PM
PC A/N: Guess what? This is another song fic I've done. I liked it a lot, when I wrote it way back in April... yeah. So I think I'll go ahead and post it here. And yeah, warning, if you understand the implication, it's defiantly PG-13. If you don't get it... then oh well. Won't make that big of a difference. Enjoy the writings of a very depressed boy~


A/N: Well, here's another little songfic-y thing... it's written to "Toxic" by good ole Britney. And no, it's not referring to anyone in particular, just a general boy...

Poisons

Baby, cant you see
Im calling
A guy like you
Should wear a warning
Its dangerous
Im fallin

It wasn't right. He knew it... but the feeling... it wasn't something he could just give up. It gave him the energy to continue, to know that he was still able to feel. But deep down, he still knew it was wrong... but the poison... it was sweet...

Theres no escape
I cant wait
I need a hit
Baby, give me it
Youre dangerous
Im lovin it

White wasn't nearly as deep a color as red, and it didn't generate the same powerful feeling... the red overshadowed the white... it was wrong, but he didn't care...

Too high
Cant come down
Losing my head
Spinning round and round
Do you feel me now

The feeling he got while commiting the sin, entering his poisonous paradise, it was like nothing he had ever felt in his life before... it was just unbelievable. He couldn't help himself from continuing...

With a taste of your lips
Im on a ride
You're toxic I'm slipping under
With a taste of a poison paradise
Im addicted to you
Dont you know that youre toxic
And I love what you do
Dont you know that youre toxic

Oh how he wished that he could poison his soul continuously, feel that powerful feeling that nothing could ever beat... but he knew he couldn't, he had to continue... but when he was alone...

Its getting late
To give you up
I took a sip
From my devil's cup
Slowly
Its taking over me

He could poison himself as he pleased, spilling himself with the two colors he treasured the most... sending that pulsating feeling through his body... let the poisionous sin take over... lead him into the hell he was bound to go to...

Too high
Cant come down
Its in the air
And its all around
Can you feel me now

A tight yelp slipped from his mouth as a slight slip brought sharp pain... but it wasn't anything to his sweet poison... the red and white poisons he was forever lusting for... he needed those... he craved for those... they gave him meaning...

With a taste of your lips
Im on a ride
You're toxic I'm slipping under
With a taste of a poison paradise
Im addicted to you
Dont you know that youre toxic
And I love what you do
Dont you know that youre toxic

His additions, his sweet poisons, were all he wanted, but he needed more. He needed someone, someone to share his poisons with... someone who would crave and enjoy the sweet poisons of life as much as he did...

Intoxicate me now
With your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now
I think I'm ready now
Intoxicate me now
With your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now

But there was no such person... no one would enjoy the sweet taste of poison... the sharp feeling of the metal pressing against skin... the sweet emotions flowing into his mind as he reached his peak... he was alone in his obsessions... alone in his poisonous paridise...

Geometric-sama
January 6th, 2005, 07:29 PM
Oh.... dear. Well, as writing it's excellent, but the theme is... I just hope that you're serious about it not being about anyone in particular. But the feeling of the writing is good, mysterious... *will think of more to say later*

Sumomo & Kotoko
January 6th, 2005, 08:55 PM
Me likes.Good thing its not about anyone in particular.It seams very,dark,and mysterious......I'll give it a 10/10 :D

Geometric-sama
January 7th, 2005, 01:41 AM
Maybe I should start a ratings system like Frosty's for OW. :P

aRedMoon
January 7th, 2005, 05:27 PM
Thanks guys... *hmm*

Might not post anything more for awhile...

Geometric-sama
January 7th, 2005, 05:35 PM
Come on Greggy... we'll rate it :P

aRedMoon
January 7th, 2005, 05:36 PM
Don't have anything else I really wanna post :P

Maybe after I finish the Speak piece I've been playing with.

Geometric-sama
January 7th, 2005, 05:49 PM
I'm working on one but it's at home... it's based on the teapot song. But it's a fanfic not OW.

Kelsey
January 7th, 2005, 06:37 PM
Well, the theme is interesting. ^^ Since this is like a poem/song/fanfic, I feel that the overall plot of it is pretty good. I sure got the message anyways. XD I like how after part of the song is done, then it's like the song stops and a narrator takes over for a bit to kind of explain that stanza. I think it was a pretty good fic IMO. ^__^

~Kelsey

Greed
January 7th, 2005, 06:39 PM
Let's see.. overall grammar, 100%. Good catchy song, good themes, I find this very nice.

I can relate to this, when I read this I couldn't help but feel the familiarity. I'd give this a 93% overall grade.

*dies*

aRedMoon
January 7th, 2005, 08:42 PM
Thanks guys. ^_^

I actually normally listen to the song as I re-read it, if it's timed right you can finish all the naratives in about the same amount of time as the verse. So, essentially, you can read the story along to the song. ^_^;;

*feels kinda giddy*

Geometric-sama
January 8th, 2005, 03:31 AM
o_O

*looks @ CaRtOON*

I know the *dies* thing is your trademark, but couldn't you have left it out considering the theme of Greggy's writing? XD

Greed
January 8th, 2005, 05:59 PM
*stares at Jedi_Amara* Ah yes, ah well. >.>; OMG! I didn't meant to be disrespectful! I'm sorry >.<; I'm a brute, and you guys know it. ;;

*dies*

aRedMoon
January 9th, 2005, 12:49 AM
...o.o

Erm... don't die because of t3h suicidal writing...

Geometric-sama
January 9th, 2005, 03:40 AM
Don't worry Greggy, I'm pretty sure she won't die...

... at least I hope so...

aRedMoon
January 10th, 2005, 03:35 PM
She better not. <_<

That'd really, really suck. >>